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Whenever someone asks me what I’m doing in school, I tell them that I’m
going to be a high school English teacher. I get one of two reactions: “Wow, you’re
going to be a good teacher!” or “Why in the name of all that is good would you do that?”
A few years ago, the thought of my becoming a teacher was not completely farfetched. It
was sitting in the back of my mind as a sort of backup plan. I always told people that I
would become a teacher after I made my millions and could afford to put a fountain soda
however, I realized that the millions I wanted weren’t worth wasting years of my life as
… well whatever it is you do to make millions of dollars. I have some innate desire to
help people, some mad hope that I can actually make a difference in the world. My blind
optimism and oftentimes fantastical hopes lend themselves not to the rigors and standards
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I was born a reader. Whenever I wasn’t playing baseball, I had a book in my
hand. This was in part thanks to the fact that while I was in first grade, my mother
became a fifth grade teacher in the same school. After school I would wait for my mom
to finish her work and I would do my homework or read. My mom’s school library
recommendation and have them finished within the week. This became the routine until
sixth or seventh grade when the actual academics of school became secondary for me. I
was too busy hanging out with friends or playing sports to really bother with the
formalities of school. I was still a good student but the time and effort was simply not
worth it to me.
I graduated from middle school and decided to attend Notre Dame Catholic
School in Fairfield, CT. ND was about a fifteen minute drive from my home and had
students from all over the state. Upon entering I was placed in the High Honors classes, a
set of classes that included Latin, Spanish, and (eventually) physics and calculus. This
was the first time in my life I was truly challenged in school. I had what we high honors
kids called the triumvirate—a group of three teachers we would have for two years. The
triumvirate were widely known as the most difficult teachers in the school. The first two
years of high school were some of the most stressful times I have had in my educational
The hardest of the triumvirate was undoubtedly Mr. Reidy. Doubling as the
Dean of Discipline, Mr. Reidy was the embodiment of Theodore Roosevelt’s decree of
“speak softly and carry a big stick.” An extremely soft-spoken, grandfatherly man, Mr.
Reidy would assign papers on the same day as tests, followed by a memorized speech, all
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with a gentle smile on his face. The thing that I did like about Mr. Reidy and his
curriculum however were his rhetoric papers. We were assigned papers based on ideas—
spatial arrangements, comparisons, etc. The topic was left completely up to the students
but we had to follow the assigned rubric. This is the first time I actually enjoyed writing.
It was not a question of needing to write this paper but rather wanting to write this paper.
I wrote liberally about music and sports, two of my greatest passions, and was given one
of the highest compliments when Mr. Reidy remarked on two of my papers to the entire
class. At the time of course, I shrugged off the compliment to ensure my cool factor was
still intact, but inside I was soaring. I had enjoyed writing those papers and was actually
Despite the onerous amount of work, I really enjoyed high school. ND had
become not only a school for me but more like a second home. I played soccer and
lacrosse, had friends from all over the state, and grew to have a great relationship with
many of my teachers. One of those teachers (and member of the triumvirate) was Mrs.
Chilet. A raucous laughter seemed to follow her wherever she went. Whether it was her
resounding laughter or that of the student she had deemed her guinea pig for the day did
not matter—it was contagious. Mrs. Chilet quickly became my favorite teacher, the irony
being that she was my Spanish teacher. I was well known for my complete aversion and
seeming inability to learn the language. Despite this odd coupling, I grew to love going
to Spanish class (for the first and only time in my life) because there were many times I
was left in tears from laughing so hard. I took to going to Mrs. Chilet’s room while
waiting for soccer or lacrosse practice to begin. I wasn’t going for extra help or to score
brownie points but because I actually enjoyed spending time with her. During these
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times, I actually enjoyed school. I really feel like my work and my desire to do work was
became a blur. I finished all my work, got good enough grades but don’t truly remember
anything I learned. The academics again took a backseat to my social life. My time in
calculus and physics was spent planning for the night’s activities or that weekend’s road
trip. Even my English classes were spent with only cursory attention. I did what I had to
do to get through the year and get to the things I really liked—friends, family, hockey
games (we won the state championship my senior year). While my fellow classmates
stressed to no end about their college applications and essays, I quietly sat in the corner
with a smile on my face—life was (and is) too good to worry that much. I ended up
It took me all of an hour to write, correct, and print my essay. I was accepted to all six
Connecticut.
