German Wedding Customs

Traditional wedding customs are an important part of weddings around the globe. Each culture has their own unique customs which make weddings meaningful and enjoyable. German weddings are rich with numerous customs which would make a wonderful addition to the wedding of any bride or groom with German heritage. This is a look at many of the traditional German wedding customs. The Hochzeitslader has the honor of inviting the guests to the wedding. Many Customs Take Place Long Before The Wedding Day Some of the German wedding customs begin long before the bride and groom ever meet. There is a very old tradition that when a baby girl is born, her family should

plant several trees in her honor. At the time of her engagement, the trees are cut down to pay for her dowry (this old custom is probably not so widespread in modern times!). Another tradition is that before she is engaged, a young woman begins saving pennies. Those pennies will one day be used to purchase her wedding shoes (hochzeit-schuhe). This tradition is meant to ensure that the marriage will start off on the right foot. On the day of the wedding, the bride's mother puts dill and bride into her daughter's right shoe for luck. A wonderful old Bavarian custom is the Hochzeitslader. Rather than mail out invitations, the Hochzeitslader is sent around to personally invite each guest to the wedding. He dresses in fancy attire adorned with ribbons and flowers. As the official inviter, he goes around the village from door to door extending a personal rhyming invitation to all on the guest list. The way that guests accept the invitation is to pin one of the ribbons from the Hochzeitslader's attire onto his hat. Then they are to invite him into their homes to share a drink or two. When the guest list is long, this ritual can take a couple of days to complete! Something else that will take place before the wedding is the junggesellenabschied, also known as the bachelor party, in which the groom and his friends hit the pubs for a last bash before he gets married. Civil Marriages Are Required The laws regarding marriage are different in Germany than in the United States. In Germany, as in much of Europe, a religious officiant cannot legally marry two people. The official state-sanctioned service must be performed by a justice of the peace, called a standesbeamte. The civil ceremony which makes the union legal is performed in the town Registry office. This is generally a fairly small ceremony, attended only by the bride and groom with their immediate family and closest friends. The bridal couple will dress well, but rather simply. It is usual for the bride to wear a simple dress to her civil ceremony, although if a larger church wedding will not follow, she may opt to wear a white wedding dress. At the conclusion of the civil ceremony, the newlyweds and their witnesses often go out to dinner together. China is smashed for good luck at the Polterabend - the more the better! The Polterabend Brings Good Luck The civil marriage ceremony is only the beginning of the fun. German weddings traditionally span the course of several days, and involve lots of fun and games for all. Within a few days of the marriage at the Registry, most couples will have a large church wedding with a reception

to follow. Before that, however, there is another tradition which occurs, the polterabend . In cultures around the globe, there are longstanding superstitions regarding the evil spirits which were thought to be drawn to brides. Many of the wedding customs with which we are familiar involve making noise to scare away evil spirits. In Germany, this is achieved during the polterabend . The night before the church wedding, the bride and groom have an informal gathering with their friends, family, and neighbors. China dishes are smashed to bits, with the idea that it will bring good luck to the bride and groom. It is important to note that only china and porcelain are used, never glass; breaking glass is considered to be bad luck. The breaking of the china during the polterabend also symbolizes that while some dishes may break, the marriage never will. Once the smashing is over, the bride and groom work together to clear away the shards, which represents how well they will work together as a team during their marriage. Many couples have church weddings following the required civil service. Hochzeit: Large Church Weddings Follow Civil Ceremonies Large church weddings (hochzeitmeans wedding) commonly follow the small civil ceremonies required by German law. They are in many ways similar to American church weddings, but with some clear distinctions. One main difference is that the bride and groom process up the aisle together. They are already officially married at this point of course, so it would not make much sense for the bride's father to give her away to the groom, as is customary in American weddings. Additionally, there are no bridesmaids or groomsmen processing down the aisle in a German ceremony. Some couples may opt to have a flower girl, who will wear a pretty dress and a wreath of flowers. The religious ceremony will often last as long as an hour and a half, and includes sermons, singing, and a Nuptial Mass if the couple is Catholic.

