BROKEN PROMISES

I know there are some things you can't change. I know there are some situations where apologies hold no bearings. I know that twists of fate bring people together. And then, something happens that can tear them apart. I know that I will never forget you, for you will always have a place in my heart.

The first time they met, he was sitting alone at a lunch table, reading a book. He was dressed in the school uniform, but given his thin and gangly frame, it seemed as if the grey slacks and navy shirt was carelessly draped over him. He ceremoniously shifted his frameless glasses upon his nose. His eyes, behind the atrocity of those spectacles, were large and hazel, resembling an innocent childs and matched perfectly with the pin straight hair that fell onto his forehead. It was Sarahs first day at Jeffersons , and finding no other empty seat in the cafeteria, she walked up to him and sat in front of him, waiting for a full two minutes before he registered her presence and looked up. Hi, she said, offering him a tentative grin, I am Sarah. Sarah Walter. I am new here. The look he gave her discouraged her from continuing. Confusion, annoyance, sadness-a gamut of emotions flitted across his face, before he lifted his glasses up again with his forefinger. Are you talking to me? She almost sighed in relief after hearing him respond. There isnt anyone else around here, right? she asked, with a laugh. He looked around; taking her words seriously and shook his head. No, I guess not. I am Matthew, he said with a small smile. I go by Matt though, he added. Who would have known that it would be the beginning of one of the most beautiful friendships ever? They were thirteen then, barely old enough to understand anything of importance, let alone something as deep as friendship. But that was pretty much the day Sarah befriended Matt, much to his disdain, as he was sort of a loner. Their school wasnt huge, but that didnt stop their peers from being judgemental. And like most schools, Jefferson was no stranger to the system of cliques. There were the jocks, the cheerleaders (who were the populars, with distaste for anyone below them in the social strata), the nerds and the loners (considered as the base of the entire social ladder). Matt, unfortunately, belonged to the latter category. After a week of hanging out with Matt, while trying to bring him out of his shell, people started noticing. One of the cheerleaders, Bethany, came up to Sarah and told her, Hey Sarah, why dont you come and sit with us instead of that nerdy loner? We are way more interesting than he will ever be. Sarah ignored them all, and still talked to Matt, because to her, he was way more interesting and a nicer human being than all of the populars taken together. They talked about everything in the mornings and during recess. It started with books, and then shifted to movies, music, sports and anything and everything under the sun. Sarah

knew that Matt wasnt ready to talk about why he was a social recluse. She understood that and decided to give him space. By a month, people stopped picking on Matt. Sarah was curious about the abrupt change in the attitude of the people and asked Matt about it. Oh, now they feel sorry for me. Thats why, he replied tersely. Huh? was Sarahs oh-so-intelligent response. Matt rolled his eyes at her. Its because of you, he said, exasperated, putting a bookmark in the latest novel he was engrossed in. You are scaring them away. Are you kidding me? Me? And scary? I asked, appalled. Matt huffed. You are popular. And when someone of your kind in a school this small, talks to a nobody like me, people stop bothering me. I guess. More out of curiosity and pity, than anything else. Matt had no idea how glad Sarah was, to hear that. Their friendship bloomed, as days passed by. They worked together during class assignments, stayed back after school and bought lemon tarts from the shop next to the school, ate them on the rooftop and at times, got caught by the teachers. By the next year, they became inseparable. Their society didnt approve of such a close friendship between a boy and a girl, but that did not deter them. They were nonchalant about that. That year, their school held a competition on science models. Sarah and Matt were placed in different teams, yet they managed to make time for each other and talk about how things were going in their respective groups. Their team members were not too happy about this when they found out. Sarah worked really hard for the competition while one of Matts team members did all the work for his team. When Matts team won the competition, Sarah was beyond jealous and angry. She didnt talk to Matt for days. Matt kept on wondering why Sarah was giving him this silent treatment, hurt etched in his large, doe-like eyes. Days later, when she was sitting on the rooftop, reading a novel, Matt couldnt take it anymore. He came up to her with two lemon tarts and sat beside her. Hey, he said, I missed you. Oh Matt, Sarah hugged him, I missed you so much more. My stupid pride stopped me from going up to you and apologising. They just enjoyed each others presence, eating their lemon tarts until they almost got caught by the teacher. They couldnt stop laughing after that episode. Sarah was so glad to finally have her best friend back again. Friends forever? she asked Matt, extending her pinkie, which Matt wrapped with his own and smiled, Friends forever. And thats a promise. The next year, Matt was no longer the shy, gangly loner who always used to sit in a corner, engrossed in a book. He was taller, bigger and more social. He started smirking a lot and girls practically threw themselves at his feet, when he spoke to them. He still acted normal around Sarah, or so she kept telling to herself.

