Beware The Disaster Capitalists

Wednesday 07.11.
12
Beware the disaster capitalists

How America can rebuild a fairer society By Naomi Klein
Ugg o
12A
Jungle fever
Nadine Dorries down under
Hadley Freeman
Lady Di, Savile and Brooks
Miaow!
Meet the cat surgeons
The Killing III

Sarah Lunds back
Out of fashion
Shortcuts ortcuts
Entertainment inment
What will at Dorries debate ries h jungle? l ? in the j
h, Nadine Dorries. In her ongoing bid to add to the gaiety of nations, it has been announced that the MP formerly known as Nadine Bargery is out in the Australian jungle, ready to compete on Im A Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here. She decided to go because 16 million people watch the show, she says, and is looking forward to lively, heated debates about the abortion time limit around the campre. But what other treats can fellow contestants who include boxer David Haye, EastEnders star Charlie Brooks, comedian Brian Conley and former Doctor Who Colin Baker expect from the tempestuous MP over their witchetty grubs? And will learning about Nadines past and passions send another prospective contestant, the inimitable Grace Jones, running for Sydneys Blue Mountains? Nadine Dorries says she is going on reality TV to debate the issues
that gay marriage is a policy which has been pursued by the metro elite gay activists and needs to be put into the same bin. I have yet to meet a gay couple in my constituency or beyond who support it; in fact, the reaction has been quite the opposite. Great Britain and its gay couples dont live on Canal Street in Manchester, shop in The Lanes in Brighton or socialise at [sic] Gaydar in London. Except for all those who do, of course. She went on to say the policy is divisive, unpopular with the public while a YouGov poll published this year found 71% of people support it.
Elitism
In an act of jaw-dropping political harakiri, Nadine took to the BBCs Daily Politics earlier this year to say: Not only are Cameron and Osborne two posh boys who dont know the price of milk, but they are two arrogant posh boys who show no remorse, no contrition, and no passion to understand the lives of others and that is their real crime. On The Andrew Marr Show, Osborne replied that: Nadine Dorries, for the last seven years, I dont think has agreed with anything either myself, David Cameron, or indeed most Conservatives in the leadership of the party have done. For once, few people could disagree with either MP.
MPs expenses
At the height of the scandal in 2009, as the Daily Telegraphs revelations rolled out day after day, Dorries told the Today programme the newspaper was executing almost a McCarthyite witch-hunt; she had already suggested on her blog that everyone fears a suicide. That blog gave the impression she spent most of her time in her Bedfordshire constituency although she had designated this her secondary residence, which enabled her to claim expenses. She explained this to the parliamentary standards commissioner, who later cleared her of wrongdoing, by stating her blog is 70% ction and 30% fact. It is written as a tool to enable my constituents to know me better and to reassure them of my commitment to Mid Bedfordshire. I rely heavily on poetic licence and frequently replace one place name/event/fact with another. Later, she said this was a throwaway comment, and the gure should have been the other way around. 30% factual? 70% ction? Keep a close eye, viewers!
Abstinence ce
Despite evidence that US states nce that stress abstinence education have some of the highest levels of teenage pregnancy, Nadine last year called for this to be a key part of the British sex education curriculum, aimed particularly at girls. She justied this with much talk of how young kids are being shown to apply a condom to a banana. The bill was opposed by Labour MP Chris Bryant who called it the daftest piece of legislation I have seen, impressively avoiding the quip, absolutely bananas.
Abortion
She has already said she wants to talk about her support for a 20-week abortion time limit while shes in the jungle but will she talk about the 13-week limit she favoured when I spoke to her about the issue in 2008? Or the nineweek limit that someone calling themselves Nadine Dorries opted for while commenting on the Spectator website? When it comes to Nadine, you just never know ... Kira Cochrane
Christianity
Nadine has said shes not an MP for any reason other than because God wants me to be ... I am just a conduit for God to use. She has also said she constantly tries to do what Jesus would do, which conjures up the unlikely image of Christ in an alligator tank competing against Linda Robson from Birds of a Feather, while Ant and Dec cheer them on.
Gay marriage
On the Conservative Home website earlier this year Nadine wrote
Shorter cuts
2 The Guardian 07.11.12
Womens Hour
How great is The Hours Romola Garai? In the Radio Times, she not only took aim at Hollywoods weight obsession but described herself as a bra-burning, building-burning feminist.
Cut and thrust

Video mash-up merchants Cassetteboy have returned with their take on the US election debates. It contains Obama saying: If youll vote for me, I will st Donald Trump. Watch the clip at bit.ly/YvsCzp.
Cast away your Uggs th eir moment has pa ssed
Style
The Ugg boot is dead fashion world rejoices
Pass notes No 3,277 President Nazarbayev

Age: 72. Appearance: Part-time Albert Finney lookalike. What does he do for a day job? Hes the president of Kazakhstan. As in Borats country? Thats the one. Its an actual place? It is indeed. I thought Sacha Baron Cohen made it up. Afraid not. He just picked a real country and caricatured it as corrupt and very silly. So whats the real Kazakhstan like? Corrupt and very silly. Nursultan Nazarbayev has won two decades of widely criticised elections with around a 95% share of the vote, and even changed the law to personally exempt himself from term limits. Which may go some way to explaining why right now he is doing his best to emphasise the countrys silliness. Whats he done? He has instructed Kazakh scientists to go in search of the elixir of life, and, after two years and a few million quid of research, they have invented yoghurt. Hold on. He instructed them to what? To investigate anti-ageing medicine, natural inv rejuvenation, immortality. rej How did this all start? Two years ago a member of Ho the Kazakh parliament suggested Nazarbayev stay th on as president until at least 2020. To which he responded: Im willing to go on to 2020. Just nd re me the elixir. m As a joke, surely? Maybe at rst. But he then asked Kazakh scientists to look into the study as of the prolongation of life on three separate occasions that year, even telling them: People of oc my age are really hoping all of this will happen as soon as possible. so So they brought him a yoghurt? Well, they had to bring him something. Zhaqsybai ha Zhumalidov, chair of the Life Sciences Zh committee, announced their ndings last co week: We have created a bio-product called Nar. we It will be able to improve the quality of life and prolong it. pr And Nar is a yoghurt? Yep. Its also the An Kazakh word for food. In his defence, Ka Zhumalidov admitted there was still work to Zh be done. be Do say: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! de Dont say: Your works look a lot like Onken. Do
t may be an object of derision throughout the fashion industry, but the Ugg boot has refused to die. Over the past 10 years, sales continued to rise, and their squat, solid, shearlinglined shapes became the footwear of young Britons nationwide. Until now. The newest sales gures from Deckers, Uggs parent group, are down 31%. While this has been put down to mild weather and rising prices, its a minor victory for fashion. Uggs are undeniably comfortable theyre more often worn as slippers in their native Australia but the ubiquity of them, and their many imitations, has led to overkill. In a survey in 2010, they were voted one of the 10 items men dont like on women and a judge recently ruled
IN NUMBERS
Five uses for an old Ugg

1. Crap gloves Uggs are only unfashionable on your feet. Stroll around with them on your hands and people wont know what to think. 2. Insulation Got an uninsulated pipe about the size of your shin? Whack an Ugg on it. Problem solved. 3. Weasel beds Most weasels nd their beds cold and uncomfortable. Lets do something for them, guys. 4. Fashionista repellent A single scrap of Ugg boot worn on a lanyard around the neck will keep away all but the most foolhardy fashion snobs. Win. 5. Safer throwing boots Tired of accidentally braining a six-year-old when you hurl your Wellingtons across the park? Softer equals safer. Tom Meltzer
they can be dangerous to wear while driving. They rst gained fashionability in 2001 when they were worn by celebrities including Cameron Diaz, but recent advocates include Joey Essex: hardly an advert for a chic look. Rana Reeves, founder of brand agency John Doe, believes this has damaged the reputation of the brand. Id say theyre in a similar position to when Daniella Westbrook wore Burberry, he says. Recently, the rm has expanded into high-heeled styles with price points over 300, handbags, and even a bridal collection. It might be a case of one spongy step too far. Uggs core product is seasonal, says Honor Westnedge, senior retail analyst at Verdict Research. While it has tried to diversify into new ranges, these have struggled to achieve the same level of popularity as its winter boot collections. Westnedge points to the relatively high price of Uggs as a problem, and suggests that consumers are unlikely to buy more than one pair. Theres also the issue that they may simply be out of vogue. New competitors in the boot market include Hunter, Le Chameau (the brand favoured by the Duchess of Cambridge) and, recently, Converse. Fashion has long rejected Uggs it looks like the rest of the populace is nally following its lead. Lauren Cochrane
The Shard is no longer the tallest building in Europe, having been usurped by Moscows newest skyscraper, the pinkhued Mercury City Tower. Heres how they measure up.
310m
The Shard
339m
Mercury City Tower
COVER PHOTOGRAPH KEYSTONEUSA-ZUMA/REX FEATURES PHOTOGRAPHS STEVE BLOOM IMAGES / ALAMY, DAVID LEVEN E FOR THE GUARDIAN, REDMOND DURRELL/ALAMY
Pet food
Philip Schoeld fans are in uproar after he tweeted a picture of himself eating a guinea pig in Peru. They y are apparently delicious deep-fried and served with chilli sauce.
Technophobes ahoy
A new survey contains the surprising nding that 16% of people have never sent an email: could it be because those people were users of antediluvian search engine Ask Jeeves, which conducted the research?
Take that!
DJ Nick Grimshaw has called Robbie Williams not relevant to his breakfast-show audience. Perhaps he has a point. Robbie peeled his skin o for Rock DJ these days the best he can do for shock value is punching a pensioner in his video for Candy.
07.11.12 The Guardian 3
Hadley Freeman
Im sure theres been an election going on somewhere, but if youre sick of it, there are loads of other things to talk about
o I dont know if youve heard but apparently there has been some kind of election going on somewhere in the world. People voting on a prime minister or a prince or a president or something like that? I work in a newspaper oce, so Im pretty in-the-know about world events. The backwards state of our current technology prevents me from sharing my election thoughts with you here today but, rest assured, they are very deep and intellectual. In any event, there is a high chance you are a bit sick of this election thing already. Heck, Im sick of it and Im American. Lord knows how the Brits will feel tomorrow with all of their newspapers and news channels given over to 24-hour coverage of the thing. But despite the impression given by the media, there are plenty of other things you can talk about today. Important things! Pressing things! Things such as the following:
So Prince Charles asked Jimmy Savile to fix his marriage? And were supposed to bow to this man?
Did David Cameron compare Rebekah Brooks to a horse? Allegedly so, yes. The st gnawingly embarrassing texts between Cameron and Brooks, with the latest being Cameron referring to the fast and unpredictable ride Charlie Brookss horse gave him, are bad enough. But its the comment that Cameron allegedly said to his old Etonian chum when the latter started dating the then Rebekah Wade that is just straight out sphincter-shrinking. Better not mess this one up, Charlie, the Mail on Sunday claims Cameron said to C Brooks. Its the most important ride of your life. Because women are animals, you see, whom you ride. In bed. You see? You see?! Insert joke here about posh people preferring animals to women and children, stick head in the Cuisinart. How many lms does Skyfall pay homage to? [SPOILER ALERT, although seeing as youve no doubt seen the lms Skyfall rips o, its probably already spoilt] Loads. Home Alone, denitely. The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises, arguably. The whole Harry Potter series. And maybe its just me but that bit in Skyfall when [spoiler, spoiler etc etc] a certain key character dies at the end reminded me quite a lot of when Bambis mother gets shot. Cried more over Bambi, obvs.
Jimmy Savile, marriage counsellor When I moved to Britain from the US in 1990, I felt pretty much right at home straight away. However, I knew there were some things about Britain that I would never, ever understand. Last of the Summer Wine, for a start. Tommy Cooper. Les Dawson. Bros. And most of all, Jimmy Savile. The man was clearly creepy or, to use the British term, eccentric and yet that was part of his appeal. This was apparently the point of him and generally acknowledged. So even back in 1990 when the extent of his creepiness was not known, no one no one would go to this tracksuited 64-year-old who lived with his mum to ask for marital guidance. No one, that is, except for Prince Charles. es. According to the memorably named Dickie Arbiter, former press secretary to the Queen, in ueen, 1990 Prince Charles asked Savile to please help ase him x his marriage. It didnt work, Arbiter claried. Now, it has long been obvious that Prince rince Charles has the mental age of about 14 because only a particularly stupid 14-year-old boy would oy tell a woman that he would like to be reincarnated incarnated as her tampon, as most adult men are aware ware of what tampons actually do and only vampires could get turned on by that. But, in using Savile as a marriage counsellor, Charlie truly excelled himself and reminded the world at large that his ignorance about women does not end at a physical level (Diana, according to her former protection ocer, Ken Wharfe, was not a great fan of Saviles). Did he look at his boo-hoo bwoken mawwiage and want Jim to Fix It? Did he think he would get an ickle-wickle badge? My God and were supposed to bow to this man?
Diana, Princess n of Wales: no fa le of Jimmy Savi and unlike her husb
That hideous article in the Sunday Times about Judaism This is possibly not a national talking point, but, damn it, it should be. According to a certain article in a Sunday Times supplement magazine last weekend, British Jewishness has suddenly week become a hip cultural talking point. Oh thank beco b you, Sunday Times, for the validation! Put it down to a search for exoticism, the P magazine suggested. Ah yes exoticism. We maga Jews really are so very Other, what with spooky voodoo ways and our foreign accents. [Or] maybe vood its th attraction of the monetary rewards conthe nected with being Jewish, but todays celebrities necte are le shy about talking about their roots. You less whatty the what? Hey, Mel Brooks, Woody Allen what and Philip Roth when was it that prominent Jews last hid their faith? 1945, perhaps? And Je as for the monetary rewards connected with a being Jewish, I cannot deny it, we Jews b do hoard our shekels. We gaze upon them d adoringly while we rub our hands with Shylockian glee. Theres not as much stigma attached to being Jewish as there used to be, some t talking head added, apparently just having t woken up from a nap that began in 1937. w Sadly, I couldnt read the rest of the article S as my giant hooked nose blocked my view, but I think we all get the picture.
PHOTOGRAPH TIM GRAHAM/GETTY IMAGES
The destruction caused by Sandy oers a real chance to rebuild a fairer society. But, warns Naomi Klein, big corporations will try to seize the upper hand. Dont stand by and let them!
After the storm