Lily-of-the-valley is a popular wedding flower. Brutkleid (bride's attire) and Brutigams Kleidung (groom's attire) The typical German bride will wear a white bridal gown, but long trains are rare. Ballgown style wedding gowns without trains are popular. The over-the-top fairy princess style sought by so many American brides is not the norm in Germany. Fingertip veils are the most common length, although floor length veils are frequently worn by Catholic brides. If the bride does choose to wear a veil, she will keep it on at least through the first dance at the reception following the ceremony. Grooms wear black suits or tuxedos, traditionally. Popular flowers for the bride's bouquet are roses, orchids, and lilies-of-the-valley. May is an especially favored month for German weddings, which also happens to be the time when lilies-of-the-valley are in season. In fact, the dainty white blossoms are called Bells of May in Germany. The bride many also carry a long length of white ribbon with her bouquet, which serves a special purpose after the ceremony. Another thing which is customary for a German bride to carry is a little salt and bread, which is intended to bring a good harvest. The groom then carries a bit of grain to bring good luck and wealth. Something which is very different about German weddings from the American perspective is that when a couple becomes engaged, the woman does not wear a diamond engagement ring! The newlyweds wear matching simple wedding bands (eheringe) once wed, and they are worn on the right hand, not the left. Certainly all brides like to wear special sets of wedding jewelry to enhance their wedding dresses, and German brides are no exception. Another interesting wedding custom is a little game which takes place between the bride and groom. At some point during the church service when the couple is kneeling, the groom will intentionally kneel on the bridal gown, as a funny way of indicating that he will wear the pants in the marriage. Before anyone takes offense at this, one needs to know what comes next: when the couple are instructed to stand up again, the bride will take care to step on the groom's foot, to let it be known that she will hold the upper hand!

Log sawing, anyone? Log Sawing, Ransom, And Rice Mark The End Of The Wedding At the end of the church wedding, the newlyweds exit the church. They may find their path blocked by ribbons strung across the door by well-wishers. The groom is expected to ransom their way free by promising a party to the door-blockers. Something else that may take place right at the end of the church ceremony is baumstamm sgen. This is a fun custom in which a log is set out on sawhorses in front of the church. The bride and groom are required to saw through the log together. It is a symbol of their teamwork, and how well they work together to complete the task is supposed to be a sign of how well they will work together at other chores during their marriage. Once the newlyweds head down the steps of the church, they will be showered with rice. This is an ancient custom in many cultures, as the rice symbolizes fertility. Legend says that every grain of rice that sticks in the bride's hair represents another future child. Once the log is sawed and the rice is tossed, it is time for the newlyweds to make their way to the reception site. The bride and groom make their exit in a car or carriage decorated with beautiful flowers. The white ribbon that the bride carried is cut into lengths and distributed to the wedding guests. They tie a piece of ribbon to the antennas of their cars before heading off to the reception with a flurry of happy honks (remember how wedding customs involving lots of noise are intended to drive off evil spirits and bring good fortune; this is a modern variation, of course). Cars passing by will honk back for good luck.

The traditional rice toss is an ancient symbol of fertility. Making of a Baumkuchen. Waltzing And Hochzeitssuppe At The Reception Then it is time for the reception. Wedding receptions in Germany are all-night parties, just as they are in much of Europe. The party begins with the German version of the cocktail hour, during which cakes, coffee, and tortes are served. During this time, the newlyweds will have their pictures taken by the photographer. Next comes the first dance (the hochzeitstanz, or wedding dance) for the newlyweds, which is traditionally a waltz. Then the bride will dance with her father and the groom will dance with his mother. After some more dancing, the party will have their formal dinner. One traditional dish is the hochzeitssuppe, or wedding soup, which is made of beef, dumplings, and vegetables. Of course, the beer and wine flow freely all night long! As in American weddings, German couples will have a special cake at their reception which they cut together. The traditional German wedding cake is a rich nut or genoise sponge cake which is soaked in liqueur or syrup. Filled with jam, marzipan, or nougat and frosted in fondant or ganache, this is a much richer cake than the classic white cake

