TEENAGE GUIDANCE

By Raj Karki

FOREWORD
Can you fill the bottle, whose mouth is sealed with water? Probably, you cant. Like that before reading this book, open your mind. Then only this book can fill your mind.
Before starting I want to say something. There is an old saying: We learn better from experience than study. But I believe it is not completely true. Both experience and studying have equal value. Whereas if you can properly follow what you have studied then, studying is far better than experience. So what should be said is: Improving yourself through experience or studying is far better than just experiencing or studying and doing nothing. But one bitter fact is that experience creates pressure on us to improve whereas studying only make us aware. Heres an example, a well educated person knows exercising is beneficial and

being overweight is harmful. But also he ignores to do exercise and moreover eats a lot of unhealthy food. Later in life he may experience diabetes and heart diseases. At that time it will be too much late and he will have to face do or die condition. Hence he will have to exercise and eat healthy diet willingly or unwillingly. Another example is, many teenagers dont hesitate or feel sorry about spending on unnecessary things, even though their parents tell them or even though they read in book that it is very difficult to earn money and money should be saved. But they ignore all these facts. Later, when they starts to earn money, they experience, how much difficult it is to earn money and says the same thing to their children which theirs parents had told them previously. At that time, they are even forced to limit their necessary or unnecessary expense otherwise they will not be able to fulfill their other more important responsibility. I think, now you might have understood why the saying: We learn better from experience than studying got popular. What I want to say is, it dont matter how much you study or experience. The real thing which matters the most is, how much you learn from your experience or study and how much you apply into your life. But, in this 21st

century you should give high priority to learn from studying because if you give high priority to learn from experience then, you will remain backward. Learning from study or mistake of other is more effective, efficient and beneficial than learning by again repeating that same mistake yourself which other had done. So, start to make self study a habit and try to learn from everything around you. At last, remember that this book is not a magical book so it doesnt make you better person over a night. And only studying this book also wont make you better person. So, be patience and try to learn and apply whatever you study into your life. Remember it isnt a author who makes a book valuable (although author is also important) but it is you. If you seriously learn and apply whatever you study then any book can be valuable.

For Parents
Children are like a piece of glass, if you try to hold it firmly then it will only hurt you but if you let it go then it will break in pieces. So, what should you do is, hold it gently and with care.

Information about writer

Name: Raj Karki D.O.B: 2053/03/29 Mothers name: Parbati Karki Fathers name: Surya Bdr. Karki Facebook Page: Teenage Guidance Current Studying: Tilottama College, Butwal, Nepal Email: rajkarki286@gmail.com About this book: I have prepared this book during the three month holiday after S.L.C(equivalent to class 10) of 2069/70. And I want this book to be accessible to all

the youth and teenager in very low cost possible.

Share this Part I. Other chapter will be posted in my Facebook page: Teenage Guidance soon

CONTENTS
Part I Drug, smoking and alcohol
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. Addiction 9 Understanding addiction 13 Signs and symptoms of addiction Gambling Alcoholism Smoking Drug addiction Causes of drugs, alcohol & smoking addiction and gambling 9. Solution to addiction 10. Final words

Part II

Teenage life
11. Teenage life 12. Value of time 13. Teenage love 14. Understanding sex 15. Sexual abuse and bullying 16. Depression 17. Facts behind stage 18. Five major mistakes by teen 19. Learn to say NO 20. Are you a materialistic

Part III Life guide

21. Stay healthy 22. Earn money 23. Be successful 24. Set your goal 25. Be productive 26. Avoid procrastination 27. Cultivate new habit

28. Start meditation 29. Spend your time with good people 30. Get motivated

Part IV Academic guide 31. Way to study effectively

32. Get motivated to study 33. Improve your focus 34. Improve your memory 35. Exam tips

PART: I
Chapter: 1 Addiction
Addiction is the continuous use of a mood altering substance or behaviour despite of adverse consequences. Or neurological impairment due to which such behaviour occurs even though one try to avoid it. Either you believe it or not there are various types of addiction and some of them are: 1. Drug abuse. 2. Smoking and alcoholism. 3. Gambling. 4. Sexual addiction and pornography addiction. 5. Internet addiction, social networking addiction and television addiction.

Everything which is done too much so, that it starts to effect normal life can be regarded as addiction. There are even addictions of work, exercise and to buy things (shopping). All addiction carries various disadvantages and can affect our normal life, career, relationships, mental and physical aspects. But all addiction doesnt carry same level or degree of effects. Some are more harmful and some are less. One real fact is that addiction is always harmful and it affects your life somehow. Technically, in addiction habits and patterns which are associated with it are typically characterized by immediate gratification (short-term reward), leading to long lasting effects (long-term costs) In addiction physiological dependence occurs when the body has to adjust to the substance by

incorporating the substance into its normal functioning. This state creates the conditions of tolerance and withdrawal. Before moving forward to other chapters it will better to understand these two terms related to addiction: 1. Tolerance Tolerance is the process by which the body adapts to the substance and requires increasingly larger amounts to achieve the original effects. 2. Withdrawal Withdrawal refers to physical and psychological symptoms experienced when reducing or discontinuing a substance that the body has become dependent on. Symptoms of withdrawal generally includes but are not limited to anxiety, irritability, intense cravings for the substances, nausea, hallucinations, headaches, cold, sweats, and tremors.

Chapter: 2 Understanding Addiction

In this chapter Ill try to make you understand about addiction, so keep on reading. Some part of our brain releases a chemical called dopamine due to certain behaviour and that chemical gives pleasure or satisfaction. These feelings of satisfaction become a desire and the person wants to repeat the same behaviour that causes release of dopamine. For example, food and sex releases dopamine, thats why people want to eat food (especially sweet food because it releases more dopamine) even they are full and wants to have sex even they dont need a child or even when it isnt a right time.

Similarly, pleasure or satisfaction gained by release of dopamine causes impacts on brain and helps users to learn quickly to do those behaviour which releases dopamine. Thats why even a small child learns to suck mothers milk easily. And thats why it is not very hard to learn to watch TV because various scenes of TV also help to release dopamine. All the activity which releases dopamine can make you addict. But some substances like drug, cigarette, alcohol and behaviour like gambling can make you addict easily and can cause a lots of damage. These kinds of substances directly stimulate the part of our brain which releases dopamine. Thus it causes to release two-ten times more amount of dopamine than our brain releases normally, giving the user sense of rush or high (extreme pleasure). And if an activity or use of substance releases more amount of dopamine then we will learn more quickly to do that activity or

use that substance. Thats why due to release of more dopamine user learns to use the substances like drugs, alcohol and cigarettes more quickly. And slowly, slowly due to continuous use, it becomes a habit to use that substance and to get that much pleasure. Overtime due to prolong use of such substances brain stops to release as much dopamine as it previously used to release when using such substances. This increases the level tolerance leading to physical dependency. Thats why person needs to involve in more intense use of such substances just to feel normal or to get that kind of pleasure experienced in initial use of such substances. This works like vicious circle which will be difficult to break. Thus, due to quicker process of learning, increasing in level of tolerance and formation of habit to use such substance, user becomes a addict. As a result, the user loses control over the act of taking addicted substance or engaging in

addicted activity. So he/she tries to engage in such activity or use such substance as much as he cans even forgetting all kind of responsibility. In this way, addiction happens.

Chapter: 3 Signs And Symptoms Of Addiction

Some symptoms which can be experienced by addicted person himself/herself are: i. Tolerance increases thats why needs to engage in addictive substance becomes more and more to get desired effect. ii. Withdrawal happens when the person doesnt take the addicted substance or engage in addicted behaviour (like gambling). Thus, experience unpleasant symptoms. iii. It becomes difficult in cutting down or controlling the addicted behaviour or substance.

iv. v.

Social, occupational and recreational activities gets hampered. Addicted person spends most of his/her time in thinking and planning about getting addicted substances (like drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, etc). He/she spends all his/her money to buy such substances even by lying, thieving, selling his/her own properties or being criminal.

Some common signs which can be observed in addicted person by other people are: i. Extreme changes in mood occur in short time. Like being sometime really happy, sometime really sad, sometime anxious, sometime exited and so on. But these types of mood change are also common in nonaddicted teenagers. As teenage is the period of stress.

ii.

Sleeping more or less than usual or sleeping at different times of day or night. iii. Unexpectedly changes in energy. So addicted person sometimes feels extremely tired or sometimes feels extremely energetic. iv. Unexpected weight loss or weight gain. v. Secretiveness and lying behaviour are seen. vi. Stealing behaviour can also be seen. vii. Addicted person sometimes holds a large amounts of money and sometimes dont bear any money. viii. Changes in social groups and new or unusual friends can be observed. ix. Repeatedly going outside without explaining, often with a sense of urgency. x. Drugs or other addictive substance being stashed can be seen with addicted person.

xi.

Problems at school, frequently missing school, sudden disinterest in study or sudden drop in grade.

Above given are just signs and symptoms of addictions. Sometimes some of above mentioned signs can also be seen in non-addicted person due to various reasons. So, dont jump into conclusion and blame someone of addiction but keep a little distance with such person. Before blaming other be sure and have strong evidence and dont forget to take the opinion of the person about this matter if you think he/she is addict.

Chapter: 4 Gambling
Gambling is the wagering of money or something of material value (stakes) on an event with an uncertain outcome with the primary intent of winning additional money and/or material goods. Generally gambling includes playing cards or anything which is mostly based on lucks (like khokhode, kauda, poker, etc). Gambling is the common practice in our society even culturally and is the means to spend leisure time. Gambling looks simple and you may think that there is nothing wrong in gambling. This is because you see elders gambling, movie-star gambling in movie, friends gambling, etc. And when we see something too much we

become unable to see its total impact and start to think it as a normal. Let me give you a example, if you see a small plant daily then you will not notice its growth. But if you see it after a long interval of time then you will notice its growth more easily. Thats why you are unable to see total impacts of gambling. Gambling also releases dopamine. Excitement and happiness caused by winning helps to release dopamine. And relief from stress or pressure, felt after not losing also helps to release in dopamine. Studies shows only 4% of participants who gamble have high chance of being addict gambler. Its a good news, isnt it? But, who knows your name can also be in that 4%. Lets see what happens if you become an addict gambler. At that point, most part of your brain will be occupied by gambling. You will get disinterested to other activity and even

forget to sleep and eat when you gamble. You even become exited and encouraged by just chance of winning. So, you just gamble and gamble even after continuously loosing, with a hope to win and get back all your money you lost while gambling. And even after winning money, you want to play more. Again, at last you will lose all the money. At some point you realize that what you are doing is not good thing, you think about your family and career. Then you will try to get rid of gambling. But also you will be unable to get rid of it. To be free from all your tension and problem you again indulge in gambling. Again at some point you realize about your problem and try to get rid of gambling habit but you will again fail. This cycle of realizing and again gambling continuously repeats. You will feel hopeless; you start to think that you need money to rebuild the life and career. And you will regard gambling as an only

solution and way to get money. You even sell your property, steal and lie to other to manage money for gambling. Now imagine if you were a real addict gambler, how your life would will have been. Just, think about pain and misery you and people around you have to face. Think how problem will squeeze not only you but also your whole family. If you become a addict gambler, you will only indulge in gambling and lose all your hope to get rid of it. And this kind of addiction wont stop easily unless you get proper help or determine to control it like a real man. But no one can guarantee if you can be free from it or not. And even if you become free, it is not possible to return to your previous state. At that time you will have lost your lot of money, time, and your career and you may even lost your only source of love and support in this world i.e. your family and friends.

