Attack of the Snortin Honker

1977 nosebleed music BMI There was a giant pig He was really mastodont He was all covered in dew He had a sticky coat His coat was all matted up with suet and bacon grease There was another mother She was fuzzy like a squirrel She had a silver coat and shining She must have been his little girl The big one had black tusks Like Zal Nikor Zundorums horns We ran around the back yard Tryin uh catch the little un The Pappy lowered his horns And made as if to charge at us We picked up a big rock about as big as a stove I mean uhaboutreally fuckin big anyway {It was about THIS big! Meaningless noise and frantic coughing, sneezing etc.} And held it up he ran headfirst right inter it} x2 Cut off his head with Orcbiter Two hacks an off it come It look like a sliced hot dog It look like a sliced hot dog It look like a sliced hot dog The neck stump dat is Dah neck stump dat is Dah neck stump dat is Dah head roll away-Yeah...Yeah...Yeah Kelon tried to slice off a leg But the sword bounced off the bone He tried to cut it off at the elbow And the Orc slayin blade did moan Whoah whoah whoah Whoah whoah whoah Whoah whoah whoah Hweiapt!

Hero of Tha Beach

June 1974 Oool Fjolkunnigr Whoah down on the beach she was (Come an show me COWABUNGA) That liddle lady an her girlfriends a hangin aroun (Come an show me COWABUNGA) She had a Big Mac in her little beach sac (Come an show me COWABUNGA) She was in a bikini an her hair hung down (Come an show me COWABUNGA) She smiled at me when she noticed my arms And wriggled a bit revealing her charms She asked my name an I tol her what it was She asked my name an I tol her what it was Tol her what it was, Tol her what it was Wooo-ooo-ooo-ooo Im the hero of tha beach, Im th hero of tha be-be-beach (Youre the hero of the b-b beach) (Hero of the b-b beep beep beach) Oogarooga hun Glun Oogarooga hun Glun Gabunga gabunga Cowabunga OOO girl Come on down to mah little grass shed An Ill let you sleep in mah coconut bed You smell like sugar cane an your lips are so red Blif Nottzi Goin outa my head She smiled at me an she said come on! An wriggled her hips an I was really gone She tol me my name an this is what it was She to-o-o-l me ma name an this is what it was Whoo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo Youre the hero of the beach (thats right) Im the hero of the b-b beep-beep-beach Oh Yeah! Youre the hero of the beach (thats right) Im the hero of the b-b beep-beep-beach Oh Yeah! fade Dweeb style surfer guy Narration: (with random tape modulated pitch drops and munchkinization) Hey chick Hey girl ya wanna come over here An ride on my surf board Hey hey ya you Baby ya wanna I say Ya wanna come over an squeeze my muscles An go out on my surf board Well go on, on tha big waves Cowabunga? Ya its my name

You like to go surfing girl? Hey why dont you tell yer girlfriend over there she can come too? Uh got many other girlfriends? Ah how many come down for the season? You say a charter flight from Toronto? Ah thats cool dig dig Hey why dont you bring them all an come visit me at my place tonite You know over in those palm trees? Tha hut that says Cowabunga Well have a nice big fire an roast some weenies Ya ya ya you can bring your surf board too Ya gonna be(have) a good time! Then after you can take turns havin me fool around wid yez Ya well have a ball alright Any one seen my surf board? Hey girls come on! Where did you hide it? We gonna have a good time gbdnlnk

Dawn of Bindg
1974, Smithers, BC. Flies a buzzin squirmin twirlin Beasts a bellerin (arhgahgraarrrgghklsbhfnxhri) Timosgi raises his great ox horn Blowin the world note A sonorrin low Sol; Zouggles brother blazin bright The water droplets a hoverin Yggdrasil droopin leafy boughs Long the berserks crouched await The giant beetles, crawlin thither (click) Down through their lizard-like appendaged Long-drawn iced buzzers (bzzzt) A chitterin go Bows a twangin down the Gggenburgh Hiisi and Rushlight, a peerin through The shadowed leaves Instrumental break with narration: I know an ash tree named Yggdrasil Sparkling showers are shed on its leaves that drip dew Into a pool below by Urds well it waves evergreen Stands over that still pool Whence now there come Fate Maidens First rd, Skuld second: scorer of runes Then Vrdandi, third of the Norns The laws that determine the lives of men They fixed forever and their fates sealed Hilden Street archin from north to south across The night sky Mogul dreamin futduuk sparkle Timosgi a wavin flailin wrists Fimbletrb, the Entland A bristlin with life The Ol tree fathers A yawnin and a yearnin (yawn)

Choads Have Wheels

June 1975 Oool Fjolkunnigr Rollin down past Wooler Rd. Wooler on the 401 Fiddlin with the foot rest and feelin sick I say its so much fun My throats inflamed with a serious case of Ottava Express An old VIAU asks me where we are I said I couldnt care less Chorus: Take a ride on a Colonial choad I think the transmissions gonna explode Oh Take a ride on a Colonial choad I think the transmissions gonna explode Screw this crap I think Im gonna snap I say, Choads have wheels There aint no-one except deformees and turkeys Ridin on the choads Got a fossilized driver with a kink in his neck An a complexion like a toad Some old bat with a screamin brat sits there rollin her butts A wino staggers to the can but doesnt make it And his pukes out his guts Screw this crap I think Im gonna snap I say, Choads have wheels Bridge: What a high class clientele Theres a guy in the back seat (just passed out from the smell) No bumwad Boy thats neat Droplets all over the seat Had to suspend myself about an inch above the rim We lurch around a bend and I almost took a swim Rollin down past Carlton Place Im a gettin beat A Radio-Cameranese babbles how his light meters Jammed from the heat The driver drops the clutch and the choad almost Shudders to a stop He grates the gears and pops the choad into first gear We take off with a hop Unpleasant old Nazi woman Rap: I asked zat man if zis vas Ottava He said yes so I said he said NO I got in ze taxi and I vould not close ze door He said CLOSE IT! So I said NO (Back to chorus and fade)

