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TRAINERS TRAINING ON PARENTS EFFECTIVENESS SERVICE

DAY 1 First Speaker

May 21, 2013 (Tuesday) Ms. Marietta S. Legaspi CSWD Officer

PROGRAM INTRODUCTION Parent Effectiveness Service (PES) is the provision and

expansion of knowledge and skills of parents and caregivers on parenting to be able to respond to parental duties and responsibilities on the areas of early childhood development, behavior ,management of younger and older children, husband-wife relationships, prevention of child abuse, health care and other challenges of parenting. It assists parents and parent substitutes to develop and strengthen their childs growth and development.

OBJECTIVES: General Objective


To help parents substitutes assume major educational role in the childs rearing, growth and development.

Specific Objectives:
1. That parents/caregivers acquire understanding of their own self, their strengths and weaknesses and should be able to define their characteristics in relation to their role as parents.

2.

That parents should be able to define family, its importance, its functions and how it affects and influences the development of childrens values and behavior.

3. That parents fully understand the meaning of parenting and its impact on growth and development of children and should take on their parenting roles with heightened awareness and sense of responsibility. 4. That parents/caregivers should acquire knowledge on childs growth and development and they understand that both parents should become actively involved in providing stimulating and developmentally appropriate activities and practices for their children. 5. That parents acquire knowledge on the rights of the child and on their responsibilities as parents and look at it as the key approach to the prevention of child abuse. 6. That parents acquire and apply appropriate knowledge and skills on behavior management of younger and older children by studying the causes of misbehavior and determining ways to prevent misbehavior. 7. That parents acquire and practice their knowledge on health care, i.e., immunization breastfeeding, oral rehydration, growth monitoring, herbal medicine, common childhood ailments and prevention of early detection of childhood disabilities. 8. That parents acquire knowledge and skills on house management which will include time management, financial management and basic stress management. 9. That parents know and explain the importance of protecting the environment of the community and identify practical ways to care and protect the environment at home. Second Speaker Ms. Maribel V. Gucela SWO III

Topic: Objectives:

UNDERSTAND MYSELF AS A PERSON

The parents should be able to: Identify individual strength and weaknesses Describe the factors that affect characteristics of a person Clarify family values and goals to better fulfill parental roles

I.

Basic Strengths of an Individual Capability to think, to love, to improve Capability to fulfill ones goal and aspirations Freedom and responsibility Uniqueness Sociability

II.

Basic Weaknesses of an Individual Too much pride Selfishness Laziness Irresponsible Inconsistent to others Bad habits and vices Lack of education

III.

Factors Affecting Ones Characteristics as a Person

IV.

Individual and family Personality Traits Childhood experiences Personal and family goals

Family Values Loving Faith Praise Trust Resourcefulness Responsibility Cooperation Commitment compassion Repentance Forgiveness Thankfulness Worship Humility Dedication Courage Perseverance Purposefulness Prayerfulness Goodness Conviction

I.

Goals of Parents Raise a healthy, happy family Give children proper education Train children to be good and responsible citizens Provide security to the family

Practice Godliness at home

Learning Points: You can understand yourself better as a person if: You are aware of your individual personality traits Establish a good and honest relationship with each other Deal with your past, face the challenges of the present and prepare for your future Re-define your family values Examine your parenting roles and responsibilities Clarify and establish your family goals

Recognize your basic strengths as a person you have the capacity to think and recognize what is right and wrong capacity to improve yourself you have rights as a person you have the freedom to fulfill your aspirations and goals you know your responsibilities toward yourself

Self-concept

is a subjective description of who we think we are.

Self-discovery

to be.

is a continuous process knowing who we are is a big step

towards becoming a parent that the Supreme Being designed us

Self-acceptance

is loving who you are now. This is a contract with

yourself to love and accept who you are at this very moment even those weaknesses youd like to change eventually. Self-esteem therefore, is something that grows throughout the persons life. It is, believing in yourself, an ability to see inner good qualities. If you honor your personal strengths, you will be equipped to raise your children and love them the way they were intended to be loved. Do not waste time in showing all the love you can give.

Awareness

is the first step in understanding why we feel and

why we behave as we behave. This grants us the freedom and the opportunity to identify things we want to change about ourselves and creates the life we want

Internal influences

refers to our gauge of who we are.

