Glasgow University
3rd December 2008
Choked up
Tom Bonnick finds the latest
Palahniuk adaptation hard to swallow
Fire rages in West End
Film
George Binning & Ishbel Begg
Escort agency advertises on campus
AN ESCORT AGENCY HAS ATTEMPTED
to recruit University students with targeted
advertising distributed across campus.
The adverts called for “discreet and open
minded” girls over 18 years old and stressed:
“all nationalities welcome”. They also claimed
to offer potential candidates the opportunity of
earning over £2,000 per week. The small fliers
were discovered pinned up inside a number of
Glasgow University buildings, including the
John McIntyre building and the Department of
Film and Television Studies.
Gavin Lee, president of the SRC, took a
Scottish Student Newspaper of the Year
Egyptology
Journalist Hossam El Hamalawy discusses
Egyptian revolution with Pete Ramand
Features
George Binning & Amy McGregor
strong line against the advertising campaign
targetting students.
He said: “It is disgusting that vulnerable
girls are being targeted by Escort agencies. The
SRC is deeply concerned that students may be
forced into sex work.”
Posing as a potential escort, a Guardian
reporter replied to the agency advert, speaking
to a man identified only as ‘Robbie’. He said he
was accustomed to employing students.
He told Guardian: “Plenty of students work
James Porteous
for us. If a few girls were being sent out on a
night to the same function we would never send
out any from the same university, you know, in
case they knew each other. We realise girls who
work for us that are at university want to keep
it discreet.”
Under the same guise, Guardian was
told by ‘Ben’, a source at a different escort
agency, that they received regular applications
from students.
He said: “We have a lot of girls who are
students. I receive about 20 applications a
week; there is always at least one from a
George Binning
NUMBERS ONE TO THREE OF LILYBANK
Terrace were gutted by fire on Wednesday,
November 12, just a few doors away from both
academic departments and student flats.
Eight fire engines and roughly fifty firemen
were deployed to fight the blaze, which was
visible for miles across the city. Sparks and
embers were seen blowing across the adjacent
rooftops and rubble caved outwards onto the
street below.
Local residents reported the fire at 10.50pm
on Wednesday night; this was confirmed by
Martin Barker, Crew Commander of Strathclyde
Fire Brigade’s Human Resources Directorate.
He said: “This was a Level 3 response
with the first fire appliance mobilised at 22.52.
Therefore, we can assume the first call received
by our Fire Control Centre would have been
approximately 22.50.”
As fire fighters struggled with the inferno
throughout the night, a sudden change of wind
caused the fire to spread even faster. The flames
were not completely extinguished until 2.40 pm
on Thursday.
Several other services were called to the
scene including Police, the Gas Board, Scottish
Power, Glasgow City Council Building Control
and Strathclyde Fire & Rescue Media Office.
For the duration of the following day,
Lilybank House, which accommodates
(Continued on page 4)
student. A lot will burn out after six months.”
Linda Thompson is the Development
Officer for Women's Support Project; her remit
is to raise awareness of the issues around
commercial sexual exploitation.
She warned that escorting very often carried
an unwritten agreement to have sex with the
customer, and that agencies posing as legiti-
mate businesses were exploiting loopholes in
the law that would ultimately criminalise the
escorts.
She said: “Common sense tells us that any
(Continued on page 6)
2 NEWS
IN BRIEF Guardian Q&A with Hazel Blears
Web success for
lecturer’s article
An article by a Glasgow University philos-
ophy lecturer was the one of the most
popular on the BBC website last month.
Over 592,000 people read Dr. David
Bain’s analysis of four major philosophical
questions, which was written to coincide
with World Philosophy Day.
The article was the most emailed and
the second-most popular in the world on the
BBC’s website on November 20.
A spokesman for the University
explained the significance of the article’s
popularity.
He said: “To be the BBC News website's
most e-mailed story around the world is a
great achievement and demonstrates the real
interest there is in philosophy.”
The article invites readers to consider
four philosophical puzzles, each challenging
the morals, ethics and rationale underlying
our decision-making.
Dr. Bain told Guardian that he was
pleased with the feedback he had received.
He said: “The reaction impressed on me
not only the extensive reach of the Internet,
but the widespread thirst for deep and diffi-
cult questions.
“I received nearly 100 replies, some
wanting to apply to Glasgow. The only
article that was more read on the BBC that
day was about a Czech underwear model
who lacks a belly button. Not even philos-
ophy can compete with that.”
HUB to become The
Fraser Building
The HUB building is to be known formally
as The Fraser Building, despite the fact that
the majority of the development’s adver-
tising has been under its original name.
A University spokesperson said: “The
HUB project management group is pleased
to announce that an official name has been
selected for the building. The HUB devel-
opment will be formally known as The
Fraser Building.”
The name is to recognise Sir William
Fraser’s contribution to Glasgow University
over the past fifty years.
A spokesperson for the University
explained: “Sir William Kerr Fraser was
Principal of the University from 1988 until
1995, and then a very active Chancellor
until his retirement in 2006.
“The naming of this building recognises
his massive contribution, not only to the
university’s development, but also to the
welfare and success of the many students
who studied here during his stewardship.
“Sir William was President of the
SRC during his own studies here in the
1950s and has retained a keen interest in
student affairs.”
Sir William and Lady Marion Fraser
will officially open the Fraser Building on
January 13.
guardiannews@src.gla.ac.uk
George Binning
PRIOR TO THE JOHN SMITH MEMORIAL
Debate, Hazel Blears enjoyed a drink with the
Glasgow University Labour Club and took time
to speak with Guardian.
Have you always been politically active?
Yes, I first got involved through my trade
union; I joined my union before I joined the
Jim Wilson
Report reviews Holyrood tax powers
A RECENTLY PUBLISHED REPORT FROM
an expert economic panel established by the
Calman Commission has been met with mixed
reactions in Scotland.
The interim report, which was to examine
alternatives for allocating funds to Scotland,
comes in the wake of the Westminster depart-
ment’s submission to the Calman Commission,
which did not recommend any further transfer
of powers from Westminster to Holyrood. The
chairman leading the commission, Sir Kenneth
Calman, was elected Chancellor of Glasgow
University in 2006.
The publication of the report coincided
the tenth anniversary of The Scotland Act,
which created devolution. The report was to
offer updated recommendations on issues such
as greater financial powers for the Scottish
Parliament, and the Barnett formula, which is
designed to automatically apply a proportionate
share of any increase (or decrease) in compa-
rable English spending programmes.
However, the expert economic group,
chaired by Professor Anton Muscatelli, Principal
of Heriot-Watt University, has decided not to
make specific recommendations on Holyrood's
powers over taxation and spending, in contrast
to the pro-Union parties’ expectations of
enhanced financial powers.
Days before the report’s release Tom Clarke,
Labour MP and architect of the 1998 Scotland
Act, commented: “We shall see what the
Labour party. I was a shop steward, a safety
rep, and then I got involved with lots of
community groups and campaigned to get a law
centre in my community.
In those days we had a Tory government so
I was organising the march for jobs, protesting,
doing all the things young people do.
Then I joined the Labour party and some-
body said to me: ‘Have you ever thought about
being a councillor?’ So I was a councillor for
eight years in Salford, my own city, and had a
fantastic time getting things done.
And then somebody said: ‘Have you ever
thought about standing for parliament?’ and
this is what happens to you in life: you end up
in the Cabinet!
Speaking to the Labour Club you referred
to the House of Commons as predominantly
old, white, middle class and male. How long
do you think it will take to achieve a more
representative parliament?
Well, it’s just about a hundred years since
women started getting the vote and I hope it
doesn’t take another hundred years to get some
kind of equality. I think it is getting better.
“We have got a number of MPs from
different ethnic backgrounds; we‘ve got five
Muslim MPs, but we haven’t yet got a Muslim
woman MP, and I’m hoping that Rushnara Ali,
who’s our candidate up in East London, will
actually be the first, which is fantastic.
But I think we have a way to go, and I really
want to see more young people in parliament
because the world is changing so fast now
Ishbel Begg
Commission says, but it has to be remembered
that one of the referendum questions which the
Labour party put, honouring our commitment
that there shall be a Scottish Parliament was,
were the Scottish people in favour of tax raising
to a limit of 3p?
“Now that’s a power that no legislation in
Hollyrood has chosen to use, but its there. And
given the problems that have emerged from
the Scottish Government freezing the council
tax, for example, its not unreasonable for us to
return to the issue and say, ‘Wait a minute, you
do have tax raising powers,’ and also to reflect
on whether those go far enough or go too far.”
Sophie Hall, President of Glasgow
University’s Liberal Democrats, claimed that
the majority of people in Scotland would
support the aims of the Calman Commission.
She explained: “We welcome the Calman
report because it would lead towards giving
us a fiscal home rule which is what people
are actually looking for. Most of the Scottish
people don't want a status quo or indepen-
dence, however moving towards greater fiscal
autonomy is widely welcomed by the people of
Scotland.”
Paul O’Kane, Vice Chair of Glasgow
University’s Labour Club, told Guardian he
felt that, thus far, devolution had been a very
successful process.
3rd December 2008
which means having people with contemporary
experience is really important.
Gordon Brown today dismissed speculation
of a summer election, will he call the election
as late as possible?
I wouldn’t dream of speculating on when
we will have an election. The task in hand
now is helping people through what is a very
difficult financial situation and I can genuinely
tell you this: the whole of the Government is
completely focussed on keeping a roof over
people’s heads, keeping them in their jobs and
making sure they get through. It’s not the time
for election talk.
But Northern Rock’s rate of repossessions
has doubled since its nationalisation in
February, and is 50% ahead of any of its
market competitors on this front. How is this
conducive to “keeping a roof over people’s
heads”?
It’s not good at all, and people are very
worried. But it is a lot less than in the recession
in the early ‘90s. That’s why I have brought
forward a program of £1 billion both to build
more social housing for rent, but also to make
sure we can help people with their mortgages
over this next year or so, so we don’t see people
getting repossessed and out on the streets.
In June 2007, Hazel Blears was appointed
Secretary of State for Communities and
Local Government.
He said: “The Calman Commission has
assessed devolution after ten years and has
found a wholly positive and forward moving
process, although there is room for debate and
discussion on progress on a number of key
issues.”
The commission, first proposed by Wendy
Alexander, former leader of the Scottish Labour
Party, won support from the Tories and Liberal
Democrats to review constitutional arrange-
ments. The SNP have chosen not to back the
project, instead launching their rival National
Conversation project.
SNP MSP for Glasgow, Sandra White
told Guardian that the National Conversation
project will offer a wider focus and be open to
everyone in Scotland.
She said: “The National Conversation,
unlike the Calman Report which only engaged
with invited audiences, is open to everyone
to comment on what they wish to see for the
future of Scotland, independence, status quo,
more powers or indeed any suggestions that
they feel will benefit Scotland.
“The Calman Commission offers no such
choice and is very narrow in its focus. As a
party who wish to see Scotland flourish and
take responsibility for its own affairs we could
not support such a narrow agenda.”
The Commission will release the first part
of their report before the end of this year, with
the final report expected by the end of 2009.
3rd December 2008 guardiannews@src.gla.ac.uk NEWS 3

Nancy That!

>> George Binning

WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED THAT THE
John Smith Memorial Debate would be the
scene of such bawdy rollicking and tabloid-
worthy shenanigans?

Narrow Labour win at GUU

George Binning
“THIS HOUSE WOULD RE-ELECT THE
Labour Government” was the title of the
bi-annual John Smith Memorial Debate, held in
the historic Debates Chamber of the Glasgow
University Union on November 30.
Hazel Blears MP, the Secretary of State for
Comunities and Local Government, led a bench
of Labour MPs and MSPs, against Lembit Opik
MP, Liberal Democrat, and his coalition of SNP
and Conservative Party MSPs. Andrew Neil,
the eminent journalist and broadcaster, chaired
the debate.
Opik took a jovial approach to the debate
but remained competitive. He was evidently
excited at the prospect of leading a “rainbow
coalition”.
He joked: “We’ve got to remember of
course, whatever the outcome it’s just a bit fun.
May the best team win, so long as it’s us.
“What Glasgow University debating
society has achieved is something that even the
Scottish Parliament couldn’t achieve and that’s
a rainbow coalition, a triumph of negotiation.
Poor old Labour must feel outnumbered three
to one tonight. I’m very fond of Hazel Blears
and I’m here as a critical friend rather than a
nasty enemy.”
There was some discrepancy on the Labour
bench as to Gordon Brown’s actual election
plans. Tom Clarke MP, Labour claimed Gordon
Brown had postponed the election due to the
global economic crisis.
He told Guardian: “Had there been an elec-
tion when Gordon planned to call it originally,
and I think it’s publicly known that that was
quite early when he became prime minister, we
would have won. Yes, we would win an elec-
tion now because I think people do appreciate
the extent of the global crisis and trust Gordon
to deal with it.”
Baron Foulkes MSP, Labour, was adamant
that Gordon Brown had always intended to
hold a late election saying: “It’s always been
his plan to go the full term and he stuck to it.
I have always been of the view that he was
going to weather all the storms he was going
to face.”
During the debate the Labour Party’s argu-
ments played heavily on the unpopularity of
the Conservative Government of the early ‘90s.
Hazel Blears warned the house: “The Tories
will let the recession take its toll.”
Bill Kid MSP, SNP, rebuffed saying that
Labour’s hidden conservative policies were not
to be trusted.
He exclaimed: “Like the snake, Kaa, in the
Jungle Book, Labour stares us in the eye saying
‘trust in me’ as thousands of jobs vanish.”
Jim Wilson
James Porteous
The opposition also brought the house’s
attention to the Afghan and Iraq wars and the
expensive replacement of Trident.
After 90 minutes of heated debate Labour
won a marginal victory with 97 votes to 94.
Andrew Neil, an ex-editor of Guardian, had
difficulty maintaining order in the Debates
Chamber, but was in high spirits.
He told Guardian: “I’ve thoroughly enjoyed
myself because, well just look at this, look at
the numbers, it shows debating is alive and
well. And it was a good, feisty, traditional,
robust Glasgow debate.
But even after the votes had been cast Neil
was reluctant to cast his own vote explaining:
“My BBC contract doesn’t let me say whom
I would vote for, the chairman must remain
neutral.”
Another notable presence that evening
was Andrew Neil’s guest, Nancy Dell’Olio.
Voting in favour of the motion she explained
to Guardian: “I hope Labour is going to be
re-elected but I find it very difficult to ally
completely with Labour or Tories. It is impor-
tant to be pragmatic.
“I’ve enjoyed myself, I love Scotland
though its not my first time here, I’ve been
here a few times for football reasons.”
Would this paper re-elect labour?
Debates, page 11.
Jim Wilson
Admittedly one of the most prestigious
debating events in the country, promising such
a star-studded line up of speakers, was bound
to draw a crowd. But I did not expect to see
the Secretary of State for Local Government,
amongst others, being harangued so loudly from
the balcony by teams of inebriated students. All
this was taken in good cheer and helped to
create an atmosphere not too dissimilar to the
House of Commons itself.
The reasons for Charles Kennedy’s last-
minute cancellation were left to general specu-
lation, though his absence was swiftly over-
shadowed by a far more interesting pres-
ence: the eternal, the ageless, Nancy Dell’Olio.
Once associated with Sven Goran Eriksson,
Miss Dell’Olio now seems to be romantically
attached to Andrew Neil. It seemed fitting
that the chairman of the debate should have
the most glamorous date, with Hazel Blears’
husband, Michael Halsall, coming in at a with-
ered second.
As the chairman’s ‘date’ it was necessary
for her to arrive at least half an hour late with
an entourage of beautiful ladies, a requirement
she fulfilled with ease. Although her lateness
did mean that she was denied entry to the main
debating chamber and had to brave the vulgari-
ties of the balcony.
It was not until the votes were cast that the
real scandal began. Having been instructed to
walk through either the left door or the right in
order to cast one’s vote, Miss Dell’Olio made
for the left door, voting in favour of re-electing
the Labour Government. Eager to catch her for
a brief word I introduced myself, swallowed
my pride, discarded my principles and walked
through the left hand door with her.
With a result of 97 votes to 94, in favour
of the motion, it occurred to me that, had I
followed my better judgment instead of Miss
Dell’Olio, the result would have been 96 to 95.
I then considered the possibility that, if just one
other indifferent student had decided to follow
Nancy, the outcome of the debate might have
been completely different. This possibility soon
became a likelihood, and then very quickly a
certainty in my mind.
Therefore, I put it to you Mr. Chairman,
ladies and gentlemen of the house, that the
result of this celebrated debate was swung
singlehandedly by Miss Dell’Olio, a lady who
was not only not a student, nor a member of the
GUU, but who was also over half an hour late,
and who had a vested interest in the Chairman.
“Shame!” I hear you cry.
4 NEWS
Lilybank Terrace fire under investigation
(continued from front page)
the Department of Economics, the Centre for
Business History and the Centre for the History
of Medicine, was closed due to safety concerns,
though there was no physical damage to the
building. All lectures and tutorials to be held in
the building were cancelled on Thursday.
Great George Street and Lilybank Terrace
were also closed to traffic until fire crews
secured the area at around 10:00 am on Friday.
guardiannews@src.gla.ac.uk
Glasgow City Council Building Control
& Public Safety (GCCBCP) were tasked with
assessing the damaged building to determine
whether or not the structure was unstable and
to implement measures to protect the public
and thereafter ensure that any danger to others
is permanently resolved.
Stuart Murie, Group Manager of GCCBCP,
confirmed that no asbestos had been found in
the building.
At the time of going to print, the Fire
Investigation team had yet to ascertain the
source of the fire. Watch Commander Love, of
Strathclyde Incident Research & Investigation
Section (IRIS) told Guardian: “Safety issues on
the site of Lilybank Terrace have prevented the
Incident Research team from investigating the
causes of the fire.”
Lilybank Terrace was designed by the
94% rise in grants
architect David Horne and was built between
for EU students
Craig MacLellan
THE NUMBER OF STUDENTS COMING
to study at Scottish higher education institutions
from other European Union Member States has
risen dramatically over the last five years.
The number of EU students receiving fee
support from the Student Awards Agency for
Scotland (SAAS) has risen 93.8% between
2002-2003 and 2007-2008. There was also a
17.6% year-on-year increase in the figures.
Universities Scotland, the body respon-
sible for representing and promoting Scotland’s
higher education sector, attributes the rise to
increased European mobility, with twelve addi-
tional countries having joined the EU during
the period.
Furthermore, Scotland is one of only a
few countries that are fully accredited to the
Bologna process, whereby degree standards are
more comparable and compatible throughout
Europe.
The general increases in the number of
international students, both from within and
outwith the EU, have brought both economic
and cultural benefits to Scotland.
A spokesperson for Universities Scotland
explained the importance of attracting inter-
national students to Scottish higher education
institutions.
He said: “International students make a
vital contribution to Scotland. Not only in an
3rd December 2008
James Porteous
1881 and 1883. Since 1996 it was the site of
the independent all-girls school, Laurel Park. It
was bought by Hutcheson’s Grammar school in
2001 and served as their main feeder primary
school. The property was recently sold to
Credential Holdings for redevelopment and
stood disused for over a year before the fire.
The terrace was listed as a Grade B.
Building and was also within the Glasgow West
Conservation Area.
economic sense but they also enrich our culture
and society and will often stay in Scotland
after they graduate, enabling Scotland to retain
highly-skilled people.
“It is a testament to the quality and inter-
national reputation of our universities that
international students continue to be attracted
to Scotland.”
The report also shows that the number of
Scottish students having their tuition fees paid
by SAAS, when choosing to study outside
Scotland, has fallen by 20.7% over the last five
years.
This is despite the fact that since 2006-07,
students have been entitled to fee loans, whereby
fees are paid directly to the institution by SAAS
and are then re-paid by students after they have
graduated from university, in a manner similar
to the Scottish student loan system.
Universities Scotland noted, however,
that this level of attraction from mainland
Europe can only be maintained by ensuring
that Scottish institutions remain competitive
amongst the European institutions.
A spokesperson for the organisation
told Guardian: “It is vital that the Scottish
Government ensures Scotland’s higher educa-
tion sector is funded on a similar level to
comparator countries so that institutions can
maintain the high quality of teaching and
student services which attract many interna-
tional students to Scotland.”
Voices unite in plea for peace
3rd December 2008 guardiannews@src.gla.ac.uk NEWS 5