Destroy the World

June 1976 Oool Fjolkunnigr Destroy the world oh oh Destroy the world Yes we can Destroy the world oh oh Bring on the end of society You can take your fuckin job You fat pretentious blob AND YOU CAN STUFF IT UP YOUR ASS You think youre bloody hot But I know that your not YOURE A STUFFED SHIRT FULL OF SHIT You can all suck on my knob I dont want your bloody job YOU CAN FUCK UP SOMEONE ELSE Youre a bunch of fuckin tits Without a scrap of bloody wits YOUR ALL LOSERS EVERY ONE Destroy the world oh oh Bring on the end of the government Destroy the world oh oh Bring on the end of society Youre a bunch of stupid pricks Suckin on yer bosses dicks YOUR ALL FAILURES EVERY ONE Workin at yer bloody gigs Like a bunch of fuckin pigs YOUR ALL MORONS EVERY ONE When I want some fuckin bread Ill come kick you in the head DONT YOU CALL ME A PARASITE If you think I am a leech You can suck on my peach CAUSE IM LOOKING FOR A FIGHT Destroy the world oh oh Bring on the end of the government Destroy the world oh oh Bring on the end of society

We Wasted a Lot of Time

June 1976 Oool Fjolkunnigr I should have known that your gonna waste my time (yes) But you know I never realized (Oh no) There were many times when I thought to myself (Yes) Dat youd never get dah knack (Oh no) _________________________________________________________ Chorus: Background vocal: We wasted a lot of time In the basement If I had to do it again I wouldnt do it the same again Id think it over more and then I wouldnt do it again, again We Wasted a Lot of Time in the basement

We wasted a lot of time ah ahhhhhh! Practicing for hours and days and Months and weeks (In the basement) For hours and days and Spending time FOOLING AROUND _____________________________________________________________ I always knew that you could learn to play it right (No) But I thought that you could learn to (Oh No) I should have guessed that it was all a waste of time (No) But I thought that it was possible (Oh No) (Back to Chorus)

Gamooned Ray #2
June 1976 Oool Fjolkunnigr Out from the dark in sunshine Gamooned ray gamooned ray In striped boots of puffy green nylon Gamooned ray gamooned ray Ray filigreepotato prints Leotard appendages Into the midnight tit twitcheries Scream free money free money Stone terrors stalk beside their human counterparts Gamooned ray you helpless fools Gamooned ray today In from outside: inside out Upside gamooned for ray filigree Gamooned ray Gamooned ray Iceberg gamoon Black fly ray Ray, ray gamooned in light Gamoonen, gamoonen Moonin in gamooned ray Ah kwill ah kwill Turrun tearin Turrun-toe* Ah kwill ah kwill Ray of gamoon Dray, dray, dray Ips, ips, ips Gtiggi, gtiggi, gtiggi In striped gloves of clingy polyester Gamooned ray gamooned ray Out from the light in darkness Gamooned ray Gamooned ray Gamooned ray you helpless fools Gamooned ray today etc. * Toronto, Ed.

Toads Jammin In the Lamplight Gutters

Dec 76 Oool Fjolkunnigr Sump pump guitars clickin down in the produce dump runs Spinnin round in circles, wavin their suction cup Toes in the starlight Water drippin round their holes and their black eyes bulgin Warty little harps, a squeakin out notes In the holed up dredge muck Hop hip hop hip ruh-did ruhhn Hop hip hop hip Brick-ada-brick-ada-kik-kik What dey play..is never wrong All dere notes..is always on Dey know how..to play dat song Every nite..out on tha lawn Every nite..out on tha lawn What dey play..is never wrong x2 x4

Spddsz
Them potato peoples are lookin at you Dere eyes is jes a poppin out Dere skin all a shrivelled They got split growth marks all inside} x2 You better hide your face Cause days gonna stare you through to the bone Once they latches onto yer Dey aint nebber gonna stop a starin Days so cruel dey hates all of human kind Cause it was us who did them in so long ago We is the ones who cook em up We is the one dat bake em up We roast em in dere jackets Ahhh (We roast em) And den well we ah jest a pop em in our mouzze} x2 Dey gonna fight back Dem Spddsz is gonna sharpen up dere tentacles Dem ol earth apples gonna mush dere way along Dey gonna tear you to pieces You You You You better better better better watch out for dem taters yeah watch out for dem old spuds watch out for dem taters yeah look out or your name is mud

Cause in dere eyes your jus French fries} x3 You might as well be a potato Leo-Kotke

Yellow Cars N Mars

Im sufferin alone since she went away She drove out of my life in a yellow car I remember all the times dat she used to drive me bananas But now Im sufferin all alone Dont know where in blazes I will go I done screwed up my life and she shot off Gone away down south to Rio in a limo I should a squared my life away till she bobbed back up But she left me holdin cucumbers in a Loblaws bag How could she draw herself out from me? Like an elastic thread So far and yet shell never come home I know Shes wearin her blue and white negligee And shes gonna stay away all day (all day) Oh darlin why caint you come on home? Im sufferin, cryin here lyin here all alone Lyin here like a sack of potatos with a sproutin eyes Close on up to onions but days sliced an makes me crys Ohh ohhh Ha ga ha ga haa Owww Oh In jail Im sposed to meet my baby in Atlanta But they threw me in the slamma in Alabama Lurkin back behind my bars I may as well be on Mars With my baby drivin off to Rio in that yellow Bentley Drivin off down to Rio in them yella cars May as well be on Mars Yella cars an a slicked-back muskrat dude Green carnation n a white flock vertical line suit Purple shades and gold nugget teeth Shiny glintin outa a pink lipped tombstone smile Sapphire ice cube silver cufflinks Tight sleeved disco button down jackit Pointy pencil shoes and a custom polished M 1 He took my baby away to Rio Yellow cars I may as well be on Mars Her Spanish red pout made her look like a trout An that dude got her hangin off his fly Why, why? I moan in my dusty cubicle I aint never gonna see that woman again I never gonna take her back home To my Philadelphia race track basement flat She aint never gonna see my possum faced landlady Shell never taste the true feelin of freedom In her fickle mouth