External Influences

refers to the outside factors affecting who

we are which include the following: 1. Parenting Style 2. Interaction 3. Education 4. Culture the way we brought up by our parents dealings with other people includes both formal and non-formal refers to patterns of behavior, attitudes, values,

beliefs and traditions. 5. Experience significant events in our life information technology and media

6. Science and Technology influence

Building Positive Self-Esteem as a Father

Self-esteem

is how a person feels and thinks about himself. It

may be positive or negative. It develops overtime. However, it constantly changes. Positive experiences and fulfilling relationships can help raise selfesteem. Negative experiences and troubled relationships contribute to low self-esteem. Factors that influences ones self esteem are our early childhood experiences personal relationships at home, school, community, jobs and patterns of social life. It is very important because it has direct bearing on ones life particularly as parents. Parents with self-esteem are more productive and fully functioning than those who have low self-esteem and have no direction in life. A person with high self-esteem has a quiet sense of self-respect. He knows his value. However, a person with low self-esteem is an insecure person. He doesnt see his value or worth. To consider ones self-esteem, one must start to look first at himself and build on ones self-esteem, ones strengths. To improve ones self-esteem one must begin at accepting oneself-ones weaknesses and strengths. There is a need to praise oneself and nurture the feeling of love and trust. Learn to value your abilities and be realistic in assessing yourself.

Me, Myself and I Each of us has been created uniquely with talents and special qualities that set us apart from others.

Everyone of us has a basic need and craving himself to feel good about ourselves.

Self-esteem is the integrated sum of self-confidence and self-respect

UNDERSTANDING MYSELF AS A PERSON 1. You are a rationale being. You have the capability in honing your qualities. You have the right and freedom to act and improve and fulfill your aspirations in life. But this right and freedom has accompanying responsibilities towards yourself, others and God. 2. Your values personality traits, childhood experiences personal and family goals affects ones characteristics as a person and more important of your role as a father. You are a unique person and able to relate with others. 3. You have specific purpose and mission in life and that purpose and mission provides meaning and direction in your life. You may be more of spiritual, you may be a man of knowledge, you may be a man of values and you may be a man of love. All these dimensions in life affect your course of action in life. Defining that purpose and mission in life provides meaning in ones existence as a person and as a father. 4. Knowing yourself and knowing your strengths and weaknesses is your first step in becoming an effective father. Realizing your own limitations helps you consider things that will affect you in performing your roles as a father. You build yourself by enhancing your strengths and working on your limitations and weaknesses.

Day 2 Speaker

May 22, 2013 (Wednesday) Ms. Lorna D. Gordo SWO III

THE FILIPINO FAMILY

I.

DEFINITION OF FAMILY Your family serves as the basic unit of society. Your membership in the family is acquired either by blood, marriage or adoption.

II.

IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY Your family is your source of security, belongingness, emotional and economic growth.

Your family is your childs immediate environment and serves as the foundation for their physical, social, mental, emotional, and moral well-being. III. FUNCTIONS OF THE FAMILY The main function of your family is to provide total care for the children; prepare them for adult roles; provide discipline and order; and maintain high morale and strong motivation.

BASIC FILIPINO VALUES The way you relate with your children, spouse and other people can be traced from your family origin. These patterns of interaction include role performance, relational status, communication, ability to cope with stress, decision-making, socialization and leadership in the family.

Your values become the values of your family- including the positive and negative values. Examples: close family ties, high regard for elders, obedience, independence, strong sense of saving or hiya, etc. Your family is very important to you The highest value in A. Physical maintenance and care B. Procreation/adoption C. Socialization D. Social Control E. Social placement F. Maintenance of family morale and motivation.

IV.

CHARACTERISTICS OF FILIPINO FAMILY

A. Patterns of social interaction in Filipino family 1. Basically nuclear and extended 2. Monogamous 3. Close and strong family ties 4. Paternal leadership 5. Not too open in communication

6. Others B. Basic Filipino Family Values 1. Strong and close family ties 2. Hospitality 3. Social Acceptance 4. High respect and regards to others 5. Others V. Threats and Challenges Confronting the Filipino Family A. Increasing number of working mothers B. Loosening of kinship ties C. Loosening of social contact D. Growing independence of young children E. Rising incidence of drug abuse, juvenile delinquency, and teenage pregnancy F. Domestic and community violence G. Others The rights of the child can be clustered into four (4) categories: 1. SURVIVAL the right of a child to live. This includes food,

health, shelter and clothing. 2. DEVELOPMENT the right of a child to attain his full potential.

3. PROTECTION

the right of a child to be supported and

protected. This includes protection from mental, physical or sexual abuse, neglect and exploitation. 4. PARTICIPATIONthoughts. RESPONSIBILITIES OF A CHILD Every child regardless of the circumstances of his birth, sex, religion, social status, political antecedents and other factor shall: 1. Strive to lead an upright and virtuous life. 2. Love, respect and obey his parents and cooperate with them in the strengthening of the family. 3. Extend to his brothers and sisters his love, thoughtfulness and endeavor with them to keep the family harmonious and united. 4. Exert his utmost to develop his potentials to service, particularly by undergoing a formal education. 5. Respect not only his elders but also the customs and traditions of our people, the laws of the country. 6. Participate actively in civic affairs and in the promotion of the general welfare. 7. Help in the observance of individual human rights, the strengthening of freedom everywhere. DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES OF PARENTS 1. Provision of physical care and love 2. Incalculating discipline the right of a child to express his feelings and

3. Developing social competence 4. Education 5. Citizenship training 6. Teaching the wise use of money 7. Financial aspect of responsibility 8. Spiritual formation

LIABILITIES OF PARENTS Article 59 CRIMES

Criminal liability shall attach to any person who: 1. Conceals or abandons the child with intent to make such child lose his civil status. 2. Abandons the child under such circumstances as to deprive him of the love, care and protection he needs. 3. Sells or abandons the child to another person for valuable consideration 4. Neglects the child by not giving him the education which the family station in life and financial conditions permit. 5. Fails or refuses, without justifiable grounds to enroll the child. 6. Causes, abets, or permits the truancy of the child from the school where he is enrolled. Truancy means absence without cause for more than twenty

school days not necessarily consecutive.

