New Moon-

Chapters: 16,17,18, and 19

From Alice’s
Point of
View…
Chapter 16- The Vision

“Jasper!” Frantically I called screaming out into the woods, my eyes

seemed feeble as I searched further into the ragged trees to no avail. Why
now! We had separated too far whilst hunting. What on earth was Bella
doing? How could she do this? To Edward! To me! I needed to leave now
but where was Jasper? Again I screamed, “JASPER!” scanning the forest
in anticipation as I heard his faint footsteps come closer. She still hadn’t
resurfaced from the water! What was she doing? I frantically searched
deeper into the future trying desperately to find her. “Jasper…” I
whimpered helplessly as he shot across the clearing in a second he was
next to me. I crumpled onto the ground in defeat, “What Alice! What is
it?” For a tenth of a second I sat there wide-eyed. I couldn’t see her.
Bella’s future had disappeared. My best friend would be lying somewhere
in the bottom of the ocean in a matter of minutes and I couldn’t do
anything about it. “Alice I am losing my mind! What is going on?” He
stared into my eyes and he grabbed my shoulders shaking me gently but
enough to make me snap out of my trance. I swallowed loudly trying to
gain control of myself to say the name that had not been mentioned out
loud in months. “Bella…” I whispered, “She’s… Jasper she has tried to…
kill herself.” My voice broke on the word kill. Suddenly I was furious,
she had promised Edward that she would keep herself safe and this is
what she does! Jumps of a bloody cliff! Jasper swallowed loudly, “Alice
we promised. We wouldn’t interfere… it’s not our place to meddle… we
can’t” I stared at him incredulously. “What!” I stuttered not believing that
the words had escaped his lips, “We have to! I love her Jasper. I didn’t
even get to say goodbye! My last memory of her is seeing her lying
across our dining room table! I cant… I won’t do nothing!” Jasper gazed
at me tasting my determination. I didn’t have time for this I had to go,
Bella needed me. “Are you staying here? Because I have to go. I will
never forgive myself if I do nothing and she dies.” I glared at Jasper
trying to break free of his hold. “This is too much for me to just ignore.” I
could see his eyes torn between his loyalty to Edward and his disparity on
letting me leave. “Alice we promised Edward, I wont go meddling in
Bella’s life. I have done enough damage.” I stared at him; he still had not
forgiven himself. He was in pain and I was leaving, I sighed internally
and gave him a swift kiss on the lips and took once last glance at his
inhumanely beautiful face. Breathing quietly I whispered, “I love you”
and turned away from him to face the direction Forks was in.
I tore through the ground, trying to make myself fly the way that Edward
did I had another 300 miles but it could have been worse. Thank
goodness Jasper and I had decided to visit the Denalis, running was the
fastest way to Bella now and I was so close I could almost see her. Crap
I thought to myself. I didn’t get to hunt and now I am running to a town
of very appetizing humans. Brilliant. A million questions started filling
my mind. What was I going to if I found her dead? Would I tell Edward?
How would Edward take it? Would he go to the Volturi? Would Jasper
forgive me? Did Bella know the destruction she was causing or was this a
joke to her? Did she know how much Edward loves her? I shook my
head. I didn’t have time for this, all of this thinking was slowing me
down and I had to keep going. I was so close… almost at Seattle. Don’t
do it Bella! I tried to believe that somehow my vision was just a mistake
and that I was going crazy. Please don’t let her be dead. Please just let her
be alive. Almost at Forks, almost there. I ran further and further streaking
past the highway like a comet until finally I was in. Forks the rainiest
town know to man. The welcoming sign used to make Bella and I chuckle
when we went driving but now it just made my throat thick with sadness.