There are many effect of gambling but can you give me only one good reason to gamble? Can you? Instead of gambling you can choose various good methods to get satisfied, happy and spend your leisure time. So, dont waste your valuable time and life in something worthless and harmful activity like gambling. There are thousands of good ways to enjoy and feel good. Remember, good things always bring good rewards whereas bad things always bring bad rewards

Chapter: 5 Alcoholism
Alcoholism is a broad term for problems related with alcohol and is generally used to mean compulsive and uncontrolled use of alcoholic beverages up to that level in which drunkards health, personal relationships, and social life get affected. Progression in behaviour of alcoholic can be separated into four different stages, which are: i. First stage When a person is introduced to alcohol he/she enjoys the happy feeling it produces. ii. Second stage Person starts to think that consumption of alcohol has no effect

because in the initial stage he/she only experiences pleasure and do not generally experiences negative symptoms. So, drunkard wills again drinks to feel the intense pleasure experienced in the first stage. iii. Third stage Due to prolong consumption of alcohol physical changes occurs and tolerance level increases but it wont be noticeable to drunkard or others. Due to increase in tolerance, person needs to increase the volume of alcohol consumption to experience original pleasure. At this same stage physical and social consequences starts to appear i.e. hangovers, family problems, work problems etc. But also drunkard continues to drink excessively ignoring the problems and consequences. iv. Fourth stage At this stage a drunkard becomes physically dependent on

alcohol and many such addict drunkards will keep on drinking alcohol to avoid withdrawal sickness, just to feel normal and to forget about tensions and problems for a while. At last, due to long term drinking of alcohol various organs gets damaged and even causes premature death. These are the four stages which shows how alcoholic person progress. Consuming alcohol causes severe types of physical, psychological, mental, social and economic problems. It can cause cancer of various digestive organs, affects liver, causes heart problems etc. It also causes depression, anxiety, hallucination, sleeping disorder, irritability, etc. Alcoholism destroys family life, causes unnecessary quarrels, economic problems and also causes economic losses. Sometimes too much consumption of alcohol in a same day can also cause instant death of the person.

But it is also true that alcohol (especially of high quality) is beneficial if taken in moderate amount. But once you start to drink alcohol regularly, it becomes a habit and leads to addiction, with the passage of time. Over time tolerance increases, then you have to drink more alcohol willingly or unwillingly, to get desired effect. So, best thing you can do is avoid drinking alcohol even for one time. Lets look at the some wrong belief that people holds about addiction: i. Many people use alcohol as a way to reduce stress and to get feeling of relaxation for a while. But the real problem wont be solved by drinking alcohol nor will it provide long term satisfaction. So, instead of using alcohol to reduce stress, you can find out the root cause of stress and solve it once and for all.

ii.

iii.

People also think that they need to consume alcohol to increase and intensify their social circle. Because in movie they see alcoholic people partying and enjoying, even in real life we can also see people having high reputation and high economy drinking alcohol with their group and many more. Always remember that, you dont have to drink alcohol to be accepted to your loved one or your peer. So, if your friends ask or force you to drink alcohol in order to get entry in their groups then leave such friends and try to be away from them. A good friend always respects your opinion and helps you to be better not to be worse. When we ask some people then they say that, they needs to drink alcohol in order to get sleep at night and they also says that, they feels restless while sleeping if they dont drink

iv.

alcohol. But real truth is that, although alcohol helps to get sleep easily but such sleep will be of low quality. Even they sleep for 8 hours they feel like they havent slept fully. Because alcohol disturbs the quality of their sleep. Best method which you can use to fall in sleep is do simple meditation by just lying in bed and focus on your breathing. Dont try to have pills as far as possible, for getting sleep because pills can also disturbs your health condition over a long time and even can make you addict to it. Clinically it is proven that alcohol helps to solve some health issues if taken in moderate amount. But with the passage of time, drinking of alcohol becomes a habit and can even make you addict. At that point you have to face large amount of health issues. You may have seen

and realized how family life, career and social status of alcoholic are destroyed. So, it is not wise to drink alcohol in order to improve health condition. In market there are many healthy juices and healthy food are available to feed you. So, why to choose alcohol for drinking? There is no reason to drink alcohol. You wont die nor will your career and social life get destroyed by not drinking alcohol. So, avoid alcohol and enjoy your life.

Chapter: 6 Smoking
At present many younger youth especially teenager are getting involved in smoking day by day. So there is chance you may also smoke in future or you may have already smoked. In this chapter I am going to make you aware about smoking. I dont know, what you think about cigarette but it is a fact that cigarette is a poison which will lead you to the path of death when you use it.

Most of the people start smoking in their teenage year. It is due to various reasons which I am going to describe later in another chapter. Only veryvery few people start smoking in their adult age. But you may see many adult smoking cigarettes. This might confuse you but truth is most of those adult had started smoking in their teenage year. As we know smoking is a one type of addictive behavior which is hard to leave. Lets see how smoking can make you addict, cigarette has many harmful chemicals, one of them is nicotine. When the smokes of cigarette enter your body, nicotine also enters and mixes in the bloodstream. Due to the influence of nicotine, brain releases more amount of dopamine. This increases your desire to

repeat the smoking behaviour more and more and this can make you addict. So, adult who smokes generally starts smoking cigarette in their teenage year and becomes unable to get rid of smoking due to its addiction and to prevent withdrawal sickness. Do you know that (about more than 50%) most of the adult smokers regret about why they started smoking in their teenage year. Even though they try to leave smoking habit, they fail to do so. You should understand that smoking wont make you look cool, talent, adult, powerful nor respectful person. But it is true that it will destroy your life and happiness. Smoking

works like a slow poison which not only shortens your life but also gives you various problems as a gift. Some of the major fact and consequences of smoking are: 1. On average if you smoke for one minute then it will reduce your life span by one minute. To smoke a cigarette, it takes 3-5 or more minutes and if you become chain smoker you may smoke about 40 cigarettes in a day. Now, you can imagine about the amount of time and money you will lose by smoking. 2. Smoking can discolour your nails, fingers and teeth. It can make your mouth, moustaches and cloth to stink. But you will be unable to notice this

type of bad things and bad odour. Thus it will repel other people from you. 3. You start to appear old by your look as wrinkles and rough skins appears prematurely 4. Your teeth, eyes, gums, and lips get affected and can get infection. 5. If you smoke then you will bear 10-22 times more risk of cancer than non smoker. 6. Do you know four out of five causes of oral cancer and esophageal cancer is smoking? 7. Smoking increases the risk of kidney cancer, bladder cancer, pancreatic

cancer, stomach cancer, cervical cancer and leukemia. 8. A 2007 report states that about 4.9 million people in the world dies every year due to smoking. These are just some consequences of smoking. There are many other consequences which are not mentioned here. At last remember that once you start smoking it will be very hard to leave and it makes you an addict person. So it is better to prevent than to regret for whole life. So dont smoke even for first time.

Chapter: 8 Drug Addiction

This is a last type of addiction (but not least), mentioned in this book. Because on the basis of consequences it can be regarded as the most dangerous type of addiction. It not only destroys your life, relationships but also destroys your property and can even make you criminal by more chance than other addiction. Some names of illegal drugs with their nick name are: Heroin (H, Smack)

Cocaine (Coke, Crack) Methamphetamine Crack Cocaine LSD: Lysergic Acid Diethylamide (trips, acid, microdots) Ectasy (E, XTC, eccy) Opium Marijuana (G) Psilocybin Mushroom PCP: Phenocyelidine (angel dust)

These are just some name of the illegal drugs. But nowadays use of legal drugs and medicinal drugs is also increasing. Many drug addicts and general people believe that legal and medicinal

drugs are not harmful. But it is wrong belief. Do you know that many drugs which are termed as illegal at present were used in past as prescription medicine. But people in past, used such drugs in wrong way and started to get addict. Thats why they were made illegal. So, prescription drugs (medicine) are also harmful if used in wrong way or used without prescription. Prescription drugs also holds equal risk of making you addict as illegal drugs and can also harm you. To make you easier to find whether your friends are using prescriptive drugs or not, some street names and nicknames of prescriptive drugs are:- Pilz, Xanax :(Z-bar, Brick, Benzos), Valium:(Blues), Sedatives and Tranquilizers:(Chill Pills, French Fries,

Tranqs), Ritalin(Rid, Vitamin R, Jif, R-ball, Rittys, Rits), Aderall:(Beans, Black Beauties, Christmas Trees, Double Trouble), Vicodin, Oxycontin, Cotton, Percocet, Painkillers, Vike, Watson-387, Percs, Morph, Kicker, Tuss, Big Boys, Cotton OC etc. Nowadays glue-sniffing, a kind of addictive substance which can harm you, is also being used. There are various causes of drug addiction. But in this article I am going to describe about how you can become a drug addict. Lets see it: Whenever you take a drug for the first time you will probably feel the affect very strongly because you have very low tolerance. Due to intense satisfaction you want to try it again and again and become addict to drug. Overtime due to its

continuous use your tolerance level increases. Due to this you wont feel desired satisfaction by the same amount of dose you used at initial stage. So you should need to use higher dose or stronger types of drugs to get desired and original satisfaction. After sometime, again your tolerance level will increases. So you should again use higher dose or stronger drugs to get desired pleasure. This type of cycle continues unless you get proper help. At that time most part of your brain will be occupied by drugs. You only think about drugs and way to get money to buy drugs. You will be unable to decide what is wrong and what is right. You only realize that you need drug and must have it anyway. You will sell

everything around you, you will murder, lie, smuggle, get involve in crime and do whatever you can do to just manage money to buy drugs. You will forget about your family, relationship, friendship and responsibility. Drug addiction will destroy your career, health and social status. You will bear high risk of various kinds of communicable diseases and STDs like HIVAIDS, Hepatitis etc. Some of the problems, which can be brought by drug addiction are: i. ii. Family and relationship problems. Problems at work and school.

iii. iv. v. vi. vii.

Accidents. Legal problems. Financial problems. Health problems. Sexual problems ( can make a addict sterile and can reduces his/her interest in sex)

Above mentioned facts are just a smaller one but if it happens in real life then it will be much more painful, miserable and heart-breaking. I think now you may have been clear about how drug addiction can make you criminal from a normal person and how miserably it can kill you prematurely.

Another wrong belief which people hold about drug addiction is that they regard drug addiction as a personal problem but in fact it is a social problem. If you and your family lives in a place where drug addiction prevails then you and your family members are at high risk of being drug addict. Indirectly, you and your family members can also be victim of problems and crimes resulted by drug addiction. So, instead of regarding drug addiction as others problem we should try to solve it as our own problem. Always remember that, in life many kinds of scars can be healed with the passage of time but scars resulted by drug addiction will not easily heal. Even if you get recovered from drug addiction it

will be very hard to forget the pain and misery of past which will lead you to depression and regret for rest of the life. So, think 100 times, even 1000 times about your career, life and family (who have a great hope in you) before taking drugs. And dont do drugs.

Chapter: 8 Causes Of Drugs, Smoking And Alcohol Addiction And Gambling

Major starting point of drugs, smoking and alcohol addiction and gambling is teenage period. So they all have almost common types of causes. While surfing over internet I found one expert related to this kind of problem saying I will give my daughter $5000 if she dont do drugs up to 21 years. This fact also shows that how much vulnerable is teenage life towards addiction. At this teenage year, one becomes so much confident in himself/herself and thinks that they are invincible and extraordinary. And finally enters into such addiction due to various causes.

