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VOLUME TWO

ISSUE T WO

Yo u r Ta x e s a t P l a y | 7 D a y L i v e M u s i c G u i d e | A s k a M e x i c a n

table
PHOTO CREDITS Last Word: Lev Radin / Shutterstock.com

of

contents

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1st Word

LUNCH! NOW OPEN FOR Sunday ay &

Friday, Saturd

Sloppin the trough with the Hotel Occupancy Tax.

Beverly wants you to change her name to something more appropriate.

Citizen Dog

Citizen on Tour Corrections

5
Your One-Stop Destination

STAFF / CONTACT Publisher/Editor-in-Chief Mike Reynolds Director of Distribution Chase Cochran Art Director Kayla Wallace Sales Reps Chant Mazy Editorial: news@txcitizen.com Advertising: sales@txcitizen.com Distribution: distribution@txcitizen.com

Gene and Lynda went to SoCal, and all we got was this rockin photo! Even we make mistakes.

The Beer Hunter

When Mitchell drinks, we all learn something.

Citizen Soundcheck
The ONLY guide of its kind for the NB/SM Metroplex!

House Brews, Full Bar and Beer Inspired Menu

One copy (per person) of TX Citizen is available free of charge, with the prior written consent of TX Citizen required to remove multiple copies from distribution points. Multiple copies and back issues are available at TX Citizen offices for $2.50 each.

Look mom! Daddys in the paper! Gustavo of fends in two languages.

The Countys Most Wanted

Ask a Mexican

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Located in the heart of downtown New Braunfels, the Historic Faust Hotel & Brewing Company is a onestop destination offering a variety of House Brews, Full Bar and Tapas-Style Menu, and Redesigned Guestrooms, Suites, and Event Center, which feature 1920s Art Deco design while incorporating modern amenities.

Advice from Uncle Esel

Got a problem? You will.

Best of the Wurst

Nominations are OPEN!

All original content is copyright TX Citizen. TX Citizen is published every Thursday.

Himmel, Ink

On why journalism sucks.

TX CITIZEN 1111 N. Walnut Avenue New Braunfels, TX 78130 830.221.0593

Your Horoscope,
Last Word

Featuring the Heavenly Bodies

Dont make a move without it.

14

Open at 4pm Mon-Thurs & 12pm Fri-Sun

240 South Seguin Ave. | Downtown New Braunfels (830) 625-7791 | www.FaustBrewing.Co
Find us

Colby gives gun control advocates reason to think a second time, for the third time in a row.

TX CITIZEN

Alright boys and girls, today were going to learn about Open Records Requests, government transparency, and

1 WORD
ST
Fun with the Hotel Occupancy Tax (HOT)

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MIKE REYNOLDS

WITH

See,

Id

wager

that

most

Texans, (outside of Austin), are against government funding of any other form of welfare. Lets face it, Andres Serrano wasnt going to get much private cash to

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the infamous Hotel Occupancy Tax. Not in that order. Part I: The HOT The Hotel Occupancy Tax, (HOT), is an additional tax levied against visitors to our fair city every time they stay at a hotel, or other such accommodation, and is earmarked to put heads in beds, as the Citys leadership puts it. On the surface its a grand thing the City raises money from Hotel Guest A to help bring in Hotel Guests B, C, and D, and does it without placing any financial burden on local taxpayers. Deeper down, however, one must keep in mind that every dollar a visitor pays in taxes is a buck thats been taken off the table, so to speak once the City has it, the tourist cant spend it with a local merchant. This is why taxation in general is a tricky thing it pulls money out of play. Anyway, once the City has the money, its supposed to be spent, according to the Great State of Texas, to promote tourism and the convention and hotel industry within very specific limits. That per Subchapter B, Sec. 351.101 (a), of the Texas Municipal Tax Code. Those limits are: Running a convention or visitors center. Registering convention delegates or attendees. Advertising to bring in tourists and conventions. Historical restoration or getting tourists to look at historical restoration. Some sports and recreation related stuff. Tourist signage. Arts support. And this is where it gets murky. TXCITIZEN.COM

photograph that crucifix submerged in a jar full of his urine, so he got himself a government handout. Nobody really wanted to see Robert Mapplethorpe do that thing with the bullwhip, so the taxpayers picked up the bill. After those fiascos, conservatives became rightly miffed that their money was being used to finance these kinds of projects. But thats the thing when you use public money for art all kinds of artists get to use it, and not just for stuff you like. The Garrison Keillors and Bullwhip Mapplethorpes alike have their hands out for that sweet public cash. In any case, while Texan conservatives correctly oppose taxpayer funding of the arts and welfare in general, fewer of them oppose taxpayer funding of tourism. After all, were bringing business into town, and most people are good with that. But what if we werent bringing business into town? What if the revenue derived from the tax wasnt expended in a manner directly enhancing and promoting tourism and the convention and hotel industry per Subchapter B, Sec. 351.101 (b), of the Texas Municipal Tax Code? Then we got a problem, Chico. So we decided to get hold of the HOT records so we could, you know, just have a peek in there to make sure everything was on the up and up. And wouldnt you know it, getting copies of those receipts turned out to be much harder than one would expect, especially from a city government that got an award for transparency just last year.
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Continued on next page.