She had to be alive. How could Edward just leave her, she needed him
just as much as he needed her. I don’t take being a vampire lightly but
Bella wanted it and he wouldn’t give it to her. This has all gotten beyond
ridiculous. I had seen her a vampire, it had been a possibility at the time
but why not now? I flew along the roads and realised that I was decided;
if Bella by some miracle were alive I would change her. Edward loved
her and Bella loved him. It needn’t be so complex! I ran with anticipation
now I was so close to her house that I could taste her. This was bad, my
thirst was out of control I hadn’t hunted in a month and I was about to
step into her home? Focus! I finally after what seemed like years of
running was back where I belonged. In Forks, the place where I truly felt
like I had family. Bella was family to me. A sister, not like Rosalie whom
I had adopted, but a real sister. She couldn’t be dead I told myself over
and over again, but I knew the truth her future was gone. Disappeared.
My hope of true happiness had evaporated whilst I was still with Jasper.
She was dead, and all I could do now was comfort Charlie. Carefully I
was towards the house I had grown to love, the deadbolt was unlocked
and Charlie wasn’t home. Oh Jesus! What if he didn’t know! I braced
myself; this was going to be one of the hardest days of my life. Quickly I
sped towards the front door and retrieved the key from my pocket, which
Charlie had given me without Bella’s knowledge. Again my throat
became thick, unlocking the door I paused expecting a real change but of
course Charlie a man of tradition kept things simple. Slowly walking
through the door I went to sit in one of the plastic dining room chairs and
waited…
Minutes passed, cars went by but Charlie didn’t return. My only guess
was that he didn’t know yet and that he was sitting oblivious at his desk
in the station. I tapped nervously on the table, I had never felt the need to
fidget, it was uncharacteristic for not only a vampire but me as well.
Trying to clear my thoughts I got up. This wasn’t right I shouldn’t be
here. Charlie was going to be a wreck and the last thing he needs is me to
be here reminding him of his daughters ex-boyfriend. Maybe I had to go.
But was that best? I couldn’t be sure what he would need, only that I
desperately wanted to comfort him. Finally after what seemed like years
of waiting a car slowed and pulled into the drive. Charlie was home, in
Bella’s truck? What was going on? This was a first for me. In my century
of existence I had never been caught by surprise. The fumbling for keys
caught my attention and before I had time to catch myself someone was
standing in the doorway. But it wasn’t Charlie. It was Bella. What the hell
was she doing alive? Relief spread through me until my emotions were
taken over and I was suddenly pissed. What the hell! I wanted to scream
but that would probably scare her so instead I opted for turning on the
light, which she seemed incapable of doing.
Although the light did nothing for me and I saw all the same, she
obviously did not and her eyes grew wide. For a moment she stood still
gently rocking forward until she was charging at me. “Alice, oh Alice!”
She spluttered as she slammed into my hard body. Right a month without
hunting was definitely a terrible idea! I really wanted to hug her back but
I wasn’t going to risk it. I was now furious, relieved and confused all at
the same time. “Bella?” She wrapped her arms around me and secured
herself to my rigid body. I had not prepared myself for this. Bella was a
train wreck. Her puffy eyes filled with tears as she started sobbing, but
that was not it. She looked totally empty, I could only see a brief glimmer
of the girl I knew and loved. Helplessly I dragged her over to the couch
where she undoubtedly would be more comfortable. She curled herself up
against my stone cold body and her convulsions started once more.
