SWEENEY TODD

Screenplay by Stephen Sondheim Adapted from the Stage Musical "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" Music and Lyrics by Stephen Sondheim Book by Hugh Wheeler Based on a version of "Sweeney Todd"byChristopherBond

Casting:
Black Red Blue Green Orange Brown Purple Dark blue Dark green Pink Gold Greenish blue Sweeney Todd. Mrs. Lovvet. Pirelli. Toby Anthony Lucy Joanna Judge Turpin Beedle Customers Priest Mr. Fogg

I have sailed the world Beheld its wonders From the Dardanelles To the mountains of Peru But there's no place like London No, there's no place like London
Mr. Todd? You are young. Life has been kind to you You will learn. There's a hole in the worldlike a great black pit And the vermin of the world inhabit it And its morals aren't worth what a pig could spit And it goes by the name of London. At the top of the hole sit a privileged few Making mock of the vermin in the lower zoo Turning beauty into filth and greed I too have sailed the world and seen its wonders For the cruelty of men is as wondrous as Peru But there's no place like London. Are you alright Mr. Todd? I beg your indulgence, Anthony. My mind is far from easy. In these once familiar streets I feel shadows everywhere. Shadows? Ghosts.

There was a barber and his wife And she was beautiful A foolish barber and his wife She was his reason and his life And she was beautiful And she was virtuous And he was naive There was another man who saw that she was beautiful A pious vulture of the law Who, with a gesture of his claw Removed the barber from his plate Then there was nothing but to wait And she would fall So soft, so young so lost and, oh, so beautiful.
And the lady, sir, did she succumb? Oh that was many years ago. I doubt if anyone would know. I'd like to thank you, Anthony. If you hadn't spotted me, I'd be lost on the ocean still. Will I ever see you again? You might find me if you like. Around Fleet street I wouldnt wonder. Until then, my friend.

There's a hole in the world like a great black pit And it's
filled with people who are filled with shit And the vermin of the world inhabit it. A customer! Wait! What's your rush? What's your hurry? You gave me such a fright I thought you was a ghost! Half a minute, can't you sit? Sit you down. Sit!All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks! Did you come here for a pie, sir? Do forgive me if me head's a little vague What was that? But you'd think we had the plague! From the way that people keep avoiding No, you don't. Heaven knows I try, sir! But there's no one comes in even to inhale Right you are, sir would you like a drop of ale? Mind you, I can hardly blame them These are probably the worst pies in London I know why nobody cares to take them I should know, I make them But good? No! The worst pies in London Even that's polite The worst pies in London. If you doubt it, take a bite Is that just disgusting? You have to concede it It's nothing but crusting Here, drink this, you'll need it The worst pies in London And no wonder with the price of meat what it is When you get it Never thought I'd live to see the day. Men'd think it was a treat Finding poor animals What are dying in the street Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop Does her business but I noticed something weird Lately all her neighbors' cats have disappeared Have to hand it to her What I calls enterprise Popping pussies into pies Wouldn't do in my shop Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick And I'm telling you them pussycats is quick No denying times is hard, sir! Even harder than the worst pies in London Only lard and nothing more If you doubt it take a bite. Is that just revolting All greasy and gritty It looks like it's molting And tastes like Well, pity A woman alone! With limited wind And the worst pies in London Sir Times is hard Times is hard

Trust me, dearie, it's gonna take a lot more than ale to wash that taste out. Come with me. We'll get you a nice tumbler of gin, eh? Isn't this homey, now? The cheery wallpaper was a real bargain, too. It was only partly singed when the chapel burned down. There you go. You sit down, warm your bones. You've a room over the shop here? Times is so hard, why don't you rent it out? What, up there? No, I wont go near it. People think its haunted. Haunted? Yeah. You see, years ago, something happened up there. Something not nice. There was a barber and his wife And he was beautiful. A proper artist with a knife. But they transported him for life.And he was beautiful.

Barker, his name was. Benjamin Barker. What was his crime? Foolishness. He had this wife, you see. Pretty little thing,
silly little nit.Had her chance for the moon on a string. Poor thing...Poor thing... There was this judge, you see Wanted her like mad. Every day he sent her a flower. But did she come down from her tower? Sat up there and sobbed by the hour.Poor fool. But there was worse yet to come, poor thing Well, Beadle calls on her all polite.Poor thing Poor thing.The Judge, he tells her is all contrite He blames himself for her dreadful plight.She must come straight to his house tonight. Poor thing, poor thing.

