There were 4 sardars in Mumbai. They decided to start a business.

After consider able discussion they finally decided to start a hotel.They selected the best of locations and cooks and built the hotel. The hotel was inaugrated and was awaiti ng its first customer.The sardars waited and waited but nobody turned up.The sto ry was the same the next day. A week passed,but nobody turned up. WHY ? .......... B'coz there was a sign at the entrance "Visitors not allowed" After the failure of their hotel they decided to start an auto garage. They boug ht the best of car servicing equipments and soon started the garage. The 4 sarda rs waited that day for the first car to arrive but no car entered their garage. They waited for one day, 2 days, a week but no car came to their garage. WHY ? ... B'coz their garage was on the first floor. After this failure they decided to fall back on the good old taxi driving.They b ought a new Premier Padmini running on CNG and began to look for passengers. The y drew past Churchgate but nobody hailed their taxi.They went to Nariman point y et nobody hailed their taxi. They drove to Chatrapati ShivajiTerminus, even ther e nobody hailed their taxi. In desperation they kept on driving all around Mumba i but alas no one hailed their taxi. WHY ? B'coz all the four sardars were sitting in the taxi!! All the 4 sardars were very disgusted with their naseeb an decided to push their taxi into the sea at Marine Lines. They started pushing their taxi. They pushed the whole day and were very exhausted but the taxi did not move even an inch.Th ey decided to rest for the night and start the next day. The next day the story repeated itself. The taxi just wouldnt move.They pushed for a whole week but the taxi wouldnt budge. WHY ? B'coz two sardarjis were pushing from front and two from behind. -=-=-=-=-=Sardarji Proffesor Inside the Class : Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in. Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in. Cut an apple into two halves - take the bigger half. Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away in the corridor You, meet me behind the class. ( meaning AFTER the class ..) Both of u three, get out of the class. Close the doors of the windows please .. I have winter in my nose today... Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver..... Take 5 cm wire of any length.... About his family : I have two daughters. Both of them are girls...(?) At the ground : All of you, stand in a straight circle. There is no wind in the ball. To a boy, angrily : I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk ? Giving a punishment :

You, rotate the ground four times... You, go and under-stand the tree... You three of you, stand together separately. Why are you late - say YES or NO ....(?) Sir at his best : Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did not see them. So the next day at sch ool... (to that boy) - " Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre" -=-=-=-=-=* A Sardarji, a Muslim, a Hindu and an American were flying. Suddenly the plane's engine goes bad. So everybody is advised to jump. But they realise that there ar e no parachutes on the plane. Sardar being little bold thinks "saala marna tey haiga, why not try something". He unties his turban and holds the ends, making it like a Parachute, and jumps o ut. Luckily the idea works and he floats down like on a parachute. Seeing this, Hindu pandit also opens his dhoti and does the same, he also starts floating. Now Muslim also removes his kurta and does the same and he too starts floating. Now comes American's turn. Poor chap is wearing torn Bermudas and a tattered T-s hirt. Anyway he also removes them ties everything up and jumps. But it does not hold and he starts falling very quickly. On the way to the ground he passes the Muslim, who says "Allah tumhari khair kare". Another 1000 feet and he passes the Pandit. Pandit says "Bhagwan tumhari raksha kare". Falling rapidly, he quickly passes the Sardarji. Sardarji says "accha aey gul eh .....race lagani haigi, le phir"......... and leaves the turban. -=-=-=-=-=Mrs. Banta Singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. One day she hung up after 25 minutes."What is t he matter today? asked her husband. "Today you had less than half an hour conver sation on the phone." "I got a wrong number," replied Mrs. Banta Singh. -=-=-=-=-=A haryanavi peasant came to the office of The Hindustan Times to place an advert isement announcing his father's death. "The rate is Rs. 360 per single col. cm," the clerk told him. "Main to lut jaoonga - I 'll be ruined," exclaimed the hary anavi. "My father was 182 cms tall." -=-=-=-=-=* Two Sardarjis were in conversation on the beach : Sardarji 1 :Praaji , Ise 'beach' kyo kaheete hai ? Sardarji 2 : Tumhe nahi pata ? Sardarji 1 : Nahi pata. Sardarji 2 : Woh to Aasmaan aur Zameen ke beech mein hai esliye eesai beach kahe te hai . -=-=-=-=-=A Sardarji finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask Bhagwan for help. He goes into the temple and begins to pray... "Oh Bhagwan, please help me , I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my hous e as well, please let me win the lotto". Lotto night comes and somebody else win

