Change Anything

The New Science of Personal Success By By Kerry Patterson, et al.

Business Plus, 2012 ISBN 9780446573917

Introduction
Five decades ago, the legendary psychologist Walter Mischel demonstrated that children who could sit down with a marshmallow in front of them and not eat it for a full 15 minutes did better in almost every area of their lives than more impulsive kids who scooped up the treat and ate it right away - in spite of the fact they were all instructed to wait. As Mischel followed his research subjects for the next two decades, he learned that the children who delayed gratification eventually scored hundreds of points higher on standardized school tests. They also had stronger relationships, were promoted more often and were happier. Mischel showed that the capacity to delay gratification is a big deal. Unfortunately, to this day people draw the wrong conclusions from this study. They fall into what might be called "the willpower trap." They assume that the only reason some kids were better at delaying gratification than others was that nature had endowed them with more willpower. Period. The research subjects who withstood temptation showed more moxie or strength of character. It's little wonder that their lives unfolded in happier and more successful ways. They were innately stronger. That is the same simplistic assumption most of us make when explaining why we fail to change our bad habits. When we fall off the wagon, go on a shopping spree, give in to our hair-trigger temper with a co-worker, procrastinate over work tasks, or binge-eat, we blame our failure on lack of willpower. We obviously just didn't want it badly enough. Of course, when we succeed, we brag about our grit, tenacity and commitment. Either way, we point to willpower. This simplistic view is not only wrong, it's tragically wrong. It's wrong because it's incomplete. And it's tragic because it gives us nowhere to go when we struggle to change our own bad habits or improve our lot. When people believe their ability to make good choices stems from nothing more than their willpower - and that willpower is a quality they're either born with or they're not - they eventually stop trying altogether. The willpower trap keeps them in a depressing cycle that begins with heroic commitment to change, is followed by eroding motivation, and terminates inevitably with relapse into old habits.

Adding Skills
Fortunately, Mischel's research goes further than most of us realize. A few years after his original study, he and Albert Bandura (another dean of psychology) asked a crucial question. They wondered if what appeared to be will might in fact be a function of skill. The two scholars suspected that the kids who controlled their cravings weren't simply more motivated than those who gave in to their temptation, but were more able to resist because they'd learned a skill or two along the way. That was an important issue to settle because if Mischel and Bandura had it right, it would mean that the failure to harness one's impulses is not fixed at birth. Although grit and its close cousin character may be genetic, skills can actually be learned. This alternative explanation offers hope to all of us. It's also the reason that researchers in the Change Anything labs studied 28 four-year-olds to see if they could teach contemporary children skills that help them actively delay gratification rather than sit back and hope they won the willpower lottery. They replicated Mischel's experiment, asking a group of children to sit in front of a marshmallow and promising them that if they resisted eating the treat for 15 minutes, they would be given a second sugary treat. Fourteen kids were in the control group, and to nobody's surprise they performed just as the original subjects had done in 1962. About a third of the subjects gutted it out for 15 minutes. The other two-thirds lunged for the sweet. The plot thickened as they brought in the experimental group of 14 youngsters. They were made the same offer, but also taught skills that they could use if they wanted to wait. Rather than simply instructing them to hunker down, the researchers taught them to use distance and distraction to influence their own behavior.

It turned out that 50% more kids were successful at holding out for the second marshmallow when taught a couple of distraction skills - demonstrating that one of the toughest barriers to personal success isn't one's lack of moxie, chutzpah or willpower, but the mistaken belief that willpower is the key to change. When it comes to changing our behavior, skills also play an important role.

Another Experiment
Let's return to the laboratories for another experiment, where six sources of influence were studied to see if this affected older kids' behavior. To test the multiple sources of influence, the research team designed an experiment to tempt kids to do what many adults routinely do - spend themselves into bankruptcy in spite of their best intentions for the future. Each child was given a "career" that would last 10 minutes and include four simple tasks. The kids would be paid $10 for completing each task. If they did what they were told, they could earn up to $40. The students were also warned they would be offered opportunities along the way to spend their earnings. To help them resist these temptations, they were invited to think about what they would like to do once they returned home. As the kids talked about the money they could earn, it was clear that they had exciting plans for the loot. They all seemed motivated to resist the temptation to spend. Then, one at a time, they began their careers. They were surprised at how simple it was to make money. In the first task, for example, they ranked assorted candies from least to most favorite. For their second task, they alphabetized toys. After each task, they were paid the promised $10 and invited to look at a special store, a countertop arranged with inexpensive candies and toys. The first thing the shoppers noticed was that the prices were five to 10 times what they would pay in a regular store. The first 15 kids emerged from the lab with less than $13 of the possible $40 in their pockets. A couple left with only the shirts on their backs and a handful of overpriced goodies. One excited buyer spent his entire fortune on Silly String. He told his mother later, "I'm so stupid! I could have had 40 bucks! But now all I have is this dumb Silly String!" But not everyone spent lavishly. A second group of 15 kids saved an average of $34 of their $40. What caused the profound difference in spending? The answer is that the research team manipulated six different sources of influence to affect the subjects' behavior - the same six influences that operate on you 24 hours a day. With the first group, the spenders, the six sources were used to promote spending. With the second group, savers, the same six sources were used to promote saving.

