Scenes from the Zombie Apocalypse

Fifteen plays about zombies for you to perform (if you dare)

By Kent Suss
Fifteen zombie plays page 1

Authors note:
These plays can be played any way you wish: as comedy, tragedy, social commentary, or gorefest. They can be done with hardly anything to distinguish the humans from the zombies, and with understated violence, or they can be played with lots of makeup, stage blood, and screaming. Its really up to you. Perform them alone or together, in any order you wish. In some scenes Ive written actual words the zombies say. In other places, they say things like Grrr and Hrrrgh! Its up to you to decide how to make your zombies speak. Can they speak clearly enough to be understood, or do they just speak in roars and grunts? Once youve tried out these scenes, why not make up your own scenarios about zombies and take the story in a new direction? I hope working on these scenes inspires you to explore the exciting world of acting and writing, for theatre and film. Several of these scenes were first performed by students from Frontier School Division as part of the Royal Winnipeg Ballets Northern Connections exchange, June 2011. Others were made into short films by students in the Advanced Film class at Manitoba Theatre for Young People in Fall, 2011 and screened at the Freeze Frame Film Festival, Winnipeg, 2012. These plays may be performed royalty free for class projects and non-profit events. (Publishing and Professional Stage or Motion Picture rights reserved.) Kent Suss 2012

Fifteen zombie plays

page 2

Cast of Characters:
The zombie hunters: Jeremy Cares about his image, his lingo, his hair. Doesnt hate the zombies so much as hes disgusted by them. Ruby Courageous leader of the freedom fighters. Theo A really nice guy. Hes got room in his heart for the zombies. Sarah A science nerd who helps unravel the mystery of the zombies. Vaughn A chivalrous romantic, Vaughn cant get over Janet. The fact that shes a zombie doesnt matter. Dustin brags about how tough he is to hide his fear of the zombies. The adults: Hilda a lunch lady at the school cafeteria Sally another lunch lady Sarahs Mom Sarahs Grandma The Zombies: Theos mother Janet Ronald Many more

Fifteen zombie plays

page 3

Scene One: Pork and Brains

Location: The school cafeteria

4 or more actors

Characters: Jeremy, the Lunch Ladies Hilda and Sally, zombies, other students Staging note: Zombies are on chairs, facing upstage. It should not be obvious to the audience that they are zombies until the very end of the scene. ThenSURPRISE!! (Jeremy is in line at the school cafeteria. He carries a tray.) JEREMY Whats the special today? Oh, (he reads) Pork and Beans. Ill have that. SALLY Thats not what it says. JEREMY Huh? SALLY It doesnt say Pork and Beans. Cant you read? Isnt this a school? Am I missing something here, Hilda? Dont they teach these kids to read? JEREMY I can read! HILDA (at cash register, serving Sarah) Fries and gravy, diet cola, three dollars and sixtyfour cents, thank you. SALLY Are you listening to me, Hilda? HILDA Stuff it, Sally. Cant you see Im busy? JEREMY Look, lady, I can read. And Im hungry. So just serve up some pork and beans, ok? SALLY You look, kid. Cuz I say, you cant read, and I wouldnt know what to serve up, cuz there isnt anything on todays menu called Pork and Beans.

Fifteen zombie plays

page 4

JEREMY Its right there, lady! (reads) Pork and B. Oh, Pork and Brains. Pork and Brains?? (he shrugs.) Okay, Ill try the Pork and Brains. SALLY Well, you cant. JEREMY Why not? HILDA (warningly) Sally! SALLY Because were all out of Pork and Brains, thats why! (the zombie students turn around, revealing full zombie makeup for the first time.) ZOMBIES (ad lib) Wha-? Huh? Out of Pork and Brains? Nooo! Grrr! (in unison) Pork and Brains! Pork and Brains! (the zombies rise and begin to stumble around, trying to chase Jeremy and the lunch ladies.) SALLY (running around and freaking out) Hilda! Hilda! The zombies! The zombies are revolting! HILDA Theyre revolting all right. (the lunch ladies and Jeremy run off.)

Fifteen zombie plays

page 5

Scene Two: Zombies in the Family

Location: Theos house.