My parents, older brother, aunt, uncle, and cousin all came to the University of
Connecticut and it was a seemingly forgone conclusion I would come here. This is one
of the few stereotypes I had no problem fulfilling. Coming to UConn, I had all the
obvious problems that most freshmen experience: slight homesickness, the ongoing battle
between books and parties, issues with a roommate. For the most part, I almost never
skipped class and got good grades. What I soon realized about college is that there is a
lot more leniency than I had experienced before. I no longer had a single, all
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Reidy’s rhetoric papers, every paper I had written had been more or less completely pre-
planned. Ideas were stock. Clichés trite. I cannot recall a single paper in which I came
up with a truly original idea during high school. College would soon challenge every
My freshman English class was not only interesting but opened my eyes to the
other side of English class. For as far back as I could remember, every book I had read in
school had been a classic in all sense of the word. They had been awarded countless
literary awards, given critical acclaim, and almost all of them managed bore me. My
freshman English class was the first in which I read a book that would beg the constraints
of all my former classes. Reading the graphic novel V for Vendetta opened my eyes not
only to an entirely new genre of books but also allowed for a true discussion on not just
the plot of the novel but the intricacies of the characters. I began to view characters not
as simply characters but as living, breathing individuals brought to life by the words on
the page. Entire conversations were had about the truest being of V, the masked crusader
in the novel. I spent a week agonizing over a paper, ensuring that I articulated my ideas
about V just the way I wanted to. I quoted liberally from the novel and movie, and
culture in general, in order to fully expound upon my ideas. It was at this moment that I
realized writing a paper wasn’t just about the text I was reading but about the entirety of
culture. Music, movies, and television shows all had something to say about V if I only
looked closely enough to find it. I had realized that literature, more often than not,
cannot be read or understood in a vacuum—it’s speaks to much larger issues than the
plot. It had opened my eyes to not only a new way to read, but I new way to write.
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I’m not sure where or how I learned to write the way I do. I don’t remember a
single instance that said “AHA! I get it now!” Half the time, I feel like it is luck that my
papers turn out well. There are moments when I look up from writing and can barely
remember what I have just written. The words flow and everything just works; it’s at
these moments that writing is almost magical. Donald Murray put it best when he wrote,
“Writers seek what they do not expect to find. Writers are, like all artists, rationalizers of
accident” (Writing 1). Murray manages to capture the complete irrationality of writing in
his phrase “rationalizers of accident”. There isn’t an explanation for the chance of an
accident occurring, nor is there a true explanation for how writing works. Good writers
take whatever is thrown at them and somehow make sense of it. This feeling of surprise
The surprise becomes an addiction for those who feel it. It draws writers back
again and again through the agony of drafting and awful phrasing, grammatical
corrections and poor metaphors. Surprise is the reason all novels are written and enjoyed.
If a book is predictable, it is boring. Donald Murray quotes Robert Frost saying, “No
surprise for the writer, no surprise for the reader” (Writing 2). Writers must lose their
inhibitions and let the ideas flow—regardless of how worried they might be of what gets
written on the paper. A fear of failure is what keeps a lot of people from feeling the
surprise. Writers, young writers especially, are so worried about perfection in their
writing that they do not even risk the chance of writing for themselves. It becomes a
quest for perfection at every turn—an utter impossibility for even the greatest of writers.
irrational and no fun. Writing and golf are meant to be challenging. Without the
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challenge, those little moments—the revolutionary new phrase or the beautiful putt—are
When I’m not in the zone, I write well because I like what I’m writing about. I
think that’s one of the most important parts of writing for me—the subject. If I enjoy
what I’m writing about, I can write for pages upon pages. If I don’t enjoy the subject, the
writing becomes very near painful for me; I complain loud and clear for whomever will
listen that “this is STUPID” (in a much more explicit way of course). There is a reason it
took me less then an hour to write my college essay; I loved my time in Neon. I would
not trade it for anything in the world. I can still remember the songs we listened to on the
fourteen hour ride down. I remember having to wait until the paint my friends and I had
covered each other in was dry so we could get into the van and head home. I can recall
the smell—that sickly, sweet combination of sweat and the morning dew—that coated
everything and everyone. It is those things that arrest our attention, that make us who we
Most kids have enough of an aversion to reading and writing that we as teachers
can’t perpetuate the stereotypes and stigmas that students place on our literature. That’s
what it is: OUR literature. It doesn’t belong just to the author or the era in which it was
written. It must come alive for kids. Students must be able to see why they should be
spending their time reading and writing instead of going on Facebook for the fifteenth
time that day. This onus is placed solely on the shoulders of the teachers; not the
principals, districts, and government but the people that the students see every day. The
tangible person who stands at the front of the classroom and knows the kids by name and
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face, personality and interests is responsible to bring English class alive to these children
This is the charge that we must accept as English teachers. English is the last true
bastion of the self in most schools. The rules of chemistry and geometry govern their
respective classrooms with an iron fist—they cannot be changed, interpreted, or added to.
