DEDICATION AND ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I am publishing this work

'' Mr. Bernard Ferrell

' '' .....

I have revised some of my previous articles for inclusion in this work. I have also added previously-unpublished articles. I want to express my thanks to Rabbi Chaim Markowitz, Maggid Shiur, Congregration Ahavas Israel, Passaic, NJ, for his invaluable editorial comments, delivered in record time. Acharonah Acharonah Chaviva, I want to thank my Aishes Chayyil, Aliza, the Akerres Beisi, who demonstrates Mesiras Nefesh Mamash to create a home Al Taharas HaKodesh. It is a home where I am inspired and enabled to grow.

'' '' '

: ' '' '' ''

HAKARAS HATOV
There are a group of individuals who stepped into the breach after the passing of Avi Mori, HKM, and I wanted to take this opportunity to recognize and thank them: Mr. & Mrs. Richard and Virginia Gordimer, and their son, HaRav Avrohom Gordimer Whether I was in Florida or in my office, they just couldnt do enough for me The Chevra Kadisha of Passaic-Clifton You truly are a holy society Congregation Ahavas Israel of Passaic HaRav Ron Yitzchok Eisenman, Mara DAsra Reb Eliezer Ringer, President You lived up to your shuls name in a superlative fashion Mr. & Mrs. Yirmiyahu & Miriam Mack Once again, they showed us: theyre the best neighbors anyone could have HaRav Chaim Markowitz Your efforts in guaranteeing the functioning of the Shiva minyanim will not soon be forgottten & Acharonah Acharonah Chaviva My Aishes Chayyil, Aliza What would I have done without you? What would I ever do without you?

LCha, Hashem, [ ]HaNetzach VHaHod: Reflections on the Life and Petirah of Avi Mori, HK"M It is sadly ironic that my father should pass away on 17 Iyyar, the 32nd day of the Omer, when the Sefiros (emanations through which G-d interacts with the world) of the day are Netzach She-B'Hod. In his last years, my father certainly demonstrated the Middah (trait) of Netzach. My father had a pacemaker with a defibrillator. Diabetes. Total Kidney failure. He needed dialysis three times a week. His activities and diet were restricted. But he fought and fought and fought. He showed almost super-human fortitude and tenacity. And he lived BChasdei Hashem three years longer than the doctors said he would. Dialysis is never the key to a long life. As I understand it, it was his total kidney failure that brought my father to the Olam HaEmess. Poignantly, the kidneys are organs that the Mekuballim (Jewish mystics) connect to the Sefiros of Netzach and Hod. I have no doubt that the Akshanus DKedusha that allowed me to embrace Jewish Orthodoxy is a Yerusha from him. I will always remember him as a fighter.

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[My thanks to aish.com & inner.org for supplying data.]

SECTION ONE VSamachta Lifnei Hashem Introduction What is the Shechinah? I have heard from Rabbi David Feinstein that the Shechinah is Gd's Presence experienced. G-d is always present: "the whole Earth is full of His Glory." However, His Presence is not always perceived, manifest, experienced. When the Shechinah "rests" somewhere, it means inter alia that we can (mutatis mutandis ) feel the Presence of G-d. Joy & Awe In Orach Chaim 93:2, the Shulchan Aruch describes the ideal emotional state for the Amidah prayer. In the midst of this discussion is something which prima facie is contradictory: "One should arise for the Amidah prayer with a sense of awe-filled trepidation [and] joy..." The Mishnah Berurah here (#4) is sensitive to this apparent problem and writes (1), "What the Shulchan Aruch means is that the ideal emotional state for the Amidah prayer is awe-filled trepidation etc., but this is not attainable by all people, so he says that minimally, one should not stand for the Amidah prayer with a feeling of frivolity but rather with a feeling of joy from fulfilling G-d's commandments." Were it not for the holy words of the Mishnah Berurah, I would have offered the following resolution to this seeming contradiction: Reciting the Amidah prayer is, by definition, standing before G-d (2). To be in the Presence of G-d necessarily engenders two emotions: joy (3) and awe-filled trepidation (4). Consequently, both emotions are prerequisites (5) for the Amidah prayer! The conjunction of joy and awe-filled trepidation is found elsewhere in the Torah tradition: For example, every Shabbos morning, we sing "Kayl Adon." "Kayl Adon" metaphorically describes the luminaries in the following way: "Joyful in their going out, exultant in their coming in, doing the will of their Maker with awe-filled trepidation." Another example is that, while the Patriarch Yitzchok is seen as the paragon of awe and reverence for G-d (6), he is also the Patriarch most closely identified with joy (7).

