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DEFINING YOUR THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS* 1. SADNESS: Sadness is the result of some form of loss.

It can be rejection by a loved one, the death of someone close to you, the loss of a job, or the failure at a goal that is important and meaningful to you. 2. ANGER: Anger results when you believe you have been treated unfairly or that others are trying to take advantage of you. 3. FRUSTRATION: A result when an expectation you have is not met. For example, if you thought a task would take 10 minutes and ended up taking 4 hours. 4. FEAR: Is the emotion that results when you perceive you are in immediate danger of harm. 5. ANXIETY: Is the emotion that results when you think about a negative future outcome. 6. INFERIORITY/INADEQUACY: results when you compare yourself to others and conclude that you are not as good as they at some skill or based on some quality. 7. HOPELESSNESS/DISCOURAGEMENT: results when you are convinced that a problem will go on and on forever and will never improve. 8. LONELINESS: results when you perceive that you are not getting enough love and attention. 9. GUILT: Guilt happens when you believe that you have hurt someone or you havent lived up to your own moral standards of behavior. One example might be if you lied to someone you cared about and you dont approve of lying. 10. SHAME: Shame is similar to guilt but while guilt is beating up on yourself for doing wrong, shame is the concern that your behavior will be discovered and others will disapprove of your behavior.

TOP 10 COMMON ERRORS IN THINKING ALSO KNOWN AS COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS* 1. All or Nothing thinking: also known as black and white thinking: This is when a person sees things in black or white terms. For example, if a task falls just short of perfection then it is viewed as a total failure. 2. Overgeneralization: This occurs when one negative event is seen as a pattern. Often times a person making this mistake says the words always and never. For instance, a married couple is in a fight over an incident where the and one person says, You never do what I ask you to! You always do what you want to do!. 3. Mental Filter: You pick out one single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively. As a result, it is like you are wearing dark glasses where every event is viewed negatively. For instance, you give a presentation and 99% of the comments you get from people are positive, but one comment is mildly negative. As a result, you obsess about the speech for the next 3 days as if it was terrible ignoring all of the positive feedback. 4. Discounting the positive: When faced with both positive and negative experiences, you insist that the positive experiences dont count. Common occurrences are when a person is told that they have done a great job by their boss and they say (or think) that it doesnt count or that anyone could have done the job. 5. Jumping to conclusions: This occurs when you interpret things negatively with no facts to support the conclusion Mind Reading: Without checking with another person you assume someone is reacting negatively to you. Fortune Telling: You predict that events will go wrong or that the situation cant get better. 6. Magnification: You expand or exaggerate the importance of shortcomings or problems and minimize or ignore positive qualities.

7. Emotional reasoning: This occurs when you assume that negative emotions reflect the way things really are. For example: I feel scared about getting on this plane; therefore, it must be unsafe. Or, I feel guilty so I must be a bad person. Or , I feel inferior so I must be a second-rate person. I feel hopeless about the situation so it must be hopeless. 8. Should, must, ought and have to statements: this is when you tell yourself that things should be the way you hoped or expected them to be. After playing a difficult piece on the piano a gifted pianist told herself, I shouldnt have made so many mistakes! People often use these statements to motivate themselves (i.e. I shouldnt eat that doughnut) but often these statements promote rebelliousness and fail or lead to frustration or guilty feelings. Should statements directed at others lead to frustration and anger (e.g. he shouldnt be so stubborn about things!). 9. Labeling: This is extreme all-or-nothing thinking. Rather than saying you made a mistake you label yourself as a loser or failure. Extreme labels are extremely harmful and lead to anger, frustration, anxiety and unnecessary negative feelings about yourself. 10. Personalization and blame: Personalization happens when you hold yourself accountable for a situation that is not entirely under your control. For example, a womans child comes home with a bad report card and she tells herself that the report card is proof that she is a horrible mother. Personalization prevents a person from finding the true causes and solutions for a problem. Blame happens when a person places all of the blame on someone else or on the situation rather than looking for their ways they contribute to the problem. The danger here is that others resent being blamed and will put the blame right back on you resulting in a back and forth game of hot potato. *This worksheet was adapted from the following: Burns, D. (1989). The Feeling Good Handbook. Plume Books. New York: New York. (pp.8-10).