which is traditional at American weddings. Something else which is very different is that German wedding cakes are not made in fanciful colors to match the wedding decorations; artificial colors are considered to be very tacky on a wedding cake in Germany. Another option for a German-American bride is to serve a Baumkuchen, also known as the King of Cakes. This is a very special and difficult to make dessert, which is why it is reserved for special occasions like weddings. The baker creates perfectly round cake rings by baking them on a rotisserie, before layering and frosting the confection. The Baumkuchenis also called a Tree Cake, because the layers of golden rings look like a tree when cut. The traditional bridal cup. Pranks And Games Abound At A German Wedding There are many other things which take place at German weddings.Toasting and speeches are started by the fathers of the bride and groom. At some weddings, the happy couple will share a toast from a bridal cup called the brautbecher. This is a special crystal or pewter cup made in the form of a maiden holding a cup over her head. The cup is on a hinge so it can swivel, and the maiden's skirt is also a cup to hold wine or Champagne. In a game called Who Rules the Nest?, the bride and groom simultaneously drink from thebrautbecher, the bride from the cup and the groom from the skirt. The idea of the game is that whichever person finishes their drink first will rule the nest; typically the bride wins, as her cup is smaller. It is also another good example of teamwork, as it is not so easy for two people to drink cooperatively from the same cup at the same time without spilling. Other games may also take place during the reception, including one during which the bride is kidnapped by some of the guests and spirited away to a nearby pub (this mostly

takes place only in weddings in small villages). The groom has to go and find his new wife, and when he does, he has to pay the bar tab of the kidnappers to procure her freedom! The mischievous friends of the bride and groom also may also play pranks on the newlyweds by doing things to their bridal suite. Many German newlyweds arrive at their honeymoon suite after dancing at the reception until 4 or 5 am and discover that the bed has been taken apart, the room filled with balloons, or many alarm clocks hidden around the room. After recovering from the excitement of the wedding, most German newlyweds will head off on a honeymoon for a week or two to unwind and celebrate their new marriage. Polterabend From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Polterabend is the term for a German wedding custom in which on the night before the wedding the guests break porcelain to bring luck to the couple's marriage. The belief in the effectiveness is expressed by the old adage: "Shards bring luck" (German: Scherben bringen Glck). The expression is derived from a time when the word "shard" referred to the unbroken clay pots of pottery makers, and not just the broken pieces. It was said that a full jar was a lucky thing to have, therefore the expression "shards bring luck". Contents [hide] 1 Etymology 2 Event 3 Origin 4 Regions 5 Literature [edit]Etymology The word "Polterabend" comes from German verb poltern (making a lot of noise) + noun Abend (evening). It's the common word used to mean a bachelor party in several other European countries. [edit]Event The Polterabend normally takes place in front of the house of the bride (or that of her parents), although exceptions are made for space considerations, for example. The couple generally announces the occasion but does not specifically send out individual invitations. Word spreads via word of mouth, and those with a desire to show up may do so. Many couples use this as a way of including people whom they are not able to invite to the wedding itself. Something to eat and/or drink is arranged (either provided for or requested of the guests). Oftentimes guests will bring their gifts to the Polterabend. The actual high point of the custom is the throwing onto the ground of porcelain that has been brought. However, stoneware, flowerpots or ceramics such as tiles, sinks and toilet bowls are also happily thrown items. Metal objects such as tin cans and bottle tops are brought along to the festivities. Forbidden are glasses (glass stands for happiness that should not be broken) and especially mirrors (as a broken mirror will bring seven years of bad luck). The couple must thereafter take care of cleaning up the pile of shards. This is supposed to make the couple aware that it will have to work together through difficult conditions and situations in life.