believes that can change. There were some bridges that were washed out in New Jersey that need structural replacement, and its going to be very expensive, he told the Nation. And so the government may well not have the money to build it the right way. And thats when you turn to a P3. The prize for shameless disaster capitalism, however, surely goes to rightwing economist Russell S Sobel, writing in a New York Times online forum. Sobel suggested that, in hardhit areas, Federal Emergency Management Agency (Fema) should create free-trade zones in which all normal regulations, licensing and taxes [are] suspended. This corporate free-for-all would, apparently, better provide the goods and services victims need. Yes, thats right: this catastrophe, very likely created by climate change a crisis born of the colossal regulatory failure to prevent corporations from
ess than three days after Sandy made landfall on the east coast of the United States, Iain Murray of the Competitive Enterprise Institute blamed New Yorkers resistance to Big Box stores for the misery they were about to endure. Writing on Forbes.com, he explained that the citys refusal to embrace Walmart will likely make the recovery much harder: Mom-and-pop stores simply cant do what big stores can in these circumstances, he wrote. He also warned that if the pace of reconstruction turned out to be sluggish (as it so often is) then pro-union rules such as the Davis-Bacon Act would be to blame, a reference to the statute that requires workers on public works projects to be paid not the minimum wage, but the prevailing wage in the region. The same day, Frank Rapoport, a lawyer representing several billiondollar construction and real estate contractors, jumped in to suggest that many of those public works projects shouldnt be public at all. Instead, cash-strapped governments should turn to public private partnerships, known as P3s in the US. That means roads, bridges and tunnels being rebuilt by private companies, which, for instance, could install tolls and keep the prots. These deals arent legal in New York or New Jersey, but Rapoport
Real estate agents are predicting that back-up generators will be the new status symbols
treating the atmosphere as their open sewer is just one more opportunity for further deregulation. And the fact that this storm has demonstrated that poor and working-class people are far more vulnerable to the climate crisis shows that this is clearly the right moment to strip those people of what few labour protections they have left, as well as to privatise the meagre public services available to them. Most of all, when faced with an extraordinarily costly crisis born of corporate greed, hand out tax holidays to corporations. The urry of attempts to use Sandys destructive power as a cash grab is just the latest chapter in the very long story I have called the The Shock Doctrine. And it is but the tiniest glimpse into the ways large corporations are seeking to reap enormous prots from climate chaos. One example: between 2008 and 2010, at least 261 patents were led or issued relating to climate-ready crops seeds supposedly able to withstand extreme conditions such as droughts and oods; of these patents close to 80% were controlled by just six agribusiness giants, including Monsanto and Syngenta. With history as our teacher, we know that small farmers will go into debt trying to buy these new miracle seeds, and that many will lose their land. In November 2010, the Economist ran a climate change cover story that
provides a useful (if harrowing) blueprint for how climate change could serve as the pretext for the last great land grab, a nal colonial clearing of the forests, farms and coastlines by a handful of multinationals. The editors explain that droughts and heat stress are such a threat to farmers that only big players can survive the turmoil, and that abandoning the farm may be the way many farmers choose to adapt. They had the same message for sherfolk occupying valuable oceanfront lands: wouldnt it be so much safer, given rising seas and all, if they joined their fellow farmers in the urban slums? Protecting a single port city from oods is easier than protecting a similar population spread out along a coastline of shing villages. But, you might wonder, isnt there a joblessness problem in most of these cities? Nothing a little reform of labour markets and free trade cant x. Besides, cities, they explain, have social strategies, formal or informal. Im pretty sure that means people whose social strategies used to involve growing and catching their own food can now cling to life by selling broken pens at intersections, or perhaps by dealing drugs. What the informal social strategy should be when superstorm winds howl through those precarious slums remains unspoken. For a long time, climate change was treated by environmentalists as a great equaliser, the one issue that aected everyone, rich or poor. They failed to account for the myriad ways by which the super rich would protect themselves from the less savory eects of the economic model that made them so wealthy. In the past six years, we have seen in the US the emergence of private re ghters, hired by insurance companies to oer a concierge service to their wealthier clients, as well as the short-lived HelpJet a charter airline in Florida that oered ve-star evacuation services from hurricane zones. Now, post-Sandy, upmarket real estate agents are predicting that backup power generators will be the new status symbol with the penthouse and mansion set. For some, it seems, climate change is imagined less as a clear and present danger than as a kind of spa vacation; nothing that the right combination of bespoke services and well-curated accessories cant overcome. That, at least, was the impression left by the Barneys New Yorks pre-Sandy sale which oered deals on sencha green
Destruction caused by Hurricane Sandy in Breezy Point, New York tea, backgammon sets and $500 throw blankets so its high-end customers could settle in with style. So we know how the shock doctors are readying to exploit the climate crisis, and we know from the past how that story ends. But here is the real question: could this crisis present a dierent kind of opportunity, one that disperses power into the hands of the many rather than consolidating it the hands of the few; one that radically expands the commons, rather than auctions it o in pieces? In short, could Sandy be the beginning of A Peoples Shock? I think it can. As I outlined last year, there are changes we can make that actually have a chance of getting our emissions down to the level science demands. These include re-localising our economies (so we are going to need those farmers where they are); vastly expanding and reimagining the public sphere to not just hold back the next storm but to prevent even worse disruptions in the future; regulating the hell out of corporations and reducing their poisonous political power; and reinventing economics so it no longer denes success as the endless expansion of consumption. Just as the Great Depression and the second world war launched movements that claimed as their proud legacies so-
cial safety nets across the industrialised world, so climate change can be a historic occasion to usher in the next great wave of progressive change. Moreover, none of the anti-democratic trickery I described in The Shock Doctrine is necessary to advance this agenda. Far from seizing on the climate crisis to push through unpopular policies, our task is to seize upon it to demand a truly populist agenda. The reconstruction from Sandy is a great place to start road testing these ideas. Unlike the disaster capitalists who use crisis to end-run democracy, a Peoples Recovery (as many from the Occupy movement are already demanding) would call for new democratic processes, including neighbourhood assemblies, to decide how hard-hit communities should be rebuilt. The overriding principle must be addressing the twin crises of inequality and climate change at the same time. For starters, that means reconstruction that doesnt just create jobs but jobs that pay a living wage. It means not just more public transit, but energy-ecient, aordable housing along those transit lines. It also means not just more renewable power, but democratic community control over those projects. But at the same time as we ramp up alternatives, we need to step up the ght against the forces actively making the climate crisis worse. That means standing rm against the continued expansion of the fossil fuel sector into new and high-risk territories, whether through tar sands, fracking, coal exports to China or Arctic drilling. It also means recognising the limits of political pressure and going after the fossil fuel companies directly, as we are doing at 350.org with our Do The Math tour. These companies have shown that they are willing to burn ve times as much carbon as the most conservative estimates say is compatible with a liveable planet. Weve done the maths, and we simply cant let them. Either this crisis will become an opportunity for an evolutionary leap, a holistic readjustment of our relationship with the natural world. Or it will become an opportunity for the biggest disaster capitalism free-for-all in human history, leaving the world even more brutally cleaved between winners and losers. When I wrote The Shock Doctrine, I was documenting crimes of the past. The good news is that this is a crime in progress; it is still within our power to stop it. Lets make sure that, this time, the good guys win.
PHOTGRAPH JULIE HAU/CORBIS
f he could see himself now, Harry would be horried. Slackmouthed, out for the count, he has got drips going into him, tubes coming out of him, wires and sensors everywhere you look. And now the nal indignity: someone is taking the clippers to that rich golden fur. Poor thing, says a nurse. He isnt half going to look weird. Theres worse to come. A neurosurgeon called Patrick Kenny is about to insert two stainless steel pins into Harrys skull. To these he will t a clamp, immobilising Harrys head. His jaws will be wedged open. Then Kenny will cut a tiny hole through the back of the roof of Harrys mouth and, in an operation that will last more than four hours, set about removing a pea-sized tumour from a vital gland at the base of his brain. Harry is a cat. A 12-year-old maine coon, in fact. Hes a big old fella, as maine coons generally are, but Harry is considerably bigger than he should be, because the tumour on his pituitary gland is causing it to produce far more growth hormone than it should, a condition known as acromegaly. This has led to one of the diseases most common complications: uncontrolled diabetes, as the excess hormone counters the eects of insulin. So Harry has needed insulin injections, and lots of them: 12 units, morning and night. Its miserable and according to Harrys owners, Richard and Tracy Mills, its not making any appreciable dierence. The options, says Stijn Niessen, lecturer in internal medicine at the Royal Veterinary Colleges Queen Mother hospital for animals (QMHA) near Potters Bar, Hertfordshire (which is where we are), are not plentiful. You can continue controlling the diabetes with insulin, says Niessen, as eight vets and nurses in surgical scrubs busy themselves purposefully around Harry, at out on the table, but thats a bit like mopping the oor with the tap turned on. The tumour continues to grow slowly but there will eventually be a neurological impact. Theres radiation therapy, but that is long and tough: between ve and 10 sessions, each requiring a general
I could name 100 diseases humans and animals share and the list would not be complete
anaesthetic, and with no guarantee of success. There are also drugs called somatostatins, which inhibit the growth hormone, but theyre not generally very useful, at least not in cats. Or theres this operation: which is, well ... rather new. In fact, it has been done a bare handful of times, and only once before in Britain, here at the QMHA. The risk, Niessen says, is very real: Harry could die. But the owners, he says, were of the opinion that it was better to attempt it. Not doing so would mean the tumour getting worse, Harry continuing to live with uncontrollable diabetes, and his quality of life being very poor and deteriorating. And thats what its about: quality of life for the animal. Thats why we do this. Thats why were here. Some people, of course, will question whether it is right for a shining, state-of-the-art institution like the QMHA, perhaps the nest of its kind in the world open round the clock, 365 days a year, employing 200-plus highly qualied sta, with spacious consulting rooms, cutting-edge operating theatres, the latest in ECG, CT and MRI equipment, a hydrotherapy tank and even a blood donor programme to be devoted to treating pet cats and dogs (companion animals is now the preferred term). The QMHA treats up to 8,000 patients a year, most referred by their vets, for every conceivable condition: from acute heart failure to advanced neuromuscular disorders, malignant tumours to gastrointestinal disease, joint replacements to epilepsy. The array of disciplines oered here, says Holger Volk, genial head of the hospitals small animal group, is as complete as anyone could want: anaesthesia, cardiology, dermatology, emergency and critical care, internal medicine, neurology, oncology, opthalmology, orthopaedics, soft-tissue surgery. To the uninformed visitor, it does indeed look more like a plush private healthcare facility for wealthy, or at least well-insured, humans. At reception, the only giveaway in the temporary absence of any pets is a polite but, one imagines, vitally important notice: To ensure the safety of all patients, we would ask our clients to keep cats in their baskets and dogs on leads at all times. This is plainly not an argument likely to be settled any time soon. Suce it to say you wont nd anyone here, sta or owner, who does not believe absolutely, like Niessen, that if an operation like the one now being performed on Harry can win the patient even a year or two of real
Twelve-year-old cat Harry has an operation to remove a tumour from his pituitary gland
PHOTOGRAPH DAVID LEVENE FOR THE GUARDIAN
The pet surgeons

