The Delusion of Romantic Self-Insight

Eli J. Finkel
Northwestern University

Paul W. Eastwick
University of Texas
December 9, 2012

Modern Dating

Two Distinct Questions

Self-Insight? Sex Differences?

Sex Differences
Large sex differences in stated prefs.
Physical attractiveness: Men more than women Earning prospects: Women more than men

Research paradigms
Reports on hypothetical partners Attraction to people depicted in photographs Personal ads and responses Online dating profiles and responses

What about after men and women have met a potential partner face-to-face?

Speed-Dating

Dave

Stated Mate Preferences

Men Women

* *

Importance

5 Physically Attractive Earning Prospects Personable

Actual Mate Preferences

Correlation with Attraction

0.7 0.6 0.5 0.4 0.3 0.2 0.1 0.0 Physically Attractive

Men Women

Earning Prospects

Personable

Come on, thats just one study

Meta-Analysis
A specific person youve met face-to-face DV: Romantic evaluation
Romantic liking, attraction, satisfaction, commitment, trust, intimacy, love, passion

IV: Measure of physical attractiveness, earning prospects, or both

Participant-report Partner-report Objective assessment

Meta-Analysis
Physical attractiveness
73 articles with a total of ~28,000 participants

Earning prospects
44 articles with a total of ~46,000 participants

Meta-Analysis
Correlation with Romantic Eval.

0.7 0.6 0.5 0.4 0.3 0.2 0.1 0.0 Physically Attractive Earning Prospects

Men Women

Self-Insight?

Ignoring sex differences, do people who believe they value a certain characteristic actually prize it more than others do?

Stated/Actual Correspondence
7.0 6.0 5.0 4.0 3.0 2.0 7.0 6.0 5.0 4.0 3.0 2.0
Low Personable High Personable Low Physical Attractiveness High Physical Attractiveness

High Ideal Low Ideal

7.0 6.0 5.0 4.0 3.0 2.0

Low Earning Prospects High Earning Prospects

Liking for cereal

7.0 6.0 5.0 4.0 3.0 2.0

Low Sugar High Sugar

What about middle-aged people? And what if one is already in a relationship with the partner?

Stated/Actual Correspondence
Follow-up study: 502 Ps, average age = 41 Procedure
Intake: Romantically unattached Ps reported their mate preferences 2.5 years later: Reported on a current or a desired romantic partner

DVs
Romantic interest Marriage intentions Marital status

Stated/Actual Correspondence

Romantic Evaluation

7.0 6.5 6.0 5.5 5.0 4.5 4.0

High Ideal Low Ideal

21
-1 SD Warm Mean Warm +1 SD Warm

Conclusion

Self-Insight? Sex Differences?

Conclusion

The Limits of Profile Browsing

The Delusion of Romantic Self-Insight

Fin.
finkel@northwestern.edu faculty.wcas.northwestern.edu/eli-finkel/

Mate Preferences

He is attractive

I like this guy!

?
I ideally want someone who is attractive

Jasmine