Well below I have mentioned some of the major causes of addiction, which are: i. Peer pressure: Teenagers try and want to spend their most time with their friends. Because they shares same types of feelings, same types of problems and same types of attitude and ideas. Teenagers also give high importance to suggestions and opinions of friends than their parents. Because they believe their friends can only understand their feelings and problems, which is also true for up to some context as teenagers share same types of teenage attitude and belief.

So, if your friends are addicted then you are also at high risk of being drug addict. As your friends may suggest you to try addictive substances, they may lure you to try addictive substances, they may say all your problems will be solved, they may say you will look cool and feel relaxed if you try such addictive substances. But these all things are wrong. About 65% of addict teenager said they tried drugs to feel cool and good about themselves. Sometimes your addicted friend may also warn you by saying that they will leave you if you dont try addictive substances. In such case it is far better to leave such friend than to try such

addictive substances. Next, question is why do your addicted friends want to make you addict? Well, there are two major reasons for this. Especially in drug addiction, when one becomes addict he/she spends all his/her money to buy drugs. To buy more drugs he/she needs more additional money. So, he/she starts to lure his/her friend, girlfriend/boyfriend or relatives to try drugs. At the beginning he/she gives them drugs in free of cost. After they become addict he/she will ask them (victim) to bring money to buy drugs with him/her. As a example, he/she will buys 10 gram of drugs at RS 100 from drug dealer and sells less than

5 gram of drugs at Rs 100 to his/her friend, lover or relatives who has become victim. In this way he/she will not only fulfill his/her needs but also he/she can earn more money. And in order to manage money to buy drugs, the person who has become victim, also tries to lure his/her friends to try drugs. In this way, this cycle of drug addiction continues and branches increases. Another major cause is little complex but I will try to make you understand it. Have you ever noticed and thought why do people wants to increase the influence of their religion, culture, language, their political party and even their personality over other? This is

because increasing influence and making more members makes one to feel satisfied, secured from other group, it will help them to exchange many things easily and helps to take various benefits through cooperation. As addicted person mostly involves in conflict so he/she wants to feel more secured and stronger by increasing members (addicted friends). By making other people addicted, also helps him/her to share clothes, money and other things more easily with those people. So, to fulfill this kinds of self-needs your addicted friends may try to make you also addict. So, if you want to be

addiction free and avoid peer pressure for doing bad work, then you should try to keep distance with your addicted friend. As your life, attitude, and habits are mostly influenced by people around you. ii. Depression and stress: Stress in teenage life is more due to increase in responsibility. You have to manage your family life, social life, academic life, personal life, and sometime romantic life all at once. You may feel too much pressured because you are facing these kinds of problems and challenges for the first time in life and you lack the experience to cope with them

properly. In such case being stressed and little depressed is normal. Sometimes parental conflicts, divorce of parents, breakup in love, failure in exam or too much competition and low self esteem can also cause depression and stress. In this type of condition you bear high chance to get addicted in addictive substances, especially prescriptive medicines. As nowadays, use of prescriptive medicine like pain killer, cough tablet, type writer correction fluid, felt tip marker, spray paint, air freshener etc to relax and to get instant gratification is increasing day by day. Because many thinks prescriptive medicine are not harmful but in reality they are also

harmful. Use of marijuana is also common in our society due to its religious value and its easier availability. But remember it is also a type of drug and can harm you. So, try to solve the depression and stress before it gets too worse. iii. Influence of media and iconic figure:

At this present time you can see various Medias everywhere easily, like radio, TV, newspaper, internet, posters etc. Many such Medias give advertisement of alcohol and cigarettes featured by attractive models or iconic figures. This sends negative impact over your teenage brain and you start to believe uses of such

addictive substances are not harmful and regard them as symbol of success and attractiveness. This is totally wrong type of belief. But real thing is such models and iconic figures dont have any personal link with such addictive substances. They are given money or are fulfilled their needs to act in advertisement, by companies of addictive substances. In movies and TV shows you may have seen attractive stars and celebrities using addictive substances. This type of scenes affects the mentality of teenager consciously and subconsciously and they think that reason behind celebritys attractiveness, success and good performance is addictive substances. Sometimes you may also have heard how your best athletes were able

to enhance their performance by doing dope. But, real fact is that, movie stars and celebrities are also paid for their acting and role. They also dont have any personal relation with such addictive substances and are just doing their work as an artist. Next thing is that, many reputed athletes have lost their career, medals and reputation due to doing of dope, even for doing single time. Many iconic figure, celebrities and role models who are really addicted, are unable to work with their full capacity due to influence of addictive substances. After reading above facts one question might pop into your mind i.e.: Why do companies put such false

things in their advertisement if everything is lie? Well, I want to give you an example to make you understand, just imagine that you are going to sell your house and if you say My old, second-hand and dirty house is in sale, who wants to buy it? in advertisement. Then no-one will like to buy it. But if you paint that same house a little-bit and say My new, clean and good house is in sale, who wants to buy it? Then there will be a queue of people to buy that same house. In this way, if companies tell real truth in their advertisement then no one will buy their products and they have to bear loss. Thus, they try to make attractive advertisements in order to make their products popular and to increase sales.

So, sometimes whatever you see may not be real. Remember this fact whenever you see such kind of advertisement next time and avoid it. iv. Everything starts from small intensity.

Do you want to be addict alcoholic, smoker, and druggist or addict gambler? Probably not and in reality no one wants to be such type of addicted person. Many teenagers believe trying drugs, alcohol or cigarette only for the first time wont make them addict because they believes that they are invincible, stronger and extra-ordinary. At the initial stage such addictive substance also wont harm them

moreover give them short-term pleasure and gratification. So, they become more confident and desire to try for second time. The second try becomes third try, third becomes fourth and so on. In this way, habit forms and one becomes addict knowingly or unknowingly. Generally, many teenagers starts their addiction from smaller things like sweet-supari, betel-nut, gutkha, alcohol, cigarette and so on respectively. It is better to avoid addictive substances even smaller type of addictive substances. Remember, a small thing grows and becomes big one day. And never ever try such substances even for the first time because in life everything happens for the first time.

v.

Addictive parents and lack of unconditional love and supervision.

Do you know why home is called the first and important school of children? This is because children learn many things from their parents and environment of home. So, if parents use addictive substance then their children holds more chance to use such addictive substances. This is because if parents use such addictive substances, then it makes their children to think such addictive substances are permissible and harmless. Teenager also wants to be adult and independent like their parents and regard them as role models. So, they try to copy their parents. An international study shows that 98% of teen who smokes has smoking parents.

At present time many parents are either busy or are in abroad to earn money. So they are unable to give proper amount of time to their children, due to this children lacks proper and real love and care from their parents. Moreover parents try to fulfill unnecessary material needs and monetary needs to show their children that they love them. They also generally dont give importance to observe what their children are doing with such money or materials. Thus, due to lack of this kind of supervision children get involved in notorious activity like using addictive substances secretly. A study suggests teen that learns the risks of drugs from their parents are less likely to take drugs than those teen who dont learn, by more than 50%.

Another big mistake parents do is, that they provide conditional love. They show their love whenever children scores top marks in exam, get top position in competition or perform according to their parents expectation. And if children become unable to do as their parents expectation then, parents treat their children like they dont love them, they scold them, punish them and so on. Due to this, whenever children fail in something or do mistakes they become over stressed and depressed than required. They even learn to lie and hide their mistakes to avoid harsh and rude behaviours of their parents. To get rid of such stress they may also get involved in addictive substances. So, parents should totally avoid such behaviours. They should

provide unconditional love. They should show their love to children at same level, even though their children fails or do mistakes. They should try to understand the feelings and problems of their children, they should try to make their children responsible and honest to their career, future and responsibility and should provide suggestion not pressure. Remember, a child always needs the love and support of his/her parents especially during the time of trouble and failure. I dont know who is reading this book right now. If you are parents then try to follow these above mentioned things. But if you are teenager then make your parents aware about it and even if you are unable to make them aware, you yourself

be aware and ignore such bad behaviour of parents. vi. Its up to you

You are the owner, master and controller of your life. No-one can change you but you only can change yourself. There is a saying: You should seal your sac before blaming other. So its up to you to avoid such addictive substances. We can hear even well educated adult people doing drugs later in life. For such people we cant do anything but we can only feel sorry about them. So, its not only enough to read things like, trying drugs, alcohol and cigarettes is harmful. Applying the things which you study is the best thing you can do in your life. Above mentioned causes may

sound simple to you and you may try to ignore them, thinking you cant be addicted. Well this really happens at this age because you are filled with teenage hot blood and lot of energy and you feel yourself as an extraordinary. So even they sound simple and ordinary adopt them sincerely. Because many things appear as simple and small at the beginning so they are ignored but with the passage of time they bring big problems in life. Remember, in life there are always options which can be good or bad. And you are the one to choose it. So which one do you choose: Good or Bad.

Chapter: 9 Solution To Addiction

Many addicted people also want to get rid of addiction frequently. So, they try to stay away from addictive substance and also manage to remain clean for some moments (few hours to few days). But the craving for addictive substance becomes so strong that they fail to get rid of it. This is the truth. This chapter is especially dedicated to those people who are addicted. But non addicted people can also learn many things from it. In this chapter I am going to guide you about how to get rid of addiction.

There is a saying: Its never late to bring positive change in life. So, no matter how much old you are if you are able to get rid of addiction, certainly your life will be better and greater than it is now. First of all, you have to be honest and realize your faults and problems. Then tell your parents or spouse that you are addicted and tell them that you really want to change and you need their help to make that change. Dont forget to apologise with them about all your bad deeds and faults which have hurt them. There is a saying: The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You dont blame them on your mother, the ecology or the president. You realize that you controls your destiny. -Albert Ellis

After hearing your these kinds of words your parents or spouse or best friend will be certainly happy to help you as they loves you very much. Dont ignore this above mentioned step because you really need help of others to fight against addiction. During the youth period many thinks that they can fight with addiction alone. But reality is that you cant fight against addiction alone because it is very hard to do so and if you can do that alone then, you wont have to be addicted. Next step is to take help of rehabilitation center. If you have money and if you can afford, then the best and efficient way to get rid of addiction is by going to rehabilitation center. There are counsellor, experienced people and discipline enforcer in rehabilitation centre

who will help you to get rid of addiction effectively. But all people wont be so much fortunate to afford the bills of rehabilitation center. If you are, one of them, then dont worry, nothing is impossible in this world. Whatever your mind can think, you can achieve it in real world but you should be patience, honest and persistent. Always remember that, its you who have to be ready and interested at first, to bring change in your life. Then only other can help and guide you. Below I have mentioned some steps which are important even if you go to rehabilitation center. Because you wont stay there forever, someday you might

come out and may again become victim of addiction. So, to maintain sobriety from addictive materials even after coming out of rehabilitation center, these tips will certainly help you: i. Change the environment Remove all the things from your house or room that are linked with your addiction as much as possible to unreachable place so that you dont get in contact with those things even if you want to, when cravings increases. And, if you are strong addict of smoking, alcohol or drugs then dont try to stop suddenly because if you do so it may cause more problems. So that asks your parents to give such substances

by slowly reducing the dose each time. Slow change is better than no change. So dont try to stop it suddenly if you are highly addicted. Try to make small or even very small change but give continuity to it. ii. Switch to non-addicted friends If you give continuity to get in contact with your addicted friends even after starting this method, then your chances to get rid of addiction highly decreases. So, limit the contact with such friends to Hi, Hello and Bye unless it is very necessary. If you can, then cut off the contact with those locations

where availability and use of addictive substances is more like party, pub, disco, bar etc. Surround yourself with good friends and positive people. If no any good friends are available then read books or do other good entertaining tasks. iii. Beat your craving

Even after having strong desire to get rid of addiction, sometimes craving for that substance will increase so much that you forget all your commitments and promises. You may even start to lie to other for getting that substance. Thoughts like I will just try this (addictive substance) only for today and from tomorrow I will not even think

about it can pop into your mind. This is the hardest time, when trying to get rid of addiction. And in this kind of condition, if you give a try to that substance, after the ending of craving you will feel regret and distressed over such kind of act. Thus, you try to indulge more in that substance. After using too much amount of that substance you will again make promise and commitments with yourself, to avoid such addictive substances for forever. When tomorrow or next day comes, cravings again increases and same thought, which is mentioned in the top of this paragraph inside inverted commas, again comes into your mind. In this way, you will become unable to get rid of addiction. And at last you will end up

becoming hopeless and sad about getting rid of addiction. If you are one of the above mentioned type of person who has failed a lot then acknowledge this quoteIn life failure is just one type of learning method. So try to learn from failure and avoid that mistake again. So, dont get sad from your failure but try to learn from it. If one method fails then try another or different method. Generally, a craving session lasts for about 3-5 minutes. So look at the clock and count-down the time during the craving session. In a day there can be several craving session each of 3-5 minutes. Try to relax and divert your mind during such craving session.