Many devoted owners are happy to spend thousands on brain surgery for their cats and dogs and these operations could help save human lives too, reports Jon Henley
Images from 12-year-old Harrys surgery. And (below), at home after his full recovery.
quality of life, it is worth the 3,000-odd it will end up costing his owners insurance company (some bills can be nearly twice as high). But there is another good reason for doing this particular operation. Whats fascinating is that this disease is quite rare in humans, but quite prevalent in cats, says Niessen. And we still dont know what causes these tumours. Are there genetic factors? So these tumour cells will be cultured, and researchers will try to nd out whats gone wrong with the gland. This operation could change the way we deal with this disease in people. The concept of one medicine or one health the idea that human and veterinary medicine are not divided, but can and should complement each other is not new. Such giants of the profession as Rudolf Virchow, known as the father of modern pathology, and Sir William Osler, a founding professor at Johns Hopkins hospital and considered the inventor of modern medical teaching, both preached it, eloquently, in the 19th century. But despite the fact that a number of diseases are shared by humans and animals, it has only lately begun to gain traction, spurred in particular by the similarities discovered recently between the gene proles of humans and many animals. In 2007, the American Veterinary Medicine Association launched a drive to unite human and veterinary medicine to improve animal
PHOTOGRAPHS DAVID LEVENE FOR THE GUARDIAN
and public health, while in Britain the Wellcome Trust is now funding ve years of research at Imperial College into the historical convergences between human and animal medicine. Niessen believes the communities can learn from each other. Around 80% of diabetic cats have Type 2 diabetes the condition thats costing the NHS 1m an hour, he says. There are similarities between inammatory bowel diseases in dogs and Crohns disease, and between Cushings disease and hyperthyroidism in cats. Cancers: lymphoma, leukemia. I could name you 100 diseases humans and animals share and the list would not be complete. Human medicine, Niessen continues, puts a lot of money and eort into trying to replicate these diseases, in mice for example. That can certainly help. But at best theyre basically models not the naturally occurring disease. And yet in cats and dogs we have those very diseases, occurring naturally. Some very respected human medics are already persuaded of the possible benets of a more integrated or at least a more collaborative approach. Niessen works with Prof James Shaw, professor of regenerative medicine for diabetes at the University of Newcastle. He says doctor-vet collaboration is only touching the surface at the moment and could potentially prove really very exciting. Shaw says regenerative medicine cell and tissue transplantation, gene therapy in pets holds enormous promise, both in the benets it can oer patients and in the development of therapies that may also work with humans. Rodents, he says, are not so helpful: What we see in mice isnt necessarily the same as what we see in humans. Cats and dogs, on the other hand, look much more like human patients. Its becoming increasingly clear that the diseases are very similar. And whereas regulations are just as stringent as for a regenerative medicine trial on a person, with companion animals its more acceptable, simply because the risk-benet is dierent. Not, he emphasises, that this is a cheap and cheerful way of doing animal testing. Youre talking about real utility and benet to an animal with a relatively short life who is unwell. Just like a human. The benets to these animals will be there, clinically. Hopefully, they will be for Harry. Kenny, the neurosurgeon, is now well into his operation, working with erce precision, aided by a computer monitor displaying data and images from a prior CT scan of Harrys brain. Niessen, manning the IV lines, is the hormone man. Were removing a tumour from
an essential gland here. Harry will need cortisone infused, his glucose levels could be an issue, salt and water will be really important ... The potential for the patient to become unstable is very high. For most of the owners whose animals are treated here, of course, one medicine means little. They are simply devoted to their pets, and want them to get better. Nigel and Ros Gale from Whitstable have brought their seven-year old German shepherd for a checkup after surgery six weeks ago; Max has a serious immune-system disorder. Theres no cure, says Nigel. Its about maintenance now. The couple are uninsured, and have spent 6,000 on their dog since he rst fell ill. But what, asks Nigel, is the alternative? I certainly dont see one. Darren and Margaret Mangan from Uxbridge feel the same about Charlie, a three-year-old springer spaniel. Charlie very nearly died earlier this year: Bleeding from his spinal cord, lost the use of back legs, says Darren. Platelet count was at zero. Blood oozing from every orice. He was put on steroids and they did his immune system in. Attacked his prostate, liver, kidneys. After two weeks at the QMHA and a bill of 5,500 Charlie is now pretty much himself again. The Mangans, thankfully, were insured (Best 12 a month I ever spent, says Darren). But even if we hadnt been, youd have to have paid. I cant understand people who dont. Hes just such a lovely
Mrs Cameron s Diary The joys of text
fellow. Our best mate. You couldnt ever get rid of him. Like every owner I meet, Collette Parker, whose cat Henry has been hit by cars twice in 10 months, is beyond grateful to the hospital and its sta. Theyre just brilliant, she says. They call every day, even late in the evening, to keep you posted. They really, really care. Henrys had his leg pinned, hes had a bone graft, hes got an external leg frame. I think they must send the sta on a special cat-whispering course. Theyre just amazing. They come, certainly, from around the world to work here. Clinical veterinary medicine in Britain is recognised as pretty much the best there is (there are almost as many specialists working here as in the whole of the rest of Europe), but this hospital in particular, says neurologist Birgit Parzefall, who has nally made it after three attempts to the QMHA from her native Germany, is seen as exceptional. Stefano Cortellini from Rome, working in emergency and critical care, says its
I think they must send the sta on a cat-whispering course. Theyre just amazing
right at the top of everyones list. They come here, Niessen says, because they want to make things better. Make untreatable illnesses treatable, and treatable illnesses curable. Most could probably earn more elsewhere: the QMHA is self-nancing, and not for prot. I earn half what I could make in some places, says Volk frankly, watching two nurses take Ale, a dachshund recovering from major spinal surgery to correct a disc problem, for a walk down the corridor in a supporting sling. But people come, and stay, because its cutting-edge. Were advancing veterinary science. Theres little doubt of that as far as Harry is concerned. A week after the op, I speak to his owners. The couple are insured, and didnt think long about having the operation: Its about quality of life, Tracy says. He wouldnt have had much without it. And if it can benet other cats, and even maybe humans, then so much the better. Did it work? Hes ne, says Tracy. Hes eating more moderately, and his characters starting to come back if you put your head down, on his level, hell give you this aectionate little head-butt, like he used to. More importantly, says Richard, the diabetes appears to have gone: Harrys blood-sugar level seems to be at the right level, and he hasnt needed any insulin since the operation. None. Its been a complete success.
So thanks to Levebum nobody has thanks t Levebum nobody h a d texted about the texts which would have been ne & I could have just gone :) back. I said to Mummy I swear it is literally like living in a fucking Jane Austen with everyone phoning & saying sorry for soz and going OH MY GOD HOW COULD HE, tbh I do not know how I will cope if talking really is back in? Plus we are already so busy with intermittent fasting which is uber-complicated, big props to Picklesy, I mean who knew there were only 21 calories in a yumyum, and Dave is desperate to nish his gangnam, as in they are still looking for a horse prepared to straddle Hunty, how typical is it that just when you need a horse all the ones you know are basically either dead or Rebekahs? Mummy was like, darling leave it to me, God, who do we know who does NOT have a horse, and I was like, but it SO has to be the right horse, ie an outgoing & progressive type Dave says, denitely fast & quirky but not in your face lefty or headstrong, sort of like Helena Bonham Carter but taller and a horse? Anyway the entire Mummy-horse conversation could have been done in 3 texts, I went to Dave, babes, seriously is it not time people appreciated your amaze work ethic ethic? So Dann gets a calculator & we Danny go right, if one text = three hours of actual Rebekah going Dave, just wait Reb till you see my new bespoke jodhpurs Charlie says they are too tight round say my botty, typical killjoy Etonian, and Dave going better too tight in the goin bum depa bum department than falling down haha, and her going Oh Dave you are SO my kind of fella, typical fun kin Etonian, imagine I am still in my Etoni scanties what would Sam say, scan she is such a serious person tbh I am a tiny bit scared of her, a boohoo, and him going dont bo cry, Sam is just shy, honestly cr she wishes she had your sh outgoing personality, you o two should get together more t often, yadda yadda yadda, o that means 150 texts of th remote Murdoch stroking = job re done + 18 days saved for public do service, suck THAT up Chris ser NSFW Bryant :( NS As seen by Catherine Bennett
Style
IND OOR GOES OU TDOOR
Its a wr
Whether you want to keep warm or simply look hot, Simon Chilvers and Lauren
AT T E NT IO N! MI L I TA RY S TY L E
VICTORIA BECKHAM
The Margiela for H&M collection will re-invent the idea of duvet days when its ts hero piece, the duvet coat, t, (complete with grey removovable cover) goes on sale next week. Loungewear also lso has the power to leave the e house see Stella McCartney out and about recently y in a snappy gold jogger suit. it. Meanwhile, PJs and fancy slippers refuse to stay indoors: Markus Lupfers jolly lly Whistles collection includes des heart-print pyjamas while e Newbark is the hottest new w name in slippers-as-shoes. s.
STELLA MCCARTNEY
Above Above: Pyjama top, 125, by b Marku arku Markus Lupfer for Whistles. Below Below: Slippers, 215, by Newb Newbark, from Dover Street Market, 020-7518 0680 Marke Right: Oversized duvet coat, Right 179.99, by Margiela for H&M 179
GIVE IN TO WHI TE SHOES
Evidence is mounting that suggests resistance to this trend is futile. 1) Cline does them. 2) Editor of British Vogue Alexandra Shulman has been raving about wearing a pair of white patent Manolo Blahniks with pointed toes and 3in heels. 3) Marion Cotillard (right) nished her next-season Raf Dior dress with a pair last week. 4) Carine Roitfeld, super inuential editor, has been wearing them constantly for the past few months. 5) OTK boots might be warmer but are now a bit two winters ago.
Court shoes, 220, by Kurt Geiger, kurtgeiger.com
White boots, 345, by Rachel Comey, from asos.com
Inuential labels such as Alexander McQueens McQ, Victoria Beckham and Burberry all backed the blockbuster military trend. Think khaki, nipped-in belts and, most importantly, great coats. Nineteenth-century military uniforms are the inspiration, now knee-length, doublebreasted styles are civilian favourite. M&S has seen them marching out the door 30,000 have been sold already.
White loafers, 65, by Oce, oce.co.uk
Left: Military coat, 110, by Marks & Spencer, marksandspencer.com
THE QUALITY STREET EFFECT
CL I N E UP YO UR S CA R F
Ahead-of-the-curve, Burberry did chocolate-box sweetie-wrapper colours for spring/summer 2013, so adopting shiny metallics now is canny. Dame Vivienne is already on it she recently wore an Orange Cream wrapper jacket. Shine is also a way to lift your hefty winter coat try a gold Whistles laceup shoe or the Margiela H&M purple or silver hi-shine clutch.
Silk scarf, 64.90, by 9 rque.c Uterqe, uterque.com
Scarf, 260, b Peter by m selfridges.com Pilotto, from sel
rap up r
Above right: Candy clutch, 34.99, by m Maison Martin Margiela for H&M,hm.com Right: metallic shoe, 125, by Whistles, whistles.co.uk Scarf, 35, by Monsoon, monsoon.co.uk
BURBERRY PRORSUM
BALENCIAGA
Sometimes, it really is as simple as rearranging the way you wear something. Phoebe Philos autumn Cline collection took cowboy scarf styling and turned it haute. Basically, take a silk scarf (this look doesnt work with wool styles) and tie it around your neck so that it nishes with a point at the front. Alternatively, rewind to 2007 and channel Balenciagas pile-it-high technique in homage to designer Nicolas Ghesquire, who leaves the house later this month.
Cochrane oer some inspiration for your winter wardrobe be

