Proper ninja casual attire

Ninjalistics, your leading provider of ISO 9000-compliant corporate espionage and assassination
solutions, recommends all frontline assassins prefer proper business clothing. Some Ninjalistics
divisions permit more casual officewear, such as Information Technology, Custodial, and the Ninth
Auspicious Chrysanthemum School. Yet even under such circumstances, maintain proper decorum.
Do not disappoint us—you are ninja!

Hair: Long hair may be thrown over your face

as emergency obfuscation, should you suffer a
mask-related mishap. Consider wearing a colorful
Earrings: Should conceal thin berette made of plastic explosive.
razors for slicing ropes, power
cords, or, in emergencies, throats.
Cosmetics: Poison lipstick should be used
according to guidelines specified in Information
Flyer P33, Kiss Kiss Kill Kill. Poison eyeliner
Shirt or blouse: Although you may be garbed has shown mixed results to date; consult your
nontraditionally, ensure clothing is dark and suitable manager.
for blending into shadows while still remaining
nondescript in an urban environment. (For seduction-
oriented infiltration methods, different guidelines Belt buckle: In earlier years it was typical to
may apply. Consult Human Resources.) hone the inner edge to razor sharpness. This
function is now more properly handled with
earrings, tooth fillings, or shoelace aglets. Current
best buckle practice is to install a micro GPS unit
Shirt or blouse buttons: Buttons may contain for easy tracking by your operations manager.
poison dosages (cyanide, arsenic, iocaine) Inexplicably high failure rates of belt-buckle GPS
or smoke powder. Alternatively, depending on units are under investigation.
your department and training, you may be
authorized for listening device emplacement.
Gold piping on pants: Ensure all metal in your
clothing is silenced. The honor of Ninjalistics
would be besmirched if an operative, while
effecting a paradigm transition on a client’s
Undergarments: In general, do not rely behalf, were to clink distractingly.
on your own judgment; consult your
manager (with appropriate supervision).
Some fabrics can be dissolved in water
to produce acid, but such garments may
provoke allergic reaction. For seduction-
oriented infiltration assignments, mission
guidelines vary regarding edibility.
Backpack: Conceal
at least 20g of smoke
powder in double-sealed
compartment at bottom
of backpack. Preferably
Woman’s heels: Ensure the heel can be removed include climbing claws or
and used as a throwing dart. grapnel as well.

Remember:
Dress to kill!
Copyright ©2009 Ninjalistics. Written by Humza Kazmi. Backpack photo by Kate Elliott (kate e. did), posted on Flickr under a Creative Commons license.
For more forms, certificates, and graphics, visit www.ninjalistics.com.