(6 or more performers)

Characters: Theo, Theos Mom, Jeremy, Ruby, Dustin, zombies (Jeremy, Ruby, and Dustin knock on Theos door. Theo opens it for them. They enter.) THEO Hi Ruby. Hey guys. JEREMY Yo. THEO Whats up? RUBY Whats up? Theo, where have you been? Whats up is, the zombie apocalypse is upon us, and humans are locked in a life and death struggle with the powers of evil, and the Freedom Fighters need you. THEO Thats cool. Hey, have you guys met my Mom? (Theos mother appears. She is obviously a zombie.) Mom, this is Ruby, thats Jeremy, and I dont know this dude. DUSTIN Dustin. THEO And this is Dustin the dude. DUSTIN Just Dustin. THEOS MOM Hello Justin. DUSTIN Dustin!!! RUBY Um, Theo?

Fifteen zombie plays

page 6

THEO What? RUBY Your motheris a zombie. THEO She is not! RUBY She is so! JEREMY and DUSTIN (ad lib) She is, for sure! THEO Shut up! She might hear you! What makes you think that? RUBY Look at her! Her eyes are sunken, and her hair is all (She gestures to show how crazy Theos moms hair is.) THEO Shes really tired, ok? She worked late, and she just got up! DUSTIN What happened to her clothes? THEO Shes hasnt had time to do her laundry. JEREMY Her skin is green, man. THEOS MOM Hrrrrgh! (the zombie hunters jump back nervously) THEO Shes having a hard day, ok? She quit smoking this morning. DUSTIN Shes eating your cat!

Fifteen zombie plays

page 7

RUBY and JEREMY Oh, gross! THEO Look, shes craving a cigarette and shes snacking as a self-comforting response. ZOMBIES (More zombies come up behind Theos Mom and appear in the doorway. They surround Theo and his friends, touching and examining them.) Hrrrgh! Theo, who are your friends? Such nice young people. RUBY (pushing away a zombie who has been touching her hair) Theo, you have to come with us. Zombies have taken over the school and we need your help to stop them from taking over the whole world! The world needs you, Theo! THEO Im not leaving my mom! RUBY, JEREMY, and DUSTIN (ad lib) Shes a zombie, man! Face the facts! Use your brain! ZOMBIES (ad lib) Brain? Mmm. Brains. (Zombies approach the zombie hunters hungrily. The zombie hunters retreat, pulling Theo with them.) JEREMY Lets go! THEOS MOM Theo, where are you going? THEO Just out, Mom. THEOS MOM When will you be back? THEO I dont know, Mom. THEOS MOM Dinner is at 6 oclock, Theo. Dont be late for dinner! ZOMBIES Dont be late for dinner, Theo!

Fifteen zombie plays

page 8

Scene Three: The New Guy

Location: a shed

6 performers

Characters: Theo, Ronald, Dustin, Jeremy, Vaughn, Ruby (Dustin, Jeremy, Vaughn, and Ruby are hiding out in a shed. Vaughn is watching out a window with binoculars.) DUSTIN And then I popped the zombie right in the head. JEREMY With a gun? DUSTIN No, I used a shovel. Bam! It went DOWN! JEREMY Wow. RUBY (yawn) Yeah, wow. DUSTIN And out of nowhere, ten more showed up! I went ballistic on them! Barely made it out alive. JEREMY Double wow. High Five! (Dustin and Jeremy high five.) VAUGHN Theyre coming! Get the door! (Ruby opens the door and Theo bursts in, supporting Ronald, with Ronalds arm around his neck. Ruby pulls them in. Vaughn closes the door. Dustin shrinks back from Ronald.) DUSTIN Yikes! Whats he doing here? That guys a freaking zombie! RUBY (drily) Youre not afraid, are you? Theo, what happened? THEO We got ambushed at the drugstore, and Ronald got bitten.

Fifteen zombie plays

page 9

DUSTIN (scared out of his pants) I told you hes a zombie! Somebody do something! THEO Give him a break he cant help it! RUBY Theo, no zombies allowed. THEO Thats not a rule. RUBY Ronald, you cant stay. Youll have to go join your own kind. THEO But hes a Freedom Fighter just like me! Why does he have to go? RUBY Theo, its the Freedom Fighters against the zombies. Thats the war. Freedom Fighters. Zombies. No mixing. THEO What about the Freedom Fighter pledge? RUBY What about it? VAUGHN Once a Freedom Fighter THEO, JEREMY, RONALD, and VAUGHN always a Freedom Fighter. VAUGHN Theres nothing in the pledge that says you can be kicked out for becoming a zombie. If we are going to survive, we have to stick together. DUSTIN Just keep that freak away from me! RUBY (To Vaughn) Were all going to die because of you.

