And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity

in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought. [ar Rum 30:21]

"Good among you are those who are good to their wives and I am very good to my wives." [Tirmidhi] - We often discuss and hear in the Khutbas and Da'wah campains how Islam elevated the status of women. We all are aware of the evil practice of the Arabs in Pre-Islam to which the Quran makes a reference to:

Today's talk is going to be different. I may speak about controversial issues which will make some people uneasy. However, it is crucial that such issues be discussed. I apologize in advance if something I say may offend you..... - Domestic violence is the single major cause of injury to women in America."Nearly one quarter of women in the United States - more than 12 million- will be abused by a current or former partner some time during their lives," according to the American Medical Association - the North American Council for Muslim Women says that approximately 10 percent of Muslim women are abused emotionally, physically, and sexually by their Muslim husbands. - While I was preparing for this, I happened to stumble upon a website that had information of Muslim domestic abuse, near the end, this is what it said in regards to their response to the issue: Pray that God will Send women of faith who can share the good news of Gods love and salvation through Jesus to Muslim women in every area of the world. Move in the hearts of U.S. women to begin seeing and interacting with the Muslim women in their neighborhood. Reveal himself to Muslim women, remove their "veil" of unbelief and draw them into his love and salvation.

- Now, ask yourselves, a woman that is put into such a situation, what will she do? She can't turn to the Muslims. They will spread gossip, or be to ashamed to speak out. She will have to ask the government for help. On the day of Qiyamah, who will be held accountable?! By Allah, we will not only be held accountable for the woman but her generations to come as well!!! - We need to stop defending Islam in regards to women and instead DEFEND WOMEN WITH ISLAM.... - The Prophet [ NEVER] lifted his hands upon anything, not upon a woman, nor a slave, except when he fought in the Path of Allah. [Muslim] - The Prophet was not obscene, nor indecent, nor was he clamorous in the bazaars. He did not repay evil with evil, but instead he forgived and overlooked. [Tirmidhi] - You have husbands that abuse, curse, spit and do all sorts of mistreatment to their wives and these are sometimes the same people who are regular mussallees! -We have a problem with the way we percieve our woman. The way we percieve woman isn't Mohammadan. -Upon occasion, a person went to Sayyidina Umar R.A. to complain of his wife's back answering and harshness. As he came to the house of Umar, he could hear Umar's wife answering back to him. He thought to himself that Umar has the same problem, it's a sensitive issue, I should leave. Umar had heard the footsteps and when no one approached, he opened the door and saw a man walking off. He called to him and asked him what was his need. He expressed his hesitation and reluctantly told him the reason for his vist. Umar explains to the man "My wife is ill tempered, short tempered but I overlook the (trivial) wrong of my wife for the many favors of her upon me. My wife is the veil between me and Jahannum.[i fulfill my desires through her and this keeps my mind and heart clean from thoughts of zina and immorality]. She cooks my food. She bakes my bread. She sees to my children." The man was reduced to tears and said he would also make that his attitude.

And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good. [an Nisaa 4:19] - In one narration Nabi is reported to have said: That husband who will patiently bear the ill manners of his wife, Allah will grant him the same reward that he gave to Ayoob a.s. with sickness and that wife who will patiently bear the ill manners of her husband, Allah will reward that woman with the same reward that he gave to 'Asiyah a.s. (the wife of Firoun). The Prophet of Allah used to mend his sandals, sew clothing, do

domestic work, clean his clothing, milk his goats, and attend to his personal needs. [Tirmidhi] Nabi would pick up a broom and sweep the house to help his wives. If your wife is a little bit tired and says to you "If you don't mind, can you sweep up the house." Some of us will answer (will do it). Some of us find it heavy. Saheeh? As if it decreases your manhood. Saheeh? Be honest. Who is the master of man? Who's more manly than the Messenger of Allah . Some people mix up (maleness) and ( manliness). ( maleness) is present even in donkeys, dogs, bulls. ( manliness) is different. Manliness is a state of elevation. Manliness is when I see someone weaker than me honor him). That's manliness. ( I IT'S NOT THE WOMAN'S DUTY TO DO ANY WORK FOR YOU! There are those amongst us who expect our wives to shine our shoes, iron our clothes, make the food, take care of the children, keep the house clean. Then when she is untidy we forget all that she has done and complain about her appearance. - Upon occasion the Prophet was sitting in a room with Aisha r.a. and fixing his shoes. It was very warm, and Aisha looked to his blessed forehead and noticed that there were beads of sweat on it. She became overwhelmed by the majesty of that sight and [kept] staring at him long enough for him to notice. He said "What's the matter?" She replied , 'If Abu Bukair Al Huthali, the poet saw you, he would know that this poem was written for you." The Prophet asked " What did he say?" She replied: Abu Bukair said that if you looked to the majesty of the moon, it twinkles and lights up the world for eveybody to see." So the Prophet got up, walked to Aisha, kissed her between the eyes, and said, "Wallahi Aisha! You are like that to me and more!" - Upon occasion, the Prophet was traveling with Aisha R.A. other Sahaba were amongst them. They came to a place called Bayda and Aisha R.A. reports that she lost her necklace. So she went to the Messenger of Allah and informed him that she had lost her necklace. The Prophet of Allah ordered the Sahaba to look for it. Amongst them was Abu Bakr, Umar, the giants amonst the Sahaba. Imagine their looking under camels, all over the place. THE NECKLACE WAS NOT EVEN OF GOLD,SILVER,NOR DIAMONDS BUT MERELY BLACK BEADS THAT HER SISTER ASMA HAD GIVEN HER!!! The Sahaba couldn't find it and they got mad and went to Abu Bakr and said "Look what your daughter has done." Abu Bakr R.A. goes to Aisha R.A. and finds the Prophet of Allah asleep with his blessed head resting on her lap. Who is Abu Bakr? The same man who was stung by a snake during Hijrah, because he didn't want to disturb the Prophet . Abu Bakr walked up to Aisha and squeezes her thigh to such an extent that it began to pain her and says to her "Do you see what you've done?" Allah then reveals the verses of Tayammum. ----The Lesson to derive from here is, the next time you are going out with your wife, you

are all dressed and ready, don't shout at your wife TA'AAL or CHALLO!!