History has occurred and cannot be changed even if we attempt to read a revisionist
history of it. English is the place where students are asked not to bow to the facts of the
case but make their own. Given a pen and a piece of paper—anything is possible and
read this book, write this paper, get that grade. While structure in a classroom is
necessary, life is not predictable. Predictability breeds boredom and boredom breeds
contempt. There isn’t a guide book for how to live life or how to write. It is a matter of
experience that teaches us how to both live and write. Students need to be allowed to
find their own voice in their writing and the only way to do this is through allowing them
to write. The amorphous term voice is one that is used often but very rarely truly
explained to a young writer or reader. Alfredo Celedon Lujan, when writing about voice,
defines it as the moment “a writer recognizes in her or his prose or poetry a style, tone,
personality, and rhythm that work” (Lujan 43). Students can grow to be comfortable with
their own writing and voice but only after a lot of writing.
This idea is not groundbreaking nor genius but the fact is students aren’t allowed
to write the way they want. Students don’t take risks in their writing because of the fear
of receiving the dreaded “F”. Not only are they afraid of being graded poorly but they
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are scared of being humiliated by saying something wrong in the eyes of the teacher.
There were so many times in high school that I refused to answer a question because I
was afraid of being looked at as dumb only to find out what I was going to say was
completely correct. I held myself in check out of fear of being told I was wrong. I
refused to voice opinions or answer questions and I’m going to be an English teacher! If
I, as a student, was wary to answer questions then how must students who feel no
This disconnect seems to lead to a lack of trust between students and teachers.
Teachers—for the most part—are viewed by students as disciplinarians. Even for me,
Mr. Reidy was viewed for a long time as the dean of students more than as my English
teacher. I spent my freshman year afraid to speak in class out of fear of him (for anyone
that’s met me, the idea of my not speaking is a difficult one to grasp). It wasn’t until
much later that I realized Mr. Reidy wasn’t the dean of discipline when he was in our
class—he was an English teacher, trying to get the best out of us.
The trust between student and teacher has been slowly deteriorating, and that
trust is necessary for students to really take any sort of a risk in their writing. The first
and only time I have ever written a piece of fiction was in Mr. Reidy’s class, and it was
because I had grown so comfortable with him. I wrote a piece called “The Potato from
Heaven”; a story about my great grandfather coming across on The Titanic and how a
small potato he had saved from Ireland saved his life. This was one of the pieces of
writing that he commented on to my whole class and I was especially ecstatic because I
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While I don’t consider myself creative, I have a knack for seeing connections in
literature and culture that many people don’t see. One of my all time favorites—in Mr.
Reidy’s class no less—was seeing a clear connection between a 50 Cent song and
introduction but also allowed my wandering mind to focus full tilt on writing a paper. I
doubt anyone has ever written a paper on Shakespeare while listening to 50 Cent on
repeat. The majority of students will not find Shakespeare interesting (shocking, I know).
It is necessary to allow students to view literature through a lens that interests them.
Whether that lens is a movie, song, or even another book, whatever draws the student into
what they are supposed to read is necessary and should not only be allowed but
encouraged.