End of Elfheim

Oool and Zal Nikor Zundorum 1974 Over road rangers spurred bloodless by Mogl Odinns priests lead toward far reaching Zoggle Zgil swiim watchers Zgil swizzum eaters Poppin blood eye lost Fig-newts an stompkins too Far reaching flaying anthropoids Slimed slinking dragons tails Frozen armies in the Mudbog From A-God-land to Surturs Dales Grey breath slimed out their pores Flyin mice and screamin club moss Tree roots trailin Barked n groping Hiisi whispers deep his fears The Elf child listens, cocks her ears (Rushlight listens cocks her ears) Flying dinosaurs/ into the Niteland Berserk wolverines/ howl in the tree tops Fiery giant toads/ hop out of fissures Giant Centipedes/ armoured with silver Chain Mail Arr-gar-g-grmm/ snarlin remnant of Squeakin wolverine/ hoards a bitin throats An a tearin limbs/ berserk fury a Crouchin pouched beneath scream-/in tortured alders Giant sluggs and Beezle bugz Howling cries sunder Everlasting Mogl Valhalla shames the present into the past Zouggle swiim beware Zouggle svism hiddeth Poppin Blood Eyes gone Cookies an dough balls too

Honeybee
Wild and free with her live bait earthling Shattered my nerves with a marinated herring Honeybee wont ya give me a hearing Let me tell ya straight thats the thing that I bin fearing Her toast is too rough Her roast is too tough Aah-she wont cry enough Cause she wont try enough Why dont she light the curley-qs? Why dont she light the curley-qs? Why dont she sing-a-song sing along? Why dont she sing-a-song sing along? Why wont she make a perli-q? Why wont she make a perli-q? That dont she bring along ding along That dont she bring along ding along Oh her eyes are too tight Theyre poppin out a her head Shed better spin that thread Before the ginghams fled Just look little girl At the beans around your head Youd better operate the lever Fore they catch you playin dead Cause them flyin hornets are sendin buzz into your mind Theyre gonna ambulate the cortex Leave the rest room leave it blind Leave Leave Leave Leave the the the the rest of you behind best of you behind rest of your behind best of your behind

Have You Seen Any Ruler or a Racer Go By Here Bubbix?

(Have You Seeeen Any Racer Or An Eruler Go By Here? Jff/?)
Hag iron elm-Huldie streamin from pourin brown an purple subterfuge, Jerusalem artichokes thinkinin hungry thoughts: All about an includin their stinkin Ol pappy an his hairy genitalia, droopin out of his eyebrowlike cavities with pungent thyroid-squelching properties. Drain pipe massage: clear black earring besmirchings Electrified stereo haemorrhoid tissue, greenish drooping Festoons: drapery-like upon the greenish ahhh I dont smoke an I dint Smell-Speel-Speeeeel there. Im doing it. I laughed an went like that an it made a butterfly Hearing. Holding Theremingaiters, Ill try an make it into something quite nice. Hey thats whats I said! --Toad-green kangaroos with their ink-black faces Sea green pyjama-top people Twin star blades a crawlin Crawlin cross the open seas. Spewin toads an vipers outa their mouths, Said she cant live with her mammy no more Cause her breath stunk too bad. An she wouldnt let her daddy stick his finger in her twat (She screamin like Dagvweem in ala Ol sock) I got a hairy-Larry for you, he told her, kiddo. She giggled an gargled some gargoyle guts an went fishin for gallinules down by tha sewage dump, Tree toads snagged on her line Blood-red hippos crawlin beneath the pits (arm) Her stupid Ol pappy whackin his bappy Lurked an grunted he must be Jack happy She twiddled her thumb an jiggled her bum An out came the cum

Dem Trees Is Got Der Eye on You

The trees is watchin everything that you do Theyre just waitin for a chance sos they kin get through to you All the animals is dyin its a cryin shame Ohh good ole mothah earthll never be duh same All the trees is bein murdered Whooahwhoah Man should love his brothers in the sea an sky an plain Whoah, Live on the earth an treat it jus like your skin Oh come on everybody I know your gonna feel it goin in Whhaoa ho hoah Maybe just maybe things can change Just think about it Isnt there-something-that you could do If you really want to Youll think of something you can do To heal the wounds weve given Tha trees dont like a lot of things that we do All the fishes in the ocean wishes they could tell us too We bin careless for too long ya know I heard it on tha news If we dont clean up our act we are da ones dats gonna lose All day seas is bein murdered Whooahwhoah Man should love his brothers in the sea an sky an plain

Iug-Meorm
Animal snouts in furry hay Wet nose poking fire in day Moonlight simmers glimmers round Black chunk of heavy shadow ground Dank lunk of breathing earth Living elf breath skin of trees Please star-freckled shrew woman Hole of sweating earth for her Young uns tickling down in their nest Squeaks like ice n nice for mice Ends of worms in snug warm tunnel Dance like fairies in their funnel Shhhhhhhhhh---below Iug Meorm Shhhhhhhhhh---below Iug Meorm Fly on umber wings Bear to teeth flung badger Thread plucked pea green Sea green flea bean Three brained grebe With bottled nerves Mind force thrown in Parallel swerves

Tootie Frootie
Grab an orange Hold on to a grape You gotta shake-shake shake Pin a pineapple pear Stick a pome over there Drupe drupe drupe in a raspberry drupelet Strawberry fly gooseberry pie Traggle snaggle an snaggle a banana Chokecherry pomegranate lemon meringue Persimmons personally, kiwi delights Great fruits are grapefruits You ole prickly pear Love those papayas an mangoes the best Yer a golden delicious a juicy red Mac A sty apple pie an a blackberry snack Yer cherries need poppin Yer honey dew melon can be put to the test Yer limes lines are smellin Yer peanuts need shellin But yer pear-apple poppers Pop yer plums inside out

Bar-B-Qing in Tha Back Yard

Napkin greasies, ketchups bubblin on the pit Ol pterodactyl juicin on the spit Tyrannosaurus eggs over easy Spit pillow air mattresses Colossus rumblin forward sprayin phlegm Zoggles eyes glowin bright red Chorus: Suuna tearin Hum-a-zoo growlings Zoggles tendrils scratch the bozos Bar-b-Qing in tha back yard x5 Oh so damn hot oh so damn hot Zoggle spot Zoggles hot Bar-B-Qing in the old sump pump dump Hot dog mobile tunin his Sazarinki Banana bar-b-Qing dinkusses Singein the napkin greasies As Mr. Electric come downstairs Polishin his chrome fingers Hummin A bullfrog beat (Back to Chorus) Mr. Electric plugs in to electric eye Hot Dog Mobile calls in Fly Eye Hey lets Bar-B-Q Electric Banana Electric Banana Electric T-Norts Birthday Taxi (Repeat Chorus and fade)

