A Lesson Before Dying By Ernest J.

Gaines Page # Chapter What the text says No, I did not go to the trial, I did not hear the verdict, because I knew all the time what it would be.

Angelica Rodriguez: Reading Log 4/9/13 What I say I find it unjust how the law doesnt help African Americans just because they are black. In this racist society, African Americans are immediately found guilty despite the given evidence. Black people like Jefferson arent being given a fair trial. The judge, lawyers, and jury are all white and so blacks are receiving a trial by their oppressors. To Grant, there was no point in having to go to the trial because he knew that Jefferson would be found guilty. Miss Emma has a reason for wanting Jefferson to be a man and not a hog when they execute him. Through Jefferson, she wants to get rid of that Southern stereotype that black men are animals and not humans. This stereotype is a cruel insult and only shows the attitude of racists whites towards blacks. This stereotype dehumanizes African Americans by comparing them to animals. Thus, Miss Emma wants Jefferson to die a man. To die with dignity in order to prove to the whites that black people are more than hogs. Miss Emmas reason for choosing Grant to make Jefferson know hes a man is because he is a teacher. Being a graduate from a University, Grant gains status and respect because of all the education he was able to achieve. However, because he knows so much, he is sort of obligated to help out his community. I just feel sorry for Grant because people rely on him to bring about change, but that only causes a burden on him. This quote presents a conflict. Grant is insecure and doesnt believe himself capable of making a difference in whats left of Jeffersons life. I understand why Grant never wanted to even visit Jefferson in the first place. It doesnt make sense trying to teach someone something when the own teacher doesnt even know how things should be done. However, Grant was being pressured by his aunt, Miss Emma, and the Reverend to change Jeffersons mindset to that of a mans and so now he must figure out a way how to.

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I dont want them to kill no hogI want a man to go to that chair, on his own two feet.

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I want the teacher visit my boy. I want the teacher make him know hes not a hog, hes a man. I want him know that fore he go to that chair, Mr. Henri.

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What do I say to him? Do I know what a man is? Do I know how a man is supposed to die? Im still trying to find out how a man should live. Am I supposed to tell someone how to die who has never lived?

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Exactly what Im trying to do here with you now: to make you responsible young men and young ladies. But you, you prefer to play with bugs. You refuse to study your arithmetic, and you prefer writing slanted sentences instead of straight ones.

I am angry at the way Grant treats his students. He deals with them harshly, punishing them for tiny mistakes they make. They are just kids and shouldnt be treated this way. Kids arent perfect. As a matter of fact, no one is perfect. However, I understand that the reason Grant grows frustrated with them is because he cares for them and wants them to thrive in life. When Grant sees that the students dont exhibit the concentration that will help them succeed, he feels disgusted by them. He convinces himself that they cant make anything of themselves if they keep doing things wrong and dont focus. I agree with Grants motive to wait and see how he should respond to the whites. For a black and educated man like Grant, he must know the appropriate time when to show his cleverness and when to live to that racist expectation of a black man. For Grant and any other black person, it is complicated to talk to a white. A black person doesnt want to show a lack of knowledge because then that just proves the stereotype that the black community is ignorant. However, blacks also dont want to show they are too smart to the whites because then the whites feel offended and in a way it challenges their superiority. If the blacks challenge the whites superiority, the blacks will suffer the consequences. I am very frustrated by the superintendents comment. He is basically saying how black boys and girls should start preparing themselves for their future manual labor jobs. However, it is ironic how the superintendent is fat and talking about how exercise is important for the body. This gives insight on how while the blacks are working in the field, getting a meager wage, and starving, the whites are indulging in lifes pleasures. It surprised me to know how African Americans in the South had only two options in life. One is to run away in order to be able to live life. By running away, one leaves most of the racism behind and is able start anew. The other option is to stay in their community, but only to be broken down by the white racist society. Grant and Matthew Antoine stayed and so by staying they are brought down to the level of a beast. Since they stayed, these men were never able to know how to live life. It saddens me to hear Jefferson say this. Ever since he was put in jail, he seemed to have lost faith. He acts like his life has lost meaning and doesnt care about anything anymore. To him, there is no difference between chicken and dirt because he considers himself

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To show too much intelligence would have been an insult to them. To show a lack of intelligence would have been a greater insult to me. I decided to wait and see how the conversation would go.

