Answers to Interview on Emotional Intelligence for B. R.

Parents Magazine Does the definition encompass more than this, do you think? A little history - Researchers had been studying aspects of emotional intelligenc since the mid 1960s and social and emotional learning or SEL as an aspect of childhood education since the 70s. The researchers who first measured and provided a definition of emotional intelligence in 1990 described it as the capacity to process emotional information accurately and efficiently, including the capacity to perceive, assimilate, understand, and manage emotion. The term was first popularized in Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, a 1995 best-seller by psychologist Daniel Goleman, Ph.D., who was featured on the cover of TIME magazine. He stated that EQ was as powerful, and at times more powerful, than IQ" in predicting success in life and argued that emotional intelligence can be taught and that schools should teach it systematically. . . . By 2005, tens of thousands of schools worldwide offered children programs for SEL. In 2011 Goleman proposed that e motional intelligence has four parts: self-awareness, managing our emotions, empathy, and social skills. Researchers have disparate visions of emotional intelligence - some define it as an ability and relate EI specifically to interactions between emotions and cognitions - using emotions to enhance thinking and thought to regulate emotions. Others include motivational components such as persistence in adversity, the motivation to connect with others, competency in accurate perception/appraisal of emotional events, communications skills, and the awareness of and ability to express emotions and to articulate emotional experiences. Those with mixed models view EI as incorporating abilities and qualities, such as personality traits, with some embracing a multitude of qualities. Other groups have focused on personality traits that relate more directly to emotional functioning (e.g., assertiveness, empathy) with EI reflecting an overarching personality factor that represents a persons emotional self-confidence. Some dimensions are clearly common across almost all theories: specifically, the ability to recognize (be aware of), express, manage and control ones emotions, and the ability to perceive and empathize with the emotions of others, and thereby, develop and maintain positive social relationships. What is the importance of fostering emotional intelligence in children? While historically emotions were thought to interfere with cognitive processing, it is now acknowledged that, when managed appropriately, emotions can provide essential information about how to solve daily problems. From this perspective, the intelligent use of emotions is considered essential for psychological adaptation. SEL programs work to develop core competencies: self-awareness, social awareness, self-management, relationship skills and responsible decision-making. When children are taught these skills, they learn how to foster their own well-being and become more resilient. According to the 2009 Healthy Development: Summit on Young Childrens Mental Health Promoting optimal social and emotional development in school and day care programs and at home leads to better school achievement, less need for special education services, better physical health (even into adulthood), fewer children in the juvenile justice system. In short, children are at home, in school, and out of trouble. Further, it leads to success in school and life and prevents mental problems. Chronic anxiety, anger, and other feelings of distress intrude into a childs thoughts, thus decreasing the ability to attend and to process information which is critical to new learning. According to Dr. Goleman, When we are upset, the emotional centers can hijack the thinking centers, rendering us unable to think clearly, focus on the task at hand, perceive in an undistorted manner, and even make it harder to remember whats relevant to what were doing. Research indicates that SEL programs improve mental health and behavior, boost childrens social competence, and create more positive school climates. Some research has found a modest correlation between social-emotional competencies and academic achievement. Other research has found that high EI impacts classroom achievement more in children with low IQ, and hypothesizes it helps them manage the challenges associated with lower cognitive aptitude. According to a meta-analysis of 213 studies of SEL programs, students who participated in SEL programs gained an average of 11 percentage points

more on achievement tests than youngsters who didnt take part in the programs. Some studies also show major gains long after an SEL program has ended. In A Seattle project, 808 elementary school children who were in an SEL program from first through sixth grades had more positive outcomes than comparable children with no SEL: At age 18, they reported significantly lower rates of violence and alcohol use; 91 percent completed high school (versus 81 percent); and at ages 24 and 27, they exhibited lower rates of major depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety and social phobia. Parents grasping the importance of emotional development, and providing the environment and experiences that support it as early as possible, help their children in a variety of ways with lasting effects into adulthood. Research suggests the best parenting would start prior to conception. By eating healthy, avoiding use of alcohol, recreational drugs, or unnecessary prescription medications, getting adequate sleep, minimizing stress and using techniques, strategies, activities to maintain calm within yourself and your environment before trying to get pregnant, you create an environment for the development of a healthy and well-functioning brain within a healthy body for your child The earlier emotional education begins, the better. Being attentive to the