A year later, Sarah noticed a change in Matts behaviour towards her. Though he was still the sweet, protective best friend, there was something that made Sarah ponder. He would talk to her with hidden remarks and compliments. Little winks. Frequent hugs. She couldnt make anything of it, until one day, he put a little note in her locker. Matt had revealed his true feelings for her, in that note. He wrote that he loved her, loved everything about her. If it wasnt for Sarah, he wouldnt be who he was today. He didnt want to be her best friend any longer, but something much more. He signed the note off with a smiling face and a heart with his name. Sarah sighed after reading the note. She admired him for his courage, especially with someone like her. His best friend. She panicked, knowing not what to do, what to say or what to feel. She confided in her best girlfriend, who claimed that this was puppy love. Nothing more than infatuation. And the best thing would be to ignore it. Sarah had no idea that she was one of those girls, who begged for Matts undivided attention every day. So, a day later, when Matt came up to her, smiling knowingly and confidently, Sarahs breath wavered at what she was about to tell him. Hundreds of thoughts flew through her mind at that instant. She even thought of making an excuse. But then, she blurted out the worst possible thing that she could have that day. I dont feel the same way for you,Matt. I am so sorry. Matts smile faltered and he furrowed his brows as he casually leaned against the wall. But Sarah knew him better than he thought-she understood that he needed something to support him and that little twitch in his bottom lip meant that he was close to tears. It killed Sarah to see him that way, but she kept a straight face. Oh, I see, was all he said before he walked away, disappointed. That was the last moment Matt talked to Sarah in a long time. In the middle of that year, Matt moved across the country. Sarah found this out through Facebook, a month before he was scheduled to leave. Before leaving, he asked all his friends, Sarah excluded, for their Skype usernames and emails. Sarah died a little inside, even though she knew that Matt already had her Skype and e-mail. She just didnt expect him to get over her so quickly. Sarah missed him a lot. Their friendship was ruined just because she hadnt thought before speaking. She decided to respect Matts decision if he never wanted to forgive her. She had shattered him. She saw him break before her own eyes. But she had learnt to control her emotions long ago. She started the next year without Matt. She felt like a fish out of water; nothing seemed right. Every day, she heard her friends trading stories of Facebook chats with Matt. And even as his once- best friend, Sarah didnt get a single message, let alone a chat. As his best friend, Sarah didnt understand exactly when they stopped being best friends. She would take anything to take back what she said that day. She had always loved him too, but not how he loved her. She had loved him like a brother, someone she could confide her deepest secrets to. Not as someone she would be romantically involved with. Matt was just too special to her for all that.

It was a year, since that fateful day. And Sarah hadnt heard a direct word from Matt. He still lived across the country, and Sarah had no idea how he was doing, apart from his occasional Facebook status and photo updates. After sometime, he started posting pictures with a beautiful girl. He had grown taller. These pictures made Sarahs heart ache because it made her miss him even more. Then one day, he messaged her on Facebook. Hi. That one, little word made Sarah stare at the chat box for a whole five minutes, not believing that he had finally decided to talk to her again. Are you talking to me again? she typed, unsure of what to say. Even though they were distances apart, Sarah knew that he was smiling, just like she was. It reminded her of the first time they had met. They ended up talking for four hours that night. They had a lot of catching up to do. Memories of how they met and their first conversation flooded through Sarah. The little part of her heart that went missing finally returned when they bade each other goodbye that night. Matt made it clear to her that he didnt want to go back to being best friends with her, because it would rekindle his feelings for her, which she could probably never return. So, they agreed with just catching up occasionally, even though it hurt so much to say it. Seeing pictures of him with the other girl, made her sigh and think back to that day, with a heart full of regret. But she had her chances years ago, and Sarah knew that Matt did not deserve to get hurt again. She would be fine and will always find a way to be. She was proud of Matt. He was now on his own, meeting new people, trying new things. She was happy to have been a part of his life, once and will never regret befriending him, even though it didnt last a lifetime, like they had once promised. Some promises are just meant to be broken, and this one, though bittersweet, was for the better. Sarah promised to be there for Matt forever, and always hope the best for him. Because despite everything that happened, Matt deserved to be happy. THE END Sagarica Brahma