Call 1-888-643-0888

Continued from previous page. Part II: The Request A couple weeks back, the TX Citizens own Chase Cochran requested the following from the City Secretarys office: A copy of the receipts/proofs of expenditures provided back to the City of New Braunfels, The Greater New Braunfels Chamber of Commerce and/or the New Braunfels IDC from the recipients of Hotel Occupancy Tax (HOT) funds for fiscal years 2010-2011 & 2011-2012 showing where/ how/why the money given to the following entities was spent, as they are required to provide this information. Chase then received a bill, stating that if he indeed wanted the information noted above, it was going to cost him $469, and could take up to ten business days to compile. Since were not made of money over here, Chase posted the bill, along with his dilemma, on our Facebook page at facebook.com/ txcitizen, and rallied support from various TX Citizen fans. Those fans put their money where their mouth(s) is/are/was/were, and in just a couple days time, Chase had the cash in hand, and he dropped it off at City Hall. After nine of the ten business days had passed, Chase emailed City Hall, asking for the time that the records would be ready the following day. What he got back was this: This communication is in response to your open records request (No. 2012-493) received on December 4, 2012, regarding HOT Fund Expense Reporting. We have determined that actual charges will exceed the previously agreed-upon charge of $469.00 by more than twenty percent. Therefore, as required by section 552.2615(c) of the Texas Government Code, we are providing you with this revised cost estimate: Itemized List of Charges: Description Qty x Price Total CD 1 x $1.00 = $1.00 Labor ($15/hour) 39 x $15 = $585.00 Overhead charges 20% of $585.00 = $117.00 Total cost = $ 703.00 Cost for additional information $703.00 $469.00 = $234.00

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In other words, Youre not getting everything unless you cough up fiddy percent mo money. Now that just didnt seem fair. I mean, every time Ive ever screwed up an estimate Ive had to eat the difference. It just didnt seem right that City Hall would wait until the last minute to inform a citizen that said citizen would have to come up with 50% more money simply because the City itself had made a mistake. What if you had bought and paid for a house only to have the builder demand 50% more money before hed let you use the kitchen? It seemed to us that the right thing to do was complete the job for the contracted amount. Hmm. In the case of the house one might think that the builder didnt want you to move in for some reason. Chase asked what it was he wouldnt be getting, and as it turned out, he wouldnt be getting any of the paperwork dealing with the Chamber of Commerce. He could have everything except the Chamber info for the original $469. Use of the kitchen was going to cost him another $234. Somebody said one of the following two things: Whoa there pardner! We underbid! That $234 mistake is going to bankrupt the City! Wed better break our contract at the last minute to protect the taxpayers! Whoa there pardner! We underbid! We didnt think hed actually come up with the money! Better raise the price at the last minute to protect (BLANK)!

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Barbershop Harmony Society: $6,422.25 Brauntex Performing Arts Theater: $38,929.25 Circle Arts Theater Inc: $32,319.25 Compania De Danza Folklorica Inc: $3,877.00 Greater NB Chamber of Commerce: $1,527,110.41 WTF Greater New Braunfels Arts Council: $6,765.25 Heritage Society of New Braunfels: $55,797.00 Mid-Texas Symphony Inc: $28,168.50 New Braunfels Art League: $18,590.00 New Braunfels Community Chorale: $3,800.00 New Braunfels Conservation Society: $43,115.25 New Braunfels Historic Museum Assoc: $14,118.00 New Braunfels Historic RR: $26,971.75 New Braunfels Main Street Partners: $10,980.75 New Braunfels Theatre Company: $31,133.50 Outdoor Gallery of Arts NB Inc (Murals): $28,514.25 Sophienburg Museum and Archives: $57,498.00 Total payouts for 2012: 1,934,110.41

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Either way, it worked. For a minute. There was screaming and yelling and swearing and Part IV: Were So Screwed gnashing of teeth, mostly on the part of your A) Accounting Integrity: Ok, so heres humble columnist. Then Chase went back to how the money is supposed to be handled. Facebook and immediately raised another Per Subchapter B, Sec. 351.101 (c), of the Texas Municipal Tax Code, the money is not to $234. Uh oh. be comingled with other funds. The person in charge of the groups HOT cash must maintain Part III: The Take it in a separate account established for Once we got into the meat and taters of that purpose and may not comingle that the accounting, one thing became abundantly revenue with any other money. That means clear: Neither the people handing out the that HOT funded expenses must be paid for money nor those accepting it seem to consider from that account. Which raises the question themselves bound by the law. Which is nothing of why the Sophienburg Museum transferred new in Texas Most Corrupt City . $45,5578.54 out of its HOT account and into First off, lets have a look at which arts groups its own general fund last year. But Im sure get the money, according to the City. Here they thats nothing to be concerned about. A little are, along with their 2012 HOT fund totals: hiccup, if you will. TX CITIZEN

Wow. Thats a lot of welfare. Good thing all that money is being spent to bring overnight guests into town or wed be screwed.

Per the information the City provided, The Barbershop Chorus keeps all of its money in a single account, so theres no telling which money is spent on what. While the members and their wives did take a $2,190 trip to Dallas for a competition, its entirely possible that those funds came from a perfectly legitimate source. Theres just no way for us to tell. You know, because of the comingling and such.

have no idea where that is targeted. Could be a good idea if the addressees are in Houston or Dallas. Not so great if theyre in Seguin or Canyon Lake.