Desperately trying to calm her I rubbed her back to sooth her before I
asked her why I had seen her jump of a cliff. “I’m… sorry,” she
blubbered. No I had definitely not been prepared for this. I thought seeing
Edward curled up in a ball for weeks after leaving Bella had been pain
but Bella. She was in pain. “I’m just… so happy… to see you!” This was
killing me! How had he not anticipated her reaction! I had told him that I
saw her walking aimlessly through the forest calling his name…
whimpering it. He had not listened, did he not realise how he had altered
her in the exact same way that she had altered him. They were 100%
meant for each other and he was able to leave her. I rubbed her back
again and said quietly, “It’s okay Bella. Everything’s okay.” I wanted to
believe my words to be true but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t be able to leave her
again after this, it had been unbearable the first time to just leave without
saying goodbye. How could I possibly do that to her all over again when
she was like this? I couldn’t, I wouldn’t. Edward was wrong he should
never have left her and looking at her now was proof. She continued
bawling but managed to get out a, “Yes.” I was trying to distract myself
though so I wasn’t paying much attention any more to what she was
saying. She smelled too appetizing for her own good and I had to pull my
head rigidly back so the full impact of her scent didn’t hit me any more
than it needed to. I didn’t want to tell her to get off of me as I missed her
so much but I was actually afraid that I was going to hurt her. In a
disapproving tone I hinted, “I’d forgotten how exuberant you are,” and
then pressed my lips together tightly so I didn’t have to breathe in her
scent. Recognition filled her face as she realized the problem, “Oh, I’m
sorry.” What a thing to apologize for, I laughed very quietly under my
breath that she didn’t even notice, “It’s my own fault. It’s been too long
since I last hunted. I shouldn’t let myself get so thirsty. But I was in a
hurry today.” I glared at her and decided now was the time to ask my
burning questions, if it was at all possible she may have given me a heart
attack. “Speaking of which, would you like to explain to me how you’re
still alive?” Finally she stopped crying and I realized that she looked
worse than even I imagined. Oh Bella you have no idea how much you
altered Edward. But I never imagined that she was just as altered as he
was. And what the hell was she wearing? If they get back together I am
buying her a house- with a closet so large she will never ever have to
wear anything that resembles the ensemble she was currently sporting. I
surveyed the rest of her so quickly she didn’t notice. Oh Jesus! What was
I going to do with her? She was an absolute mess from head to toe! I was
prepared to start sorting her outfit out right then and there but her loud
swallowing brought me back to reality. “You saw me fall?” She asked
like it was a question. Did she think I was that stupid? She should have
known that I would pick up a detail like that. “No.” I disagreed firmly, “I
saw you jump.” I studied her face to find anything that would give her
away. Her pursing lips were tightly wound as she looked for the
explanation that would anger me the least. Of all things for her to do,
why did it have to be the one thing that would totally demolish Edward’s
already broken heart? I sighed; it wasn’t just Edward it was me too. These
last few months had been unbearable; I couldn’t see her or call her. I
thought I had nothing but still I had Jasper. Edward had nothing. He was
stripped of the one thing he loved the most and there she stood throwing
her life away. I told him but still why would she do this? “I told him this
would happen, but he didn’t believe me.” “Bella promised,” I imitated so
my voice sounded exactly like his. Her response was immediate, she
flinched and her hairs started standing tall on her arms. She was even
worse than I could have imagined I continued my imitation so that I could
assess her reaction again, “Don’t be looking for her future, either. We’ve
done enough damage.” I stopped afraid that I would irreversibly hurt her.
I don’t even know if she noticed how violently she was reacting to just a
glimmer of similarity between my voice and his. I was not prepared for
this, Edward wasn’t going to come back and I wasn’t going to make this
harder by telling her the truth. I would lie and tell her that I wasn’t
looking for her future. “But just because I’m not looking, doesn’t mean I
don’t see, I wasn’t keeping tabs on you I swear, Bella. It’s just that I’m
already so attuned to you…” I couldn’t bear this, lying to her. How had
Edward done it? Convinced her that he didn’t love her anymore! Why
had she believed him. If only she had known Edward before, how
incomplete he was to what he was when he met her, a totally new person.
But I must carry on the lie; this wasn’t my decision as much as I hated it-
Edward had chosen. “When I saw you jumping, I didn’t think I just got
on a plane. I knew I would be too late, but I couldn’t do nothing. And
then I get here thinking maybe I could help Charlie somehow, and you
drive up.” I shook my head angrily- this was so frustrating! Why couldn’t
she see it! But then I was confused, how was she alive? I had seen her, it
was painful to think about. “ I saw you go into the water and I waited and
waited for you to come up, but you didn’t. What happened? And how
could you have done that to Charlie? Did you stop to think what this
would do to hi? And my brother? Do you have any idea what Edward-”
She cut me off, not because of her interruption but because of the pain
that became as plain as writing on her skin when I spoke Edward’s name.