solution. This is something we need to work

Ross Mathers
A MEMBER OF AN OPPOSING MOVEMENT
interrupted a recent rally held by the Glasgow
chapter of OneVoice.
The meeting, which called for an end to
violence in the Middle East, took place in
Glasgow University’s Chapel on November 10
and was one of the first public events since the
founding of the Glasgow branch of OneVoice
earlier this year.
The OneVoice global organisation, which
now has almost 650,000 signatories, began
in 2002 as a grassroots movement that aimed
to give the Israeli and Palestinian people the
opportunity to push for peace together.
With offices in both Israel and Palestine, the
movement has remained committed to working
with both sides to work towards a two-state
solution; adopting the stance that this can only
be achieved with the co-operation of all parties.
Showing the international status of OneVoice,
offices have also been established in London,
Ottawa, and at the headquarters in New York.
Ana Lipnik, an Israeli who is involved in
OneVoice’s efforts to educate and mobilise
people in the Middle East, and who gave
a speech at the recent event in Glasgow,
described the need for international help.
Speaking to Guardian, she said: “In order
to strengthen ourselves we need the support of
international people. It’s hard, because some-
times we feel alone when the world seems to
hate us so much. The media shows what it
wants to show.”
The university chapel, despite torrential
rain outside, was full; with approximately
250 people attending the event while a further
audience listened via a live broadcast over the
Internet.
Antony Silkoff, Chair of the Glasgow
branch of OneVoice, and a third year at
Glasgow University, made clear the importance
of student awareness and support.
He explained: “As students in Glasgow
University we have a choice: we can either
contribute to the problem, or be part of the
on together.”
In addition, Glasgow University’s rector,
Charles Kennedy, gave an introductory speech,
making clear his desire to end the ongoing
conflict. A long-time supporter of peaceful
negotiations in the region, Kennedy’s backing
of OneVoice is seen by Antony Silkoff as a
significant boost to the movement.
He said: “I was delighted Charles Kennedy
came and supported us. It’s so important,
because it represents the views of many students
at Glasgow”.
Gary Butterly, a OneVoice committee
member and former Glasgow University
student, also felt that Glasgow’s association
with the movement was not simply the result
of sympathy for those caught up in the Middle
East violence.
He said: “In Glasgow we’re the best place
to understand the effects of continuing bigotry.
I’m very proud as a Scotsman that we are the
first OneVoice group in Europe. It reflects well
on Glasgow University; on the institution and
its people that an event of such a controversial
and sensitive nature can go ahead.”
The evening was disrupted, however, by a
member of the Scottish Palestinian Solidarity
Campaign accusing OneVoice of diluting the
reality of the conflict and of backing the
Israeli occupation. The situation in Israel and
Palestine was also compared to the apartheid
seen in South Africa.
Speaking to Guardian, OneVoice supporters
said they expected such a reaction. This came
after OneVoice’s leafleting campaign on campus
was disturbed by similar protestors who voiced Stefan Sealey
their concerns over the underlying loyalties and
aims of OneVoice. In her speech, she said: “We are all human such a group, whilst admitting that, with the
Despite the criticisms of the movement beings; we have to stop this… OneVoice is not level of attacks against OneVoice, it must do
as being pro-Israeli, its Palestinian support is about personal views of individuals.” more to attain the support it needs to end the
almost on a par with that of the Israelis. One In this early stage Glasgow’s OneVoice conflict.
such Palestinian, Abeer Al-Natsheh, spoke at branch seems to have already made an impact, Speaking to Guardian, she said: “They’ve
the Glasgow event and described how impor- with the recent meeting apparently bringing the got to get the message out as to what they actu-
tant it was to put aside feelings of hatred and debate to Glasgow permanently. ally are. They have to make sure they’ve got
wrongdoing on both sides in order to bring Glasgow University’s Humanist Chaplain, that clarity. It’s quite clear that there has to be a
about peace. Mandy Evans Ewing, described the value of solution before the peace can come.”

I.T. Services improve computer reliability

George Binning
GLASGOW UNIVERSITY’S I.T. SERVICES
are hopeful that they have eliminated a
computing error that caused a huge number of
the University’s computers to malfunction.
A Guardian survey in early November
found that 25% of the Reading Room’s 110
computers, and 20% of the library’s 490
computers, were out of action due to problems
connecting with the server.
It has been discovered that the new
computers used in the library and Reading
Room, the Dell Optiplex 745 model, came
with firmware that was incompatible with the
Broadcom Ethernet Card (BEC).
Iain Logan, Deputy Director of Computing
Jim Wilson Services, explained that, contrary to the
rumours, the MyPC login program was not the
source of the problem.
He said: “There is a widespread misconcep-
tion that MyPC is the problem, because of the
‘communication lost’ message that it displays.
“Actually the firmware that drove the
Broadcom Ethernet Card in the Optiplex 745
had a fault resulting in the BEC regularly
losing connection with the Ethernet Switch, the
University’s Internet provider.”
Having identified the firmware as the prob-
able source of the fault, I.T. services performed
a Basic Input Output System (BIOS) upgrade.
However, Peter Mitchell, I.T. Service’s Netware
Manager, was hesitant to declare the problem
completely solved.
He said: “These fixes rarely provide a
universal panacea, but we are optimistic about
the BIOS upgrade and will be watching the
machines to see what happens.”
A Guardian survey conducted after the
BIOS upgrade did show encouraging signs of
improvement, with malfunctions appearing on
only 14% of the library’s computers and 17%
of the computers in the Reading Room.
Bugs often appear in university machines
because of the way they are used and because
of the constantly evolving nature of program-
ming, explained Mitchell.
He said: “It doesn’t help that the machines
are used aggressively for long periods of time.
Software is constantly being updated and, when
two bits of software are incompatible, problems
arise.”
A Glasgow University procurement exer-
cise will review Dell’s contract next year.
Glasgow subway price hike
6 NEWS guardiannews@src.gla.ac.uk 3rd December 2008

Craig MacLellan
THE PRICE OF TRAVEL ON THE
Glasgow Subway is set to increase
for the second time in under a year.
Strathclyde Partnership for
Transport (SPT), which operates the
Subway system, has been hit by the
escalating cost of energy.
An increase of 94% in the price
of traction energy, which is used to
run the underground trains, leaves the
company facing a rise in electricity
costs of £800,000.
There will be increases on all
fares, with single adult and return
fares both rising 9% to £1.20 and
£2.40 respectively. Discovery tickets,
will see a larger 40% increase from
£2.50 to £3.50.
The rise in the cost of a Discovery
Ticket now makes travelling on
the Subway more expensive than
travelling by bus, with the equivalent
FirstDay ticket costing £3.20.
Current increases follow on from
a rise in fares introduced last April.
The rises were in line with infla-
tion and followed a three-year-long
price freeze.
A survey conducted by the
University of Glasgow, in 2007, found
that 42% of students use public trans-
port to travel to and from campus.
For those who used other methods,
the cost of public transport was cited
as a reason for doing so.
Alistair Wilson, Chairman of
SPT, said that, whilst he appreci-
ates the difficult economic climate,
SPT had little choice but to increase
ticket prices.
He said: “We know everyone is
strapped for cash at the moment and
this was a difficult decision for us
as a result.
“Faced with an increased fuel
bill of almost £800,000 and other
escalating operating costs, we have
no option open to us other than
increasing fares.”
President of the SRC, Gavin
Lee, regards the price rises as
unacceptable, especially given the
fact that many people are currently
trying to reduce spending as much
as possible.
He told Guardian: “SPT’s price
gard for students and those on low
incomes: those most likely to use
their services.
“These are essential services for
students travelling to and from the
university; and to be penalising them
with a 40% increase is insulting.”
He explained that the SRC are in
contact with politicians and the SPT
to protect student interests.
He said: “The SRC are in commu-
nication with the SPT and MSPs
from across the political parties to
ensure that financial pressures on
students are eased.”
SPT maintains that a ticket on the
subway is still one of the lowest in
Europe, with further savings possible
through the purchase of a multi-
journey ticket.
A spokesperson said: “Students
can save 25p per journey if they
buy the adult 20 journey tickets at
£19. This ticket makes the cost per
journey 95p rather than £1.20 for the
adult single ticket.”
The final decision on the fare
increases will be made at the next

SRC condemns escort adverts

Jim Wilson rises have shown a total disre- SPT meeting.

(continued from front page) Kingston University, London, reported a 50%

job which requires 'no experience' but which
pays highly will have a hidden cost. That
hidden cost to the women is that sexual services
are expected.
“Whilst advertisements for agencies offer a
woman’s ‘company’ and ‘time’ for a fixed
price, reading further the sexual acts are also
clearly stated. “If an agency is accused of
promoting prostitution the managers or owners
will put the responsibility onto the women
themselves.”
In a survey of 100 female students taken
outside the library, Guardian discovered that,
at the prospect of earning £2000 a week, 13%
would consider a career in escorting.
Thompson voiced concern at this survey’s
result, blaming an “increasingly sexualised
society” for the growing public acceptance of
the sex industry in general.
She told Guardian: “Whilst it is worrying
that so many female students would consider
escorting, it is not surprising that they are
tempted by offers of earning £2000 a week. In
our increasingly sexualised society, the terms
'escorting', 'lap dancing', 'exotic dancing' and
also 'sex work' are used to normalise, and in
some cases glamorise, what is in fact prostitu-
tion. The reality is that young women are put
under pressure to conform to this norm, or risk
being labelled prudes or having no sense of
humour about ‘harmless fun’.”
This trend is supported by research at
Westminster University, London, which
concluded that 3-4% of students were employed
in the sex industry. Following this, research at
increase in the number of students working in
the sex trade between 2000 and 2006.
The website for Ben’s escort agency, which
advertises for five escorts in Glasgow who are
students, carries a legal disclaimer stating that
the company does not advertise prostitution.
It says: “Any money paid to [the escort] is
for time and companionship ONLY. Anything
else that occurs is a matter of choice between
consenting adults.”
“99% of the time this work in-
volves sex. The money is phenom-
enal and you're not going to get it
for just dinner.”
However Ben was more explicit about the
services on offer when speaking to Guardian’s
reporter.
He explained: “The rates are about £300
for an hour or two. People will promise you
this and promise you that but the bottom line
is that you’ve got to realise that the money is
phenomenal and you’re not going to get it for
just having dinner with someone. 99% of the
time this work involves sex… there’s nobody
out there that will pay that without sex.”
Lee urged students not to take up a career
in escorting lightly, saying: “We’d urge any
student considering working in the escort
industry to speak to the University or Advice
Centre about financial help that they can get.
Putting yourself in a position that can be both
mentally and physically damaging does not
have to be an option.”
The Latin spirit in everyone
3rd December 2008
After years of political alienation, Venezuelan freedom fighters show Crystal Chesters how to fight for the right to party.
T
hey could have been filming the new Bacardi advert
the other night in Blackfriars. There was Latin spirit
bursting from all corners thanks to twelve-piece
revolutionary salsa band, La Redonda. “Venezuela!
Venezuela!” they chanted as the sweaty crowd clapped and
attempted to salsa. Unfortunately I didn’t take the initiative to
get on the bar and start pouring shots down the necks of innocent
boys. I did however manage to catch up with the band before the
show to find out what the ruckus was about.
It’s something to do with Venezuelan President, Hugo
Chavez according to La Redonda. His outrageous political
performances, in particular his comments on the stench of
sulphur that emanates from George Bush, have both morti-
fied and impressed young Venezuelans. He almost assumes
the role of an embarrassing parent. In that vein he has become
famous for being able to relate to the needs of his poorest
people, whether in terms of education, artistic encouragement
or job creation. As enthusiastic participants of the revolution, La
Redonda were keen to find out about movement towards social
change in Scotland.
It was for this reason that I came to be sat patiently with
earnest members of Scottish Socialist Youth as the band members
barged in late in bright stripy hats brimming with Caribbean
charm. I immediately felt pale and boring. They enthusiastically
shook hands with everyone and we made our way to the sofas.
Carlos Martinez and Alex Acosta stole the limelight while the
Scottish contingent sat back and watched the show.
“As enthusiastic participants of the revo-
lution, La Redonda were keen to find
out about movement towards social
change in Scotland.”
Alex unselfconsciously launched into fluid conversation
in loud broken English, “La Redonda, our band, was formed
around the time that Hugo Chavez came in to power in 1998.”
“We are more an artistic collective than anything else,”
Carlos cut in smiling, with a thick Spanish accent, “We do street
art, circus performances, and music.” Alex took over again,
“Chavez is our first Leader to care about artists. He provides us
with institutions and gives us funding, and TV channels where
we can express ourselves!” He flaps his hands around colour-
fully while elaborating, “There is a huge art movement now —
it has blown up!” he chuckles and looks over to the translator
guardianfeats@src.gla.ac.uk
sitting with us, for approval; “exploded,” she corrects him.
“Our education system has changed so much, and the art has
blown up!” he continues, “We now have the strongest education
system in South America besides Cuba. We are taking inspira-
tion from every good socialist movement in the world,” he
grabs the air energetically, “and combining it to make our own
system. Venezuelans have finally realised that they aren’t all
about oil, baseball and bitches!” he grins. I assume he means
women; somehow it’s endearing not offensive. Carlos, who has
been sitting back, stroking his goatee and smirking leans in,
“Yeah, Chavez has made us open our eyes! Before, we just sat
around in a dream watching TV because we had no education.
We grew up without being able to identify with our president
Carlos Andres Perez”
They went on to explain in excited unison that the band was
formed as a protest to the economic stagnation and political
frustration experienced throughout eighties and nineties in
Venezuela while their translator struggled to keep up, “Now we
are with the government and we are benefiting from its riches.”
Alex concludes heartily.
A member of Scottish Socialist Youth steals a quick moment
to throw in a question, “So do you think Venezuela has got rid
of corruption?” “No!” Alex zestfully starts, “Corruption is a
sickness! Everyone wants to be rich and white! American TV
sells us the dream. The only time it’s good to be Latin is in the
club!”
The conversation was a whirling skipping rope and I took
my chance to jump in with my question; “Obama! Will he
change relations between the U.S and Venezuela?” Alex looks
me in the eye, “Maybe, but it’s always impossible to tell how
a leader is going to turn out. The most important thing is that
he is black and that symbolises an international change. He
shows that there is hope for everyone.” Carlos adds, “I think
many people have good intentions but it will take a long time to
change such a corrupt country.”
Alex continues, “Yeah I mean behind Obama there is Mac
and IBM and the motherfuckin’ banks. But he is the symbol of
a change among the people. In New York, what’s cool is being
hip-hop but now there’s Obama, more people are developing a
critical conscience because they can see things changing on a
large scale.”
Kike, who has been smiling sleepily in his bright orange
beret throughout the meeting, awakens and begins rambling
in Spanish at perturbed James Nesbitt from Scottish Socialist
FEATURES 7
Youth. It quickly becomes apparent that no one speaks Spanish
so Kike turns to the translator who asks the Socialists what
they are doing to achieve autonomy. Finally allowed in to the
conversation, James answers, “We are in favour of Scotland
becoming a separate state from England. Britain is a huge world
power and we don’t want nuclear weapons being stored twenty
miles away from here; a third of the soldiers in Iraq are Scottish
despite the fact that only one tenth of the UK population is made
up of Scots. We don’t want to be part of the British Empire
fighting abroad. We can’t have control over our oil either and
it’s inspiring to see your example of how things can change for
the better.”
Alex looks touched and replies, “We arrived five hours ago
and there is this different energy in Scotland to that in England.
People here look you in the eye and they talk to you. The U.S.
“You are part of a revolution, and it's
real, and it's happening right now”
are the motherfuckers with everything and it’s the same for
Scottish people in the UK.” Everyone chuckles slightly embar-
rassed and Kike moves on to ask what Scottish Socialists are
heading towards. James replies, “Well there is going to be a
referendum in two years but at the moment with the economic
crisis, no one is really very certain and national momentum is
slightly against independence.”
Kike continues, “It’s good for us to know what’s going on
here so we can take it back to Venezuela with us. We are going
to show this meeting on Avila TV to demonstrate to the people
what we are doing abroad to support our revolution.” The camera
man gives us a twirl in his Avila t-shirt. They all grin and point.
“We are having a concert on Thursday night and we hope you
all can come,” Kike continues. The Scottish Socialists nod and
say they’ll be there. James thanks the band and comments, “The
passion and richness of your discussion was really inspiring and
it’s great to see that you are part of a revolution, and it’s real, and
it’s happening right now.”
The meeting comes to a close after two hours with a round
of applause. The Venezuelans get us to repeat altogether, “Patria,
Socialismo o Muerte.” We all shout it grinning. I had never
considered myself a socialist but their enthusiasm and nerve
was infectious. It was only on my way home that I realised what
I had been chanting actually meant; “Patriotism, socialism or
Death.”
8 FEATURES guardianfeats@src.gla.ac.uk 3rd Decem

Repression and resistance: Eg

Influencial Egyptian journalist and activist Hossam el Hamalawy speaks to Pete Ramand ab

