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Volume Three: The Evolution of Premature Ejaculation

David Van Arrick

Forever Man 3: The Evolution of Premature Ejaculation Van Arrick

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Okay. So we know that premature ejaculation basically distills down to a state of hyper arousal, a loss of physiological control due very primarily to too much exciting of the nervous system. So if thats the case, and my experience shows that it is, and I think yours will too, why do we go in to hyper arousal in the first place? Whats the deal? Well, to answer that question we have to look at a few factors. We have to look at biology. We have to look at evolution, social conditioning and programming. You see, and Im sorry if I seem to be digressing, but it really is relevant guys. If sex ask this question. If sex is such a natural process, in fact, its one of our primary basic needs if you go by Maslows pyramid. We cant survive without it. Quite obviously, we as a race have been doing it quite successfully for some time now. Why now all of a sudden are one-third of the men all over the world, probably more my guess is why are all of us men suddenly having this kind of trouble? Well, the truth is guys; premature ejaculation does not exist outside of our own minds. Now I know those of you who are used to my bizarre way of putting things just went, Huh? You just spent the last 45 minutes or hour, however long youve been listening to this course, listening to me talk about all the neurological responses that lead to premature ejaculation, the injuries that lead to premature ejaculation, and weve talked a lot about arousal. So when I say premature ejaculation does not exist outside of our minds, what the hell what the hell are you talking about Van Arrick!?! Heres what I mean. This is strictly Van Arricks opinion on life and everything. I have no way to prove this as fact, nor do I have the desire to do the research to prove or disprove it. So if you want to go ahead and validate my experience here based on my experience-- what I know. Or disprove it, feel free. Its not going to bother me one way or the other. But heres how I see it. Millions of years ago our ancestors did not worry about premature ejaculation. Because they didnt worry about it didnt exist. Im pretty sure they didnt have much of a problem with impotence either, but well talk about impotence in another segment.

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved David Van Arrick

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David Van Arrick

Forever Man 3: The Evolution of Premature Ejaculation Van Arrick

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In fact, our ancestors had very few things on their mind. Basically eat, sleep, urinate, defecate, and breed. Now, if youve done any kind of research, and especially if youve followed anything put out, if youre from the seduction community or if youre interested in some of that kind of stuff youve probably read some of David DeAngelos 1 work or even studied the Mystery Method. And both these gentleman, both of these teachers in the art of pick up and seduction go to great lengths to explain how evolution and sociology have really programmed us from a biological and evolutionary perspective. 2 We have some were basically hardwired for certain types of behaviors. And I think that relates very, very strongly to the process of premature ejaculation. David D. and Mystery all report that from an evolutionary standpoint, men tend toward being naturally polygamous. They biologically we are biologically programmed and evolutionarily designed to find healthy females and breed with them often, not one 3 , but multiples. 4 Now, ask yourself this. In a world where breeding is one of your primary functions and life is very hard, danger is everywhere and death could come for you at any moment, do you think from an evolutionary standpoint, based on the survival of the species which is the ultimate the ultimate goal of life is to create life. The genes must be carried forward from that standpoint. Im not going to wax into religious or spiritual or any of that stuff. Im talking strictly from and evolutionary standpoint. Your genes must survive. Danger is everywhere. You could be dead at any given moment. Do you think and think about this. Do you think from and evolutionary standpoint its more practical to take a long time to inseminate or impregnate a female, or is it more practical to take a short time?
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Double Your Dating Their focus is on the mating selection process, but many of their insights extend deeply into the sexual aspect, which we are discussing here. 3 Female 4 According to Mystery, the higher the social status of the man in the tribe the more females he has the ability to breed with and the majority of females would naturally find the higher status male a more attractive mate due to his position within the tribe. Many of these characteristics are still active in our culture albeit in slightly different manifestations and forms.
Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved David Van Arrick

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David Van Arrick

Forever Man 3: The Evolution of Premature Ejaculation Van Arrick

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Now, it certainly makes more sense, to me at least, that the ability and necessity to breed as fast as possible with as many females as possible would, in fact, make rapid ejaculation a biological and reproductive advantage, if not an absolute necessity. Not the handicap it is today. Now once again this is my theory. May be right may be totally bull. But it seems functionally to be effective. If you are hardwired to ejaculate rapidly, that would explain why you go into such a fast stage of hyper arousal, does it not? Now, premature ejaculation did not become a problem until very modern times relatively, and thats the rub. You see we as a race have evolved on a mental level, a cultural level, and a technological level far more rapidly than our bodies are capable of evolving. Our larger brains developed within us the capacity to explore sexuality not just for procreative purposes. And when we started to explore sexuality for pleasure, for expressions of love and caring and not just to perpetuate the species, thats when things started to get more complicated. You see the issue of premature ejaculation wasnt an issue. It was just the way things were. So assume that premature ejaculation started to become an issue when we started to develop more intense emotional relationships, things like that, more complicated social interactions. Several decades ago we had this event. It was called the sexual revolution. You may have heard of it. The sexual revolution represented a major turning point in the way women wanted to be treated sexually. A lot of studies started to come out. People started to become more educated. Problems that were kept behind locked doors were suddenly out in the open, and suddenly everybody was dealing with things that, before, they thought they were the only ones dealing with and things that they didnt think were issues suddenly became issuessubjectively, all these things are subjective. Now, Im not going to blame the womens sexual revolution for our problems, but if you follow the course of events you eventually find out that the sexual revolution really was a major upset or upheaval for most men, but were going to

