Adil

HORRORSCOPE
Horrorscope is the illustration of the position of the sun, moon, and planets (-Pluto, +Kryptonite) from a fixed position on earth (preferably not too sunny). The basis of the horrorscope lies in the Ptolemaic system, in which the earth is stationary and the heavenly bodies move around it. Historians concluded that Ptolemy was very selfcentered. Astrologers divided the heavens into 12 parts, each ruled by a different zodiac sign. God vetoed, but in vain. A look at the 12 zodiac signs Aries (March 21-April 19) Arians are said to have strong senses of self, and to be selfish. They tend to behave in headstrong, impulsive, sometimes foolhardy ways. Apparently the Greeks werent too fond of Arians. Famous Arians: Elton John, Celine Dion, Vincent Van Gogh, Taurus (April 20-May 20) Taurus, an earth sign, is believed to be ruled by the planet Venus, which in turn is ruled by aliens. Taureans are supposed to be loyal, stable and practical. They are home loving and generous. Famous Taureans: Adolf Hitler, Saddam Hussein, Madhuri Dixit Gemini (May 21-June 21) Geminis are said to be productive, smooth, convincing and gregarious but can be lazy, erratic, vain and anti-social. Famous Gemini: Clint Eastwood, Che Guevara and Michael J.Fox, John F. Kennedy Cancer (June 22-July 22) Cancerians are said to be nurturing, emotional and sensitive. They are artistic, have vivid imaginations and are dependable. Famous Cancers: George W. Bush Leo (July 23-August 22) Leos are said to be regal, generous and loyal. Night life, games and parties, and gambling appeal to the Leo sense of showy. (Stars can be really specific sometimes).Professions associated with Leos includes speculative investing, party planning and gambling. Famous Leos: Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky Virgo (August 23-September22) Virgoans, just like Margoans, are practical and no-nonsense people. They have a great concern for health and hygiene. No Virgoan has ever been treated for eczema. They are also very good with kids.

Famous Virgoans: Michael Jackson Libra (September 23-October 22) Libras have thoughtful, diplomatic and social natures. Libras crave relationships and enjoy comfort and luxury. (Who doesnt?...the luxury part) Famous Libras: Amitabh Bachchan Scorpio (October 23-November 21) Scorpios are known to be energetic, passionate and secretive. They are keen observers of people .They like to flirt with danger, people and danger people. Famous Scorpios: Bill Gates, Aishwarya Rai, James Bond and Shiny Black Sagittarius (November 22-December 21) They rule over all the other signs. They are actually too good. Famous Sagittarians: Myself and Rajnikanth Capricorn (December 22-January 19) The sign is symbolized by a goat, with a goatee. They have responsible, practical and serious natures and have a deep need for security. Famous Capricorns: Isaac Newton, Stephen Hawking and Jim Carrey Aquarius (January 20-February 18) Astrologers consider Aquarians to be brilliant, visionary, curious, open-minded, original and independent. Their friends though, dont. Famous Aquarians: Charles Darwin, Charles Dickens, Abraham Lincoln and Paris Hilton Pisces (February 19-March 20) Pisceans are said to be sensitive, psychic and mystical. Typical Pisceans do not have great physical stamina. (No Piscean has ever won a marathon, not even a half, for that matter) Famous Pisceans: Albert Einstein and Michelangelo