7. Improperly exploits the child by using him, directly or indirectly such as for the purposes of begging and other acts which are inimical to his interest and welfare. 8. Inflicts cruel and unusual punishments that embarrass or humiliate him. 9. Causes or encourages the child to lead an immoral or dissolute life. 10.Permits the child to posses, handle or carry a deadly weapon regardless of his ownership. 11. Allows or requires the child to drive without a license or with a license which the parents knows to have or illegally procured. Article 60. PENALTY

The acts mentioned in the preceding article shall be punishable with imprisonment from two to six months or fine not exceeding Five hundred pesos or both, at the discretion of the court, unless a higher penalty is provided.

Second Speaker

Ms. Gloria B. Cabacoy Social Welfare Assistant

Topic:

ROLE AS A PARENT

CHALLENGES OF PARENTING My Role as a Parent Objectives: Parent should be able to:

A.) B.) C.) D.) E.)

Clarify the meaning of parenting Analyze the importance of parenting skills Discuss the 3 basic needs of children Know parents roles as caregivers in the family Identify the appropriate behaviors that can help the children

I.

Parenting

means raising children. It takes time, attention,

patience, strength and most especially love. II. Importance of Learning Parenting Skills To ensure best possible developments of children Be better prepared in dealing with trials and triumph of child rearing Parenting skills are necessary to help meet the childrens needs

III. 3 Basic Needs A. Physical needs 1. Good nutrition (go, grow, glow foods) 2. Shelter 3. Safety 4. Medical care 5. Rest, exercise and recreation B. Emotional needs 1. Love

2. Acceptance 3. Security 4. Praise C. Intellectual needs 1. Open communication with your children 2. Concern for your childs education 3. Mental stimulation or creativity 4. Provision for learning aids

IV.

Roles as a Caregiver

1. Total caretaker (feeding, dressing,cuddling) 2. Teacher (explain things, answer questions) 3. Counselor ( support them in good and bad times) V. Appropriate Behaviors to Guide Children 1. Discipline with love 2. Teach social skills 3. Encourage independence 4. Deal with frustrations 5. Communicate openly and constantly 6. Be a model for your child

PARENTING STYLES

A. Permissive Indulgent This means that your child can manipulate you because you always follow the desires and whims of your child. You are easily carried away when your child cries, you feel angry and depressed if she rebels. Usually becomes impulsive and aggressive, low in self-reliance and achievement orientation domineering.

B. Authoritative -

domineering

- All your words and rules must be followed without complaint by your children. - you dont listen to their words and feelings - Obedience is of prime importance to you. Your child usually becomes fearful, moody, unhappy, passive, hostile, withdrawn and irritable.

C. Democratic - This means you practice open communication with your children - You dont easily get mad at their misbehavior - You try to find meaning and reason in the acts and ways of your child - You listen to their opinion and feeling. - You discuss rules and conducts that should be observe in the house.

- Child

usually

becomes

friendly,

self-reliant,

cooperative

and

achievement oriented

D. Neglectful - you perceive your children to be of secondary importance in your life. - You dont give so much care and concern to your children. - You usually entrust the needs and problems of the children to themselves or to other members of the house. - You have trained your child to give time and attention to material things, career, friends, hobbies, vices and other interest. - They are emotionally immature, easily influenced by others. - Experiences in your own family values and beliefs and quality of marital relationship of parents.

Third Speaker

Ms. Myrna R. Eisma Social Welfare Officer III

Topic:

HOME MANAGEMENT

HOME MANAGEMENT - is a day to day activity of married couple as soon as they start their lives together. MANAGEMENT

- is the process of planning the use of resources in order to get the desired output. These resources include time, energy, money, material goods, knowledge and skills. Beyond these basic needs, family goals may include, among others, the maintenance of health, education of children, security for the future, and the full development. MANAGEMENT ACTIVITIES Management activities of the couple begin from the time they wake up to the time they go to bed. It can possibly increase their performances and their productivity at work and in the home. This will help reduce stress. The best place to start is to manage the couples time better. Problems in activities management usually come from poor work habit. FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT Budgeting of Money Money is a very important resource that needs a careful management. The family has to provide the basic needs of the family members which include food, housing, transportations, water, recreation, clothing, medical and dental needs, education and electricity, among others. Family needs are numerous but family resources are often limited. A common complain among married couple is that, whatever they do, their money seems to be always lacking. It seems they are never able to earn enough for their needs.

