Being George Clooney

a.k.a. Men's fashion for dummies.

By Heinz Bulos
January 2003

n order to moe with
conidence in the world, a man
must hae a wardrobe that suits
him and his style o liing. It is a task that
requires a nuanced understanding o both
ashion and onesel ,two areas o inquiry
many men are prone to ignore,.`

1hat`s an Oscar \ilde-ish way o saying
men are clueless when it comes to
dressing up. And I plead guilty. lor three
years, my girlriend has been doggedly
pursuing her boyriend project` in an
unsuccessul attempt to gie me a
makeoer ,we`re still in the basic hygiene
stage, and so ar there`s been slow but
steady progress,. She describes my ashion
style as sloppy`. My wardrobe, I admit, is
ten years old. Maybe more. My boss has
reminded me more than once to look
more presentable, i not respectable. But
abb, the priilege o working in the media
industry: one is expected to dress up
casually.

1here are serious problems that a man
aces about dressing well. One is the
weather. \ou can`t be too ashionable in
this sweltering heat. 1wo, you just can`t be
too ashionable, i you catch my drit. But
then again, how you dress up does hae
an eect on people.

In my interiews o working men in the
industry, I hae come across some smart
dressers who do exude conidence and
accomplishment. And so I concede deeat.
Dressing well does hae its merits. Now,
how does one get to dress up well without
looking like a boring suit ,a derogatory
term nowadays, 1here must be someone
I can emulate - a ormer ashion ictim
turned makeoer success.

Call it /i.vet. I chanced upon a sidebar
article on People magazine called lrom
Dud to Stud`, and I thought, 1hat`s me!`
,well, at least the dud part,. 1he main
subject is George Clooney, Sexiest Man
Alie or 199. People magazine described
him as haing a dopey smile and hair to
spare` early in his acting career but now
makes us swoon with his grown-up
style.`

I eer there`s a lollywood actor a guy
won`t be embarrassed to emulate, it`s
George Clooney: a cool, suae, legendary
bachelor. lorget pretty boys like 1om
Cruise and Brad Pitt or beecakes like
Sylester Stallone and Ah-nuld
Schwarzenegger. Real men tip their hats
o to the likes o lrank Sinatra, Paul
Newman, Stee McQueen, and Marlon
Brando ,that is, eart, Marlon Brando,.
1hey`re a bit rough on the edges, they
don`t talk too much, and they get the
ladies - the epitome o cool.

Now, how does one become like George
One can start with GQ and Lsquire, o
course, but there`s got to be a single,
conenient guide out there. And so, I
dropped by Powerbooks and - hallelujah!
- ound exactly what I needed. A coee
table book called Men's Wardrobe rom
the Chic Simple series o guides created
by Je Stone and Kim Johnson Gross.
Chic Simple is a primer or liing well
but sensibly. It`s or those who beliee
that quality o lie comes not in
accumulating tings but in paring down to
the essentials.` \ou should get one.

It`s a great guide or the working man
who`s been conditioned to dress plainly
I
and unimaginatiely. lor one, it coers
just about eery aspect o dressing up and
looking smart or guys, rom socks to
shirts, rom suits to shoes, rom shaing
to smoking. 1here are ie sections: lirst
1hings, or starting your day, \ork Lie,
or oice attire, Leryday Lie, or casual
dressing, Outdoor Lie, or sports and
recreation, and Night Lie, or shaking
your booty.

Second, it sets a sound philosophy. 1ake
these nuggets: Building a wardrobe is a
lietime pursuit, a journey rather than a
destination.`

\hateer you do, there are certain
wardrobe basics that orm a oundation
upon which to build. Once you hae a
solid collection o such timeless essentials,
you can begin to experiment in the wider
world o personal style.`

1he clothes you should inest in are the
ones that suit your lie style and carry you
through the myriad demands o your
workday-and do not seem out o date
within a year or two or een three o
making a purchase.`

Inesting in classics will pay o in the
long run.`

1hen, it gies solid, practical adice. Some
examples: 1he heart o a man`s wardrobe
remains the suit. \our irst suit should be
as timeless and classic and perectly itted
as your wallet will allow. And it should
probably be blue, although gray is okay,
too. 1he nay suit is the cornerstone o a
man`s wardrobe.`

Limit yoursel to two patterns and
textures in any outit ,three is possible i
you hae impeccable taste, - or example,
a nailhead gray suit, striped tie, and solid
colored shirt. 1ry to aoid wearing
patterns that are too similar. \hen mixing
patterns, there should be a change in
scale.`

I you were trying to pare down your
wardrobe to the absolute minimum, the
two essential trousers would be gray
lannels and khakis.`