“Alice, I wasn’t committing suicide.” Yeah right! I thought dubiously to
myself. What were you doing then? Maybe she had gotten the idea from
Esme. I would challenge this, Bella still didn’t realise that we loved her.
What a silly girl! “Are you saying you didn’t jump off a cliff?” I was
clearly going to have to force this out of her. “No, but…” She lifted her
eyebrow slightly to make it look like she was trying to make something
sound less crazy. “It was for recreational purposes only.” Recreational?
As in for fun? Bella jumped of a... cliff- for fun! Seeing as the cliff
obviously didn’t do the job maybe I could kill her! What the hell was the
thinking! Well she obviously wasn’t! Jumping of a cliff! I fought for
composure and I felt my face harden uncontrollably. She obviously
noticed this lapse in control and tried to explain, “I’d seen some of
Jacob’s friends cliff diving. It looked like… fun, and I was bored…”
Jacob? Who was Jacob and what did she mean fun! She jumped off of a
cliff for fun. Some people collect stamps. Others go shopping. Bella, she
jumps of a bloody cliff as a hobby! I waited for her to continue not
trusting my voice. “I didn’t think about how the storm would affect the
currents. Actually, I didn’t think about the water much at all.” Of course
she didn’t just like Edward had said- she has a one-track mind. I wanted
to smack her for being so stupid and definitely didn’t think that she had
only jumped off the cliff for ‘fun’. No she was definitely trying to commit
suicide. “So if you saw me go in, why didn’t you see Jacob?” Again with
this Jacob! I cocked my head to the side trying to remember who he
was… Jacob. Hmmm another mystery. But she had a point, why hadn’t I
seen him? Ugh! As I leaned in closer Bella’s scent hit me. She smelt
awful! Like a mix between wet dog, brine and somewhere in the depths
of it all her sweet floral scent lingered. She continued her explanation
barely noticing my distraction, “It’s true that I probably would have
drowned if Jacob hadn’t jumped in after me. Well, okay, there’s no
probably about it. But he did, and he pulled me out, and I guess he towed
me back to shore, though I was kind of out for that part. It couldn’t have
been more than a minute that I was under before he grabbed me. How
come you didn’t see that?” That was a good point. Why hadn’t I seen her
being pulled out? I had never had to think about why I had my visions
just that I had them. Why weren’t they working properly? I now finally
understand how Edward must have felt that first day he saw Bella and
realised he couldn’t here her thoughts. Was there something wrong with
me? I frowned in perplexity, this complicated things. “Someone pulled
you out?” I didn’t want to scare her but I had never been so frightened in
my life. How could I not have seen that? Were my visions lying to me so
that I could see Bella? And if I was, did I miss her that much that I was
actually lying to myself so that I could see her? She looked embarrassed,
“Yes… Jacob saved me.” This Jacob again! I was dying to ask her who he
was- but was that intruding. I wanted to stay so badly but then what about
Edward and Jasper and the rest of my family. And I had promised myself
that if I found her alive I would change her. This was too much; she
didn’t even know the extent of which her actions would cause my family
distress again. But then she was my family. She was part of me, which
meant she was part of us. It doesn’t matter if Edward had the strength to
leave- I didn’t! Ugh, the smell of her was really getting to me. It smelt
strangely like an animal but I couldn’t pinpoint it. A wolf maybe? “Don’t
be ridiculous.” I muttered mostly to myself as I sniffed her once more.