You can also make your parents aware about this kind of cravings and thoughts which can come during craving. Tell them to avoid any kind of excuses during the craving session and tell them to provide you good supervision during such session. Remember that, during the craving session, not you but your craving speaks and controls you more. And the more you are able or become successful to avoid such cravings, the more you will get stronger and confident to fight against addiction. iv. Find out the root cause Everything has its own root cause. So, there is/are also root cause/s for your craving. For

example, when you feel lonely youre craving or desire to use drug may increases. If so, then surround yourself with positive friend, people or relative. Your craving to use addictive substance can also increase, when you feel stressed or hopeless. If so then try to manage stress and stay hopeful. If you can, then even try to find the deeper cause of stress, like deeper cause of stress can be breakup with your partner or failure in something. After finding root cause try to solve such cause once and for all. In this way, try to find the root cause of your craving and try to solve it once and for all or try to reduce the conditions or

situations which causes cravings, as much as you can. v. Replace bad habit good one Only trying to cut off the addictive substances or addictive behaviour is not enough. You should try to replace addiction of addictive substances by good habits or good work. This not only helps you to utilize your saved time properly but also helps you to learn new thing and stay encouraged. For this you can get involved in anything which is good and which you enjoy the most like painting, learning or listening music, reading various kinds of book etc. vi. Be motivated

If you are addict person then you may have lost many things like your health, family, career or money due to addictive behaviour. And memory of such pains and losses of past wont let you live happily even if you get rid of addictive behaviour or substances. So that there is chances you may feel regret and become hopeless in future or at present due to effect of bad activity of past. And to avoid such kinds of stress and past memory you may again get involved in such addictive substances. So, you should be motivated to face and manage such situations or memory and to increase your self-confidence and

self-belief. To do so, you can read self help books, inspirational books, motivating videos or movies, novels, biography of famous people and books related to struggle of life. This kind of things can help you to remain hopeful, realize your value, manage your stress and helps you to be stronger mentally. vii. Give autosuggestion Autosuggestion sounds simple but it is more powerful than we can imagine. Auto suggestion can create a huge impact over your sub-conscious mind and can help you to increase your efficiency and confidence. Generally, your autosuggestion should look like

this I am becoming less and less addicted day by day. I am winning over my craving daily. I am becoming physically and mentally stronger to control my addiction .. In this way you can give autosuggestion to yourself in your own way. But while giving autosuggestion try to repeat only positive thing and say what you want to be in future not what you are at present. If you say these kinds of positives thought by looking yourself in mirror then it will be more better. Now lets see how autosuggestion works, if you give autosuggestion by saying I have already become.. or I am

becoming.., then your sub-conscious mind starts to work like it had already happened. Thus, this will reinforces and helps those imagined thought to happen in real life more easily and effectively. Although, autosuggestion is boring, but the more you repeat giving autosuggestion to yourself the more benefit you will get and the more quickly you will recover from addiction. So, try to autosuggest to yourself at least once a day but if you can, then autosuggest to yourself as much time as you can. viii. Overcome sleeplessness

Sleep is vital for all aspect of our life. But many addicts faces the problem of sleeplessness while trying to get rid of addictive substances. For this try to do simple meditation by just lying in your bed until you sleep or listen to the song you like most, especially a calming song. In the beginning it will be very hard and boring to sleep but with few times of practice everything will be easy and automatic. ix. Relapse: How to deal with it To get more information about relapse look at

the chapter named Cultivate New Habit of this book.

Finally these are some of the steps that can help you to get rid of addiction of not only drugs, smoking or alcohol but also helps to get rid of various types of addiction like addiction of watching TV, playing video games, social networking etc if you are able to modify these above mentioned steps by little bit according to type of your addiction. Try to get rid of addiction slowly and continuously. Dont hope for instant result be patience and persistent.

Always remember sooner you start to get rid of addiction sooner you will be recovered. These kinds of addiction cannot be treated by hiding or torturing the addict. If you do so then not only addict but you and your family also have to face more complex situation which may lead to deep negative effects. Addiction can only be treated through proper and precise planning, effort and patience. So, if you are addict or if someone is addict in your family, then start to recover from today to prevent further loss, pain and complexity of problem.

Chapter: 10 Final Words

I think after reading previous chapters, you may have learnt many things about addiction. And I hope you will never get involved in this type of bad things. After reading chapter 9 you may think that nothing will happen even if one becomes addicted because there is solution. But this is just another wrong thing that can pop into your teenage brain. Do you think it is right to avoid caring of our health thinking that there are medicines and methods to cure diseases? Certainly, it isnt.

According to past trend and past record, one thing you should be clear is that only few people are able to recover completely for whole life after going to rehabilitation center whereas many relapses later in life even after being recovered at rehabilitation center. And some addict people arent able to get rid of addiction even after many tries. Dont forget that, by being addicted you have to lose many things in life and many such things cant be again regained later. But my dear friends who are addict at this present time dont lose your hope. Just remember one thing that,You wont lose the fight unless you stop fighting. So, even if you have failed for several times dont be sad but keep on trying and trying.

Nick Vujicic, a motivational speaker once said, If I fail to do what I want for 100 times and if I give up at the end due to disappointment and numerous failures. Then I will never be able to do it for my whole life. But if I try again and again then someday I will be able to do what I want. Think like this and stay positive towards life. One wrong thing that occurs in our society is that, the parents try to hide their childrens addiction towards drugs, alcohol or cigarettes. They regard their reputation bigger than their children. And again they do another wrong thing, i.e. they make their children to marry thinking that the marital relation will bring them in right path. But this will only make problem more severe. This is like making an innocent person to ride over a mad horse.

This will not only damage the life of their children but also damage the life of another person who marries with their children. In this type of condition major victim are girls who marry the addicted boys. So, girls themselves should be aware during their marriage. If you are a girl, then you should not expect or believe that your future husband will change after marriage, even though he promises and do commitment with you to change. Such types of commitments and promises wont last longer against addiction. So, make your future husband or partner to change and leave addictive behaviour before marriage or before establishing any serious relationship. Think yourself, if he cant get rid of addiction before marriage, then how

can you expect or believe that he will get rid of it after marriage. One of the teachers of my locality once said, I dont care, even if my children dont study but they shouldnt be druggists, alcoholic or smokers. What is the benefit or worth of studying and getting high grades if they die prematurely due to addiction and if they are unable to apply whatever they have learnt? Isnt his view true? Youre all property, qualification, social status and relation can easily fade away if you become addicted. You wont be able to live fully. What my suggestion is, never ever try such addictive substances even for the first time. Dont overestimate yourself and dont underestimate such

addictive substances. Be addiction free and enjoy your life fully and happily. We are here to enjoy and live our life fully and happily with dignity not to live with sadness, sorrow and self hatred

Part: II
Chapter: 11 Teenage Life
Everyone experiences teenage life which begin at about 11 years of age and last up to about 20 years of age. This is a transitional stage of physical and psychological human development. As well as change in brain occurs with the increase in knowledge and ability to think abstractly and reason effectively. Teenage is the short period of life i.e. about 10-15% of whole life. It is the time of learning and growing to be able to face and solve the problems of life. Small changes in teenage life can bring

great effects for whole life because it is the initial stage of life. It is time to choose the direction for our life. And if you do a mistake while choosing direction then your whole life can wander around the wrong direction. For example, if you are morally good, hard-working and positively hopeful person, then you hold a high chance of being successful and good person later in life. But, if you are wicked, addicted and negligence person then you hold a high chance of being unsuccessful and bad person, later in life. You may say that adult people can also involve in bad activity later in life even after being good in teenage year. But chances are very low for adult to choose bad path than teenagers.

Lets take another example, just imagine what will happen to bicycle moving with the speed of rocket? Certainly it will be more vulnerable to heat produced by friction and may even get destroyed. But rocket dont get destroyed nor it get affected with that much speed because rocket is fully developed and advance than bicycle. In this way, although you have energy and physical body like adult, but they are not completely developed. Many things in you are still developing so they may not work well. But adult person is more developed than you almost in all aspect, s/he knows how the world works, s/he is more experienced than you and s/he knows which thing is important and which is not.

Lets see some feelings and changes which occur in teenage life: 1. Although you are not completely a child but little influence of imaginary and overestimating character of child is still in you. Thats why, like child you become too much ambitious and you overestimate yourself whereas you underestimate many reality of life. Whenever you see public figure like artist, athletes, politician etc then you want to be like that person without caring about your present condition and challenges. You also regard yourself as extraordinary. And later when your ambition becomes unreachable or impossible then you start to feel stressed and depressed.

2. Externally you start to appear more like adult and less like child. Thats why people around you starts to treat you like adult, they decrease their guidance and observation over you because they forget the one fact that you are still not completely adult and you arent mentally ready to handle stress and challenges of adult life. During teenage years you yourself have to make many decisions and decision which you make may get wrong. You faces many new physical and psychological changes which you havent experienced before. And such changes and challenges are mostly handled by you yourself. 3. During this stage there is also influence of adult brain over you.

Thats why you want to be independent and have self respect. You hate when people scold and criticize you. You start to hold feelings of revenge, anger and hatred for a long time, even if the matter is small. 4. Due to hormonal and physical changes you start to get attracted towards opposite sex and you want to be loved by opposite sex. And your desire to have sex also increases. Since this kinds of feelings are new to you, thats why you lack experience to handle and manage it properly. 5. You want to spend your most time with your friends. Because you and your friends share same belief, attitude and same physical changes.