C) Carrying a Balance: None of the groups are supposed to be carrying a balance of HOT funds from year to year, because HOT funds are to be requested for specific things if theres money left over, it means they over B) Purpose of Funds: Lets keep in mind requested and got the cash that somebody that the HOT funds are meant to bring in out of else could have used to actually bring in some town business. Which brings us to marketing. tourists. But thats how its supposed to be Heres where HOT fund recipients are spending done, and this is New Braunfels - Texas Most the lions share of their advertising dollars: Corrupt City , so most of them are going ahead and doing it anyway. Its a-ok with the Local Buys: City. Some examples include: KGNB Radio The Herald-Zeitung Newspaper New Braunfels Historic Museum Assoc: The New Braunfelser (Formerly Prosit) $10,735.61 Taste of NB Sophienburg Museum and Archives: Chamber of Commerce Directory $12,608.86 Regional Buys: Traveling Blender Travel Host Unknown Targets: Direct Mail

Dog
is a super sweet one-year-old Terrier Mix. Shes SO FLUFFY!

Beverly

This is important: Anyone still listening to KGNB, reading the Herald, or perusing the Chamber directory ALREADY LIVES HERE. Anyone reading The New Braunfelser or Taste of NB picked it up at the hotel theyve likely g already checked into. Potential overnight t guests live outside of the area, where the local media have zero coverage/distribution. Hmm. Thats odd. After reviewing the sabove media list a third and fourth time, it doesnt seem like any of that money was spent with the TX Citizen, although we were asked to provide free promotion for many HOT funded events. Well, that gravy train ends right now. Contact us for our new policy, youre going to love it! And hey, at least we now know why the other local news organizations have never looked into this story. Mystery solved. To their credit, the New Braunfels Art League finishes first when it comes to properly advertising outside of the market, albeit o nearby, with heavy buys in both Travel Host and Traveling Blender magazines. Everybody else kept it real local. As for direct mail, we TXCITIZEN.COM

TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM Well, thats it for now. In the next issue TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM well have a look at what the Chamber of TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM Commerce does with that $1.5 million in HOT TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM funds that they haul in every year, assuming TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM the City comes up with the $234 paperwork TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM before then. See you next week. TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM \m/ TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.C TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM Mike Reynolds TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM Publisher/Editor-in-Chief TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.C TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM

Mid-Texas Symphony Inc: $14,366.37 New Braunfels Conservation Society: Visit the New Braunfels Humane Society at 1920 Kuehler Ave. $17,219.54 For more information, call 830-629-5287. Brauntex Performing Arts Theater: TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM $18,329.04 TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM Outdoor Gallery of Arts NB Inc (Murals): TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.C $22,304.33 TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM Heritage Society of New Braunfels: TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM $34,713.61

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CORRECTIONS
In last weeks issue we improperly labeled one photograph and incorrectly captioned another. While neither error matches the infamous Sandusky fiasco that Texas Monthly magazine caught in the Houston-owned Herald-Zeitung, we believe that mistakes, however insignificant, should be corrected. In the interest of accuracy, please accept our mea culpa for the following:

TX Citizen fans Gene and Lynda went to San Diego for Christmas, and took us along with them! No word yet on how many people returned to New Braunfels inside of Gene's suitcase.

a b a a a a t We incorrectly identified a New f Braunfels Fire Department ambulance as a i t fire truck, when it clearly was not. l l g o w p

www.NBSTREETS.com
We dig so you dont have to.

Smoke free lounge upstairs! Specializing in Belgium Beers 100 Import Beers 24 Beers on Tap Live Entertainment Full Bar Pool Tables Darts
In the Last Word column about gun control, we printed a photo of a knife with the caption Its Australian for knife, when in fact it should have read, Its Australian for gun. And in case you missed the Texas Monthly piece mocking the Houston-owned Herald-Zeitung, here it is again. Enjoy.
Its Australian for knife. Its Australian for gun.