The comfort level with Mr. Reidy and my other teachers allowed me to find not
only my voice in writing but who I really was as a person. I had grown comfortable with
who I was and what I thought of myself. The relationships I cultivated with my teachers
in high school not only allowed me to work more freely and efficiently at the time but
still exist. Every time I return to ND, Mr. Reidy asks what I have been reading and how I
like it. Mrs. Chilet—who has since moved back to Colombia—returns occasionally and
asks the other teachers about me. These relationships are part of what I remember from
high school. They helped me through what had been the most difficult academic years of
my life but left me wanting more. I did not want to leave Mrs. Chilet’s class but I knew I
would be better prepared for the subsequent two years of Spanish I was forced to take. I
left not only with a much larger knowledge base but with a feeling that I was actually
capable of speaking and writing Spanish. I left Mr. Reidy’s class with the thought that I
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could actually write—not just write but write well. I had never known these feelings
before. And it never would have happened had I not had these singular relationships with
relationships and my growing maturity—I had found me, I had found my voice. Using
that voice and letting my opinions be known only became a matter of who I wanted to
piss off and whether it was worth it or not. Lil’ Wayne raps in his song “Dr. Carter,”
much more unaware of the grades I was getting and was more willing to take a chance
like the 50 Cent piece I had written. During my junior year of college in an American
Literature course, I wrote a comparison between Batman from The Dark Knight and
Arthur Dimmesdale of The Scarlet Letter. Had I not been comfortable with my own
voice, I would never have been able to tackle something so unique. It is essential to
allow students to work to find their own voice. Whether that voice comes in the form of
poetry or prose, the journey is one that must be allowed to happen. It will not be easy
and it can be exhausting but the final product is worth the effort.
High school students, to say the least, are at a crossroads in life. Every
weekend is the most important of their lives. Every new girlfriend or boyfriend is the
one. Every paper is a waste of time and energy. Students are old enough to think very
intelligently but inexperienced enough to do some of the dumbest things in the world.
This ongoing battle between students’ life inexperience and their own superiority
is doubly important for an English teacher since there is an internal connection to writing
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that doesn’t happen with other subjects. Writing allows an outlet for many students who
previously may not have had one. Pent up teenage rage, angst, and love may all come
For those students that relish in this newfound emotional outlet, their writing
becomes a lens through which they can view the world—a safe haven from the pressures
of the outside world. Students begin to lose that fear, the thing that restricts the free
flowing thoughtful writing that we as teachers so prize from our students. The moment
students begin to write as if they have no fear, these writers are no longer writing for their
teachers or for a grade, but for themselves. Each new sentence and paragraph is another
revelation of a deeper layer they had not before experienced, a newer and more revelatory
me. This kind of writing becomes a prize within itself—a continuing journey toward not
just a perfect phrase but a more perfect understanding of who the writer is.
uncomfortable and unwilling to talk or write about themselves in any way. If we are to
believe that all writing is autobiographical, then students’ writing will ultimately become
extremely personal and possibly life changing (All-67). While a lot of students may lead
so-called normal lives, the reality is that many students may be facing extremely difficult
circumstances in their home lives. Teachers can become privy to information that is
otherwise buried to the rest of the world. This realization and resulting responsibility
places an added onus on English teachers. This added onus is not one that can be taken
lightly or sarcastically but must be seen as an added charge to an already loaded schedule.
Teachers must have an inherent love of what they are teaching. Without this
love, they are simply in the wrong profession. However a love of literature is not enough
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of a reason to become an English teacher nor is abnormal adeptness at calculus enough of
a reason to become a math teacher. There needs to be something more in a teacher that
forces them to strive day after day to get through to a child no matter the circumstances.
Every teacher must have a need, not a desire or a want, but a need to get through to their
students. Without this need, teachers become nothing more than a textbook on feet—a
understand their students, their backgrounds, and their interests. Without this knowledge
teacher with those authors that seem so distant to them. Teachers begin to be seen as an
opposition to the students. Students and teacher stand on opposite sides of a battlefield
littered with desks, boards, and papers. In high school, one of my math teachers had a
of making a mistake but of being wrong; there was no distinction between the two for
him. Within the first two months, he had lost our class. We would not work hard for a
man who refused to listen to us as we argued our case. Had he simply admitted that he
was mistaken, I am sure I would have been more open to listening to him or doing the
homework or even just trying harder. But he didn’t, and I didn’t respect him for it.
Young writers are taught to write for an audience. As teachers, we are forced to
interests, and disinterests are. Armed with this most basic of knowledge, teachers must
tailor their lesson plans in order to reach their students more efficiently. Without any
change or understanding from the teacher, students are left floundering in the mire of
trying to relate to people they have damn near nothing in common with. We are not a
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society of clones—we are multicultural, diverse, and cannot possibly be asked to learn in
I was recently given the opportunity to work with two students from a nearby
high school. We corresponded via e-mail on the books that their respective classes were
reading: Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer and Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck. The
students would be given time during school to write and then e-mail those writings to me
for feedback. My students, two sophomore aged girls, provided me with an extremely
interesting take on English class that I had not expected to get from this opportunity.
