10 Lies Draco Malfoy Told Hermione Granger by drcjsnider

Category: Harry Potter Genre: Humor, Romance Language: English Characters: Draco M., Hermione G. Status: Completed Published: 2007-12-28 Updated: 2007-12-31 Packaged: 2013-03-10 14:09:55 Rating: T Chapters: 4 Words: 755 Publisher: www.fanfiction.net Summary: This is a list of lies involving

different subjects that Draco Hermione. DH Spoiles. EWE.

told

1. To Get Her To Sleep With Him

10. I'm a virgin and I want my first time to be with someone I respect, who won't post an announcement about it in the Daily Prophet tomorrow. 9. Gregory Goyle bet me my dick would fall off if I screwed a Mudblood, I want to prove him wrong. 8. I'm dying and the only cure is to have sex with a Muggle-born daughter of two orthodontists. 7. According to the Black family legend, if a male from the House of Black doesn't have sex within twenty-four hours of

turning twenty-one the last family member to die - Bellatrix - will rise from her grave. 6. Dumbledore's dying wish was for the two of us to 'do the dirty deed' together. 5. The size and shape of my "manhood" is a question on this year's NEWT examination. 4. I'm trying to convince my mother to stop setting me up on dates with Blaise Zabini. 3. Having sex with a member of the Order of the Phoenix is part of the Death Eater Rehabilitation Program. 2. All I want to do is hug, hold, and kiss you. Just lay down next to me and I'll stop

us from having sex, even if you beg me to give in. 1. Every time I have sex a house elf is set free.

2. To Get Her To Break Up With Ron Weasley

10. He thinks it is amusing to compare your hair style to that of an electrocution victim. 9. Weasley's sperm are immune to contraceptive charms. 8. Weasley is so stupid that every time you have sex with him, you lose 20 IQ points. 7. The Ministry just passed a law making it illegal for Muggle-borns to date redheads. 6. The only thing Weasley can multi-task

at is chatting up more than one woman at once. 5. Weasley is a perfect boyfriend, especially if you want to spend every Friday night for the rest of your life watching Quidditch. 4. Wealsey is proud of the fact that he hasn't read an entire book since Hogwarts. 3. Weasley's idea of romantic date is having sex on the kitchen table. 2. When you look at me like this, I know you don't love him any more. 1. I caught Weasley in the Burrow broom closet checking out Potter's "wand," if you know what I mean.

3. To Get Her To Clean His Flat

10. I think father hid a list of Death Eaters around here somewhere. 9. Pansy said you were all book knowledge and couldn't do anything useful around the house. 8. If you don't help me clean, I'll have to admit to my Mum that I let you talk me into freeing my house elf. 7. My flat has been cursed so that only Muggle-born women can tidy it up. 6. I failed the cleaning charms portion of my O.W.L.s. Can you give me a

demonstration? 5. National studies show that vacuuming makes witches asses look smaller and their breasts grow bigger. 4. I'd love to hang out with Potter and Weasley at the Leaky Cauldron, but I can't go out for drinks until the flat is tidy. 3. It is genetically impossible for purebloods to wash and fold laundry. 2. If you really loved me, giving me a hand about the flat wouldn't get your knickers in such a twist. 1. My masculine bits get a rash on them whenever I do manual labor.

4. and 10 Lies Hermione Told Draco

10. I am not now and will not ever be attracted to you. 9. I think Scorpius is a perfectly lovely name and can't imagine that anyone will ever make fun of him for it. 8. I do not find your constant comments about Ron's and Harry's intelligence amusing. 7. French kissing you is like having one of the giant squid's tentacles in my mouth. 6. It is perfectly normal for man to help his mother shop for her sleepwear.

5. If you put your hands on my ass one more time when we are out in public I am going to cut them off. 4. Muggle men always wear tuxedoes to the movie theater on opening night. 3. I wish you would stop speculating publicly about how much weight Ginny has gained every time we see her at a party. 2. It is not unmanly to burst into tears any time someone says Voldemort. 1. Last night was a huge mistake and it will NEVER happen again.