BUDGETING Budgeting should be a joint decision-making between husband and wife. This will provide a constant consultation and communications regarding matters that will affect them and their family. Budgeting not only the money but also the time together. TIPS ON COST-CUTTING MEASURES Buy Wisely. Wise buying is the art of getting goods which satisfy ones needs at a minimum amount of time, energy and money. It is getting the most out of limited resources. Learn to say no to sales, people who encourage hulugan. Establish priorities and resort to hulugan only for very important items. Avoid smoking, drinking liquor, gambling, junkfoods. Aside from helping one to be healthy, it can also allow savings. Learn to recycle food, clothing and other items. Be creative in cooking; learn how to sew and other means of reusing other waste materials at home. Walk instead of taking a ride when a destination is a short distance away. Aside from saving, the walk will provide exercise which is good for the health. Plant vegetables in the backyard/pots. Vegetables will always be fresh and the excess can be sold for extra money. Include savings in the budget items. Conserve energy and water. If there is a baby, breastfeed him/her. This is good for the babys health and for closer bonding between the mother and the baby.

Learn to live within the means. Do not overcook food. It is a waste of fuel. In case of illness, get medical care on time to prevent complications. Complication means greater expense. A fiesta, birthday or family reunion as an establish tradition may be celebrated but not lavishly. Simple but attractive meals may be served. Avoid getting near to things that will tempt you to spend. Stay away from stores except when there is absolute need to buy. Avoid just looking. Browsing can lead to buying. Make a list and stick to it. Plan shopping with a purpose in mind. Use that list. Extras that are not really needed can add to the total at the cash register. Limit the number of trips to the store or to the market. Shopping when one is hungry, tired, or depressed can be a tendency to over spend. Before spending money, think through the decisionmaking process.

Day 3 First Speaker

May 23, 2013 (Thursday) Ms. Imelda Dadulla SWO IV

Topic:

STRENGTHENING HUSBAND AND WIFE RELATIONSHIP STENGTHENING PARENT AND CHILD RELATIONSHIP

Marriage-

is the initial step in the formation of families. It is

a crucial step. It marks the time when a man and a woman live together, commit themselves and vow to love and cherish each other. Relationship of husband and wife can be heaven and hell depending on the efforts of two partners. In order to be kept VIBRANT, EXCITING and ALIVE, it has to be nurtured and cared. 1. Realistic- face the reality (pleasant or unpleasant) 2. Independentresponsibility. 3. Gives and receives lovecare and attention. 4. Ability to handle strong feeling- able to control anger and channel it to non-destructive outlet. 5. Has long range of viewplan for the future. 6. Is able to relax without feeling guilty. 7. Interested in self-development- strives to develop his/her talents and capabilities. 8. Able to communicate regularlycompassion. 9. Understand each other. 10. Verbalization of love in a daily basis develop sensitivity and knows how to enjoy life and have fun decides in a mature manner and has caring for others, recipient of capable of making up his own mind. He knows

what he wants in life, has the will to pursue and willing to accept

11. Ask Gods help always-

with

Him,

couples

can

stay

together to a full, happy and rewarding life. HOW TO POINT OUT MISTAKES TO YOUR SPOUSE 1. Stay away from sensitive subjects to begin with. 2. Choose a right time before bringing up the subject. 3. Avoid speaking like a parent punishing a child. 4. Remember that we cant change someone by getting angry, criticizing etc. LIST OF WISHES I wish my husband would: 1. Expresses appreciation of what Im doing at home. 2. Helps me with some household chores. 3. Gives chance to every family member to talk/explain. 4. Remembers the significant occasions of our married life, as he did during the days of courtship. 5. Be nice to me the whole day, especially when he wanted to date me in the bedroom. LIST OF WISHES I wish my wife would: 1. Appreciates my efforts in making the family live comfortably. 2. Sees the good side in me rather than nags me about my weaknesses most of the time. 3. Be my good critic, instead of revealing it to other people.

4. Keep herself attractive and physically fit. 5. Be sweet and nice in speaking to have a pleasant atmosphere at home. CONCLUSION: TRUE SUCCESS in the family is measured by the quality of relationship among its members. It is not on the amount of money we saved, the size of the house we have, nor on the properties acquired. It depends on how good parents and children communicated, understand and supported each other. Being calm makes a relationship work better. Peaceful atmosphere at home will make the members more cooperative, loving and respectful. Mutual respect generates calmness and cooperation. Talk to the members of the family with respect. They deserve respect as you do. Money is just a means to attain good relationship with your spouse or with your children, but it is not the best and ultimate means. Money can buy: - A house but not a home - Medicine but not health - A bed but not sleep - Books but not brains - Food but not appetite - Luxury and comfort but not happiness

REMEMBER:
Psalm 127:1 If

the LORD does not build the house,

the work of the builders is useless; If the LORD does not protect the city, it does no good for the sentries to stand guard.