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THE

WITH MITCHELL WILBURN

that comes high in ounces and ABV, this is an ESB style: Extra Special/Strong Bitter. It makes you feel like youre drinking from some kind of industrial chemical container that would melt through plastic. Unfortunately, it doesnt taste very good! Get it together Australia. In my opinion, only good for convincing ladies your fake accent is real, and you totally are from Australia City, DOWN UNDAH. Genesee Cream Ale A beer as British as sideburns and eel pie, this budget beer is a sweet and easy to drink favorite of the various bums and street people of England. One pink (?) picture of the queen will buy you about eight of these with enough left over to buy something fried. Luckily they are so drinkable that you can supp down them all before someone makes a goal on the tellys football match and asks u avin a giggle m8? Its a little hard to drink from, but not impossible to do while walking. Doesnt exactly fit in a coat pocket, but can easily be disguised as some kind of massive section of pipe or American-sized soda. But heres where the kicker lies: it doesnt taste awful! In fact, this one is quite interesting. Its a blend of a porter and a bock, but is sometimes listed as a Black and Tan. The shelf tag said brown ale, but who gives a heck: it tastes good... ish. Its got a good sweet malt, nice and nutty, with some dark fruit in there too. Theres an herbal hint of hops, Cold Spring Moonlight Ale but not nearly enough to balance. If we are to If it wasnt totally boring to make all sorts judge this as a craft beer, it would pretty much of categories and point systems and such, Id suck. However, against almost the entirety of give this one full marks in this bizarre side- bum-fuel that usually makes up big cans, this is show circus of competition. First thing youll head and shoulders above the bunch. notice is that this can is about the size of a football. It carries two pints, which in general Mitchell Wilburn is our resident bon vivant and arbiter of all things is the best amount to drink. Theres where the barley. Send your beer questions to him at hops@txcitizen.com. fun meets functional. Hurricane High Gravity Lager [CONSUMER WARNING] Im not sure what it is about this particular can of nearly 9% ABV mixture, but its potent. Id say this is the highest on the likely to be thrown at a cop scale, because something about it acts more like a truth serum and lobotomy. Youll be singing, dancing, passing out, and waking up with a headache all within the space of an hour. Unless youre looking for a particularly weird night, steer clear.
ME?

Big Can Roundup Now, if you spent your New Years Eve at all like I did, then you needed a special brew to celebrate with. Said brew requires a special blend of portability, potence, size, and a non-breakable container, but still carries a higher-than-zero chance that youll wrestle a cop for it. If you want to add your set of teeth-prints to the ratty wooden rod those ninefoot tall horse/police hybrids carry around, itll take some planning ahead. Ive contacted the top experts in this field (mostly out of work laborers, teenage crust-punks, and a man who lives in the park named Squirrel Master) to give you the top picks in this arena. On top of that, youll get one [CONSUMER ALERT] warning on what to steer clear from, with a personal anecdote by yours truly. Fosters Premium Ale Oil Can More interesting than your average beer

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Thu 1.10
Adobe Verde
Ross Brunner 8pm

Fri 1.11
Adobe Verde
Colt Landon Baker 8pm

Triple Crown
ashleigh stone, Broken Umbrella Academy, Rosco Bandana 10pm, $5

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

Slim Bawb 1pm Fond Kiser Band 6pm

AJs Ale House

Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show 9pm

AJs Ale House

Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show 9pm

Uptown Piano Bar

Barry Adams 8pm

Phoenix Saloon
Bryan Boyce Band 9pm

Black & Tan Pub

Mark Sebby 8pm

Black & Tan Pub

Cygon 8pm

Vino en Verde
Riversyde 8pm

Rileys Tavern
Scott H Biram 9pm

Black Whale Pub

3 Man Front 9pm

Black Whale Pub

TBA 9pm

Vineyard at Gruene
Ryan Waguespack 7pm

River Road Ice House

Pitchfork 8pm

Cheatham Street Warehouse

Good Girls with Bad Intentions Lisa Morales, Shelley King, Robyn Ludwick, Miss Leslie 9pm, $8

Cheatham Street Warehouse

Carolyn Wonderland 9pm, $15

Sat 1.12
Adobe Verde
The Knowhow 8pm

Texas Music Theater

Welcome Back to Campus! Granger Smith 8pm

Gruene Hall
The Whiskey Sisters 7pm

Triple Crown
Giant Salvinia, Ethereal Architect, Knael 10pm, $5

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

Jam Night w/ The Kinfolk 6pm

AJs Ale House

Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show 9pm

The Happy Cow

AC & The Bad Billys 8pm

Uptown Piano Bar

John Maclean 8pm

On The Half Shell Oyster Bar

Junior Nash 9pm

Black & Tan Pub

Various Artists 8pm

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

In the Underground: Susan Gibson 7pm, $20

Vino en Verde
Sweet Sauce 9pm

Phoenix Saloon
Steven Vee 5pm

Black Whale Pub

Adam Johnson and the Paymees 9pm

On The Half Shell Oyster Bar

Josh Holden 9pm

Vineyard at Gruene
Tony Taylor 7pm

Rileys Tavern
Samantha Lynn & The Love Liberation Army 9pm

Cheatham Street Warehouse

The Damn Quails w/ Seth Candan 9pm, $8

Phoenix Saloon
Lucas Taylor 5pm Benefit for Bekka Palmer 8pm

Sun 1.13
Adobe Verde
Allan Goodman 8pm

Triple Crown
Beth Lee 6pm The Sonomatics, Garrett T Capps, Jack Ruby 10pm, $5

Gruene Hall
Hot Texas Swing Band 1pm Kyle Park w/ Brison Bursey 9pm, $15

Billys Ice House

April Hall Band 8:30pm

Rileys Tavern
Andrea Marie & The Magnolia Band 9pm

Gruene Hall
Bret Graham 12pm Warren Hood & The Goods 4:30pm

Uptown Piano Bar

Ashley Stone 8pm

River Road Ice House

Bubba Westly & The Interstate Heartbreak 8pm

The Happy Cow

Slim Bawb 8pm

TX CITIZEN

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Fri 1.11
Antones
Micky & the Motorcars w/ The Damn Quails 8pm, $12-$100