THAT FU ZZY FEELING
S UP ER S I ZE ME
Those with allergies should uld be warned your girlfriends nds might be moulting this season. Fuzz, whether its s angora, mohair, sheepskin in or shaggy faux fur, is everyerywhere. An angora sweater er channels Nastassja Kinski ki in Paris, Texas, a reference at buzz London knitwear brand Sibling. But to really feel warm and cosy, go for Fraggle Rock textures in the manner of Mulberry check out Tim Walkers campaign with Lindsay Wixson complete with monster and Meadham Kirchho. The hot version on the high street is James Longs new range for Topman, which we predict will be popular with the fashion conscious of both sexes.
PHOTOGRAPHS REX FEATURES; GETTY; CATWALKING.COM; REUTERS
FRAGGLE ROCK
Far right: Oversized wool coat, om 135, by Cos, cosstores.com Right: Quilted down coat, 175, k by Whistles, whistles.co.uk
CLINE
Shaggy fur bag, 80, by River Island, riverisland.com Shaggy fur jacket, 50.95, nelly.com
If sleek shapes have dominated e coats recently, bigger is better er in 2012. This can take many ke guises and none require quire you to squeeze your r knitwear into streammlined sleeves. Clines es oversized mans coat at is one reference see ee similar styles at Cos or theres the pued-up puer. Seen on the catwalk k at Peter Pilotto, the Whistles Benny quilted lted jacket is selling well now l while Uniqlos forthcoming hcoming collaboration with Theory pushes the padded jacket.
07.11.12 The Guardian 13 The Gu Guardian
CLINE
Style
KILT S V DUNGAREES
OXB LO O D
With Obama v Romney out of the way, the biggest faceo now is between kilts and dungarees. Both were at Topshop Unique while others have taken sides o the catwalk model Laura Bailey (below) was spotted at fashion week on team kilt, pairing her midi-length style with heeled ankle boots, while Alexa Chung is forever behind the dungaree, wearing it as a staple. The latter looks as if it has staying power too, appearing on the catwalk at Margaret Howell and House of Holland for lland next spring. This seasons s jumpsuit?
H A NDBAG V T IA R A
UNIQUE
If it started with purple, the colour palette of the season has seeped into oxblood. A dark, reddish brown more often associated with the alternative shade of Doctor Martens, 2012 has seen it go Above, behind: posh. The Duchess of CamTrousers, 30, by bridge was spotted in an Monki, monki.com Above: Boots, 95, oxblood skirt suit, and its a Topshop, Topshop.com way to wear leather without that rocknroll vibe. Asos, Topshop and The Kooples all sell oxblood leather bikers, which for now beat black or pastel styles. Its the subtle Collar, 22, by Topshop, hue update to do now.
topshop.com
Above, behind: Pinafore dress, 69.99, by JW Anderson for Topshop, topshop.com Above: Kilt, 45, by Asos, asos.com
Look, if youre after warmth, this winters hot hat is a faux fur cossack la Keira in Anna Karenina. But if its razz youre after, see the current Prada pics in Vogue featuring tennis-style headbands s festooned in sequins. Plain n retro versions follow at the e label next year. The new alice lice band perhaps? Meanwhile, b , tiaras are also a thing. See Georgia May Jagger in the Westwood ads. Or channel l Courtney Love (right) tiaras ras are very 90s grunge revival l whose own Never the Bride e line naturally features hair jewellery.
Above: Brown cossack hat, 34.99, by Ruby and Ed, from newlook.com
PRADA
Theatres London
Adelphi Theatre 0844 579 0094 NOW PREVIEWING CAMBRIDGE 08444124652 Roald Dahls
THE BODYGUARD
Mon-Sat 7.30pm, Wed & Sat 3pm www.thebodyguardmusical.com
MATILDA THE MUSICAL

Tue7Wed-Sat7.30Wed&Sat2.30Sun3 www.matildathemusical.com
London Palladium 0844 412 4655 TOMMY STEELE in THE SPECTACULAR MUSICAL
PALACE THEATRE 0844 412 4656
SINGIN' IN THE RAIN

singinintherain.co.uk PHOENIX THEATRE 08448717629
Savoy Theatre 0844 871 7687 Will Young as Emcee Michelle Ryan as Sally Bowles
SCROOGE
LYCEUM 0844 871 3000 book online www.thelionking.co.uk Disney Presents
CABARET
Shaftesbury Theatre 0207 379 5399
Aldwych Theatre 0844 847 1712
TOP HAT
"A musical like this comes around once in a lifetime." Sunday Tel Tue-Sat 7.30, Tue,Thu & Sat 2.30 www.tophatonstage.com
Criterion Theatre 0844 847 2483 Londons Funniest Comedy
THE LION KING

Tue-Sat 7.30, Wed, Sat & Sun 2.30 For Group/Education rates call 08448717644 / Disney 02078450949
BLOOD BROTHERS FINAL WEEK-ENDS SAT
ROCK OF AGES
THE SMASH HIT MUSICAL
The 39 Steps
Mon-Sat 8pm, Wed 3pm, Sat 4pm
Piccadilly Theatre 0844 871 3055 LYRIC THEATRE 0844 412 4661 Ambassadors 08448 112 334
DOMINION 0844 847 1775
St James Theatre 0844 264 2140
VIVA FOREVER!
Based on the songs of the Spice Girls Book by Jennifer Saunders From 27 November | 20-67.50 www.VivaForeverTheMusical.com
DADDY LONG LEGS

A new musical Directed by John Caird www.stjamestheatre.co.uk
STOMP
Mon, Thu-Sat 8pm Thu, Sat & Sun 3pm, Sun 6pm
WE WILL ROCK YOU

by QUEEN & BEN ELTON Mon-Sat 7.30, Mat Sat 2.30 Extra show last Wednesday of every month at 2.30 www.wewillrockyou.co.uk
GIELGUD 0844 482 5130
CHARIOTS OF FIRE
***** 'A magnificent triumph' Mail on Sunday Mon-Sat 19:45, Wed & Sat 15:00 chariotsoffireonstage.com
THRILLER LIVE!
Tue-Fri7.30, Sat 4&8, Sun 3.30&7.30 www,thrillerlive.com
APOLLO THEATRE 0844 412 4658 TWELFTH NIGHT RICHARD III In repertoire Shakespearewestend.com
New London Theatre 020 7452 3000 / 0844 412 4654
WAR HORSE
DRURY LANE 0844 871 8810
SHREK THE MUSICAL

Duchess Theatre 0844 412 4659
HER MAJESTY'S 0844 412 2707 THE BRILLIANT ORIGINAL
Warhorseonstage.com
PINTER 0844 871 7622 ALAN AYCKBOURNS A CHORUS OF DISAPPROVAL achorusofdisapproval.com
St Martin's 08444 991515 60th year of Agatha Christie's
THE MOUSETRAP
Evenings 7.30 Mats. Tues 3 Sat 4 www.the-mousetrap.co.uk
APOLLO VICTORIA 0844 847 1696
WICKED
WickedTheMusical.co.uk Mon-Sat 7.30pm Wed & Sat 2.30pm
THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA