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In other words, hard work was good for the young body. Picking cotton, gathering potatoes, pulling unions, working in the garden---all of that was good exercise for a growing boy or girl. I cant tell you anything about lifeWhat do I know about life? I stayed here. Theres nothing but ignorance here. You want to know about life? Well, its too late. Forget it. Juts go on and be the nigger you were born to be, but forget about life. Chicken, dirt, it dont matter

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a hog. A hog doesnt care about what he eats or what happens to him. The humiliation I had to go through, going into that mans kitchenNow going up to that jailTo search my body each time as if Im some kind of common criminalAll the things you wanted me to escape by going to school. Years ago, Professor Antoine told me that if I stayed here, they were going to break me down to the nigger I was born to be. But he didnt tell me that my aunt would help them do it." He knelt down on the floor and put his head inside the bag and started eating, without using his hands. He even sounded like a hog. I feel very sorry for Grant. The responsibilities, like having to teach Jefferson how die like a man, imposed on Grant by his community makes him perform duties that are humiliating. He thought that the reason why he was sent to a University was to avoid humiliations that the whites make him go through like entering through the back door and being searched. I also feel sorry for Grant because he feels like he has been betrayed by his own people who by putting these responsibilities on him, lets the white man treat him like an inferior, criminal, and nigger that black people supposedly are. However, it was not the intention of his community to humiliate him. He is the only person that could help them. I strongly disagree with Jeffersons actions. By acting like a hog, he is giving in to what the whites have said about him. What Jefferson should be doing instead is act defiantly to show that blacks are capable of acting with dignity and self-respect. However, Jefferson does not share this vision as he prefers to share the white mans opinion about himself by acting like an animal.

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You know the answer yourself, I agree with Vivians comment to Grant. Grant has Grant. You love them more tried to run away before and there has always been than you hate this place. something that makes him come back. Grants desire to run away is because he wants to avoid the humiliation he suffers in the South for being black. Grant thinks that by running away his problems will be solved. However, because he feels he has an obligation with his people, he has stayed in the South. He has an obligation to protect the people he loves from the racism and injustice suffered and this is what keeps him from leaving. I came back, which pleased my aunt. But I had been running in place ever since, unable to accept what used to be my life, unable to leave it. I found this passage sort of confusing. I think what it is trying to say is that Grant has not been able to accept his life in his community. That is because he hates the racism, discrimination, and humiliation white people make him and his people experience. Even though he hates his community, he is also unable to leave it to start a new life. That is because there is something inside of him that prevents him from extracting himself from the people in his community and this is what causes him to keep running in place.

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Its rustic, all right. Probably the most rustic place you will ever visit. Pastoral, she said.