E
gypt is witnessing an uprising of a proportion not seen for many years. ship,” says Hossam. “State repression is very high.” He describes the level of Hamalawy describes the major turning p
Strikes and mass demonstrations are shaking the very roots of Egyptian violence being met out to anyone who dares to stand up to the government: refused to oppose the ‘War on Terror’: “
society and have the highly repressive dictatorship of Hosni Mubarak “In 1992 the Islamic insurgents had launched their campaign against Hosni regime is the second largest recipient of
in total disarray. Mubarak, and the response of the government was a severe crackdown. Not just with the outbreak of the Iraq war, we saw
“We are in the midst of the biggest and the strongest strike wave that against the Islamists, but against everyone else as well. I remember growing up 50,000 people clashed with the police
the country has witnessed since the end of the Second World War,” explains “They were confronting Mubaraks police, his tanks and People were ripping down and burning
campaigning journalist Hossam el Hamalawy. As I sit down with him on the his soldiers using rocks. This is an uneven battle, but the From 2004 onwards, activists start
Glasgow leg of his UK lecture tour, he tries to convey the depth of the situa- directly, in the form of an umbrella
tion in his home country. “I’ll start by reading you out a couple of quotes that
people will prevail.” ‘enough’ in Arabic. This started with m
I have overheard recently,” he says. “I think that will give you an insight into in Cairo and there were police checkpoints all over the city. People were disap- pendence. “We had two reformist judg
how far along things are: ‘The problem of this country is capitalism… We are pearing. Twenty-two new prisons were built. People were joking that Mubarak on bogus charges, in very similar even
being ruled by a bunch of thieves, they are the worst thieves since the time of had come up with a very creative way of solving the housing crisis in Egypt, by recently,” says Hossam. “Thousands to
the pharaohs… There is no middle ground; you either stand with the robbers or housing the entire populations in prisons. Those being held without trial reached the judges, burning images of Mubarak,
those who are robbed… The road of reform has been blocked, we are left with 5000 according to human rights sources.” someone who saw the 1990s, this was l
no alternative but revolt’.” Hossam recalls his time as a student, explaining that university campuses “But things were to take a completel
“These are not quotes from meetings of socialists or radical leftists,” are the only place activists are safe as the police are not allowed to enter: “If the 7th of December 2006, 3000 female
Hossam explains, “These are things I heard in meetings of Egyptian property you opposed the government the moment you stepped outside your university, Nile Delta town of Mahalla. This is ho
tax collectors, would you believe?” you would be kidnapped, you would be beaten up, you would be taken to the Middle East, housing some 27,000 peop
Hossam explains that the tax collectors went on strike for a period of three torture chambers.” on strike and started marching in the f
months, in which time tax-collection in Egypt dropped by 90%. “The strike He describes the recent case of a bus driver found agitating against Mubarak. months’ bonuses that the government ha
culminated in an eleven day occupation of downtown Cairo and they ended up When the police caught him, he was taken to the police station and gang raped workers then stormed the areas of the fa
winning a staggering 325% pay increase,” he says. by security officers. “The police filmed the whole thing and then went back working, chanting and demanding the m
This level of unrest currently appears to be the norm in Egypt, although this to his bus garage and circulated the video amongst his fellow workers, as a “The men laid down there tools and
has certainly not always been the case. warning. This sort of thing happens all the time at the moment.” reports Hamalawy. “They occupied thei
“This kind of movement is happening under a classic third world dictator- Despite this brutal repression, the Egyptian people are fighting back. El intimidation, and they won. But from tha
mber 2008
gypt on the brink of revolution
bout the growing wave of strikes against the US-backed dictatorship of Hosni Mubarack
point as coming in 2003, when Mubarak
“At the end of the day, Hosni Mubarak’s
US foreign military aid after Israel. And
w the biggest rioting since 1977. Around
e. The government totally lost control.
posters of Mubarak.”
ted mobilising and taking on Mubarak
organisation called ‘Kifaya’, meaning
mass protests in support of judicial inde-
ges who were going to get prosecuted
nts to those that happened in Pakistan
ook to the streets chanting in support of
, and calling for his overthrow. For me,
like something from a different planet.”
ly different turn,” explains Hossam. “On
e garment workers went on strike in the
ome to the biggest textile factory in the
ple working together. The women went
factory compound, demanding the two
ad promised them earlier.” These female
actory where their male colleagues were
men came out on strike as well.
d the entire textile mill went on strike,”
ir factory for three days despite security
at moment, they triggered what has been
guardianfeats@src.gla.ac.uk
called the labour winter of discontent. Virtually all the textile mills in the Nile
delta went on strike, demanding the same gains as those in Mahalla. But the
industrial militancy did not stop there — it started spilling over into virtually all
other sectors of the work force. So the following month, the train drivers went
on strike and they slept on the rails, stopping the trains. Then cement workers
went on strike and they won as well.”
Hossam explains that the mass media in Egypt, which is largely controlled
by Mubarak, has dubbed the strike wave a “plague that is infecting the whole
country.” And they, along with Mubaraks regime, became particularly worried
when the strikes started spreading beyond industrial workers, into middle class
professions. “Doctors were scheduled to go on their first national strike since
1951,” says Hossam. “The university professors went on their first mass strike
since 1977, students on the campuses started mobilising. Social struggle went
through an unprecedented upturn that we have not witnessed since the end of
the Second World War.”
“Although this was initially a struggle over bread and butter issues, the
workers soon started broadening their demands to encompass political issues,”
explains el Hamalawy. “The most advanced sections in the factories started
putting forward political demands like ‘we want to impeach the state backed
unions and we want free unions’ — this is a political demand which is actu-
ally at the heart of the political transformation process. Also, if you look at the
strikes, the workers are chanting against the IMF, saying that they will not be
ruled by colonialism. You can see women workers wearing veils and carrying
banners that say down with the government. So as you can see their political
consciousness is very strong.”
FEATURES 9
In one of the most recent confrontations, Mahalla workers were set to go on
strike but this was stopped by the government who occupied the factory with
riot police and state security agents (the equivilent of MI5): “They detained
the strike leaders in the factory, however everybody in town was going around
saying ‘Is the strike going to happen?’ It came to 3:30pm, which is the time that
the first shift should have left, but no strike happened. The heightened tensions
caused the whole town to erupt, and that’s when there was a two-day intifada.”
(Arabic for ‘uprising’). “The government completely lost control. People were
clashing with riot police in the streets. The government was very heavy handed
— they shot using live ammunition, rubber bullets and tear gas and they killed
three people, including a fifteen year old boy.”
The soaring prices of food and the shortage of bread have also led to great
suffering and violence. “In Egypt the word for bread is the Arabic word for
‘living’ because that constitutes a major component of the food basket of every
Egyptian family,” Hossam explains. “But bread is disappearing as well as other
basic commodities that Egyptian families live on. We’ve had huge bread queues
all over Egypt since February, and sixteen people have been killed up to now in
these bread lines. People are basically fighting each other to get the basics that
they need to survive, these are like scenes from the French Revolution.”
At the same time el Hamalawy remains positive about the future: “There is
hope; Mahalla has shown us that. After the Mahalla uprising communities of
fishermen also erupted in protest. The people were chanting ‘revolution until
victory’ and that slogan is being taken up by ordinary women and men across
the country. They were confronting Mubarak’s police, his tanks and his soldiers
using rocks. This is an uneven battle, but the people will prevail.”
Photos courtesy of Hossam el Hamalawy and Nasser Nouri
10 FEATURES
Merry Xmas Everybody
W
As Christmas Shopping rears its ugly head, Tara Hepburn tells us why the modern Christmas is still beautiful
hilst working last Christmas I was subjected
to a tirade by a woman who saw the increasing
popularity of the spelling “Xmas” in place of
“Christmas”, as responsible for near enough
everything that was wrong with modern festive celebrations.
It is, as she so helpfully pointed out, Jesus’ birthday after all,
so he probably should get a name-check in the title. Annoying
as this woman was, I never liked Xmas much either. Not
from a religious perspective, mainly because it encourages
people to pronounce it “Ecks-mas”, which sounds ridiculous
and stupid. And whilst this season does seem to conspire to
make the ridiculous a little more sublime, stupidity remains
as annoying as ever. There is, however, something finicky
and indulgent about Xmas being the worst of your worries
at Christmas-time. Whilst modern Christmases are perhaps
commercialised and unreligious, there’s little evidence to
suggest that the whole celebration was even Jesus’ gig in the
first place.
The pagans knew how to throw a Christmas shindig thou-
sands of years before Mary had even met Joseph. Apart from
gathering en masse - as opposed to in Mass - there are very
few differences between the way the pagan’s rocked their
winter festivities and the way that Christmas exists in modern
form. Similarly, a number of winter’s other big festivals, such
as Hanukkah, Thanksgiving, Yule and the Winter Solstice
show a familiar fandom for gift-giving, lights, decorations,
and generally staying ensconced in your warm home with
your family, eating well and drinking better.
There’s no real genius required to figure out why such a
wide-reaching habit might begin to form. Without the terribly
exciting promise of Christmas, we might all come to realise
that winter’s actually pretty rubbish. It’s cold, and dark, and
the trees look skeletal and creepy, and we have to bundle up
in clothes that are both not-enough for outdoor climes, and
far-too-much for the tropical climes enforced by shops. It’s
guardianfeats@src.gla.ac.uk
a sick enough joke when snow falls in January or February,
with little respect for the arbitrary dates assigned for merry-
making, but a sparse Scottish winter without anticipation of
Christmas whatsoever would be utterly unthinkable.
There does seem something sad, however, about shirking
all the holy connotations whatsoever. Unless you actively
bat for some other God’s team (which I haven’t the faith
or favouritism to do — I love them all equally), the reli-
gious agenda certainly adds a bit of gravitas to things. The
“There's little evidence to suggest that the
whole celebration was even Jesus‘ gig in the
first place”
nativity story is — overlooking all its Inaccurate Conception
worries — a poignant and important narrative which seems
universally and eternally relevant. In a Jeremy Kyle climate,
it’s easy to believe that children are more ill-gotten than
begotten, surplus weapons in the petty wars of the stupid. It
helps that this one’s a messiah, of course, but there’s some-
thing refreshing and really rather beautiful about celebrating
birth in general.
Secular grumblings aside, the Nativity story succeeds in
embroiling all sorts of magnificent sentiments: of hope, and
love, and harmony, and interdependence. It isn’t particularly
important to the splendour of the story that this manger-
cosy lad grows up to be Jesus Christ, to assume so seems to
somehow miss a significant part of the whole tale. It remains
a wonderful account of the meaning of the future, and chil-
dren, and how important it is to love them, and help them,
and provide for them, and let them be brilliant. He could end
up working in Sainsbury’s for all that it matters, but with his
love-heavy beginnings he’ll probably be the kindest, most
helpful, charming trolley boy you’ve ever met. Though, it
3rd December 2008
Courtesy of Vegetarian Society
might be easier to fathom miracles of the biblical variety.
And, contrary to popular belief, the worst thing about
Christmas is not that it highlights a godforsaken culture,
where you get elbowed unapologetically when out shopping,
rather; it’s tragic in being so shamelessly widespread and
steeped in memories. This Christmas, as every other, will be
a terrible, painful burden to people who’ve lost someone, for
whom the whole shebang will be a cruel reminder of a life
that seems almost gone to them now. If the hope and faith
of the Nativity, or the Church, can provide some solace in a
horribly poignant time, then it would take a monster to deem
it all irrelevant.
And whilst it is a pity if people can’t see these wider
merits of the Nativity Story, it hardly represents much of a
departure from the values it puts forth. Festive favourite “It’s
a Wonderful Life” succeeds in tapping into all such Christmas
rudiments with moving acuteness – providing a cars-instead-
of-camels version of the Nativity story for the modern world.
Perhaps Church turnout is poor, but with heathen souls all
over the country tuning into George Baillie’s tale of hardship
and triumph, I wouldn’t write them off just yet. It seems that
people very much do care about the kind of suffering that this
time might inflict and — more importantly — about the idea
that unity and hope always exist amongst the darkness.
However commercial the whole circus has become,
people really do spend time with their families and think
about others at Christmas-time. Retailers, obviously, benefit
from the whole caper, but charities too raise a far larger
percentage of their annual donations at this time of year
than any season. Even if merely the remnants of Christian
traditions remain, the heart of their intentions beats strong. It
shouldn’t really matter if people do good things because it’s
God’s kid’s birthday or not.
They’re being good for goodness’ sake. Which is perhaps
more valuable anyway.
3rd December 2008
Would this paper re-elect Labour?
Autodidakt
>>James Foley
L W
abour Party elections played a formative political role
for me. One of my earliest memories, aged seven,
involves chasing a Conservative Party election wagon
down the street screaming, “What about the miners!” My
next door neighbour — a Neanderthal right-winger, aged
eight — asked how I could support Kinnock, a man who
openly kissed his wife in public. He later joined the Officer
Training Corps. Clearly Tories learn hypocrisy and sexual
repression at the same age socialists learn class hatred.
No matter the circumstances, a Conservative government
is never a positive thing for most people. The Tories recruit
their membership from the traditional ruling class; their real
prejudices are always with the very wealthy, no matter how
“caring” they want to appear.
Just look at how shadow health secretary Andrew Lansley
described the economic crisis: “On many counts, recession
can be good for us. People tend to smoke less, drink less
alcohol, eat less rich food and spend more time at home with
their families.” Never mind that poverty is the biggest killer
in Britain; never mind that if you live in the poorest areas of
Glasgow you will die younger than the average resident of
the Gaza Strip. From a Tory angle, all of our health problems
could be solved if the great unwashed had less money to
blow on fags, booze, and crisps and more time to be "strong
fathers" to their lice-infested tearaway brats.
Nevertheless, electing a Labour Party to government is
no real boon for your average worker. May 1st 1997 was
a mass revolt against corruption, prejudice, and hypocrisy.
But Labour made the rich even richer: the top one percent,
about 600,000 people increased their share of national
wealth from twenty, to twenty-four percent after seven years
Glasgow University
Vacancy — Head of Advertising
Glasgow University Guardian, Scotland’s top student newspaper, is currently
looking for a Head of Advertising.
If you have aspirations of getting into marketing or PR after university, then
Guardian wants you - the position involves sourcing advertising for each issue of
the paper, which is a vital role at the publication.
To apply, please contact the editors directly:
Tel: 0141 341 6215
Email: guardian@src.gla.ac.uk
guardianfeats@src.gla.ac.uk
of Labour government. The poor got marginal reforms: a
£3.50 minimum wage, for instance, although this made no
real difference — in practice, real wages have been virtually
stagnant.
Electing Labour heightened the expectations of ordinary
people, but they were not rewarded. Blair and Brown sanc-
tioned shady private corporations to pillage the remains of
the public sector. Meanwhile, they embraced every opportu-
nity to test our weapons industry's finest produce on starving
third world civilians.
Most pundits interpret the budget announcement as
Labour's ‘move to the left’. The top tax band, which covers
the top 1 percent of earners, will increase from forty to forty-
five percent. However, remember that it is not long since
Brown scrapped the 10p income tax band for the very poor,
a decision that had enormous ramifications for people strug-
gling to afford gas bills and rising food prices.
It has taken the greatest economic crisis since WWII for
Labour to even consider taxing the rich. Before Thatcher was
elected, the very rich paid eighty-three percent income tax; at
best, we have edged past halfway to restoring the ‘progres-
sive’ conditions of the 1970s.
Given that there is no viable political alternative, I hope
Labour beats the Conservatives at the next election. Labour
receives ninety percent of its funds from the trade union
movement, and a more powerful movement from below
— strikes, demonstrations, and so on — could force them
into concessions that maintain living standards during the
crisis. The Tories make most of their funding deals at yacht
parties, and recruit their membership from Rotary Clubs, the
Women's Institute, and the Glasgow University Union.
Many reasonable people support Labour, for the same
reason a scrawny seven year old touted at Tory wagons and
supported Neil Kinnock's public sex acts. But this loyalty is
misplaced. Labour's leadership are loyal to the same people
who made millions at the expense of the miners, the dockers,
the print workers, the single mothers, and — yes — even the
students during 18 years of Tory rule.
If you still hate Thatcher, make sure you support the
working class organisations she tried to destroy, and not the
Labour Party she unwittingly created.
Scottish Student Newspaper of the Year
DEBATE 11
Orthodoxy
>>Aidan Cook
riter’s block can take two forms. It can mean
either not knowing what to write at all, or it can
mean having so much to write that you don’t
know where to start. In this case it is the latter. We could look
at the Labour government’s attacks on civil liberties, their
economic mismanagement (note the mis-: it’s not that they
didn’t do anything, it’s that they didn’t do anything well),
their poor handling of defence, or their failures in education.
Not to mention their misdirected foreign policy, nor indeed
their treatment of parliament and the democratic process.
Instead, however, we shall look at something much deeper
than all of that, the root cause of many of their problems: how
they have dehumanised the system. Or rather, systemised the
human, if you will. No longer can a teacher simply do what
a child needs — forms must be filled, boxes must be ticked,
targets must be met. Arbitrary, statistical targets that tell a
lifeless, dehumanised story. Labour don’t just want every
child to get a good education; they want eighty-five percent
to make the grade at 11, fifty percent to get a degree. This
is no longer education but a production line, with quality
control, expected returns, and expected failures.
Statistics never tell the whole story, nor do they always
tell the true story. While some might contest that they are
the only way that government can tell what is happening,
this in itself demonstrates exactly where Labour have gone
wrong. What we see is that despite their best efforts, the state
cannot do everything. Labour have tried to incorporate the
individual, family, community, and society into the state,
and they have failed. They have removed the human touch,
turning life into an abstract system — a system which has
now failed. In many ways, the Labour government is like
Microsoft Windows: it’s hopelessly insecure, keeps crashing,
and tries to force you to do things you didn’t want to do, but
you still can’t escape from it.
They are the Dementors of politics, swarming down in a
cold chill of reality, and a dense fog of spin. They are every-
where, eating away at our very humanity, leaving Britain an
empty shell, incapable of independent thought. Individuals
are no longer trusted to make their own decisions. The family
is no longer seen as a natural, loving relationship but as a unit
of production. Children have become a consumer item with a
lifetime guarantee from the state (but do read the small print).
A respect for human rights has been focused on to the detri-
ment of the respect for life itself. Labour have codified life
and made it inhuman. Everything is now about form-filling,
box-ticking, and targets. Even if Labour had achieved all
they set out to do, and more, there would still be something
missing: that little je ne sais quoi that makes all the differ-
ence; that great mystery of human life that can neither be
rationalised, nor assessed, nor turned into targets. Call it
well-being, or happiness, or just simply being human, Labour
don’t like it. It cannot be brought about by government inter-
vention but only by giving individuals the freedom to relate
to others, to come together as a community and a society.
Labour have tried to come up with a formula to govern
life and have failed, simply because no government can do
so, and no government should try. So while they carry on
with this mentality, they definitely won’t be getting my vote.
And if they stop, then while they will no longer be Labour,
they might just realise what it is to be human. And they might
finally just let me live.
12 EDITORIAL
Glasgow University
glasgowguardian.co.uk
A different light on a dim view
What is escorting if it is not prostitution? If
99% of escorting work involves sex the differ-
ence is surely a legal technicality. Scotland’s
escort websites are packed with semi-nude
images and graphic descriptions of ‘services’
each escort will perform (if she so chooses).
It is an industry laughing brazenly in the face
of the law. The suggestion that these websites
are not necessarily peddling sex just seems
surreal.
Our survey asked the question: “For £2000
a week, would you consider becoming an
escort?” Respondents were offered a ‘yes’, a
‘no’ and a ‘maybe’ option. While 13 out of a
hundred said ‘yes’, there were also 12 ‘maybe’s.
Although it is not included in the final statistics
the ‘maybe’ serves its purpose in validating
the ‘yes’. Many students who replied ‘maybe’
changed their minds having been shown the