NOTES (1) Free translation (2) Cf. Rabban Yochanan Ben Zakkai advice's to his students regarding their saying of the Amidah prayer: "Know before Whom you stand" (Talmud, Berachos 28/b). (3) Heard from Rabbi Hershel Schachter. Rabbi Schachter explained that our souls experienced the Presence of G-d vividly and palpably before they were joined to our bodies. That is why, here on Earth, we only feel a full sense of comfort and security when we are Lifnei Hashem (in G-ds Presence). (4) Vide Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 12:11 (5) And, arguably, they are also the results of reciting the Amidah prayer properly, as Rabbi Chaim Markowitz points out. (6) For example, G-d is referred to as, "the [object of the] Fear of Yitzchok" in Genesis 31: 42. (7) Kuntrus Lekket Reshimos (5759), p.4, based on the teachings of the great Sage, Rabbi Nosson Wachtfogel Shechinah Linkages I. According to one source in the Torah tradition, the Patriarchs correspond in some way to the Three Pilgrimage festivals. One source states that the Patriarch Yitzchok corresponds to Sukkos. A different source--disagreeing or supplementing--states that Aharon HaKohen corresponds to Sukkos (1). What's fascinating is that an array of disparate sources scattered unrelatedly throughout the tradition could lead one to draw the very same conclusions! Both the Patriarch Yitzchok and Aharon HaKohen (2) are connected in some way to the Temple ServiceThe Temple Service is connected to the Shechinah (3) The Shechinah was connected by the Talmud to G-d's supervision (4)G-d's supervision of the world is a motif of Sukkos (5)! the Patriarch Yitzchok Aharon HaKohen the Temple Service the Temple Service the Shechinah the Shechinah G-d's supervision G-d's supervision motif of Sukkos

motif of Sukkos

There is at least one other way to link the Patriarch Yitzchok to Sukkos: He is the Patriarch most closely linked to the trait of Joy (6), and the Siddur refers to Sukkos as, "the Time of Our Joy." There is at least one other way to link the Aharon HaKohen to Sukkos: The Clouds of Glory that protected our ancestors during their 40-year desert trek were present in Aharon HaKohen's merit (7), and we dwell in the Sukkah on Sukkos inter alia as a remembrance of those Clouds of Glory (8). II. The Talmud states that a rabbinic Judge who judges properly generates an experience of the Shechinah (9). It also states that when a rabbinic court of three is sitting, there is an experience of the Shechinah. (10) It's fascinating that seemingly unconnected sources in the tradition can be marshaled to draw the same conclusion: in some form or fashion, the implementation of Justice is related to the Shechinah. (A) "Judgment" (Din) is connected to the Temple Service (11)The Temple Service generates an experience of the Shechinah (3) (B) The basis of Jewish jurisprudence is the Mishnaic sub-division, "Damages" The sub-division "Damages "corresponds to the word "Salvations" in Yishayah 33:6"Redemption" is defined as an experience of the Shechinah (12) NOTES (1) "Yismach Avicha," p. 105, by my great mentor Rabbi Aharon Kahn. The same source that links the Patriarch Yitzchok to Sukkos links the Patriarch Avraham to Pesach and the Patriarch Ya'akov to Shavuos. (2) Avot 1:2 states that the world stands on three things: [study of] Torah (see Tosafos Yom Tov here), [the Temple] Service (see Rashi & Rabbenu Yonah here), and the bestowal of loving-kindness. The commentary of the Vilna Gaon's brother links the bestowal of loving-kindness to the Patriarch Avraham, the [Temple] Service to the Patriarch Yitzchok, and [the study of] Torah to the Patriarch Ya'akov. The Kli Yakar on the Torah portion "B'Shalakh (Exodus 13:17ff.)," c.v. V'Yavo Amalek, links the bestowal of loving-kindness to Miriam the Prophetess, the [Temple] Service to Aharon HaKohen, and [the study of] Torah to Moshe Rabbenu. (3) Commentary of the Kli Yakar on the Torah portion "B'Shalakh" (c.v. V'Yavo Amalek) (4) Responsa of the Nodah B'Yehuda, Mahadura Tanina, Orach Chaim, Responsum 107 (5) Aruch HaShulchan, Orach Chaim 625:3

(6) Kuntrus Lekket Reshimos (5759), p.4, based on the teachings of the great Sage, Rabbi Nosson Wachtfogel (7) Vide the beginning of the commentary of the Ch'sam Sofer on the Torah portion "Chukas (Numbers 19:1ff.)." It also states there that the well-water of Miriam was present in the merit of Miriam the Prophetess and that the manna was present in the merit of Moshe Rabbenu (8) Mishnah Berurah 625:1 (9) Talmud, Sanhedrin 7/a (10) Talmud, Berachos 6/a (11) Rabbi Shlomo Kluger, Magen Avot 2:2 (12) An insight from Rabbi Elyah Kaminsky based on the Talmud in Shabbos 31/a and Nachmanides' Introduction to his commentary on the book of Exodus