I disagree with how Grant expresses his home to Vivian. Although the term rustic Grant uses and the term pastoral that Vivian uses to describe the house means the same thing, both terms carry different connotations. When Grant uses the word rustic, he isnt taking pride in the home that reflects his familys background and heritage. The term rustic suggests a lack of elegance and sophistication. Moreover, the term pastoral that Vivian uses suggests a peaceful and calm natural lifestyle, which is a more positive term to use. I also found this passage puzzling. I think what is trying to be said here is that Tante Lou and the other ladies praise Vivian for the qualities she possesses. She has good manners, goes to church, loves Grant, and loves her own mother. To be considered a person of quality, one needs to possess these things because these are assets that makes someone be worth a lot. I disagree with Jeffersons actions. I think he should control himself especially in front of Miss Emma. It must be really painful for Miss Emma to see how Jefferson is behaving. By saying he is a hog, Jefferson is embodying all the stereotypes whites heap on blacks. Miss Emma doesnt want him to die with the mindset of a hog and that is why she is angry every time he addresses himself that way. All Miss Emma wants is for Jefferson to fight the stereotype imposed on blacks and die like a man and not like an animal. I understand why Jefferson is full of anger. Although he doesnt say it, Jefferson is angry and shameful at being called a hog. He shows this by calling himself a hog and eating out of the bag the way he does. Jefferson needs someone there to get out all the anger he feels. It is also implied through his actions that Jefferson as a matter of fact does need Grant there to help him get himself out of the stereotype he has come to embody. That of being a hog. I agree with what Grant is telling Jefferson. Jefferson has an obligation to make Miss Emma happy after all the years she has cared for him. The thing that Miss Emma expects from Jefferson is to die like a man and not like a hog. Jeffersons current behavior hurts Miss Emma because he isnt acting like a man. When he learns to die like a man, with dignity, Jefferson will make her the happiest woman on earth. He owes her this favor.

Youre a lady of quality. Quality aint cheap. Pg. 116 15

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You aint no hog, you hear me? You aint no hog. Thats all Im is, he said. Fattening up to She slapped him.

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He was full of anger---and who could blame him? ---but he was no fool. He needed me, and he wanted me here, if only to insult me.

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You owe something, Jefferson. Not to me. Surely not to that sheriff out there. But to your grandmother. You must show her some understanding, some kind of love.

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She was right; I was not happy. I had heard the same carols all my life, seen the same little play, with the same mistakes in grammarNext year it would be the same, and the year after that, the same again. Vivian said things were changing. But where were they changing? Twelve white men say a black man must die, and another white man sets the date and time without consulting one black person. Justice?

I comprehend Grants unhappiness. He came to realize that trying to teach and change his black community is futile. It is futile because whatever he does, at the end of the day nothing in his community will have changed. The kids he teaches will end up just like their parents working on the plantation and etc This has been the case for many past years so what makes him think that things are going to change now. Although he wants to help his community, he feels powerless to do so. I definitely understand Grants anger at the injustice being made. It is not fair that the oppressors of African Americans have control over their lives. Whites have complete the power to decide when and how a black person should die. However, this is unfair because white people arent taking into consideration the thoughts of the black people on what should be done to another black person. It would have been fairer if the decision to execute Jefferson at a certain time and day was equally decided by both races instead of having one dominant race take control and decide. I feel sad for the black men in the South because they are expected as men to protect and stand up for their women. The reason why I feel sad for them is because they also have to carry the burden of those who left their responsibilities behind. Those men who stayed in the community to bring about change, are being held onto by the women who are counting on them to make them proud. However, sooner or later these burdens imposed on men will break them. They will also fail as men because they will also be broken by the racism and cruelty there is in their society. Their only option to not carry these burden is to also run away, but then that means they are leaving these burdens for another man to pick up. I am happy to see progress in Jefferson. For the first time since hes been in jail, he finally expresses his desire to have something. By telling Grant that he wants a whole gallon of ice cream for himself, he is beginning to act like a human again. He is communicating in a positive way compared to before when he would not speak or when he would simply act like a hog. I am glad that Grant was able to find a way to reach Jefferson. He did this by getting Jefferson out of the isolation he was in. By giving Jefferson a notebook where he could write down his feelings and a radio that

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So each time a male child is born, they hope he will be the one to change this vicious cycle---which he never does. Because even though he wants to change it, and maybe even tries to change it, it is too heavy a burden because of all the others who have run away and left their burden behind. So he, too, must run away if he is to hold onto his sanity and have a life of his own. I want me a whole gallona ice cream