Six Sources of Influence

Here are those six sources of influence: 1. Personal motivation. First, the researchers tapped into the subjects' existing desires and wants. After rank-ordering the candies, the spending subjects were invited to taste their favorite treat. Yum. By contrast, the saving subjects were asked to think about something they really wanted to buy with their $40. Change tactic: If you interrupt your impulse by connecting with your goals during crucial moments, you can greatly improve your chances of success. When it comes to changing ourselves, the biggest challenge is that the things we should do are often boring, uncomfortable or even painful. Ergo, we don't want to do them. Or, to be more accurate, we want to do them - in the abstract, just not in real life. We want to do them in the future, just not the present. You therefore have to learn to love what you hate through techniques like visiting your default future, imagining what will happen if you don't change. 2. Personal ability. The researchers next worked on personal ability by teaching savers how to keep a running total on a sheet of paper of how much they saved or spent. The savers all did this easily. The spenders, however, were taught no such technique, so their sinking net worth got lost in the rush to buy now. Change tactic: Changing persistent and resistant habits involves learning new skills.

If you want to change, you can embrace a promising new skill-development tool called deliberate practice. Instead of talking about your intentions, practice with a coach or friend. And make sure you practice for crucial moments, preparing in advance for situations that might trip you up. 3. Social motivation. Next, they made use of social forces. As the experiment unfolded, the spenders were joined by three other kids (confederates of the research team) who spent as if there were no tomorrow - and encouraged the research subjects to join them. The savers were also joined by three confederates - but while two spent freely, the third said that she was trying to save and encouraged subjects to do the same. Change tactic: Bad habits are almost always a social disease - if those around us model and encourage them, we'll almost always fall prey. Turn "accomplices" into true friends who model and encourage you towards your goal, and you can be two-thirds more likely to succeed. 4. Social ability. Next, the researchers used the confederates to enable good or bad choices. The savers were reminded by their friend that the prices in this store were outrageous and that if they could simply wait 10 minutes they'd be able to get more for less elsewhere. Savers received no such information. Change tactic: Changing deeply entrenched habits invariably requires help, information and real support from others. Get a coach, and you'll make the change more likely. It's also helpful to redefine what's normal. Take a look at how your accomplices may be affecting your view of what's normal. If you continue to measure yourself against unhealthy or unrealistic "norms," your change plan is at risk. Ask yourself two questions: how do you want to live and feel, and who do you want to be? 5. Structural motivation. The savers were paid in cold, hard cash. When they spent money, they had to fork over the real deal so they felt the loss at the very moment they made a purchase. Spenders, in contrast, were told their money was in an account. Their money was magically deducted from some abstract bucket. Thus, their spending felt painless - all gain, no pain - until they were in the car on the way home. Change tactic: Directly link short-term rewards and punishments to the new habits you're trying to form, and you're far more likely to stay on track. You are inverting the economy, through incentives, in your favor. An accountant who needed to improve at work, boosting her knowledge of tax law and her billable hours, came up with a 10-week action plan. She put $200 in $20 bills in a jar, and if at the end of a week her life partner agreed she'd made her goal for that period, she would take out a $20 bill and place it in another jar marked, "New bicycle," for a present to herself. If she didn't make the goal, the $20 went into a jar labeled with the name of the political party she opposed. In the end, she held that political party to just a $40 donation, and made progress towards her bicycle and work goals. 6. Structural ability. For the final source of influence, spenders walked into a room surrounded by tantalizing pictures of candy. Savers saw no such pictures in their room. Change tactic: Small changes in your environment can have a surprising effect on your choices. For example, just add a few visual cues that help you focus on your goals, and your behavior will change rapidly.

Conclusion
Studies show that those who marshal the six sources of influence in their change plan are 10 times more likely to succeed than those who don't. - End About the authors : Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, David Maxfield, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler work for the training firm VitalSmarts.

Related Reading
Any of these books can be ordered directly from Amazon ( A), Barnes & Noble ( B) or Chapters ( C) or may be summarized in our execuBook library (E).

Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior, by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler, McGraw-Hill, 2004, ISBN 9780071446525. ABCE Influencer: The Power to Change Anything, by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, David Maxfield, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler, McGraw-Hill, 2007, ISBN 9780071484992. ABCE Outliers: The Story of Success, by Malcolm Gladwell, Little, Brown, 2008, ISBN 9780316017923. ABCE