Of course, when she goes there, Poor thing, poor thing.They're having this ball all in masks.There's no one she knows there Poor dear, poor thing.She wanders tormented and drinks Poor thing.The Judge has repented, she thinks Poor thing."Oh, where is Judge Turpin?" She asks.He was there all right Only not so contrite.She wasn't no match for such craft you see.And everyone thought it so droll.They figured she had to be daft,you see.So all of them stood there and laughed you see.Poor soul... Poor thing... Nooooooooooo!!! Would no one have mercy on her? So, it is you, Benjamin Barker? Wheres Lucy? Wheres my wife? She poisoned herself.Arsenic, from the apothecary around the corner.Tried to stop her, but she wouldn't listen to me.And he's got your daughter. He? Judge Turpin? Adopted her. like his own. Fifteen years. Ive sweated in a living hell on a false charge. Fifteen years dreaming, that I might come home to a wife and a child. Well, I cant say that the years have been particulary kind to you, Mr. Barker. No. Not barker. That man is dead. Its Todd now. Sweeney Todd. And he will have his revenge. Come in. Nothing to be afraid of, love. When they came for the girl, I hid them. Couldve sold them, but I didnt. Those handles is chased silver, aint they? Silver,yes. These are my friends. See how they glisten. See this one shine. How he smiles in the light.My friend. My faithful friend. Speak to me, friend. Whisper, I'll listen. I know, I know you've been locked out of sight all these years. Like me, my friend.Well, I've come home. To find you waiting. Home. And we're together. And we'll do wonders. Won't we? You there, my friend. - I'm your friend, too, Mr. Todd. - Come, let me hold you. - lf you only knew, Mr. Todd.
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- Now, with a sigh. Oh, Mr. Todd. - you're warm in my hand. - You grow warm in my hand. My friend. - You've come home. - My clever friend. Always had a fondness for you, I did. Rest now, my friends. - Never you fear, Mr. Todd. - Soon I'll unfold you. - You can move in here, Mr. Todd. - Soon you'll know. - Splendors you never. - Splendors you never. - have dreamed all your days. - have dreamed all your days. Will be yours. My lucky friends. - I'm your friend and now you're mine. - Till now your shine... - Don't they shine beautiful? ...was merely silver. Silver's good enough for me. - Friends, you shall drip rubies. - Mr. T You'll soon drip precious rubies. Leave me. At last, my arm

is complete again. Green finch and linnet bird.Nightingale, blackbird.

How is it you sing?How can you jubilate sitting in cages? Never taking wing?Outside the sky waits beckoning, beckoning.Just beyond the bars.How can you remain Staring at the rain?Maddened by the stars?How is it you sing anything? How is it you sing?My cage has many rooms. Damask and dark,nothing there sings.Not even my lark.Larks never will, you know.When they're captive.Teach me tomore

adaptive. Green finch and linnet bird. Nightingale, blackbird.Teach me how to sing.If I cannot fly.Let me sing. Alms!Alms for a miserable woman.On a miserable chilly morning. - Thank you, sir! Ma'am? Could you tell me whose house this- is? That's the great Judge Turpin's house, that is. And the young lady who resides there? Oh, that's Johanna,his pretty little ward. Keeps her snug, he does. All locked up. So don't you go trespassing there,or it's a good whipping for you,or any other young man with mischief on his mind. Alms! Alms for a desperate woman. I feel you,Johanna.I feel you.I was half convinced I'd waken satisfied enough to dream you.Happily I was mistaken, Johanna. I'll steal you,Johanna!I'll steal you... Come in, lad. Come in.You were looking for Hyde Park, you say? Yes. It's very large on the map,but I keep getting lost. Sit down, lad, sit down. It's embarrassing for a sailor, to lose his bearings, but there you are. A sailor? Yes, sir. The bountiful, out of Plymouth. Must be practiced in the ways of the world. Would you say you were practiced, boy? Sir? Oh, yes. Such pratctices. The geishas of Japan. The concubines of Siam. The catamites of Greece.The harlots of India. I have them all here. Drawings of them. Everything you've ever dreamed of doing with a woman.Would you like to see? I think theres been a mistake. I think not. You You gandered at my ward, Johanna. You gandered at her.- Yes, sir, you gandered. I meant no harm.
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Your meaning is immaterial.Mark me.If I see your face again on this street, you'll rue the day you were born. Hyde Park is that way, young sir!A left and a right and straight on,you see?Move on, now!You heard what Judge Turpin said, little man.Next time, it'll be your pretty little brains all over the pavement. I'll steal you,Johanna.I'll steal you.Do they think that walls can hide you?Even now, I'm at your window.I am in the dark beside you.Buried sweetly in your yellow hair.I feel you,Johanna. And one day,I'll steal you.Till I'm with you then I'm with you there!Sweetly buried in your yellow hair! He's here every Thursday.Italian. All the rage he is.Best barber in London, they say. Hold on. Ladies and gentlemen.May I have your attention, please? Do you wake every morning in shame and despair, to discover your pillow is covered with hair?What ought not to be there? Well, ladies and gentlemen.From now on you can waken at ease.You need never again have a worry or care, I will show you a miracle marvelous rare.Gentlemen, you are about to see something, what rose from the dead!On the top of my head! 'Twas Pirelli's Miracle Elixir, that's what did the trick, sir True, sir, true. Was it quick, sir? Did it in a tick, sir? Just like an elixir ought to do! How about a bottle, mister? Only costs a penny, guaranteed! Does Pirelli's stimulate the growth, sir? You can have my oath, sir 'Tis unique. Rub a minute, stimulating, isn't it? Soon you'll have to thin it, Once a week!

