1

Subject of the Khutbah: Family Values and Duties towards Parents in Islam

PART I

Say: AAWW.
Sit down facing congregation.
Listen to Adhaan.
Stand up facing congregation.
(Silently say): A’udhoo… and Basmallh...
Start Part I of the khutbah.
------------------------------------------------------------
Al-hamdu Lillaahi nasta’eenahu wa nastaghfiruhu,
wa na’oodhu billaahi min shuroori anfusinaa wa sayi’aati a’maalinaa.
Man yahdih Illaahu falaa mudilla lahu wa man yudlil falaa haadiya lahu.
Wa ashhadu an laa ilaaha ill-Allaah
wa ashhadu anna Muhammadan ‘abduhu wa rasooluhu.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yaa ayyuha’lladheena aamanu-ttaqu’Llaaha haqqa tuqaatihi wa laa
tamootunna illaa wa antum muslimoon.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yaa ayyuha’n-naas uttaqu rabbakum alladhi khalaqakum
min nafsin waahidatin wa khalaqa minhaa zawjahaa wa baththa
minhumaa rijaalan katheeran wa nisaa’an
wa’ttaqu-Llaah alladhi tasaa’aloona bihi wa’l-arhaama
inna Allaaha kaana ‘alaykum raqeeban.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yaa ayyahu’lladheena aamanu-ttaqu’Llaaha wa qooloo qawlan sadeedan.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ammaa Baad.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Say loudly: A’udhoo… and Basmallh
Now start with the Qur’anic aayaah(t) relevant to the topic of the khutbaah.

“Innallah ya’a muru, bil adli, wal ihsaan;

wa ee ta’ee dhil qurbaa;
wa yanhaa anil fahshaa’ee, wal munkaree wal bagh’yi;
ya ee dhukum la-allakum tadhak-karoon.”

Dear brothers and sisters in Islam, AAWW.

The last verse that I just recited is verse # 90 from Chapter #16, Al-Nahl, The
Bee, of the Holy Qur’an; and let’s see its closet meaning:

“God commands justice, the doing of good, and liberality to kith and kin, and
He forbids all shameful deeds, and injustice and rebellion: He instructs you, that
ye may receive admonition.”
 2

The key words that I want to emphasize today are: “ma’ruf, ihsaan, and wa ee
ta’ee dhil qurbaa.” Ma’ruf means known, generally that is good. Ihsaan means
the “doing of the good, and ee ta’ee dhil qurbaa means liberality to kith and kin;
in other words – the family values. So Inshaa’Allah, God willing, the topic of
today’s khutbah that is sermon is: “Family Values and Duties towards Parents in
Islam.”

First: Duties towards Parents

As human beings, we have different duties. Some duties are towards our
personal needs while some other duties are towards others. For example, we
have duties towards our family, our relatives, our neighbors, etc. We also have
duties towards our environment, our country and our world. Above all, there is
duty towards Allaah, our Creator – it is part of our spiritual duty. Similarly we have
duties towards our parents.

Doing good or being nice to our parents is a very important duty in Islam. It is so
important that this duty is placed next to worshipping God Himself. Why did
our Holy Book Qur’an emphasize so much about respecting our parents? Let us
try to understand.

You will be surprised to know that there are more verses in the Qur’an talking
about duties towards parents than verses about parents’ duties towards children.
The reason is clear. It is natural for all parents to love their children. No matter
how old or how young the children are, parents love their children
unconditionally. The parental love never decreases. However, many a times,
children’s love towards their parents decreases as they grow up with changing
interests and shifting allegiances. The love towards parents changes to love
towards their wives and their own children. The Qur’an wants us to remember
that some priorities should never change. One of those priorities is our
duty towards our parents.

Let us talk about the status of parents in Islam. In Islam, the children are
asked to show respect to parents. The Qur’an has beautifully explained this
point. At number of places, Allah, the Most Exalted says what not to do and do.
For example:

What not to do: Do not associate anyone or anything with Allah.

What to Do: Do good towards parents.

Verse 36, Chapter 4, An-Nisaa, The Women

“And worship Allaah and do not associate with Him anything, and
goodness towards the parents, and to the near relatives, and the orphans,
and the poor, and the neighbor who is related, and the neighbor who is
alien, and the companion by the side, and the traveler, and what your right
hands passes. Surely Allaah does not love him who is proud, boastful.”
 3

The “doing of good” that the Qur’an talks about does include doing good to the
parents. The entire concept of “good” is summed up in the word ihsaan. It
denotes doing what is right, good and beautiful – in other words we should show
them kindness, compassion, gratitude, obedience and respect. We should pray
for them and support them financially if they are in need. The list of doing good to
them is endless. And this applies even when they are not Muslims!