s it. The Sardarji goes back to the temple... "Bhagwan, please let me win the lo tto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well". Lott o night comes and the Sardarji still has no luck!! Back to the temple... "My Bha gwan, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my w ife and children are starving... I don't often ask you for help and I have alway s been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one t ime so I can get my life back in order???". Suddenly there is a blinding flash o f light as the sky parts open and the Sardarji is confronted by the voice of Lor d: "SARDARJI, BUY THE DAMN TICKET FIRST". -=-=-=-=-=* One fine day, Santa Singh was cycling back after a hard days work whistling his favorite tune and pedaling along the road dreaming about the Parathas awaiting h im at his home. Suddenly!!! something came down out of the blue and hit Santa on his face with a SPLATSHHH!!!! and our poor Santa couldn t control the impact and came crashing down head over heels..somehow he managed to take stock of himself and he found that the missile that hit him was nothing else but a condom (a used one) and all its contents had smeared over Santa's face..furious with this insu lt, Santa calculated and guessed the direction from which the missile had been h urled..and he found that it was none other than Mr. Bhatias' 2 storeyed kothi an d the missile had been hurled from the upper deck of the kothi so he rang the do or bell of the Bhatias' and none other than Mr. Bhatia himself opened the door S anta immediately asked him.."who is up there in your house?????".. "It's my wife on the first floor!!!! Why???" Bhatia replied.. Santa ran a glance up and down on Bhatia and felt that it cannot be Bhatia as he didn t seem to have worked out ( u know what I mean) so he asked " who is on the second floor????".. "My daughter !!why??" Bhatia enquired. Santa roared again " who is with your daughter up ther e?". "she is with my TO BE son-in-law Why??".said Bhatia, now impatient Santa th ought for a moment and then in a very furious tone showed Bhatia the condom and said .." look what your TO BE son-in-law has done!!!!!!.he has just thrown your TO BE GRANDSON out -=-=-=-=-=After making a trip of South India , Santa Singh ,his wife and his son were retu rning to punjab in Tamilnadu Express. Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Si ngh to bring him a cup of Ice cream to which Santa readily agreed. When Santa an d his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand hindi had occupied his son's birth . Outraged, Santa Singh called the TT and asked him to help. TT requested that he could not understand Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santa Singh explained the whole situation to him in English. Santa Si ngh explained , " That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child." -=-=-=-=-=There were 2 surd, both of them were good hunters, one of them Mr.Daka Singh kil led only lions & tigers, and one Mr. Laka Singh killed only deers. Once they bot h met. Laka Singh asked Daka Singh how is that you only kill lions & tigers and I kill only deers. Tell me the trick. He told him just go to a cave and imitate the noise of a sheep the lion comes out of the cave and shoot him then that quit e easy. After 2 months daka singh got the news that Laka Singh was in the hospit al on questioning him he exclaimed I did the same thing you told me. I just outs ide a big cave and imitated the noise of a sheep but I did not know that deccan queen was coming out from the cave. -=-=-=-=-=-