Both of my students are recent immigrants to the United States; one is from
Korea and the other from Venezuela. When they first contacted me, both claimed that
English wasn’t their favorite class for two reasons: reading and writing. The language
barrier was one that provided a true test for these students. While they both speak
English well, the actual logistics of the language was a difficult problem for both.
Sentences would come out awkward, commas were overused (to be fair, I still overuse
commas), and most of the papers began as a disaster. Into the Wild began as a burden for
each of these students. They were uninterested and generally uninspired. As they read
egotistical and pretentious (my words, not theirs). As the relationship with Chris is
further and further explored, more and more began to bother my students—his
relationship with his family, his seeming lack of motivation in certain areas, but
McCandless attended and graduated college and then essentially dropped off
the map. He gave away his life savings, stopped talking to his family and began to
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wander the country in an attempt to find himself. The girls were seemingly furious at
McCandless for doing this. I was completely shocked that they were that angry about it
—I couldn’t understand it so I asked them about it. Both went on to tell me that if they
attend college, both would be the first in their families to do so. The seemingly unending
potential that McCandless decides not to explore had sent the girls into a fury. They were
shown someone who had everything but left it all behind to camp in the wilderness of
Alaska. As daughters of immigrants, they both spoke of how hard their parents worked
to get to the United States and get a better life for their families. The experience was eye-
opening in that I had never even thought to look at the book through the eyes of students
like these two girls. They had grown attached to a book not out of interest of it but of
disinterest in it. Chris had become the ultimate villain for these girls and it drew the best
out of them. Their papers were well researched, well thought out, and dripping with ire.
The girls had found common ground in something that they originally thought
they had no way to identify with. Students have to be shown that literature isn’t written
entirely by dead, white men in a language that looks like English but comes out as
anything but. It is a floating, dancing being, dying to get free of its pages and fly through
the heads of those who read it. It is written by African Americans and Latinos, Native
themselves and those in committed relationships. It is in the music we listen to and the
movies we watch. Students have to be exposed to this side of writing; this side that
allows for the magical feeling to happen inside them. Allow them to experiment and try
new things that they’ve never done before. Throw out the five paragraph essay and let
them run wild. Let them write poetry and verse, short stories and stream of
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consciousness. Show them the metaphors, similes, and irony in Bob Dylan lyrics, the
genius of Kanye West’s “Jesus Walks,” and the poetry in the Counting Crows “Mrs.
Potter’s Lullaby”. If the students see the success and joy that can be attained by writing,
Knocking down that first barrier, that complete and utter disdain most kids
have toward literature, is one of the most difficult parts of teaching writing. The wall
cannot be knocked clean down in one fell swoop—it must be chipped away at, bought
and bartered with. A continual journey, from grade to grade, teacher to teacher, until the
moment when the student is no longer an observer of the destruction but an active
participant—swinging for the fences—eager to knock down the last vestiges of the
crumbling wall.
References
The Counting Crows. “Mrs. Potter’s Lullaby.” This Desert Life. Geffein, 1999
Krakauer, Jon. Into The Wild. New York: Anchor Books, 1997
Lil Wayne. “Dr. Carter.” Tha Carter III. Cash Money Records, 2008.
Lujan, Alfredo C.. "The Salem Witch Trials: Voice(s)." What is "College Level" Writing?.
Ed. Patrick Sullivan & Howard Tinberg. Urbana, Illinois: National Council of
Teachers of English, 2006. Print.
Murray, Donald. "Writing and Teaching for Surprise." College English, 4601-1984 1-7.
30 Mar 2009 http://links.jstor.org/
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Nolan, Christopher. “The Dark Knight.” Perf. Christian Bale, Heath Ledger. Warner
Bros., 2008.
Steinbeck, John. Of Mice and Men. Penguin twentieth-century classics. New York, N.Y.,
U.S.A.: Penguin Books, 1994
West, Kanye. “Jesus Walks.” The College Dropout. Roc-a-Fella Records, 2004.
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