advert in question. Even that sordid scrap of
paper was a step too close to the reality of
escorting. The illusion that all that was required
of an escort was to be taken out to supper by
some man (“Who might even be quite good
looking.”) and beyond that its up to them, was
quickly shattered by the amateurish recruitment
advert. On the other hand, those who said yes
were mostly unfazed by the advert.
Linda Thompson, of the Women's Support
The unknown consequences
Although Guardian sometimes does not have
the resources to cover all the events that we
would wish to report on as a news-led publi-
cation (usually in the case of news that is
geographically difficult to reach), there are
times when the scope of the paper must expand
to encompass moments of worldwide signifi-
cance. With at least 170 dead and hundreds
more injured, the horrific attacks witnessed
last week in Mumbai certainly fall within this
category.
Already being referred to by many as
‘India’s 9/11’, the actions of ten armed men
over three days of bloody violence have brought
a city to its knees, and focused the attention of
the world on India’s financial centre. All the
while, the West has sat spectator, watching a
country react to an act of terror on one of its
greatest cities, the landmarks within it, and the
people unfortunate enough to be caught up in
the bloodshed.
Harrowing images of bloodstained station
concourses, burning buildings, and the inno-
cent dead dominate the press coverage of
Western media outlets, making comparisons
to the attacks on New York seven years ago
simple enough to draw. The biggest concern
when discussing the Mumbai attacks in this
context stems from what will happen next,
which in the case of 9/11, involved the disas-
guardian@src.gla.ac.uk 3rd December 2008
John McIntyre Building
University Avenue
Glasgow G12 8QQ
T: 0141 341 6215
E: guardian@src.gla.ac.uk
www.glasgowguardian.co.uk
Photos by
Project, argued that our “increasingly sexual- GroovyBooth.com
ised society” was to blame for the normalisa-
tion of the sex industry; furthermore, it was
surprising how blasé some students were on the
subject. Perhaps working in the sex industry
is becoming more accepted, but this trend
has many positive aspects: improved working
conditions for those in the trade, especially with
regard to sexual health and personal safety; the
stigma of working in the sex industry will also
be lessened.
Whilst working in the industry seems to
be becoming a viable job option for students
in need of cash, consumers of the sex industry
are more widely stigmatised. ‘Whoring’ is no
longer the rakish pursuit of the young cad, and
hasn’t been for decades.
The stereotypical perception of a man who
pays an escort, even just for their company, is
not kind. Soon the customers of prostitutes will
be criminalised and curb crawling is already an
offence. The shame that is increasingly attached
to resorting to paying for sex goes some way to
counterbalancing the acceptance of sex trade
workers.
This evolution of attitudes shows that we, as
a society, are not just sinking into depravity, but
are developing a greater awareness and under-
standing of both sides of the coin.
trous ‘War on Terror’, which to this day is still
leading to the deaths of many people.
Indian attention has now turned from the
organisation that originally claimed respon-
sibility (whose declaration has subsequently
been dismissed as a hoax) to engaging its
northern neighbour, Pakistan, in accusation Picture of the Week: Glasgow University Guardian celebrates at
and posturing over who is responsible for the the Guardian Student Media Awards in London, where former
massacre. The event has the potential to erupt editor Chris Watt was runner-up in the Best Features category.
into a much more damaging and far-reaching
situation than the violence seen so far; both
countries have a lengthy history of conflict
and both are already discussing what possible Is your advertising reaching students?
military action they may take – most worrying
of all, however, is the fact that both countries
posses nuclear weapons.
Glasgow University Guardian, Scotland’s top student newspaper, is
With the attacks now over, the terror- currently looking for advertisers.
ists dead (or in one case, captured), and their
victims now being treated or laid to rest, the With 4000 newspapers distributed every issue across the Glasgow
attribution of blame is inevitable — but motives University campus, halls, and various bars and coffee shops in the
are unclear, and the backing of the gunmen is
West End, Guardian is a great way of advertising your business to
still the subject of intense speculation. In the
next few days, possibly even before you have thousands of people.
read this, it is likely that a degree of clarity will
emerge in terms of what the political repercus- To discuss rates, our advert design service, or to talk over any
sions of last week’s events in Mumbai will be. queries, please contact the editors directly:
The world will have to wait to see whether
Tel: 0141 341 6215
the atrocities served as a rogue act punctuating
a fragile peace, or the precursor to something Email: guardian@src.gla.ac.uk
far more serious.
3rd December 2008
To the Editors…
Dear Sir or Madam,
I must take issue with James Foley's remarks
in the last issue of Guardian (Debate, p11). I
agree that the BNP represent a fascistic, racist
organisation whose beliefs and aims are deplor-
able, but I cannot accept in good conscience
that society need repress their views.
Democracy is inherently inclusive. It
represents an attempt to bring together the
ideas of everyone in society, not merely those
with views we find acceptable. Stopping them
speaking devalues the very existence of demo-
cratic institutions, as it leads to a talking shop
of those not purged.
Fascism and other revolutionary ideologies
thrive in the underground. In the cold light of
democratic debate they shrivel away — witness
the failure of modern communism and anar-
chism. The BNP’s ideology is similarly intel-
lectually moribund: beyond a generic “hurrah
for whites, blame the darkies” mentality it has
little else to offer. Where they've had success
it's been based on local issues — promising to
fix drains and streetlights as councillors — or
as protest votes.
It's Mr Foley's final sentence that worries
me most. A coalition of those opposed to
racism and Nazism is a worthy goal, but not
“smash[ing] fascists off the street.” Counter-
protests are a fantastic tool when opposing
fascism: they show the sheer extent of opposi-
tion, usually at least four times larger than the
original protest! But violence can only lead to
more violence, and would make the BNP seem
like underdogs, a dangerous idea.
Liberal Democracy is the only system
of government that protects our rights and
freedoms. They come at a cost — we have to
protect the freedoms of others even when we
don't like what they say. To do otherwise is to
surrender our only protection from the totali-
tarian threat.
Yours faithfully,
Ruaraidh Dobson
Vice-President, Liberal Youth Scotland
Dear Sir/Madam,
November is Lung Cancer Awareness Month
— a time when Macmillan Cancer Support and
The Roy Castle Lung Cancer Foundation are
attempting to highlight the importance of early
diagnosis.
Lung cancer is Scotland’s biggest cancer
killer and shockingly a new person is diagnosed
with this disease every 15 minutes. In total, that
equates to more than 38,000 people being told
they have lung cancer each year throughout the
UK. Indeed, last year in Scotland, more than
4000 people died of this horrible disease.
One of the reasons why lung cancer has
one of the lowest survival rates of any cancer
is because all too often it is diagnosed at a late
stage. Some of its symptoms, at first anyway,
may seem innocuous and they can be mistaken
guardian@src.gla.ac.uk LETTERS 13
Glasgow University
11th November 2008 Scottish Student Newspaper of the Year
Suddenly this Autumn Hunger Strikes
Tom Bonnick reviews a Tenessee
Williams classic
Frank Lazarski praises Steve
McQueen's bold new work
Zoe Grams
Falling
Arts Film
Glasgow When Glasgow looks as Dickensian and
welcomes Christmas-card perfect as it does at the
debris in
moment, I think everyone enjoys the pleasure
Dr. Rowan of watching the outside cold of winter from
Williams
Crichton
inside a cosy flat. That is, providing you do
George Binning
actually have a cosy flat.
The consequences of an unheated room
library
STUDENTS AND AFFILIATES
of Glasgow University were given
a rare glimpse into one of the most seem to quickly spread not only to your
respected minds in Britain when
the Archbishop of Canterbury, extremities, but your psyche, often leaving you
cold, snivelling, and feeling a little pathetic.
Dr. Rowan Williams, visited the
campus.
It’s a state that most students experience at
The Archbishop appeared in
conversation with Professor Mona
Louver tumbles from wall mounting Siddiqui, Director of Glasgow’s
Staff insist situation has been resolved
Centre for the Study of Islam,
in front of a packed Bute hall
some time or other, at the hands of potentially
on Wednesday 29th October. Prof.
Siddiqui introduced the Archbishop
callous or ineffective landlords.
George Binning & Ishbel Begg Laura Hill, states that debris had
fallen from the library ceiling in the
and described how the ‘Building
Bridges’ project upon which they
Second year saw me squeezed into as many
CRICHTON CAMPUS' NEWLY
opened £37 million super campus
extreme weather conditions.
She said: “One piece of lining
had been working since 2003 had
brought their paths together. layers of clothing as humanly possible, with a
duvet-turned-jacket preposterously close to
was evacuated, after pieces of wooden was eventually blown so strongly She said: “It is a huge honour
cladding fell from heights of up to 30 that it forced a louver from its posi- for me to welcome Archbishop
the flames of our fire, while my flatmate and
feet, whilst students worked at the tion in the window frame just below Rowan Williams to Glasgow, and
check in desk just yards away. the ceiling of the library, smashing an even greater privilege for me to
onto the floor just in front of the be able to have this public conver-
Crichton University Campus
Students Association (CUCSA)
officially reported health and safety
library check-in desk. We immedi-
ately evacuated the students from the
sation with him on home ground.
“How did this come about?
I lamented on our miserable state, caused by
concerns after wooden cladding
attached to the window fittings were
library as a safety precaution.”
She goes on to say that in the
The simple answer is, at least for
my part, through friendship and
a broken boiler.
blown down on several occasions.
In a letter sent to David Deakins and
following two weeks pieces of the
building continued to fall, whilst
through learning. The seminar
brings together every year a group
There are two options if your boiler breaks.
Ted Cowan, the campus directors,
CUCSA’s Student Welfare Officer,
students were still in the building,
raising serious safety issues.
of international scholars, Muslim
(continued on p3) The first involves becoming so intent on a
Student loses deposit on bogus flat lease
goal or project, like a crazed artist or execu-
tive of an oil-company, that you don’t feel the
A STUDENT AT GLASGOW UNIVERSITY News Staff so would it be fine to take the flat at the same rent. Having completed the transaction, Swan cold. There is, however, a far easier and more
has signed a tenancy agreement to a flat that is time? He told me ‘that’s fine.’ So then I went to promised the student that he could move in
already inhabited, and is now unable to reclaim
his deposit and first month's rent, totalling
arrived in Glasgow. Having found Douglas
Swan, a Glasgow landlord, on Gumtree.com he
the flat on Saturday and I met him, it was very
good so I decided I would stay there. He told
after two days.
Sadaat explained: “So I’m signing the
effective way to ensure comfort in your flat
£850, from the landlord.
Waqar Sadaat, an international student
arranged for a look around his prospective flat.
He told Guardian: “I didn’t have any accom-
me: ‘OK, it’s your flat now.’”
At this stage the Swan produced a Short
tenants agreement, and he told me he has to do
some work for the flat, some decoration. If I
during the festivly frosty season.
who is completing his masters in research in
Electronics and Electrical Engineering, was
modation in Glasgow, I was in London but I
talked to the landlord on the phone.
Assured Tenancy Agreement, complete with
an inventory list, and asked Sadaat to pay a
sign it I can live anywhere else in Glasgow for
two days, and on Monday I can have the flat.”
First of all, know what rights you have as
in desperate need of accommodation when he “I told him that I was coming on Saturday, £425 deposit and £425 for the first months (Continued on page 5)
a tenant, and what responsibilities your land-
Editors: George Binning & Film Editors: Emily McQueen- Columnists: Aidan Cook, James lord has. They are responsible for ensuring
James Porteous Govan & Lewis Porteous Foley, Jamie Ross that the heating and boiler system is safe and
News Editor: Sarah Smith Lifestyle Editors: Michelle Contributors: Lucy Humphreys,
Features Editors: Tara Hepburn Williams & David Kirkpatrick Harry Akehurst, Louise Ogden, in good working order, and as such, must pay
& Pete Ramand Picture Editor: Jim Wilson Claire Strickett, Ben Freeman, for safety checks at least once a year. Your
Sports Editor: Suzi Higton Photographers: Stefan Sealey, Victoria Gemmill, Crystal landlord is also responsible for paying for any
InSight Editor: Tom Bonnick Al Taylor, Colin Gill, Luke Winter Chesters, Amy McGregor, Harry service that may need to be carried out on the
Music Editors: Laura Doherty & Reporters: Ishbel Begg, Craig Tattershall Smith, Dougie system in your flat.
Gerry McKeever MacLellan, Ross Mathers Thoms
It’s often difficult to put a timeline on how
The Glasgow University Guardian is editorially independent of the SRC and University. All
complaints should be adressed to the editors, who can be reached via the above contact details. long it should take for a boiler to be fixed, due
to the fact that it is all judged by ‘reasonable-
Glasgow University Guardian is funded through and supported by the Glasgow University ness’ but as a general rule someone should
Students' Representitive Council. We welcome all comments and criticisms — please feel free have a look at the broken boiler within a few
to contact us with your letters to the editors, a selection of which are published each issue. days of you reporting it. It may take longer
than this to be fixed, but if this is the case
for a host of other illnesses. This coupled with perhaps tellingly, begin to cough up blood. the landlord should offer an alternative heat
our general reluctance to visit the GP means And while smoking remains a major cause source in the interim.
that medical attention is only sought when the of lung cancer, none of us are exempt as this is If your landlord is dragging his/her feet,
disease has progressed significantly. a disease non-smokers can get too. We know then you can take your complaint to the Private
Earlier this month, Scotland manager that early diagnosis really does save lives and Rented Housing Panel, the Government body
George Burley backed our campaign, urging so it’s vital that people take their symptoms that serves to resolve problems between land-
fans to look out for the early signs of this seriously. lords and their tenants.
devastating disease. His written message is You can learn more by visiting www. For more information, visit Shelter’s
appearing in match programmes throughout roycastle.org or www.macmillan.org.uk/lung website which has a host of information on
Scotland and he is encouraging people to seek or by calling The Roy Castle Lung Cancer repairs and bad conditions in private accom-
advice from their GP. Helpline on 0800 358 7200 or the Macmillan modation (www.scotland.shelter.org.uk).
Symptoms can include a long standing Cancerline on 0808 808 2020. Alternatively, drop-in to see one of the Advice
or persistent cough, incessant chest infec- Centre staff who’ll be able to help you with
tions, unexplained breathlessness and a lack of Your faithfully, questions or problems you may have.
energy. Some patients also begin to lose weight Dr Elspeth Atkinson Opening times are on the SRC website,
dramatically, experience shoulder pain and, Director for Scotland and Northern Ireland www.glasgowstudent.net.
The art of the eight limbs
14 SPORT
Harry Tattersall Smith learns to toughen up with boxing's latest phenomenon, Muay Thai
I’ve probably never been more macho. I’m
off fighting. Generally speaking I’m probably
not the most intimidating person. But that’s all
about to change, I’ve spent the day working on
my fighting face which I hope will give me any
psychological edge in battle, stun my opponent,
and thus give me time to heroically flee from
danger.
I guess I always thought fighting and univer-
sity was a bit of a paradox. Our nations future
bashing the living daylights out of each other.
My ignorance, however, is about to be knocked
out of me, literally, as I head off to train with
one of the university’s fastest growing clubs:
Muay Thai.
I’m also coming along to meet one of
the club's stars and captain, Alastair Rankin,
who is fast establishing himself as one of the
country's top up-and-coming fighters. Fresh
from the success of his debut professional bout
against Ewan Irvine, Rankin cuts an imposing
figure. The media skirmishes that seem to
surround modern day boxing bouts had me half
expecting Rankin to be brash and ballsy, with
a love of the ‘Ali-esque’ one liner and an even
greater love of speaking in third person; but he
talks with such genuine enthusiasm and warmth
that I really can’t imagine him in a fight.
His fighting regime involved intense
training that pushed him to a level of fitness he
never thought possible. In order to reach his
ideal weight, Rankin was forced to shed 7 kilos
in a gruelling regime which saw him in the gym
or in the ring for 3 hours a day, 6 days a week
for 5 weeks: “The training was tough but I
Hares and Hounds go the extra mile
Chris Tait
The Hares and Hounds, Glasgow's long distance
running club, recently held their annual five
mile road race, attracting a significant interest
from many local running clubs.
Sponsored by Deloitte, the event saw
competitors embark from Glasgow’s Garscube
Complex before running or jogging the pictur-
esque route and finishing up back at the sports
complex.
Matthew Gillespie, who finished first for
Glasgow and sixth overall, found the task
rather daunting:
“It was quite a difficult race and course
and a big task. I was pushing it all the way,
normally in a five mile race you find the first
half quite easy and then it keeps going on and
on, but it was definitely a challenge.”
The number of participants in the annual
competition saw an increase from last year’s
race, with a fantastic 247 runners taking part.
Rachel Swirthwaite, event organiser and
Hares and Hounds women’s captain told
Guardian after the race: “We were very pleased
with how the race went and all members of the
Glasgow team ran well. She added:
guardiansport@src.gla.ac.uk
absolutely loved it,” he says.
The hours of tough graft certainly paid
off as he triumphed with an unanimous points
victory in his first appearance at the presti-
gious Glasgow Muay Thai extravaganza Where
Eagles Dare competition.
In the same manner ‘waxing on and off’
saw karate explode kicking and screaming
into our consciousness in the 80’s, the Muay
Thai led dominance of Ultimate Fighting
Championship (UFC) – which I’m reliably
informed is the most extreme fighting on the
planet, and Youtube inspection does nothing to
dissuade me from this belief – has led to a surge
in the sports popularity as people look for more
exotic ways to stay in shape.
James Porteous
Jim Wilson
The training is relentless, two hours of
breathless kicking and punching, which at
the end have me staggering around like I’ve
just seen fifteen rounds with Mike Tyson. It’s
exhausting stuff but I guess the maxim ‘no pain
no gain’ is probably at its most profound here.
In the course of the evening I’m left with
two war wounds. A kick to the stomach – alleg-
edly accidental, which leaves me gasping on
the ground, and rather instantaneously dispels
the growing notion that I had been devel-
oping that I was in fact an untapped fighting
machine. That and a cut knuckle, which I hope
to surreptitiously brandish as often as possible
as a means of fooling people into thinking I’m
mysterious and dangerous.
“I think things ran pretty smoothly.
Everyone in the club did a great job helping
out to make sure everything went well on the
day and I don't think we could have asked for
a better turnout”
Christopher MacKay competing for local
club Inverclyde Athletics Club finished first
overall after an impressive run of a time of
24 minutes 24 seconds, almost a minute faster
than the next best runner, Paul Sorrie of The
Shettleston Harriers.
The fastest female competitor in the race,
Fiona Matheson, of Falkirk Victoria Harriers,
finished with an encouraging time of 28 minutes
56 seconds.
Swirthwaite was also keen to praise
Glasgow University’s representatives in the
hotly contested race:
“Collette Fagan stood out for me as having
a great run, coming third and winning the
Sheila Fairweather trophy for the first female
student for Glasgow University.”
The Hares and Hounds have also shown
their international credibility as a club, with
Stephen Gidea recently taking part in the New
York Marathon, completing the race in three
hours and eight minutes.
3rd December 2008
The session ends with a series of ridicu-
lously soul destroying sit ups. Of course I’m
wedged in between two Adonises, and as they
nonchalantly make a mockery of the fitness
regime, I’m left looking like an up-ended
turtle, kicking, flapping and generally looking
pathetic whilst I curse my body's refusal to
co-operate.
I speak to Alastair which proves to be
quite depressing really as while I fight with
my growing sense of nausea, I can’t spy even
the faintest sign of perspiration on him. As he
enthusiastically chats about the growing invest-
ment and influence of Muay Thai in Scotland,
I’m bent double with aching muscles which
have seen eighteen years of neglect.
Alastair talks of the clubs exponential
growth since its formation eight years ago, and
finally after years of organisational chaos how
the club is really starting to move forward:
“We’ve finally got ourselves sorted with GUSA
funding, which will allow us to get loads of
new pads and gloves.”
He also makes clear how important this
funding will be for the club: “You saw today
how much of our current gear is in tatters.” He
isn’t lying. As I spar away, I’m rather conscious
that every time I throw a punch, my partner is
gradually being enveloped in mask of whitish
foam which he seems far too polite to wipe
away.
Rankin speaks jovially and with the
resources and enthusiasm I’ve seen tonight, I
certainly wouldn’t argue with him. And if you
want to? He’ll totally kick your ass.
Success for
badminton duo
Suzi Higton
The Stevenson building, in conjunction with
SRS (Sports and Recreation Service), recently
staged its annual badminton doubles tour-
nament. The event, which attracted a large
turnout, saw last year’s runner-up duo Steven
Drennan and Graeme Smith outplay reigning
champions Danny Tollick and Darren Black in
a tense final, to eventually winning 30-18.
After the match, Drennan was pleased with
the margin which he and Smith had secured
victory:
“We thought it was going to be a lot closer
than it was in the end. After playing Tollick and
Black in the first round and winning narrowly.
We were expecting more of a fight but it was
definitely good to get payback for last year and
it was a lot of fun too!”
After the success of this year's competition
which demonstrated a host of the university's
most promising new talent including semi
finalists Andrew Ong and Lisa Chan who
narrowly missed out on the finals, the event is
certain to return next year.
3rd December 2008