Black Ice N Melted Rice

As tall as a tree sproutin edgeless rimmed wings Cloud pilin tearin limb from limb A walkin earth-squeezin terrors n thumps The sky roiled round and a giant glove obscured the horizon Cracklin spheres of ball lightnin Near a coyote howlin out on the twisted plain Vacuum pipeline wind whistled oer the stumpy meadow Bendin swish reeds and launchin fluff from cattail spikes n catkins Black ice n melted rice Black ice n melted rice The man in the moon whipped off his tattered rags And beamed a lunatic grin But the skeleton shadow flowed over the ground and tangled Whistlin down into the cracked mud map of the dehydrated Pencil dust riverbed Black ice n melted rice Men had howled to the wet dark god for a shake of his liquid locks But hed bin lopin through reed-thatched jungle halls and Squirmin up the sides of boulder-scrambled bones-of-the-earth (Black ice) Now hed cocked his ear toward the cracked parched voice of the plain As she wept dry tears an shuddered n coughed (Melted rice) He came tearin in from the east that night And all of creation bowed to his headlong plunge Black ice n melted rice Black ice n melted rice And now he was here with a twist of his wrist The skys black beanbags burst at the seams The plain spirit laughed as she sponged up the flood And the storm god spun his hammer The skys junk yard rumbled and the ground lit up Like a Nikon Hot-Shoe cup

Urcholich (Miss Universe 1999)

Black shadow substance flew in from the east Hairs and pointy spider-bristle handholds Corrugated vertical umbra-stripes Dilated shifting patterns On its sleep encased membranes Tendons of dark philosophers-stone-dissolvent Splayed from head like patch, Incubating universal solvent tears 13 fingered hands pulled inside-out stocking snags And a shoulder dripped icily down into The bubble gum stretchiness of Her elastic body Cantilevered cubes stacked in gravity foiling arrangements One blue eye stuck with an amber iris And an aardvark shaped pupil slash slit Mouth like a rip in a blanket Dark witch weave tattered round the edge Where fangs should be Screen nostrils expand and contract Tasting the sunrise sodden atmosphere ROAGG men call it Wizards slave Spun fear in tangled minds of wielders Patterner in dark designs Spinner of fear Norn of decay Weaver of fright Soul of the night Shadow embodiment Controller of malign elementals ROAGG the black

Harold the Fly-totin Paper-napkin Trailer

Frying pan in the oven, like a hairy pyjama toadstool Inch long, aphid-legged apple cider tooth enamel Squared up and rode along, galavantin fearlessly April-green leaf foldin flatulations Designed a hummingbird childs boudoir One apple spoke, lantern eyes n a cubic cheekbone Trapezoidal reflections yawn fervently, slanted forward Lurching horizontal eye membrane debaucheries Skeleton ear Harold Shiny lobed pointies Hairs grown outside-in from th inside-out From the inside t th out n back A lurchin ever forward n back t th side An out the bottom n foldin in on the top Along the back o the finger-ribbed cage Jungle sweat-hog Pete an his snotty old granddad Sweepin up the rejected, dejected outcasts From the foliage-strewn racetrack of their Chess board suits, n atomic energy inscribed cufflinks

Hair Raising Son of the Tauraggs

South to the nether depths of pzwis soul-stealers Shamed filled denizens of the black marshes Pin prick pine needle fastnesses Loaded with melancholy debris of a thousand tortures Blood seeping round chrome finger nails A sly salamander smile played about his mouth slit Tauraggs good for nothing black goat son Dressed in blue corduroy With a hat made of cedar shingle slivers Woven haphazardly into a fragmented fabric Black hole eyes with little amber lights Flickering meaningless secret information Hiding from the Cairn raisers Fleeing Tlindors Monstrous artkojola Hairs raised dustily down the nape of his turtleneck Icy blue nostrils flared at the sight of his maker Out to the grey Out from the water Into the fire Inside the end of all matter Teak xylophones tinkled inside the waves of his troubles All around him the din of hard blue rubber mallets Patterns of stereo backward acceleration Rise son of the Tauraggs! Creep forth from your cobwebbed coffin Pry termite riddled lid from your Sleeping place of a thousand years Stumble thou now into the radiation-drenched wilderness Over glowing boulders and into a blue crypt Green moon on the rise Ten galaxies utterly destroyed Contaminate the universe Ten trillion solar systems One hundred and seventy-six billion civilized races All destroyed at the flick of a switch The choice is yours mongrel freak: Do not hesitate in your decision! The mandolins whisper Greek Dances Fresh from the tree-line dwellings of the mountain folk They sing of forty-five degree plastic slides All to be rendered into dust At the twinkling of an eye

Gelatine D-Zerta
Red fluff floatin down A cellophane stream Like an ever widening breach in a wall Cries out in voice of steel In feel, in reel, impale Daisies lift their tainted heads Oer knives and scarlet lakes of blood An octopus squirms, his rusty cast-iron body Flower engines tear Down the walls of a German bassoon case, Streaking rays of purple And Ren-light drops shimmering through A cut glass pewter reflection Glistens, listens like an old toad Chide me or choad me I dont care if I never do no sink brushes! Gliding over a concrete and Plexiglas windscreen Erecting a screen of molten lava over a black coal pit Penetrating waves of toe-tongued thought waves Raisin their wings in a peaceful salute to the Celestial Celestronic Cosmic Ray Expansion Device* A small brass pin fits into a dnurled sprocket Brain tots glimmer in the rain like A shiny new pair O nail-clippers in gold Goggles appear on the scene Revelling in obscene exotic dance formation Tendrils hiss through the air like whip tip lips Slicing and paring their way over gastronomic Gadolinskii Goggles boggles mind behind find rind In kind a kind aligned in bindings * CCCRED, Ed.

