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Decisions 2000 & 8

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Poems by
Jakob Chapman
Table of Contents
Introduction 4
This is the place 5
Maltzbier 7
Europe 9
Sixty watts 10
Paint by numbers 12
Cheetos 14
Because I love you 15
Decisions 2000 & 8 16
String theory 17
Tired of tires 18
Sleepless morning of Abraham 20
Gargoyle
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Jack Lantern 25
swarm 26
Only salivation 27
Love, love, run! 31
Jack-in-the-box 32
Breast cancer 33
Jolynn 34
Loose change 36
“little Milton” 37
40 years 38
Greener pastures 39
Reading jane eyre 40
Leave the foil on the floor 42
Carthaginian bbq 44
Rowboats 45
Patriotic 46
Dam 47
Dam #2 48
Amber 49
Grow up 52
Daily Excuses 54
Opening old wounds 56
DDS’s 57
Know-it-alls 58
Things to Tell Mom 60
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Pre-thanksgiving Christmas
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October 27th: A Monday 2008 63
Bud 65
To Margaritas 66
Tater Gun 68
Bohemian Afterthought 69
For £s Remembered 70
sleeping on the floor 72
Nuclear Sudoku 74
There is always Fear 75
Decisions 2000 & 8 #2 76
Toadstool in the Sky 77
Afterward or epilogue? 78
Decisions 2000 & 8 Jakob Chapman

Introduction

T
he year 2008 was a year of decisions for a young
poet who is trying to put together his life. This
year marked my return to my birthplace, a change
of Universities, not voting for a new president,
meeting my wife, getting engaged to my wife, and eventu-
ally marring her (with a few days to spare!). Along with
being a year of change, this year has been a year of po-
etry—images, words, and emotion. I decided to put to-
gether this collection of this year’s poetry (a few borrowed
from 2007 and a couple put together in early 2009) when I
wrote the association poem that became “Decisions 2000 &
8”. The name of the collection was not difficult to decide
as I reviewed what I had written throughout the year. I de-
cidedSample:
to write a second poem withInteractive
Hoshead the same title to wrap up
the collection.
Please It has
buybeenfull
interesting to watch this
version at collec-
tion unfold. Hopefully it paints 2008 in its proper light, a
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“clutch of difficultly easy decisions in a kaleidoscope of
hope.”

-Jakob Chapman

4
Decisions 2000 & 8 Jakob Chapman

This is the place

Upon arriving home.

this is the place where I sit on a bench


and wait for a golf-cart

this is the place where the sun shines


and warms the January air

this is the place where a new year


of poetry
begins reluctantly
in public

this is the place where people know my name


because it is printed on my shirt
in sharpie
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in my own handwriting
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who wander from their young mothers
and I wonder if it was really worth
the effort to come
and meet people I already casually knew
back home
who left
and someone I knew years ago
his name escapes me
but I know it must be Lloyd
because it is printed on his shirt
in his own handwriting
in sharpie

this is the place where I am


I could go back
no questions asked
several answers silently given
but for now this is the place

5
Decisions 2000 & 8 Jakob Chapman

where I sit
bench-side
and wait
and wait alone

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Decisions 2000 & 8 Jakob Chapman

Malzbier

An ode to the drink.

crisp cold pop


of the bottle cap
rolls across the floor

Monday evening
tie undone
hole in sock
toe hanging out
dew forming
between fingers

liquid bread
coldlySample:
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my insides
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big bang
in my head
unwinding
the universe
proclaiming truth
wisdom
in these words:

“and barley
for all
useful animals
and for mild drinks”

peaceful risk
foamy head
eve of freedom
7
Decisions 2000 & 8 Jakob Chapman

have another
then off
to bed

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8
Decisions 2000 & 8 Jakob Chapman

Europe

After Jack Hirshman.

I thought I would never


grace the sod
of old men’s dreams
or historian’s playgrounds.

Once was enough,


waiting in the snow
buses missed
fields sown.

Twice was too much,


walking where Romans walked
talking where bombs fell;
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postponed until I get it right
waiting until
home is not home anymore

Never again!
a chuckle
a whimper
a crash and a sigh
I left my mark
on East Germany
I tried to save the west
I became a friend to the north

Never again!

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Decisions 2000 & 8 Jakob Chapman

Sixty Watts

Upon witnessing a light go out.

Bright smile
at the flick of a switch.
Softer glow,
beaming,
gleaming,
sad to see her go.

Distracting ray
pulls me nearer.
Lay down quickly
in reluctant anticipation,
and sleep in the spotlight.

Flicker, flicker.
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of no books in bed,
unconscious fear
of warm welcomes
quickly burning out.

“Five AM fizzle and pop.”

Two choices for dinner:


repair the inner workings
an impossible weld,
or clutch to tarnished tungsten.

Embrace her dark adaptations,


a fool's softer afterglow,
cold and cruel memory
of flickering and distance
come close and sigh.

10
Decisions 2000 & 8 Jakob Chapman

Hide the hint of hesitation


in the empty socket.
Forget the longing for the light!
Pretend to be content on being
never completely satisfied,
but ditch the warranty.

Incandescent demon,
angel riddling in the dark.

Try again,
screw it in,
see if it will spark.

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Decisions 2000 & 8 Jakob Chapman

Paint by Numbers

Inspired by Lana Groa’s oil painting, “Catch the Rhythm, Join the
Party”

We paint in packs
the way others might party
(without parental “super-vision”)
secretly splashing pigment
on each other’s paintings
when they are not paying
attention.

Distract a neighbor
while the sable brush
of another flicks
a shower of sparkles,
glittering globs of gold,
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flying tincture murder,
or just aPlease
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of Montezuma’s
revenge.

And watch
as the hand-guided
maquillage blooms
(like an atomic blusher),
and drips down
the oily foresail surface
like a projectiled
ovum accident
caught on candid
canvas.

Join the party;


play the blame game:
who did what where
as we regard

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Decisions 2000 & 8 Jakob Chapman

the rumba’d rhythmicity


of botched realism,
and jive jovially
toward artistic
Platonism.

Consider it foul
(if you will call
it anything at all)
artistic sabotage
mingled with
mischievous multi-chromatic
wrongdoing.

But at least it is
still recognizably
abstract.

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Decisions 2000 & 8 Jakob Chapman

Cheetos

A reflection on the snack.

orange fingers
only the first three
tips soft
almost sticky
bag in left hand
fingers on the right

can't say
I'm sorry
while eating
more than 21

tonight indulge
a little fun:
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lick fingers clean
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