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Last Friday was the time he ever asked me a question or answered me without accusing me for his condition. I dont

know if you all know what Im talking about. It seems you dont. But I found a way to reach him for the first time. I want you to show them the difference between what they think you are and what you can be. To them, youre nothing but another nigger---no dignity, no heart, no love for your people. You can prove them wrong. I knew now what they were talking about and who they were talking about, but I told myself to keep it coolBut he was getting up with too much confidence, and I hit him before he had a chance to protect himself

he could listen to, Grant is able to bring Jefferson back into society. Jefferson has started communicating more and opening up to Grant. This is evident that Jefferson is making progress and slowing leaving that hog mindset behind to develop a mans mindset. I agree with Grants encouraging words to Jefferson. By dying with dignity, Jefferson will show the white community that he is not an animal, as they think he is, but a dignified man, as he can be if he tries. If Jefferson dies a man, not only is he helping get rid of that stereotype that for so long has followed the black community, but he will also make Miss Emma proud. I too would have said something if someone else was talking bad about my friend. Although I do not agree with Grants violent actions, I understand why he did it. This situation demonstrates that Grant feels obligated to defend Jefferson. Grants and Jeffersons relationship has grown that it is only right for Grant to defend Jeffersons honor from people who are not worthy to even talk about him. Here Grant is playing a hero, defending blacks from the racist attitudes of the whites. I was confused when Vivian told Grant this. I think what she meant was that she wasnt mad at Grant for defending Jeffersons honor when he fought at the bar. She wasnt mad because she understand why Grant did it. However, she does feel disgusted because of his behavior and how he could have gotten killed. If this were the case, Grant was not being considerate of Vivians feelings if something were to happen to the one she loves. Grant never thought how his behavior could have affected her. I agree with what Reverend Ambrose is telling Grant. Even though Grant went to school, Grant is not educated. To be educated means know your people and their sufferings. It is to be aware of the sacrifices your people went through and how they have lied many times to make life endurable. Once you become educated of these things, you use this knowledge to go back and help out your people. These are the things that make people educated, not books or school like most think. I am glad that Jefferson is aware of how he can give back to his community by dying like a man and not a hog. He has the ability to provide a form of salvation to all the people in his community by carrying the cross,

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Never was mad. Just disgusted. Pg. 209 26

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And thats the difference between me and you, boy; that make me the educated one, and you the gump. I know my people. I know what they gone through. I know they done cheated themself, lied to themself ---hoping that one they all love and trust can come back and help relieve the pain. Me, Mr. Wiggins. Me. Me to take the cross. Your cross, nannans cross, my own cross. Me, Mr. Wiggins. This old

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stumbling nigger, Yall axe a lot, Mr. Wiggins.

like God did, for all his people. He can give them something theyve never had, something they could not achieve on their own. That is pride in their race and in themselves, but only if he stands and dies like a man. Im proud of Jefferson. He was able to grow as a person. He realized his self-worth which enabled him to start acting like a human again. He was able to grasp that he was more than the hog the white people described him as and he was able to see this thanks to Grant. Jefferson understood what his life and death meant to his community and he just wanted them to know he died a strong, brave man not just for himself, but for them as well. I find it rude of the white clerk to express herself this way toward someone who is about to be executed. Compared to the black communitys views of the execution, the white community sees it as a necessary evil that should be taken care of for their own safety. The black community sees it as another occasion in which an innocent black man is going to die unjustly just because the white people decided that thats what should be done. I am delighted that Jefferson stood and walked like a man. Jefferson should be seen as hero. A hero who was courageous and brave enough to walk up to that chair and face his fate like a man. He did it for Miss Emma because he knew how proud he would make her and because he owed her this favor.

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good by mr wigin tell them im strong tell them im a man good by mr wigin im gon ax paul if he can bring you this

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The clerk told the woman that her little boy has asked her last night what was going to happen at the jail today, and she said that the sheriff just had to put an old bad nigger away and she didnt want him to worry about anything. He was the strongest man in that crowed roomTell Nannan I walkedIm a witness. Straight he walked.

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