social and emotional needs of your infants, toddlers, and young children is a great way to start them off and will make the transition to adolescence easier, for you as well as them. Studies have indicated that social and emotional functioning patterns, which begin to stabilize around age 8 are predictive of behavior and mental health later in life. Thus, the behaviors that patterns need to be learned ******** ****** -Do you think that emotional intelligence is just as importance as general intelligence. It appears a common misconception has arisen due to people applying the subtitle of Golemans first book on EI - Why it can matter more than IQ - to domains like academic achievement, where it does not apply except under certain limited circumstances. Goleman believes EI trumps IQ primarily in those soft domains where intellect is relatively less relevant for success and qualities such as emotional self-regulation and empathy may be more salient than purely cognitive abilities. Some of those domains are of major importance in our lives: For example, health, to the extent that disturbing emotions and toxic relationships have been identified as risk factors. People who can manage their lives with more self-awareness and have the ability to calm themselves in stressful situations seem to have a measurable health advantage, as confirmed by many studies. Another area wouild be romantic love and many types of personal relationships in which very smart people can do very dumb things. Over the past two decades, it has been asserted that social-emotional competencies are integral to effective leadership and work group outcomes. Traditionally, intelligence has been seen as a if not the primary factor in effective leadership. However, some research has shown a weak relationship between effective leadership and general mental ability but most research findings about leadership in business and professions present a more complex picture. Because IQ indicates the amount cognitive complexity a person can process, it is usually good in predicting the level of technical expertise that person can master, whether he can attain the threshold competencies needed to get and keep a particular job, and whether he can handle the cognitive challenges that job position presents. IQ, then, plays a sorting function in determining what jobs people can hold. However, having enough cognitive intelligence to hold a given job does not by itself predict whether one will be a star performer or rise to management or leadership positions in ones field. Hundreds, or even thousands, of studies have shown that IQ predicts the number of rungs a person can likely climb within the vast majority of careers. But even within an intellectually demanding profession, IQ does little to predict which of a talented pool of candidates will become the strongest leader. In part this is because of what psychologists and other test developers call the floor effect: Everyone at the top levels of a large organization or a given profession has the needed intellect and

expertise. Often a high IQ has been needed to get to that level. Thus, EI abilities emerge as the type of competency that best predicts who in that group of very smart people will lead most ably. Positive changes in childrens social and academic functioning have been demonstrated with SEL programs. However, it is not clear how much change can be attributed to development in EI separate from changes in personality and cognitive development or other factors. Some theorists and researchers ask whether EI is an independent factor, separate from intelligence and from well-established personality factors (extroversion) and temperamental traits (such as innately rhythmic patterns in sleeping, eating, and so forth). Some data indicates that, for self-report measures of EI, there is a very high overlap with personality measures. To assess its importance, EI first needs to be able to be measured as a distinct personal quality that promotes effective social functioning. The concept of EI is wide-ranging and various qualities involved are hard to specify and thus difficult to assess. -How can parents help children achieve emotional intelligence? modeling? identifying emotions? Certain brain structures appear to be involved in the development of EI, primarily the frontal lobes for regulating & controlling emotions & the frontal and temporal lobes in supporting emotionally intelligent reasoning. In the natural course of a childs development, the brain circuitry necessary for abilities such as attending, calming onesself, and tuning in to others feelings are a work in progress these neural systems are growing and developing. In fact, the final stage of neural development in the brain is not completed until the mid twenties. During this developmental period, we can help by giving our children systematic lessons that will strengthen those budding capacities as well as providing a nurturing family environment that supports the unique individual that is your child. The organization and functional capacity of the human brain depends upon an extraordinary set and sequence of developmental and environmental experiences. Unfortunately, this elegant sequence is vulnerable to extreme, repetitive, or abnormal patterns of stress during critical periods of childhood brain development that can impair, often permanently, the activity of major neuroregulatory systems, with profound and lasting neurobehavioral consequences. Evidence from neurobiology and epidemiology suggests that early life stress such as abuse and related adverse experiences often cause enduring brain dysfunction that, in turn, affects health and quality of life throughout the lifespan. Thus, the quality of interactions a child experiences, especially with his or her caregivers, clearly affects emotional development and also can affect brain development and functioning as well, particularly in cases of early trauma, abuse or neglect. Daniel Siegel, a