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved David Van Arrick

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David Van Arrick

Forever Man 3: The Evolution of Premature Ejaculation Van Arrick

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win the battle or the war. We lost that battle 5 . Im going to show you how to win the war. 6 Because of the sexual revolution real men are expected to be able to give their women orgasm after orgasm in bed every single time, and theyre supposed to be able to have the stamina of a stallion and last for hours upon hours upon hours. Anybody who doesnt just isnt a real man. Well, thats crap, but thats what we have to live with, and thats the additional pressure that men deal with. We deal with that pressure all the time. See, were not just worried about whether our womans going to be able to have an orgasm. Were worried about, is our penis big enough? Can we sexually satisfy her? How long can we last? Because the longer we last the more of a stud we are. All these things add to our level of stress and level of arousal, and they impact our sexual performance. So as you can see based on my brief and somewhat diverse explanation-- little round about way. What was once a biological and evolutionary necessity has become the bane of every mans sexual existence! Do you start to see how this problem premature ejaculation is a relatively small one when compared to erectile dysfunction or the bugaboo of penis size? Some people just really agonize over penis size, and they really shouldnt. Do you see how this small event 7 as we analyze it, how it could easily become the root cause of things like premature ejaculation, of penis envy, for lack of a better word, even priapism, which well talk about a little bit later. See, in many ways, in spite of all the sexual issues that have come from the sexual revolution to us as a cultural being, in many ways were still physiologically cavemen trying very hard to deal with issues millions of years ahead of our bodies.

Figuratively speaking at least; because the dominant male-oriented perspective of sexuality at the time started to change, becoming irrevocably focused on delivering female pleasure, satisfying and meeting feminine needs and living up to the stereotypical stud male image of how men were supposed to perform in the bedroom based on a feminine ideal. 6 And when I say win, I mean a win/win for both male and female alike. My sexual methods will show you how to become any womans ideal lover and become more of kind of man you always wanted to be in the process. Is that fair? 7 Premature ejaculation
Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved David Van Arrick

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David Van Arrick

Forever Man 3: The Evolution of Premature Ejaculation Van Arrick

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So how do we fix it? The first thing we have to do is really get at the heart of the problem [PE] and understand it. Thats what were doing right now. 8 The textbook definition of PE says that you ejaculate before youre ready. Well, we know thats not the case. If you werent ready to ejaculate, barring and physiological damage or infections to the prostate, you simply wouldnt be ejaculating. If youre ejaculating, its because youve reached a state of arousal that triggers your ejaculatory response. What that definition should really say is this, though. Premature ejaculation in todays modern society is simply the act of ejaculating before you want to. Before you want to guys! See, in addition to my field work, which always comes before my theory research, when someone says I have a problem with premature ejaculation you have to correct them on a couple of things. First of all, no one who is a premature ejaculator has a problem doing it. What they have is a problem not doing it! The second thing you have to ask, of course, is premature according to whom? Whats the standard youre measuring by? In my research, and I did some of this. This took me awhile. I tried to find some study that showed evidence of an average male ejaculation and time. Something that I could use as a barometer to measure whether someone can be premature based on an average ejaculation time or not. The closest I came up with 9 was one website that said premature ejaculation is ejaculating in less than two minutes. Two minutes?

Although much of what we have talked about so may sound superfluous or unnecessary, I feel its very important for you to see all of the ways that PE can be induced. You wont fit all of these patterns but you may be surprised to discover how many of these elements are at work in your life as well. 9 At the time
Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved David Van Arrick