Pardon me, ma'am, what's that awful stench? Are we standing in an open trench? Must be standing near an open trench! Pardon me, sir, what's that awful stench? Buy Pirelli's Miracle Elixir.Anything what's slick, sir Soon sprouts curls.Try Pirelli's when they see how thick, sir.You

can have your pick, sir.Of the girls! Want to buy a bottle, missus - What is this? - What is this? - Smells like piss - Smells like... - Looks like piss! - Wouldn't touch it if I was you, dear! - This is piss, piss with ink - Let Pirelli's activate your roots, sir! Keep it off your boots, sir, eats right through. Yes, get Pirelli's, use a bottle of it Ladies seem to love it... Flies do, too. I am Adolfo Pirelli.The king of the barbers.The barber of kings.E buon giorno, good day! I blow you a kiss! And I the so famous Pirelli, I wish-a to know-a.Who has-a the nervea to say. My elixir is piss.Who says this? I do. I am Mr. Sweeney Todd of Fleet Street.I have opened a bottle of Pirelli's Elixir.And I say to you that it is nothing but an arrant fraud,concocted from piss and ink.Furthermore, Signor,I have serviced no kings,yet I wager that I can shave a cheek with 10 times more dexterity,than any street mountebank. Do you see these razors? I lay them against 5.You are no match, sir. Either accept my challenge,or reveal yourself as a sham. You hear this foolish man?Now, please, you will see how he will-a regret-a his-a folly.Toby! Whos for a free shave? Will Beadle Bamford be the judge? Glad, as always, to oblige my friends and neighbors.Ready? Ready! Ready. The fastest,smoothest shave is the winner! Now, signorini, signori.We mix-a the lather. But first-a. You gather around, signorini, signori.You looking a man who have had-a the glory to shave-a the Pope!

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Mr. Sweeney, whoever I beg-a you pardon.You'll probably say it was only a cardinal.Nope!It was-a the Pope!To shave-a the face. To cut-a the hair.Require the grace.Require the flair. For if-a you slip.You nick the skin.You clip-a the chin. You rip-a the lip a bit.Beyond-a repair.To shave-a the face. Or even a part.Without it-a smart.Require the heart.Not just-a the flash.It take-a panache.It take-a the passion for the art. To shave-a the face.To trim-a the beard.To make-a the bristle. Clean like a whistle.This is from early infancy.The talent give to me.By God.It take-a the skill.It take-a the brains.It take-a da will.To take-a the pains.It take-a the pace.It take-a the grace. The winner is Todd! Sir, I bow to a skill far greater than my own. The 5. May the good Lord smile on you.Until we meet again.Come, boy. Come! Suppose it's just me gentle heart,but I do hate to see a boy treated like that. Congratulations, Mr. Todd.May I ask you, sir, do you have your own establishment? He certainly does.Sweeney Todd's Tonsorial Parlor, above my Meat Pie Emporium in Fleet Street. I thank you, sir.You are a paragon of integrity. Well, I try to do my best for my friends and neighbors. Your establishment is in Fleet Street, you say? -Yes, sir. - Then, Mr. Todd,you shall surely see me there before the week is out. You will be welcome, Beadle Bamford.And I can guarantee to give you,without a penny's charge,the closest shave you will ever know. Come on, love.It's not much of a chair, but it'll do. It was me poor Albert's chair.Sit in it all day long he did, after his leg gave out with the gout.Why doesn't the Beadle come? "Before the week is out,"that's what he said.
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Well, who says the week's out?It's only Tuesday. Easy now.Hush, love, hush.Don't distress yourself.What's your rush?Keep your thoughts,Nice and lush.Wait! Hush, love, hush,Think it through.Once it bubbles.Then what's to do?Watch it close.Let it brew.Wait!I've been thinking flowers Maybe daisies.To brighten up the room.Don't you think some flowers.Pretty daisies.Might relieve the gloom?Wait!Love, wait... And the Judge? When'll we get to him? Can't you think of nothing else?Always brooding away on your wrongs. and what happened heaven knows how many years ago. Come on. Slow, love, slow.Time's so fast.Now goes quickly.See, now it's past.Soon will come.Soon will last.Wait! Don't you know, silly man?Half the fun is to plan the plan? All good things come to those who can wait.Gillyflowers, maybe.'Stead of daisies.I don't know, though.What do you think? Oh, I'm sorry, excuse me. - Mrs. Lovett, sir. - A pleasure, ma'am. Mr. Todd,there's a girl who needs my help. Such a sad girl and lonely,but beautiful, too and... - Slow down, son. - Yes. I'm sorry. This girl has a guardian,who keeps her locked away, but then, this morning,she dropped this. Surely a sign,that Johanna wants me to help her. That's her name, Johanna.And Turpin is her guardian. He's a judge of some sort.Once he goes to court, I'm going to slip into the house,release her and beg her to come away with me tonight. Oh, this is very romantic. Yes. But I don't know anyone in London,you see. And I need somewhere safe to bring her, till I've hired a coach to take us away.If I could keep her here,just for an hour or two, I'd be forever in your debt.
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- Bring her here, love. - Thank you, ma'am. Mr. Todd? Oh, thank you.Thank you, thank you, my friend. Thank you, ma'am. Seems like the Fates are favoring you at last, Mr. T. What is it? You'll have her back before the day is out. What about him? Him? Oh, well. Let him bring her here. And then, since you're so hot for a little,that's the throat to slit, my dear.Poor little Johanna.All those years without a scrap of motherly affection.Well, I'll soon see to that.Hello. What's he doing here? Keep the boy downstairs. Signora, is Mr. Todd at home? Plying his trade upstairs.Would you look at it now? You wouldn't mind if I gave it a nice juicy meat pie, would you? - S, s, s. Whatever you want. - Come on, lad.Your teeth are strong, I hope. Close the door.Get you a nice lovely pie.Sit down. Make yourself comfy. Come in. - Mr. Todd. - Signor Pirelli. Call me Davey.Davey Collin's the name when it's not professional.I'd like me five quid back,if you don't mind. Why? Because you entered into our little wager under false pretenses, my friend.So that you might remember to be a bit more forthright in the future,I'll be taking half your profits from herewith.Share and share alike.Mr. Benjamin Barker. Here we are. Tuck in.I like to see a man with a healthy appetite. Reminds me of my dear Albert.Liked to gorge himself to bloatation, he did.He didn't have your nice head of hair, though. To tell the truth, it gets awful hot.