She eyed me curiously, “What are you doing?” I ignored her question
focusing on where I had smelt the strange scent once before. Maybe it
was the scent of this ‘Jacob’. Finally concluding that I wasn’t intruding I
asked the burning question, “Who were you with out there just now? It
sounded like you were arguing.” In truth I was so focused on her reaction
that I was barely listening to her reply but the name she spoke caught my
attention. “Jacob Black. He’s… sort of my best friend, I guess. At least,
he was…” Black. One of the Quileute’s no doubt. But why was she with
him? Maybe she was on a date and afraid to tell me. Why did that bother
me so much, Edward had left her she had a right to move on. She looked
at me trying to understand my expression, “What?” I sighed trying to
figure out something to say to her, “I don’t know, I’m not sure what this
means.” At least I wasn’t lying, I had absolutely no idea what any of this
meant. I had gotten a vision wrong, I had come when I wasn’t supposed
to and I had left Jasper when he needed me the most. This was a mess I
should have just butted out like Jasper had said. I am so dense! “Well I’m
not dead at least.” I rolled my eyes- trust Bella to say something like that
so casually. “He was a fool to think you could survive alone. I’ve never
seen anyone so prone to life-threatening idiocy.” I was downplaying my
real worry of that she could die at any moment. Bella was so fragile, next
time it could be an illness or she could just have a heart attack and die.
That was it. There would always be a next time. I wouldn’t be able to
come and see if she was okay every time I got a vision of her doing
something stupid. I had to make a chose. Either I would stay and turn her
or leave forever. All I knew is that Edward was right to leave if her being
human was the only way. But it wasn’t- why couldn’t he see that! Bella
wanted to be a vampire, I wasn’t sure if she still did but I would give her
the option. She deserved options; Edward had left without even asking
her what she wanted. He loved her enough to leave her. It was so tragic,
so dramatic and just so Edward. She stood there annoyed by my
statement. “I survived.” Yes This time I amended in my head. I thought
through her explanation about the cliff and how she had jumped for fun
she spoke about Jacob pulling her out. How had he managed it? “So, if
the currents were too much for you, how did this Jacob manage?” She
paused before she spoke. What was she hiding from me? “Jacob is…
strong.” My eyebrows rose automatically I could hear that she was
holding back. Her voice rose unnaturally and octave or two. I waited
gently tapping my foot for her to tell me the full story, she was debating
whether or not the tell me. Gently biting her lip whenever she was
nervous was always a giveaway, “See well he’s… sort of a werewolf. The
Quileute’s turn into wolves when there are vampires around. They know
Carlisle from a long time ago. Were you with Carlisle back then?” A
werewolf! Was she insane! First she has a vampire boyfriend and then she
befriends a bloody werewolf! She was crazy! But that did explain the
terrible smell which I was grateful for as otherwise she would be too
tempting. “Well I guess that explains the smell.” I muttered trying to
piece all of this information together, however, “But does it explain what
I didn’t see?” Frowning I tried to understand why my vision wasn’t
impaired. She looked offended, “The smell?” I chuckled very quietly
under my breath, “You smell awful, a werewolf? Are you sure about that?
I desperately wanted her to say no but I could only guess what she had
seen. The little I knew about werewolves I did know about their
uncontrollable tempers. “Very sure.” She confirmed. This was
unbearable, how could I even think about leaving knowing that she was
being left in the hands of werewolves! She looked at me with another
confused expression, “I guess you weren’t with Carlisle the last time
there were werewolves here in Forks?” I frowned at that, “No. I hadn’t
found him yet,” I was fumbling in my thoughts after much that I had just
learned. Maybe she didn’t realise. “Your best friend is a werewolf?” She
nodded with a sheepish expression. For goodness sake! Of all the
dangerous animals to befriend she chose vampires and werewolves!
Abruptly I was angry, “How long has this been going on?” My tone came
out harsher then I intended and she became defensive, “Not long! He’s
only been a werewolf for just a few weeks.” WEEKS! That was even
worse! An unstable, volatile werewolf was her best friend. I glowered at
her, “A young werewolf? Even worse! Edward was right- you’re a
magnet for danger. Weren’t you supposed to be staying out of trouble?” I
don’t know why she had ever agreed to Edward’s request she was a
danger magnet she couldn’t keep her promise! “There is nothing wrong
with werewolves.” She amended, Nothing wrong. Is she trying to make
me lose my mind? Oh God Bella, so young and so incredibly naïve,
“Nothing wrong until they lose there tempers.” Shaking my head I
thought about the irony. My brother left because he believed we were
monsters. Slightly insulting if I am honest but whatever he can have his
opinion. How was it that once we left all this could happen? “Leave it to
you Bella. Anyone else would be better off when the vampires left town.
