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Swami Anand Neelambar



This is an overflow of some of my writings during meditations. Meditation is a

simple surrender and acceptance of all that is. These writings were composed
during a span of time and reflect the various dimensions of consciousness.

This work was done in parts and complied to produce this volume. Each piece is
separate and should not assume any chronological sequence.

I do not lay claim to the contents of these overflows. I am merely a nimitta that
listened to these songs of SHAKTI as she sang in the sanctum of my being. This
is a humble offering to describe those beatific experiences.

These overflows are an attempt to capture what cannot be encompassed in words.

An enchanting dream of beauty

Waltzing through the heart
With pastels hues of divine love,
Embracing eternal life.
A reticence of mystifying charm
Cast with eyes of crystal pearls
A soft rose of delicate smiles
In an aura of sweet innocence
Ever trusting infinite existence;
The mystic speaks from beyond…

A new dawn has awakened. The breeze is wafting the sweet fragrance of flowers
just blossomed. The peacock is dancing with a new display of feathers. The
basuri penetrates deep into the heart, stirring chords of love, of laughter, of
longing. Within the sounds there is silence, palpable, tangible; there opens a
doorway to the divine. The mind disappears and no-mind overflows…

Swami Anand Neelambar

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I drank the wine of your love
and became forever drunk.
I fell into a swoon
and lost all consciousness
of pain, misery and sorrows.

My heart was drowned

into the ocean of desperation
but I found eternal life
by drinking the wine of your love.

This intoxicating elixir

has made me mad.
Now I roam hither and thither
Seeking your love;
The devi who destroyed my reality,
and gave me elusive dreams.

All I want is this wine

to keep me forever drunk.
If I become sober
The dreams may fade,
and reality return to haunt me.

I drink this wine

to remain eternally drunk.

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A mystic mast wanders

through the tempest
Seeking the tavern
to obtain the ambrosial wine.

Just for a mere sip he risks his life.

Roaming through this blizzard.

In his heart is a tufan

That can only be quelled
When he sees his beloved.

Drunk he must approach her

For sober he will falter
And not be able to sing his heart’s song.
A maddening cry of pain and sorrow
Of the torments of the cruel world,
That has left him broken and bruised.

An ecstatic rapture of fervent desire

That pulsates to a rhythm unknown.

Bellowing an exotic chant, a mantra

That haunts the night like a sleepless owl.

Only those freed of lust can hear this rue

Of a heart separated from itself.

Mad he must be to love so deeply

Another whom he cannot see.

Just a shadow in his dream

Yet he pursues desperately.

Who is there to fathom

The yearning of this mast?

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silent call beckons the weary traveller into the dismal cave of gloom and
despair. His heart in shambles, his emotions mute. Forlorn and defeated
he drags forward into the dark frightening hole. Like a corpse he falls
into a slumber - a protective sheet from the harsh reality of life. Life that has left
him broken and torn like flesh from a prey by vultures.

His soul longs to be freed from the prison of the body. His heart ceased pulsating
with the rhythm of life long ago. Only his memory carried him this far in life’s
sojourn, aimlessly wandering through valleys and meadows in search of life’s real
treasure. A mystical beauty lured him into the trap of love and stole his peace and
rest. Desolate and despondent he roamed hither and thither to seek solace. Alas,
weak and faint he heard the call from the serpent’s lair.

From deep slumber he awoke only to recall the dreadful pangs of separation.
Hopelessly he opened his eyes to the blinding light of reality that has cheated him
of joy and happiness. A ray of light shone like a beacon through the walls of the
dungeon. Perhaps in some distant shore the beloved lay awake with his name like
a mantra on her lips.

“Forgive me Life; I have strayed from my destiny. I shall now continue to seek
the beloved with optimistic faith along this pathless journey. Alone I must travel,
no friend to comfort my wounds and encourage my steps. Only a silent song
keeps me company and lifts my soul beyond the realms of animal passions and
human lust into the placenta of a divine romance.

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hen first our eyes met it was as though the matrix to the celestial
realm of immaculate beauty opened to embrace us into its world of
dancing angels and singing cherubs. For an eternal moment our
hearts became stilled in tranquil unison pulsating as one rhythmic chant. The
wondrous orchestra of love’s dimensionless melodies echoed throughout this

This magical world is devoid of the narrowness of mind and childish speculation
at mutual attraction.

It is a realm of rapturous joy where souls merge in mute ecstasies to satisfy the
pure pleasures of the heart’s calling.

