DEVELOPMENTAL LOG 1 TEAM MEMBERS : MANISHA DOKANIA ,NEERAJA PADMAN , SUNNY AGRAWAL

This is the first sitting as a group that we had together . So all of us were quite unsure as to how to go about it which led to a small amount of apprehension and anxiety . Later our facilitator provided us a sense of direction in this matter advising each of us to discuss our areas of improvement to the others as a way forward as to how to go about it and that in the future all the sittings must be unstructured in nature . We sat down and got to work . Then again , the issue arose as to who will discuss their areas of improvement first among the three of us . Sunny took the lead and suggested we go in turns and he seemed extremely keen on discussing his issues first which I felt was to get done with the session and move on . He seemed a bit agitated and restless while suggesting this revealing the same . We both agreed to the same and he started discussing about a minor area of improvement of about how he tends to get obsessed or over focused on a topic or job that interests him and he tends to ignore everything else . He also said that he doesnt think that he has any other area of improvement which itself I felt was an area to be improved . He seems a bit overconfident about himself that either he doesnt know his other weaknesses or he is afraid to admit it to us since its the first sitting . We listened to him diligently about his problem and he cited many instances which happened in his life because of this . We both then started offering him suggestions as to how he could overcome the same which was not called for . He was not accepting many of our suggestions saying that still he might behave in that manner in spite of implementing all our suggestions . Then later , Manisha started discussing her problems and she said that she finds difficulty in managing time and relationships (friendships) over here . I was a bit surprised by her revelation as I have always felt that Manisha is one of the few people who manages time extremely well in our class as she juggles between Placecom activites , studies and time with friends in an extremely balanced manner . However she also mentioned that she has difficulty in managing time between her friends in HR and in PGDM . Since I also have a lot of friends and I face the same problem , I empathized with her on the same and sometimes conflicting situations arise where you have to choose between them to spend time with . I also mentioned that when this happened for me , I had to forcibly prioritize people and then decide whom to spend my time with . But I did not suggest her to do the same as it might not work for her as it did for me . Sunny was quiet most of the time and he seemed pondering over what all was being said then . Then I discussed my issue that the biggest problem that I face now is that I tend to expect a lot from people whom I am close to in terms of behaviors , feelings and attitudes . Its like this thought always crosses my mind that when I give 200% to a relationship , I want a 100% from the other side . I know that this is wrong but somehow I am not able to get rid of it . So I went along a different route and decided to keep people at bay and not be close to anyone in particular . When I was saying all this , Sunny impulsively suggested that I want to control people without hearing me completely . Manisha was listening to me patiently all the while then . After suggesting this , Sunny left . Manisha heard me out more and she said that she has also experienced similar problems and that I should try to get over this as soon as possible . At the same time , I was feeling extremely uncomfortable and vulnerable while doing the same as to opening up to Sunny and Manisha who were my friendly classmates but not close enough to know my darkest areas .

DEVELOPMENTAL LOG 2 TEAM MEMBERS : MANISHA DOKANIA , NEERAJA PADMAN , SUNNY AGRAWAL

This was our second sitting together as a group and I believe that we were all more at ease with each other by then in terms of opening up ourselves . Initially I spoke about the issue that was troubling me then . It was regarding the change in attitudes of people around me once I got placed . I was highly disturbed at that time regarding the fact the people around me in college were expecting me to take a lackadaisical attitude towards studies and project because I was placed . There was a distinct division of the placed and unplaced people in the class which was not a very congenial environment for the batch . Sunny also then empathized with me on the same saying that he has also been experiencing the same since he had gotten his PPO from RPG in June . He also shared this experience of his that certain faculty were also discouraging him from the research work he was attempting to do and saw whatever he was a doing as a part of his complacent attitude of being placed . And this affected him a lot . Even I shred my experience then of facing a similar kind of attitude from faculty while doing a project . Manisha had a different set of problems with her placement . She had expected more from her job offer especially in terms of compensation which she strongly believes she deserves . However she was disappointed that she had to settle for something that she had not wished for . And over that , her near and dear ones especially her family was not supporting or consoling her in an effective manner . I still felt that Sunny was still holding back and was not keen on discussing his intimate details with us while Manisha was very open and vocal about the issues she faced . However Sunny was a very keen listener and he had very high observational skills while Manisha too though she listened keenly , she was a bit impatient at times and would jump in giving suggestions which was uncalled for which even I did at some point of time . It was really a good experience for me as we were all more at ease with each other and discussing the pressing issues that I had in my mind was a relief for me .