psychiatrist at UCLA, founded the field of interpersonal neurobiology, which explains the brain basis for the ways in which we bond with others. He says the interactions between a parent and child actually are neurally active ingredients in the wiring of the brain as its growing. Emotional intelligence also reflects the quality of the childs role models for expressing and managing emotion, and the extent of the childs exposure to various different role models. If I get angry and scream at my husband and call him names like lazy or stupid when he does something different from how I want it done, my childs kindergarten teacher is likely to complain that he gets angry whenever he doesnt get his way and calls other children names. We can help teach our children how to recognize, label and address feelings - such as self-calming to tune their emotions down if they are too intense, reducing the likelihood of impulsive and/or negative behavior - and how to express them appropriately. But, if that is not what we model, we teach in vain. Our emotional reactions and consequent behaviors are also strongly related to personal beliefs and evaluations of self, others, and the world - mental models we build that represent how we see ourselves in relation to the social world and how we see that world as being. These mental models appear to arise through our experiences and what we observe and overhear as well as what we are told during early childhood and become so interwoven with our sense of what is that they are often not consciously perceived by us. Yet they can have profound effects on our perception and interpretation of events and interactions, filtering the way we apprehend them, which then directs our emotional reactions and often drives consequent behavioral responses.For example, if my filter is based on a model of me in the world shaped by a belief that I am unimportant to others, I am likely to hear a true and reasonable explanation for my stylist cancelling/rescheduling my hair cut, but think I guess one of her important

clients needed an appointment, so shes making me wait another week. I would then feel hurt, rejected, discounted, angry, etc. - I would be less comfortable at the next appointment; I would be less likely to chat with her about my life or ask about her daughter or the house she is building; I might even be curt or irritable with her - leading to a rather negative interaction for both of us . . . and she would have no clue why. Do you have any tips, advice? (Note: I have used she and he alternately, rather than he/she) C The goodness of fit between child temperamentand caregiver is important to child mental health. (2009 Healthy Development: Summit) Pay attention to the unique temperamental, emotional, cognitive, and physical qualities your child was born with, and work at understanding, accepting and respecting them. Each child is her own person - not clay to be molded by parental expectations or to match the parents temperament. Your willingness to fit your parenting to the unique being that is your child will be a major factor in her realizing her potential and becoming a well-functioning adult. C Build a language between you and your child which involves talking about feelings; describe your feelings out loud; ask how your kids feel; help your child recognize that he can have more than one feeling at the same time and how confusing that can be. C Demonstrate socially and emotionally competent behaviors as much as you can. As one of your childs primary role models, it is important for you to keep growing in self-awareness and other-awareness (empathy), in your ability to demonstrate emotional self-regulation and thoughtful problem-solving. C Keep a journal to help you be more reflective about your emotional self and behavior. Encourage older children to keep a feelings journal to increase their self-awareness and facilitate self-reflection. C Let your son know how important he is. Tell your daughter you love her. Listen to your child with your full attention. Spend special time with her. Show him that he is important, accepted and loved for being himself. Children need a secure base from which to venture out. Loving acceptance (unconditional love) provides the foundation for that base. (Note: This is separate from disciplining inappropriate behavior.) C Look for teachable moments that occur naturally in your day-to-day life, moments that enable you to discuss moods, conflict resolution or managing feelings with your child. C Try to find engaging toys and products which are pro-social and foster emotional competencies. C Touch your child affectionately and respectfully, attuning yourself to his needs and respecting his boundaries - a teenager may refuse a kiss one night and cuddle up to you while watching TV the next. C Provide the level of structure and protection appropriate to your childs developmental level. Work at letting go and encouraging independent thinking as well as behavior appropriate to his age. Encourage your older child to question ideas and beliefs respectfully by listening to and discussing hers with respect. C Teach emotional competency through personal stories, and discussions of current events, movies, books, etc. Help your child to recognize and talk about emotions of the characters and how they expressed them; ask which characters exhibited unregulated emotions that drove their behavior, leading to unfortunate or unhealthy consequences and which characters were able to integrate their feelings and thinking to make good decisions. Be respectful of your childs perceptions - if they seem really off, try to ask nonjudgemental questions to help you understand their thinking. (Example: Can you help me understand what the character said or did that led you to that conclusion? not How could you possibly think....?!?) How you respond will determine whether you are able to engage your child in a dialogue that facilitates thinking or if your child will tune you out.