Life is but a dream for GUBC

guardiansport@src.gla.ac.uk SPORT 15

Dougie Thoms

November 1st saw the Glasgow University

Boat Club competing in full racing colours
for the first time this season, in the Glasgow
Rowing Club Fours Head.
Held on the River Clyde, conditions were
ideal with flat water and clear skies as Division
One saw a strong performance from the Men's
1st IV of Daniel Graham, Rupert Bloomfield,
Dougie Thoms, Mike Croll and cox Kerra
Templeton. The team brought home victory in
a time of 18.40 seconds, beating their rivals 1st
IV of Edinburgh by a comfortable seven second
margin. GUBC were also declared winners of
the overall University prize for their efforts in
the competition.
GUBC Ladies also enjoyed a successful
day out, especially their second crew who
finished a respectable fourth in Women’s R2.
Division Two also saw a good run from the
men, but the crew were disqualified following
a mid-race collision.
Fifty club members also made the trip to
Inverness a week later for the Inverness Fours
Head, with GUBC producing a strong set of
results despite racing over 4.5 km. The compe-
tition saw the Men’s 1st IV win the Open Fours
event with a commanding 33 second lead over
their nearest rivals.
The crew also produced the fastest time GUBC

of the day and being awarded both the Fours
trophy and unusually, a traditional set of
antlers for the quickest boat. The squad’s other
strong performances, including victory for the
men in the Novice Fours event, demonstrated
the crew’s continuing strength as the season
progresses.
The women’s side of the club also placed
favourably. The novice girls had outstanding
rows despite it being their first major competi-
tion. Women’s novice coach Chris Heaps said
afterwards:
“It was an excellent first performance from
the girls and showed that the squad have lots of
potential for the coming months.”
Men’s captain Dougie Thoms was also
pleased with the crews’ competitive perfor-
mances, telling Guardian:
“It was an overall promising set of results
which definitely provided a solid base to build
on for the important races next spring.”
The results firmly establish GUBC at the
top of the Scottish Universities Winter League.
With a tough winter’s training ahead, the boat
club’s focus now shifts to Eights racing, with a
trip to the Tyne at the end of the month for a
real test against Durham and Newcastle’s top
rowing crews.

Freshers taught a lesson in lacrosse

Harry Tattersall Smith
An inexperienced and depleted men’s lacrosse squad were given
a complete masterclass by a technically superior Stirling. On
a ferociously bitter autumnal afternoon at Garscube, Glasgow
were blown away by Stirling’s vision and creativity in a 12-0
whitewash, in what was very much a baptism of fire for this
young university outfit.
A daunting afternoon was made almost impossible as
the opposition raced into an early 2-0 lead. Intricate passing
exposed Glasgow's defensive frailties, whilst their opposition
radiated an ominous amount of composure in front of goal.
Whilst Stirling were unerringly clinical, the hosts on several
occasions squandered promising positions. The Glasgow outfit
were boasting a squad consisting heavily of freshers who lacked
a distinct cutting edge to their play that the game required.
Struggling to maintain possession and generate any
semblance of pressure, the home squad crumpled against the
aggressive nature of the opposition defence, which saw them
constantly pressed back by their rivals’ relentlessly attacking
sticks.
Whilst the University’s evident lack of fluidity reflected
the number of new faces, Stirling, in stark contrast, displayed
the confidence of team beginning to gel. In defence, they were
anchored by the imposing physicality of Jamie Fleming, whilst
in attack there front line exuded an almost telepathic under-
Colin Gill
standing, as time after time they exploited Glasgow defensive
naivety. Four quick goals in the second quarter put the game to
bed, and as Glasgow surged forward searching for a sense of
parity, they were ruthlessly dismantled by the speed of Stirling’s
counter-attack.
The heated game at times threatened to boil over into a
free-for-all ruckus, yet the officials for the large part maintained
order, or at least as much order as one can expect to maintain,
when faced with the prospect of twenty players chasing and
beating each other with sticks.
It was a refreshing change from mainstream football to see
grown men who after a bit of argy bargy, shook hands and got
on with it, as opposed to treating us to the amateur dramatics we
are becoming accustomed to seeing week in, week out, on the
football fields both domestically and internationally.
Stirling superior numbers allowed them to exploit the rolling
substitutions policy whilst Glasgow whose depleted squad did
not allow for such luxury saw in the second half the game run
away from them. Fresh legs in the opposition certainly paid
dividends and they proceeded to create a whole host of chances
against their lagging rivals.
The score could easily have been doubled but for the goal-
keeping heroics of Marc Nikolai and a resilient rear guard,
fighting to keep their heads held high. The constant barrage of
pressure took eventually took it’s toll on the fatigued hosts and
saw Stirling triumph at the final whistle.
After the game, captain Chris Paton was philosophical in
defeat and reflected on his side’s inexperience:
“The club started four years ago, and now most of the
founding members have moved on. Today most of the lads out
there were Freshers who are new to the game.”
Paton also talked about the increasing disparity in the
Scottish game and its increasing international influence:
“It’s almost impossible for us to keep up with teams such as
St Andrews and Edinburgh. He added: “They have an influx of
Americans who were brought up playing the game where as we
are all novices. Next year we’ll have a lot more experience and
will definitely be up there with the rest of them.”
 sport
Inside: Hares and Hounds host
annual five mile road race
guardian
also: Guardian goes for a taster
session with The Muay Thai Club 3rd December 2008

Bright future for GU athletes

Jim Wilson
Suzi Higton

In preparation for the upcoming outdoors season, Glasgow

University Athletics Club recently played host to numerous
universities from all over Scotland, in a Freshers’ match at
the Kelvin Hall arena.
As one of the semester’s earliest competitions, the event
provided newcomers to the club with a chance to compete
against some of Scotland’s top flight university clubs as well
as a taster of the upcoming Scottish and British champion-
ships later on in the year. The club’s existing members were
also given the opportunity to compare their timings and
distances and had the chance to network with competitors
from across the country.
This year’s men’s captain, Duncan Macrosson, who
was runner up in both the 60m and one of the two 200m
finals, emphasised the importance of the winter match for
the club:
“The freshers’ match prepares us for the season ahead on
a personal level and lets each individual know where they
stand against their other competitors.” He added:
“It also allows us to gain knowledge on areas to train on
and improve. On a team level, it lets everyone get to know
each other better, which is good for the morale and also
allows us to see how quick our relay teams will be against
the other squads in the coming months.”
The overall results were evenly spread between the
universities with Edinburgh, Glasgow and Strathclyde
notably all gaining positive outcomes from the competition.
Cameron Clark, a fresher for Glasgow, made a promising
start for the club in the field events, securing second in the
triple jump and narrowly missing out on the runners up spot
in the long jump to Edinburgh’s Max Stich.

“The freshers’ match prepares

us for the season ahead on a
personal level.”
Siobhan Coleman was the highlight for Glasgow's
women’s team, winning the 3000m event in a time of 10mins
41 seconds. It was Edinburgh, however, who dominated
the main track events of the day for the women with Avril
Jackson comfortably winning both the 60 metres and 200
metre events.
Glasgow’s long distance runners showed encouraging
early season pace; Danny Clark winning the second final of
the 200m and Kevin McCloy winning the 400m event by a
comfortable margin. Matthew Gillespie also secured third in
the 800 metres final, and Daniel Bradford and Thomas Fay
clinched second and third respectively in the 1500m event.
Stirling, who proved to be Glasgow’s most notable
opponents in outdoor competition, still remain the team to
beat this year. Macrosson is confident of an indoor advan-
tage over their rivals, and feels that with a few more compet-
itors in both the male and female squads, Glasgow will be on
Glasgow University Athletics Club compete at the Scottish Universities Indoor Championships, held at Glasgow's Kelvin Hall, in February of this year equal ground going into next year’s BUCS competitions.
 Mr. Scruff | A Softer World | West Side Story | Death Cab For Cutie

Changelina Jolie
Clint Eastwood's new epic
impresses the critics

03/12/08

inSIGHT
Glasgow University
 inSIGHT arts
03/12/08

Performance West Side is the best

WICKED CHRISTMAS 3 Tom Bonnick is impressed by the musical classic at the Theatre Royal

Back for the third time, the Citizens'
Community Company perform their
annual irreverent dig at all things
festive with a look at a variety of
Christmas tales.
Citizen's Theatre
Wed. 10th December - Sat. 13th
December
£10
Spectacular
A new production from Forced
Entertainment, Spectacular, led by
Artistic Director Tim Etchells, is a
unique show that slowly winds the
audience into the world of a missing
performance.
R
evived for its 50th anniversary, and brief-
ly in Glasgow as part of a world tour that
has earned global acclaim, the arrival of
West Side Story — frequently described
with breathless hyperbole of the “best musical
ever” variety — to each new city carries the weight
of ever-increasing, overwhelming expectation.
Few — if any — other dramas could survive
such attention. However, Leonard Bernstein,
Stephen Sondheim and Jerome Robbins have
created a story that is not only hugely ambitious in
its execution, but also robust enough to withstand a
half-century of scrutiny — though of course, a little
credit must go to Mr. Shakespeare for providing the
original material of Romeo and Juliet.
I had always thought of West Side Story as a
fertile source of mockery — all that prancing and
clicking — and little else, and yet on stage it is
truly spectacular; flirting with tongue in cheek but
never camp. This production, by now finely-honed
to a sharp point, features choreography, voices,
set design and music which are all as technically
perfect as one could ever expect.
Under the direction of Joey McKneely, the story
“The story has a renewed sense
of urgency, and adeptly sidesteps
becoming pastiche or parody”
has a renewed sense of urgency, and adeptly side-
steps becoming pastiche or parody of the well-loved
film. The prevailing racism of the Jets gang remains
as shocking as it has ever been, never more than in
the climactic, terrible rape of Anita, and the sudden
explosion of violence after incipient, brewing
tension acts a powerful emotional conceit.
Sofia Escobaras as Maria is particularly efficient;
naïve and seductive by turn, and though, along
with Lana Gordon’s Anita, the female leads tend to
eclipse Ryan Silverman’s portrayal of Tony — which
often comes across as rather dull — the chemistry
between the leads is convincing enough to be
enjoyable.
If nothing else, this production has proven that
the story still contains a vitality and relevance that
puts most modern musicals to shame.

Tramway
Thu. 4th December - Sat. 6th
December
£6 - £10

Theatre
The Tailor of Inverness

Snowballing out of control

Written and performed by Scottish
actor Matthew Zajac , this multi-award
winning one-man show, explores

Zajac's Polish father's experiences
during World War II and subsequent
life in Scotland.
Tron Theatre
Sat. 24th January - Sun. 25th January
£12.50
The Snow Queen
This re-telling of the children's classic
The Snow Queen is brought to life with
visual effects, puppetry, live music and
atmospheric performances, directed
by Al Seed and starring Morag Stark
as the Snow Queen
Arches Theatre
Wed. 3rd December - Sun. 4th
January
£4 - £8
B
eauty is, that old maxim goes, in the eye of the beholder, and with Drawing in part on a rich tradition of physical comedy in the Charlie
the exception of Julianne Moore, whose beauty is wholly objective, Chaplin/ Buster Keaton mode, the show, directed by Slava himself, gracefully
this has always been one cliché I have subscribed to. Bearing that in brings together a whole series of characters, themes and ideas.
mind, it was with feathers a’ ruffled that I attended Slava’s The sheer, brilliant talent of the performers is at once both
Snowshow. “This is the single most beautiful thing I absolutely crucial to the production, whilst also being
have ever seen in a theatre in my life”, screamed artfully understated — the other major element
Simon Callow in the press release. Who are of the evening, grand visual display, chiefly
you, I thought, other than an award winning featuring snow — would fall flat without
actor, writer and director, to tell me what’s the anarchic spirit of Slava and his
beautiful, Callow? fellow clowns, and yet they act in a
Thankfully, my passive-aggressive sort of deference to larger spec-
phases never last long, and this one tacle, bringing an endearing
quickly subsided to gave way to a bout humility to their characters.
of furiously wracking the brain to think The choice of music is at
of things which were, in fact, more times perplexingly incon-
beautiful than what I was witnessing gruous with the action —
on stage. If any comparison could and truly, Carmina Burana
be drawn to Slava’s Snowshow it ought to be banned from
would be with Cirque Du Soleil — use on stage, such is its
a troop to which the eponymous chronic overuse — but
clown once belonged — except that is mere aside. Unless
that this does away with all I ever marry, or live within
the acrobatic nonsense, binocular range of, Julianne
and demonstrates instead Moore, this really could be the
proper clowning at its most beautiful thing I will ever
purest; as a true art form. see on stage. (Tom Bonnick)
 inSIGHT

3
arts

PA G E
Truth and Beauty Bombs
Lucy Humphreys gets sucked into offbeat cartoon series A Softer World, and the lives of its creators

A
Softer World is a three panel comic created by Canadian
duo Emily Horne and Joey Comeau, with a ranging focus;
from the sexual, to the eccentric and the existential. Often
working apart, Horne takes the photographs and Comeau
attaches the captions. The pair display the pieces via A Softer World's
website, which has weekly additions, and have had their work fea-
tured in The Guardian and Rolling Stone.
The comics are only consistent in their refusal to be predictable
— they demand humour from the unnerving, and if they do not raise
a smile they will at least provoke a thought. Anyone could find offence
in their work — and this is precisely what makes it interesting. The
views expressed in the strips are not those of the creators, but those
of their characters, who demand your attention. They encourage you
to recognise the farce of everyday existence; often, they are not funny,
but are always interesting.
So, how did it all start?
E: Joey started making comics using photos copied from maga-
zines in 2002, and when he realised that the possibilities were some-
what limited we decided to use my photos instead. On a week-to-week
basis, the photos usually come first (I make up a few comics at a time
and send them to Joey, he uses them in whatever order he likes).
Do you and Joey ever disagree about the correlation of the
words to the pictures?
E: Joey works out his ideas for the text, and if I happen to be
around he runs them by me before they go online. It's rare that I'd
totally reject an idea, but sometimes it gets edited a bit before it
goes up. He also will try it out on a few friends first; to make sure the
meaning — or meanings — are clear. The photos are rarely perfectly
illustrative of what is going on in the text, but we try to make sure
there is some kind of connection there.
Are there any comics in particular which you think reflect your
own personality?
J: Yes, all of the comics reflect our personalities — even the ones
that seemingly oppose one another. We are deeply conflicted, very
broken people.
Do you think about your audience when you are writing the
comics? Do you ever worry about whether they are politically
correct or not?
J: We don't worry about it, really. We just write what we think is
good, and put that up. If Emily has a concern with it, I'll scrap it or
rework it, but it's never, “Oh, this one might offend part of our demo-
graphic,” because there will always be someone that is offended by
something. No, the veto usually is based on, “This isn't any good.”
That's the important question.
What is the strangest thing someone has ever asked you?
E: Being a Lady on the Internet, it is inevitable that you get some
strange emails. I once had someone ask, seemingly sincerely, for a
blowjob for her “friend”. It would mean the world to him, apparently.
Were you happy with the outcome of the American election?
Who did you want to win?
J: Who do YOU want to win the World Championship of Chess?
What happens when the comics run out?
E: Luckily, there are always more photos to be taken and captions
to be made. We don't have any plans to finish ASW soon, but I guess
we'll have to go get real jobs SOMETIME.
To read more visit www.asofterworld.com. Artworks reproduced
courtesy of Joey Comeau and Emily Horne.

