MettaMeansGoodwill

AjaanFuang,myteacher,oncediscoveredthatasnakehadmovedintohis room.Everytimeheenteredtheroom,hesawitslipintoanarrowspacebehind astoragecabinet.Andeventhoughhetriedleavingthedoortotheroomopen duringthedaytime,thesnakewasntwillingtoleave.Soforthreedaysthey livedtogether.Hewasverycarefulnottostartlethesnakeormakeitfeel threatenedbyhispresence.Butfinallyontheeveningofthethirdday,ashewas sittinginmeditation,headdressedthesnakequietlyinhismind.Hesaid,Look, itsnotthatIdontlikeyou.Idonthaveanybadfeelingsforyou.Butourminds workindifferentways.Itdbeveryeasyfortheretobeamisunderstanding betweenus.Now,therearelotsofplacesoutinthewoodswhereyoucanlive withouttheuneasinessoflivingwithme.Andashesattherespreading thoughtsofmettatothesnake,thesnakeleft. WhenAjaanFuangfirsttoldmethisstory,itmademestopandreconsider myunderstandingofwhatmettais.Mettaisawishforhappinesstrue happinessandtheBuddhasaystodevelopthiswishforourselvesand everyoneelse:Withmettafortheentirecosmos,cultivatealimitlessheart.(Sn1:8) Butwhatstheemotionalqualitythatgoesalongwiththatwish?Manypeople defineitaslovingkindness,implyingadesiretobethereforotherpeople:to cherishthem,toprovidethemwithintimacy,nurture,andprotection.Theidea offeelingloveforeveryonesoundsverynobleandemotionallysatisfying.But whenyoureallystoptothinkaboutallthebeingsinthecosmos,therearealotof themwholikethesnakewouldreacttoyourlovingkindnesswithsuspicion andfear.Ratherthanwantingyourlove,theywouldratherbeleftalone.Others mighttrytotakeunfairadvantageofyourlovingkindness,readingitasasign eitherofyourweaknessorofyourendorsementofwhatevertheywanttodo.In noneofthesecaseswouldyourlovingkindnessleadtoanyonestruehappiness. YourelefttowonderiftheBuddhasinstructionsonuniversalmettaarereally realisticorwise. ButasIlearnedfromAjaanFuangsencounterwiththesnake,mettaisnot necessarilyanattitudeoflovingkindness.Itsmoreanattitudeofgoodwill wishingtheotherpersonwell,butrealizingthattruehappinessissomethingthat eachofusultimatelywillhavetofindforhimorherself,andsometimesmost easilywhenwegoourseparateways. ThisunderstandingofmettaisborneoutinthePaliCanon,firstofallinthe worditself.ThePalilanguagehasanotherwordforlovepemawhereasmetta

2 isrelatedtothewordmitta,orfriend.Universalmettaisfriendlinessforall.The factthatthisfriendlinessequateswithgoodwillisshowninthefourpassagesin theCanonwheretheBuddharecommendsphrasestoholdinmindwhen developingthoughtsofmetta.Thesephrasesprovidehisclearestguidenotonly totheemotionalqualitythatunderliesmetta,butalsototheunderstandingof happinessthatexplainswhyitswiseandrealistictodevelopmettaforall. ThefirstsetofphrasescomesinapassagewheretheBuddharecommends thoughtstocounterillwill.ThesephrasesarechanteddailyinTheravada communitiestheworldover:Maythesebeingsfreefromanimosity,freefrom oppression,andfreefromtroublelookafterthemselveswithease.AN10:176 Noticethatlaststatement:Maytheylookafterthemselveswithease. Yourenotsayingthatyouregoingtobethereforallbeingsallthetime.And mostbeingswouldbehappierknowingthattheycoulddependonthemselves ratherthanhavingtodependonyou.IonceheardaDharmateachersaythathe wouldntwanttoliveinaworldwheretherewasnosufferingbecausethenhe wouldntbeabletoexpresshiscompassionwhichwhenyouthinkaboutit,is anextremelyselfishwish.Heneedsotherpeopletosuffersohecanfeelgood aboutexpressinghiscompassion?Abetterattitudewouldbe,Mayallbeingsbe happy.Maytheybeabletolookafterthemselveswithease.Thatwaytheycan havethehappinessofindependenceandselfreliance. AnothersetofmettaphrasesisintheKaraniyaMettaSutta.Theystartout withasimplewishforhappiness: Happy,atrest, mayallbeingsbehappyatheart. Whateverbeingstheremaybe, weakorstrong,withoutexception, long,large, middling,short, subtle,blatant, seen&unseen, near&far, born&seekingbirth: Mayallbeingsbehappyatheart. Butthentheycontinuewithawishthatallbeingsavoidthecausesthat wouldleadthemtounhappiness: Letnoonedeceiveanother ordespiseanyoneanywhere, orthroughangerorresistance