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Yes, this'll do nicely.You don't remember me, do you?Why should you? I was just a little nip that you hired for a couple of weeks, sweeping up hair.But I remember these. And how could I ever forget you, Mr. Barker. I used to sit right here.Dream of the day when I could be a proper barber myself.You might say that you was inspiration to me.So, is we got a deal?Or should I run down the street to me old pal, Beadle Bamford? What do you say to that, now,Mr. Sweeney Todd? My, my, my. Always work to be done. Spic and span, that's my motto.So, how'd you end up with that dreadful Italian? Got me from the workhouse.Been there since I was born. Oh, God!He's got an appointment with his tailor! If he's late, he'll blame me! Wait! Signor! You got an appointment! Signor Pirelli's been called away.Better run after him. No, sir. I should stay here,or it'll be a lashing.He's a great one for the lashings. So, Mrs. Lovett gave you a pie, did she? - She's a real lady. That she is.But if I know a growing boy, there's still room for more pie, eh? Yes, sir. Then why don't you wait for your master downstairs? Be another pie in it for you, I'm sure. - No, I should stay here. Tell you what, why don't you tell Mrs. Lovett that I said to give you a nice big tot of gin. Thank you, sir! This is the second time, sir,you have been brought before this bench.Though it is my earnest wish ever to temper justice with mercy,your persistent dedication to a life of crime is an abomination before God and man. I therefore sentence you to hang by the neck until you're dead.

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And may the Lord have mercy on your soul.Court is adjourned. Thank you, Your Honor. Just the sentence we wanted.Was he guilty? Well, if he didn't do it,he's surely done something to warrant a hanging. What man has not? Sorry? No matter. Come.Walk home with me. I have news for you, my friend.In order to shield her from the evils of this world, I have decided to marry my dear Johanna. Sir, happy news indeed. Strange though,when I offered myself to her, she showed a certain reluctance. Excuse me, my lord.May I request, my lord.Permission, my lord, to speak?Forgive me if I suggest, my lord.You're looking less than your best, my lord.There's powder upon your vest, my lord.And stubble upon your cheek.And ladies, my lord, are weak. Stubble, you say?Perhaps I am a little overhasty in the mornings. Fret not though, my lordI know a place, my lord A barber, my lord, of skill. Thus armed with a shaven face, my lord.Some eau de cologne to grace, my lord.And musk to enhance the chase,my lord.You'll dazzle the girl unti... Until? She bows to your every will. Barber? Take me to him. His name is Todd, my lord, and he is the very last word in barbering. You ought to slow down a bit, lad. It'll go straight to your head. They used to give it to us in the workhouse so as we could sleep. Not that you'd want to sleep in that place, ma'am. Not with the things what happen in the dark. That's nice, dear. Think I'll just pop in on Mr. Todd for a tick.You all right, there?
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- Leave the bottle. That lad is drinking me out of house and home. How long till Pirelli gets back? He won't be back. Mr. T, you didn't.You're barking mad.Killing a man what done you no harm. He recognized me from the old days.Tried to blackmail me. Half me earnings. Oh, well, it's a different matter then.For a moment there, I thought you'd lost your marbles.All that blood.Poor bugger. Oh, well.Well, waste not, want not.So, what are we gonna do about the boy then? Send him up. Oh, we don't need to worry about him.He's a simple thing. Send him up! Now, Mr. T,surely one's enough for today. Besides, I was thinking of hiring the lad to help me run the shop. Your poor knees aren't what they used to be. All right. Course, we're gonna have to stock up on the gin. Boy drinks like a sailor. The Judge.Get out.Get out! Mr. Todd? At your service.An honor to receive your patronage, my lord. You know me, sir? Who in this wide world does not know the great Judge Turpin? These premises are hardly prepossessing,and yet the Beadle tells me you're the most accomplished of all the barbers in the city. That is gracious of him, sir.What may I do for you today, sir? A stylish trimming of the hair?Soothing skin massage? Sit, sir. Sit. You see, sir, a man infatuate with love Her ardent and eager slave So fetch the pomade and pumice stone And lend me a more seductive tone A sprinkling perhaps of French cologne
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But first, sir, I think... a shave. The closest I ever gave You're in a merry mood today, Mr. Todd. 'Tis your delight, sir, catching fire From one man to the next 'Tis true, sir, love can still inspire The blood to pound the heart leap higher - What more - What more - can man require than love, sir - can man require More than love, sir - What, sir? - Women - Yes, women - Pretty women Now then, my friend.Now to your purpose.Patience, enjoy it. Revenge can't be taken in haste Make haste, and if we wed.You'll be commended, sir My lord.And who, may it be said Is your intended, sir? My ward.A pretty little rosebud. Pretty as her mother? What? What was that? Nothing, sir. Nothing. May we proceed? Pretty women Fascinating Sipping coffee Dancing pretty women!Are a wonder.Pretty women.Sitting in the window or standing on the stair Something in them.Cheers the air.Pretty women. Silhouetted Stay within you Glancing! Stay forever Breathing lightly