Tears to the eye potency for yourself, just head down to a local be-
ginners’ night and prepare to have your convictions
completely smashed to pieces.
You thought shallow dissection of gender
differences was as edgy as it got? Well, just wait 'til
your hear these mavericks 'riffing on the, admit-
tedly inaccurate, differences between the people
of Glasgow and Edinburgh. It's like men from Edin-
burgh are all like “oh yah,” while Glaswegians talk in
>> Lewis Porteous broad Scottish accents and utter expletives! Don't
Kay has recently succeeded in elevating himself
above other exploitative nostalgia-merchants by
means of purging his latest material of comedy
itself, ingeniously presenting audiences with
carbon copies of things that they recognise, effec-
tively cutting out the problematic middle man.
But that's just one way to stay ahead of the
game. Indeed, more and more comedians are
adopting exciting new methods of crafting material
so that they may no longer feel the need to fret over
says something that a minority group is bound
to find offensive directly to, or within earshot of,
a member of said minority group, silence ensues
and a camera zooms in on the bemused faces of
all present. His varied body of work explores long
held notions of acceptability, while calling to mind
established classics, largely because he is tirelessly
comparing himself to ground-breaking innovators,
under the assumption that people who haven't
seen the latter's work and are only familiar with

T
here is nothing I enjoy more than queu-
ing for longer than advertised, voluntar-
ily entering a poorly ventilated fire-trap
with inadequate seating facilities and
subjecting myself to the lies, tired shock tactics
and thinly-veiled self-publication of a disappoint-
ingly ineloquent stranger who all the while insists
on maintaining the embarrassing ‘illusion’ of spon-
taneity throughout the overlong affair. Yes, it's fair
to say that British stand-up comedy has entered
something of a golden age, and is finally establish-
ing itself in the eyes of the public as the vital, cere-
bral art form we fans have long regarded it as. If you
are yet to experience stand-up's taboo-shattering
write in to the Guardian asking how they come up
with this gold; just go see for yourself before the
well dries up. The more mercurial comedians may
even throw in some crass generalisations about
Aberdeen and Dundee, if you're lucky. These could
range from “they're all like ‘oh it's so c-c-c-c-cold
this far up north’” to “oh, I'm so hungry, I could really
use some marmalade, one of my city's most noto-
rious exports,” respectively. Details that you'd need
a really keen eye to spot, you know?
With our independent comedy clubs fostering a
staggering array of prodigious new talent, Britain's
mainstream comedy elite cannot afford to rest on
their laurels and this is shown in their increasingly
challenging TV work. The astonishingly prolific Peter
what the industry refers to as ‘the joke problem’.
When ‘Sunday Night Project’ sensation Alan Carr
mused, during his recent ‘The Secret Policeman's
Ball’ set, that a bipolar acquaintance didn't even
have a personality to split in the first place, he
brought the house down, proving that misdirected
malice and a sexually unambiguous persona are
ample substitutes for wit, logic and effort, as far as a
crowd of baying idiots is concerned.
Still, purists can rest easy: mainstream comedy
is still capable of pushing boundaries without going
down the path of the aforementioned pair's superb,
conceptual meta-comedy. For those of you unfa-
miliar with the work of the inimitable Ricky Gervais,
the best way it can be summed up is thus: someone
their gleaming reputations will just give him the
benefit of the doubt.
Of course Sweet Lady Success is a cruel mistress
and can be fleeting. It's consequently of great
importance that artists keep abreast of and evolve
with changing socio-political climates. Sure, right
now it looks as though there's a lot of mileage to be
had in exploring attitudes to reality TV, incorrectly
understood mental illness and contrived awkward-
ness, but Kay, Carr and Gervais take note: there's a
new wave of great comics — at a club near you —
who'll purport that they first understood the term
‘credit crunch’ to be the name of breakfast cereal, or
biscuit, or crisps or whatever! They're the future —
adapt or die. A golden age indeed.
 inSIGHT lifeScience of self-realisation
03/12/08
+
Cancerous Capers
>> Jamie Ross
This time last year, I was exactly the same as
many of you reading this. A rosy-cheeked, eight-
een-year-old fresher being gradually corrupted by
all that Glasgow University had to offer. I prowled
the disconcertingly sticky floors of The Hive, too
inebriated to notice that it had already claimed
both of my shoes. I insisted that my friends take a
photo of me emerging from the giant stone vagina
next to the Boyd Orr building on each and every
occasion that I left Cheesy Pop, genuinely believing
that each time was more funny than the last. I stole
traffic cones, road signs and all forms of parapher-
nalia designed specifically for public safety. You
could say that I embodied everything that makes
society look down upon students. That was until
July 31st of this year, when I was diagnosed with
Hodgkin’s Lymphoma - cancer of the lymph nodes.
This might have acted as a convenient distrac-
tion for my parents if I had failed my exams, but I
had actually achieved a set of results that were
described, somewhat dismissively, as ‘satisfactory’
by Websurf. Consequently, I had to ask the univer-
sity if I could postpone my studies for a year, cancel
the lease on my lovely new flat and settle back into
the nest I had flown from less than a year before.
Evidently, I was entirely incapable of handling
the responsibility of living without my parents.
They couldn’t turn their backs on me for a second
without me getting childishly giddy on the power of
having an overdraft, feeding my insatiable hunger
for kebabs until it quite literally nearly killed me. Let
the fable of ‘the fresher who partied so hard that it
gave him cancer’ be a cautionary tale to all.
Facing six months of intensive chemotherapy,
I saw two very different roads open up before me.
One option was to collapse within myself in an
implosion of self-pity, never get out of bed and eat
nothing but Kettle Chips with salty tears running
down my face. The other was to embrace the situa-
tion, to go through the experience with a skip in my
step and to use it as an opportunity to explore my
curiosity for writing - whilst also never getting out
of bed and eating nothing but Kettle Chips. This is
exactly what has happened, and what brings me to
our wonderful student newspaper a slightly fatter
man than I was three months ago.
With this column, you have the opportunity to
track my progress, thoughts and experiences as I
undergo my chemotherapy and whatever other
nonsense I’m subjected to - which so far seems to
consist of spending an inexplicably large amount
of time completely Billy Bollocks in hospital with a
never-ending merry-go-round of old men gawping
at my naked form. As a synopsis, I know the diary
of a teenage cancer patient may not sound like a
ripping good laugh but I do aim to entertain aswell
as inform. Unfortunately, I will most likely fail at
both. Luckily for me, however, you can’t criticise me
because I have cancer and that would make you an
awful, thoughtless monster.
Until next time, take care cancer fans.
George Binning scratches the surface of the Hare Krishna movement.
W
ho are you? Are you your body? Or
your mind? Or are you something
higher? Do you really know who you
are? Does it really matter? Our mate-
rialistic society, with its un-enlightened leadership,
has made it virtually taboo to inquire into our real
higher self.
Written on the back of their leaflet, these are
the sort of questions the Hare Krishnas hope to
answer for you. It turns out, to put it as briefly as
possible, that we don’t know who we are, we are
in fact something higher and that our materialistic
society doesn’t really matter.
Krishna Fest, a relatively low-key sort of festival,
You're a celebrity, get me out of here
David Kirkpatrick gives reality TV a piece of his mind after celebrity status reaches a new low.
E
x-Deputy Assistant Commissioner for Met-
ropolitan Police. No, you haven’t stum-
bled across a job vacancy, these six words
are Brian Paddick’s claim to fame and ITV’s
feeble attempt to provide a jungle full of recognis-
able faces. And joining him are such memorable
figures as Joe Swash, David Van Day and Nicola
was aimed at spreading the ‘Krishna Conscious-
ness’ to few more members of the public. Stop-
ping just short of packing my tent, a chair and
some loo roll into my rucksack I eagerly gravi-
tated towards the promise of self-realisation.
Whatever people say about them, and
people say a lot, I was not assaulted on all sides
by vicious evangelism. I managed to discuss and
question the religion without feeling as though
I was banging my head against a brick wall of
lunacy. I was grateful too that my faux-pas of
wearing a leather jacket was politely not seized
upon, even when discussing diet.
The average day of a Krishna Devotee
McLean. Would you really know if I had invented
one of these names myself? And would you care?
The real question is not how famous each celebrity
would like to think they are but in fact why we need
celebrities at all. Humiliation does not differentiate
between the privileged and the public. The idea
of stealing eggs in a pen full of ostriches is just as
Jim Wilson
(full-time monk) involves getting up at four in the
morning, then meditating, chanting the Krishna
mantra, dancing and playing music until breakfast
at eight thirty. After breakfast its bookselling until
six, then chanting, dancing and meditating until
eight. Everyone is in bed by ten apparently.
The Hare Krishna movement has been known
to draw people away from what they would call
the ‘material world’, but they claim to be blissfully
happy and “nourished’ by their lifestyle. They came
across as a charming, if eccentric, group of spiritual-
ists. I may not be clamoring to join their ranks, but I
remain open minded to the transcendental glories
of Gouranga.
George Binning
entertaining no matter who is foolish enough to
attempt it.
Classic game-shows such as ‘Family Fortunes’,
‘Play Your Cards Right’ and ‘The Generation Game’
never needed celebrities to be popular. And wasn’t
it more fun to watch Julie from Leeds gamble all
her money to eventually lose and go home with
nothing but a ‘Blankety Blank’ cheque-book and
pen? While ‘I’m a Celebrity’ has a fairly entertaining
premise, it is not justifiable to pay each personality
a small fortune when less money could be used as
a cash prize for contestants from the Great British
public to humiliate themselves in the same way.
Not to mention that a parent, schoolteacher or
brick-layers might benefit slightly more from the
£40, 000 that Dani Behr is reputed to have collected
for entering the jungle.
Perhaps the problem of Saturday night televi-
sion is not simply our craving for celebrity but our
cultural insistence on something for nothing. Chil-
dren no longer want to be musicians or actors but
simply famous, the vehicle to that status being no
longer important. It is now the case that a whole
career can be made from selling one's story of
heartbreak or of sickness to the media. Invent your
own fragrance, market your own jeans and when
your career threatens to slump into a quiet lull,
flash your delicates while stepping out of a taxi.
 inSIGHT

5
life

PA G E
Kool, calm and collected
Yo Ho Ho

Michelle Williams takes a look at the subtle side of fine dining in Glasgow.
No no, such shameless self-promotion
offends our sensibilities — we prefer a
good modest, unpretentious sort. We
want unsung acts of charity; we want
unprecedented talent hidden behind
bashful self-deprecation.
The same premise can be applied to
restaurant dining. The most successful
establishments caress us into a
wonderful experience without needing
to point out that we’re having a good
time, or eating spectacular food. Koolba,
located in the Merchant City achieves
KoolBa this understated quality with aplomb.
Serving a fusion of Persian and Indian
cuisine, this family run restaurant puts its
emphasis on sourcing local, high quality
ingredients, prepared with a genuine
devotion to excellence. Brothers Cesar
KoolBa
“Such shameless acts of
The Persian section of the menu
centres around barbeque style cooking,
offering a healthier alternative to much
of the Indian food served in alternative
restaurants. Indian dishes on the menu
are more subtly spiced than equivalent
recipes you might be accustomed to,
but this deliberate step has been taken
in order to give full attention to the
quality of the ingredients in each dish,
rather than overpowering them with
chillies. The delicious platter we tasted,
comprising barbequed chicken, vege-
table curry, chicken chatt and feather
light naans, came with recommenda-
tions from the carefully chosen wine list,
picked to complement lightly spiced
food — a thoughtful touch to round off
a wonderfully understated experience.
KoolBa has kindly offered staff and
>> David Kirkpatrick
Denial is a river in Egypt and I’m in it
up to my neck. For weeks now I’ve been
ignoring adverts for Iceland mini platters
and turning a blind eye to the seasonal
funfair in George Square. However,
walking into town a billboard for Coca
Cola caught my eye and officially started
my crimbo countdown. Twenty years
old and already filled with the cynicism
of Janet Street Porter, there’s something
about Cola’s jovial Santa that forces my
face into a big smile which is just not the
done thing when on your own. How that

N
oone likes a show off. The
fastest route to securing
eternal public hatred is sure-
ly to take the most un-British
of steps, and point your merits out for all
the world to hear. Take the over-inflated
egos of the likes of Johnny Borrell and
Kanye West — declaring yourself as the
greatest songwriter of your generation,
or portraying yourself as Jesus on the
cover of Rolling Stone are hardly con-
ventional routes to making friends. They
can’t both be right about being the best,
and after such shameless crowing, one
is more than inclined to suspect that
neither of them is. We can’t even forgive
such behaviour in those with a back
catalogue genuinely worth shouting
about; Ringo Starr’s brusque rejection of
future fan mail on the grounds of being
too busy is sure to have earned him bags
full of far less desirable correspondence.
self-promotion offend
our sensibilities”
and Fattah are reverently proud of their
endeavour, eager to stress the thought
put into the concise menu; our dishes
arrive with an earnest promise that the
rice is naturally coloured with saffron, as
though the very thought of an artificial
alternative would deeply offend.
students of Glasgow uni 20% off their
food bill upon production of a valid matric
card (December 2008 and February 14th
excluded, valid until 30/06/2008). Also,
if you book your graduation dinner at
KoolBa before 31st July 2009 (quoting
‘Glasgow Graduation Party Offer’), receive
20% off your food bill plus a free glass of
sparkling wine for you and each of your
guests upon arrival.
109-113 Candleriggs, Glasgow.
0141 55 22 777
shiny red convoy of trucks bringing ice
cold beverages to wee punters up way
past their bedtime ever became synony-
mous with the Christmas message is
beyond me. What I do know is that those
zealous coke addicts humming ‘holidays
are coming’ fills me with the same kind
of excitement that hearing newscasters
“We’re losing polar
bears, and yet still can’t
shake Kerry Katona.”

I’m too sexy for my shirt say the word pirates in a serious manner
does. And by serious manner, I mean
Ben Freeman considers the perils of overt sexual imagary in the fashion industry. without saying yar or matey seconds

T
he fashion industry is unarguably one of
the most sexually charged arenas in the
world (trumped only by the steel miners,
of course), but does the use of nudity and
sexual images cheapen fashion advertising? It is
difficult to open a magazine without being con-
fronted with suggestive images, breast and occa-
sionally even (gasp) a penis! Is this liberalisation of
imagery a good thing, or are we being desensitised
to shocking images?
It is important to note that this trend is not a
modern one. The 1970s saw the first sexualisation of
fashion as the mods of the 60s had gone the same
way as the blondes of the 50s. This new age was the
era where sexual beasts dominated the industry in
the shape of Janice Dickinson and Gia Carangi. The
next generation of supers saw voluptuous beauties
such as Claudia Schiffer, Cindy Crawford et al. Who
can forget the shot of Claudia Schiffer nude on the
beach — sexy and glamorous, still oozing an arty
air of class.
Today, nudity in advertising and fashion maga-
zines has progressed, offering a plethora of nude
images from the fashion industry, each seeming
to raise the shock value bar on the last. Tom Ford
is a prime example, using both full frontal female
and male nudes to advertise his wears. Established
brands such as Chanel use nudity to advertise their
jewellery, and the Grand old Dame of fashion Vivi-
later. A concerned party may remind us
enne Westwood sent topless models sashaying that they have guns and that people’s
down the catwalk at this year’s London Fashion lives, including that of two Britons, are
Week. Although Ford’s images are shocking — and at risk. And I would agree that the situ-
to some, obscene — they do still evoke a form ation calls cause for concern. A boat full
of glamour, separating soft porn from art and of experienced seamen, held hostage
summing up the heart of the matter. I don’t really for days now and still no one’s thought
care if I’m looking at nubile bodies engaged in of Parlay. What are the schools teaching
a sexual act or a beautiful suit as long as they are them? Jokes aside, there’s still a part of
glamorous and are photographed well. me that against my better nature takes
However, how does one judge brands using pleasure in the fact that pirates still
sexually explicit images that aren’t particularly exist. I can’t envision the story without
glam? For me. American Apparel (AA) is in the docks picturing a swarm of patches and peg
over this issue. Their campaigns feature young legs swinging aboard, stroking their
girls scantily clad, splayed in compromising posi- beards and swearing that there be
tions. But if Gucci or Tom Ford can get away with treasure in them there waters.
it then why can’t AA? Well, because AA’s images An encounter with old world bandits
aren’t beautiful or glamorous. In fact they are kind later, if you still can’t dare to dream, walk
of seedy. The girls featured — deliberately chosen a mile in John Sergeant’s two left shoes.
for their borderline, age-of-consent appearance — That rotund Romeo has fumbled his way
often look like drug addicts in a dirty bedsit. Their across those buffed floorboards and into
pictures create an air of amateur pornography, a nation’s heart. In a land that’s losing
making adverts that, though apparently devoid of jobs, losing faith, losing polar bears,
tasteful glamour, succeed in generating a power- and yet still can’t shake Kerry Katona,
fully gritty, sexual image for the brand. That atti- it’s nice to know that this Christmas you
tude explains why David Beckham’s Armani shots could still be commandeered by swash-
are amazing; he looks H-O-T and the campaign is buckling buccaneers and clumsy oafs
completely glamorous. And that, my friends, is can dance their way to stardom. A Coca
where the difference lies. The key to credibility is all Cola truck even might, just might, drive
in the context. figleaves.com down your street. If only you believe.
 inSIGHT the interview
03/12/08
Off the cuff w
Gerry McKeever sits down with British DJ Mr. Scruff t
A
ndy Carthy (aka Mr Scruff ) is generally
recognised as one of the foremost expo-
nents of ‘quirk’ in modern music. Since
the release of his first single in the mid-
nineties, he has cemented his own reputation as an
individual artist, both with his successful recording
career and famous DJ sets. Chatting before a Glas-
gow appearance at the Arches on the back of new
album ‘Ninja Tuna’, he confirmed his reputation as
a true music purist and a lovely chap. On topics
varying from tea and fish to the subtleties of DJ
performance, Scruff exuded a genuine charm
and a formidable enthusiasm for his work.
Why do you choose to play such long sets?
(six hours)
I’ve done that pretty much every gig for
the last ten years now. I like warming up,
creating the mood for the evening. I like it
to be quite relaxing, then once you’ve got
people comfortable you can do what you
want after that.
It’s almost like you’re your own warm-up
act.
Definitely. I like playing really mellow
stuff — other people’s idea of a warm —
Luke Winter up is stuff I would play at peak-time. I
think the more mellow and odd the first hour or two are, then the
more weird stuff I can get away with at peak-time too. So you’re
just setting up the mood — every night is different, because every
venue’s different; different crowds. It’s just the way people attract in
that space — it might have a really comfortable bar area which means
people might want to chat for the first hour or two, which is cool, so
I’ll just play it really low. Sometimes people are straight on the dance-
floor — quite often the way people behave when they first come into
the space dictates what I do.
So your set is quite flexible?
Yes extremely, I never plan anything. That’s half the fun really
— I can get properly into it and I haven’t got a clue what’s going to
happen.
You’re obviously a bit of a record geek. What have you found
recently that’s particularly exciting?
A lot of new music actually — there’s a really good record label
called Prime Numbers from Manchester, which has been putting
out some kind of very slow techno stuff. What else? I’ve picked up
hundreds of records in the last couple of weeks, but then I get asked a
question like that… Just a lot of new stuff — Hip-hop, Dubstep, Deep
House…
So what do you think about the state of popular music at the
moment?
I think with music in general, there’s so much of it about nowa-
days, but the amount of good stuff seems to have remained constant
for the last thirty or forty years, it’s just the amount of general-average
and terrible music has increased by a thousand. There’s so much more
stuff you have to wade through. Whereas twenty years ago I would
have been able to listen to and individually appraise every single new
release, now I can probably only get through 5% of it. So much stuff is
getting released which really shouldn’t be, out of people’s bedrooms.
Or the Myspace thing where everyone’s just shoving their music in
your face. It’s like: ‘I’ve had a computer for an hour, here’s my first tune.’
It used to be that you’d wait till you got to a certain standard where
you were confident that your music’s alright, then you let that out into
the public. So I think a bit more editing from music makers would be
good. I mean the whole music industry is kind of in disarray, but that’s
not a bad thing. I’m sure it’ll sort itself out, and the people who’ll sort
it out will be people who’ve grown up with this new way of making
and distributing music.
There’s a track on your new album with Roots Manuva. When we
talked to him about a month ago he was bemoaning the fact that
you two have never got it together to do a whole album. is that
something you’d be interested in?
Well, I’ve thought about it. He’s a guy with a lot of ideas, but he’s
always really busy. He tends to be in the studio full-on for his album,
he’s got nippers and stuff so he’s a busy family man, and then he goes