3 wishforanothertosuffer.Sn1:8 Inrepeatingthesephrases,youwishnotonlythatbeingsbehappy,butalso thattheyavoidtheactionsthatwouldleadtobadkarma,totheirown unhappiness.Yourealizethathappinesshastodependonaction:Forpeopleto findtruehappiness,theyhavetounderstandthecausesforhappinessandacton them.Theyalsohavetounderstandthattruehappinessisharmless.Ifitdepends onsomethingthatharmsothers,itsnotgoingtolast.Thosewhoareharmedare suretodowhattheycantodestroythathappiness.Andthentherestheplain qualityofsympathy:Ifyouseesomeonesuffering,itspainful.Ifyouhaveany sensitivityatall,itshardtofeelhappywhenyouknowthatyourhappinessis causingsufferingforothers. Soagain,whenyouexpressgoodwill,yourenotsayingthatyouregoingto bethereforthemallthetime.Yourehopingthatallbeingswillwiseupabout howtofindhappinessandbethereforthemselves. TheKaraniyaMettaSuttagoesontosaythatwhenyouredevelopingthis attitude,youwanttoprotectitinthesamewaythatamotherwouldprotecther onlychild. Asamotherwouldriskherlife toprotectherchild,heronlychild, evensoshouldonecultivatealimitlessheart withregardtoallbeings. Somepeoplemisreadthispassageinfact,manytranslatorshave mistranslateditthinkingthattheBuddhaistellingustocherishallliving beingsthesamewayamotherwouldcherishheronlychild.Butthatsnotwhat hesactuallysaying.Tobeginwith,hedoesntmentionthewordcherishatall. Andinsteadofdrawingaparallelbetweenprotectingyouronlychildand protectingotherbeings,hedrawstheparallelbetweenprotectingthechildand protectingyourgoodwill.ThisfitsinwithhisotherteachingsintheCanon. Nowheredoeshetellpeopletothrowdowntheirlivestopreventeverycruelty andinjusticeintheworld,buthedoespraisehisfollowersforbeingwillingto throwdowntheirlivesfortheirprecepts:Justastheoceanisstableanddoesnot overstepitstideline,inthesamewaymydisciplesdonotevenforthesakeoftheirlives overstepthetrainingrulesIhaveformulatedforthem.Ud5:5 Theversesherecarryasimilarsentiment:Youshouldbedevotedto cultivatingandprotectingyourgoodwilltomakesurethatyourvirtuous intentionsdontwaver.Thisisbecauseyoudontwanttoharmanyone.Harm canhappenmosteasilywhentheresalapseinyourgoodwill,soyoudo whateveryoucantoprotectthisattitudeatalltimes.Thisiswhy,astheBuddha saystowardtheendofthesutta,youshouldstaydeterminedtopracticethis

4 formofmindfulness:themindfulnessofkeepinginmindyourwishthatall beingsbehappy,tomakesurethatitalwaysinformsthemotivationfor everythingyoudo. ThisiswhytheBuddhaexplicitlyrecommendsdevelopingthoughtsofmetta intwosituationswhereitsespeciallyimportantandespeciallydifficultto maintainskillfulmotivation:whenothersarehurtingyou,andwhenyourealize thatyouvehurtothers. Ifothersareharmingyouwiththeirwordsoractionsevenifbanditswereto carveyouupsavagely,limbbylimb,withatwohandledsawtheBuddha recommendstrainingyourmindinthisway: Ourmindswillbeunaffectedandwewillsaynoevilwords.Wewillremain sympathetic,withamindofgoodwill,andwithnoinnerhate.Wewillkeep pervadingthesepeoplewithanawarenessimbuedwithgoodwilland,beginningwith them,wewillkeeppervadingtheallencompassingworldwithanawarenessimbued withgoodwillabundant,expansive,immeasurable,freefromhostility,freefromill will.MN21 Indoingthis,theBuddhasays,youmakeyourmindasexpansiveasthe RiverGangesoraslargeastheearthinotherwords,largerthantheharmthose peoplearedoingorthreateningtodotoyou.Hehimselfembodiedthisteaching afterDevadattasattemptonhislife.AshetoldMarawhohadcometotaunt himwhilehewasrestingfromapainfulinjuryIliedownwithsympathyforall beings.(SN4:13)Whenyoucanmaintainthisenlargedstateofmindintheface ofpain,theharmthatotherscandotoyoudoesntseemsooverwhelming,and yourelesslikelytorespondinunskillfulways.Youprovideprotectionboth foryourselfandforothersagainstanyunskillfulthingsyouotherwisemightbe temptedtodo. Asforthetimeswhenyourealizethatyouveharmedothers,theBuddha recommendsthatyouunderstandthatremorseisnotgoingtoundotheharm,so ifanapologyisappropriate,youapologize.Inanycase,youresolvenottorepeat theharmfulactionagain.Thenyouspreadthoughtsofgoodwillinalldirections. Thisaccomplishesseveralthings.Itremindsyouofyourowngoodness,so thatyoudontindefenseofyourselfimagereverttothesortofdenialthat refusestoadmitthatanyharmwasdone.Itstrengthensyourdeterminationto stickwithyourresolvenottodoharm.Anditforcesyoutoexamineyouractions toseetheiractualeffect:Ifanyotherofyourhabitsareharmful,youwantto abandonthembeforetheycausefurtherharm.Inotherwords,youdontwant yourgoodwilltobejustanungrounded,floatingidea.Youwanttoapplyit scrupulouslytothenittygrittyofallyourinteractionswithothers.Thatway yourgoodwillbecomeshonest.Anditactuallydoeshaveanimpact,whichis