Grey-Knobs Dance
Kaelfern men down the hollow blackness roared Elf held hold of forest Agog-blight Kaelfern men down the hollow blackness roared Elf held hold of forest Agog-blight Night Elk rides given throncen Elfheilm Down Kumu Kunus golden halls n dearth in earth in Dead mens Howes Branches asunder azure pools/thought in bearded Kegs of mead brewed deep in mossy cellars Paper leafs of rosewood bark cryin out in notes The dwarves laugh merrily pound their Quiet n loud wood songs Songs of Earth n Sky n Dale All riggin ringin loud n clear Echoes boles of mighty Ents Rumble loudly thrumming near

Martian Ice Caps

Ill sneak in the space ship with my little buddies Well reduce our stature to the size of rats We kin hitch a ride on the Surface Sampler Housing If we have to shrink some more well turn into gnats My baby and her girlfriends live up beneath the ice cap Latch onto yer buddies and well have a good time Shes a Martian mamma and her chicks are real winners Hustle up their snatches an youll have a good time You got a face uh like Mick Jagger Cept its all covered in bubbles Baby you aint got my kinda lips Darlin you just aint my bag of chips Your polar ice caps may contain Water but you just dont never rain Id like to stand upon yer rocks Id even let you sniff my sox (You can even smell my fetid armpits) Your polar ice caps may contain Life but I know its all a game Our Earth is really just the same You cant fool me I know yer all insane The relationship of the layered units to the polar caps is not understood Neither is the origin of the dune fields the searchlight features that transect Major topographical features without a change in direction are also a puzzle We dont know whether the polar region is presently experiencing a depositional or erosional cycle. We cannot exclude the possibility that the evolution of the polar region is now controlled by a climactic regime quite distinct from those that have existed previously. If we are fortunate enough to recover higher resolution imagery after the space craft passes the solar occultation period of superior conjunction, we may obtain insights into some of these TANTALIZING problems.

Norwegian Summer
Words and music Oool Fjlkunngr 1976 Walking up to the top of a mountain With my gum-boots on my feet Stompin on the humps of mush Striding oer the slopes of peat Rumbling trolls tauntings roll out of the mountain caves Chasms and crevices yawn in the dragons spine Norwegian Summer Norwegian Summer Looking down into the dales Maintains marching out to sea My young wife at my side in pigtails Fjords are beckoning to me River elves laughter pours out of the valleys green Frost giants crack the ice up on the cloud girt Fjells Norwegian Summer Norwegian Summer Rhythm shift to Stompin mode With my pack upon my back My horns arch from my battle helm My iron rune-sword at my side My mead flask to my hauberk tied The clouds are piled like wizards dreams Upon the crags and hel-spawned peaks The misty gates to Odinns land Flung wide across the shifting sand Norwegian Summer Norwegian Summer Norwegian Summer Norwegian Summer

Ragnark
By Zalnikkor-Jrgen-Ool 1977 Below Muspells shadowed beams The Aesir rode forth upon Odinns dreams Elves and dwarves battle hymns chantin Gleamin blades, runes inscribed War harnesses shimmerin n rattlin Mogul wanin pale neath Rainbow Bridge Trolls n Orcs marchin across Blood fallin like crystalline stars Creatures spewin from tunnels of Dayclar As the war horns thunder on Ragnark- Ragnark Fetid belchin gasses spewin From ElfhielmsElfhielms spores The land torntorn apart Tlindor hewinhewin paths Ragnark- Ragnark Monsters n devil men heraldin swift death Battle axes oozin n brains pourin out Ool lord of Enchanters blazin n dazzlin Spell to the foes of Odinn; father of gods Frost n ice twinklin from the eye of Ymir Mighty arms wieldin the gleamin ice axe Trolls fallin to the ground Elfheilm was burnin The land was Bucklin N the Kidz were appearin N the Kidz were appearin

Seems Like a Long to Come Just To End Up Here

It seems like a long way to come Just to end up here Such along way to come Just to end up here The snowflakes sift across my face An I take a deep breath just in case The snowstorm doesnt stop before I die I met a womanshe was a lady She brought me luck an a bottle of yellow honey wine An tol me she was mine all mine she gave a sign Gave me a signA sign that shed be waitin for me Just as soon as I was through Im lyin here soon I might be dead With the memory of her face etched into my head An the snow banks gettin warmer all the time I won that game with a wild card With the luck she brought it wasnt hard And I stumbled up the steps a feelin fine Well I opened up the door An I found her in her room She was lyin naked on her bed But she had met her doom Someone had shot her in the head But I didnt know who it was because I had just met her that very night I knew that runnin wasnt right It seems like a long way to come Just to end up here Such along way to come Just to end up here I ran until my legs gave way I was frozen and it seemed like the only way Was to write my story down as best I can Well theyll find me frozen-This is it With the pen she gave me on my mitt An this crumpled up piece of paper in my hand Seems Like a Long to Come Just To End Up Here x100

In Under the Thick Silky Carrot Tree

By T. Nort and Ool Ti Maki the second just strainin in his jiggers Cant think about nothin cuz E dont know nothin All the time shoutin sez you, the lil nigger S got trouble with his family; they know bout sufferin Youz alls all was makin fun a him Bout his soul food, bout his possum hocks bout grits n jowls too But dont say nothin cuz he dont know nothin Maybe if he can learn how to dance like a liddle fag Cuz its a hard livin live down n out on the street Bein spit at by all dat you meet Pickin bits o beer bottles out of your feet And not sayin nothin cuz you dont know nothin Chorus: Poe lil Maki Poe lil Maki II If only d deacon could reach out ta you In under the thick carrot tree Fergive all yer sinnin Fergive all yer livin Poe lil Maki II Watchin them rich-ys with their mint Juleps Pickin his nose with the bulbs of Tulips Always hafta lookin over his shoulders The whites of his eyes a spies a cigarette holders Am too damn ornery n too damn close N too damn sad n too damn mad N too damn damn n too damn bad D baddest cat D saddest clown D downest pair a lips dis side a town Too damn Maki II, too damn Blackie Maki II Teeth like pearls, skin like poo Lil tar baby Maki II