with Mr. Scruff
to discuss a love of tea, six-hour sets and the state of modern music
on tour and proper hammers it. Then he’s just exhausted and disap-
pears, to reappear maybe a year later to do another album, on that
cycle. So he’s a really difficult guy to pin down, you’ll ring him one day
and you’ll get him, then you won’t speak to him for months. But he’s a
very individual character, so hopefully — but I reckon an album would
take us about 40 years to make. Unless we just said ‘right well, you
come over to Manchester, or I’ll go down to London, or over to Shef-
field or wherever you are and we’ll get stuck in’. But yes, that’s a good
one, so you might be the catalyst for the Scruff–Manuva album.
“So much stuff is getting released which really
shouldn’t be, out of people’s bedrooms. Or
the Myspace thing, where everyone's just
shoving their music in your face”
Tell us about the tea thing.
The tea thing started from obviously being obsessed with tea, but
that’s nothing unusual in this country. I started to sell tea at my resi-
dency about 9 years ago. We had a little teashop in the corner, there
was just a little spare room that wasn’t really suitable for a second
room for another DJ, so I thought we should pipe the music through
from the main room, sell tea and give the money to charity. It was
one of those things where people walked in and thought “Bloody
hell, I can get a brew”, and even if people didn’t want tea, they walked
in and smiled, because it was something they weren’t expecting. It
provided the best drink of the day for people who either were driving
or wanted to take a break from boozing or whatever. Then a few years
later, when we started touring, we wanted to take pretty much the
whole club. So over a few years gradually I started getting renowned
as the guy who sells tea at his gigs. Then we started doing festivals
like the Big Chill, WOMAD [World of Music and Dance] and Glaston-
bury, and doing a tea stall there — I happened to be DJing at those
festivals too, but the tea stall was there for the whole weekend, so it
became something that kind of stood by itself. So it got to a point
where, rather than just being an add-on to the club, it stood up by
itself as well, so we thought: “Why don’t we do our own tea?” We were
selling thousands of cups to people at festivals. So we did a bit, well
a lot, of research over a couple of years, and released a tea brand. It’s
quite odd that it’s happened out of one daft decision to do a teashop
in a dirty little club in Manchester, and seven years later we’re selling
tea in Selfridges.
Apart from tea, the other theme in your career seems to be fish.
Same again, just one daft decision in a studio fifteen years ago — I
sampled a lyric about a whale, and then straight after I finished that
tune it came out as my first EP, and I found loads of other samples
which I wished I’d used in it. I found all these fish samples and I
though “Damn, I wish I’d had these when I was in the studio”, because
I didn’t go in with the intention of making any kind of fish tune. In
those days I used to go into the studio with a bag of like, ten records
and make a tune out of them. After that I thought I’d do another
tune along the same lines and make it a bit more involved. By the
time I’d finished that second tune, I thought “I’ve got a series here”. I
began actively looking for spoken-word records and nursery rhymes
and stuff that had something to do with water, fish, sea, whales, fish-
ermen or anything aquatic. People were sending me stuff as well, you
know - Salmon Fishing the ‘whoever’ way. So you might have five or
six different sources in one sentence, all from different records and
different people. You could get the tones and the cadence of the
speech right so that it worked like a sentence, but also worked well
over the beat so it was in time with the music. So that satisfied the
kind of geeky editing side as well. It was obviously a great laugh to
do, but very painstaking as well.
Throughout the history of recorded music the tools have often
shaped the sound. Is there a particular piece of equipment or
instrument that’s crucial to your sound?
Not really, I’ve kind of moved through different equipment. I’ve
always used quite basic set-ups. I used to use the MPC60, and that
was about twenty years old. There’s no automatic stuff on it, but the
restrictions on that machine definitely helped to shape my style. But
you’re absolutely right, Lee Perry’s records wouldn’t have sounded
like they did if he hadn’t had a posh 24-track. You just want some
equipment that sounds good, and you don’t have to fiddle with too
much, then you work within the parameters that you get given. I think
if you have rooms full of equipment, either you’re never going to get
anything done, or you’re only going to use two or three things.
It’s like bands with twenty guitars on stage.
Yes, it’s a bit unnecessary really, although I’ve got like a thousand
records on stage — but I’ll play at least half.
Do you go out for music events much yourself?
Yes I go out to clubs all the time, and see a lot of bands and stuff.
I think it’s really important to be a punter as well. Otherwise how can
you create an environment where people are going to enjoy them-
selves? Which is why I’m very particular when I go to a club. I like
a good sound-system, I don’t like lights, I like to get a decent beer
or brew at the bar, I like clean toilets, not having to queue for ages,
having room to dance… All these things I make sure happen at my
nights. I don’t like dancing and treading on dropped beer bottles or
having people barge past because there’s no way round the dance-
floor, just things like that. So it’s making sure at my nights to eliminate
things I don’t like from other people’s nights.
Would you say there is a political or social message behind your
music?
Not really, apart from celebrating my enthusiasm about other
people’s music. It’s the other side of the coin from the DJ set, so if
you’re getting people into different kinds of music, you’ve done
something – but that’s not really political.
It almost seems like there’s a ‘feel-good’ ethic?
I suppose it's… What annoys me about a lot of popular music or
inSIGHT
7
PA G E
clubs in general is you’ll get one thing and it generally won’t be very
good quality. The range of influences that popular music especially
draws on seems so limited. There’s so much amazing music all over
the world, which over time has all gone into feeding this huge pot of
music that we all draw from, but still people are only focusing on 1
or 2%, or that latest big thing, a lot of which is Electro and Clash-up
at the moment - a lot of bad versions of New Wave. A lot of that was
great music thirty years ago and it’s being enjoyed by people who
weren’t around the first time, but all the same mistakes seem to be
being made again. You know, Dubstep seems to be repeating a lot of
the bad mistakes of Drum n Bass, it just seems to creep in on itself, or
feed off itself a bit too much.
How have you managed to balance having a diversity of sound
without it being incoherent? Does the mixing of genres not risk
making it difficult for the crowd to get really into the music?
Well, what is a genre, you know? Generally you have a number
of stylistic motifs, maybe a style of production or a style of drums or
instrumentation. So if you trace the family tree back in any kind of
music you’ve immediately got relatives that do actually have a lot
in common. If you take Dubstep, it has a lot in common with basic-
channel Techno, Digidub and a lot of 70’s Steppers. Straight away you
have four different kinds of music. So rather than thinking, “I’m going
to play half an hour of Dubstep”, you’re thinking “Well that bass-line
would work with…” Sometimes it’s easy, for example you think, I like
this Johnny Chimpo release, ‘Children of Israel’, which is a wicked tune,
but it takes a big sample from the Dennis Brown tune of the same
name, so straight away you can get from up to the minute Dubstep to
Roots music from 1978. They’re both the same tempo, they’re in the
same key, and both have really heavy bass.
Are you someone who plays music yourself?
Not really, I make music in the way that I type, with one hand
scratching my head, and the other one with one finger on the
keyboard. I’m not afraid to get stuck in, I can find my way round a
keyboard, and I can chop it up afterwards to make it sound like I know
what I’m doing. I quite like wonky, out of time playing, so quite often
when I get session musicians in, I’ll be bumping into them trying to
make them play wrong notes and stuff. It’s just making sure it’s not
too clean, when music’s not quite there, when there’s something a
little bit wrong about it, sometimes that’s what makes it intriguing. So
yxs luckily I can manage that without too much trouble,
What’s next in terms of your studio work?
Just carry on, I’m not going to stop recording, obviously a bit less
because I’m on tour now, but I’m always in the studio a few days every
month. I did have a studio at home, in the cellar, but it kept flooding,
so I got the stuff out of the house. Half of the studio kit I use on tour
and half of it I just put in the studio that I use. I like working with
people, some of the wiring up and some of the more esoteric, fiddly
bits I’m quite happy for someone else to do so I can just get on with
the fun bits.
Thanks to Mr. Scruff for talking to Guardian.
 inSIGHT music
03/12/08

Gigs
The Futureheads
03/12/08
ABC
Fresh from their appearance in Jim's bar, the
QMU's very own hub of subsidised cider and
black, The 'Heads will shake off any lingering
hangovers with their energetic angular, post-
punk inspired indie.

Pictish Trail
09/12/08
King Tuts
The right hand man of Fence Records takes
time out from overseeeing the folk scene in Fife
to promote new album 'Secret Sounds'. With
Support from HMS Ginafore and Fran?oise this
will prove a gentle respite from the xmas rush.

The Vaselines
12/12/08
ABC
Possibly known best by our generation for their

At Death Cab's door

songs 'Molly's Lips', 'Son of a Gun' and 'Jesus
Don't Want me for a Sunbeam' as covered by
Kurt Cobain, but there's more to their post-rock
mantle than just that. Supported by a band
composed of members of Belle & Sebastian this
Unashamed fan Crystal Chesters flags down Jason McGerr from Death Cab in Edinburgh for a chat

comeback is not to be missed.
Herman Dune
14/12/08
Oran Mor
Wish that you could see them soon? Well aren't
you in luck! Jaunty Swedish alt-folk popstars are
bringing their jingling, utterly smile inducing
dance along classics to the west end. Pack your
50s quiff, some dancing shoes and a shy glance
intended for a stranger.
Idlewild
19/12/08
King Tuts
Playing as part of a five night stay in King Tuts
with a retrospective glance at their back cata-
logue, tonight is a playback of The Remote Part,
featuring such classic Idlewild classics as the
classic 'American English' and the more classic
'You Held the World in your arms Tonight.'
Classic.
We are the Physics
28/12/08
King Tuts
Prepare for the New Year with a devo-tastic
party mash with Glasgow's angular math rock
saviours!
D
eath Cab for Cutie were originally a prep-
py indie band from Seattle, whose me-
lodic, poetic songs about being clever
and confused attracted a large base of
wussy fans. One of them was The O.C’s Seth Cohen,
and once Seth fans got wind of “Death Cab” they
were financially set — but it wasn’t until the band
topped the U.S charts this year with Narrow Stairs
that they could be accused of selling out. However,
given that the band don’t wear skinny ties or sing
songs about going to discos in ball-hugging jeans,
perhaps Death Cab have proven that it is possible
to maintain integrity at the top.
I begin to understand how they manage this
when I encounter Jason McGerr’s goofy smile
as he welcomes me into the interview room. He
takes his phone out of his pocket to switch it off
and for a moment I think he’s going to record the
interview too, “Yeah, I’m gonna sue you and use
this as evidence!” I want to make a hilarious joke
about his susceptibility to money-making schemes
but decide to take the more subtle line of enquiry
and ask him how Narrow Stairs compares to their
previous records. Jason leans forward and looks up
attentively through thick framed glasses, “I think
it’s the best snapshot of what we do live on stage.
Our records tend to be mellow but Narrow Stairs
is pure excitement. Up until now it was always a
surgical process. Plans was a little more groomed.
Narrow Stairs just has wild hairs and torn jeans,” he
smiles fondly at his metaphor. “We recorded on a
tape for this one. You can hit tape lot harder than
with a digital process. There’s just this raw frenzied
feel to Narrow Stairs and the majority of the tracks
are made live.” I ask if Narrow Stairs is a divergence
from typical Death Cab material and whether that
was a contrivance in order to target a more main-
stream audience. “I mean it’s still like a Death Cab
record.” He goes on to describe the recording of
their previous album, Plans, which was completed
in a month in an isolated farmhouse in Massa-
chusetts. “With Narrow Stairs we wanted to take
the pressure off so we recorded in our studios in
Seattle. It was like doing it in our practise space.
With Plans it was more like putting our suits on and
going to work but Narrow Stairs was just a hell of
a lot of fun.” Yet despite the meticulous effort put
into Plans it was the more organic Narrow Stairs
that ended up topping the U.S charts. I ask Jason
what he makes of this: “Yeah!” he laughs uneasily,
“It was nice that we went up against Kanye West
and came in before him. Maybe I’m speaking too
"We have been pretty open about
our support for Obama - it just feels
good to have a focus towards a great
purpose"
humbly about it but the band was going for 10
years without being a hot topic. Still, the fact that
by recording by ourselves we could achieve some-
thing like that is amazing!”
I ask whether the energy compressed into
Narrow Stairs reflects the political excitement of
the last year in the U.S considering Death Cab’s
overt support of Obama, “I guess none of our
songs are about tax payments or anything. But
we have been pretty open about our support for
Obama. Both Chris and Ben played at the Demo-
cratic National Convention in Denver earlier this
year. I guess there are more philanthropic bands
than us but we try and give back to local govern-
ments by contributing to musical programmes,
grants and scholarships. It just feels good to have a
focus towards a great purpose if that doesn’t sound
too redundant.” He looks down at his thumbs and
smiles bashfully.
“We just want to show that we care about
young people in America and the future of our
country.” I ask him if there is any advice for young
Scottish bands who want to catch the attention of
platinum record sellers like Death Cab; “Just tour
your arse off,” he smiles, pleased with himself for his
familiarity with our nation, “Getting a bit of praise
on the internet and selling a bunch of records isn’t
enough. We were really fortunate that we started
touring before the internet became such a deciding
factor. Now it just takes one fantastic or terrible
Pitchfork review to make or break your band. Stick
together. That’s the key. Just stick at it.
Any Death Cab fan on hearing Narrow Stairs,
whether they like it more or less than the band’s
previous work, would probably be convinced to
stick with them as their Pitchfork review recom-
mends. So I wonder then what they have next for us.
“I guess this album will run its course and it’ll prob-
ably wrap up at some point next year. There’s talk
maybe of a 2010 release. Now that we are buzzing
we are definitely ready to start all over again,” he
nods pleasantly. It becomes clear that the band’s
success derives from mastering and nurturing their
creations with skill, intelligence, and barely a hint
of smugness. Death Cab for Cutie, on the awkward
tightrope between indie and mainstream, have
held on to their integrity.
 inSIGHT

9
music

PAG E
The Digital switchover Where to next?

S
Digitalism till young
The Arches when they left
22/11/08 the burrow in
>> Harry Akehurst 2004, German
dance duo Digitalism
emerged straight into a field of serious heavyweights.
Formed in Hamburg, they share a country with Boys
Noize and border with current genre giants Daft Punk
and Justice in France, and Soulwax/2 Many DJs in Bel-
gium. If the geography could be claustrophobic, the
musical territory was even more confined, with each of
the big brands sufficiently similar to allow then to regu-
larly remix each other seamlessly into their sets.
It wouldn’t be true to say that Digitalism have struck
out in a brave new direction; by the common consent,
however, of an audience clamouring for live dance acts,
their saturated, chopped riffs and chantable choruses
are near enough to the best of the better-known for a
respectable degree of popularity. Their album Idealism
was more of an easily looped, easily sampled perform-
ance resource than a coherent collection of songs, but
recognisable as danceable party music to its crowd.
As such it was good, and together with a basketful
of solid-quality remixes from across the pop spectrum it
meant that Digitalism’s headlining slot at Death Disco’s
6th birthday party at the Arches on the 22nd was set
to be banging. The event saw a collection of capable
DJs inciting delirium to the Arches’ full-capacity of 2700
which packed the main arch to festival front line stand-
ards in anticipation of Digitalism’s 2am appearance. In
response to the heaving frenzy in front of them Digi-
talism may have felt a little pressure to maintain the
seamless pace of the previous acts; what they deliv-
ered was a powerful high-energy house set, which shot
on but never shone. Digitalism demonstrated with
their album that they understand the need for gaps in
modern dance beats like material by French contempo-
raries Justice and SebastiAn, tracks like ‘Home Zone’ are
most compelling because of their slashed and slanted
The Firemen
rhythm. However, in what appeared to be an effort to
shear off any glitches and keep their crowd jumping,
many of the holes were filled in.
Although undeniably energetic, the result was
nevertheless a little tame. Breaks and drops kept up the
dynamic, each one immaculately timed and faded but
always diving to the same depth and surfacing in the
same place. With transitions in speed, key, rhythm or
tune so rare and seamlessly executed, new directions
could rarely be felt to fully break through. Although this
sustained the gleeful bouncing which Digitalism clearly
aimed to achieve throughout the entire set, holding
back from the drama meant that they never managed
to become really exciting. It was Death Disco’s birthday
party: understatement was just not called for.
A sizeable spectrum of sources was tapped for
material, including isolated sections of Digitalism’s own
Buraka Som Sistema
tracks. The Arches’ huge sound system and its distinc-
tive acoustics funnelled basslines through the large
crowd like an analogue plough, while drum sounds
were crisp and full. It needed showing off, but Digi-
talism were afflicted by a rather inappropriate show of
modesty, and so although their selection of music was
effective and professional, it didn’t have many recog-
nisable chunks of their own songs in it. The full chorus
of ‘I Want I Want’ was eventually unleashed within the
last half hour: people cheered, they jumped higher
and they shouted along. More of these moments of
drama would have made Digitalism seem less depend-
able, and more fun. As with their various European
contemporaries, we expected more baiting with the
big choruses, more jarring with the jolting, choppy
beats, more cheering and more chance to recognise
their tunes than their talents.
>> Gerry McKeever
The almighty mess the music
industry is in is nothing if not well publi-
cised. Enormous growth in new alterna-
tive methods of acquiring music over the
internet have punched a big hole right
in the middle of the business. There is
quite simply just not enough demand
for the tangible product anymore, with
the previously fetishised mediums of
vinyl and CD on a rapid decline. The
public don’t care enough about owning
the ‘real thing’, now that the raw files can
be bought cheaply or shared for free.
What does this all mean for the hordes
of young talented bands and musicians
desperate for success? Every major city
now has a pretty large roster of small
independent record labels vying for the
attention of the wider public or battling
over localised niche markets. As a result,
many bands are able to ‘get signed’ to
one of these small labels, fulfilling a
massive childhood dream. But is this
really the step towards success that we
imagine anymore? Though many inde-
pendent labels have provided important
stepping stones for upcoming acts, the
harsh reality is that a lack of funding
and PR can often mean no real progress
ever materialises. Too many quality
bands find themselves being told that
their single or album will be appearing
‘soon’ — industry code for ‘we’re skint’.