Bu you have to start hanging out with the first monsters you can find.” I
only threw monsters in there to remind her of Edward and if looks as if it
worked, she winced but it appeared as though she didn’t even realize that
she had. I didn’t want to argue with Bella, that wasn’t why I was here.
But I had made a promise to myself, I found her alive, but do I actually
have the guts to go behind Edward’s back and change her? The only
reasons they are not together is because she is human and he refuses to
subject her to utter eternal damnation. What he never even considered is
that Bella loved him. All of him, vampire-ness and all. She wasn’t going
to leave just because he wasn’t human, that’s just not the kind of person
Bella is. She needed him and dammit even the last few months have
proven anything then he needs her too. She looked extremely hesitant
suddenly before saying the last thing I expected to hear from her lips,
“No, Alice, the vampires didn’t really leave- not all of them, anyway.
That’s the whole trouble. If it weren’t for the werewolves, Victoria would
have gotten me by now. Well, if it weren’t for Jake and his friends,
Laurent would have gotten me before she could, I guess so-”
 Wait WHAT. “ Victoria? Laurent?” Venom was pooling in my mouth,
those fuckers. And Edward, bloody fool for ever thinking she could
survive without him. She nodded setting my thinking straight again.
“Danger magnet, remember” Yeah no kidding Bella, shaking her head I
waved my hand in her direction and she breathed deeply, “Tell me
everything- start at the beginning.” I was actually pretty worried to hear
what she had to say. What if she came across even more dangerous beings
than she was letting on? I can’t believe I shut myself of to her visions. I
would have to look into the future later, to see if I can see what she is
hiding. Breathing deeply I noticed her erratic heart, it really wasn’t
healthy for her to be so strained all the time. She began telling me about
her life up until about fifteen minutes ago, she told me about the meadow,
this Jake character, the werewolves, Harry’s death, and then the strange
read flame. Victoria, I almost crushed a line permanently into my
forehead after hearing that part. Stupid Bitch, just wait until Emmett got a
hold of her. Charlie would be home soon, in exactly… twenty-three
minutes. Sighing I addressed an anxious Bella, “Our leaving didn’t do
you any good at all, did it?” She laughed a slightly hysterical sound and I
was immediately worried. She was making me lose my mind, “That was
never the point, though was it? It’s not like you let for my benefit.” I
scowled, she obviously didn’t know I agreed with her and that we should
never of left, however despite that Edward’s intentions were only
thinking of her. I should never have come today; he was going to kill me.
But then again, Bella needed me and he made the wrong decision in the
first place. Without her he is miserable at best. “Well I guess I acted
impulsively today. I probably shouldn’t have intruded.” Her face became
a sudden deathly pale white, almost as white as my own skin. Almost
inaudibly she whispered, “Don’t go Alice.” I was truly worried now, her
breathing, erratic and unstable was sending me into a panic. I should have
convinced Jasper to come; he would know what to do. Anything to calm
her down I quickly reassured her, “All right. I’m not going anywhere
tonight. Take a deep breath.” I glanced at her face waiting for her to calm
down and almost started hyperventilating myself. Deep purple circles
layered under eyes. They were at loss of the sparkle they usually emitted
and her hair was lank. Lying flat completely lost of life. She looked
noticeably skinner, as though she hasn’t been eating and he clothes hung
loose on her frail frame. I waited for her baited breath to calm until I told
her my evaluation, “You look like hell, Bella.” She didn’t even look
slightly offended before reminding me, “I drowned today.” Was she really
going to try and blame it on that? She and I both know that it goes much
further than that. “It goes deeper than that. You’re a mess.”