SECTION TWO Mitzvas Milah Niskabla BSimcha The Covenant of Abraham, our Patriarch The Talmud states (1), "[Upon hearing] good news, one says [the blessing that concludes,] The Good One Who does good; [upon hearing] bad news, one says [the blessing that concludes,] the Judge of Truth." Shortly after this, the Talmud states, "One is obligated to make a blessing for a bad occurrence just as ["KShem"] one is obligated to make a blessing for a good occurrence." In a later passage (2), the Talmud explores the meaning of the second statement. Surely, explains the Talmud, it cannot mean that one makes the same blessing for a bad occurrence as for a good one--that would contradict an explicit teaching! The Talmud concludes there that the second passage deals with the approach to the blessing and not its text. One must accept all news with Simchah (joy), says the Talmud. Inotherwords, the blessings must be made wholeheartedly (3) and with an awareness that we are in the Presence of a G-d Who is only benevolent. (4) Perhaps we can apply this connotation of the word "KShem" ("just as") in another context. After a baby boy is circumcised, the attendees shout, "Just as ("KShem") he entered into the Covenant, so may he also enter into Torah study, into the Chuppah, and into the realm of bestowing kindness." What can the babys entrance into the Covenant via circumcision have in common with these three lofty endeavors? What approach could all four have in common? Perhaps our prayer for the child is: Just as you entered the Covenant purely, without any egocentric motives and without any personal agendas, so may you also study the Torah, function as a husband, and bestow kindness without any self-centeredness. May you learn Torah with no ulterior motives, only seeking the truth: Rabbi Shimon Finkelman relates the following: Many years ago, Rabbi Yisroel HaLevi Belsky arranged a meeting between the great Sage, Rabbi Yaakov Kaminetzky, and a student whose commitment to Torah learning was less than optimal. After the meeting, the fellow explained that he felt uplifted by the encounter but was perplexed as to the purpose of the meeting. Rabbi Belsky replied, "I wanted you to spend time with Reb Yaakov so that you could see what Torah can do to a person." Rabbi Finkelman concludes, "No word portrait can adequately describe the aura of a great Torah personality, the purity, wisdom and kindness which he personifies. Rav Belsky [further stated] that in Rav Pam, the talmidim [students] of [Yeshiva] Torah

Vodaath merited another such personality, one whose very essence proclaimed the rewards for those who study Torah diligently, without ulterior motive." (5) May you function as a husband with selfless devotion: "[Rav Pam] offered a homiletic interpretation of Rashis comment on the verse, [ ] he shall gladden his wife whom he has married. Says Rashi, This verse is rendered by the Targum, "And he shall gladden his wife" But he who translates it, "He shall be glad with his wife," is mistaken. Said Rav Pam: The Torahs prescription for a successful marriage is that the husband focuses on making his wife happy. However, one who focuses on making himself happy with his wife is wrong. Such a marriage will not succeed." (6) May you bestow kindness with only the needs of the Other in mind: "Rav Pam noted that [the Patriarch] Avrohom prepared a lavish meal for his three guests (Genesis Ch. 18) though he was surely not one to indulge in such feasts. The way of a true Baal Chessed (habitual benefactor), he explained, is to focus on the individuals needs, regardless of whether or not one personally has such needs." (7) NOTES 1. Talmud, Berachos 54/a 2. Talmud, Berachos 60/b 3. Rashi, Berachos 60/b, c.v. Likbulinhu BSimchah 4. Heard from Rabbi Hershel Schachter 5. "Rav Pam," by Rabbi Shimon Finkelman, p. 363 6. Ibid., p. 442 7. Ibid., p. 275

SECTION THREE Simchas HaChayyim: Part One VSamachta BKhol HaTov THE POWER TO EVALUATE A computer keyboard has a "Z" key. Typically, depressing the "Z" key causes a "Z" to appear on the monitor. With a different program, depressing the "Z" key could cause the Hebrew letter "Zayyin" to appear. It depends on the software. The same is true of us. Wed like to think that our evaluations are "givens" and that our responses are "built-in." "Of course I got angry," we bellow, "did you see what he did?!?" We forget that there are many kinds of "software" we can download into our brains. There are a plethora of evaluations from which we can choose when "our keys are pushed." We forget that our responses are not automatic: they are built on our evaluations (i.e., what appears "on the monitor" depends on the "software"). If you change how you evaluate, youll change the way you respond. With a positive attitudinal posture, you will develop a positive emotional reaction. THE PROPER FOCUS The Sages of the Mishnah tell us that one is "a wealthy person" if he "rejoices in his portion." Part of "rejoicing in ones portion" is counting ones blessings. (1) Indeed, what you choose to focus on makes a tremendous impact on how you appraise yourself, others, and the circumstances of your life. In the Shaarei Teshuvah, Rabbenu Yonah tells the story of two travelers who passed by the malodorous carcass of a dog. One commented on the strength of the carcass odor. The other replied, "See how white its teeth are!" (2) You can feel more positive about yourself, your spouse, your associates, and your circumstances if you focus on THE WHITE TEETH! For example: [The great Sage, Rabbi Avrohom Yaakov HaKohen Pam, taught, "Human nature is such that when someone is wronged, he focuses on his hurt and ignores, at least for the moment, the perpetrators [positive] qualities." This was not Adams approach to Eve, despite her role in his sin and his punishment. We can derive a lesson from Adams conduct. "When husband and wife overlook each others deficiencies and occasional lapses and instead focus on each others [positive] qualities, they have the makings of a very successful, enduring marriage." (3)