Stumpkins Pappys Goose Broilin Pan

Old a squeakin leather boots jerkin threads In a squeakin springs N mattress beds A good time in tha alley A pile o fun in yer back yard Yer pumpkin patch is growin wild Jes step out in yer back yard Into a world of wild life On the edge of tha creek Youll find yer heaven Each tiny twig has a pile o whoppers to tell Each curlin worm builds his house in tha logs Ooo Rah De Rah De Roh Boh Ooo Rah De Rah De Roh Boh A Rinji, Rinji Rojo Ahhl be yer back yard hobo Ill rummage through yer pots n pans N try n find some ole rug But all Im findin neath dah cans Is cutlery and goose boilin pans

Dancing In the January Apple Orchard

Hoops dangled lazily Over three striped tidbits Old fire forged doo-inzzs Teeter tottered along A protruding ledge The black be-spectacled Velvet draped doctor in a boat Began lazily creaming Sleigh belled idiot reindeer Sly fish*like slashed banana squirmy smiles Dangled n dance tip tailed swervies Across a puffy Orange face Tapering endless streams of terrible nerveless coughs Envelope sealing entrepreneurs Slithered hopelessly down Sewing machine needle tunnels Vertical line paring Paint stripper quart can Screwdrivers bevel in Cannibalistic frenzies Diabolic entities raise taciturn composures Toward a singularly grey stonework Ancient crumbly walls And shadowed lintels Crowd insect life to oblivious repetition

Touchdown of the Needle Ships

A black ice cloud of shattered Mogul dust Drifted in slow from the rim of the Fyntop Sky drift particles seethed in dust The needle sharp pencils of the star ships of the Planet Yr The colonisers veered to the right of the pulsar Drawn in by a merciless K-ray tractor From out of the Nebula OZBO appeared His translucent wings beat swift stroke through the void Eyes a red and encrusted with venom Violet fire spewed from out of his lips Tri-forked tongue darted out for a gauze bug Spoke the Helm to the Envoy: He winked in reply And led the star fleet Through a maze of black holes And into an uncharted region of grey That throbbed and pulsed with a sickening roar And made them puke From behind a white Asteroid Bozo made his entrance Window pane nose glistened wet and a-sniff Skin grafted forehead bunched up in six wrinkles His eyes starred ahead an is tail stood out stiff Directin the Kidz with a green full of dimples Dat blifnottsi birdclown led on to a Planet That hung in the cosmos from 9 hidden threads The ships swung down and landed on plains The Fur Qudur desert flew of in a cloud of Zazu Time (A cloud of Zazu Time) Green and white eye-nose droppins n lipstick holders Flew greasy round the fins of the Mother ship Fleshoid conspirators and rhombohedronal passengers Piled out pitterin onto the dismal plain Cecil and gaz and their immortal pals n enemies Spread out in all direction toward the horizons all 4 The new Planet to occupy and adapt to the new environs To infest the Earth ball with their whelp and Mae Wests OZBO and Bozo hovered up above Flutterin majestically on ratty skin pinions Bwa ha had and Ah, ah Ahahaed Their broken healed teeth smiled row on row Like tombstones and highway curve disaster railings Warty chins and scaly jawbones and veiny foreheads Off into the eternal nite of the pale grey sky They erratically zoomed in zigzag formation Staggered like uffoed and careened helter-skelter That pair of pussy pfleggommy fluked nitwits Wise beyond reckoning the envoys of gods

Dr X Meets Dwartf the Reckless

The air shook in its boots when the Doctor came forth From his archival lair in the dingy grey halls Hair stood on end and challenged the smog His breathing tubes twitched and his fingers tensed A discovery of a magnitude far beyond reckoning Had slipped through his paws but an hour before His eyes whirl pooled neath thought furrowed brow The tall Doctor strode and paced and pondered Doctor X hunched his shoulders His high khaki shoulders And menaced the breath of a single fly Doctor X had slipped, hed lost concentration Just long enough to let that secret fly by But Dwartf the reckless was hot on the heels Of that mysterious clue to the nature of gasses His eyes had not shifted from the path of the secret That was more than a secret for its nature none knew He shuffled his polka dot scarf thru his nose hairs And fearlessly dived in the bubbling vat His eyes glued slantwise and narrowed in slits He stalked tha gas analysis through a labyrinthine maze Through conduits of brass and retorts of puss He stalked tha gas truth fearlessly The doctor watched and waited Dwartf caught the slimy little devil and held it The tall figure of Doctor X Stooped down and smeared it on chromium pincers Dwartf strode forth they shook hands smiling And strode on down to the patent office Ripped off they were for their discovery They tear their hair in agony The secret remains hidden in government vaults Reserved for an ace up sleeve of the lepers The ultimate cure the industrial dilution

Tear drop dancing Butterfly

Well I sure aint got too many ice caps But truth o the matter is my own onion But people just dont see in their greed I can say all I can but I cant All I can say aint all that you cant But I reckon my onion is if you aint Fine kinda shinin star kindled Busting explosions smooth the oily sheen On a five dollar sewing machine needle Deedle, deedle Bulitotuminous cathartic caterpillars crawlin Petal tipped stamen root brambles Lichen rock sparkle stem hairs and sepal petioles Needle drenched sun stick resin and cones Squirrel tails flickin in the shade Neath blade unmade An trade hair and splayed air Flyin ducktail stoops takin fire in hand Land and green fungus persimmon pair-o-micii* Wing shone brood cone n glimmer flayed in slender Lined rhyme tail red file n Lyle n rile All standing stringent ale cakes all soaked like iron wasp Five golden bird beaks spit like curled tails While fathoms down their razor teeth impale Bubble dance neath hangin willow wand flies buzzin Heated air all shot with lazy waves and flyin scent N fly insect

Hrimalfs Enchanted Slumber

About klem the flying buzzard Beak twitchin Flyin through scattered motes Tree twigs moss encrusted Fresh spider webs netted high Above the Bear Gods den He emerges stretches his claws Lumbers down to the streamside Paws dig deep down/into sparkling Cascades/shimmerin trout in mouth Fish flies a flutterin Dead leaves Sparklin granite all red and black Jewels peerin out o the deeps Waves of shadow from the swayin branches lgrim strides forth but newly born His silver skin a gleamin Ig Merm starred nose a twitchin Peers out from under bracken Fern fronds tinkle lightly Hands spread the hanging vines Dark clots of dark umber shadow Driftin bout the boles of ash Rowan beech and elm Tower high above the forest floor Too long the forest sleeps In Hrimalfs enchanted slumber PENBZIM FWDB