Mon-Sat 7.30, Thu & Sat 2.30 www.ThePhantomOfTheOpera.com
NOVELLO 0844 482 5115 'ABBA-Solutely Fabulous' D.Mail
Prince Edward 0844 482 5152
OUR BOYS
Garrick 0844 412 4662 book online loservillethemusical.com
MAMMA MIA!
Mon-Sat 7.45, Thurs & Sat 3pm, www.Mamma-Mia.com
JERSEY BOYS
Winner Best Musical! Oliviers Tue-Sat 7.30,Tue&Sat 3pm, Sun 5pm
Vaudeville Theatre 0844 412 4663
UNCLE VANYA
Mon - Sat 7.30, Thu & Sat 2.30
ARTS THEATRE 020 7836 8463 A Radio Play by Samuel Beckett Directed by Trevor Nunn
QUEEN'S 0844 482 5160 Hippodrome Casino, Matcham Room
ALL THAT FALL

Cast includes Eileen Aitkins And Michael Gambon
LOSERVILLE the Musical

Mon-Sat 7.30pm, Wed & Sat 3pm Tickets from 10.00 - 49.50
HOT CLUB OF COWTOWN

0207 769 8866 6 - 10 Nov 20.00
OLD VIC 0844 871 7628 SHERIDAN SMITH
LES MISERABLES
WINNER! 2012 Olivier Audience Award Eves 7.30, Mats Wed & Sat 2.30 www.LesMis.com
Wyndhams Theatre 0844 4825120
HEDDA GABLER
Mon-Sat 7.30pm, Wed & Sat 2.30pm Final week
DREAMBOATS
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Entertainment
Arts
One new Killing. Two new jumpers

Sarah Lund is poised for her third and nal outing in The Killing. Soe Grabl and the team behind the show tell Vicky Frost about saying goodbye, Faroese knitwear and why it's time men got the big roles
am sitting at a bare table in a room with grey walls. Beyond is a large, gloomy oce lled with desks and oce clutter. Outside, the weak Danish sunshine struggles against the beginnings of relentless rain. The door bangs rmly shut, a recording device clunks into life and Copenhagens most famous detective begins her interrogation only this time Sarah Lund is answering the questions. Soe Grbl, the actor who plays her, sits on the wrong side of the table, a gregarious, engaging presence, and contemplates Lunds nal exit from this police station. Filming on the third and last series of The Killing nished a couple of days ago, and tomorrow the room in which we now sit will be pulled down, along with the rest of the set, with its familiar corridors and haphazard ling. (I have to clear a chair of police les to sit down.) Grbl is nding this dicult to come to terms with. Admirers of the crime drama which came to BBC4 early in 2011, with little fanfare, and then crept up the ratings to become a massive hit may also struggle to let go of Lund. She is a somewhat unlikely hero: uncommunicative, occasionally bungling, neglectful of close relationships and family life. But the detectives unshakeable commitment to nding Nanna Birk Larsens killer over that rst 20hour season was matched only by the fans growing fervour for Lund herself. And while plot is inevitably central
to a drama that focuses relentlessly on a single crime, it has been Lunds gradual decline personal and professional that has made The Killing so gripping; even allowing for a second series that sometimes stretched the limits of plausibility. Lund will not be returning after this outing, Grbl promises. I think theres a great beauty in ending a story, she says. It is nished now. I didnt have that feeling at the end of season two. This time, I feel theres denitely not going to be a fourth. She is clearly nding it dicult to say goodbye, and for a moment struggles to control her emotions. I feel like Ive just stepped o a carousel, but the ground is still moving so Im not that formulated about how I feel, she says, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. But the last day of shooting was much more emotional than I thought it would be; it was very intense. I had three big scenes, and it was like being in this hurricane. I said goodbye e to everyone, went out into the parking g lot, got in my car, slammed the door and then just totally broke down. Across the police station, in another er dark, spare oce, writer Sren Sveistrup up is also beginning to contemplate life without Lund although, with episodes es yet to edit, he has put such thoughts on hold for now. If you ask me around d Christmas, I probably wont answer the he phone, and will be crying, he admits, , cheerfully. So it will be tough, but it has been my own decision to stop while the party is going.
I said goodbye, went out, got in my car, and then totally broke down'
Sveistrup will not be talked into reconsidering: the drama was conceived as a trilogy, and has now reached its conclusion. There is more to this than the pressures of plotting and the strain of spending eight years on a project (The Killing rst aired in Denmark in early 2007, but was longer in the making). I want the last chapter to be as good as the others, he says. Theres a lot of bad stu on television, and I didnt want to become one of the shows that are not working. While never not working, its true that many British viewers found The Killings second series less convincing than the rst. In part, that may have been to do with expectation levels; perhaps Sarah Lunds jumper bobbing around Afghanistan was a leap too far. For the detectives nal adventure, Sveistrup is returning to familiar themes: a mix of crime, politics and, crucially, family. At a preview screening, the scenes of police creeping intently through woodland closely echo that initial season.
The Killing is intensely personal for Sveistrup, who in person is easy-going and relaxed, but says he is working out his own neuroses with every episode. The Killing is always about loss. You can lose everything that has a value for you your soul, really, if you compromise yourself. Thats my own nightmare: just to wake up one day and discover its all gone. Poor Lund, of course, has had to live out these nightmares. The Killings strength is that the detective carries the weight of her experiences with her; in the new series, she is beginning to distance herself from work, attempting to have a private life, and is reticent about being drawn into a chase. In the opening episode, we see her preparing a dinner to be eaten from plates, rather than straight from the pan a big shift. Lund is so reluctant to go into the eld she has even taken to wearing heels. Grbl reects on these changes in her character. If you lose everything you invest, can you just put everything on the table again the next time? Like most of
us when we get older, we tend to think, Let somebody else save the world. Even for Grbl, Lund remains a mystery. What amazes me is Ive not lost interest after seven years, which is more than you can say about most marriages, she says. Theres so much we dont know about her. In that sense, she isnt really mine I dont know more about her than you do. The international success of the series has brought inevitable pressures. As Sveistrup was sitting down to write the nal 10-part series, Britain was just getting around to awarding its rst a Bafta. I couldnt make any decisions and I couldnt write, because I thought everybody would kill me if I got it wrong, he says. Then somebody said, And action! and I thought OK, Ive denitely got to hurry now! And then I stopped thinking after that, and it was just my gut feeling. But of course, when you try to end the whole story, you feel a pressure: you want to make the best of it, and youd hate the audience to be disappointed.
Seven-year itch (above) Grabl as Sarah Lund in the season three o-duty jumper; (below left) in her new on-duty knitwear
PHOTOGRAPH DR PRESSE
What happened to the guys while the women were out saving the world?'
At the start of the series I felt a bit, I wont say nervous, but tense, says Grbl. Its special its not just like slipping into the old jumper and there it is. Speaking of jumpers, yes: there is a new one navy with a white pattern. In the style of series two, we also get a pre-jumper jumper (main picture, with chevrons), which she wears before being lured back into detecting. Both times, Grbl laughs, she and the producers tried to leave the detectives Faroese knitwear behind, but ended up putting Lund back in it. Nikolaj Lie Kaas, who takes on the hazardous role of Grbls new sidekick, tells me a funny story about his rst day on set. I wondered if it was actually a parody are we doing a spoof? Everyone was talking about the jumper that hadnt arrived from the Faroe islands, and they were waiting for a plane, coming with it on it. Everything was chaos! I said, If I was to make fun of this series, this is the situation I would choose. Already, Scandinavian television has served up its Lund 2.0, in the shape of the socially awkward Saga Norn, one half of the Swedish/Danish crime partnership in the much-admired The Bridge. But The Killing team are largely diplomatic when quizzed about the similarities: Grbl says she hasnt seen The Bridge; Sveistrup says the comparison is an honour. But the shows producer, Piv Bernth (now also head of drama at DR, the broadcaster that makes the show), takes a dierent tack. The immediate future isnt about more Sarah Lunds, she says: its about her male equivalents. With Copenhagen on the map for TV (much to Bernths delight: she trained in London with a director who always introduced her as from somewhere in fucking Scandinavia), this seems a distinctly egalitarian, Danish approach. I think maybe the time has come, Bernth says. Were trying to develop stories about male characters what happened to the guys while women were out doing all these things, saving the world? They went back home and took care of all the kids and stu, but what happened then? Danish TV has already explored some of this tension, in Borgen. In the meantime, Lund must step out once more. And while Grbls goodbye has been emotional, she admits shes glad in some ways. I feel a bit like its a divorce, in the sense that its a mix between great pain and great relief. Its the right decision to end it you grieve, but youre also ready to move on.
The Killing III begins on 17 November on BBC4.
Harrison Birtwistle, composer

I judge a lot of music by asking: Would I like to have written it? And with my favourite Carter pieces, I certainly would. I love the Double Concerto for piano, harpsichord and two chamber orchestras. Theres nothing like it in music: the concept, the way it makes time and rhythm move, the instrumentation that bloody harpsichord! Whether its playable or not, Im not sure, because its so dicult. I last saw him at the Aldeburgh festival in 2009, when I wrote my music-theatre piece The Corridor. He had a new piece, too, and came to my concert. I remember we went to a restaurant with a lot of people, and everyone had to leave for a concert. He said, Cant we just stay here?, which I thought was rather sweet. I said I would stay with him, but then, like a couple of reluctant schoolboys, we had to go to this concert. Neither of us had a piece in it, and Id gladly have
Music seemed to erupt from his very being

Elliott Carter, the great American composer, has died at the age of 103. Daniel Barenboim, Harrison Birtwistle and other musicians pay tribute to a master who wrote right to the end
sat with him. Im sorry about that moment.
John Tavener, composer

Carter transformed all notions of modernism by writing music that seemed to erupt from his very being. He was, for me, the greatest American composer that has ever lived. I have always held him in awe, but only recently, since I was seriously ill, have I come to understand his real stature. I think he did something no other modernist has ever achieved. He, in the last 10 years of his life, seemed to rid modernism of all its angst, creating sparkling edices of joy and beauty, like the Flute Concerto and Dialogues for Piano and Chamber Orchestra. From a composers point of view, he was an absolute master and he did it better than any of us.
Daniel Barenboim, conductor

I have loved Elliott Carters music for many years. Last month, I recorded his
A visionary gu re (below) Carter , on left, with Aaron Copl and in 1981; (main) in 2008
cello concerto, and I was speaking to him only last Saturday. For me, he was the most important American composer of his time. His music was not complicated, but it was complex. I think its outstanding quality was that it always seemed to be in good humour. If Haydn had lived in the 21st century, he would have probably have composed like this. He had the most extraordinary memory. He remembered what happened last week, last year, and 90 years ago. In fact, when he was in his 90s, I performed his music in Chicago. He told me about his rst visit to Berlin when he was 14, in 1922. He said hed heard the last concerts conducted by Arthur Nikisch at the Berlin Philharmonic before Furtwngler took over and he told me what hed heard! I must say, I was a little suspicious and had the concert programmes checked. He was absolutely right. This is an edited transcript of an interview for Radio 3s In Tune.
Nick Daniel, oboist