Relatively new is the so-called Polter-wedding. In this case, the wedding is combined with the Polterabend, and the smashing occurs in conjunction with the wedding reception. [edit]Origin The origin of the Polterabend is not precisely known. Some believe the Germanic tribes who threw shards to drive off evil spirits to be the origin. Others believe the heathen ritual of the shattering of clay sacrifice altars after a sacrifice to the gods to be responsible. It is possible that the Polterabend has a psychological motive: suitors who may have wished to have this bride for themselves have the opportunity to "let the steam out" in a socially appropriate manner, so that peace in the village could better be maintained. [edit]Regions The Polterabend is most often celebrated on the Friday evening before the church ceremony, even in some regions on the Thursday or Saturday evening before. If the Polterabend occurs on the eve of the wedding, the couple is permitted to leave the fest early (i.e. around midnight), so as to be fresh and without hangover on the next morning the Polterabend is traditionally celebrated with more gusto and frolicking than the actual wedding festivities. This is only the case in some parts of Germany. In Bavaria, as well as in Austria and Switzerland, bride and groom get separate bachelor/ette parties rather than a Polterabend. Some regions additionally celebrate the so-called custom of "Paube": the Paube can also be celebrated days or weeks before the wedding. On one hand, it is meant as a sort of engagement party; on the other hand, it is often coupled with the housewarming of a new shared dwelling for the couple and expresses the joy of future life together. The Paube is less raucous than the Polterabend. Normally, the father of the bride grills by the Paube. In some areas of Hesse the traditional green sauce from seven herbs is prepared; here the color green and the number seven stand for lucky charms for the couple. The Polterabend is commonly celebrated in the western parts of Poland - especially in Wielkopolska, Silesia, Kashubia, Kujawy and Kociewie, where significant German cultural influences used to be. [edit]Literature Martin P. Richter: Gelungene berraschungen fr Polterabend und Junggesellenabschied, Freiburg, Urania, 2005. ISBN 3-332-01612-1 HOME TRAVEL EXPAT Our Take on Canadian-German Wedding Traditions Posted on the 18 January 2012 by Expatgermany

This past August I married my now German husband (J.P.) in the Canadian Rockies and wanted to include some German customs in our Canadian-German wedding. Who better to ask than my German fiance? So when I asked J.P. which customs he wanted to include he shrugged and said Cant think of anything. I was in disbelief, the man who had an opinion on everything from our wedding colors to our invitations to ourchair hire to whether we should serve a plated dinner or buffet, now all of a sudden didnt have an opinion on something that I actually needed his opinion on? From a combination of attending a German wedding, speaking with German friends and Google research, I compiled a list of German wedding traditions. I soon realized that coming up with the traditions was the easy part but that actually implementing them would not be so easy as I started discarding them one by one. I didnt think the Polterabend (breaking dishes the night before the wedding to bring good luck) would go over well in a Canadian national park. Nor would the rice throwing, which is not allowed in Canadian national parks. I convinced J.P. that our guests could blow bubbles instead. He remained unconvinced but relented, eager to be a law-abiding citizen, as most Germans are. Still he took the precaution of explaining the reason for the bubbles in lieu

of rice to our German guests before the wedding, who ended up having the most fun blowing bubbles (top photo).

The log cutting Bavarian tradition was one of my favorite parts of our Canadian-German wedding. I also didnt want to walk down the aisle together as German couples normally do, believing that if we saw each other before the ceremony on our wedding day that it would bring bad luck. J.P. was fine with not walking down the aisle together but wasnt impressed that now we would have to pay for TWO hotel rooms the night before the wedding, as he wondered aloud Do all Canadians waste their money like this? I couldnt really blame him, he had lived in Swabia, a part of southern Germany where the people are famous for being tight with their money for 18 years. Still I stood my ground. I also didnt want J.P.s friends to kidnap me during the reception taking me away from my own wedding and hanging out in a local bar where J.P. would have to find me and buy a round of drinks for everyone. J.P. readily agreed to forgo this one practically pointing out that none of his German friends knew any good bars in Banff having only just arrived the day before.

According to the log cutting ceremony our marriage is off to a good start - so far so good! On the other hand I did forgo a veil as most Germans bride do (but to be honest I didnt want to wear a veil anyway). We also omitted wedding attendants and just had two witnesses sign our marriage documents as is typically done in Germany. We served as the emcee ourselves. Had I not seen this working well previously at the German wedding we attended, I would not have been so easily persuaded, but it also relieved the burden of finding an entertaining bilingual emcee. We danced, or attempted to dance, the Viennese Waltz, another German tradition for our first dance. The most obvious and fun German custom (which is really only a Bavarian one) that we integrated into our wedding was cutting of the log. Directly following the ceremony the newlyweds must work together with a a two-person saw to cut through a log. Its supposed to be symbolic of how well the couple will work together during their marriage and to show the couple that the marriage works much better when they work together. All Germans have heard of this, but none of our German guests, including J.P. had seen it before since none of them are Bavarian. We did it anyway, much to the confused look on our Canadian guests faces and the amused looks of our German guests who kept mumbling They know that just because theyre moving to Munich, that theyre not Bavarian right? It was one of my

favorite parts of our Canadian-German wedding.