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

The Bigsbys 2pm In the Underground: Susan Gibson Matinee Show, 3pm, $15

Rileys Tavern
Steven Roloff 9pm

Sat 1.12
The Continental Club
Club Lineup: Redd Volkart, 3:30pm Derailers, 10pm Bellfuries, 12am Gallery Lineup: Scarlett Olson, 8:30pm The Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30, $5

River Road Ice House

Wes Nickson 8pm

Phoenix Saloon
The Al Barlow Show 2pm TBA 7pm

Tavern in the Gruene

Roots & Branches of Americana 7pm The Blooms 9:30pm

The Continental Club

Club Lineup: The Blues Specialists, 6:30pm Mike & the Moonpies, 10pm Warren Hood, 11:30pm Gallery Lineup: The Robert Kraft Trio, 8:30pm The Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5

Floores Country Store

Johnny Cooper w/ Kyle Bennett Band 9pm, $10

Mon 1.14
Cheatham Street Warehouse
En Route 9pm

Triple Crown
Samantha Lynn 6pm The Sniffs, Fine Fellows 9pm, $5

Cowboys Dancehall
Aaron Watson 8pm, 21+ $10, 18-20 $20

Red Eyed Fly

Hustle Hard Mobb w/ Go Go Beats, The Var-City, A.C., J Ramsey 8:30pm, Outside

Gruene Hall
Rodney Hayden 6pm

Wed 1.16
Black & Tan Pub
Ken, LeAnn & Ashley Trio 9pm

Floores Country Store

Rockn H Band 8pm

River Road Ice House

Empty Handed Vagabonds 8pm

Sams Burger Joint

Age of Reason w/ Stoned Hollow, Freedom Level 8pm, $10

Red Eyed Fly

Laura Forster & the Severed Strings 10pm, Inside The Iron Hides w/ The Millipede, Pussy Factory, Bitter Heart Society, Arcadia Black 8:30pm, Outside

Tavern in the Gruene

Court Nance Accident 8pm

Cheatham Street Warehouse

Kent Finlays Songwriters Circle 9:30pm

Stetson Bar
Dave Jorgenson 9:30pm

Triple Crown
Aaron Stephens 6pm Chief & TheDoomsdayDevice 10pm, $5

Gruene Hall
Warren Hood & The Champeens 6pm

Stubbs BBQ
Dirty Wormz w/ Three33, Lovers & Fighters 9pm, Inside, $10

Sams Burger Joint

Grupo Fantasma 8pm, $15

Tues 1.15
Billys Ice House
Chris Edwards 8:00pm

River Road Ice House

The Southern Strangers, Roadside Libby 8pm

Stetson Bar
Chris Saucedo & New Age Outlawz 9:30pm

Thirsty Horse Saloon

Mario Flores & the Soda Creek Band 8pm

Triple Crown
Stevie Tombstone 6pm The Pistolsmiths, Emily Bell, The Hill Country Gentlemen 9pm, $5

Cheatham Street Warehouse

Will Arrington Band w/ Brett Hauser Band 9pm

Stubbs BBQ
Oak is Keeping w/ Paper Hotel, Modrag 9pm, Inside

Gruene Hall
Tommy Elskes & Danny Brooks 6pm

Uptown Piano Bar

John Maclean 8pm

Thirsty Horse Saloon

Chilton Vance Band 8pm

TXCITIZEN.COM

MOST WANTED
BENDER, SHERI MICHELLE (SMITH)
Female 504 180 lbs Female 508 200 lbs DOB: 08/16/1966 DOB: 10/22/1976 CHARGE: Violation of CHARGE: Failure to conditions of bond for appear for motion to possession of a revoke for theft of controlled substance firearm pg 1 under 1 gram

LAFLEUR, LISA

BUCKLEY, DEBRA KAY

Female 505 200 lbs Female 500 90 lbs DOB: 10/31/1963 DOB: 09/26/1988 CHARGE: Motion to CHARGE: Motion to revoke probation for proceed with adjudicapossession of a tion for possession of a controlled substance controlled substance pg 1 over 1 gram pg 2 under 1 gram under 4 grams

LAKATA, ARIEL MARIE

Dear Mexican: What is it about Mexicans and collecting old cars? I have three Mexican neighbors with middle-class incomes but in each case, when the old car or truck wouldnt run anymore, they would buy a nearly new replacement and then just let the old clunker sit in the driveway up close to the house or garage...for MONTHS! Hood up, radiator out on the ground, flat tires...etc. Flying with my Ford
Dear Gabacho: When my brother

became of age, I lectured him on the facts of life. No, not sex, as thats for him to discover with cousins of his age watching Tube8 on a laptop, (as opposed to my generation of cousins, whod watch pornos on scratchy VHS tapes while all our parents were gossiping during Carne Asada Sunday), but on what

DAPP, KENNETH

Male 600 175 lbs DOB: 02/07/1970 CHARGE: Motion to adjudicate for two counts of indecency with a child exposes

Female 508 190 lbs DOB: 05/17/1982 CHARGE: Courts motion to revoke for possession of a controlled substance pg 1 under 1 gram

NEAL, ASHLEY DIANNE

DELATOREE, MARGARET

Male 511 185 lbs Female 502 155 lbs DOB: 06/12/1984 DOB: 03/25/1982 CHARGE: Motion to revoke probation for CHARGE: Engaging in possession of a controlled organized criminal substance pg 1 under 1 activity and credit card gram/ bail jumping and or debit card abuse fail to appear

