depression

Continuing Lauris Legacy

By Arlene Franks, On behalf of NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness)

auri Hinrichsen and I were kindred spirits. We were connected through church ties; ribbons of friendship; and the fine, fragile, gossamer web known as mental illness. Lauri lived with bipolar disorder; I live with chronic depression. We didnt have to share specifics of our respective conditions to recognize each others quiet, solitary pain. Her recent death has spurred me to share publicly, for the first time, my story in the hopes of raising awareness about living with mental illness. Its like a secret club for those of us who share the emotional, rocky, and often shame-filled, journey toward mental healing and wholeness. Mental illness is not something one speaks of out loud in polite company. Its the last shameful taboo, an invisible stigma. We talk among ourselves and with trusted friends and family openly and honestly. In public, however, we put on our functional masks and choose our words carefully, reluctant to share too much of our personal story with just anyone. Trust doesnt come easily for us. Weve heard what the public thinks of mental illness. My family called it moody. As my mom once told me, We never knew what to do with you, what would set you off. You were so touchy. I understand why my family felt that way. I was not always easy to live with. Ive often felt like I held the worlds pain
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on my shoulders. I felt responsible when it rained on family camping trips, when my parents argued, when my brother died, when babies died in Africa. I have felt like a mess most of my life, like a swirling mass of emotions, ready to either implode into self-loathing or explode with the force of an uncontrolled rage. Although my so-called bad days are fewer and further between, I still feel like that sometimes. Irritable, cold, aloof, gloomy, lazy, slothful, selfish, overly sensitive, drama queen, problem child, demanding are only a few of the not-so-flattering terms used to describe people who continually deal with depression and other related mental issues. Slang terms like schizo, psycho, crazy, insane, lunatic, deranged, demented, wacko, and maniac, are used for the more debilitating and harder-to-treat conditions like schizophrenia and dissociative disorder. Is it any wonder the 60 million Americans who are afflicted with some form of mental illness every year dont talk openly? According to National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), thats one out of every four adults and one out of every 10 children. Lauri and I felt comfortable in small groups speaking about the issues surrounding mental health. Each of us spoke in such places as Sunday school classes and retreat settings. Then Lauri took it

a step further by writing in our church newsletter. She had taken a class on how race relations had come a long way since the 1950s. In the newsletter, she wondered if the same could be said about prejudice against the mentally ill. While Ive shared some incredibly personal things in my writing and preaching, I have written nothing about my depression. Why is that? Is my depression so different from my diabetes? Ive been willing to share openly about my physical health; why not my mental health? It comes back around to the shame factor I didnt want to admit what seemed to me to be my greatest weakness. But a mental disorder is no more a weakness than heart disease, cancer, or diabetes. Its just not. There is no more need for shame or silence. Life is both exquisitely beautiful and excruciatingly painful, often at the same time. It is a struggle day by day, moment by moment. It takes a lot of energy, strength and courage just to stay above the fray. It takes determination, tenacity, and intentionality to thrive and live well. Believe me when I tell you, its worth all the effort it takes to be well. NAMI is one source that offers support for people with mental illness and those who care for them by providing essential and free education, advocacy, and support group programs (namitricounty.org or www.nami.org). Rev. Arlene Franks is a pastor, preacher, freelance writer, church communications consultant, and NAMI member who lives in Eureka, IL; her blog is at http://www.arlene-alongtheway. blogspot.com/.

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