And it is fact that, people who shares same belief, same problem, same conscious level and same standard wants to spend time together. You might have heard a saying Birds with same feather fly together. During teenage year, as you spend your most time with friend like you and if the attitude, behaviour and habit of your friends are not good then it will starts to influence you. 6. At this time you dont have to be stressed about basic needs like foods, clothes, shelter and other things because your parents are there to fulfill it. So you only give priority to short- term gratification and you dont think about tomorrow. So, you just want to watch T.V, enjoy and you

dont want to study because during teen year you generally dont have to worry or stress about basic needs. One research shows that, teenagers give high priority to rewards especially social rewards than consequences. Thats why whenever a teenage boy sees his friends or other people then he try to speed up his bike and tries to show stunts. Because he wants them to give him a social reward which includes positive comments like cool, awesome, fantastic etc. While speeding up his bike and showing stunts he ignore the risks and consequences involved which can even kill him. Thats why during this teenage year, one ignore the consequences and risks of using drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, wasting too

much money etc whereas gives a lot of priority to rewards especially social rewards obtained from doing such activities. This kind of above mentioned facts make teenage life most vulnerable. I will describe about some of the above mentioned facts in the upcoming chapters. But also try to realize and understand these above mentioned facts and improve yourself. Remember this quote, The consequences of today are determined by the actions of the past. To change your futures alter your decisions today. Acknowledge that, you yourself should be responsible for the

good and bad reward of your good and bad deed respectively.

Chapter: 12 Value of Time

Time is progressive because it waits for none and it is valuable because life is short. If you live for about next 70 years then you have only about 25,550 days remaining to live. For a while, this figure looks a lot but in reality it isnt. For example, when someone gives you Rs 1000, at first this amount of money may looks too much to you. But if you start to spend that money randomly and if that money reduces to Rs 100, then that same amount which you have got in the beginning, appears to be like small amount and you may even regret over your unnecessary expenditure.

Another example to prove it is: imagine your next exam is scheduled to 365 days ahead. At the beginning this number of days may look too much to you. So, you may spend it on useless tasks like unnecessary partying, wandering, watching T.V, movie etc. Every day you may just put off your studying task for next day or next week in order to give yourself time to enjoy. You may not even notice that your time is going down until you have just 20-30 days remaining before exam. Then at that time, you start feel too much pressured. You start to regret about your habit and past useless task. At last your exam may even get worse. In this type of case you dont have to worry too much because it is just a small amount of money and just

an exam. And you can also say, Next time I will do much better because you can again get chances to earn money and face the exam again at various point of life. But, if same type of condition happens at the end of your life then can you say "Next time I will do better?" No you cant. Instead you only have to bear self hatred, self criticism and regret. Whereas if you had spent that Rs 1000 on important thing then that same amount would have worth more and could have even given you sense of satisfaction. And if you had properly utilized most of your time before exam for studying, then those 365 days would have worth more and you would have felt good about it. Similarly, if you utilize the time of your life on the things that matters or give you

innermost satisfaction then, you can make your life valuable and you also dont have to regret later in life. Now I will like to give you example of some major things which can waste your time: 1. Television and knowledge less movies You may like to watch T.V and movies too much. But watching too much of such things will only waste your time. Some of the facts of watching T.V and movies are: i. Research shows that T.V slows down our mind and excessive watching of T.V can make ones brain inactive. You may say, We can get news and information

from T.V and movies. But it is better to read such news and information from newspapers, books or internet. Because reading makes your mind to imagine the scenes of things which you read and can even help in development of brain. ii. Nowadays T.V programmes and movies are highly commercialized. They are also less effective in giving good moral and knowledge. Moreover they are accompanied by lots of advertisements which encourage you or increase your desire to buy the product shown in advertisement, even if you dont really need it.

iii.

Most movies and T.V programmes contains violence scenes, nude scenes, scenes of using drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes. And too much exposure to this type of scenes can create the negative impacts on your brain and even encourages you to do so in real life. How many hour do you watch T.V in a day? For example, if you watch T.V for 1 hour in a day then in a week you will watch T.V for 7 hours. And at the end of the week do you feel like you have achieved anything by watching T.V? But if you had spent that 7 hours time in

iv.

something important that matters, then you would have certainly got sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. v. Programmes and movies in T.V is just tricking you and holding you back. Do you know why you want to watch T.V? The major reason behind this is that programmes in T.V and movies give you short-term sense of achievement of thing that you want to happen in your life. As your mind feels and behave what you are seeing in T.V is really happening in your life and even releases chemical like adrenaline or dopamine

depending on scenes, which gives you sense of satisfaction, excitement, fear or risk. For example, teenagers wants to be in love with opposite sex, due to this programmes or movies related to love story is popular among teenagers as it provides them short term sense of what they are desiring is really happening in their life. Whereas cartoons and imaginary programmes are popular among small children because they wants imaginary and supernatural things to happen in their life. So, instead of watching T.V to get short-term gratification, start to work hard

to achieve the things which you really want in life and get true satisfaction and happiness. I think now you have been too much clear about T.V programmes and movies. So, from today try to reduce the time which you waste in watching as much you can. The more you reduce watching T.V the more productive you can be. 2. Internet and Social Networking This is the age of information and technology. At present, major source of information is internet. But instead of using internet for information many teenagers and youth uses it for doing useless tasks and chatting in social networking sites. If you are

one of them then I want to say something. Social networking sites have been very helpful for making this world a global village. They are helping us to chat and make a video call with our relatives and our friends who are living far from us. We can even make new friends through them and many more. But what is happening is that such social networking sites are being misused and are being used too much than necessary. Do you know that in developed country people are using internet to earn money, to gather information and to make their life better. But many people in our country are using it to

spend their valuable time by doing useless or worthless tasks. Do you know, that too much use of social networking site can also make you addict to it. There is a saying Too much cooks spoils the broth. So, use such social networking sites for good and productive thing and avoid its excessive use. Beware of cyberbullying and remember that it is better to meet the person directly or talk with him/her through video or audio call than chatting with him/her by sending text message. Social networking sites are made to make our life easier not to damage it. And dont forget to use internet for getting new information.

3. Smoking, drinking alcohol and using drugs. Smoking, drinking alcohol and using drugs can also waste your time. I think after reading chapters related to them you might have learnt pretty much about them. Again what I want to say is dont use such substances. Remember Every moment you get is a gift. So spend it on the things that matter. Dont spend it by dwelling on unhappy things. Thus, realize the value of time from today and appreciate your each second and utilize it properly. There is a saying, To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.

To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who has given birth to pre-mature baby. To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of weekly newspaper. To realize the value of ONE hour, ask the lover who are waiting to meet. To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask the person who missed the train. To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics. Treasure every moment you have! And remember Time and tide waits for none.

DO you think you lack a time to do something? If so then first of all read this quote: Dont say that you dont have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Hellen Keller, Pasteur, Michanlangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo Da Vinci and Albert Einstein -Lifes Little Instruction Book compiled by H. Jackson Brown Jr. Isnt the above mentioned quote truthful? Have you ever realized that you are also given equal amount of time that was given to great people? Well, its up to you how you utilize your time and how much effectively you use it?

There is another saying: You dont get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring in the hour. -Jim Rohn Thats why people in higher posts are paid more than the people in lower posts. Have you ever thought that why only handful number of people is remembered from among the billions of people who have died in this earth? And another amazing thing is that everyone who has born in this earth was given equal amount of hours, minutes and seconds in a day, since from thousands of years ago. This is all because of proper utilization of time. Thats why people like Moti Ram Bhatta, Parijat etc are remembered and

respected even though they had lived for short time. So, it dont matter how much time you have got to live. The real thing which matters the most is how you spend the time you have got to live. So, start living fully on the thing that really matter.

Chapter: 13 Teenage Love

Nature has made man and woman different from the beginning. What man posses biologically (especially sex organs) and psychologically is different than woman and what woman posses is different than man. This is because to make them able to fulfill each other's needs and lacks. Woman has a set of sex organs made to get pregnant and to bear baby in womb for 9 months. Whereas man has different set of sex organs made to impregnate a woman. This is a biological fact which you have to understand.

Psychologically, woman posses nurturing and social behaviour whereas man posses aggressive behaviour. Lets go to little ancient time, at that time whenever wild animals used to attack village, aggressive behaviour of man was perfect to deal with such animals. But to deal with a child, social and nurturing behaviour is perfect rather than aggressive behoviour. These kinds of behaviours are naturally obtained from childhood. For example, a girl child likes to play with doll, teddy bear and toys related to kitchen. Whereas, a boy child likes to play game related to fighting and attacking. Similarly even in adult age women like to engage in household work and caring baby. Whereas man like to work outside where aggressive behaviour is generally required.

A woman wants to feel safe and protected and wants to bear healthy child and wants to secure bright future for them. Thats why in past women used to choose mating or life partner on the basis of social status, physical structure and economic status. Whereas a man needs to be emotionally supported and calmed down. At present, due to influence of media , advancement of human society, balance of rights and advancement of laws and justice this kinds of wants and desires are either decreased or suppressed. But also their influence can be found if we look around ourselves. From above you can see how man and woman equipped to fulfill each others needs and desire. They are also well equipped to solve various

problems, when they are together. And love is the only thing that keeps man and woman together for a long time in order to supporting each other. You may say sex is greater but I think love is. Sex is like academic certificate whereas love is like education. Generally education is needed to have certificate. When you have good education then you will automatically get good certificate. In this way, when you have true love then sex will be more better and provide long-term satisfaction. You may say that one can have a fake certificate. Yes, it is true. Like fake certificate one can also have sex without love. But such kind of sex is not satisfactory and provides regrets, later in life. So, love is a wonderful thing to have if done in a right and proper

way. But teenagers are not fully developed to make their love successful. Thats why; teenage loves generally dont last for longtime. I have some reason to prove this: Like when you were a child you used to enjoy in your imaginary world, you used to enjoy watching cartoons, superstitious and imaginary programmes and movies, you used to play with toys etc. but when you became teenager you lost your interest towards all those things, you started to like movies based on love story, you started to get attracted towards opposite sex, you started to realize your responsibility and limit, you started to get worried about your future, etc. Again, when you become adult you are going to change a lot.

Generally, teenager gives more priority to physical and external attractiveness. They generally dont care about other things which are which are more important than physical feature. But when one becomes adult he/she starts to think differently and he/she gives priority to other things which are more important. Generally at that time, physical attractiveness and external factor becomes secondary goal. At that time he/she will realize and understand what is truly important and what is not, he/she will realize how stupid he/she was during his/her teenage year and regret over the past wrong decision and bad activity of past. So, at that time your lover may not like you or you may not like

your lover, which you had chosen during your teenage year. In such condition one party will probably end up having broken heart, broken dreams and depression, even after giving few months or years of efforts and dedications to make love successful. Another fact is that, teenage love is generally conditional. While doing love in teenage year you may say, if he/she will be like that then only I will love him/her or if he/she posses that thing then only I will love him/her and if not then I will dump him/her. But have you ever seen unconditional love of adult people? Despite of frequent misunderstanding and dispute they(adult lover) manage to stay together. As they love each other unconditionally and even in condition of dispute and quarrel, they manages peaceful discussion, realizes

each others fault, solve that matter and give excuses to each other as far as possible. But, when such quarrel occurs in teenage love then they generally do breakup and hold a feeling of revenge and hatred against each other. Remember that teenage period is the time to grow, learn new skill and to make yourself ready to cope the problems of future and to be successful. This is the most efficient time to learn and become better as you dont have to worry about basic needs because your parents are there to fulfill all your basic needs. But later, you yourself have to fulfill most of your basic needs and you dont get enough time to improve your skill and qualification. So, give your most priority to

enhancement of skill, career and future than love during your this age. One very true but bitter fact that occurs in our society is marriage by eloping. Many teenage lovers think that marriage is the only way to institutionalize their love. In the beginning days, after their marriage such couples might have a good life due to sexual attraction and money. But later when poverty, starvation and unemployment hits that family then their marital life starts to ruin because they lacks experience, skill and knowledge to cope such problems. In such conditions most of the troubles have to be faced by girl due to prevalence of male dominant society. In such family birth of a child just adds additional problems, especially to that girl. Such girls are not

generally accepted by boys family and generally they becomes victim of torture by family members boy's side. In such condition if the love and marriage was between inter-caste couple then the problem will only becomes more severe, as our society is still traditional and cultural minded. By showing these facts I am not trying to advocate against teenage love. But I am just trying to make you aware about risk involved while doing love in teenage year. Time has changed a lot. So, its not possible and also not good to forbade one to do love during teenage year against his/her will. But, one shouldnt make it too much serious; otherwise he/she has to face various problems in future.