The chimera of your enchanting glance sent waves of sensuous delights that
enraptured the spectrum of my emotions. I was transposed to a heavenly state of
voluptuous titillations when our lips meet in their pristine caress.

The sanguine taste of your lips caused a scintillating rainbow of feelings to whirl
in the sanctum of my being. The coy tenderness of your touch shrilled pulsating
waves of joy throughout my body.

This maddening charisma engulfs my being at the mere thought of you.

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To trust when doubts is thy only companion

To dream when nightmares is thy only vision
To believe when despairs is thy soul’s solace
To hope when lies is thy constant comfort
To rise above deceit and still be fooled
To love and feel the pain and hurt
To need a touch and receive a fist
To care when it is too late
To wish when the memories are faded
To desire when the heart is broken
To heal when the scars are open
To feel a power not your own
To hold a friend from falling when you can’t stand
To help a needy when you don’t have for yourself
To give thanks in thy pity
To win and not seek reward
To lose and not feel remorse
To think when the head is confused
To breathe and feel the pulse of death.
The immaculate mistake is to die in vain
Never trusting that all things are possible
With the gentle hand of love.

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An ecstatic heart hesitates

at the threshold of Infinity.
The passion for the impossible
impels him beyond
the mortal shackles
of the human frame
into the unknowable,
into the infinite placenta
of divine awakenings.

Our mortal hero confronts

this paradoxical dilemma:
the quest for truth,
or the titillating enjoyment
of sensual pleasures?

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Where the heart is without malice

And the soul is ever pristine
Where the clear stream of thought
flows into the placid ocean of virtue;
and not lost its way into dark, narrow
caves of desire, lust and spite.

Where inner strength and humility

Elevate the emotion of love
Up to the plateau of immaculate peace.

Where truth and honour waft

In the meadows of wonder
and celebration.
Into that awakening, O Prabhu!
Let my being return.

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A thirsty heart wanders

the dismal desert
seeking the lost aashiyaan.
But sees only a mirage
of flickering hopes
That turns to dust in the winds
as the sun begins to descend.

Faded dreams
and broken promises
are all that’s felt.
But an inner trust
impels him beyond
the mortal shackles of the finite
to the vast expanse
of love’s immortal being.

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Your radiant beauty

has cast a shadow
of love on my heart
that blinds me to
the pain of this world.
Your bright smile
is the guiding beacon
of my lonely life.
Should you cease to smile
my world would again
be plunged into darkness.
Your twinkling eyes
are the stars that plot
the course of my happiness.
With you, my life finds
purpose and fulfilment.
Your soft touch is
the panacea for all my wounds.
And your tender kisses,
The amrit of life eternal.

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O beloved, for long have

Ye chased after the elusive mirage
Let us abandon these vain pursuits
And seek the aashiyaan
Of enchanting impossibilities.
The heart cries for solace
The arm long to embrace
Even the mere shadow
of the lost love.
The lips desire to taste the wine
That flows in the oasis of paradox.

Neelambar sings:

Love me not because

Love me just because.
Come let us plunge in the ocean
And drown our troubled hearts
In the vast infinity
of love’s eternal grace.

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he fragrance of your love came and waltzed through my heart. It left me
torn and broken with the memories that now haunt my mind. Your
silent song keeps echoing in my heart and makes me restless searching
for this enchanting melody that reverberates throughout my world. My heart can’t
compel you to stay. But my soul longs to drown into your pristine presence. How
can I resolve this dilemma? Will I ever feast my thirsty eyes on your exotic,
celestial beauty again? Or shall I be forever seeking the beloved?

In deserts I roam like a wandering dervish. In the aashiyaan I lingered awaiting

your return. In desperation I entered the tavern and drank till intoxication. The
wine vase has become empty and the heart drunk. But still my thirst is not
parched. Only your sweet kisses can quell the burning desires of my soul, and
satiate the torments of my heart.

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he merchant of love has bartered his treasure for an intoxicating elixir that
made him drunk eternally. He lost all sobriety and serenity. His heart has
become a storm of desires that haunts his dreams and torments his
aspirations. Impelled by an inner vision he roams aimlessly seeking the aashiyaan,
the sanctuary of ultimate fulfilment.

In the market place he met many traders, dealers and travellers. In the open veranda
surrounded by a crowd of vile spectators he saw the celestial nymph of beauty. She
danced and sang with a haunting rhapsody that betrayed the feelings in her heart.
Only one of similar rejection could fathom the depths of her despair. A sin it should
be to hear the cry of this nightingale and not be moved to compassion. Who could
mock such a song that revealed the nature of this cruel world with verses of love and

Is this the aashiyaan? The merchant drank the ambrosia and joined the dance. With
mad ecstasy they moved to a rhythm divine. The drums of time became silent as the
two disappeared into the matrix of unknown dimensions.