STRENGTHENING PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIP Children are blessings from God and parents should treasure those blessings. The best way we can show our gratitude for these blessings is to take special care of them. Here are 10 simple tips for enhancing the bond between parent and child 1. SAY I LOVE Tell your child you love him/her everyday no matter his/her age. Even on trying days or after a parent-child disagreement, when you dont exactly like your child at that moment, it is more important than ever to express your love. A simple I love you goes a long way toward developing and then strengthening a relationship.

2. TEACH YOUR FAITH A Teach your child about your faith and beliefs. Tell them you believe and why. Allow time for your child to ask questions and answer them honestly. Reinforce those teaching often. 3. ESTABLISH A SPECIAL NAME OR CODE WORD Create a special name of your child that is positive or a secret code word that you can use between each other. Use the name as simple reinforcement of your love. The code word can be established to have special meaning between your child and you that only you two understand. This code word can even be used to extract a child from an uncomfortable situation (such as sleepover that is not going well) without causing undue embarrassment to the child. 4. DEVELOP AND MAINTAIN A SPECIAL BEDTIME RITUAL For younger children, reading a favorite bedtime or telling stories is a ritual that will be remembered most likely throughout their life. Older children should not be neglected either. Once children start reading, have them read a page, chapter, or short book to you. Even most teenagers still enjoy the ritual of being told goodnight in a special way by a parent-even if they dont act like it. 5. LET YOUR CHILDREN HELP YOU Parents sometimes inadvertently miss out on opportunities to forge closer relationship by not allowing their child to help them with various tasks and chores. Unloading groceries after going to the store is a good example of something that children of most ages can and should assist with. Choosing which shoes look better with your dress, let a child know you value her opinion. Of course, if you ask, be prepared to accept and live with the choice made.

6. PLAY WITH YOUR CHILDREN The key is to really play with your children. Play with dolls, ball, make believe, checkers, sing songs, or whatever is fun playing about anythingas long as it involves you. 7. EAT MEALS AS A FAMILY You heard these before, and it really is important. Eating together sets the stage for conversation and sharing. Turn the TV off, and dont rush through a meal. When schedules permit, really talk and enjoy one another. It can become a quality time most remembered by young and old alike. 8. SEEK OUT ONE-ON-ONE OPPORTUNITIES OFTEN Some parents have special nights or standing dates with their children to create that one-on-one opportunity. Whether it is a walk around the neighborhood, a special trip to a playground, or just a movie night with just the two of you, it is important to celebrate each child individually. Although it is more of a challenge, the more children in family, it is really achievable. Think creatively and the opportunities created will be once that you remember in the future. 9. RESPECT THEIR CHOICES You dont have to like their mismatched shirt and shorts or love how a child has placed pictures in his room. However, it is important to respect those choices. Children reach out for independence at a young age, and parents can help to foster those decision-making skills by being supportive and even looking the other way on occasion. After all, it really is okay if a child goes to daycare with a striped green shirt and pink shorts. 10.MAKE THEM A PRIORITY IN YOUR LIFE

Your children need to know that you believe they are a priority in your life. Children can observe excessive stress and notice when they feel you are not paying them attention. Sometimes, part of being a parent is not worrying about the small stuff and enjoying your children. They grow up so fast and everyday is special. Take advantage of your precious time together while you have it.

BUILDING/STRENGHTEN CHILD

YOUR

RELATIONSHIP

WITH

YOUR

Thorough knowledge of your childs personality, behavior, attitude, interest, hopes and dreams. Unconditional acceptance and respect of your childs uniqueness as person. Communicate effectively by listening and understanding your childs feeling and thoughts. Practice emphatic listening by putting yourself in childs situation. Be alert and respond to your childs non-verbal messages like eye movement, gestures, facial expression, tone voice, physical appearance, etc. Put aside time for your child and play or spend time with his/her favorite toy or past time. Promote independence by giving freedom to explore the world as appropriate for their age. Give opportunities for them explore option solving their problems.

THE FOLLOWING OVERCOMES FAMILY THREATS AND CHALLENGES NO MATTER HOW ENORMOUS: Open and honest communication with your children should always be encourage Violence or any form of abuse should not be tolerated. Empowerment of family members Relationship of family members must be strengthened. Communication, relationship, decision-making and problem-solving skills of family members should be developed and harnessed. Care for the environment. Outings or get-togethers with the family should be done regularly. Media exposures of the children should be closely monitored. Economic activities that contribute to family welfare should be ensured. Spirituality of family members should be nurtured.