Itunn Tale
Many armed beast ridin out of purple sage lands Towering elephantine oer miniscule hawk folk Beaks n pinioned wings aloft oer the shadowed realm Nrampz the eight-armed son of Vrozz Vvlaasks long lost giant spawn Swelterin neath the Magma hot torrents Of boilin oil a rainin down Of boilin boil a roilin roun Ha craned his scaly neck to peer Through cave dark shimmer-sheet Ipzwi, Crabwings half brother Fraught with howlin despair A-neath the granite feldspar cliffs That tower bove the slopes His deep and hidden lair atop The Ymirs bones a piled in chaos Nrampz a scowled his dismal mask A leerin down upon Ipzwi hawk the feathered huggin cousin laughed From hind toothless pecker Large in stature Nrampz put claw to Rune sword scabbard at his side His dragon spine armour a rattle He assumed his stance for battle Ipzwi snapped his screechin beak And fluffed his ruffled feathers His tail-feathers erected stood His claws a sharpenin on the rocks The son of Vvlaask charged a-foam His slaverin beak a drool The berserk frenzy howled through veins His sword arm thundered gore Cousin of Odinns memory soared Aloft from perch on crag Dropped gleamin shards on Nrampzs form Of grizzled fur and scales Nrampz scowled fiercely n spewed a spittle Roaring through the towering clouds

Ill Be Your King Bee Bay Bee

Beeswax and honeycombs Shinin in the drones body glistenings Pearly antennae knobs Bob in the waxen tunnels deep in the hive ho Buzz L dee dee bzz Zoom deedle deedle zah Think Ill go an apin Think Ill go a shakin Tickle some bees in mah Apiary Hard at work dey makin Honey z-zoom Bee bread buzzin Hexagon jelly drippin off a my belly Wont cha bee my queen bee honey I dont make a lot of money Come to my hive Ill make you bee alive In my king bee hive We can make some money Buzz L dee dee bzz Zoom deedle deedle zah Think I like your face Why dont cha come back to my place? Tickle some bees in my Apiary Well try hard an make some honey zzz-ooom Bee bread buzzin Hexagon jelly drippin off a my belly

Meorm of Iug-Meorm
Bugle bred bylmic trymes Fizzle glimp bur tenur Srazzome nil ef tur bymtil sevrip Iug Meorm pin tible sret Bzbzoglim-rd Gzgzoglim-bd The kitties laugh in sprite madness Dance on the grey mounds Dance on in gay bounds Moon grey stillness Showers round Falls on ancient hallowed ground Sings on waves of rippled thought Drifts through edge of sparking grott Eddies of force And swirls of course Eddies of course And curls of source

Wind Trll-Hungra
Fried fresh Elfheilm chatter Giants drain great brass goblets Living in rock caves the Hrimgrdr Power of the mountain Ice hoar frost gleam like blades of sword Grinding at the world mill Whirlwind bride of huntsman rides through silent host Hrosvlgr Eagle pinioned sits in heaven Far at Heavens furthest reach Heaves his mighty pinions in blasts of wind eternal Far as a falcon flies a summer-long day When stands fair wind under both his wings Kl-sihi, his great claws clouds Itunn screams in terrible fury Peasant folk pour flour in the air to still his wrath Three times did the north-wind steal the mans meal Ole poppin blood eye, he not going to put up with dat! Fifty sacks of flour drenched in giant sweat Hang from tall rafters over the great hall in the Naganthrlpoop wastes far to the north Where dwell hideous wights and stone trolls Cast in myriad shapes ad forms Boars and ice bears seals and white-wolves prowl In the frozen tundra crawling in frigid life Diabolic beings raise a whirlwind Cant ancient runes, throw small black rocks On sheets of ice and read the patterns formed Men in heavy furs and hides with stone axes Hanging from their sides Rough features, wrinkled leathern skins Stubble, grey upon their chins Perched upon their domed backs Leathern flasks and fins and tack

Attack of the Little Green Warriors

The sprouts have come The sprouts have come to stay Theyve occupied our plates (Those little green warriors) Theyre holding death at bay They fight the poison wastes With Enzyme powered infantry Chlorophyll tipped spears to poke To penetrate each cell Those ruthless little warriors Have come to make us well

Punk Rock Breatharian In Sudbury

Gonna detoxify my body gonna purify my soul After drinkin all this wheatgrass Ill be young Instead of old Got my bags of sprouts a growin in their spot above the sink Got my buckwheat lettuce sproutin Ooops I think they need a drink And I know in my mind that living food clarify my brain Sos that I can be real healthy I mean any fool can read If we all eat sprouts and grasses we can get our Colons clean And survive on Just Fruit! Gonna rejuvenate my blood stream gonna clarify my brain All the crap that I put in will have to make it out again I may feel like I am dying but I know its just the time For a crisis and an enema to wash away some slime Gonna be a Punk Rock Breatharian in Sudbury Im hopin all this wheatgrass juice will work for me Gonna be a Punk Rock Breatharian in Sudbury Maybe all this chlorophyll will get to me Gonna throw away my pots and pans jest heave em out the door With my sprouts an greens an juicer I wont need em anymore Gonna depollute my cells be squeaky clean in every way No more grains or dairy products Ill be mucousless someday Gotta clear away the mucous rinse away the slime Eliminate the fifteen pounds of rotten filth from my intestine Raw Food Raw Food etc

Zorms Birthday Masquerade

Fly in a spool Potato sewing machine gill thread hopper A razor blade Bwana A razor blade Bwana Root beer gill artichoke beastie Old Zorm tiptoed Tip-tired up dah stairwell Orporto Orzz howled in throttled mercenary pain Like the back of Idiot Bucks Dwee screens Dweee screens A razor blade bwana Log log log in za Oven oven oven in za Stove stove stove log in za Ol shoelace squeals shut Tight lipped old horse mouth Fallin like volcanic ash Blow-out the front tire A Moto-master fan sash Midas muffler shocks All dressed in spotty camouflage For Zormies masquerade