Another example: Rav Pam was reluctant to make his pain known during one of his last hospital stays. A grandson pointed out that they could ease his pain if he would just complain a little. Rav Pam responded, "[D]o you know how old I am?--eighty-eight. Do you know how old eighty-eight is? Its a long time. Some people dont live until fifty. Fewer people live until sixty, even less until seventy or eighty. Look at what the Ribbono shel Olam (Master of the Universe) gave me--eighty-eight years! Im so makir tov (grateful) for this! So, if along with those years comes some pain, you want me to complain about it? How can I complain?" (4) EVALUATING YOURSELF You can begin to appraise yourself in a positive light by bearing in mind some essential verities: You have value merely by dint of being a creation of G-d. (5) You were created for a Divine purpose--and that purpose can ONLY be fulfilled by YOU. (6) You have worth uniquely as a human being, because humans are created BTzelem Elokim (in G-ds Image). (7) You have inherent value. Rabbenu Yonah says that knowing this is essential in the service of G-d. (8) You have "essential great importance," as the great Sage, Rabbi Aharon Kotler, taught, adding that a "person is obligated to reflect upon and recognize" this. (9) You are talented and gifted in a unique way. The Midrashic Sages teach that you have an obligation to honor G-d with the talents He graciously bestowed upon you. Perforce, you have talents and gifts and you must recognize them! (10) These realities are not affected by anyone elses words or deeds. Nothing anyone says or does to you takes away from what youre worth and what youre capable of doing. Doing a sin does not alter these realities. A lack of material success does not alter these realities: Youre not in control of your material success; its a Divine decree: "HaKol Bidei Shamayyim Chutz MiYiras Shamayyim (Everything comes about by Divine decree except for a persons reverence for G-d)." (11) How can you condemn yourself for whats not in your control? As the Maharsha points out, "You cannot be praised or criticized for an attribute that is yours perforce" ("HaHechraiach Lo Yeshubach VLo YGuneh").

(12) At most, there may be room for a critique vis--vis insufficient Hishtadlus (effort). The Mesilas Yeshorim describes Hishtadlus as the "tax" that must be paid before G-d gives us the success Hes decreed for us; after paying this "tax," there is no room or need for worry. (13) EVALUATING WHAT OTHERS SAY AND DO A newly-married fellow brings home challah for the first Shabbos he and his bride will spend in their new home. He INTENDS to be a good husband, and he recalls that his father always saved his mother the trouble of baking by bringing home challah for her. However, his wife is devastated. HER mother always baked the challah for Shabbos. To her, his bringing home challah is indicative of his belief that she is an utter incompetent. The IMPACT on her is to humiliate her. As we see, human relationships are subject to discrepancies between INTENTION and IMPACT. (14) A fundamental rule for having a successful relationship is: You must DECODE. You need to ask, "What is the meaning of this speech and behavior according to the Other's 'dictionary'?" The intention of the speaker must inform your evaluation of the speech. The intention of the doer must inform your evaluation of the behavior. [Furthermore, if you want the Other to be satisfied with YOU, the makeup of the Other must inform your speech and behavior. This way, your actual impact is the desired impact. Inotherwords, you must ENCODE.] As we evaluate the Others behavior and speech, we must also remember that the Torah commands us to judge a fellow Jew favorably. This requires us to give an average person the benefit of the doubt when a given behavior can be interpreted either favorably or unfavorably (with an equal probability for both interpretations). It also requires us to evaluate a given behavior of a high-caliber servant of G-d in a positive light--even when that behavior is seemingly problematic. It is praiseworthy to give unknown people the benefit of the doubt, as well. (15) As you begin to appraise others in a positive light, you will begin to respond to them with fewer and fewer negative emotions and more and more positive ones. For example, you may find that you can diminish the amount of times you get angry when you re-evaluate what enrages you. You may realize that the Others speech and behavior is NOT really meant as an attack on YOU. You may realize that the Others speech (or behavior) is NOT a genuine threat to your dignity, success, or pleasure. As your self-appraisal grows more positive, you may find that even the real attacks are less and less bothersome.

EVALUATING EVENTS As mentioned earlier, the Sages of the Mishnah tell us that one is "a wealthy person" if he "rejoices in his portion." Why did they choose the word "portion" from among the available options? They might have said that one should "rejoice with what he has" or "rejoice in his situation." Perhaps the Sages are stressing that what we have in life is apportioned to us by G-d and did not happen at random. When you realize that the circumstances of your life are beneficial Divine decrees, you can rejoice in them. As the Mesilas Yeshorim says, "A persons love of G-d will not be weakened by pressure or pain when he considers that everything G-d does to him is for his benefit." (16) And in the Kuntres Hakdamas Ben Yisachar we find the following: "If a person would realize that everything occurs through Heaven-sent Divine Providence, he certainly would not get angry and he would believe that what happens is for his benefit." (17) We can even view Yissurim (afflictions) as positive experiences and rejoice in them because they can arouse us to repentance and afford us atonement. (18) TALK SMART; THINK SMART A person should accustom himself to say, "Whatever the Merciful One [viz., G-d] does, He does for [a] good [purpose]." (19) Due to the impact of our speech on our thoughts (20), this will lead us to a change how we evaluate unpleasant events. Nachum Ish GamZu is praiseworthy (inter alia) because he would always say, "This [unpleasant occurrence] is also for [a] good [purpose]." (21) He is certainly worthy of emulation! NOTES 1. An explanation of Avos 4:1 that I heard from the great Sage, Rabbi Ahron HaLevi Soloveichik 2. Shaarei Teshuvah, Shaar 3, #217 3. "Rav Pam," by Rabbi Shimon Finkelman, p.441 4. Ibid., p.476 5. Heard from Rabbi Hershel Schachter 6. Rabbi Avrohom Twersky, "Let Us Make Man," p.113 7. Heard from the great Sage, Rabbi Ahron HaLevi Soloveichik, and from Rabbi Hershel Schachter. 8. Shaar HaAvodah, Shaar 1, Ch. 1: "SheYaidah HaIsh HaOveid Erech Atzmo." Indeed, the awareness of ones self-worth is crucial in interpersonal relationships. The Orchos