Fifteen zombie plays

page 10

Scene Four: Boo Boo

Location: the shed

(6 performers)

Characters: Theo, Ronald (a zombie), Dustin, Jeremy, Vaughn, Ruby (Dustin, Jeremy, Vaughn, Ruby, Theo and Ronald are planning their next move. Dustin is the only one reacting to Ronalds condition: hes terrified of him.) RUBY Vaughn, lets you and I do a food run to the grocery store. VAUGHN Good idea. RUBY Jeremy and Dustin, go to the drugstore across the street. We need more first aid supplies, and anything we can use to fight the zombies. JEREMY Awesome! DUSTIN Are you nuts? The streets are crawling with zombies. If we go out there, well get ourselves killed! JEREMY Come on, Dustin, you and I will take those zombies DOWN! DUSTIN Im not going anywhere. VAUGHN Theo, you go with Jeremy. Dustin, you stay and guard the shedwith Ronald. DUSTIN Oh no. I am not staying in here alone with him (points to Ronald). Hell try to eat my brain! Forget it! Jeremy, lets go kick some zombie butt! (Dustin and Jeremy exit) VAUGHN Okay, Ruby, lets go. RUBY Wait. Hold him down. (Vaughn holds Ronald down while Ruby ties a rope around

Fifteen zombie plays

page 11

his neck.) You may be a Freedom Fighter, but youre also a zombie, and I dont trust you. (She ties the other end to a chair leg and leaves with Vaughn. Ronald and Theo are alone.) RONALD Boo boo. THEO What did you say? RONALD (holds up his finger) Boo boo. THEO Hold on, Ron, I have a bandage in here somewhere. (He finds an adhesive bandage in his bag, unwraps it, and puts it on Ronalds finger.) There you go, buddy. All better. RONALD Owwie. THEO What? RONALD (tugging at the rope around his neck) Owwie. Owwie! THEO Does that rope hurt, Ronald? RONALD (nodding vigorously) Owwie! THEO (unties the rope) I guess we shouldnt be torturing you while youre doing your job! Youre still a Freedom Fighter, after all. There. Youre free. (The moment he is free, Ronald grabs Theos arm and pulls it to his mouth and bites. Theo screams, and moans with pain, clutching his arm.) THEO You bit me! You bit me. RONALD (smiles and points at Theos wounded arm.) Boo boo.

Fifteen zombie plays

page 12

Scene Five: Janet

Location: a parking lot

(2-6 performers)

Characters: Vaughn, Jeremy, Janet, Ruby, more zombies (Ruby and Vaughn enter, pursued by zombies. Halfway across the stage, Vaughn drops his keys.) VAUGHN Shoot! I dropped my keys! (He turns back) RUBY (grabbing Vaughn by the arm.) Just leave them. Lets go! VAUGHN I need those. How am I supposed to get into my house? (Vaughn pulls free of Rubys grip and goes back for the keys. As he bends down to pick them up, the zombies surround him, cutting off his escape.) RUBY Vaughn! Behind you! (The zombies close in on Vaughn and grab him.) RUBY Ill get help! (Ruby runs off. The zombies push Vaughn.) VAUGHN Dont hurt me! Im innocent! (The zombies are about to bite Vaughn, when he recognizes one of them.) VAUGHN Janet? Is that you? Janet! (The zombies pause and look at Janet. Janet, a zombie, steps forward.) VAUGHN Janet! Im so glad to see you! (pause) Why havent you been returning my phone calls?

Fifteen zombie plays

page 13

JANET (after an inner struggle, she shrugs.) I dunno. VAUGHN I called you after the school dance. I thought you liked me. (The zombies let go of Vaughn) JANET (with difficulty) Vaughn? VAUGHN Do you like me? JANET Yes. VAUGHN Ive been thinking of you every day. Remember the song we danced to? JANET (starts to nod, then shakes her head) Nuugh. NUUGH! ZOMBIES (growling in unison, they begin to move towards Vaughn) NRRRGH! (Vaughn sings a line of a romantic song. The zombies stop marching towards him. Janet tries to sing along. She is only partly successful at mumbling the words, but she manages to approximate the melody. A recording of the song comes on.) VAUGHN May I have this dance? (Holds out his hands to Janet. Janet steps forward. They dance together. The other zombies sway.) VAUGHN Do you remember what you said to me when we danced to this song last time? JANET (thinks hard and then shrugs) I dunno. VAUGHN You said youd always remember this dance! JANET I did?