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David Van Arrick

Forever Man 3: The Evolution of Premature Ejaculation Van Arrick

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Have you ever been in a fight, like real combat, or maybe a car accident, or any other state of intense hyper arousal? Have you ever noticed how time 10 starts to change; your experience of time starts to change? In the throws of hyper arousal, two minutes can be a long time. But, admittedly, thats 11 if medical doctors tend to base their diagnoses and their treatments on averages, what the average human does. And if theyre telling me and this was a medical website, by the way, that I pulled this from. I think it was the Harvard Medical website. Two minutes. Which means 12 if you go anything over two minutes; youre not premature ejaculating based on this. Gentlemen, I know guys who go 35, 40 minutes, an hour and complain about premature ejaculation. Its all-subjective, and, of course, people say premature ejaculating is ejaculating before youve satisfied your partner. Folks, if you read any of my books and practiced any of those techniques and concepts with your women, then by now you know that the reason most women do not achieve orgasm during vaginal intercourse is due to what? Whats the word? Come on. You know. Say it. Say it. Okay. Ill say it -- Lack of arousal. Theres that word again. Now, its actually a little bit more complicated than that but not much. Failure for women to achieve orgasm during intercourse is a combination of, A., lack of arousal on her part; B., too much arousal on the part of the man; C., not enough knowledge, position, timing, angle, depth and penetration on both parties. In other words neither of them know the best angles. Neither of them know the best depth. Neither of them understand timing. They dont know.
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Meaning specifically your perception of time during the event Still a relatively short time for most people, but does that mean if you can last for three minutes you dont suffer from PE? Hmmm. 12 Based on that statistic
Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved David Van Arrick

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David Van Arrick

Forever Man 3: The Evolution of Premature Ejaculation Van Arrick

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Im going to give you a little aside here. Common sense tells you that if your woman did know the right angle, depth and penetration that best allowed her to reach orgasm she would tell you, wouldnt she? But common sense isnt that common. In fact, most women are not very forth coming unless theyve known you a really long time, and its really hard to pull it out of them sometimes.13 If they do know the best way that they achieve orgasm through intercourse they very rarely tell you up front. You have to figure it out. Now, assuming they do know and they dont tell you, well, I have a saying. It goes something like this, Knowing and not doing is the same as not knowing. If you have the knowledge and you dont use it, you dont convey it in a way thats meaningful or useful; you might as well not know it. Weve been talking a lot about arousal issues. Theres an evil sidekick that tends to go hand in had and exacerbate or make worse these arousal issues. And that sidekick is simply lack of practice. Now what do I mean by not enough practice? Heres what I mean. Sex is a physical skill. Sex is a physical skill just like football, baseball, soccer, wrestling, knitting, crocheting, calligraphy, and like any type of physical skill, sex takes practice 14 . It takes lots and lots of repetition and practice to create the absolute best requisite balance between physical arousal, mental concentration and the ability to coordinate and function under periods of intense stress or physical arousal or mental arousal for that matter. In other words, using an athletic metaphor, if you never get in the game, dont be surprised when you choke the first time youre at bat, or if you strike out consistently; and thats what Im talking about.

Unless of course you have mastered the techniques, theories and concepts in Secret Orgasm Tips! 14 It takes being immersed in the sexual environment long enough to acclimate yourself to functioning effectively in that environment allowing it to become familiar to you thus lowering your working level of arousal.
Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved David Van Arrick

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David Van Arrick

Forever Man 3: The Evolution of Premature Ejaculation Van Arrick

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Sex is a physical skill, and like any physical skill, there are certain elements that make you better 15 But sex is unique in one way because its the one physical skill, and, for the most part, unless were avid masturbators or we just have out sexual game down pat, our pickup game down pat, men do not have the opportunity to practice the system. Therein lays the heart of the problem, or one of them anyway. Stop for a moment and think about this. Stop and think about the professional athlete or any athlete for that matter. Im talking about boxers, wrestlers, gymnasts, figure skaters, any type of high level sports or physical occupation. Each and every one of those successful athletes had to learn a great deal of physical techniques and skills. They had to develop certain physical and mental attributes and characteristics that enabled them to perform the necessary functions or requirements of their sport or activity. They also had to learn how to perform those skills under extreme pressure, nervousness and fear, etcetera. All these are extreme states of physical arousal. In other words, they had to learn to manage and deal with states of high arousal in order to be successful at what they do. And how did they do that? Well, one way was through intense mental training and rehearsal. Weve talked about that. The other way was through intense physical repetition and practice of the required skills 16 , and then consistently engaging in the activities for which they were training. Top performers prepare mentally and physically as best they can and then actively engage in the activity they prepared for over and over again until it becomes second nature to them. This act of practicing and performing progressively desensitizes them and allows them to be fully in the moment, yet in complete control of their physical and mental states of arousal.
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As well as factors that make you worse and hurt your performance Drills designed to isolate a specific attribute or skill set in order to hone and develop it as fully as possible or at the very least to the minim acceptable standard and then still other drills to integrate attribute and skill sets together