5 whywedevelopthisattitudetobeginwith:tomakesurethatitactuallydoes animateourthoughts,words,anddeedsinawaythatleadstoahappiness harmlessforall. Finally,theresapassagewheretheBuddhataughtthemonksachantfor spreadinggoodwilltoallsnakesandothercreepingthings.Thestorygoesthata monkmeditatinginaforestwasbittenbyasnakeanddied.Themonksreported thistotheBuddhaandherepliedthatifthatmonkhadspreadgoodwilltoall fourgreatfamiliesofsnakes,thesnakewouldnthavebittenhim.Thenthe Buddhataughtthemonksaprotectivechantforexpressingmettanotonlyfor snakes,butalsoforallbeings. Ihavegoodwillforfootlessbeings, goodwillfortwofootedbeings, goodwillforfourfootedbeings, goodwillformanyfootedbeings. Mayfootlessbeingsdomenoharm. Maytwofootedbeingsdomenoharm. Mayfourfootedbeingsdomenoharm. Maymanyfootedbeingsdomenoharm. Mayallcreatures, allbreathingthings, allbeings each&everyone meetwithgoodfortune. Maynoneofthemcometoanyevil. LimitlessistheBuddha, limitlesstheDhamma, limitlesstheSangha. Thereisalimittocreepingthings: snakes,scorpions,centipedes, spiders,lizards,&rats. Ihavemadethissafeguard, Ihavemadethisprotection. Maythebeingsdepart.AN4:67 Thelaststatementinthisexpressionofmettatakesintoconsiderationthe truththatlivingtogetherisoftendifficultespeciallyforbeingsofdifferent speciesthatcanharmoneanotherandthehappiestpolicyforallconcernedis oftentoliveharmlesslyapart. Thesedifferentwaysofexpressingmettashowthatmettaisnotnecessarily

6 thequalityoflovingkindness.Mettaisbetterthoughtofasgoodwill,andfortwo reasons.Thefirstisthatgoodwillisanattitudeyoucanexpressforeveryone withoutfearofbeinghypocriticalorunrealistic.Itrecognizesthatpeoplewill becometrulyhappynotasaresultofyourcaringforthembutasaresultoftheir ownskillfulactions,andthatthehappinessofselfrelianceisgreaterthanany happinessthatcomesfromdependency. Thesecondreasonisthatgoodwillisamoreskillfulfeelingtohavetoward thosewhowouldbesuspiciousofyourlovingkindnessortrytotakeadvantage ofit.Thereareprobablypeopleyouveharmedinthepastwhowouldrathernot haveanythingtodowithyoueveragain,sotheintimacyoflovingkindness wouldactuallybeasourceofpainforthem,ratherthanjoy.Therearealso peoplewho,whentheyseethatyouwanttoexpresslovingkindness,wouldbe quicktotakeadvantageofit.Andthereareplentyofanimalsouttherewho wouldfeelthreatenedbyanyovertexpressionsoflovefromahumanbeing.In thesecases,amoredistantsenseofgoodwillthatyoupromiseyourselfneverto harmthosepeopleorthosebeingswouldbebetterforeveryoneinvolved. Thisdoesntmeanthatlovingkindnessisneveranappropriateexpressionof goodwill.Yousimplyhavetoknowwhenitsappropriateandwhenitsnot.If youtrulyfeelmettaforyourselfandothers,youcantletyourdesireforwarm feelingsofloveandintimacyrenderyouinsensitivetowhatwouldactuallybe themostskillfulwaytopromotetruehappinessforall. ThanissaroBhikkhu