Acknowledge this, Dont ever let your love to fly in the sky without any support on the ground, because when it falls down on that bare ground then it hurts a lot and that pain may not allow you to stand up again. So at this time give your major time and priority to your career and future than love. And use your love to motivate and improve each other not to degrade each other and not to waste each others time.

Chapter: 14 Understanding Sex

In this world, multicellular living organisms like human being are continuing their life cycle since thousands of years. Their existence is possible due to production of new organism from older organism of same species. Without sex this production is not possible and that organism will certainly extinct. Similarly human being is able to continue their life cycle and its race due to sex. You can see how much is sex important biologically. But it can become too much dangerous if you take it lightly and randomly. So, in this chapter I am going

to make you aware about sex especially teenage sex. In the past the main aim of sex used to be give birth to baby. Now it is linked with pleasure due to availability of modern contraceptive devices. In the teenage period due to hormonal production and development of sex organs for being able to produce baby, you may feel desire to have sex. So, there is chance you may indulge in teenage sex which generally occur after teenage love or sometimes without any love. Generally, major impacts and risk of teenage sex occurs over girl. So, I will like to focus this article over

girl. Here are some facts that I want you to acknowledge: i. If you involve in teenage sex even due to teenage love you regret about it later because teenage love generally dont last long. You may feel regret of losing virginity for the person who dont care you. This will only make you depressed, you may lose your confidence and generally you wont feel that much of dignity like you used to feel previously before having sex. Best way to prevent unwanted pregnancy and STDs like HIV-AIDS, syphilis, gonorrhea, herpes etc is to be away from sex. Contraceptive devices that are available today are

ii.

also not 100% efficient. So, even though you adopt preventive method while having sex, you wont be 100% safe from STDs and unwanted pregnancy. iii. If you are a girl and if you become pregnant then can you face the bad criticism and comments of the society? Even if you managed to resist and ignore the society, it will be very hard to ignore your own feelings and thoughts of regret and self hatred. You have to face severe depression and sadness. You may not even get the support of your family at that time, when you need it the most.

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You may think that you can undergo abortion, which means to kill your own baby. Do you know that even the mother- animal wont kill her own baby? Imagine how much selfhatred, regret, and problem you will face at that time? And generally underage abortion is very risky, so you may not be able to give birth to child again or breathe again after abortion. If you want to give birth to the baby then next big question is how can a child can give birth to another child and take care of it? Not only you but also your child have to bear risks and your child may not be healthy. After giving birth to that child you have to commit yourself to take care

v.

and support that child for more than next 16 years. You may not be able to build your career and fulfill your many dreams. You can imagine how hard it will be to grow a child by a being single parent. Or look around the widow women and her children and observe the difficulty of their life due to lack of her husband. vi. It dont matter if you are a boy or girl but if you have already engaged in sex then there will be high chances that you will again engage in more sexual activity. Because after involvement in sex for the first time you will feel more confident and encouraged to involve in next time. And more you involve in such kind of teenage sex, the more you

will have to face risk of STDs infection and teen pregnancy. vii. This is the age of digital media like camera, video-camera etc. and if anyone became able to capture the photo or video of you while involving in sex and if he/she upload it over the internet then within a minutes that photo or video will be accessible through every nook and corner of the world. In such condition can you imagine what will happen to your dignity, self-respect, social status and your familys reputation? Can you face the comments and criticism from the society? You may even be victim of cyber-bullying and black-mailing.

viii. One very important fact that you need to realize is that you dont need to have sex with your lover to show that you love him/her. Especially for girl, if your boyfriend tries to blackmail you by saying, If you love me then have sex with me. Otherwise I will dump you. then in such case you should easily understand that he does not truly love you. If he had truly loved you then he would have respected your opinion and he would have happily waited to have sex until marriage. Another thing you should know is that the world is occupied by more than 7 billion people. So dont feel sad to dump the boyfriend who doesnt truly love you. Sometimes

good things fall apart so better things can fall together. -Marilyn Monroe Realize these above mentioned facts and dont engage in sexual activity prior to marriage. Instead you can engage in safe sexual behviour like masturbation. Below I will like to mention a trick which can help you to control your sexual arousal or sexual imagination, if you do it in right way. For that just try to inhale air up to 10 seconds, try to store that air or stop your breathing for up to 10 seconds and finally try to exhale the air up 10 seconds. Remember that you dont have to inhale, store or exhale the air exactly for up to 10 seconds but try to do up to how much as you can

by counting the number of seconds silently inside your mind. Repeat this process until your mind is finally diverted away from sexual arousal or imagination.

NOTE:- If the facts mentioned in this chapter matches to your personal life then I would like to apologize for it. My intention is not to hurt you but I am trying to prevent the other teenager from facing the same problem which you have faced.

Chapter: 15 Sexual Abuse and Bullying

Sexual abuse also known as molestation, is the forcing of undesired sexual behaviour by one person upon another. The offender is referred to as a sexual abuser or molester Sexual abuse can happen to both male and female. Sexual abuse is the harsh process done by stronger one to weaker one in which the abuser can also be family members like father, uncles or cousin, relatives, neighbours, friends and stranger. In addition to direct sexual contact, child sexual abuse also occurs when an adult engages in indecent exposer (of the genitals, female nipples) to a child with a intent to gratify their own sexual desires or to intimidate or groom the

child, asks or pressures a child to engage in sexual activities, displays pornography to a child or uses a child to produce child pornography. Effects of child sexual abuse may include self guilt and self blame, nightmares, fear of things, depression, suicidal ideation, mental illness and flashbacks. One can go against the abuser legally. So, if you are a victim then go against the abuser legally as far as you can. Your this step can motivate other victims to go against the abuser and can also discourage such devil minded abuser to repeat their animal like behaviour. If you are a victim of sexual abuse then dont feel bad about yourself, its not your fault. Its the fault of that abuser and you should make him/her to pay for his/her deed legally as far as you can.

Remember sexual abuse can happen to anyone and it is not good to face that problem by hurting or killing yourself. Just believe that God has chosen you to face that situation because you are stronger and extraordinary than other. Dont make yourself weaker by hurting yourself. Remember, Special things happens to special people Use your problem to make yourself stronger and be the source of motivation to other who have faced the same situation and moreover try to prevent other from facing that situation. Problem are there to make us stronger not to destroy us Ignore the naysayer, because people who cant do themselves says you cant do. Ignore the people who negatively criticize you because they are internally jealous of your bravery and courage that allowed you to face the problem.

Ignore the people who tries to lower your confidence and dignity because they want you to become ordinary like them, as they cant withstand the fact, that you have become extraordinary. Remember, A successful man is one who lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him -David Brinkley If you are having very difficult to live a normal life after sexual abuse then take the help from rehabilitation center, counsellor, psychologist or institution working for child welfare for solution and help. Remember that there is always solution to every problem. And there is always better way to do everything.

Bullying

Bullying is a form of aggressive behaviour, which may manifest as abusive treatment, the use of force or coercion to affect others, particularly when habitual and involving an imbalance of power. Bullying consists of three basic types of abuse i.e. emotional, verbal and physical. It generally involves subtle methods of coercion such as intimidation. Bullying can manifest in relationship, household, school, friends, workplace and so on. Teasing and giving someone extreme negative criticism so that it hurts that person is also a type of bullying. Below I have mentioned some ways to face bullying: i. Bullying generally happens to that person who is living in fear, guilt, grief or shame. If you are the one who is living with such things, then

ii.

remove them from your mind and body. If you lack something which other posses then admit that fact. And if you can improve your present condition then improve it otherwise let it go. Live fearlessly and be mentally stronger because there is no point of being sad, depressed and tensed. Being sad and depressed will only makes situation more and more worse. So that, try to face the problem, win over it and try to reduce its influence from you. Life is a choice. You can choose to be victim or anything else you like to be Remember, even great people are not perfect in this world. Everyone has their own set of imperfection. And everyone has their own set of special and unique quality. Find out your quality and potentiality and utilize that quality properly. For

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example, if you have a hole in your garden which should be filled by mud. But if you only posses sand then it will be far better to fill that hole with sand than letting it unfilled and being sad over it. So, try to utilize what you have and use it to fulfill what you dont have. Avoid the bullies from being around you as far as you can. Everyone in this world deserves better if they do better things. So, dont fear to dump and ignore those people who try to hurt your feelings. Protect your feeling and dream with the strong shield of confidence, courage, dignity and self worth. Dont let anyone to break you and your dream.

Now, lets talk about cyber bullying. Nowadays use of social

networking site is increasing all over the world and even in the country like ours. Due to various mistake of people, cyber bullying and cyber crime is increasing day by day. I am going to show you a true story relating to cyber bullying: Amanda Todd is a Canadian teenage girl who had suicide by hanging herself in 2012 A.D at the age of 16 due to cyber bullying. Lets see how this happened, according to the video which Todd had posted in youtube before few days of her suicide, that when she was in grade 7 she used to do video-chat to meet new people over the Internet and she used to receive compliments on her looks. One day a stranger convinced Todd to bare her breasts on camera. The individual later blackmailed her with the threats to expose the topless photo to her friends unless she gave a show. In her

video she told that later she began to use drugs and alcohol. Even though she had changed her school, after three years the individual reappeared creating a Facebook profile, using that topless image as the profile image. That individual contacted with her classmates and teachers at her new school and unveiled many things related to Todd. Again Todd was teased by friends even after changing school. She told that she was even physically attacked and insulted by her classmates and friends. She tried to kill herself by drinking bleach but was unsuccessful. She began to engage in self mutilation and she even overdosed antidepressant and was hospitalized for two days. At last due to extreme disappointment and failure of all attempt to kill herself, she hanged herself at her home.

If you want to know more about her and her video then do a google search writing her name. If you can then, also try to find more about cyber bullying. So, if you are parent then aware your children about this. If you are someone elses elder brother or sister then make your younger one aware about this before it becomes too late. Always remember, Prevention is better than cure.

Chapter: 16 Depression
Depression is the state of low and aversion that can have a negative effect on persons thoughts, feeling, worlds view and physical well being. Depression has no age limit and can occur to all age group. But in this chapter I am going to discuss about teenage depression. Some symptoms of teen depression are: i. Sadness or hopelessness. ii. Decrease in self esteem. iii. Being less inactive. iv. Feeling worthless and thinking noone cares. v. Spending more time alone. vi. Decrease in desire to do the things that were used to be fun once.