DEVELOPMENTAL LOG 3 TEAM MEMBERS : MANISHA DOKANIA , NEERAJA PADMAN , SUNNY AGRAWAL

This was our third sitting together as a group and we tried to make our discussion as unstructured as possible . Again we attempted to discuss the issues that we had in our mind . Sunny mentioned about not having any issue troubling him then . He then talked about his family , his family business , how he was the youngest son and his father had very high hopes for him to join the family business like his cousin brothers . However Sunny was interested in the same right now and he wanted to work in the corporate for some time which his father did not approve of . I felt strongly for what he said then because this was I had experienced throughout my life . My father did not want a girl child and when I was born he was thoroughly disappointed . He felt that I would never be able to accomplish anything in education and career wise and believed in marrying me off soon as he thought that was the only good that could come out of everything . To this I responded in a rebellious manner right form childhood up to college where I was an absolute tomboy and worked hard to prove myself in terms of providing a good education for myself on basis of merit and attempting to build a successful career path for myself . The reason I put stretch goals in front of myself at each stage in life was because my father was never happy with what I did and I was desperate to prove myself every time .But now I realize that no matter how much I try , I can never make my father happy. When I shared all this , Sunny asked whether the whole purpose of my life was to prove myself worthy to my father . I said that it was not but the reason I am very rebellious and aggressive by nature when it comes to my success in professional life/education was probably because of my fathers influence . He then said that I am not entirely different from my parents and there are some similarities between us which I should respect . He asked me to think and tell me some aspects of behavior which was the same as my parents . There were many , however I listed me being prudent about finances and being averse to display public display of affection because my parents have never hugged me or kissed me since childhood . I also said that though I wish for the same I cant be able to come about and hug a person when I want to because of this . Manisha then started talking about her fear of commitment in love . She was highly disturbed by the fact that even though she loved someone for a lot many years , she was scared of being committed when it came to marriage because she was not sure whether the person was right for her or not . We both listened as she allayed her fears and I later just said that it is just a passing phase and not to dwell on it a lot and do what her heart told her to do so . I was surprised by the fact that I could reveal myself so much to both of them because I was not still trusting them to disclose all this . Sunny and Manisha were both keen in listening and very supportive .

DEVELOPMENTAL LOG 4 TEAM MEMBERS - MANISHA DOKANIA , NEERAJA PADMAN , SUNNY AGRAWAL

This was the fourth sitting that we had together .By now , we were all in a comfort zone with each other that we decided that we would share our insights about we felt about each other in terms of attitudes and behaviors rather than just sharing experiences . Sunny started by saying that he had very high observational skills and he gave feedback to both of us . He said to me that he didnt understand my personality at all and that I was not professional enough as he highlighted a previous experience he had faced when I did not vouch for him while we were in the same committee . The issue then was there was a major conflict between him and some other team members of the committee and that I had to act as a mediator in terms of communication between them . When an important issue was to be discussed , I was approached by Sunny to resolve the same . Though I tried my level best to communicate in between , the huge egos in Sunny and the other team members prevented them from even being in the same room together and resolving the issue that I left the cause because ultimately it was their onus to resolve these issues and not me . This was what Sunny had highlighted as me being unprofessional which was uncalled for . At the same time while retaliating to all this , I realized that Sunny was still thinking that I was being defensive and I was not accepting what he wanted me to . At the same time , I felt that he was very rigid and not flexible enough to think from my point of view and position with regard to this matter . Sunny then said to Manisha that she had the habit of intervening in between while we talked to give her suggestions which she herself had realized by then and was trying to curb it herself . I then said to Sunny that he was being very closed and not opening up much during the sessions to which he agreed to and said that he has always been that kind of a person and that it would take many more sittings to actually even try to overcome it . But somehow I felt that he wouldnt attempt to do so as he was very rigid by nature and didnt believe in changing himself for better or for worse . Manisha was quietly listening all along and didnt attempt to give any feedback to us though she supported about what I said about Sunny . It was a different session for me because for the first time , a conflict arose during discussion and we were both able to express our views even though we never reached a consensus .