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved David Van Arrick

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David Van Arrick

Forever Man 3: The Evolution of Premature Ejaculation Van Arrick

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Everything achieves a perfect balance, and when all of these mental and physical elements work in perfect harmony, the result is a near perfect or flawless performance. 17 Many athletes call this state of being, Being in the zone. And the reason many aspiring sexual athletes suffer premature ejaculation is simply not being given the opportunity, or not having the opportunity to regularly engage in enough sexual activity to progressively get used to functioning in those higher episodes of arousal, and to learn to manage the sensations that sexual activity generates. There are a few other reasons that come into play here. Most men live a life of sexual scarcity. Now, these are cultural reasons why we go into hyper arousal really easily and why we dont have the opportunity, so to speak, to engage in regular sexual practice. Most men live a life of sexual scarcity. Now, if you read my first book, I talk a lot about scarcity frames and how our culture literally programs men to act from a mindset of sexual scarcity, women and sex are a rare commodity. 18 You get it when you can. You get as much as you can, and that hunger, that intense desire causes a heightened state of arousal, and actually is one of the reasons why people have over sensitivity of the glans penis. They dont get enough sex to get the body used to physical sexual sensations. Its the combination of sexual scarcity combined with the lack of practice that create virtually a perfect recipe for premature ejaculation. It basically boils down to this. In order to prolong your ability to maintain an erection and prolong ejaculation a man needs to be able to be more relaxed, and focused during sexual intercourse. He needs to be able to get used to the sensations of sexual intercourse and become acclimatized to being in a highly charged sexual state, while still maintaining control of his mind and body, and he must do it on a regular and consistent basis.
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Everything flows, in fact this phenomenon is often referred to as the Flow State That is how society and culture brainwash men into perceiving women. The scarcity frame and lack of effective socialization skills cause most men to really struggle when trying to meet or attract a woman.
Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved David Van Arrick

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David Van Arrick

Forever Man 3: The Evolution of Premature Ejaculation Van Arrick

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Have you ever been in a relationship where sex was fairly regular and then gone without sex for any length of time afterwards? Let me ask you something. When you finally got back to your normal schedule, the first time you got back with your lady, what happened when you went to make love? Well, if youre like most people, the first time you reunited with your lover you probably didnt last as long as usual. You were probably a lot more excited, probably a little hornier than most sorry about that. (First day with a new mouth.) First time you were reunited with your lover you probably didnt last very long or as least not as long as youre used to. The reason is because there was a longer period of time between when you had sexual release and now. That [interval] creates a stronger, more intense desire. It creates a sense of sexual scarcity. That sexual scarcity leads to hypersensitivity in the glans penis. It leads to enhanced sexual desire, and when those two things go up on the scale your nervous system responds by making you ejaculate very, very quickly. Some people when they get aroused, especially if youre younger I hear a lot of stories from really young guys talking about their first sexual experience and how it just seemed to last forever, and it just they just went for hours and hours and hours. (By and large those people dont have major problems with premature ejaculation until later and maybe well talk about that. But if youre not having a problem with premature ejaculation, skip ahead.) So this is a scenario that men who do not have sex on a regular basis have to deal with consistently. If youre in a relationship and youre getting sex pretty regularly youll probably notice, if you actually pay attention to this, most people dont, but the early parts of the relationship you dont have you tend to cum or ejaculate faster because youre much more excited because youre in that situation and its still relatively new. But as months go by you make love and youre much more relaxed, youre much more comfortable with your partner and you last longer, and its simply because youve become acclimatized. Youve also become desensitized. Youre not going as high on the arousal scale as you were.

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved David Van Arrick

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David Van Arrick

Forever Man 3: The Evolution of Premature Ejaculation Van Arrick

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Or what youve done is youve so acclimatized to being at that level of arousal that your scale has actually shifted. Youve actually lengthened the scale. So, what was functionally a nine or ten before is now functionally a seven or eight. This is how we get desensitized. This is how we learn to overcome the problems that are inherent in premature ejaculation. So lets sum it up before we get were going to start talking about ways to fix this stuff. Were going to start talking about long term, short term and intermediate term approaches. 19 This is the part youve really been waiting for. But now youve got a lot more education into the whys and wherefores of how to combat premature ejaculation. By the way, following the exercise this is the basic training course, okay, as far as learning how to become a sexual superstar. Its the extensions of the trainings that youre going to do to fix premature ejaculation that are going to give you all the other sexual gains, and thats why I spent so much time talking about this. But, for the most part, understand that the root cause of premature ejaculation comes down to, A, too much arousal; and, B, not enough practice. And with that lets start talking about how to fix the problem.

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There are many ways to fix premature ejaculation. Only some of which lead to long-term enhanced sexual performance and increased quality of lovemaking in terms of pleasure for both partners However I realize that for many folks those longer term solutions may be too long-term, hence the insertion of intermediate and short term (quick fixes) to the problem of PE. Use the short-term methods while you are developing yourself using the longer-term quality-enhancing approaches.
Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved David Van Arrick

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