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Sleeping problems, imbalance in appetite and headache. viii. Paying no attention in class, degradation in grades and staying away from school. ix. Wanting to run away from home. x. One may feel like crying, dejected and cannot concentrate on things. xi. Feeling irritated, unloved and anxious. xii. One may feel that s/he is the unlucky person in the world. xiii. One Wants to suicide or hurt him/herself. xiv. Involvement in abusive substances. These are some symptoms of depression. But some symptoms are normal during teenage period due to hormonal change, change in thinking style and du to increase in stress. In teenage period it is normal that you may feel sad one day, happy another day,

lonely other day and so on. But also try to find out the root cause of such sadness, loneliness, unhappiness etc in time and try to solve the root cause before it takes the form of depression. Whereas, symptoms like wanting to attempt suicide or to hurt oneself shouldnt be taken lightly. But if these kinds of above mentioned symptoms occur on you for more than two weeks then you should try to get special treatment or counseling. Some major causes of depression are mentioned below: i. Bullying or harassment at school or somewhere else Bullying is the process in which stronger or powerful one tries to hurt weaker one. And harassment means to hurt people or make them feel unpleasant. The best way to prevent bullying and harassment is to maintain

distance from those people who gets involved in such activity. If it doesnt work then take the help of teacher or helpful adults as far as you can. Otherwise ignore such people. Lets see an example of it: During the time Gautam Buddha, one man became very jealous about the name and fame of Buddha. So, he went to meet Buddha, at that time Buddha was meditating. So, he scolded, yelled and used worse word at Buddha. After sometime Buddha opened his eyes but that man was surprised to see calm and peaceful behaviour of Buddha. So, he said, Although I scolded and shouted at you, why are you so peaceful and calm? And Buddha replied If someone wants to give you a gift but if you ignore that gift, who will be the owner of that gift? That gift will certainly be of the same person who wants to give it to you, wont it be? So, I also just ignored your entire gift.

Hearing this that man started to feel regret and asked for forgiveness with Buddha. So, sometimes ignoring other can be great way to avoid other to harm you. ii. Child abuse-both physical and sexual Child abuse can leaves the long-term marks in the growing brain of teenager. It may cause one to feel anxious, irritated and hopeless. To face this kind of situation one shouldnt feel guilt due to abuse especially sexual abuse. Best thing you can do to solve it is take the help of trustful and responsible adult and expert. iii. Unsuccessful relationship and family problem Family problem can also cause depression which includes divorce or separation of parents, being or

feeling uncared or unloved by parents and death of parents. Sometimes breakup from ones boyfriend, girlfriend or best friend can also cause depression. If you are the one facing this kind of problem then you can request your parents or friends to stop doing the things that is hurting you. If it doesnt work then accept that condition. You cant make someone to love you or others. So, just forget about such relation if you cant do anything about it, but dont hold the feeling of hatred or revenge over them. These kinds of feeling wont let you forget them and move forward. But if one deserves a legal punishment then go for it. Hate is like acid. It can damage the vessel in which it is stored and destroy the object on which it is poured -Ann Landers

To improve the situation, you can start to be with those who loves, cares and respects you. Dont worry to leave who dont matter, remember this world is like a ocean and if you are unable to get one fish, then you can try to have another. iv. High ambition

It is true that we should set high ambition but we shouldnt underestimate about the dedication that is required to fulfill that ambition. Generally at this teenage period, one wants to become everything. Whenever one sees singer, dancer, movie stars, politician and athletes either in real or T.V then he/she wants to be same like them. If you are one of them, then this is because you may not have any aim which truly matches your desire and feeling. And because when you see such people you

can only see their success, fame and achievement but you dont see their sacrifice, dedication, weakness and hard work and you only desire to be famous. When these kinds of dream, where you have underestimated the dedication, dont get fulfilled then you will end up being depressed. What you should remember is that there is thousands of ways to contribute to this world and get famous. Just choose a specific field which you truly desire, which makes you happy and which you are passionate about. Then try to get expert on that specific field. But dont think that perfection and faultlessness as the things which can be achieved, just take it as a direction to move forward and become better. While moving forward, dont get afraid and depressed of various limitation and obstacles.

Everyone faces challenges in life. And what matters the most is how you learn to overcome them and use them to your advantage v. Being unsatisfied with oneself. In this world no-one is perfect. Many dont realize this fact and get unsatisfied with oneself. Generally teenagers are unsatisfied because they want to have all round development and perfection. They may be unsatisfied with their study, economy, appearance, family relation and so on, because they compare themselves with others. And what other generally do is, they try to hide their problems and weakness, which makes them to appear faultless and perfect. So, dont compare yourself with others. If you are one of them who is unsatisfied with oneself then look around the world there are vast number

of things and all are important on their own place. Can you compare farmer and shopkeeper? No. They are completely different to each other but also they are contributing. And each of their contribution is very important to run this world in a balanced way. Similarly in your room there may be various things like chair, bed, table etc. Each of them are different and cant be compared on any basis with each other. It is the human nature to see other luckier and oneself unluckier. Realize this fact and dont compare yourself with others. Why compare yourself with others? No one in this entire world can do better job of being you than you In life dont worry about what you dont have, be thankful for what you have. If you think more about what

you dont have then you will forget about what you do have. You are precious, wonderful and unique as way you are. God has brought you in this world with a hope that someday you will be able to change the world not to change yourself. Dont try to be others but be the original version of yourself. Utilize whatever you have, to bring positive change in others life. This will certainly gives you immense happiness. vi. Loneliness

Many people feel lonely due to lack of friends or family members. But during teenage period one generally feels lonely due to lack of lover or opposite sex, who they like. It is normal and happens to most. At teenage year your sexual organs starts to mature, different hormones are released and your

brain starts to think differently. So, you get attracted to opposite sex. Stressing too much about this kind of feeling is not the good idea. You can reduce such loneliness by enhancing your relation with parents, good friends and by not living alone too much. Make yourself busy in the hobby or other creative work which you like the most. Just appreciate for what you have and try to enjoy with whatever you have. Major consequences of depression. Study has found that girls are twice more likely to get depression than boys. But boys who get depression are twice more likely to suicide or get involved in abusive substances than girls. Two major consequences of depression are:i. Use of abusive substances

Many teenagers even adult get involved on drugs, alcohol and smoking due to depression. You should be clear that use of abusive substances wont solve your any problems. Depression is the one problem you already have and use of such substances will only add another problem. Although you may feel high and pleasured due to its use but after its affects wears off, you again have to face the same problem. If you become unsuccessful then dont degrade yourself more by taking such abusive substances. But try to improve yourself and move more upward by facing and solving the root cause of the problem which made you unsuccessful. ii. Suicide or self mutilation If you are depressed then you may feel hopeless, sad and

worthless. Sometimes situation may get too much worse and in such case thoughts of suicide or self mutilation may pop into your mind. And if you dont solve the depression in time then your thought can happen in your real life. One thing you should remember is that hurting yourself or doing suicide wont solve your problem. But instead it will only affect you and people around you. You wont be even remembered for that much long. Before hurting yourself realize that how many plants and animals have sacrificed to feed you and to make your life comfortable. Realize how much your parents and your relatives have sacrificed their needs to fulfill your needs and to grow you up. All of them have hoped you to be better person or at least live your life fully. Is it fair to break their

hope like a glass and tell me is it fair to make their sacrifice worthless, is it? Dont always expect others to help you. Many times in life you yourself have to help yourself. God will only helps to those who helps themselves. Even though if everyone around you dont believe in you. But, Mother Nature is always hoping for your contribution, thats why she brought you in this world and thats why you are living every bit of seconds till now. She has given everyone unique feature and unique purpose, and you should identify that purpose and try to fulfill it by utilizing whatever you have been given. Even though, how hard you fall on the ground there are always ways to recover and grow again. For, example if your house is in fire then instead of jumping in that fire and killing yourself, you should try to throw as much

water as you can to save your house from burning more. And try to build more better house than previous house from what you left after that fire. Moreover you can even work to prevent the others house from fire. Remember, if you try then only you can win. If you dont try then you will never win. Dont waste your precious life Gold cant but only coal can change itself into diamond after facing extreme pressure and pain. So, realize your value, potential and dont allow the pain to destroy you but use it as a fuel to motivate you to become better. Way to handle and solve the stress.

It is always best to solve the problem in time than to be victim of that problem later. The very best way to treat depression (stress that last for more than 2 weeks) is to visit the expert or psychologists. Some simple ways by which you can manage and solve your stress are: i. Sharing the feeling, your problems and condition to someone whom you trust (especially who can encourage you) can help you reduce burden of problem, inner pain and sadness. ii. Another thing you can do is write down all your problem, limitation and cause of disappointments on the piece of paper. Then dispose that paper in dustbin, fire or river. And think that your entire problem

has gone away with that piece of paper you disposed. And try to be relaxed and hopeful for something good. iii. Reading inspiring books, biography and self help books can help you a lot to feel better. In todays society one of the major causes of teen depression is prevalence of media. Thats why people in the past werent too much depressed like today but also you can ask the good adult person about how was their teenage life. These above mentioned way only help you to solve your problem externally. Some major ways to solve problem from its root are: i. For this try to write the cause of depression on a piece of paper. Just write down whatever thoughts comes into your mind until you

ii.

finally find true and deeper root cause of depression. Next thing you have to do is try to find out the best solution to the problem. You can even take the help of adult to find and accomplish your solution. One thing you have to understand is that solution of some problem requires a right time and right condition to get accomplished. In such cases dont lose hope nor get sad. Just try to change your mentality and thinking attitude to make yourself wait for right time and right condition. There is a saying, You cant find the leather to cover whole earth but you can find leather to cover your foot. Next thing you can do is give yourself the autosuggestion and face the situation of which you are afraid of, at least within your mind. For example autosuggest yourself by

saying, I am becoming better and better. I am being able to solve..(name of problem).. I dont fear doing ..(name of thing that you fear to do) and so on. Just think positively with clear mental image and think in a way that you have already achieved it. Repeat this type of autosuggestion as much as you can. Here I will like to show you how autosuggestion works. When you imagine about sweet dish, saliva will automatically comes into your mouth and when you think about sex you will automatically get sexually aroused. This is because our sub-conscious mind cannot differentiate between real and imaginary things. So, when you autosuggest yourself of being something even though you havent become in real life. Then your sub-

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conscious mind thinks it as a real and reinforces that thing to happen in real life. Next thing which you can do is face the problem mentally. Just imagine how you solved the problem that you fear of, imagine how you won over that problem and imagine what kind of positive change has been brought into your life after winning over the problem. Athletes visualize 1000s of times before they step on the track. Theyve already won. Other people just dont know it yet List out the things or good quality that you have. And think how can you utilize these things and use them for your advantage. Think how you can fulfill the needs of those things which you dont have by utilizing the things which you have. Repeat this many times. And at last dont only limit those thought inside

your mind but work hard to make it happen in real life. Try to acknowledge the fact I have mentioned in this chapter and improve your life. Life is a choice. So, always make right and positive choice. Dont let your problems to limit you but work harder to limit your problems and finally reduce such problems.

Chapter: 17 Facts Behind Stage

Every artist was first an amateur -Ralph Waldo Emerson Isnt this above mentioned quote right? Yes, it is. Every great person of this world were all borne naked like everyone else. What makes them different from ordinary people is the hours and hours of their dedications and efforts, they applied to enhance their craft and skill. I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I cant accept not trying. -Michael Jordan Our greatest glory is not in never failing but in rising every time we fail. -Conficius Failure is not falling down, but refusing to get back up. -Deamsian Wisdom

From above mentioned quotes you can see how great people views the failure. Great people are persistent to do the things that they want to do. They regard failure as something very important to get success. In order to succeed you must fail, show that you know what not to do next time. -Anthony J.D Angelo I havent failed. Ive found 1000s ways that dont work. -Thomas Edison, when inventing the first commercial light bulb. Ordinary people regard failure as a source of sadness and disappointments. But great people regard failure as a source to learn something and to get inspired to do more better next time. You may have role model and you may also try to copy way they dress, way they enjoy their life and way they use expensive products.