Now let us talk about being patient with parents. It is easy to loose our
patience when things do not go our way. Our parents do so many things that may
cause us to loose patience because of our different interests and so forth. Even
then we should not become angry and impatient with them. The Qur’an tells us
not to loose our patience, not to speak the smallest word of disrespect or
displeasure towards them.

Verses 23, and 24 Chapter 17; Israel

“And your Lord has commanded that you do not worship anyone except
Him alone; and doing good to the parents. If one of them or both of them
reach old age in your presense, even then do not say to them “Ugh,” and
do not scold them, and speak to them a generous speech.

“And lower to them the wings of humility out of tenderness; and say: ‘My
Lord! Have mercy on them as they brought me up in childhood.’ ”

Subhaanallh…

How about praying for parents? Far from speaking harshly towards our
parents, we are told to pray for them. In the above verse, a beautiful du’a
meaning supplication is quoted. We should make it a habit to offer this
supplication in our prayers to God everyday now and even after they are gone. It
says: “Rabbir hamhumaa kamaa rabba-yaanee sagheera.”
“My Lord! Have mercy on them as they brought me up in childhood.”

How beautiful!

I would like to quote a most famous hadith meaning a Prophetic saying about the
status of parents in Islam.

Once a man asked our Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of God be
upon him), “Who is most entitled to be treated with best companionship by me?”
The Prophet (peace and blessings of God be upon him) replied, “Your mother.”
The man asked, “Who is next?” The Prophet (peace and blessings of God be
upon him) said, “Your mother.” The man again asked, “Who is next?” The
Prophet (peace and blessings of God be upon him) said, “Your mother.” The man
asked for the fourth time, “Who is next?” The Prophet (peace and blessings of
God be upon him) said, “Your father.” (Bukhari and Muslim). This saying
illustrates two things: (1) status of parents, and (2) status and importance of
 4

wonen in Islam. Unlike what we see and hear in the media, the status of women
in Islam is of very high order. Brothers and sisters, so try to learn about true Islam
and propagate the true message.

In another saying, it is reported that one day the mother of Asma, the daughter of
second Caliph Abu Bakr (may God be pleased with him) came from the city of
Mecca to the city of Madina to meet her. Asma’s mother was not a Muslim at the
time. Asma asked the Prophet (peace and blessings of God be upon him) how
she was supposed to treat her. The Prophet (peace and blessings of God be
upon him) told her to be kind and considerate and behave towards her as a
daughter should behave with her mother. It meant respect.

Now why should we love our parents? Allah, the Most Exalted reminds us
about the pain and suffering our mother had to bear while giving birth. This is the
single most important reason we have to give thanks to her. Allah, the Most
Exalted tells us in the Qur’an:

Verse 14, Chapter 31, Luqmaan

“And we have enjoined on people concerning his parents – his mother
carries him with suffering upon suffering, and weaning is in two years –
saying: ‘Give thanks to Me and to your parents. Towards Me is the return.’ ”

Another let us see another verse from the Qur’an.

Verse 15, Chapter 46, Al-Ahqaaf, The Wind-curved Sandhills.

“And we have enjoined on people the doing of good to his parents. His
mother bears him with pain, and with pain does she give birth to him. And
his bearing and his weaning takes thirty months. Till when he attains his
maturity and reaches forty years, he says: ‘My Lord! Rouse me that I may
give thanks for your favors with which you have favored upon me and upon
my parents, and that I may do good – which may please you, and do good
to me with regard to my offspring. Surely I turn to You, and I am indeed
among the Muslims’ ”

Alhamdulillah, Praise be to Allah.

Now the family values in general, in Islam.

In Chapter #16, Al Nahl, the Bee, of the Qur’an, Allah, the Most Exalted says:

“And Allah has made for you in your homes an abode.”

What does the home represent to the Muslim family? Is it a place where family
members can relate to one another and where they sincerely enjoy being
together; where they have a sense of shared beliefs and values, and their
behavior is based on Islamic principles? Is it a place where family members are
 5

protected, happy and kind to one another?

The home should not be just a place where people eat, rest and sleep; indeed,
the home is the place where we spend most of our time, and where families
spend most of their time together. The home is a place where families should
worship together, and it should be based on Allah’s rules and guidance and not
based on human whims and desires. It has been reported by a scholar that,
“When Allah loves the people of a household, he introduces kindness
among them.”

Today, almost everything around us, particularly for Muslims, tends to minimize
positive family values and principles. Our families are becoming a part of an
increasingly immoral society. Even though our values and principles may have
helped us to resist these changes, we are still vulnerable to the negative
influences around us. Those that are weak in their Islamic practice, wisdom and
judgment are more likely to fall.