ELEMENTS

IN

ORDER

TO

MAINTAIN

HARMONIOUS

RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR CHILDREN

LOVE Parents who shower their children with care and affection demonstrate their love for their children, thus, children gain selfconfidence, respect and development of their talents and potentials to

the fullest. This manifestation of love for their children will eventually bear fruit in the future. OBEDIENCE Obedience to parental authority should be inculcated during infancy and cultivated throughout adolescence. Even early in life, children should be taught to obey their parents, to respect their word, and show respect for authority.

Children are not to be indulged and allowed to think that they can follow their own desires without asking the advice of their parents. RESPECT It is important for parents to respect childrens choices as they reach out for independence at a young age, as this signals the start of the decision-making stage. Parents can help foster these decision-making skills by being supportive and respecting their childrens attempts to achieve independence and in establishing their own identity.

PRIORITIZATION Children need to know that they are top priorities in parents lives. Parents need to pay attention to their childrens needs.

How parents spend their time with their children, serves as an important factor in molding the character and personality of

children. This can strengthened the bond between parents and children.

LOVE/FEAR OF GOD This involves teaching children how to love, respect and obey the commandments of God. Parents who are God-fearing need to teach their children that everything comes from God. It is the responsibility of the parents to bring their children closer to the Almighty. Parents may lead or encourage their children to participate in church activities.

COMMUNICATION Frequent communication or constant dialogue with the children will help in inculcating the values of love, happiness, and sacrifice. Parents are reminded to teach children that emotions should not control them (especially the feelings of sadness, fear, anger, pride

and embarrassment) but that their children should be the one to


control their emotions.

Parents need to be open and available to hear questions on any topic when needed. Encourage your children to express themselves by talking about their thoughts, feelings, ideas, goals and dreams and listen with genuine interest.

FORGIVE AND FORGET When parents and children understand each others strengths and weaknesses, harmonious relationships are to be expected. Statements like Im sorry, forgive me, please understand me, are string of words that need to be taught to children.

Past mistake may also be shared with our children. This can help our children in learning from our mistakes, and in the process, they can avoid committing the same mistakes, too.

DISCIPLINING CHILDREN Studies shows that punishments like hitting, slapping and cursing are not effective. While such punishment may seem to get fast results, in the long term it is more harmful than helpful. This can discourage and embarrass children/teens and develop low selfesteem. Instead of hitting and slapping and cursing to correct behavior or discipline children, our children need to be taught what behavior is acceptable or not and why is it so.

Parents should stress the Dos rather than the Donts.

To discipline the children, parents should inculcate positive values to help children develop their self-confidence in making choices in life.

SOME IMPORTANT PRINCIPLES ON PARENTING Be Consistent Be consistent Express how much you love your children Communicate actively and clearly Choose your words carefully and maintain a sense of humor Offer positive suggestions and options Never criticize your child, focus on his/her behavior. Never give complicated or unreasonable rules. Set limits but be careful not to impose too many rules. Involve in children as much as possible in making family rules and decisions. Show a good example. Take time to praise a child for his/her good behavior and accomplishments. Encourage responsibility and independence.

Nurture your childs self-confidence Tell your child about a behavior that is annoying to you and to others.

Ways to help children say NO

1. Educate them 2. Listen intently to your children 3. Make them feel good about themselves 4. Never use put-down words 5. Praise them for their efforts and accomplishment 6. Do not dwell on failures 7. Be a model for your kids be being vice-free and morally upright 8. Support your kids especially when they are faced with peer pressure

Remember:

The real meaning of family is to have a good Parent and child relationship at home. As Parents dont replace your presence with material or with the latest gadgets.

Absence of Parents and God in our home destroys the solidarity of the family. If a child feels secure of a parents affection, confidence and good relationship will develop naturally.

Second Speaker -

Ms. Otilla A. Miaga SWO III

Topic:

CHILD DEVELOPMENT

INTRODUCTION This session introduces you to different stages of child development. It will help you understand better the different stages of growth and development of the children as well as the differences and changes manifested in these stages. It will also tackle the four major areas of child development for you to fully appreciate the individuality of your child. OBJECTIVES The parent should be able to: Explain the meaning of child growth and development Identify the five major domains of child development. Describe the different ways through which a child learns. GROWTH refers mainly to changes in physical size. involves character changes in complexity and

DEVELOPMENT -

function, from immature to mature behavior, from simple to complex. CHILD DEVELOPMENT it refers to the evolution of a human

being from a dependent child to an independent child.

