Alex Brannon

9/24/11

Rhet 102 Saylors Sum of Memories Speech

Forged By The Past Our pasts are the fires in which we are forged. Humans, by nature, wield malleable personalities. As a species, we can display a remarkable amount of pig-headedness, yet were never completely beyond the possibility, the desire even, of change. The most influential factor in the development of a person into who they are today is the compilation of their own experiences. The younger the individual, the more open to change and new ideas they are. Parents focus on instilling values, an understanding of right and wrong as well as academic basics at a young age because of this. As we grow and continue to mature physically and mentally, we begin to form our own ideas and further show our increasing independence even as we are still based in our childhood memories. One could say that a blacksmith plies his trade through precise applications of destruction, with the end result emerging as a new creation. In his hands metal will be struck down, burnt beyond recognition, and bent to its limit..but never broken. Its the hard things in life that mold us. A man who is perfectly happy with his life has no reason to change. Its the ones who have felt the hammer, the fire, and the unrelenting stress that will emerge as changed, yet unbroken men and women. Their lifes story will have been authored by the blacksmith. This is my story, my trilogy thats crafted me into who I am today. I lost my dad to pancreatic cancer my first year of school. That loss became devastating, but not for the reason one would expect. I was 6 years old the morning my mom took me on a walk through Ozs Yellow brick road and explained that I would never see my father again. At that age I understood loss, but only in its immediate form, the same way children are prone to choose instant gratification. Having recovered from the initial heartbreak and fear of the news,

Alex Brannon

9/24/11

Rhet 102 Saylors Sum of Memories Speech

I went on to enjoy a month of loving attention from everyone around me: teachers, classmates, family, etc. The real pain from losing dad was something that would manifest over years growing up. The small things seemed to hurt mom the most, but I managed: teaching myself how to wear a necktie for sports, learning how to drive from my youth leader, and of course the yearly repetition of Fathers Day. As I continued to mature, the relationship between mom and me worsened without the support of a 3rd party at home. I told her on more than one occasion how I would trade her life to have dad raise me. Behind all the hatred we displayed towards one another, we were still there for each other simply because wed lived under the same roof for 19 years. It was at that point of nothing more than obligatory acceptance of one another as family that our relationship finally began to heal. Having reached rock bottom, beings who strive for change can only rise up better than they were in the past. 8th-12th grade were not my best years. Rather than being marked by one key event, it became a lifestyle of suck. I had the same highlights as most of you: I made lifelong friends, found my first instance of real love only to lose it when she moved away, and I got a car. None of that could offset the fire I put myself through in high school. I developed an addiction to pretense. Everything I did was for acceptance, nothing for my own happiness. Things that had once held real, unadulterated happiness for me became tools of my own vanity. As a freshman I held starting positions at the varsity level in both soccer and basketball. The pride I felt wasnt for the accomplishments, but for the status which came with them. With my misplaced focus, the passion Id had for the games growing up was gone along with all the enjoyment theyd

Alex Brannon

9/24/11

Rhet 102 Saylors Sum of Memories Speech

once held. I left both sports the following year, and only rejoined soccer my final two years because of the close friendships I had with my team-mates. Until my first semester of college ended, my life was a fake. Hardly anyone, including my mom and myself, really knew me. As my first semester at ETSU began, I was still at rock bottom. The memories I carried to Lees-McRae are closest Id come to breaking, but also the herald for what would emerge. The girl Id fallen in love with in high school found me on move in day. It was the first time wed seen each other since her move. I wont get into the details, but as youd expect, the following months held more unfiltered emotions than Id allowed myself to feel since middle school. It ended over Christmas break and I said hello to rock bottom for the last time. No, I couldnt let her go. Yes, I begged my heart out. And no, it didnt get me anywhere. She already knew me loads better than I knew myself. Having someone who can truly claim that in your life is an incredible blessing, although I promise theyll piss you off every time they tell you the truth. It wasnt until I was finally able to let go of this girl, this thorn in my side that had shown me how to love with honesty, that I was able to become me. Everything, every bit of fake armor and every mask, had fallen away and left just me. From there, I could build and I did. I had my story of love, loss, and starting over. I had my life and for the first time in years, it was mine. Thats my story in 3 life-defining episodic flashbacks. Im still on the rise, somore to come.

Alex Brannon

9/24/11

Rhet 102 Saylors Sum of Memories Speech