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Pretty women - Pretty women - Pretty women - Blowing out their candles or - Blowing out their candles or - Combing out their hair - Combing out their hair Then they leave - Even when they leave... - Even when they leave you and vanish... ...they still... ...they somehow can still remain... ...are there, they're there ...there with you - Pretty women - Pretty women - At their mirrors - In their gardens - Letter-writing - Flower-picking weather-watching - How they make a man sing - How they make a man sing - Proof of heaven - Proof of heaven - As you're living - As you're living - Pretty women, sir! - Pretty women, sir! - Pretty women, yes! - Pretty women, yes! - Pretty women, sir - Pretty women, pretty women... Mr. Todd! I've seen Johanna and she said she'd leave with me tonight. You.There is indeed a higher power to warn me thus in time.
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Johanna elope with you?I'll make sure that neither you nor any other man shall ever set eyes on her again.As for you, barber,it's all too clear what company you keep.Service them well and hold their custom,for you'll have none of mine. - Mr. Todd. You have to help me. - Out. - Mr. Todd, please. - Out. - Mr. Todd! - Out! All this shouting and running about.- What's happened? - I had him. The sailor busted in, I know.And then I saw them both running down the stairs. I had him! His throat was bare beneath my hand - There, there, dear. Calm down. - No, I had him!His throat was there.And he'll never come again! Easy now. Hush, love, hush- I'll keep telling you - When? - What's your rush? - Why did I wait?You told me to wait! Now he'll never come again!There's a hole in the world like a great black pit.And it's filled with people who are filled with shit.And the vermin of the world inhabit it. But not for long!They all deserve to die.Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett,tell you why.Because in all of the whole human race, Mrs. Lovett.There are two kinds of men and only two.There's the one staying put In his proper place.And the one with his foot In the other one's face.Look at me, Mrs. Lovett, look at you! No, we all deserve to die.Even you, Mrs. Lovett Even I.Because the lives of the wicked should be made brief.For the rest of us, death will be a relief.

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We all deserve to die.And I'll never see Johanna.No, I'll never hug my girl to me.Finished!All right! You, sir. How about a shave?Come and visit your good friend Sweeney.You, sir, too, sir.Welcome to the grave!I will have vengeance.I will have salvation.Who, sir?You, sir? No one's in the chair.Come on, come on.Sweeney's waiting! I want you bleeders. You, sir! Anybody!Gentlemen, now don't be shy!Not one man, no, nor ten men.Nor a hundred can assuage me.I will have you. And I will get him back.Even as he gloats. In the meantime.I'll practice on less honorable throats. And my Lucy lies in ashes.And I'll never see my girl again. But the work waits!I'm alive at last!And I'm full of joy! That's all very well,but what are we gonna do about him? Hello?Do you hear me?Come on.You great useless thing. Sit down.There. Drink it down.Now, we got a body moldering away upstairs.Now, what do you intend we should do about that, then? Later on when it's dark,we'll take it to some secret place and bury it. Oh, yeah. Course we could do that.Don't suppose he's got any relatives,that's gonna come poking around looking for him. Seems a downright shame Shame? Seems an awful waste.Such a nice plump frame.What's his name has.Had, has?Nor it can't be traced.Business needs a lift.Debts to be erased.Think of it as thrift, as a gift.If you get my drift. Seems an awful waste.I mean, with the price of meat what it is When you get it, if you get it. Ah... Good, you got it?Take, for instance.Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop.Business never better using only pussycats and toast.Now a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most.And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion Eminently practical
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- And yet appropriate as always - Well, it does seem a waste Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived without you All these years I'll never know! Think about it. Lots of other gentlemen'll... - How delectable! ...soon be coming for a shave - Also undetectable - Won't they? Think of all them pies! - How choice! How rare! For what's the sound of the world out there? What, Mr. Todd, what, Mr. Todd.What is that sound? Those crunching noises pervading the air? Yes, Mr. Todd.Yes, Mr. Todd, yes, all around It's man devouring man, my dear - And who are we to deny it in here? - And who are we to deny it in here? These are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett.And desperate measures are called for. Here we are, hot out of the oven. What is that? It's priest.Have a little priest - Is it really good? - Sir, it's too good, at least.Then again they don't commit sins of the flesh.So it's pretty fresh Awful lot of fat. Only where it sat. Haven't you got poet or something like that? No, you see the trouble with poet is how do you know it's deceased?Try the priest.Lawyer's rather nice. If it's for a price. Order something else, though, to follow.Since no one should swallow it twice. Anything that's lean?