Its a shock to the solar plexus to lose him. I played his Oboe Concerto many times, and he once remarked to me: I used to ask for it to be more controlled, more grey-coloured, but now I want it to just sing. This singing quality came out as he got older. His music isnt melodic in a conventional way, though, but in a way that uniquely ts the instruments or voice hes writing for. His is the kind of music that, at rst, you think: How on earth am I going to do this? Some pieces remain dicult, but they become part of your blood, your DNA. He was absolutely delightful to work with I dont know anyone who had a bad experience. Although he was tough, he was incredibly clear, always wanting his music to ow. He didnt want it to get stuck or feel sentimental. My fondest memory was playing his Oboe Quartet at Aldeburgh. Hed own over, aged 101. The rst half of the concert was before lunch, then there was a break to eat, and he decided to have oysters. So we had an extra long interval while we waited for him to nish his lunch. At the end, he stood up, and walked unaided from the back to the front of the church to thank us, and he was glowing. Ill never forget it. Interviews by Imogen Tilden and Tom Service.
Alisa Weilerstein, cellist

I met him on an incredibly hot day in New York last summer. He was aable and kind, and was using a giant magnifying glass to look at a score. When I asked if I could play a passage of his cello concerto, he said: Of course, but I dont hear so well. He lasted about seven seconds before he stopped me with incredibly detailed observations. He told me things Id never heard before, saying hed wanted to make use of the cellos incredible expressive possibilities. I wanted it to sing, he said. In the fourth movement, he wanted my playing to be more expressive, which is something Im rarely told. Usually people tell me to calm down! He composed every day, too. Even on that day, when it was over 40 degrees, hed got up that morning to write.
In his works, opposites combine and collide; the multiplicity of human experience is represented in music thats volatile, and full of ambiguity and contradiction. But it also abounds in a teeming sense of invention, bubbling with fantasy. I rst met him as a teenager, in the late 1970s, and remained in contact till recently. Courteous and warm, his exceptional intellect was balanced by an endearing, even impish, sense of humour. He shared an exceptionally happy married life, living for more than six decades with his wife, Helen, who seemed on the surface a somewhat waspish presence, though below was a heart of gold. Carter was a visionary and powerfully independent gure, and he will be deeply missed.
I asked if I could play him parts of his cello concerto. He said: Of course but I dont hear so well
Colin Currie, percussionist

A few years ago, I asked Carter to write a work for solo piano, solo percussion and chamber orchestra. Id noticed hed always written inventively for percussion and had really been pushing the envelope. We had a meeting at his New York apartment, and he was brimming with curiosity about the idea. At rst, Id receive emails with, say, marimba phrases to check. Then he realised everything he was doing was working and he stopped checking in. The work was premiered as Conversations for Piano, Percussion and Chamber Ensemble at Aldeburgh in 2011. Having heard how good it sounded, Carter added two further movements, and it became the Double Concerto for percussion and piano. It was one of his very last large-scale works. We were lucky enough to premiere it to him in person in June in New York last year, with the New York Philharmonic. Afterwards, he wrote to me a typically generous gesture to say how much hed enjoyed it, and that the piece worked better than he could have imagined.
Oliver Knussen, composer

The journey from a rst glimpse of Carter, then 60, at a rehearsal for an early performance of the Piano Concerto in Chicago (I was too shy to say hello), to the experience of conducting it in his presence at the Barbican nearly 40 years later encloses a multitude of memories. I hope I have at least partly paid back, by playing and recording his music, what I took from him in order to make my own. To have been in on the conception and the rst complete performances of the Symphonia, one of the monuments of the n-de-20th-sicle, was one of the great honours of my life.
PHOTOGRAPHS ANDREW TESTA; NEAL BOENZI/EYEVINE
George Benjamin, composer

His angle on the world was original, bold and compelling.
Arts
Get your Henry Moores here! Jonathan Jones on the artworks threatened by cash-strapped councils guardian.co.uk/artanddesign
Mel Giedroyc in training for the part of Cinderellas stepmother
Portrait of the artist Mel Giedroyc, comedian When I didnt get into drama school, I spent three days in bed with a bottle of whisky
How did you get into comedy? Im the youngest of four in a large, exhibitionist family. The only way to get attention was to throw yourself o the top of a ladder as one of my cousins used to do or make people laugh. How do you explain the perennial appeal of the comedy double act? There are dierent types of double act: the classic dumb-and-dumber, like Morecambe and Wise; the good cop/ bad cop, where ones a bit spiky and the others daft. Sue Perkins and I take what we might call the Ant and Dec approach: the double act came out of our friendship. People seem to enjoy that, but its bad for our work ethic we just meet up, gossip, piss about, watch TV, fall asleep, then go home. Why has The Great British Bake O proved such a hit? When Sue and I said yes to presenting it, in my heart of hearts I thought: This is just another cookery show there are plenty of those already. So weve all been bowled over by the response. I think people like the fact its not a mean show it doesnt revel in peoples sadness or discomfort, and youre allowed to get to know the characters in an organic, slow way. And its cake, for Gods sake! It just looks fantastic: its Battenberg porn. Whats the worst heckle youve had? A bloke once yelled out: Youve got chubby knees. I was 19. Ive had a real complex about my knees ever since. What have you sacriced for your art? A long and illustrious career in serious theatre. I applied to two drama schools and was rejected. I took to my bed for three days with a bottle of whisky. Now I dont really think serious theatre was for me I havent got the teeth or the hair, and my knees are a bit too chubby. Which artists do you most admire? All the great gods of rock: Robert Plant, David Bowie, Jimi Hendrix. I wish I could play electric guitar. Sue and I had a band once, called Leatherhead. She plays the guitar quite well, annoyingly, and I drum. But playing guitar is a fantasy Ive always had. Who would play you in the lm of your life? Somebody with buck teeth and slightly goggly eyes: Ken Dodd, in his younger years. Whats the biggest myth about being a comedian? That women arent funny. Its so bloody boring. I hope its being eroded. Back in 1993, when we started, we were pretty much the only female double act on the scene. Now there are loads. If you could send a message to your critics, what would it be? I tried my best. Interview by Laura Barnett.
PHOTOGRAPH SARAH LEE FOR THE GUARDIAN
IN SHORT
Born: Epsom, 1968. Career: Formed Mel and Sue with Sue Perkins at Cambridge University. TV includes Light Lunch and The Great British Bake O. Stage work includes the Eurobeat musical and Cinderella, at the Lyric Hammersmith, London W6 (0208741 6850; lyric. co.uk), 24 November to 5 January. Low point: Leighton Buzzard, 1995. Sue and I did a show that went so badly, we were made to leave the theatre via the back door so as not to get lynched.
Television
n an industrial estate outside Maidenhead, Heston Blumenthal has a laboratory that doubles as a kitchen in which he spends months on end developing new dishes. Now could be the moment to give a small cupboard of that space to his image and media development team. Heston may be one of the worlds most creative and groundbreaking chefs, but in television terms he hit a standstill long ago because he has become a atscreen one-trick wonder: someone who shouts: Look at me as he disguises one food to look like another. Even if you had the 100,000 kitchen to attempt one of his recipes, why on earth would you want to? In his latest outing, Hestons Fantastical Food (Channel 4) programme development time: three nano-seconds his glasses appear even bigger than usual. So naturally hes now experimenting with super-sized cooking to make giant versions of everyday meals, starting with breakfast. For someone who has made molecular biology into a culinary art-form, Heston is extremely hazy when it comes to other areas of science. His starting hypothesis was that we are all very grumpy and dissociated because we are skipping breakfast. Its a possibility, I suppose. But then so is the fact that we are in the middle of a global recession and those of us with jobs often face an hour-long journey on public transport in which we are treated as sardines. How then, did Heston test out his theory? By creating a fry-up of two 10kg sausages, baked potatoes masquerading as baked beans and a monster fake egg with a mango yolk, and oering it to people on the station platform on their way to work. That almost everyone declined the invitation was, for Heston, case proved. Though what it more clearly showed was that most people dont
A laboratory that doubles as a kitchen Heston Blumenthal if you like that kind of thing, but I could have done without the endless padding that came with it. This was a 20 minute programme stretched to an hour. Heston has long traded o things being not quite what they seem. Hes succeeded once more. Only this time he turned everything into a turkey. There was better science and more entertainment to be had on Dara Briains Science Club (BBC2), the latest in the long production line of programmes designed to cash in on the medias latest discovery: that science can be both fun and interesting, even without the soulful eyes and boyband looks of Brian Cox to present it. Though, for many, the appearance of the Guardians dreamy science correspondent Alok Jha will have more than made up for Coxs absence. First up for discussion was sex. Its hard to go far wrong with sex, but Briains guided tour of the subject was conducted with considerable panache in making the complex comprehensible. It helps that Briain is a naturally funny and intelligent man, but what makes him so good on television is that he comes across as a very generous presenter; someone who doesnt need to hog the camera and isnt afraid to let his guests take centre stage. And up stepped Professor Steve Jones, one of the worlds leading geneticists and certainly one of the driest to give a master-class in popular science education. His observations that the bicycle was one of the key developments in human evolution people no longer had to have sex with those on their doorstep and that Francis Galton had concluded that Britains least attractive women could be found in Aberdeen, will stay with me long after I have forgotten what epigenetics actually is.
Last night's TV Heston Blumenthals super-sized breakfast left me feeling empty
By John Crace
allow an extra half an hour in their daily commute on the o-chance they will be asked to be guinea pigs for a television show. So Heston set about making breakfast a fun meal for a select group of commuters by taking over the Orient Express and treating them to his variations of boiled egg, cereals and coee vapours. Everyone smiled, whooped and talked to each other. QED. What was objectionable about all this wasnt Heston hes an acquired taste, but on the whole I can take him but the fundamental conceit that what he was doing was in some way useful. It wasnt; it was just Heston having a bit of a laugh and trying his hand at something not even he will bother to do again. Which is ne,
PHOTOGRAPH NEAL HAYNES
AND ANOTHER THING
Im quite enjoying Hunted (BBC1), but it would really help if I had more of a clue what was going on.
TV and radio
F Film of the day Dirty Harry (9pm, TCM) D The rst outing of Clint Eastwoods zero-tolerance cop T Harry Callahan set a new yardstick for the crime genre and H sparked heated debate about the lms hard-right stance s
BBC1
6.0pm BBC News (S) (Followed by Weather.) 6.30 Regional News Programmes (S) (Followed by Weather.
BBC2
6.0pm Eggheads (R) (S) Quiz, hosted by Dermot Murnaghan. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing It Takes Two (S) 7.0 The Dark: Natures Nighttime World (R) (S) (AD) Biologists and camera crews explore the wildernesses of South and Central America at night, beginning in the jungles of Costa Rica.
ITV1
6.0pm Local News (S) (Followed by Weather.) 6.30 ITV News And Weather (S)
Channel 4
6.0pm The Simpsons (R) (S) (AD) Lisa becomes a success at the Sundance Film Festival. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S) 7.0 Channel 4 News (S) 7.55 4thought.tv (S) Humanist Nick Senior, who has spent 23 years as a member of the armed forces, believes military medics do not receive the credit they deserve. 8.0 The Great British Property Scandal: Every Empty Counts (S) George Clarke reports on his campaign to get some of Britains 350,000 long-term vacant homes back into use for families in need. 9.0 Grand Designs (S) A couple plan to convert a dilapidated joinery workshop in north London into a contemporary family home and oce.
Breakfast, Lunch And Dinner, BBC4
Watch this
Great British Property Scandal: Every Empty Counts 8pm, Channel 4
George Clarke is back, crusading to get Britains empty homes back into use. After he started his campaign last year, thousands have reported vacant properties and even more have signed his online petition, but there are still 1m homes lying empty. George isnt happy you can tell by the fact that his whole script seems to be written in an angry upper case. There is good news, though, as the government has coughed up money to help, and war veterans are renovating empties in Manseld. Martin Skegg ing in it. In this enjoyable new series, she considers our three main meals and discovers the social, technological and health histories behind them. First, the most important meal of the day, breakfast, and to a bikers cafe where a full English may be ordered alongside a pint of lager on a Friday night. A far cry from the middle ages, where bacon and eggs came to be combined on Collop Monday when they would be used up before Lent. John Robinson
7.0 The One Show (S) 7.30 Police Elections Time To Choose (S) Nicky Campbell chairs a debate on next weeks poll to elect Police and Crime Commissioners. (Followed by BBC News; Regional News.) 8.0 Pound Shop Wars (S) Documentary following the expansion of two family-run retail businesses 99p Stores and Poundworld as they compete for high street dominance
7.0 Emmerdale (S) (AD) Paddy struggles to remain positive following his suspension. 7.30 Coronation Street (S) (AD) Gail fears she has ruined her relationship with Audrey. 8.0 All Star Mr & Mrs (S) Loose Womens Lisa Maxwell, McFly drummer Harry Judd and actress Sian Reeves are joined by their partners to nd out how much they know about each other. Last in series. 9.0 DCI Banks (S) (AD) Part one of two. The detective investigates the murder of an internet entrepreneurs daughter and quickly identies his prime suspect. Concludes tomorrow. 10.0 ITV News At Ten And Weather (S) 10.30 Local News/ Weather (S) 10.35 Exposure (S) Current aairs documentaries shedding light on social, political and economic issues. 11.35 Take Me Out (R) (S) A dancer, a debonair Londoner, a karate-loving businessman and a student try to impress 30 single women and win a date to the Isle of Fernandos. Paddy McGuinness presents.
commissioned for the Choirbook for the Queen. The Master of Music is Martin Baker. 4.30 In Tune. Sean Raerty talks to saxophonist Shabaka Hutchings ahead of his collaboration with the BBC Concert Orchestra at the 2012 London Jazz Festival. 6.30 Composer Of The Week: Mendelssohn. (R) 7.30 Radio 3 Live In Concert. From Bridgewater Hall, Vasily Petrenko conducts the RLPO in Sibeliuss Karelia Suite, Arutyunyans Trumpet Concerto with soloist Tine Thing Helseth, and Mahlers First Symphony. 10.0 Free Thinking. Historian Tom Holland and theologian Mona Siddiqui discuss the dierences between Islam and Christianity at the Free Thinking Festival. Chaired by
8.0 MasterChef: The Professionals (S) The remaining ve chefs are asked to mould honeycomb into dessert decorations, with only four going on to try to re-create Michel Roux Jrs Dover sole recipe. 9.0 How Safe Are Britains Roads? (S) (AD) This edition explores the dangers of driving while using a mobile phone, and examines whether a car that drives itself could eliminate road accidents completely. 10.0 The Culture Show (S) Ben Aeck talks about his new lm Argo and Michael Smith examines the role of death in art and culture. 10.30 Newsnight (S) Jeremy Paxman is in Washington DC. 11.35 The Road To El Alamein: Churchills Desert Campaign (R) (S) (AD) Jonathan Dimbleby recounts the story of the campaign for North Africa during the Second World War.
9.0 Brazil With Michael Palin (S) (AD) Palin learns about the Brazilian mining industry, then visits Rio to examine how the authorities are ridding the streets of drug gangs.
Secret State 10pm, Channel 4