Color harmony inoles combining
dierent shades o the same color. 1he
harmonizing impulse is ery strong, and
most men tend to dress in this manner.
Choosing hues that contrast can also
make or eectie combinations. 1he
choices are limitless, but a degree o
sophistication is required. In general,
choose shirt colors that are lighter than
the suit. Close matching o shirt color to
suit eokes a Cosa Nostra underling and
should be resered or o hours.`

Next to white, blue is the most ersatile
color in the masculine shirt wardrobe.
Blue also goes with just about eerything
and suits all complexions and hair
shades.`

\ithin a gentleman`s wardrobe, the sport
jackets multiply the separate pants-and-
jacket combinations that can be made,
thus giing new lie to other garments.
Since sport jackets hae personality, they
gie your wardrobe lair. In general, i the
sport jacket has a pattern, choose a solid
color pants. I the jacket is solid, you can
be more imaginatie in your choice o
trousers. It also makes sense to pair light
jackets with dark trousers and ice ersa.`

Learning already 1here`s a lot more. 1he
authors een gie you plenty o short,
interesting historical anecdotes o the
origin o a particular style or abric. And
it`s literally Men`s lashion 101. Did you
know that there are six masculine scents:
citrus, wood, loral, leather, spice, and
tobacco ,Although I`m not so sure about
loral.,

1here are two major choices in suit
construction: the traditional constructed`
look and the newer sot` style. Suit
architecture can be two-button, three
button, double-breasted, or three-piece.
Suit wardrobe can include gray nailhead in
worsted wool, nay blue chalk stripe,
mini-hounds tooth check in sot brown,
pinstripe suit, black-and-white Glen plaid
wool suit, and rich brown herringbone
wool-and-mohair three-button model.
Lost already

1hen there are tailored abrics such as
crepe, lannel, sharkskin, tweed, and twill.
And tailored patterns like bird`s eye,
chalk`s stripe, Glen plaid, lerringbone,
nailhead, and windowpane.

lor summer wardrobe abrics, there`s
linen, poplin, rayon, seersucker, and
tropical worsted. lor trousers, there`s
caalry twill, corduroy, lannel, gabardine,
moleskin, and tweed.

Bet you didn`t know that.

Lastly, the authors hae a great sense o
humor, so it`s a great book to keep. 1o
wit:

Remember, you`re making the entrance,
not your cologne.`

An oerly aggressie watch hints at the
grasping intensity o a Daid Mamet
character. Similarly, a thin, skimpy watch
pegs you as eete, a pushoer. Instead, go
or the classic. Rugged construction.
Reined shapes. Stainless steel. Sweep
hands. Numerals. llexible band or
comort.`

One o the great unchallenged laws o
masculine attire is that a glimpse o hairy
leg aboe the stocking is shocking.`

1he issue o comort notwithstanding,
most men need more than a couple o
pairs o Air Jordans to meet the challenges
o lie.`

Len i you think pajamas are square,
you could still use a good robe or two.
1here is something a trile corny about
donning pajamas ater a romantic liaison
and something sexy about putting on a
beautiul robe.`

Creatie types wear jeans with blazers or
a crewneck sweater een to important
business meetings. Unless you are a
partner in Dreamworks, howeer, you
probably should not.`

Curiously, the degree to which a man has
lost his igure seems inersely
proportional to the size o the swimwear
he chooses to put on. Men o sagging
aoirdupois seem inariably to go or the
spandex-brie style o bathing costume,
which exposes yards and yards o unruly
lesh and speciically encourages the belly
to droop massiely oer the bikini
waistline. 1wenty-year-old oarsmen and
body-builder studs, on the other hand,
typically wear baggy, discolored,
throwaway shorts just to show eeryone
else on the beach that they are
nonchalant.`

Like impeccable manners, appropriate
dress will be quietly respected by anyone
you step out with, unless you`re dating
Courtney Loe.`

\hile the words black tie` engraed on
the bottom o an initation can strike
terror in the hearts o some, there is
absolutely no cause or alarm. Black tie is
your riend, not your enemy.`

Now, publicly, the cigar has become a
widely abused, somewhat noxious yuppie
power accessory, a walking lreudian slip.
At parties, cigars can be intrusie and
silly.`

So is this book enough to make me look
like George It`s a good start to learn the
essentials. But it`s a big jump rom
clueless to Clooney. Since an editor`s
salary can only go so ar ,I`m sure George
can aord his own personal stylist and
blow the equialent o my entire year`s
salary on clothes,, let me take this one
step at a time. Or maybe, I should just
crop my hair and stop shaing or a
couple o days. 1hat might work.

Nah.