Electric Arguments Black Diamond The real problem is the divide between
the small independent labels and the
Pinnacle - 24/11/08 Fabric Integral - 17/11/08

I E
level of the major labels. Because of
nevitably, The Fireman’s new album, Electric uropean clubbers are breaking out the problems the industry as a whole is
Arguments, will never really be viewed as their obsidian disco balls in prepa- experiencing, major labels cannot afford
anything other than the latest vehicle with ration for Black Diamond, the first to take any risks with acts, and will only
which Sir Paul McCartney has been desper- LP from Portuguese break-beat trio, sign anyone they are 100% sure will be
ately attempting to resurrect his floundering Buraka Som Sistema. The band claim to be a certified money-spinner. Getting to
career, and/or some semblance of artistic cred- championing a painstakingly underground the point of attracting interest from a
ibility. As such, it has certain expectations to live sound known as ‘Kuduro’. Kuduro, Portuguese major label is the mountain that modern
up to — namely, that it would be as resound- for ‘hard ass’, is a really low-tech strain of Techno acts find themselves having to climb,
ingly mediocre as much of his output has been that was born in Angola and has taken hold in as independent labels are often inca-
for the past decade or three. In this respect — Portugal. With strong Techno, Hip-hop, Samba pable of sufficiently helping them up.
and this respect only — it does not disappoint. and African Folk influences, making use of au- For uncompromising musicians, unpre-
This is bloated, outdated and egotistical claptrap, and yet there is awfully little one thentic drum tracks and some very basic sampling, Kuduro can only be described as pared to simply jump on a fad-fuelled
can say about the music — except that it is there — so resolute is the lack of charm, ‘hard ass’ African folk music. Buraka traveled to Luanda, Angola, to record the album, bandwagon, how can real progress be
innovation or interesting melody. If there is any redeeming aspect to be found in it’s collaborating with legends of the Kuduro circuit such as Puto Prata and Saborosa. Al- achieved? Though the draw of the state-
infliction upon the world, it could only be that at least, unlike Chinese Democracy; most completely unsurprisingly British artists MIA and Kano manage to get in on the ment “we’d like to sign you” is irresistible
product of that other stalwart of a bygone musical age, Axl Rose, its gestation pe- act as well (how do those crazy kids hear of such things?). Buraka have given Kuduro for many, increasingly doing it yourself
riod came in at under twelve years. Indeed, behind the façade of glossy production the heavily high-tech break-beat treatment in spades. The real Kuduro is smothered seems to be the best option. By taking
values, the inexplicable inclusion of pan-pipe harmonising, and the pseudo-profun- in glossy production and extravagantly distorted samples; Black Diamond is just an- out the middle-man, many young bands
dities to be found in the tired, boring lyrics, it has the feel of an album that might other African themed dance music album, an established, overworked concept that are able to retain complete control of
have been dreamt up and knocked together in someone’s lounge one Sunday, and hasn’t broken any boundaries since Leftfield’s Rhythm and Stealth. The sampling is their music, and are able to devote more
“classed up” with a labour intensive afternoon of Garage Band-ing. Of course, given in danger of sounding patronising: African children, jungle sounds etc. To its credit time and effort to their cause than an
the self-indulgent nature of the entire album, it seems equally conceivable that re- the opening track is as hard ass as you like, there are some wicked vocals thrown into over-stretched independent label ever
demption was always intended to belong to Macca alone: truly, the divorce which tracks 2 and 6, getting folkier towards track 8, petering out into a pretty pretentious could. This century is going to see the
brought new meaning to the word ‘acrimonious’ is no longer the worst thing that ending (“We were not born in Africa but Africa was born in us”). Buy it if you like that success of the truly unstoppable enthu-
he’s done in 2008. (Tom Bonnick) sort of thing. (George Binning) siasts and the shameless self-promotors.
 inSIGHT film
03/12/08
An ocean of rain
>> Lewis Porteous
It seems as though I am dealt some sort of awful
experience whenever I abandon Internet retail in
favour of its physical equivalent, with real people
and shops and things. These usually revolve around
being made to feel unjustly embarrassed over my
own, frankly impeccable, tastes. Months ago, when
buying a Laurel & Hardy DVD from a charity shop, I
found myself so overcome by the impotent desire
to prove that I wasn’t some old-before-my-time,
bus-stop-bound, blue-carrier-bag-carrying dork-in-
an-anorak, who’s so dead inside that the only thing
capable of eliciting a smile from me is the sight of
a fat man and a man of average weight pushing
each other while sporting clothes of an ill fit, that I
vowed never again to browse the sales racks of the
real world.
“I came to realise that my inner
lad is a pig-headed, reactionary
scumbag, and that he really has
no place dipping into Scorsese’s
oeuvre”
Subsequent relapses have justified my idealistic
abstinence, and it was with a mixture of delight
and horror that I found myself in HMV weeks ago,
growing increasingly irritated and confused by
something that wasn’t purely of my own inven-
tion. While examining a ‘special edition’ copy of
Martin Scorsese’s Taxi Driver, I found that a promo-
tional sticker proudly exclaiming “One for the lads”
adorned it. It was not long before I came to realise
that my inner lad is a pig-headed, reactionary
scumbag, and that he really has no place dipping
into Scorsese’s oeuvre, so bound is he to misinter-
pret it to suit his own wretched agenda of thinly
veiled, sexually frustrated misogyny and irony-free
Saturday night thuggery.
I’d guess that the film’s claim to lad-friendly
status lies in its iconic, frequently quoted “You
talkin' to me?” line. It's common knowledge, after
all, that wazzock's are obsessed with catch phrases
and general familiarity, whatever deplorable guise it
assumes. Still, it's troubling to consider that there are
lads who watch the film, triumphantly raising their
glasses in approval of scenes besides this one; like
the wretches who play Jeremy Kyle Show drinking
games, downing shots each time a snarling ex-con-
vict is seen head-butting an estranged, heavily
pregnant wife. Sam Peckinpah claimed that Straw
Dogs' audiences weren't supposed to approve of
Dustin Hoffman's adoption of appallingly brutal
behaviour, but rather pity his character and lament
the circumstances that necessitated his course of
action. Surely the same applies to Travis Bickle, and
the film's bloody, pimp-splattering conclusion is just
as muddled, unromantic and futile as the events
that led to it, stretching back as far as the Vietnam
war. Ah yes, lads: they love beer, sports, fatty foods,
those nylon jogging bottom things, vegetarian-
baiting and explorations of deep-seated psycho-
logical trauma against the backdrop of a morally
bankrupt society. Glancing around the shop, I
notice that copies of Easy Rider bear the exact same
sticker. I leave immediately, safe in the knowledge
that though Dennis Hopper's burnt-out, death of
the sixties vision is being marketed by completely
unfit hands, some day a real rain will come and wash
all these stickers off the streets.
A stab in the darkness
Blindness
Dir: Fernando Meirelles
On general release now
>> Louise Ogden
T
hroughout the film's lengthy conception,
it must have seemed as though 'Blindness'
would never be made. The author of the
book on which it is based, Nobel laureate
Jose Saramago, closely guarded the rights to the
work, fearing that in the wrong hands, its allegori-
cal story would be diluted or warped beyond rec-
ognition. Fortunately, after much convincing from
both director Fernando Meirelles and screenwriter
Don McKellar, Saramago relented, assured that their
hands were capable of producing a sensitive, faith-
ful adaptation.
The film is set in a nameless town, inhabited by
equally nameless characters who find themselves
suddenly struck down by a strange infection of
‘white blindness’. Those first infected are quaran-
tined in an abandoned mental health hospital by
the government in a vain attempt to contain the
epidemic. Those quarantined include the Doctor
(Mark Ruffalo) and the Doctor’s Wife (Julianne
Moore). The latter, however, in the film's one key
twist, can see.
Moore is the only witness to the horrible condi-
tions imposed upon the infected and the brutal
treatment to which the armed guards subject them.
Terror reigns within the state of quarantine when
The King of Ward Three (Gael Garcia Bernal) steals
the inhabitants' food supplies, demanding payment
for the other wards' rations, resulting in the captive
women being traded as currency.
Cinema is a visual medium, so translating the
The Secret Life of Bees
Dir: Gina Prince-Blythewood
On general release now
>> Victoria Gemmill
T
he marketing campaign behind The Secret Life of Bees gave me the
impression that the film would be two hours of overemphasised met-
aphor and sentimental mush. In reality, this can be considered a fairly
accurate assessment, but as the story progressed there seemed to be
terror of sudden blindness onto the big screen not to get the balance quite right. This is especially
was always destined to prove a struggle. Meirelles evident during the final scenes, throughout which
succeeds in doing so by relying on Moore as the Danny Glover’s narration as The Man with the Eye-
audiences’ main focus. Thankfully, she is more than Patch is littered with sentimentality, a stark contrast
capable of carrying the film, turning in a consist- the film's previously consistent tone.
ently enthralling performance as the only witness It's tempting to compare Blindness with other
to the chaotic and hellish blind world in which she apocalyptic films such as Children of Men or Day of
is entrapped. Another standout is Alice Braga as the the Triffids, but in spite of its plot, it is not a work
complex Woman with Dark Glasses, a prostitute in of science fiction. The film simply isn’t interested in
the world of sight, and a maternal figure in that of the how and the why; even the Doctor conveys no
the blind. desire to understand his situation, affording audi-
The film is often brutal and difficult to watch, ences little hope of conclusion. Blindness is a film
dispersed with little comic moments and often that deserves to be seen, but is likely to subject
heart-warming kindness amongst the infected. the viewer to more brutality than perhaps they are
However, allegory on film can often be either far too bargaining for, offering little in the way of salvation
subtle or far too patronising, and Meirelles tends or redemption.
at least a little more to it than trite cliché.
Set in South Carolina during the mid-sixties,the film tells the story of Lily
(Dakota Fanning), who accidently shot her mother at the age of four and has
consequently grown up treated with contempt by her bitter father, T. Ray. Her
character is, in spite of this, an inexplicably well-adjusted, confident and mature
(although suitably self involved) fourteen year-old, verging on self-righteous.
She has spent a lonely childhood dreaming of her mother and trying to deal
with her guilt; with no answers or support from her father.
Lily’s story is propelled forward when T. Ray’s black employee — and Lily’s
pseudo-mother figure, Rosaleen (Jennifer Hudson) — is beaten and arrested
while trying to register to vote. Lily rushes to the rescue, helps Rosaleen escape
and together they run away. A mysterious tile painted with a picture of the
Madonna, which previously belonged to Lily’s mother, leads the pair to the
home and bee farm of three more mother figures, the Boatwright sisters —
August (Queen Latifah), June (Alicia Keys) and May (Sophie Okonedo) — who
unquestioningly take Lily and Rosaleen under their wing. These women are
not like any either of two runaways has ever encountered before, who for the
first time feel safe. Although it requires a significant suspension of desire for
realism, Sophie Okonedo’s portrayal of May Boatright is notably enjoyable — a
deeply empathetic woman carrying the world’s grief in her heart. The character
is ingeniously and very effectively used as a constant reminder of the hardship
the characters have suffered — a tear-jerker personified.
Despite the lack of justification provided for the Boatwrights agreeing to
accommodate the strangers who turn up on their doorstep, the largely two-
dimensional and inconsistent central characters, and some strangely inconclu-
sive subplots, the film is as successful as it can be.
However, it seems that most of these flaws can be attributed to the Sue
Monk Kidd novel on which the film is based, and given such a fundamental
limitation, the achievements of the cast and director Gina Prince-Blythewood
are, it must be conceded, admirable.
 inSIGHT

11
film

PAG E
Changeling
Dir: Clint Eastwood
On general release now

>> Claire Strickett

S
ometimes the truth is so bizarre that it really couldn’t have
been made up. The factual story behind Clint Eastwood’s
latest film is one such truth.
1928, Los Angeles: the local police department trium-
phantly reunite hardworking single mother Christine Collins (Ange-
lina Jolie) with her son, who’s been missing for the past 5 months.
What better way to begin a film than with a fairytale ending? There’s
just one small hitch: as soon as she sees him, Christine knows that the
boy is not her child. More bad publicity is the last thing the corrupt
and extensively unpopular LAPD needs, and despite Christine’s
desperate entreaties, the police refuse to admit their mistake. Instead,
they prefer to smear Christine in the eyes of the press, portraying her
as a heartless, unfit mother. When she refuses to keep quiet, they
attempt to ensure her silence, once and for all, by throwing her into a
psychiatric hospital.
So begins a desperate battle between one woman and the seem-
ingly invincible machinery of state power, from the crooked police
force to the brutal psychiatric hospital manned by cold, manipulative
staff. Both interested only in maintaining a status quo through which
their own interests are furthered. fighting a Kafkaesque bureaucratic nightmare and a damaging While the storyline is undoubtedly gripping, with 140 minutes’
dominant ideology. worth of dense, twisting plot to grapple with and high-minded moral
“With 140 minutes' worth of dense, twisting There are already rumours of Academy Award-recognition for critiques to be made, there’s no space in the script for such niceties as
plot to grapple with, there's no space in the Jolie’s portrayal of Christine. While her skeletal, pouting beauty subtle character development. The final line, in particular, falls into the
script for such niceties as subtle character betrays itself as incongruously modern within an otherwise immac- category of notable clichés you will only ever hear spoken by charac-
ulately recreated period setting, her performance is pitched just on ters in the movies.
development” the right side of melodrama throughout.Yet Jolie struggles to craft And that’s the strange thing about this film. Despite the fact that
This is perhaps as close to feminism as mainstream Hollywood a three-dimensional character out of the material with which she it is ‘a true story’, as its tagline proudly proclaims, and despite the fact
can get without having cynical motives in mind. Christine is shown is presented, never fully achieving a believable balance between that much of the script is based on genuine documentation of the
to be the victim of a society which can conceive of women in only Christine’s naturally docile nature and her tenacious strength and case, Eastwood never creates much feeling of intimacy, or gives the
the most condescending terms, as hysterical, illogical, untrustworthy courage. Any potential subtleties in her character — and all the viewer the sense that they are receiving anything approximating
beings who ought to know their place and leave men to undertake others — are obscured by the film’s clear-cut presentation of good genuine psychological insight into the lives of real people. Change-
the decision-making process on their behalf. This is a society in and evil. Christine is never anything but a selfless, devoted mother, ling deals with the most basic and moving of human instincts, but
which the phrase ‘an independent woman’ is an insult. During its best and her nemesis Police Captain JJ Jones (an excellent Jeffrey in the end it is too grandiose and overblown a film to succeed on a
moments, Changeling strikes a blow for the courageous individual Donovan) is never anything but the hateful baddie. human level.

Choke Nonetheless, in almost every other quantifiable the story, the romantic one, thereby creating the throughout the duration of his novels. So, Victor and
respect, the two films are starkly different — and impression that the remaining strands have simply Denny are sex addicts, Ida is a slightly sociopathic
Dir: Clark Gregg
the contrast is really warranted little more than with been jammed in as a neglected afterthought. At con artist, and this is how we ought to view them.
On general release now
any other picture. best, there are echoes of the original text’s narra- Remarkably, Rockwell and Huston both succeed in
Fitting somewhat uneasily tive tone — notably through the use of detached, bringing a greater level of humanity to their roles,
>> Tom Bonnick

I
between black comedy,
nevitably, and perhaps unfairly, the mid-life crisis drama and
immediate comparison everybody family reconciliation, Choke
has drawn — encouraged by cannot have been an easy
Fox Searchlight, the distribu- story to put on screen.
tor, no less — with Choke, director Cinemagoers expecting
Clark Gregg’s feature debut, has easily definable genre
been with Fight Club. This is not will be disappointed, as
without reason — after all, this is will anyone expecting the
only the second film to be adapted full force of Palahniuk’s
from a Chuck Palahniuk novel — the devilish imagination. Gregg
first, of course, being David Fincher’s struggles to fully reflect the
opus on homoeroticism author’s unique authorial
and soap-related voice — an admit-
acts of ter- tedly daunting
ro r i s m . task — and
hones in on
one aspect
o f
laconic voiceover - as well as that of Fight Club,
which in this respect it does attempt to mimic —
but they remain only that: echoes; inferior repro-
ductions.
In spite of its relative shortcomings, there is
no denying that this is an enjoyably unusual film,
“Huston provides the most
captivating moments, flitting
between charismatic and
dangerously unhinged”
and the relatively weak script is magnificently
redeemed by strong leading performances. Sam
Rockwell plays Victor Mancini, stuck in his job as
an 18th century reenactor with best friend
Denny (Brad William Henke), after dropping
out of medical school to pay for mother Ida’s
(Angelica Huston) care home treatment.
An unavoidable weakness in develop-
ment derives from Palahniuk’s own obses-
sion with endowing each of his characters
with a single ‘crazy’ attribute, and then
defining them according to this feature
earning empathy and perhaps even a little recogni-
tion. Whilst the former is undoubtedly a solid lead,
it is Huston who provides the most captivating
moments, flitting between charismatic and danger-
ously unhinged with fluidity and conviction.
What’s more, the romantic arc, between Victor
and the slightly mysterious, ever-present Paige
Marshall (Kelly MacDonald), is an endearing one
— appropriately unconventional, but never in the
contrived or tacky manner that new directors seem
to opt for as a means of establishing their indie
credentials. MacDonald is beguiling; her native
Scottish accent seamlessly replaced with a soft
American twang, and she demonstrates an ever-
expanding versatility, particularly after a previous
role in No Country For Old Men.
The final, typically Palahniuk-ian denouement
— which I shan’t ruin here — although surprising
for those unfamiliar with the story, is hardly the
shocking revelation that Gregg perhaps was aiming
for. However, the more understated approach
through which it is revealed feels nicely befitting to
the overall feel: hardly groundbreaking, but reassur-
ingly entertaining.
 Hospitality Services new catering outlet
open 12 January 2009, level 3, the Fraser Building

Soup station...
Open 8 till late...
Chef's theatre...
Core cuisine...
Fresh every day...
Hospitality Services are pleased to announce the opening on 12 January 2009 of two new
catering outlets on Level 3 of the Fraser building, offering preferential prices to all students*

‘Food to go’ will be open from 8am for quality Fairtrade tea and coffee, freshly-made
sandwiches and home baking to take away. From Monday to Thursday, ‘Food to go’ will be open
until 7.30pm with hot snacks and soup available to sustain youHospitality
for evening study in the Library.
Services

‘Food for thought’ will offer full breakfast Hospitality

from 8.30am and lunch from 11.30am. There Services

is wi fi access in the 400-seater restaurant.

The Chef’s theatre will offer meals cooked
to order from the wok station, baked potatoes Ready...

and baguettes will be filled to order from the

Natural Choice counter, and you can expect
good value daily offers, including a vegan
choice, from Core Cuisine. Soup Station
will have a home-made vegan option to enjoy
...steady...
in the restaurant or to take away.

When fully open, the Fraser Building will be

a one-stop shop for students with careers
advice, registry services, a doctor’s surgery
and catering facilities under one roof.
...eat!

Catering to a higher degree.

*Valid registration card must be shown at time Food for thought opens 12 January 2009
of purchase.
The Fraser Building

The University of Glasgow, charity number SC004401