Tzaddikim [Shaar HaAhavah] states, "Choose to associate with someone who recognizes their personal value," and the Mivchar HaPeninim [23, Shaar Bechinas HaChaburah] adds, "There is no good in associating with someone who does not recognize their personal value." 9. Mishnas Rabbi Aharon, Vol. 1, "Banim Ahtem" 10. Heard from Rabbi Yisroel HaLevi Belsky, citing the Midrash Tanchuma, Reh, Siman 12, which expounds Proverbs 3:9 11. Talmud, Berachos 33/b 12. Maharsha, Niddah 16/b 13. Mesilas Yeshorim, Ch. 21 14. Heard from Rabbi Dr. Irving Levitz 15. Heard from the great Sage, Rabbi Avrohom Yaakov HaKohen Pam (on tape). Rabbi Yaakov Luban has pointed that giving the benefit of the doubt is not naivete. Rather, it is a prudent and intelligent choice: the choice to gather the facts in detective-like fashion before drawing a conclusion. 16. Mesilas Yeshorim, Ch. 19 [re Ahavah] 17. Kuntres Hakdamas Ben Yisachar, by Rabbi Eliyahu Weinberger, p.10 18. Talmud, Berachos 5/a; Shaarei Teshuvah of Rabbenu Yonah, Shaar 2, #3 & #4; Derech Hashem, Chelek 2, Ch. 3, #5 19. Talmud, Berachos 60/b, codified in Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 230:5 20. Heard from Rabbi Avigdor HaKohen Miller (on tape) 21. Taanis 21/a

Simchas HaChayyim: Part Two VSimach Es Ishto EVALUATING YOUR SPOUSE, YOUR MARRIAGE & YOUR ROLE AS A PARENT It doesnt take a rocket scientist to posit that unrealistic expectations have fomented many Shalom Bayyis (marital harmony) problems. You may enter marriage thinking, "I will now have my emotional needs met--when and how I need them met." Surprise! Your spouse speaks and acts exactly as you want only most of the time! Having encountered reality from an unrealistic perspective, you might begin to appraise your marriage negatively. Negative attitudes and responses will flow from that negative appraisal. You will become more satisfied with your marriage when your expectations become more realistic. The essence of marriage is not "effortless, perpetual, immediate gratification." As Rabbi Zelig Pliskin has explained, your marriage (like everything else in life) is a surmountable challenge sent to you for the purpose of your personal development: "Every challenge in your life is meant as a Nisayon, a life-challenge, from which you can grow[Marriage] will test you in a way that youve never been tested beforeMarriage is for growthThe person you are married to is exactly the person with whom, at present, it is in your best spiritual interests to interact[H]ear the Heavenly voice calling out[,] You are married to exactly the right person for you!" (22) You can also enhance your marital satisfaction by looking at all of your spouses positive aspects and all the positive aspects of your marriage and saying, "Dayyenu:" it suffices. This was the approach of Rabbi Chiyyah to the formidable challenges he faced in his marriage. (23) Rabbi Chiyyah did have a minimum standard, however. He didnt say that his wifes capacity to breathe independently was in itself sufficient! Indeed, we do have a whole tractate entitled, "Gittin (writs of divorce)." The key is to say "Dayyenu" more easily, suffused with realism and understanding--not to say "Dayyenu" unconditionally. For example, you want Level 10 of some trait from your spouse. However, they come into the marriage giving only Level 6. The key is for you to be satisfied with Level 8 and for your spouse to develop to Level 8. It should be noted that it is extremely worthwhile to consult Talmidei Chachamim (Torah scholars) to verify that what you perceive as a deficiency in your spouse truly is one. Perhaps, from a Torah perspective, its a positive attribute! In that case, you will have one more reason to feel satisfied. WHEN TO WORK; HOW TO WORK My great mentor, Rabbi Aharon HaKohen Kahn, has taught that the most crucial time for working to be at your best is not during the dating before engagement: its after the wedding! Rabbi Kahn pointed out that, although the Sages say (24) that G-d makes