At the start of this four-part series, we arrive in the aftermath of an explosion at a US-owned chemical plant in north-east England. Nineteen people are dead, the community is in uproar, and the deputy prime minister (Gabriel Byrne) isnt having much luck pouring oil, so to speak, on troubled waters. When a helpful investigative journalist (Gina McKee) directs him to a condential report on the company, it highlights the rst steps on a murky trail of cover-ups. A well-cast, well-played conspiracy drama. JR
Brazil With Michael Palin 9pm, BBC1

Michael Palin has certainly got his jaunt in early; as hosts of both the next World Cup and Olympics, Brazil will become the most overanalysed country on earth during the next four years. It merits the scrutiny Brazils emergence is one of the more under-discussed phenomena of this century. Tonight, Palin visits Rio. Among the questions asked: ked: why are Brazilians such consistently superior footballllers? Andrew Mueller
10.0 BBC News (S) 10.25 Regional News And Weather (S) 10.35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws (S) 10.45 Michael McIntyres Comedy Roadshow (R) (S)
10.0 Secret State (S) (AD) New political drama series, with Gabriel Byrne. The deputy prime minister vows to take on a US petrochemical company after an industrial accident on British soil. 11.0 Random Acts (S) A short lm about insatiable, fun-loving dancing. 11.05 Geordies Overboard (S) Following the crew of the Northumberlandbased Blyth AllWeather Lifeboat.
Samira Ahmed. 10.45 The Free Thinking Essay: New Generation Thinkers. Jonathan Healey, one of Radio 3s New Generation Thinkers, gives a talk questioning the value of lessons from history, recorded at the Free Thinking Festival. 11.0 Late Junction. Max Reinhardt introduces the second part of John Coltranes Ascension, Jonathan Harveys Ricercare Una Melodia for cello, and the Reverend Peytons Big Damn Band. 12.30 Through The Night. Including music by Beethoven, Brahms, Ravel, Boeck, Bach, Debussy, Messiaen, Telemann, Chabrier, Schumann, Alpaerts, Maurice, Grainger, Vivaldi, Haydn, Mozart and Berwald.
11.15 The Ring (Gore Verbinski, 2002) (S) A journalist investigates teenage deaths linked to a videotape. Disappointing remake of the cult Japanese chiller, with Naomi Watts and Martin Henderson.
Radio
Radio 3
90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30 Breakfast. Sara Mohr-Pietsch introduces favourite pieces, notable performances and a few surprises. 9.0 Essential Classics. With Sarah Walker. Including the Essential CD of the Week: Virtuoso and Romantic Encores for Violin, performances by Frans Bruggen and this weeks guest, physicist Athene Donald. 12.0 Composer Of The Week: Mendelssohn. Donald Macleod explores the year 1844 in the life of Mendelssohn and
Breakfast, Lunch And Dinner 9pm, BBC4