BEPPO SINGH QUEUING BEHIND HIS FRIEND AT AN ATM MACHINE. Friend: What are you looking at? Beppo Singh: I know your PIN no., hee, hee. Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it? Beppo Singh: four asterisks! -=-=-=-=-=BEPPO SINGH WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL. Teacher: What is 5 plus 4? Beppo Singh: 9 Teacher: What is 4 plus 5? Beppo Singh: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answ er is 6!! -=-=-=-=-=BEPPO SINGH'S MOTHER DIED. Beppo Singh: (crying) the doctor called, my mother is dead. Friend: condolence, my friend. After 2 minutes Beppo Singh cries even louder Friend: what now? Beppo Singh: my sister just called, her mother died too! -=-=-=-=-=BEPPO SINGH NEEDS VITAMINS FOR GRANDSON. Beppo Singh: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson. Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C? Beppo Singh: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!! -=-=-=-=-=* BEPPO SINGH STUCK ON THE ELEVATOR. Lotta Singh: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs. because of a power failure. Beppo Singh: Thats alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs. -=-=-=-=-=Jasmeet Kaur watched her husband Santa Singh searching high and low, all over th e living room. She asked him: "What are you so frantically searching?" Santa: "H idden cameras!" Jasmeet: "And what makes you think there are hidden cameras here ?" Santa: "Or else, every few minutes, how is that guy on television saying ...' You are watching the Star World channel'? "How can he know what I am watching?" -=-=-=-=-=One day sardarji was sitting in his office on the thirteenth floor of a building when a man came running in to his office and shouted "Santa singh your daughter Preeto just died in an accident" Sardarji was in panic.Not knowing what to do h e jumped from his office window while coming down when he was near the tenth flo or he remembered he didn't have a daughter named preeto. When he was near the fi fth floor he remembered he was not married.When he was about to hit the ground h e remembered he was not Santa Singh. -=-=-=-=-=* Santa and Banta now live in different cities. Once when Santa visits Banta's cit y he phones him and asks him to come see him at his hotel ... Room # 446. Banta

is Excited and makes his way across town to see his long time friend. On reachin g the Hotel all he can remember of the Room # is that it ends with a 46. He spea ks to the Lobby Manager who tells him that were five floors in the Hotel and he could check them all for numbers ending with 46 (146,246,346 etc). Banta goes to the first floor-- room no.146 opens the door and sees that a couple are making love, he quickly shuts the door and runs to the second floor. He now goes to roo m no. 246 and opens the door -- he gets surprised to see two gays making love. H e runs to the third floor now to room no. 346 and opens the door. As soon as he opens the door he gets very embarassed to see two women makin love, so now he ru ns to the fourth floor. When he opens the door of room no. 446 he gets satisfied to see Santa sitting there who also looks very satisfied. Banta "Oye aj taan ka maal ho gaya" ?? Santa "kee hoya bhayee" ?? Banta "Oye main room no. bhul gaya s ee te main 146 ich gaya Uthhay He aur She lagay hoy see ... Udday baad main 246 gaya Uthhay He aur He lagay oye see ... Phir main 346 paunchya uthhay She aur Sh e lagay oye see". Santa "Achha, chal changa oya toon panj minute pehlaan nahee a ayaa". Banta "Kyoon"? Santa "Kyonke ... ithhay Me aur Me lagay hoye see". -=-=-=-=-=* A Sardar buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Delhi to claim it and th e man verifies his ticket number. The Sardar says, "I want my 20 lakhs." The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you one lakh today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 weeks." The Sardar said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it. " Again, the man explained that he would only get a lakh that day and the rest dur ing the next 19 weeks. The Sardar, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my 20 lakhs right now, then I want my five rupees back!" -=-=-=-=-=* A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I borrowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I've ever read. There was no story whatso ever, and there were far too many characters!" The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who took our phone book." -=-=-=-=-=Their was a sardar who wanted to send shoes abroad in the fastest way,bright ide a struck him,he tied the pair of shoes to the TELEPHONE POLE, thinking that his son would receive the them very fast.Next morning he went to see the shoes ,he f ound an old pair of shoes,his happiness knew no bounds and he said 'Oh my son ha s received the new pair & send the old pair, what a fast mean of sending' -=-=-=-=-=Once a sardar and his wife are walking on the road. Suddenly a crow flying above them shits on the Sardar`s shoulders. His wife goes and gets a paper napkin for him.the surd tells him its of no use now, the crow has vanished. -=-=-=-=-=* Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a Sardarji, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each applicant just o ne question and base his decision upon that answer. When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?". The Jewish m an answered without hesitation "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him an d he left. When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the s