- Is a process of change in which the child learned to handle more complex levels of moving, thinking, feeling and interacting with people and objects in the environment. KEY LEARNING POINTS Growth primarily refers to change in size, height, weight or what simply refers to as physical growth. Development refers to change that is usually from the very simple to complex function, e.g. muscle development from crawling of 6 months old to walking by a one-year old; Child development refers to the process that a child goes through to increase his/her motor, cognitive, affective and social skills. It is a process of change in which the child learns to handle more complex levels of moving, thinking, feeling and interacting with people and objects. SYNTHESIS Both physical growth and developmental changes of the children are important. If you neglect one aspect of the other, the child will be physically abnormal, unhappy or unsuccessful as a person As parents, we should always nurture both needs of the children. FIVE MAJOR DOMAINS OF CHILD DEVELOPMENT Physical dimension Social dimension the ability to move and coordinate the ability to relate to others the ability to think and learn

Cognitive/intellectual dimension Emotional Dimension for self and others.

the ability to develop positive feelings

Moral and Spiritual live a good life. KEY LEARNING POINTS

the ability to understand goodness and

Your child development is complex. It is determined by multiple factors from the very beginning of life. Your baby has five senses - sight, smell, hearing, taste and touch. These are all working from the moment he/she was born. Your children grow and develop differently from one another due to environmental influences. Good health and nutrition, affection and mental stimulation, security and moral support are very important to your childrens growth and development. To facilitate or maximize your childrens learning: satisfy all five senses by providing concrete experiences, play or other forms of interactions and activities. SYNTHESIS Although your children grow according to the same pattern, they each develop at their own unique way and pace. As parents, you play a major role in facilitating your childrens development by providing a stimulating environment. NOTICEABLE CHANGE AMONG CHILDREN AGES 0 TO 6 YEARS OLD 1. Development begins at pre-natal stage and learning even at birth. 2. Development has several inter-related dimensions.

3. Development proceeds in predictable steps and learning in recognized sequence. There is a great deal of individuality and social variability in children rates of development and styles of learning. 4. Development and learning occur continuously be a result of the child interacting with people and objects in his/her environment. 5. Children are active participants in their own development and learning. BASIC PRINCIPLES IN UNDERSTANDING CHILD DEVELOPMENT All children are different from one another. They have different personalities, potentialities, temperamental dispositions, reaction, and rates of development. Children are generally the same in the way they tend to follow same sequence of development. However, gender and living condition will significantly influence development. Within the family and in the community, the basic requirement for the child to develop fully as a person, living in a stable environment with predictable events and people by adults providing the basic needs of growing children. DIFFERENT WAYS A CHILD LEARNS A child learns through doing- through interaction with people and things. There are several basic principles about the way children learn that they are aptly called the fundamentals of early learning. 1. From birth, children construct their own knowledge and understanding of the word through repeated interactions with people, objects and events in their environment. 2. Children learn through social interaction with adults and other children.

3. Childrens learning reflects a recurring cycle that begins in awareness and moves to exploration, to inquiry and finally to utilization. 4. Children learn through play. 5. Childrens interests and need to know motivate learning. 6. Child development and learning are characterized by individual variations. PLAY AND CHILDRENS DEVELOPMENT During the early years, learning is especially active. It involves physical exploration- touching, testing, hearing, seeing and moving. Children learn by doing, by experimenting with materials and through the language they learn from talking with and listening to each other and adults. PLAY ENHANCES AND FOSTERS CHILDRENS OVERALL

DEVELOPMENT IN THE AREAS BELOW: 1. Social development is done through interacting with others. children work through their feelings. children practice language skills to

2. Emotional development 3. Intellectual development

try out new ideas, create situations and solve problems. 4. Physical development children develop small and large muscle

skills and eye/hand coordination as they play with various objects. FOUR AREAS OF CHILD DEVELOPMENT Child development is multi-dimensional, integral and simultaneous. It involves physical, mental/emotional and social dimensions. Personal/Social dimension development. (the ability to relate to others)

focuses on the childs social and emotional or psychosocial

Cognitive/Intellectual dimensions-

(the ability to think and

learn) addresses intellectual function/thinking skills such as reasoning, problem-solving and processing knowledge including concepts of number and time. Emotional Dimension(the ability to develop positive feelings

for self and for others) is influenced by the people and objects in the childs environment. It takes a long time for children to develop understanding for their own anger, jealousy, fear and restlessness. Parents and caregivers can help infants, toddlers and preschooler to understand and to deal with emotions. At six years of age, children can understand explanations about behavior and follow examples. Childrens ability to show different kinds of emotion is a sign of healthy development, such as joy, anger, sorrow and excitement. Physical Dimension (the ability to move and coordinate)

refers to childs development in gross and fine motor coordination, strength and stamina. Children become bigger as they get older. Their growth includes large muscle development to support skills in running, throwing etc. Day 4 Speaker: Topic: May 24, 2013

Ms. Melenia G. Demeterio

BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES FOR YOUNGER CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS.

INTRODUCTION

Children are wonderful creatures. As they grow up, they develop certain behaviors that help meet particular needs at different stages. As their behaviors change, you will witness them forming into their own individual selves. How do young children behave at home? Do they make you angry when they misbehave? What are their ages? Do you punish them for misbehaviors? Why? Why not?

OBJECTIVES To explain the basic theories on child behavior and to analyze the behavior of children today. To identify causes, ways of handling and preventing young childrens misbehavior.