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I n the quest for love and truth one is constantly besieged by obstacles. These can
either inspire one to persevere on the path, or discourage one to abandon the only
worthwhile endeavour in life. It is so easy to mistrust and lose hope. This is not a
unique human trait. The more divine characteristic is to see more than the mortal caprice.

It is a challenge to secure your faith. I know you have the potential to rise above the
mortal human limitations into the mystical dimensions of ever expanding consciousness.

This is your birthright. You are left to your own device to pursue whatever path you
choose. You have only to trust and things will happen on their own accord.

Love is a power that makes our hearts, yet our hearts cannot make that power. Love
descends upon our souls by the will of God and not by the demand or plea of the
individual. Love opens the dimensions beyond the realm of intellect and offers no reason
for its appearance and departure. One can either live in the misery of its submission or
pine for its return, or celebrate the bitter sweet memories. Love is not within the domain
of your control. In fact you cannot love. It is love that possesses you and carries you in its
wild dance through the portal of beauty, truth and bliss.

Only one of infinite trust can fathom the depths of this mystery of two souls pulsating as
one orgasmic being. Love is one. Duality is the illusion of the mind that seeks to protect
its ego by creating a separation, and then wandering aimlessly hither and thither; roaming
for many lives to seek the lost beloved; all the time with the kohinoor in the undiscovered
sanctum of your heart.

Once you realize that love is not a search but a happening. Then the miracle is that you
were all the time in love but the screen of fear prevented you from feeling its presence.

My work it to help remove this fear and love will reveal itself.

Neelambar sings:

Love is in the heart

but the tongue is speechless.

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ove is not sympathy or attention. Love is not a demand. Love cannot be
had by begging, abusing. Love is simply a gift for no reason. Love asks
not for itself but gives freely of itself. Love is sufficient onto itself. Love
is not a game of manipulation but a play of divine energies.

Love is a feeling of the beyond that touches the heart in mute, silent gestures that
makes the heart dance like children on the shores of eternity. Love moves mighty
men to act like fool hardy dotes.

Love is..., a million statements made, yet remains undefined. The most classical
expression of love is the moth that gets enamoured by the flame that he dies in
oneness within its all embracing arms. To die in love is to reborn into an angel.

Some experiences of love are actually painful. But such a pain is a treasured gift
in the bosom of the afflicted. These piercing pangs are the only memory left of a
joyous encounter.

Just a glance into your eyes and a jolt of electrical energy streams into my being;
that leaves me breathless. And for a few moments my mind is stilled while my
hearts dances in a wild frenzy.

Your touch sends quivers of delight through my chakra column. It makes my aura
radiant with a rainbow of divine emotions.

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Our meeting was no mere chance

It is the play of destiny.

Since I saw your celestial beauty,

I have become your prisoner.

You have made me captive forever.

When I look at you

My eyes attain the fulfilment

Of its existence.

Just to feast on your nymph-like beauty

Fills the cup of my heart

With the intoxicating elixir of love.

Your appearance on this clod of earth

Has bestowed light to my lonely life.

Your image have I thus enshrined

In the inner sanctum of my heart

And offer worship with flowers

Of sacrifice and trust.

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rayer is the expression of the soul’s ecstasy in communion with the divine
beloved. Prayer is the overflow of the heart’s noblest and highest
emotions of the deep gratitude and reverence towards the Beloved Ishta.
Ishta is a choiceless form of the divine beloved one spontaneously aspires to
merge and dissolve into.

Prayer is the transcendence of human love into a timeless dance of joy and
delight, celebrating life and worshipping existence with mute gestures of ecstasy.

Prayer has been described as a spiralling cyclone of poetry that lifts one from the
pits of finite throes, and offers him at the feet of the beloved, bathes him in love,
and places him back on earth baffled and confused as to where he has been and
how he returned.

Prayer leaves one in a kind of drunken stupor with tears in his eyes, a smile on his
lips and choked emotions in his heart.

Prayer is the plane where joy and pain transcend into the infinite ananda.

With music and song, prayer is a chant of rapture, ecstasy and bliss. It calms the
mind and leaves the heart in a pulsating rhythm of fervour that knows no rest until
it meets the feet of the beloved.

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