ame question. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanke d the man who then left. Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview, he was asked the same question. He thought for a long time, before saying, "Could I hav e some time to think about it?" The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tomorrow ." When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked "How was the interview ?". Pat came the reply, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder. -=-=-=-=-=These days sardar does'nt sleeps with his wife because he says it is wrong to sl eep with a married woman -=-=-=-=-=* Three sardarji's were fast approching long distance leaving train, two of them g ot into the train & third one remain on the platform, suddenly he started crying , people around when asked him the reason for crying, he mention that two of my freinds got into the train leaving me on the plateform. Everybody advised him to take it easy & look for the next train. suddenly sardarji started laughing loud ly, when people ask him with surprise he mention that actually i was suppose to go in that train, my other two freinds had come to see off me. -=-=-=-=-=After making a trip of South India , Santa Singh ,his wife and his son were retu rning to punjab in Tamilnadu Express. Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Si ngh to bring him a cup of Ice cream to which Santa readily agreed. When Santa an d his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand hindi had occupied his son's birth . Outraged, Santa Singh called the TT and asked him to help. TT requested that he could not understand Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santa Singh explained the whole situation to him in English. Santa Si ngh explained , " That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child." -=-=-=-=-=There were 2 surd, both of them were good hunters, one of them Mr.Daka Singh kil led only lions & tigers, and one Mr. Laka Singh killed only deers. Once they bot h met. Laka Singh asked Daka Singh how is that you only kill lions & tigers and I kill only deers. Tell me the trick. He told him just go to a cave and imitate the noise of a sheep the lion comes out of the cave and shoot him then that quit e easy. After 2 months daka singh got the news that Laka Singh was in the hospit al on questioning him he exclaimed I did the same thing you told me. I just outs ide a big cave and imitated the noise of a sheep but I did not know that deccan queen was coming out from the cave. -=-=-=-=-=BEPPO SINGH QUEUING BEHIND HIS FRIEND AT AN ATM MACHINE. Friend: What are you looking at? Beppo Singh: I know your PIN no., hee, hee. Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it? Beppo Singh: four asterisks! -=-=-=-=-=BEPPO SINGH WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL.

Teacher: What is 5 plus 4? Beppo Singh: 9 Teacher: What is 4 plus 5? Beppo Singh: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answ er is 6!! -=-=-=-=-=BEPPO SINGH'S MOTHER DIED. Beppo Singh: (crying) the doctor called, my mother is dead. Friend: condolence, my friend. After 2 minutes Beppo Singh cries even louder Friend: what now? Beppo Singh: my sister just called, her mother died too! -=-=-=-=-=BEPPO SINGH NEEDS VITAMINS FOR GRANDSON. Beppo Singh: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson. Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C? Beppo Singh: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!! -=-=-=-=-=BEPPO Lotta power Beppo SINGH STUCK ON THE ELEVATOR. Singh: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs. because of a failure. Singh: Thats alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.