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Well, then, if you're British and loyal.You might enjoy Royal Marine.Anyway, it's cleanThough, of course it tastes of wherever it's been. Is that squire on the fire? Mercy no, sir, look closer.You'll notice it's grocer Looks thicker. More like vicar. No, it has to be grocer.It's green. The history of the world, my love Save a lot of graves.Do a lot of relatives favors. Is those below serving those up above. Everybody shaves.So there should be plenty of flavors How gratifying for once to know - That those above - That those above - will serve those down below! - Will serve those down below! What is that? It's fop.Finest in the shop.Or we have some shepherd's pie peppered with actual shepherd on top.And I've just begun. Here's the politician, so oily.It's served with a doily, have one. Put it on a bun.Well, you never know if it's going to run. Try the friar, fried, it's drier. No, the clergy is really too coarse and too mealy. Then actor.It's compacter. But always arrives overdone I'll come again, when you have judge on the menu. Have charity towards the world, my pet. Yes, yes, I know, my love. We'll take the customers that we can get. High-born and low, my love.We'll not discriminate great from small.No, we'll serve anyone. We'll serve anyone - Meaning anyone.- And to anyone at all! So, it's true. Sir, a gentleman knocks before entering a lady's room. Indeed he does, but I see no lady.I told myself the sailor was lying,that my Johanna would never betray me,never hurt me so. Sir, I will leave this place.
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I think that only appropriate since you no longer find my company to your liking.We shall provide you with new lodgings.Until this moment I have spared the rod. But the ungrateful child has broken my heart. When you've learned to appreciate what you have, perhaps we shall meet again.Until then think on your sins. No!No, please! Johanna! Where are you taking her?Tell me or I swear I'll... You'd kill me, boy? Here I stand! Johanna!!! I feel you,Johanna.I feel you.Do they think that walls can hide you?Even now, I'm at your window.I am in the dark beside you. Buried sweetly in your yellow hair. Johanna And are you beautiful and pale With yellow hair, like her?I'd want you beautiful and pale The way I've dreamed you were Johanna And if you're beautiful what then with yellow hair, like wheat.I think we shall not meet again My little dove, my sweet Johanna. I'll steal you, Johanna! Goodbye, Johanna! You're gone, and yet you're mine I'm fine, Johanna - I'm fine! - Johanna Smoke! Smoke! Sign of the devil sign of the devil. City on fire!Witch! Witch! Smell it, sir.An evil smell. Every night at the vespers bell.Smoke that comes from the mouth of hell.City on fire!City on fire!Mischief! Mischief! Mischief! And if I never hear your voice,My turtledove, my dear. I still have reason to rejoice.The way ahead is clear Johanna
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I feel And in that darkness when I'm blind With what I can't forget Johanna It's always morning in my mind.My little lamb, my pet, Johanna- You stay, Johanna... - Johanna - ... the way I've dreamed you are Oh, look, Johanna! A star! Buried sweetly in your yellow hair A shooting star! There, there, somebody, somebody look up there. Didn't I tell you?Smell that air. City on fire!Quick, sir, run and tell Warn them all of the witch's spellThere it is, there it is, the unholy smell.Tell it to the Beadle and police as well Tell them! Tell them!Help, fiend! City on fire!City on fire! Mischief. Mischief. And though I'll think of you, I guess Until the day I die I think I miss you less and less As every day goes by- Johanna - Johanna And you'd be beautiful and paleAnd look too much like her If only angels could prevail We'd be the way we were- Johanna - I feel you, Johanna Wake up, Johanna.Another bright red day We learn, Johanna, to say Goodbye. I'll steal you... Ladies and gentlemen,May I have your attention, please? Are your nostrils a-quiver and tingling as well At that delicate luscious ambrosial smell?Yes, they are, I can tell.Well, ladies and gentlemem.That aroma enriching the breeze.Is like nothingcompared to its succulent source.As the gourmets among you will tell you, of course.Ladies and gentlemen.You can't imagine the rapture in store.Just inside of this door!There you'll sample Mrs. Lovett's meat pies. Savory and sweet pies.As you'll see.You who eat pies, Mrs. Lovett's meat pies.Conjure up the treat pies used to be!
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- Toby! - Coming! - Ale there! - Right, ma'am! Quick, now! Nice to see you, dearie.How have you been keeping? Cor, me bones is weary.Toby! One for the gentleman Hear the birdies cheeping.Helps to keep it cheery. Toby! Throw the old woman out! What's my secret?Frankly, dear, forgive my candor. Family secret.All to do with herbs.Things like being careful with your coriander. That's what makes the gravy grander!Eat them slow and feel the crust.How thin she rolled it.Eat them slow.'cause every one's a prize!Eat them slow 'cause that's the lot and now we've sold it!Come again tomorrow!Hold it!Bless my eyes!Fresh supplies!- How about it, dearie? - Is that a pie... - Be here in a twinkling! ...fit for a king. - Just confirms me theory, Toby! - A wondrous sweet. - and most delectable thing? - God watches over us. Didn't have an inkling, positively eerie You see, ma'am why there's no meat pie. Toby! Throw the old woman out! Still got to keep an eye on the household expenditure. Which isn't to say we couldn't get some nice taxidermy animals, bring a touch of gentility to the place.You know, a boar's head or two?- Mr. T? You listening to me? - Of course. - Then what did I just say? - There must be a way to the Judge. Judge. Always harping on the bloody old judge.We got a nice respectable business now.Money coming in regular-like.
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And since we're careful to pick and choose,strangers, people who won't be missed, who's gonna catch on? Mr. Todd, I'm so happy.I could eat you up, I really could You know what I'd like to do, Mr. Todd? What I dream?If the business stays as good Where I'd really like to go.In a year or so? Don't you want to know? Of course. Do you really want to know? Yes, I do. By the sea, Mr. Todd That's the life I'll covet By the sea, Mr. Todd Oh, I know you'd love it You and me, Mr. T, we could be alone In a house what we'd almost own- Down by the sea - Anything you say Wouldn't that be smashing?Think how snug it'll be Underneath our flannel.When it's just you and me And the English Channel.In our cozy retreat Kept all neat and tidy.We'll have chums over every Friday By the sea.Don't you love the weather by the sea?We'll grow old together. By the seaside By the beautiful sea.It'll be so quiet that who'll come by it except a seagull?We shouldn't try it though, till it's legal for two!But a seaside wedding could be devised. Me rumpled bedding legitimized.Me eyelids'll flutter, I'll turn into butter.The moment I mutter "I do!" Will you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? You may kiss your bride. Down by the sea.Married nice and proper.By the sea Bring along your chopper.To the seaside By the beautiful sea. I brought you some breakfast, dear.Mr. T? Can I ask you a question? What? What did your Lucy look like?Can't really remember, can you? She had yellow hair.