Zivugim (marital matches), they do not say that He maintains them. Its a sign of skewed priorities when people work tirelessly to get engaged but slack off after the wedding. The time of marriage is the real time for the hardest work. With G-ds indispensable help, it will last! If you want to enhance your bond with your spouse, GIVE TO THEM! (25) If you want to enhance your love for your spouse, GIVE TO THEM! Even small gestures (e.g., a phone call that demonstrates concern; an affectionate note) are valuable. (26) AFTER THE FIGHT remember that no less than the Name of G-d is erased to restore marital harmony. (27) remember that the Sages of the Talmud say, "A person should always cling to peacemaking." (28) remember a lesson that can be learned from the three steps taken at the end of Shemoneh Esreh and Kaddish: we are willing to go backwards, to the left, and to the right, for the sake of peace. (29) PARENTING Reflection on the following two citations may help make the innumerable challenges of child-raising more meaningful: "From the perspective of G-d and the Torah, the most important Melacha (labor) is raising children." (30) "[I]t is exactly that small chessed (kindness) [e.g., washing a baby or singing a lullaby to a baby, as Shifra and Puah did, respectively] which is so important to the Torah...You can't imagine the importance of taking loving care of your children, and these small acts are not really small at all[--and each one] is building the Jewish nation.'' (31) NOTES 22. Cf. "Marriage," by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin, p.xi, 54, 105, 108 23. Talmud, Yevamos 63/a 24. Bereishis Rabbah 68:4 25. Heard from Rabbi Yisroel HaLevi Belsky, based on Talmud, Kesubos 105/b. Rabbi Belsky has also taught that a married man is "a greater person who carries the wonderful Middah (trait) of being an Ish Chessed (man of kindness) and being a Nosein (giver) and not a Mekabel (receiver)," and that "the person who gives is a Melech (king)[;] nobility

[ ] is something that radiates from a person who gives." 26. Heard from Rabbi Meir HaLevi Stern, citing Derech Eretz Zuta, Ch. 2. Rabbi Stern also provided the practical steps mentioned here. 27. Rambam, Hilchos Chanukah 4:14 28. Talmud, Yevamos 109/a 29. Heard from Rabbi Binyamin Kaminetzky 30. Igros Moshe, Orach Chaim 4:49 31. "Heart to Heart Talks," compiled by Rabbi Moshe Finkelstein from the teachings of Rabbi Chaim Pinchas Scheinberg, assisted by A. Rappaport, pp.267-268

Simchas HaChayyim: Part Three Ivdu Es Hashem BSimcha EVALUATING MITZVOS (THE COMMANDMENTS) The Sifsei Chayyim states, "Joy in performing a mitzvah proves that one recognizes the value of mitzvos." (32) Hence, you can enhance how much you enjoy performing mitzvos by enhancing how much you value mitzvos. Keep in mind the following: Keeping Mitzvos gives us a Shayyachus and Hiskarvus (connectedness and closeness) to G-d. (33) Keeping Mitzvos gives us true Shleimus (wholeness and perfection). (34) The US Army used to inspire recruitment by declaring that you could "Be All That You Can Be" by becoming a soldier. To a Jew, we could say, "Be As Perfected As You Can Be" by serving G-d! Keeping Mitzvos brings joy (mutatis mutandis) to G-d, and we can rejoice in that: In Ch. 33, the Tanya states, "Whoever is of the seed of Israel ought to rejoice in the joy of G-d ("Lismoach BSimchas Hashem"), Who is happy and joyous with His abode amongst the creatures of the lower spheres." Rabbi Yosef Wineberg explains, "G-ds joy is especially great when the creations in [ ] the very lowest world [ ] become an abode for Him." In discussing Ch. 36, Rabbi Wineberg connects the mitzvos to the creation of this dwelling-place: "The Alter Rebbe [ ] explains that G-ds purpose in Creation is that He might have a dwelling place in the lower realms, specifically, in this physical world. [T]hrough the practical mitzvot, and through their elevating effect on the body and the animal soul, the material world in its entirety becomes a dwelling place for G-d." (35) EVALUATING FAITH: IS IT IRRATIONAL OR UNSCIENTIFIC TO BELIEVE? The seforim (holy books) state that Torah-true beliefs can be readily embraced by a rational being: The Kuzari declares that the Torah contains nothing that contradicts the testimony of direct observation and nothing that contradicts that which is proven by logic. (36) Relatedly, Rabbi J. David Bleich has written, "G-d does not impose obligations which cannot be fulfilled; [therefore,] G-d cannot command man to accept the illogical or the irrationalPropositions which constitute objects of belief must, then, first and foremost do no violence to human credulity. They must be readily apprehended and accepted by human thought." (37) Sometimes people ask, "What do we do if Torah and Science (or History) are in