-=-=-=-=-=Jasmeet Kaur watched her husband Santa Singh searching high and low, all over th e living room. She asked him: "What are you so frantically searching?" Santa: "H idden cameras!" Jasmeet: "And what makes you think there are hidden cameras here ?" Santa: "Or else, every few minutes, how is that guy on television saying ...' You are watching the Star World channel'? "How can he know what I am watching?" -=-=-=-=-=One day sardarji was sitting in his office on the thirteenth floor of a building when a man came running in to his office and shouted "Santa singh your daughter Preeto just died in an accident" Sardarji was in panic.Not knowing what to do h e jumped from his office window while coming down when he was near the tenth flo or he remembered he didn't have a daughter named preeto. When he was near the fi fth floor he remembered he was not married.When he was about to hit the ground h e remembered he was not Santa Singh. -=-=-=-=-=Santa and Banta now live in different cities. Once when Santa visits Banta's cit y he phones him and asks him to come see him at his hotel ... Room # 446. Banta is Excited and makes his way across town to see his long time friend. On reachin g the Hotel all he can remember of the Room # is that it ends with a 46. He spea ks to the Lobby Manager who tells him that were five floors in the Hotel and he could check them all for numbers ending with 46 (146,246,346 etc). Banta goes to the first floor-- room no.146 opens the door and sees that a couple are making love, he quickly shuts the door and runs to the second floor. He now goes to roo m no. 246 and opens the door -- he gets surprised to see two gays making love. H e runs to the third floor now to room no. 346 and opens the door. As soon as he opens the door he gets very embarassed to see two women makin love, so now he ru

ns to the fourth floor. When he opens the door of room no. 446 he gets satisfied to see Santa sitting there who also looks very satisfied. Banta "Oye aj taan ka maal ho gaya" ?? Santa "kee hoya bhayee" ?? Banta "Oye main room no. bhul gaya s ee te main 146 ich gaya Uthhay He aur She lagay hoy see ... Udday baad main 246 gaya Uthhay He aur He lagay oye see ... Phir main 346 paunchya uthhay She aur Sh e lagay oye see". Santa "Achha, chal changa oya toon panj minute pehlaan nahee a ayaa". Banta "Kyoon"? Santa "Kyonke ... ithhay Me aur Me lagay hoye see". -=-=-=-=-=A Sardar buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Delhi to claim it and th e man verifies his ticket number. The Sardar says, "I want my 20 lakhs." The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you one lakh today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 weeks." The Sardar said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it. " Again, the man explained that he would only get a lakh that day and the rest dur ing the next 19 weeks. The Sardar, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my 20 lakhs right now, then I want my five rupees back!" -=-=-=-=-=A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I borrowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I've ever read. There was no story whatso ever, and there were far too many characters!" The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who took our phone book." -=-=-=-=-=Their was a sardar who wanted to send shoes abroad in the fastest way,bright ide a struck him,he tied the pair of shoes to the TELEPHONE POLE, thinking that his son would receive the them very fast.Next morning he went to see the shoes ,he f ound an old pair of shoes,his happiness knew no bounds and he said 'Oh my son ha s received the new pair & send the old pair, what a fast mean of sending' -=-=-=-=-=Once a sardar and his wife are walking on the road. Suddenly a crow flying above them shits on the Sardar`s shoulders. His wife goes and gets a paper napkin for him.the surd tells him its of no use now, the crow has vanished. -=-=-=-=-=Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a Sardarji, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each applicant just o ne question and base his decision upon that answer. When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?". The Jewish m an answered without hesitation "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him an d he left. When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the s ame question. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanke d the man who then left. Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview, he was asked the same question. He thought for a long time, before saying, "Could I hav e some time to think about it?" The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tomorrow ." When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked "How was the interview ?". Pat came the reply, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder. -=-=-=-=-=-

These days sardar does'nt sleeps with his wife because he says it is wrong to sl eep with a married woman -=-=-=-=-=Three sardarji's were fast approching long distance leaving train, two of them g ot into the train & third one remain on the platform, suddenly he started crying , people around when asked him the reason for crying, he mention that two of my freinds got into the train leaving me on the plateform. Everybody advised him to take it easy & look for the next train. suddenly sardarji started laughing loud ly, when people ask him with surprise he mention that actually i was suppose to go in that train, my other two freinds had come to see off me. -=-=-=-=-=-