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You gotta leave this all behind,you know.She's gone.Life is for the alive, my dear.We could have a life, us two. Maybe not like I dreamed.Maybe not like you remember. But we could get by. - Mr. Todd! Mrs. Lovett, ma'am? - What is it, Anthony? - He has her locked in a madhouse - Johanna. Fogg's Asylum.I've circled the place a dozen times. There's no way in. It's a fortress. - I've got him. - Mr. Todd? We've got her.Where do you suppose all the wigmakers in London go to obtain their hair?Bedlam. - They get it from the lunatics at Bedlam. - I don't understand. We shall set you up as a wigmaker's apprentice. That'll gain you access.And then you take her. Go, quickly, go!Fetch the boy. Don't you think you should leave the boy behind? - Toby. Mr. Todd needs you. - Yes, ma'am.Mr. T? - Do you know where the Old Bailey is? - Yes, sir. Not that I ever been there. Take this there.Seek out a Judge Turpin. Repeat that. Go to Old Bailey. Find Judge Turpin. You put that into his hands.Only to him, you understand? Yes, sir.And while I'm out, do you mind if I stop by the grocer just to pick... No. You're not to stop, you're not to speak.You're to deliver the letter.Do you understand? Yes, sir. Where you been, lad?We had quite the rush at dinner time. Me poor bones is ready to drop. Mr. Todd sent me on an errand.And on the way back,I went by the workhouse,just to take a look.And I was thinking, but for

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you,I'd be there now.Or someplace worse.Seems like the good Lord sent you for me. Oh, love, I feel quite the same way. Listen to me, please. You know there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. Say, if there were someone around,someone bad?Only you didn't know it. What is this?What are you talking about? Nothing's gonna harm you. Not while I'm around Nothing's gonna harm you.No, sir, not while I'm around What do you mean "someone bad"? Demons are prowling everywhere nowadays. I'll send them howling, I don't care I got ways. Hush, darling, there's no need for this. No one's gonna hurt you.No one's gonna dare.Others can desert youNot to worry, whistle, I'll be thereDemons will charm you.With a smileFor a while, but in time.Nothing can harm you.Not while I'm around. That's nice, dear.Now, what is all this foolishness? What are you talking about? Little things that I've been thinking about Mr. Todd. Not to worry, not to worry I may not be smart, but I ain't dumb I can do it, put me to it Show me something I can overcome.Not to worry, ma'am.Being close and being clever Ain't like being true.I don't need to, I won't never hide a thing from you.Like some. Now, Toby, dear, haven't we had enough of this foolish chatter? Here.How about I give you a nice shiny new penny and you go get us some toffees? That's Signor Pirelli's purse! No, it's not. Just something Mr. T gave me for my birthday. That proves it! We gotta go, ma'am.We gotta find the Beadle and get the law here! Toby. Hush, lad,you're not going anywhere.You just sit here, nice and quiet,next to me. That's right.How could you think such a thing of Mr. Todd?He's been so good to us.
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 Nothing's gonna harm you Not while I'm around

Nothing's gonna harm you, darling Not while I'm around. Demons'll charm you with a smile.For a while. But in time.Nothing's gonna harm you.Not while I'm around.