conflict?" In truth, what they are really asking is, "What if the Torahs description of physical reality as I understand it contradicts what I accept as the truth about physical reality?" What really needs to be asked at the outset is: What description of physical reality does the Torah really require a Jew to accept? Are Science (and History) so invariably reliable? Its worth noting that the scientific approach is not a given; it is a development in the history of humanity. Science was born in Ionia in the sixth century BCE. It was the Ionians who argued that reality was knowable because it was lawful. (38) Furthermore, Science does not provide absolutes: "[T]he essence of Science is that it is self-correcting." "[F]undamental to the scientific enterprise" is the performance of experiments that "vigorous[ly] reassess[ ] received wisdom" (39) "[A]bsolute certainty will always elude us. The most we can hope for is successive improvement in our understanding." (40) Neither does History provide absolutes: "History generally is written by the victors to justify their actionsWhen no overwhelming victory takes place, each side writes selfpromotional accounts of what really happened[A]ccounts of events have passed through biased human filtersAll that can be hoped for is a set of successive approximations." (41) The literal meaning of a Torah-source is not necessarily the only meaning--or even the correct meaning! Rabbi Saadiah Gaon stated that if the apparent meaning of a verse contradicts empirical data or the dictates of reason, one should seek an approach to the verses phraseology so as to dissolve the conflict. (42) Maimonides wrote that G-d incorporeality is proven by logic, mandating a non-literal interpretation of any verse that describes Him in a corporeal way. On the other hand, says Maimonides, there is no need to interpret any verse figuratively to square it with the doctrine of the eternity of the world, because that doctrine is unproven. Were it to be proven, we would, declares Maimonides, indeed interpret the relevant verses non-literally to dissolve conflicts. (43) Maimonides also cautioned us against ascribing literalness and historicity to every Midrash and Agaddata (narrative written by the Sages of the Talmudic era): "The members of [the ideal] class are convinced also of the impossibility of the impossible and the necessary existence of what must exist...And they are convinced beyond doubt that their [viz., the Talmudic-Midrashic Sages] words have both an outer and an inner meaning, and that in all that they said of things impossible their discourses were in the form of riddle and parable...[W]hen you come across any of the Sages' remarks which reason rejects, you pause and learn that it is a dark saying and an allegory.'' (44)

RATIONALITY AND EXPERIENCE DO NOT IMPEDE FAITH: THEY PROMOTE IT Someone tells you, "G-d spoke to all of our ancestors at Sinai. Our ancestors heard G-d talk to Moshe Rabbenu." A teacher, a parent, or a friend tells you this. Why should you believe them? You check around. You see that you are not the only one receiving this information. In fact, there are multitudes and multitudes of Jews receiving this information. And if you look back 3 or 4 generations, even more multitudes. Your grandfather heard it from his grandfather who heard it from his grandfather etc.--and this was true of all of the Jews they knew for as long as they knew it. Is it rational to believe this account? If someone tells you he has an apple in a sealed opaque box, you can choose to believe it or disbelieve it. You have no evidence in either direction. On the other hand, if the box is transparent, and you dont see the apple, you have evidence against what he says. You will not believe it. If someone tells you he heard the Voice of G-d, you can choose to believe it or disbelieve it. On the other hand, if someone tells you that YOU heard the Voice of G-d, you will not believe it--unless you really did. You see that the account of our nations experience at Mount Sinai has been handed down for uncountable generations, from parents to children and from teachers to students. You decide to do a thought-exercise. You imagine that it never actually occurred. You imagine that numerous centuries ago, an individual or a group of individuals started telling all of the other Jews around them, "Our ancestors heard G-d speak. Our ancestors heard G-d talk to Moshe Rabbenu." You realize that if it did NOT happen, it would have been dismissed as a lie: "We would have known if it happened," they would say, "because we and our parents and grandparents would have been told. None of us were ever told, so we have to conclude that it did not happen." The lie would have died then and there. And yet, the account HAS been passed down. And our ancestors would not have knowingly bought into a lie and transmitted a lie. (45) In the absence of evidence to the contrary, you may be able to get someone to believe an account of what happened to him (the speaker) or to an anonymous group. You will not be able to get a nation to believe that something to happened to their own ancestors if it didnt. (46) IS RATIONALITY ENOUGH? THE PLACE OF THE WILL The multi-generational transmission of the Sinai episode and the rational argument for accepting that account will not create a believing Jew. It still takes a conscious decision to accept the nations collective testimony when you hear it. It still takes a conscious decision to accept the nations collective testimony when its reliability is rationally defended. What can prompt that decision? As for myself, I can only say that my experience with Torah and Torah-life and Torahcommunities has been persuasive.

Some examples: The sophistication and the beauty, the complexity and the sweetness, of the corpus of Torah--revealed only by plumbing its depths. The high degree to which the Torah-observant communities are civilized (in the ethical sense) (47) and the high-degree to which they survive through the generations as Jewish communities. The unparalleled majesty of the Torah-true Shabbos table. The boundless joy of a Torahtrue wedding. The pristine purity of those who have worked and worked to achieve a Torah-true character. NOTES 32. Sifsei Chayyim, Moadim III, p.80. 33. Kuntres Hakdamas Ben Yisachar, by Rabbi Eliyahu Weinberger, p.2 34. Mesilas Yeshorim, Ch. 19 [re Ahavah] 35. "Lessons in Tanya," compiled by Rabbi Yosef Wineberg and translated by Rabbis Sholom and Levi Wineberg (posted on the Internet) 36. Kuzari, 1:67 37. Rabbi J. David Bleich, "With Perfect Faith," p.6ff 38. "Cosmos," by Dr. Carl Sagan, pp.175 39. Ibid., pp. xiv-xv 40. "The Demon-Haunted World," by Dr. Carl Sagan, pp.28 Note also the following statement of the great Sage, Rabbi Yosef Dov HaLevi Soloveitchik: [A]ccording to modern epistemological doctrine, and as many leading mathematical physicists such as Hertz, Einstein, Planck, and Eddington have admitted, even the physicist does not simply photograph reality, but rather creates a world of constructs that only parallels a concrete, empirical correlative." [from "Halakhic Man," p.29, translated by Rabbi Lawrence Kaplan] 41. "The Demon-Haunted World," by Dr. Carl Sagan, pp.252, 254. 42. Rabbi Saadiah Gaon, HaEmunos VHaDeios, Maamar 7