RHODES, JEREMIAH GLEN

same year), an ineffectual government, stuckwould make him a man: when he could afford up fresas who insist theres such a thing as a classic car. authentic Mexican foodweve become Just like our fathers and abuelitos in Mexico in its worst manifestations. la patria werent real men until they had a But is the American Dream done? Not beautiful horse to call their own, modern-day even close, as long as we have Mexicans Mexican males in the United States arent real and other immigrants who flee bad lives and hombres until they have enough disposable want to improve themselves in the country income to afford a classic car, be it a bomb taste, you know your way around an engine, and you have an investment you can sell in a second if you ever need bail money for some primo or other. We dont drive these oftenyou always need a dependable daily driver, as well but a classic ranfla is so much better than the latest Lexus or BMW that every gabacho douche buys for their bit of conspicuous consumption. A la chingada con stocks: nothing valuates better than a 59 Chevy Impala convertible that stays in the garage 360 days of the yearn and is equipped with an air raid siren, custom rims, and an Aztec maiden mural on the trunk. TX CITIZEN where its historically been possible. Thats migration from Mexico to the United States has been nearly zero for the past couple of years because of the Great Recessionbut the American Dream will live as long as we have someone crossing the desert in the middle of July, as long as we have fake passports, and as long as people willingly stuff themselves into cars for the opportunity to hear their gabacho bosses bitch about how horrible life is. or boat. It shows you have money, you have becoming harder and harder, of coursenet

-A R R ES T ED -

GLORIA, VANESSA ANN

RODRIGUEZ, JACOB GARCIA

$200 REWARD
10

Female 500 145 lbs Male 508 180 lbs DOB: 02/15/1983 DOB: 10/28/1976 CHARGE: Motion to CHARGE: Motion to adjudicate for revoke probation for possession of a possession of a controlled substance controlled substance pg 1 pg 1 under 1 gram under 1 gram
FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL COUNTYS MOST WANTED. Callers will remain anonymous.

830.620.3400 - 24-Hour 830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm

The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act Code 552.001 st.seq.annotated Public Record and Information disclosure statues. This is a true and accurate account as of Monday, January 07, 2013 at 11:15 am and may not be current by the time it is read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. For anonymous tips and rewards, please contact Crime Stoppers at: 24-Hour Phone number 830.620.3400; Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm 830.620.3411. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Sheriffs Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.

COMAL COUNTYS

ASK A MEXICAN!
By Gustavo Arellano

Dear Mexican: Heres my question. I hope you take me seriously...whats so great about the U.S.A? War, bad politicians, Social Security gone, stereotypes, drunk driving, gang wars, scary public schools, no respect for anybody who doesnt want to live the way they live. I know my family risked their lives so I could be born here, but I hate it. The jobs arent that great and theres crime everywhere. How is that any different from the Mexico they left? Is the American dream over? Pocho ready to go
Dear Pocho: As Ive written before, the United States basically is Mexico without Aztec pyramids at this point thanks to Republicans. Horrible violence, (14,043 murders in the U.S. In 2010, according to the Wall Street Journal, compared to the much-ballyhood narco-murder rate of 15,273 in Mexico that

Ask the Mexican at themexican@ askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or ask him a video question at youtube. com/askamexicano!

Dear Uncle Esel, I see temporary buildings all over town and I think they are downright dreadful. I even see them in church parking lots and in our schools. I can understand a temporary building or trailer when someone is building a new store or something like that, but why does our city allow so many ugly buildings to sit there? Thank You, Amanda

UNCLE ESEL

ADVICE FROM

Dear Amanda, You can blame City Council for all those buildings. Temporary buildings go before them for approval. Uncle Esel was told that sometimes at the end of the temporary approval period which is usually three years or more, the owners come back and ask for more and the buildings end up there for even longer. In the case of schools, the buildings can be in place for decades. In the ultimate hypocrisy, the city even approved itself a temporary building after severely criticizing itself for even asking itself to allow itself to put up that building. In the end the city made itself spend even more money on itself for its temporary building by making itself use an upgraded exterior for its building. Only then did they tell themselves it was okay. Of course, they have an especially hard time saying no to churches that want a temporary building. Perhaps they can ask NBU to assist them on saying no to those churches. To be fair, the city struggles just like the federal government. Its a common old joke in Capital circles that theres nothing in Washington as permanent as a temporary building. The Washington Post reports that the Pentagon has finally gotten around to removing a Navy annex that was built as a temporary building during WWII. Some seventy years later, it is being leveled and given to the Arlington National Cemetery to use as burial grounds. Love, K