Funny we should be having this little chat right now. 'Cause I was just thinking...You know how you've always fancied coming into the bake house with me to help make the pies? Yes, ma'am. Well, no time like the present, eh? I feel bad for you, going up and down all these stairs. - Well, that'll be your job now. - Yes, ma'am.Quite a stink, ain't there? You see those grates?They go right down to the sewers, and the smells come up.Always a few rats gone home to Jesus down there.Now, this'll be the bake oven. Three dozen at a time.Always be sure the door is closed properly, like this. - Door's closed properly. - This is a grinder. Pop in the meat. Give it a good grind.Pops out there.You try. Good grind.Comes out there. That's my boy.I'm just gonna pop upstairs,back in two shakes, all right? You mind if I have a pie while I wait? As many as you like, son. Yes, sir, I agree.It would be to our mutual interest to come to some arrangement in regard to my poor children's hair. Brunettes.Redheads.I keep the blondes in here.It was yellow hair you was looking for, sir? Yes.- That one there has the shade I need. - Come, child.Smile for the gentleman and you shall have a sweetie.Now, where shall I cut? Not another word, Mr. Fogg,or it will be your last.Now, I leave you to the mercy of your children. I got him locked in.But if he escapes, he'll go to the law.
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- Then he won't escape. - I don't know, Mr. Todd.The Judge'll be here soon. 'Scuse me, sir. Gave me a fright. Not my intention, good madam.I assure you.Though I am here on official business.You see, there's been some complaints about the stink from your chimney.They say at night it is something most foul.Health regulations and the general public welfare naturally being my duty,I'm afraid I'm gonna have to take a look at your bakehouse. Of course, sir.But first, why don't you come upstairs?Let me pamper you. Much as I do appreciate tonsorial doormen I really ought to see to my official obligations first. I completely understand. If you'll indulge me, sir,what is that exotic aroma? Me secret, is a touch of ambergris. Dare I offer you something a tad more appropriate for a gentleman of your standing?The ladies will greatly appreciate it, sir. You're the expert in these matters. Only take a moment.Would you like a bit of bay rum, sir? Bay rum is very bracing. Let me out! Please, let me out!Let me out! Toby?Where is he?Toby, where are you, love? Toby? Nothing's gonna harm you Not while I'm around Toby? Where are you hiding? Toby? Nothing's gonna harm you, darling Not while I'm around Toby? Mr. Todd!You wait for him here.I'll return with a coach in less than half an hour.Don't worry. No one'll recognize you.You're safe now. Safe? So, we run away and then all our dreams come true? I hope so. I've never had dreams. Only nightmares.
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Johanna,when we're free of this place all the ghosts will go away. No, Anthony. They never go away. I'll be right back to you.Half an hour and we'll be free. Beadle! Beadle!No good hiding, I saw youAre you in there still, Beadle?Beadle?Beadle, dear Beadle?Beadle deedle deedle deedle deedle dumpling Beadle dumpling... Who are you?What are you doing here? Evil is here, sir.The stink of evil, from below, from her!Oh, she's the Devil's wife.Beware her, sir.She with no pity in her heart.Don't I know you, mister? Mr. Todd?Where is she? Below, Your Honor. With my neighbor. Thank heavens the sailor did not molest her. Thank heavens, too, she has seen the error of her ways. - She has? - Oh, yes.Your lesson was well-learned.She speaks only of you. Longing for forgiveness. Then she shall have it.- She'll be here soon, you say? - Yes. Excellent, my friend. How about a shave?Sit, sir. Sit.- Oh, pretty women - Pretty women, yes Johanna, Johanna Pretty women Pretty women are a wonder Pretty women!What we do for pretty women! - Blowing out their candles - Blowing out their candles - Or combing out their hair - Or combing out their hair Then they leave - Even when they leave - Even when they leave you and vanish - They still are there - They somehow can still remain
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- There with you, there - They're there How seldom it is one meets a fellow spirit. With fellow tastes in women, at least. What's that? The years, no doubt,have changed me, sir.But then, I suppose the face of a barber,the face of a prisoner,a dog, is not particularly memorable. Benjamin Barker. Benjamin Barker! Rest now, my friend.Rest now forever. Sleep now the untroubled.Sleep of the angels.. .Come for a shave, have you, lad? No, I... Everyone needs a good shave.Forget my face. Die! God in heaven, die!You. Why did you scream? He was clutching onto me dress,but he's finished now. I'll take care of it. Open the door.Open the door, I said."Don't I know you?" she said.You knew she lived. I was only thinking of you. You lied to me. No, no, not lied at all.No, I never lied - Lucy... - Said she took a poison. she did, never said that she died - I've come home again - Poor thing, she lived But it left her weak in the head All she did for months was just lie there in bed Should've been in hospital.Wound up in Bedlam instead.Poor thing!Better you should think she was dead - Oh, my God! Yes, I lied 'cause I love you!- I'd be twice the wife she was! - Lucy... - I love you! - What have I done?
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Could that thing have cared for you like me? Mrs. Lovett, you're a bloody wonder Eminently practical And yet appropriate as always.As you've said repeatedly There's little point in dwelling on the past - Now, come here, my love... - Do you mean it?Everything I did, I swear, I thought - was only for the best - Not a thing to fear- my love, what's dead Is dead - Can we still be married? The history of the world, my pet Oh, Mr. Todd, oh, Mr. Todd Leave it to me Is learn forgiveness and try to forget By the sea, Mr. Todd.We'll be comfy-cozy.By the sea, Mr. Todd Where there's no one nosy. And life is for the alive, my dear.So let's keep living it - Just keep living it, really living it!Really living it! There was a barber and his wife.And she was beautiful.A foolish barber and his wife.She was his reason and his life.And she was beautiful.And she was virtuous.And he was... Go ahead. Kill me if you dare boy... Your days of crime are over Mr. Todd. Forever.

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