43. Rambam, Moreh Nevuchim 2:25 44. Rambam, Introduction to Perek Chelek, translated by J. Abelson, cited in "With Perfect Faith," by Rabbi J. David Bleich, pp.28-29 45. Cf. Ramban, Deuteronomy 4:9, cited in "Eternal Emunah," by Rabbi Dovid Tzvi Eliach, translated by Rabbi Yehudah Bulman, p.137: "[W]e do not testify lies to our children" 46. The presentation here of the Kuzaris rational defense of the reliability of the account of the Sinai episode is based on Rabbi Dr. David Gottliebs formulation (as posted on the Internet). Cf. Rambam, Hilchos Yesodei HaTorah 8: 1-2: "Why did the Jews believe in Moshe Rabbenu at the time of the revelation at Mount Sinai? Because our eyes saw and our ears heard--not a strangers eyes and not someone elses ears--the fire and the sounds and the flames, and Moshe Rabbenu approaching the dark cloud and the Voice of G-d speaking to him, and we heard, Moshe Moshe, go and say such-and-such to them." Moshe Rabbenu and the Jews are witnesses to the fact that G-d spoke to him. As I heard Rabbi Dr. Alter Ben-Tziyyon Metzger formulate it, Moshe Rabbenu is the "primary validating criterion" for the Torah. Indeed, we describe ourselves as "Maaminim Bnei Maaminim. (Believers who are the children of believers). Is this merely a praise of our ancestors? I think not. I would suggest that when we describe ourselves in this way, we are saying, "I do not believe based on a leap of unsupported faith. I believe because I heard the Sinai narrative from my father/rebbe, who believed because he heard it from his father/rebbe, all the way back to those who were there and initiated the transmission of the account." 47. "Of course, the Jews also have their rogues and rascals. The statistical data suggest, however, that Jewrys overall profile is now and has always been at least as virtuous as (if not more than) the surrounding gentile populations. In every country where demographic research has been conducted, and in every sphere--from the most personal, to the communal, to the national and international--Jews stand out ethically. Jewrys incomparably high marriage and low divorce rates, uncommonly tight-knit family structure, peerless emphasis on and success at educational pursuits, wildly disproportional contributions to technical advancement, unprecedented achievements in charity and benevolence, extreme under-representation in criminal activities, and indefatigable commitment to altruistic politics and social action place them among the leaders of the human march towards civilization. The apparent intensification of all these traits among religious Jewry further suggests that the Torah, and not socio-economic status or some unique gene architecture, drives Jewrys ethical engine." [from "Permission to Receive," by Rabbi Lawrence Keleman, pp.169-170] "In nearly every society in which the Jews have lived for the past two thousand years, they have been better educated, more sober, more charitable with one another, committed far fewer violent crimes, and had a considerably more stable family life than their nonJewish neighbors. These characteristics of Jewish life have been completely independent

of Jews affluence or power.There are [ ] specific reasons for believing that Jews have generally led higher quality lives [ ] and that Judaism is responsible for that high level." [from "Why the Jews?" by Dennis Prager and Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, pp.46-47. (Emphasis added).] Simchas HaChayyim: Part Three Appendix: Ruminant Ruminations The Torah tells us [Leviticus 11:1ff.] that the Gammal, the Shaffan, and the Arnevet are not permitted to be eaten. The Talmud in Chullin 59/a & 60/b discusses this passage and tells us that it contains a proof that the Torah's origins are Divine. I will attempt to demonstrate that these verses contain a numerical allusion to the Talmud's statement. Using simple arithmetic, we do indeed see a hint to the Torah's true origins. [NOTE: Hebrew has no indigenous numerals; numerical values are assigned to letters of the alphabet.] STEP 1] IN DESCRIBING THE GAMMAL, THE TORAH EMPLOYS THE WORD, It splits" (its hoof) 40 = IN DESCRIBING THE SHAFFAN, THE TORAH EMPLOYS THE WORD, "It will split" (its hoof) 10 = IN DESCRIBING THE ARNEVET, THE TORAH EMPLOYS THE WORD, "It did split" (its hoof) 10 = 5 + 5 = +

THE LETTERS THAT CHANGE THE TENSE OF THE VERB "( split") IN THESE THREE WORDS GIVE US 40 + 10 + 5 + 5 = 60

STEP 2] THE PHRASE, = 1096 To say that the Torah is Min HaShamayyim is to say that the Torah is of Divine origin. The literal translation of the phrase is, Torah from the Heavens. This phrase appears numerous times in the Talmud and the Midrash.

STEP 3] 1096 + 60 = 1156 which is THE NUMERICAL VALUE of GAMMAL= 73 SHAFFAN= 430 ARNEVET= 653 73 + 430 + 653 = 1156

AFTERWORD: One More Gematria The Title of this Kuntres The numerical value of my fathers name, Beryl HaLevi, is the same as the numerical value of Simchah.