Dear Secretive Bob, The Cyber Intelligence Sharing and Protection Act established an avenue where federal, state and local agencies as well as big companies that have large amounts of data on Americans and non-Americans can share and pool the information in order to gain intelligence on terrorists and those who would inflict great damage on our citizens and our country. In San Antonio, the National Security Agency or NSA built a super spy facility to add to the more than 2,000 employees that were already at Medina Base doing their spy stuff. One task of the NSA spook centers is to share info from agencies and big companies like Microsoft, AT&T, IBM, Verizon and, get this, Facebook. All this data is used to determine credible threats to the safety of the USA and utilized along with the ability to data mine emails, Internet traffic, and other communications. One key component of information sharing has been in place for years and processed millions of tips and is yet to yield one bit of useable information. All this wiretapping and spying is kind of Orwellian and has prompted some calls to limit and oversee it. You can bet your good eye on this: Whatever it is you want to keep from them, they already know it. And now, Uncle Esel wants to say hi to the NSA guy that is assigned to the TX Citizen. The roses in Constantinople are most red this year. Repeat, the roses in Constantinople are most red this year. That is all. Love, K

Esel, We loved to watch the nutria in the park, but last few times I went there I did not see it. We are wondering about the best way to have a nutria in our home. Thanks, Sophie
Dear Sophie, Uncle Esel really likes chili, but the most common nutria in the home is in gumbo. Enjoy it. Love, K

Dear Mr. Esel. I hear that the DHS spys on us and that they do it right here in San Antonio. Is there really a big spy facility so close to us and what are they looking for? Signing With an Alias, Bob
TXCITIZEN.COM

Uncle K. Esel is a lifetime resident of our fair city, and is well known for his sage advice on a wide range of topics. If you find yourself perplexed with no one to turn to, send your question to Uncle Esel at: askesel@TXCITIZEN. COM. Be sure to write Question for Uncle Esel in the subject line of your email.
11

ITS TIME!
INGESTION
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Nominations Now Open for the 2013 Best of the Wurst Awards Send yours to wurst@txcitizen.com Nominations Close at 5pm, January 15

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TX CITIZEN

HIMMEL, INK.
New Year, New You New Headline
isnt easy. I By David Himmel Writing know, Ive been doing my best to do at least a mediocre job of it for too long already. The one thing harder than writing stories in any form, is writing headlines. Trying to convey a complete summation in only a few I am often saddened by the diploma with the money. The ones that can afford the best writers and editors to create new ways of saying the same thing. Because, yeah, January reaffirms in all of us the desire to renew the way we live our lives. From the way we eat to the way we screw. So, yeah, its topical. But it is our job as the creatives, as the media, to develop innovation. If we cannot do that, we fail. I am the managing editor of a health would be for me to publish a story with words is tricky. But thats no excuse to be lazy. magazine. Do you know how easy it hanging on my wall that proves I earned a the headline, New Year, New You? But bachelors degree in journalism. Not because I havent, and I wont. Because I want my its taken me ten years to earn what it cost me to that degree from the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, or UNLVwhere the N stands for in journalism because journalism is a joke. It wasnt always this way. But it is the Murdoch Monopolies and the mail-itin partisan op-ed pages of nearly every remaining news paper in the nation, and the echolalia made by the cable news channel pundits and hosts, and the trite interest in cupcake shops and bacon infused whatevers found in alleged alternative magazines, and magazine to be better than that. Sure, the Google gods will direct the Internet nomads to my site because of my SEO those readers go somewhere else to get their fix of vanilla. I want to be better than assimilation and boredom. I already have an iPhone just like you. Enough is enough. Yes. Journalism is lazy. And it breaks my heart. Then today, the day that Marty McFly goes back to the future with Doc and Jennifer to save his kids, I saw a piece from New York Magazine that points out the hack go to school for four, and not because I earned sure I could publish a story like that and

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knowledge. I am often saddened by my degree savvy. But thats not the reader I want. Let

now. Journalism is lazy. Because beyond that. I dont want to get lost in the fray of

Its a Girl Thing, Boys Wouldnt Understand!

the increasing number Associated Press journalism from the once beloved Hill Valley bylines in so-called major newspapers Telegraph. I dont know how I didnt catch online and otherwiseevery January, far this schizophrenic editing before. Maybe too many news outlets use the headline, New Year, New You. NBC Dallas/Ft Worth did it. As did ABC Shreveport. And Menshealth.com. And Realsimple.com. And ABCnews.com. And Huffingtonpost.com. And thats the short list. There are major news outlets in that list. Big ones. The ones TXCITIZEN.COM Im too lazy So how about this Since its a new year, and everyone is pushing for a new you, why dont we try for a new headline. Its a

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Dear Capricorn, I hope you like feeding and caring for an absurd number of disgusting farm animals. That is a legitimate hope of mine, because, if you haven't noticed yet, several dozen goats are outside your home, or they will be very soon. Don't shoo them away - not unless you'd also like to shoo away the great fortune that will inevitably come your way if treat those goats right. Good luck! (By the way, Capricorn the fact that your financial future is tied to the well-being of a lot of goats is entirely coincidental. The astrological symbols really are meaningless themselves). Hey Capricorn, good news! You have a new man in your life. Whether you are a man or woman, straight or gay there is going to a new, totally jacked dude in your life, much like 1980's Arnold Schwarzenegger. Accent also? You bet! Yup, every Capricorn on planet earth is gaining a barely discernible garbled english speaking hulk to help them in there daily lives. Don't like the gym? Too bad! New ideas for diet? Who cares! Arny isn't listening to you, he's yelling at you. You do the listening and the changing. You will never be perfect physically, but you can compare yourself to someone who is on a daily basis now. You're welcome stars!