Islam offers strong marriages. Divorces, though allowed, are highly discouraged
in Islam. Islam does not want people to go and live like monks; nor do Islam
tolerates living together or same-sex phenomena of modern days. These are sins
of very high order in the Eyes of our Creator, the Most Exalted, according to the
Qur’an. The new-age promiscuity is an evil not sanctioned by Islam, at all. Islam
teaches morality. The Prophet (peace and blessing of God be upon him) had
been reported to have said that he was sent to perfect the good morals. Islam
advocates individual and collective morality. After all, each one of us is a unit, a
brick of a house – shall we say- Dar-ul-Islam, the House of Islam; and so, if we
as units are strong, then we as a House will be strong. That’s where individual
and collective morality comes into picture. These lessons are part of family
values in Islam.

The subject is huge and we can keep on talking for hours. Due to brevity, I will
stop here. Let us pray to Allah, the Most Exalted, that He blesses us with strong
family values and strong sense of responsibility towards our parents.

Ameen, Allaahumma Ameen.

Aqulo qauli haza wastaghfirullah, lee walakum, walisairil muslimeen; min

kulli zanbin festaghfirooh, innahu huwal ghafurur rahim.

Sit down. Silently recite any du’a (e.g. “Rabbana aatinaa fid-dunya…”). Stand up
facing congregation. Start second part of the khutbah by reciting hamd of Allah,
salawaat to the Prophet and some du’a at the end, all in Arabic.
 6

PART II

Alhamdulillahi rabbil a’alamin.

WasSalaatu wasSalaamu ‘alaa khairil mursaleen;
Muhammadin nabiyyeel ummeeyyee,
Wa’alaa a’alihi wa-ashaabibi ajmaeen.

Amma baad.

We have a sister in our audience who has reverted to Islam, Alhamdulillah. I want
her family to know that Mary, or Mariyam as we call in Islam (peace be upon her)
and the Prophet Jesus (peace be upon him) are highly respected in Islam. If you
really know what the Qur’an says about them, you may be surprised that perhaps
that’s more respect than one could find in any other religion.

Mary, the mother of Jesus, is respected as one of the four most righteous women
in Islam. The other three being the Prophet Muhammad’s first wife Khadijah, his
daughter Fatimah, and Pharoh’s wife Aasiyah (peace be upon them all). She is
mentioned more times in the Qur'an than in the entire New Testament. As a
matter of fact, there is a complete chapter, titled Mary, in the Qur’an.

According to the Qur'an, Jesus (peace be upon him) was born miraculously by
the will of God without a father. His mother is regarded as a chaste and virtuous
woman and is a highly respected, as I said before.

Islam acknowledges Prophet Jesus (peace be upon him) as one of the mightiest
Prophets of God. As a matter of fact, the Qur’an lists a total of 25 prophets and
they all are Prophets of Muslims as well. Islam is the only religion where belief in
all of these prophets including Jesus is part of our faith, and without which we
cannot be Muslims.

The Qur'an declares and accepts the virgin birth of Jesus (peace be upon him).
Muslims believe in the second coming Jesus (peace be upon him). The major
difference between Islam and Christianity is that Islam does not accept the
divinity of any individual. This includes the Prophet Jrsus (peace be upon him).
This is due to the fact that Islam is based on the Oneness of God where the
belief in One Allah is paramount and supreme.

Islam recognizes many miracles performed by the Prophet of Christianity and

many of them are verified by the Qur’an.

And one final point: The Christians are listed as “The People of the Books”
along with the Jews, in the Qur’an. The Qur’an also mentions that the people
who are closet to Muslims are the Christians.
 7

So brothers and sisters, please welcome our new sister in the fold of Islam
warmly and help her help yourselves in the cause of Allah (SWT). Her family is
our family and her relatives are our relatives. May Allah, the Most Exalted, help
all of us to be the true brothers and sisters of this Ummah, this community, in the
path of One and Only True God, Rabbul a’alamin.

Ameen, Allaahumma Ameen.

Let us pray to Allah (SWT):

• Allahummaghfir lil’ muslimeena wal muslimaat,

• wal mouamineena wal mouminaat,
• al-ahyaa’ee minhum wal amwaat,
• innakaa samee’un mujibud da’waat.
• Rabbana laa tuzigh quloobanaa,
• ba’da ith haday tanaa
• wahab lanaa milla dunka rahma.
• innakaa antal wah-haab.
• Rabbi ja'alni muqeemus salaati,
• wamin dur-riy-yati,
• rabbanaa wata qabbal du'aa.
• Rabbigh firlee wali waali dayya,
• walil mu'mineena yawma yaqoomul hisaab.
• Sub'haanaka rabbika
• rabbil 'izzati 'ammaa yusifoon,
• wa salaamun 'alal mursaleen,
• wal hamdu lil-laahi rabbil aalameen.
• Ibaa dal laah:
• In nal laaha ya’a muru bil adli wal ihsani
• wa ee ta’ee dhil qurbaa
• wa yanhaa anil fahshaa’ee wal munkaree wal bagh’yi
• ya ee zukum la allakum tadhakkaroon.
• fadh ku rooni adh kur kum was kuru li wa la tak furun.
• wa aa qimus salaah