Taabnif Eglrr Skfnunga SgurGog

Iglogri Forest Shinin flat iron block footed sweart people Laughing spread their feathered pinions Eagles soarin swoop, mice catchin Talons clutchin feed em good Deep dark rock tunnels neath the oaks Dwarves mine shinin jewels and metals Trolls march tendrils wavin in the wind Scale scrapin in their leathery hides Eyes shine brightly out from spiny brows Bony ridges arch down their backs Tusks gleam polished silver tipped Spear points barbed in vicious hooks Cartilage plates their shoulder straps Iron rivets Head embossed Shields of obsidian Carved in relief Scenes of battle Ogres heroes Hill giants Boulder throwin Aesirs swords raised Frost Giants Frowning sons of Surt Giant beetle steeds Trolls to slay Ice clubs beatin screaming clay Click chatter by

Wings chitter noisily Foul smells Reekin slug sewn byrnies snails in sweat The Dwarf Enchanters invoke Andvari Iron-Wood Hag oft times height Svertrikgrimm All the hosts of nifel-hel Valhalls warriors clad in mail Dragon scales and shinin glimmer Wierded blades and laughing elves Deathless victory Bound for Iglogri Fjells The fields of Scromiric waving Ferns and rushes flying reptiles Beast and cringing toads Rabbits hoppin antelope and unicorns Galloping over the heart of the meadowland (Meadland) Scromiric land of field trolls

Yddrils Dog
Dah labds and Labssis twirlin in dah Squeeze bag jigs Dont hide yours Elf dah dust and fetid Bloom Trees Mackies in the cratered swimbin pool Liles of tha Valley back in de uh lane Festerin ooze neath the black fortress Out of tha sea eaze slime crept forth Waltzin Troll Chicklets fire goblet mud dog whackers Am nozzt Am nozzt Yddrils dog Yddrils dog Dah labds and Labssis explodin in merciless merriment Ill smash you wid me adze Blood spots n brain crumbs Gryphons on knees split heads spewin crust muffins Poppies n pus spill on the highway to nowhere Jazz drains their strapped on wrinkles The blood bath stirrers in acolytes rags A bunch of sticky tendrils tied up in an ol sock While the engine runs off in silence Am Nozzt Am Nozzt Yddrils dog Yddrils dog Fenrirs waistcoat hair and blood Yddrils dog Yddrils dog Pork pie meat blobs puss cream ice milkshake

After the Fimblewinter

Enlarged tonsil diaphragm Breathings Terror struck by Odinns battle visage Ten journeys to the great Svithiod Were made in the days before The vanes and Aeses made war on each other The ice swept down crushing swamps and life Fimblewinter draweth nigh Reckoning of the planets luxuriant growth The great northern paradise buried in A mile thick blanket of ice Poppin blood eyes flee from Ymirs cold Jotunn breath Golden cities stand amid the jungle Towers bite skyward Proudly awaiting the onslaught of the crushing glacier

The Fish Men

The fish men had come to see themselves as an endless pile of sardine cans unlike their ancestors the Ceratocasorns they had realized the folly of war. For thousands of years they had refrained from any form of battle and had destroyed all weapons, but three thousand years past. Their rivals the SHRO-Gah, still carried on their affairs in a more barbarous fashion But had of course smaller brains (about half the size of a pea) the attitude they held towards their superiors was one of total awe and superstitious fear.

Leaf designs reveal an endless array of serrations and spill off into understanding of alien forces and dementia. Ring-like in a strange sort of fashion they laughingly josh and chatter amongst themselves. Terrible to behold was the beast Terrible to behold were the few faces seen in the pouring rain Light had ceased to filter, Cascade like through the panes

Chicken in the Hen House (medley)

Ool Fjolkunnigr, 1979 Fox on tha loose an Chickens are a Goosin Chicken lickin scratchin peckin Colonels on tha way Kitty gizzard dinner Tractor in dah field Pigeon on dah lightnin rod Baby in dah well Chorus: Ah chicken in dah henhouse x5 Pahk Pk pk Pahk Pk pk Pkah*-k-Doodde Doo Pahk Pk pk Pahk Pk pk Pkah*-Any cock-L-Doo Pahk Pk pk Pahk Pk pk Pkah*-k-Doodde Doo Pahk Pk pk Pahk Pk pk Pkah*-Any cock-L-Doo Hay straw in dah farmers teeth Pigs a sloppin mud Cows a chewin cud Ol Joe Green in dah out house Chickens on dah loose x2 Dat seedy Ol canker from Quagmire Lagoup Give Ol Maw a bunt in the cunt Wing Ol Dad a hoof in tha tit Billy Sue a covered in cow poo Lookin jes like dem blackies doo

Bird Balls
Like motes of phosphorescent specks they group Around in circles spiral to the centre Acetylene carbon drifting on wind currents Small birds, large birds: their mind is one An ant-bee-locust drive unites their flocks The flow to centre primal atoms All chirping honking quacking humming The feathered races species mix To magnetically hoard in swarming balls Bird balls: great black pulsating bird balls As seen from down here They crawl like an ant colony As seen from down here A buzzin hive swarm Large prehistoric ostrich-like necks And leathery wings which scrape and rattle on wrens Warblers, thrushes, chickens n crows Festooned in a ball in the night blue sky Bird balls shout with a million voices Bird balls scream with a million throats Bird balls roar from a million beaks The valley echoes a million squawks Bird balls explodes in atom-kraft force Hurls pelicans pigeons head over heels Big bang bird ball pops in squeals Their feathers fall to blot out the sun And so it goes on, on and on The birds regroup the balls explode An ever endless storm of bodies Turn round the clock deep blots of time

Skeleton Hall
12/06/90 Thailand Skeleton hall, Skeleton hall Clink, scrape, rattle, chink Skeleton hall, Skeleton hall 4 A.M. ding-dong dog call Chantin' puppies, yowlin' pussies Floor keeps shakin, bacteria bakin' Sick 'farangs' ever wakin' Coughin' fever, sweatin' pantin' Hari Krishna weirdo chantin' Neath hangin' nets In Skeleton hall Lets all crawl And crouch in a ball In skeleton hall Skeleton hall Nailed up on the wall The skeletons may fall In Skeleton hall 3 of 'dem up an the wall Free of 'dem Their clattering call; I sleep, calm as a doll In the skeleton hall