EIGHT STAGES OF PSYCHOSOCIAL DEVELOPMENT Infancy (0-2) Needs foods, love, rest, recreation, security Develops trust in others, feel valued, feels a sense that life is good (hope)

Early Childhood (2-3) Child discovers control of himself

Develops autonomy Play age (3-6) Develop certain initiative Can create and be successful School age (6-12) Discovers that he is part of the society. Learn skills and able to survive. Develop industry. Sense that he has valuable contribution to help others. Adolescence (12-19) Discovers his unique values, personality, with group of peers, chooses a career. Develops identity, relating to others and accepting and caring for others (fidelity) Young Adult (19-40) Discovers his life becomes better Chooses a partner

Adult (40-65)

Discovers his life with others. Has grand children, enjoys and reaps benefit of parenting and working. Develops generosity. Make positive contribution to life process (care) Mature age (65-death) He had what he wanted in life. Feels content and satisfied. Develops integrity, a sense of getting old, coming to terms with death, life is worthwhile (wisdom)

CAUSES OF MISBEHAVIOR AMONG YOUNG CHILDREN 1. POWERchildren most often feel that they are only

significant if they are the boss. They want all their wants granted. Parents must refrain from getting angry and must disengage from power struggle. If the power struggle continues, the children usually feel they cannot defeat their parents. Hence, they will pursue to the next goal. 2. REVENGE- revengeful children find their place by being cruel and disliked. They feel that they are not lovable so they resort to hurting others to find their meaning. 3. ATTENTION- children desire for attention. They prefer to gain attention in useful ways. If they are not able to achieve it, they seek attention in useless ways. 4. DISPLAY OF INADEQUACY- extremely discouraged children are signs of feelings of inadequacy. They give up hope of

succeeding. To help the child, parents must eliminate all criticism and focus on the childs assets and strengths. Parents must encourage any effort to improve no matter how small it seems. BEHAVIORAL CHILDREN Time-out is used to present inappropriate behavior to a MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES FOR YOUNG

quiet area where he does nothing until allowed to return. 1-2 minutes for less serious behavior. This is effective for preschool and school-aged children.
Loss of privilege is taking away privileges like watching TV for one night or playing outside. This may used when child breaks a rule, refuses to obey parents or misuse toys. Restoration/replacement involves making up for an inappropriate behavior, e.g. give extra chores, use own savings for allowance. Rewards encourage appropriate extra time with parents, giving surprise gifts or pasalubong and additional allowance Ignoring is used to reduce or eliminate irritating behavior like tantrums, nagging and interrupting. Paying no attention until the irritating behavior stops. Praise maybe a word, gesture, facial expression or phrase that encourages children to feel pride and joy. It is a way of giving positive feedback to increase a child sense of worth and confidence. Modeling is essentially teaching by example. MISBEHAVIOR OF YOUNG CHILDREN CAN BE PREVENTED BY:

1. Providing proper training for the young child to act inappropriate ways. Children are like vacuum. They need to be taught properly and patiently the appropriate ways of behavior. 2. Communicate with them. Talk to your children with respect and treat like very young adult. Listen to their thoughts and feelings. Never force your views. Never belittle them. 3. Giving proper attention to their needs. Always be there for your children. Be attentive and listen to them. 4. Loving them. The most basic and the most important is to love your children with all your heart, words and deeds. You cannot just say you love them and be out of sight. LANGUAGES OF LOVE 1. Affirmation 2. Touch 3. Bonding 4. Service 5. Gift 6. Legacy of faith

CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH CRITICISM HE LEARNS TO CONDEMN

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH HOSTILITY HE LEARNS TO FIGHT

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH FEAR HE LEARNS TO BE APPREHENSIVE

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH PITY HE FEELS SORRY FOR HIMSELF IF A CHILD LIVES WITH RIDICULE HE LEARNS TO BE SHY

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH JEALOUSY HE LEARNS WHAT ENVY IS.

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH SHAME HE LEARNS TO FEEL GUILTY

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH ENCOURAGEMENT HE LEARNS TO BE CONFIDENT

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH TOLERANCE HE LEARNS TO BE PATIENT

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH PRAISE HE LEARNS TO BE APPRECIATE

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH ACCEPTANCE HE LEARNS TO LOVE

IF A CHILD WITH APPROVAL HE LEARNS TO LIKE HIMSELF. IF A CHILD LIVES WITH RECOGNITION HE LEARNS THAT IT IS GOOD TO HAVE A GOAL

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH SHARING HE LEARNS ABOUT GENEROSITY

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH HONESTY AND FAIRNESS HE LEARNS WHAT TRUTH AND JUSTICE ARE

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH SECURITY HE LEARNS TO HAVE FAITH IN HIMSELF AND IN THOSE ABOUT HIM.

IF A CHILD WITH FRIENDLINESS

HE LEARNS THAT THE WORLD IS A NICE PLACE IN WHICH TO LIVE.

IF YOU LIVE WITH SERENITY YOUR CHILD WILL LIVE WITH PEACE OF MIND.