But real things what brought them there are not those things. Real thing that made them successful is their dedication, effort and attitude. You may say, I am also persistent and I practice a lot. But remember: Only perfect practice makes man perfect. This is the age of science and technology and you should try to utilize everything in a proper and efficient way. Try to use each seconds of your practice period in a best way it can be used. Remember, it is not necessary to make mistake in order to learn something. But it is necessary to learn from others mistake. To be successful you should be specific. Find out what do you truly want to do and give your most effort to that field, and then only you can excel in that field and solve even the toughest problem. For example, the laser beam is even able to cut steel because its all energy

is focused in single point. Whereas, a ordinary light bulb cant because it lacks single focus. Avoid wasting your time on things that doesnt matter. Always remain motivated to do the things that you truly want. Because you will be able to learn the things in an efficient and effective way when you are motivated. Make studying a life time habit. Although great people like Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Abraham Lincoln etc didnt attended higher level of formal education. But they adopted studying as habit and tried to learn from the mistakes of others. Great people reads books from various philosopher, great authors, expert related to their field and they accepts the suggestion of others if it is truthful. And great people enjoy becoming better and improving themselves.

Great people dreams big and try to challenge their own previous records. Limitations are the things which we ourselves creates. Always think positively. Always dream of being successful. Never ever think in a negative way. In life only positive thoughts can attracts the positive results. He who say he can and he who say he cant are both actually right.- Confucius So, next time when you see your role model dont only try to watch him/her externally. Dont only look at what he/she is right now but try to find out his/her story of struggle and try to find out what he/she used to be. Dont get afraid to go against the crowd if you are right. Remember, Diamond is a piece of charcoal that handled stress exceptionally well

Chapter: 18 Five Major Mistakes by Teen

In this chapter I am going to describe about five major mistakes which can occur in teenage and can effect throughout the life time. i. Using drugs, alcohol and cigarette Life is meant to live happily and fully. But these kinds of poison can affect you throughout the life time and can even cause premature death. Remember, in life everything happens for the first time. Your first try will lead to second try; your second try will lead to third and so on. Who knows your single dose of drugs, your single glass of alcohol or single puff of smoke can make you addict person.

So, dont ever give a try to such worthless and disgusting tasks, not even for the first time. ii. Skipping school and ignoring to work hard. Although you may not like to do degree but you should at least attend school for up to basic level. So, that you can learn basic language i.e. Nepali and English, solve basic math problem and understand basic reasons and laws of science. But you should make studying and learning as a lifetime habit. You dont need to get higher level of formal education to get success, if self study is your habit. World is continuously changing, your time is continuously reducing day by day and competition is continuously increasing. To withstand this condition self study can help you a lot.

Next thing you shouldnt forget is to struggle. You should work hard and struggle to make your future better, either by studying up to higher level of education or by learning some kind of technical skills you like and at last utilize them to earn money. You should realize that main purpose of formal education is also to earn money. So, if you dont want to study after basic level, then dont hesitate to work outdoor or learn other skills. But make self study a life time habit. Leaders are readers Econoimist, Barry Asmus iii. Not being truly who you are. Have you ever heard of a factory that manufacture human being? Certainly, not. We human are created by nature so we are different

from each other. We arent made by factory to be similar. We are different to be better than anyone who has ever born before and to do the thing that no-one has done before. You cant compare Steve Jobs, Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg with each other. You cant compare Sir Issac Newton, Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawkins with each other. And you cant compare Mother Teresa, Abraham Lincoln and Mahatma Gandhi with each other, can you? No, you cant. All of them are different thats why all of them contributed in this world in a different way to make this world a better place to live. Everyone, even you in this world carries a true potential to be successful and your potential is trying to come out through some means. So, find out the means(it can be your aim or goal)

that you like and enjoy the most and give your best effort to accomplish it. iv. Marrying and being parent at early age Some teenager when get in love, they start to think that marriage as the only way to institutionalize their love. So, they marry without being physically, mentally and financially ready. Moreover when they give birth to child, they not only destroy their career but also affect the future of their child. You should understand that marriage is not like love, which can be broken anytime. You may say I can do divorce. But is it good to you marry with the hope of doing divorce? Marriage is not the things to try, its the needs. Marriage is the life time commitment to share happiness, joy,

sadness and accept each others imperfection. And marriage requires not only love but also financial support and all round well being to get successful. So, change your mentality before it is too late. v. Listening to peer and ignoring adult. I have already mentioned that teenagers listen to their peer because they share same kind of view, mentality, desire and problem. As, bird with same feather fly together. But listening to your friend all the time and accepting all their views is not right. For example, when your friend suggest you to try a cigarette, to buy expensive dress, to help them to fight with other group and so on? Do, you need to accept those things? Probably not, such activities are just waste of time, money and many more. And such things dont matter in the

future but can only give you regret and pain. Next thing you have to do is accept the adult. Adult people are more experienced than you, they knows how the world run and can show you the right paths. But you dont need to accept all the things of adult. Adult people are generally conservative and see risk on trying new things. As time is progressive and world is always changing, so dont always listen to adult sometimes listen to yourself. Dont ignore the basic and true facts which adult says. Remember, we should take suggestion from various sources but listen to our own self. These above mentioned are only some mistake that can occur in your life. There are many mistakes which can affect your life. So, to make right decision in such

conditions you can take help from experienced people, books or even Internet.

Chapter: 19 Learn to Say NO

Saying NO is very important. You may think saying no is not good. But I am talking about saying no to those people who are bad or to those things which you dont like or which is not good. Although there are implication of saying no but there are even more implication of saying yes to those things which can make you feel unsatisfied, sad and which can make you bad person. For example, if you say yes to those things that you dont like then you are saying no to those things you like. If you say yes to bad things then you are saying no to good things. If you say yes to other people then you are saying no to your family, parents and good friends who matters the most.

Generally teenagers are rebellious. Freedom seeking and they cant make right decision. If your peer ask you to try smoking a cigarette and if you say yes to him/her then you have to face many problems. If tomorrow is your exam and if one of your friends ask you to go for a party. And if you say yes to that friend then you may fail in exam. So, is it good to say yes in these kinds of condition? Certainly it isnt. In this world not only teenager but some adult people are also bad who may use you for their benefit by destroying your future. So, saying no is very important and you should learn to say it. Below are the some ways to say no: i. You can directly say no to those things which you dont like. Although it may feel weird at first but after

ii.

iii.

iv.

sometime you will feel easy to say no. You can give no reply. Sometimes no reply means you are rejecting and ignoring it. If you dont want your friends to feel bad then you can say no together with reason, for why you dont want to do that. You should realize that although saying no can make your friend feel bad. But you should also know that when you are happy then only you can make others to feel happy. In this world there are many people who want others to do their work. And you cant say yes to all those. If you say yes then you will only get buried inside the responsibility and you wont be able to fulfill your true dream. Sometimes anxious, rude or drunk person can ask you to do things which

you dont like. In such case just tell them Ok or I will do it. But after you get out of that situation you dont need to do it in real. Remember, lying for good reason is also good. v. At last, if nothing works then it is better to be away from those people who requests or command too much to do the things which you dont like. To be able to say No you should have clear vision, you should be able to separate what is wrong and what is right. Just feel normal to say No, it is the thing that many people say daily in their life.

Chapter: 20 Are you a materialistic person

First of all lets be clear about who is materialistic person. Materialistic person is the one who gives more and more priority to posses material goods in order to increase the level of selfworth and happiness. Now, do you think buying latest goods and material without any need (or without having any good reason) can make you happy? Well, if yes, then you are too much far away from real truth. If possession of more material was able to increase the level of happiness, then people at present should be more happier than in the past, shouldnt they? According to your opinion, yes they should be. But in reality people in the past were more happier than today are. Even though at this present time

our life and environment is highly occupied by material goods, than it was ever in the past. But research has shown that level of happiness of todays people is either equal to or less than that of people in the past. One condition which you have to remember is that: generally, material possession cant make you truly happy unless it helps to fulfill basic needs. So, you may think that, if material possession doesnt gives true happiness then why all people are desiring or trying to posses more material goods. Reason behind this is attractive advertisement. In advertisement attractive models or iconic figures are used to show that buying certain products will make one more happier and enhance his/her life quality and standard. So, every time one sees advertisement of latest material he/she tends to have inner desire to buy that product even though his/her current model of material is helping

him/her to fulfill his/her basic needs. Do you think that who dont see/hear the advertisement of a product wants to buy that product unless needed? Another thing is materialistic person generally runs after money because money helps them to fulfill their desire of buying more or latest products. For materialistic people possessing latest things make them feel good and better. But in market new and latest things always keep on coming. So, to maintain the level of happiness and level of self worth and confidence they needs to keep on buying more and more new things that comes in the market. They needs to continually keep on buying new things (its also a kind of addiction and such people feel less worthy, incomplete or unhappy when they becomes unable to buy the new material or spend their money). Thats why materialistic

people tends to be suffered from debt, stress and unhappiness. Another fact is that normally material happiness lasts only for 6-12 weeks. Material things can make you happy for a while or it can give a quick fix for your unhappiness. Perhaps you might have experienced how much happy it feels when you buy new things and it is also true that for some days that thing will make you feel excited and happy. But later you will lose all your interest from it and you start to feel bore with it (unless it is updated). And again you need to buy new thing to make you feel good. Its like low class person wanting to live the life of middle class person and even after being middle class person he/she wants to live the life of more higher class person and so on. In this way, cycle continues. So, if only possessing more material dont give true happiness then

what will? Well research has shown that experiential possession can make one more happy. Experience can give one lasting and true happiness. Experience can be shared with other people and people show interest and feel good when you share it. Whereas, people dont show interest to hear about your latest material possession. For example when you go to tour, then experience and memories of tour can be shared with other people and you can again recall the feelings of happiness and excitement while sharing the memories of your tour. Whereas sharing about what type of material you posses generally make people to feel bored. Experience can also be again remembered at some point of life and can again make you happy. Experience too helps to foster social relationships. Because generally we go to visit new places or experience new things, together with other

people: Which can be your friends, family members etc. Thats why one doesnt need to be richer for being happy whereas being rich cant guarantee one for having true happiness. Remember it dont matter even if you are just able to fulfill your basic needs or if you are millionaire the level of happiness dont differ much or sometimes can even be equal. Research even shows that community having more amounts of parks, place to visit and entertaining activities contains more amounts of happy citizens. Moreover sharing things with people, travelling or enjoying together with someone, gaining knowledge on the things you like, fostering relationship, pursuing your passion and giving some kind of help or treat to someone can give you inner sense of happiness and satisfaction. And

donating in charity of your choice can also make you to feel satisfied and better. On the other hand, more material you posses the more fear (of losing your possession) arises. Thats why it is said money can make one rich but cant give guarantee of making him/her wealthy. Whereas it dont matter how much memories of experiences, knowledge and enjoyment you posses you dont have to fear of losing it. It will always stay with you until you die. So, dont worry even if you are not well off to buy expensive material. Dont think that owning latest material can make you happy. Learn to be happy in whatever things you have. It is better to invest your time or money in experiencing new things, fostering relation with family and people you like, doing things you are passionate about and helping others than

to gather unnecessary or unwanted materials.

Final Words
I have presented you some of the major teen issues. Some of the facts in this book may sounds unreal to you but it is real. I know, I havent presented many things to you. But in life answers of many things, are to be searched by we ourselves. With the advancement of science and technology challenge and problem is increasing daily. But thanks to the Internet, now you can find solution to various problems and challenges over Internet. Make a habit of gathering knowledge and applying them. Stay up to

date with the help of news and learn to change and move with time.