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TX CITIZEN

r a m T g

Last Word
With Kelly Colby
we want to keep guns out of the hands of criminals and madmen. It only seems logical that we should have a system that allows the government to keep track of guns. Because the demand is so reasonable, even many gun owners are prepared to accept it. The intrusion seems small after all, particularly when compared to the assumed benefits. The problem is that the reality of regulation, in any form, rarely meets with expectations, and gun registration is no exception. First and foremost, its important to remember that gun registration doesnt keep guns out of anyones hands. It only keeps track of gun owners. Fingerprinting seems equally useless to me Whether it was the papers intent or not, it certainly shows that such information can be used to invade the privacy of law abiding citizens and perhaps even harass them. Governor Andrew Cuomo of New York hit on another valuable use of gun registration: confiscation. This was something he suggested to the states legislature as one option in implementing new gun control measures. Confiscation of firearms that are banned is only possible when such weapons are tracked through registration. The registration of all guns in the United States, likewise, would provide a ready-made list of names and addresses for any future confiscation efforts.

Power Grab III: The Final Reckoning Ive spent the last two columns harping on the gun control issue, and I thought that I was ready to move on. One last aspect, though, still nags at me. So, at the risk of flinging decomposing chucks of equine flesh all over the place, once more unto the breach, my friends. In many areas of political discussion, its easy to engage in stereotyping. Partisan camps do it endlessly, and it usually devolves into sloganeering and name-calling that are of little value in changing peoples minds. Im as guilty as anyone in this regard. (Though, for me, its often difficult to be sure which side I will be on if any.) Its simply easier to take some issue and cast it in black and white, pro and con, for and against than it is to accept the myriad subtle shades of gray that there are in any disagreement. And, once the sides have been delineated, the name-calling is often just a shorthand way to identify your foe, (or yourself), while unfairly trying to sway opinion: birthers, teabaggers, statists, lefties, millionaires and billionaires, Randoids, gungrabbers the list goes on. Ive used lots of this shorthand in my both my personal life and my column, and because I am aware that they do little to move the ball, I generally try to use them in a broad sense so that no particular person is targeted. My use of the final epithet in the list last week was intended in just that broad sense, but it is worth noting that gun control is an issue like many others where people of good conscience can make poor choices, and these people are the very ones that should be singled out for persuasion, not derision. This notion of good intentions gone wrong is particularly clear in the attitudes we see with regards to gun registration laws, particularly in light of the events following Sandy Hook. Senator Feinstein of California has recently called for all guns to be registered and for their owners to be fingerprinted. To many, this will seem perfectly reasonable. Thats because, for most, the rationale behind gun registration is a noble one. Of course TXCITIZEN.COM

New York Governor and gun confiscation enthusiast Andrew Cuomo (center, creepy). More evidence that nothing good comes out of New York (except for our graphic designer).

without some other form of regulation to back it up. Registration and fingerprinting alone will do nothing to decrease crime or gun violence. And yet, we still see this as a cornerstone of all gun control legislation. Why is that? Well, it could have something to do with what gun registration is capable of. Since the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School, the Journal News has published the names and addresses of gun owners in two New York counties and has suggested that they may do the same with other counties. This information was available to them only because the government had already compiled the list for them with gun registration information.

The fact that gun registration offers no actual solutions on its own creates a stepping stone for other regulation that can be added on top of it, regulation designed specifically to restrict access to guns. The most obvious of these is background checks. Background checks are the only way to prevent the wrong people from being able to register guns. The current legislation is aimed at the criminals and madmen I mentioned before, but these efforts allow the government to take things further if they want to. What classes of criminals will lose their Second Amendment rights? Is a man convicted of wire fraud a danger? How about someone with a DUI? Should a conviction be necessary or should guns

be removed from people while they are on trial? How about while an investigation is ongoing? Restrictions for the mentally ill are equally fraught with the danger of this type of legislative creep. Beyond this are licensing laws, which allow the government to decide who is qualified to have a firearm. In almost all cases, licensing includes some test of competency or even a training course. This allows lawmakers to create requirements that go along with owning a weapon. Again, they are likely to start small, but once it has been accepted that the government has a right to decide whom can and who cannot own a gun based on some set of standards, there will be no need for the argument when the standards are changed. Simple changes to the requirements can create a de facto restriction. Recognize, too, that registration is a key component in the process of taxation and taxation is the power to destroy. Whether those taxes are applied at the point of sale or are designed to be collected on some recurring basis, the registration process is where government will get the ability (if not the authority) to do the taxing. Taxes can then be used to restrict the availability of firearms by pricing them out of reach. All of these are slippery slope arguments, but you cant just dismiss them because of that. While it is true that there are many people legitimately concerned about guns in this country who want none of these things, there are also people who want to use initial action to move forward. The slippery slope isnt slippery naturally; its slippery because someone at the top keeps pouring oil down the side. So, let me be clear: When I use a term like gun-grabbers, I dont mean to malign everyone. If you feel a sting, ask yourself if term is true of you. If your intent is not to take guns from law-abiding citizens, you are not the gun-grabber that Im railing at. But you might be helping them without knowing it.

You can read more from Kelly Colby at yourfirstshrug. blogspot.com.

15

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