November 6, 2012

Dear Mother, Glorfindel brought me the news of your death. I dont remember what the date was anymore. I remember that the sky was an absolute crystalline blue. I remember the look on his face when he knelt to tell me what had happened. I remember running. Running deep into the woods, leaning against a tree and biting my fist as the quiet sobs wracked forth. I remember not knowing why you insisted that we leave our home. I thought that I would never know.

Elrond told me my heritage when I came of age. I was twenty then, a mere child in his eyes. I was the heir to the throne of Gondor, he told me. I was the rightful ruler of the entire kingdom of men. You had brought me here to Rivendell to protect me from the watchful eye of Sauron. It was that journey that killed you. Elrond urged me to accept my heritage, take up the crown, honor your sacrifice. Im sorry, Naneth. I ran.

I ran from Rivendell and from all the terrible reminders of my destiny. At least, I thought I was running from them all. Despite my efforts I could never truly escape. Everywhere I went was evidence of the crumbling kingdom I was meant to fix. Saurons power, waxing in the east, wrought destruction upon all men across Middle Earth. Poverty, carnage, death. Everywhere I went I was reminded of my responsibility to fix them, for I alone held the blood of Isildur, he who cut the Ring from Saurons hand.

But then again, Naneth, that was also the reason I ran. The blood of great kings that runs in my veins is also the blood of a traitor. Isildur cut the ring from Saurons hand but he did not destroy it. No. He kept it for himself. The power of the Ring ruined Isildur for even in the end the honor of kings could not conquer the greed of men.

Am I not a man as well? How could you propose to put the power of an entire kingdom in my hands? Men are greedy. Men with power will take advantage of it. That is the fate of my race. That is the fate of my bloodline. Would you not fear the same? Would you not fear what you yourself would do more than what others would? Why would you risk choosing the wrong path when it is often so much easier to not choose a path altogether?

For years I escaped my fate, wandering the earth, turning a blind eye to the neglect of the Steward of Gondor. The race of men was crumbling. Gondor, the white city, once the pinnacle of beauty in the land, weathered and blackened with the selfishness of men. The throne of Elendil remained empty.

But Naneth, that was not the end. For a long time I thought I could escape my responsibilities and my fears. What changed? The Ring and its bearer.

Frodo, the Hobbit, the smallest, most humble of beings, changed me. He fully knew the risks and consequences of bearing the One Ring of Power, but he did so anyways. He took the Ring and held the power to destroy all good in the world in the palm of his hand. And he conquered it.

That was when I understood why I needed to come back. You cannot run from fear of something you might do. You can never know what you might do until you are given the power to do it. Do not doubt yourself.

I took the throne, Naneth. I claimed my place as the rightful King of Gondor and I rebuilt the kingdom of Men.

So, Naneth, can you forgive me? Have I atoned for my sins? Has your sacrifice still been in vain?

For the longest time, Naneth, I thought that I was a coward. I thought that running from my destiny had made me a coward. But now I realize that I am not. For even though I ran, I came back.

That is what makes me human.

s`N95%~N 55%: Forgive me,

Aragorn II Elessar