Clarissa Dickson Wright is one of the few TV naturals, als, someone whose charisma a suggests a person briey contained by the medium m rather than gearing their whole life towards appearar-
Secret State, Channel 4
introduces a selection of his pieces, including the Violin Concerto in E minor with Jascha Heifetz. 1.0 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert. The second of this weeks concerts given by the Nash Ensemble at LSO St Lukes features Strausss Prelude for string sextet from Capriccio and Brahms String Sextet No 1 in B at. (R) 2.0 Afternoon On 3. Todays selection of music by Dutch orchestras and ensembles includes Purcell from Barokopera Amsterdam and Shostakovichs Chamber Symphony performed by the Amsterdam Sinfonietta. 3.30 Choral Vespers From Westminster Cathedral. Choral Vespers live from Westminster Cathedral, including the rst broadcast of a composition
Full TV listings For comprehensive programme details see the Guardian Guide every Saturday or go to tvlistings.guardian.co.uk/
Channel 5
6.0pm Home And Away (R) (S) (AD) 6.30 5 News At 6.30 (S) Round-up of the days headlines from around the world. 7.0 Eddie Stobart: Trucks And Trailers (R) (S) The companys rail maintenance team works around the clock to waterproof a railway bridge over the M6. (Followed by 5 News Update.)
BBC3
BBC4
More4
6.20pm Come Dine With Me (R) (S) Milton Keynes is the setting.
Atlantic
6.0pm House (R) A company boss is admitted with unexplained paralysis. Hugh Laurie and Chi McBride star. 7.0 House (R) The team tries to diagnose and treat an ailing mobster in time for his testimony in a court case.
Other channels
E4 6.0pm The Big Bang Theory. Sheldon and Howard stake their most highly prized comic-books on a bet. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory. Sheldon tries to modify Pennys behaviour. 7.0 Hollyoaks. Maxine tries to make amends with Mitzeee. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother. Barney pretends to be married. 8.0 The Big Bang Theory. Penny regrets her night with Raj. 8.30 2 Broke Girls. Max and Caroline nd a dierent way to make money. 9.0 The Big Bang Theory. Amy is caught in a conict between Sheldon and Penny. 9.30 The Work Experience. Colby gives designer Tom Codds sample collection to a mysterious lady. 10.0 The Inbetweeners. The lads visit a Caravan Club meeting. 10.30 The Inbetweeners. Will organises the Christmas prom. 11.0 Rude Tube: Epic Fails. Web clips highlighting embarrassing mistakes. Film4 7.0pm New In Town. Romantic comedy, starring Renee Zellweger. 9.0 Daredevil. Comic-book adventure, starring Ben Aeck. 11.05 Kingpin. Comedy, starring Woody Harrelson. FX 6.0pm Leverage. Drama, starring Timothy Hutton. 7.0 NCIS. The murder of a former marine is investigated. 8.0 NCIS. Gibbs former mother-in-law surfaces as a witness in a murder investigation. 9.0 American Horror Story: Asylum. An exorcism goes terribly wrong. 10.0 The Walking Dead. Andrea and Michonne encounter a community of survivors. 11.0 Family Guy. Chris develops a crush on his teacher. 11.30 Family Guy. Peter decides he needs to achieve fame. 12.0 American Dad! Stans pranks land him in jail. ITV2 6.0pm The Jeremy Kyle Show USA. The host takes his successful talk-show stateside. 7.0 Gossip Girl. Chuck searches for answers about his father among Manhattans social elite. 8.0 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records. Incredible and peculiar recordbreaking attempts. 8.30 Youve Been Framed! Harry Hill narrates camcorder Weird Tales 1.0 The Saint 2.0 At Home With The Hardys 2.30 The Party Line 3.0 Lost Empires 4.0 Married Love 4.15 On The Train To Chemnitz 5.0 Ring Around The Bath 5.30 The Alan Davies Show calamities. 9.0 Girlfri3nds. The contest reaches its nal stages. 10.0 Im A Celebrity: Best Trials Ever. The most memorable Bushtucker Trials. 11.0 Switch. Grace decides to leave the city after she is mugged. Sky1 6.0pm Futurama. Fry makes a deal with the Robot Devil. 6.30 The Simpsons. Homer becomes a hippie. 7.0 The Simpsons. Marge sends Homer to a mental institution. 7.30 The Simpsons. Bart is befriended by mobsters. 8.0 The Glee Project. The hopefuls demonstrate their adaptability. 9.0 Last Resort. Kendal is drawn into a battle above ground. 10.0 Fringe. The team ends up in the forest home of a strange race of people. 11.0 An Idiot Abroad 2. Karl Pilkington arrives back in the UK. Last in the series. 12.0 Trollied. The sta accidentally discover one anothers pay rates. Sky Arts 1 6.0pm First Love. Sue Perkins learns to play the piano again after 25 years. 7.0 Work Of Art: The Next Great Artist. The contestants create street art in Brooklyn. 8.0 Norman Mailer: The American. Prole of the American author and journalist. 9.0 Altered By Elvis. The lives of people deeply aected by Elvis Presley. 10.0 Blur The Singles Night. Highlights of the bands 1999 concert at Wembley Arena. 11.20 Pixies Live At Eurockeennes. A performance by the alternative rock group. TCM 7.20pm Thunder Over The Plains. Western, starring Randolph Scott. 9.0 Dirty Harry. Police thriller, starring Clint Eastwood. 10.55 Pat Garrett And Billy The Kid. Western, starring James Coburn and Kris Kristoerson.
7.0pm Young Apprentice (R) (S) Alan Sugar plucks another 12 young entrepreneurs from the classroom and gives them the chance to win 25,000 to start a business career.
7.0pm World News Today (S) (Followed by Weather.) 7.30 Timothy Spall: Back At Sea (R) (S) (AD) Tim and Shane navigate their way through misty waters on the west coast of Scotland. 8.0 Britains Best Drives (R) (S) Richard Wilson drives around the Lake District. 8.30 Tales From The Wild Wood (S) Spring arrives in Strawberry Cottage Wood.
7.30 Hughs 3 Good Things (S) Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall provides a selection of recipes using courgettes as the main ingredient.
8.0 The Removal Men (S) A 20ft-long model of a triceratops needs removing from a museum. (Followed by 5 News At 9.)
8.0 Gavin & Stacey (R) (S) (AD) The happy couple are welcomed home after their honeymoon. 8.30 Gavin & Stacey (R) (S) (AD) Smithy goes missing following Nessas revelation.
8.0 Sarah Beenys Selling Houses (R) (S) The presenter helps three homeowners in Guildford improve the saleability of their properties.
8.0 Richard E Grants Hotel Secrets (R) (S) The actor visits the Bastilles LHotel in Paris where Oscar Wilde spent his nal days.
9.0 Dallas (S) Rebeccas life is in turmoil in the wake of her violent confrontation with Tommy. Last in the series.
9.0 Unsafe Sex In The City (S) A man hopes he is not diagnosed with chlamydia for the fourth time.
9.0 Breakfast, Lunch And Dinner (S) New series. Clarissa Dickson Wright reveals the origins and development of the three core daily meals, beginning by charting the history of the British breakfast. 10.0 Getting On (S) Comedy drama, starring Jo Brand. 10.30 The Unseen Alistair Cooke (R) (S) (AD) A prole of the journalist and broadcaster.
9.0 24 Hours In A&E (R) (S) A 74-year-old with terminal bladder cancer is brought in after his condition worsens.
9.0 The Sopranos (R) (S) Junior is appointed boss of the DiMeo crime family and Tony has a temporary impotence problem as a result of taking antidepressants.
10.0 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (R) (S) The detectives suspect that a womans death was caused by a rare toxic agent. 10.55 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (R) (S) 11.55 The Mentalist (R) (S) The return of the crime drama starring Simon Baker. Jane tries to nd out more about Loreleis connection to serial killer Red John.
10.0 Unzipped (S) Greg James and Russell Kane investigate the behaviour of Brits, drawing on an extensive report. 10.45 Family Guy (R) (S) Brian invites his long-lost son Dylan to live with the Grins. 11.10 Family Guy (R) (S) 11.30 American Dad! (R) (S) 11.55 American Dad! (R) (S) The family is unaware of Roger plans to become the king of spring break.
10.0 One Born Every Minute (R) (S) (AD) Fly-on-thewall documentary observing the lives of sta and patients on a busy maternity ward in Leeds.
10.15 Boardwalk Empire (R) (S) (AD) Owen investigates a suspicious re and Gillian begins a feud with Lucky Luciano.
11.30 Human Planet (R) (S) (AD) An insight into how nature has adapted to life in urban environments, from an invasion of giant elk in Colorados Estes Park to mischievous monkeys in Jaipur. Last in the series.
8.0 The Moral Maze. With panellists Melanie Phillips, Kenan Malik, Matthew Taylor and Claire Fox. 8.45 Four Thought. Novelist James Friel defends the virtue of the single life. 9.0 Frontiers. New series. A look at what particle physicists are doing after nding the Higgs boson. 9.30 Midweek. 9.59 Weather 10.0 The World Tonight. News round-up. 10.45 Book At Bedtime: The Cleaner Of Chartres. By Salley Vickers. 11.0 Irish Micks And Legends. A contemporary take on the legendary land of Tir na Nog. 11.15 Living With Mother. Comedy drama, starring Daniel Mays and Linda Robson. 11.30 Today In Parliament. 12.0 News And Weather 12.30 Book Of The
11.05 Extreme A&E (R) (S) Kevin Fong explores the work of doctors in the trauma unit at Charlotte Maxeke Hospital in Johannesburg. Last in the series.
11.30 Recount (Jay Roach, 2008) (R) Convincing factbased drama about the controversial result of the 2000 US presidential election. With Kevin Spacey, Laura Dern, John Hurt and Tom Wilkinson.
Bowens Men Of Fashion 2.30 Born Brilliant: The Life Of Kenneth Williams 2.45 A Kestrel For A Knave 3.0 Lost Empires 4.0 The 4 OClock Show 5.0 Ring Around The Bath 5.30 The Alan Davies Show 6.0 A Collection Of Bones 6.15 The Matrix 6.30 Weird Tales 7.0 Hancocks Half Hour 7.30 Im Sorry Ill Read That Again 8.0 The Saint 9.0 Married Love 9.15 On The Train To Chemnitz 10.0 Comedy Club: Gloomsbury 10.30 Stockport, So Good They Named It Once 11.0 The Hare Lane Diaries 11.30 Laura Solon: Talking And Not Talking 12.0 A Collection Of Bones 12.15 The Matrix 12.30
New In Town, Film4

World Brieng 3.30 Outlook 4.0 News 4.06 HARDtalk 4.30 Sport Today 5.0 World Brieng 5.30 World Business Report 6.0 World Have Your Say 7.0 World Brieng 7.30 Health Check 7.50 From Our Own Correspondent 8.0 News 8.06 HARDtalk 8.30 The Strand 8.50 Witness 9.0 Newshour 10.0 News 10.06 Outlook 10.30 World Business Report 11.0 World Brieng 11.30 Business Daily 11.50 Witness 12.0 World Brieng 12.30 Health Check 12.50 Sports News 1.0 World Brieng 1.30 World Business Report 1.50 From Our Own Correspondent 2.0 News 2.06 HARDtalk 2.30 Outlook 3.0 Newsday 3.30 The Strand 3.50 Witness 4.0 Newsday 4.30 Health Check 4.50 From Our Own Correspondent 5.0 Newsday
Radio 4
92.4-94.6 MHz; 198kHz

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Week: On Wheels. Michael Holroyds memoir reveals the pleasures of driving a Daf with no gears. (R) 12.48 Shipping Forecast
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Puzzles
On the web For tips and all manner of crossword debates go to guardian.co.uk/crosswords
Quick crossword no 13,260

Across
1 Deprived urban area of run-down huts (6,4) 7 Localised tissue decay 7 from infection or lack of blood supply (8) 8 Sediment in alcohol (4) 9 Kind of pastry (4) 10 Couture (7) 12 From the islands of northwestern Oceania (11) 14 Pot (7) 16 Really bad (4) 19 Fruit bird (4) 14 20 With a pH of over 7 (8) 21 Older, richer male partner (5,5)
19 1 2 3 4 5 6 8
Sudoku no 2338
6 3 8 9 4 5 1 8
1 2 6 7 3 6
Want more? Access over 4,000 archive puzzles at guardian.co.uk/crossword. Buy all four Guardian quick crosswords books for only 20 inc UK p&p (save 7.96). Visit guardianbooks.co.uk or call 0330 333 6846.
9 11 12
10
13
15 18 20
16
17
4 7 9 2
2 9 7 1
8 5
Down
1 Rod workforce (5) 2 Cherubic (7) 3 Overly precious (4) 4 Wordsworth country (3,5) 5 From Aberystwyth, perhaps (5) 6 Type of drug (6) 11 Southern African country (8) 12 Nasty piece of work? (6) 13 Lacking legal force (7) 15 Japanese verse (5) 17 Tall and thin (5)
21
18 Slide sideways (4)
Solution no 13,259
MI RE A H I T EM L T F S MO K I H R F OP I AT T C Y OF S B I TOADF O L T AL L EY CALCULUS L O I A BL I NKERS E J D H NGGUN E G M D E GALAXY S T T S F T H EWA L L R D H E L A X MAN X T R I CAT D I VA
Medium. Fill the grid so that each row, column and 3x3 box contains the numbers 1-9. Printable version at guardian.co.uk/sudoku
Solution to no 2337
8 4 7 6 9 3 2 1 5 5 1 6 8 4 2 9 7 3 9 2 3 1 5 7 4 8 6 3 6 8 2 1 4 7 5 9 2 7 9 5 8 6 1 3 4 4 5 1 3 7 9 6 2 8 1 8 4 9 2 5 3 6 7 6 9 2 7 3 8 5 4 1 7 3 5 4 6 1 8 9 2
Stuck? For help call 0906 751 0039 or text GUARDIANQ followed by a space, the day and date the crossword appeared another space and the CLUE reference to 85010 (e.g GUARDIANQ Wednesday24 Down20). Calls cost 77p a minute from a BT Landline. Calls from other networks may vary and mobiles will be considerably higher. Texts cost 50p a clue plus standard network charges. Service supplied by ATS. Call 0844 836 9769 for customer service (charged at local rate, 2p a min from a BT landline).
Stuck? For help call 0906 751 0036. Calls cost 77p a minute from a BT Landline. Calls from other networks may vary and mobiles will be considerably higher. Service supplied by ATS. Call 0844 836 9769 for customer service (charged at local rate, 2p a min from a BT landline). Free tough puzzles at www.puzzler. com/guardian
Doonesbury If...
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Garry Trudeau

Beware The Disaster Capitalists

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Wednesday 07.11.

Beware the disaster capitalists

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