Fifteen zombie plays

page 14

(Vaughn stops dancing, but keeps holding Janets hand. Janet sniffs Vaughns hand hungrily. Looking the other way, so hes unaware that shes about to bite him, he pulls his hand away and fishes a piece of paper from his pocket.) VAUGHN I wrote you this note. Its full of all the mushy stuff I didnt have the guts to say out loud. (Janet takes the note, unfolds it, and eats it. Ruby enters with Jeremy. Ruby brandishes a weapon. Zombies shrink back. Jeremy grabs Vaughn and begin to drag him away.) JEREMY Vaughn! Time to go! VAUGHN Janet! Dont forget me! RUBY She cant hear you, Vaughn. JANET Vaughn! VAUGHN Janet! RUBY The lights are on, Vaughn, but theres no one at home. JEREMY Lets get out of here! VAUGHN (shouting) Goodbye Janet. Wed make a good couple! Think about it! (Janet and the rest of the zombies chase Vaughn, Ruby, and Jeremy off.)

Fifteen zombie plays

page 15

Scene Six: The Corpse

Location: the shed

(5 performers)

Characters: Vaughn, Theo, Janet, Ronald, Dustin (Zombies are gathered around Dustins corpse, Theo is chewing on his fingers, Janet is biting his leg, Ronald is scooping out his brain and eating it. Dustin suddenly wakes up.) DUSTIN Whats going on? Hey! What are you doing? THEO Huuhr? DUSTIN You ate my fingers! THEO Hu-hu-huungry! DUSTIN I dont care! How am I supposed to play guitar? (he holds up his fingerless hand) Thanks a lot! JANET Are you mad? DUSTIN Yes Im mad! JANET Sorry. DUSTIN (sees Ronald the zombie eating a handful of gooey brain matter.) Hey, what are you eating? RONALD Huh? DUSTIN Is that my brain? Give that back! I need that!

Fifteen zombie plays

page 16

RONALD Why? DUSTIN (He takes the brain away from Ronald and tries to shove it back into his head through his ear.) Its my brain, stupid. What do YOU think? (The zombies shrug to one another. Dustin snorts the rest of the brain through his nose and drives it with a snoring noise up into his sinuses. He gives his head a shake.) VAUGHN (offstage) Janet! Has anyone seen Janet? (Vaughn enters, and runs to Janet.) VAUGHN Janet! JANET Vaughn? VAUGHN Janet, Ive been thinkingI know what you meant when you ate my note! JANET You do? VAUGHN You meant that youd never forget me. That youd always have me inside youI mean, my WORDS would be inside you, literally, but not literally in your stomach in your heart not literally, figuratively. JANET I did? VAUGHN Yes. You did. Didnt you? RONALD Listen, buddy, were busy here. VAUGHN This is none of your business. Im talking to Janet.

Fifteen zombie plays

page 17

THEO Janet, should we kill this guy or what.

JANET Um VAUGHN Dont just kill me bite me! Make me one of you, make me one of the undead, so I can live foreverwith Janet! JANET Forever? VAUGHN Yes, my love. (Janet looks anxiously from Dustin to Ronald to Theo and back.) DUSTIN (shrugs) Whatever. RONALD We could just kill him and eat him, unless you want him around gabbing away forever. JANET Maybe we could just bite him for now, and turn him into a zombie on a trial basis? RONALD And if he never shuts up RONALD, THEO, DUSTIN, and JANET Well eat him. (The zombies bite Vaughn. Vaughn screams.)

Fifteen zombie plays

page 18

Scene Seven: Dating the Dead

Location: Sarahs house

(4 performers)

Characters: Sarah, Ronald, Sarahs mother, Sarahs grandmother (Ronald the zombie is over at Sarahs house, having dinner with her and her mother and her grandmother.) GRANDMA So Ronald, how long have you been dating Sarah? SARAHS MOM I told you, Mom, they met in Bio lab last week. Have some more meatloaf, Ronald. RONALD Thank you maam. GRANDMA I know, Lorelei, but Id like to hear Ronald answer. RONALD About a week, maam. SARAH Would someone pass the green beans? (Sarahs Mom passes the beans) GRANDMA Sarah tells me youre graduating from high school this year. SARAHS MOM Green beans, Ronald? RONALD Yesm. No, Maam! GRANDMA What do you plan to do with yourself next year? RONALD I dunno. GRANDMA Well, do you have any interests?

