From: sgraves To: zee-list Subject: It's an old point that bears repeating.

Date: Wed, 18 Oct 2000 17:59:40 GMT I don't know much about chaos magic in any academic, I-read-it-in-XXX sense. Here's my recent experience with real chaos magic. A good friend of mine was in pain, and in an effort to lessen her pain, I "healed" her. Along the lines of an old post Lauranz made entitled Occam's Pot Scrubber, or something similar, I should more rightly say that she reported feeling less pain after I perceived an action on my own part. We got into a discussion of how I do it. My answer didn't satisfy me, completely, because I'm overly analytical. I told her that I healed because I know it works. That's all. No paradigm. No invocation. No visualization. I lay on my hands, and I concentrate on the knowledge that it Works, and it Works. They call it Faith Healing. I can analyze it. I really can. But my friend made an astoundingly concise and insightful statement that removes my desire to do so: she said, "Steve, it works because it's yours. You didn't read it in a book. It won't fail because you're not doing it Hine's way, or Caroll's way; it will work, because you're doing it your way." Similarly, her house is "haunted." By this I mean that upon entering a particular room for the first time, I commented that it felt like someone had hung themselves there. They have, or will. Her name is/will be Colleen. The same night, this entity moved into the room we were sitting in, and caused me great discomfort, in addition to lowering the ambient temperature. Rather than invoke some great deity to cast it out, or banish this "ghost," I simply calmed my self inwardly, felt my inner temperature, and concentrated on feeling my temperature rise. I then asked the spirit to bide its time, that the pain it would cause us would in no way lessen its own, and that, in time, I would help it if I could. Nothing I've read or put supreme effort into has worked. When I want results, I simply focus on what I know is true: that I have a modicum of power within my Self, and that I can use it externally. It is my chi, my Soul, my life force, and my aura. Chaos magic? This is chaos magic. Chaos magic is doing what works, for you. Enjoy the story, folks, and I'll be seeing you in your dreams, Rev.Graves.

Date: Wed, 22 Aug 2001 08:22:46 -0400 From: "Rev.Graves." <reverend@sprawl.net> To: zee-list@chaosmatrix.com Subject: [zee-list]: Discipline or Results? The other day, on IRC, I got talking with one of our members-in-absentia regarding results magick. Mind, he didn't realise we were talking about results magick, but we were (as anyone who has met me knows I have a tendency to do) talking shop, discussing magic. Now, if I remember correctly, he was explaining something about a grimoire he was intent upon working through, even though he wasn't getting any results of manifestation. My comment was, of course, "if it doesn't work, trash it, and go back to your own system." He explained that the reasoning behind the pathworking was that he was disciplining himself. Teaching himself to use other systems via force. So, I got to thinking... when does it become more important to get results than to achieve a goal? Let's say, for example, that there is a young woman named Earwig. Now, I know, Earwig isn't exactly a common name for a girl, but her parents were a bit "touched," as the elderly are wont to say, and the poor girl bears still the brunt of their condition... but I digress. Earwig, having grown up with such a name, turns in her early teens to the study of occultism as a hobby, and with time, the hobby grows into a true belief. Earwig starts practicing magic, she creates a magicoreligious paradigm, and she gets really, really good results... odd, considering that it is a blend of kitchen-witchery and goetic demonolatry. She's read the books on the subjects, and operates in patterns vaguely similar to those in said books, but she really has her own style of practice. Now, one day, Earwig decides that she needs to train herself in a new school of occultism, in order to broaden her horizons and teach her discipline. She chooses, quite arbitrarily, the Ma'at current. she goes out, and gets all the information she can, and she sits down with Nema's "Ma'at Magic" and starts working through the process contained therein. She gets no result from it, her invocations and evocations bear no fruit, and in essence, she fails at her task. Yet, in the spirit of bloody-mindedness, she perseveres. She gets to about midway through the progression, when suddenly she loses her job. Now, in her regular mode, she'd just bind a demon to her soul for the duration of the period of unemployment, allowing herself the demon's power in the search for a new career, and in turn giving the demon a chance to run around the upper world attached to a body for a while. However, the current path, the

Ma'at path, operates on a different line (because, of course, she's gone fullEgyptian for the course of the Ma'at working). Okay, enough of -that-. I draw the line at necessity, I'd say -- when there becomes a true need to augment my mundane efforts with magical, when my life becomes distinctly troubled and purely mundane means don't settle, I will default to my standard path. The only time I can see -not- doing so is that if the change in path, the discipline, is bound in Oath. Then again, since Oath magick is one of my default forms, I'd likely not swear a True Oath to change my path. Discipline, on the other hand, can be exceptionally useful. I find that it is often something I lack. Training I have, Will I have, Belief I have, Discipline I lack, and thus often lack the ambition to follow-through with prolonged workings. Now, admittedly, much of my style of magic cannot truly -be- prolonged, as it is often instantaneous martial magic or healing work (although, healing work does often require time and patience, in all honesty.) I must say, I applaud the decision to hold discipline over results, though I also hold that it is fairly foolish. Use what works. Love and Honour, Graves