Fifteen zombie plays

page 19

RONALD I like to swarm. GRANDMA Whats that? SARAHS MOM Mom, its one of those things teenagers like to do these days. Its nothing. GRANDMA Id like to know! What is this swarming thing? Is it on Oprah? RONALD Lots of us get together, outside, and then we all walk in the same direction, and if we meet anybody, wewe bite them. GRANDMA Well! It sounds like you should have a little more supervision. Where are your parents while youre swarming? RONALD They mostly just sit around the house. GRANDMA Do they know what youre up to? RONALD My parents dont really understand me. SARAHS MOM Kids these days are different than when you grew up, Mom. At least theyre not just sitting inside watching a computer screen like some kids I know! Ronalds a big outdoors enthusiast! GRANDMA Maybe he should get a job. What about you, Sarah? Are you into this swarming business too? SARAH II went along once, but (Ronald and Sarah chuckle) RONALD She wasnt very good at it!

Fifteen zombie plays

page 20

SARAH (touches Ronalds shoulder affectionately) Well, I cant be expected to be very good on my first try. The walking is no trouble its the biting part I had trouble with. (suddenly, an eerie foghorn-like sound is heard: the zombie call. Ronald rises and walks to the window, his body charged with energy from the sound. Sarah follows him.) SARAH Are you leaving, Ronald? RONALD (turns to Sarah) Grrhh! SARAH Ronald? SARAHS MOM Come again, Ronald. Youre welcome over for dinner anytime. SARAH Goodbye, Ronald. RONALD Uggh. (Ronald exits.) GRANDMA I still think he should get a job! Is he some kind of juvenile delinquent or something?

Fifteen zombie plays

page 21

Scene Eight: The Epidemic

(4 performers)

Location: a school chemistry lab filled with test tubes, microscopes, and text books. Characters: Sarah, Ruby, Jeremy, Ronald (Sarah is reading a text book, taking occasional sips from a drink with a straw. Ruby bursts in through the door, followed by Jeremy. They both carry sticks or other improvised weapons. Sarah raises her hands in surrender.) RUBY Drop it, zombie scum! SARAH Drop what? My slurpee cup? RUBY Just drop any weapons you might have. SARAH Nothing. Just a slurpee cup. Unless you consider this book to be a weapon (she lifts the book.) JEREMY Hey, hey, hey. Put that thing down, ok? RUBY Jeremy, check her out. (Jeremy carefully approaches Sarah and examines her for signs of being a zombie.) SARAH Whats gotten into you two? RUBY Whats gotten into us? Really? (music begins) RUBY By now you may have noticed a weird phenomenon. There are zombies everywhere. Theres an epidemic on! SARAH Oh, that.

Fifteen zombie plays

page 22

JEREMY And it seems to be contagious. Everybodys got the bug. Im seeing undead people crawling from the graves that we have dug em! SARAH Tell me about it. RUBY And theyre dining on the brains of the living what a treat! And their putrefied remains are walking freely on the street. What on earth is going down? This used to be a peaceful little town. Now you cant go out at night JEREMY I cant sleep without a light RUBY and SARAH Theres a zombie epidemic goin on. JEREMY The cause could be an ancient curse. SARAH A mutant virus? RUBY Rhyming verse? (takes a sip from Sarahs straw) SARAH Pesticides? JEREMY Sharing drinks! Toxic waste from the kitchen sink. SARAH A Cafeteria special gone terribly wrong! RUBY The latest Lady Gaga song!

Fifteen zombie plays

page 23

ALL THREE What on earth is going down? This used to be a peaceful little town! SARAH If its something that they ate, Then I think I can create An antidote to turn this mess around! (music stops) RUBY You can create an antidote? SARAH I can try. I just need some blood. (Ruby and Jeremy look at each other. Ruby jerks her chin at Jeremy. Jeremy rolls up his sleeve.) SARAH (giggles) Not your blood Im going to need some of Ronalds blood. (Sarah goes to the closet and opens the door. Ronald staggers out, growling.) SARAH Dont worry, Ronald. This wont hurt a bit. (She pokes Ronalds finger with a pin and holds his hand over a glass jar, collecting the dripping blood. Once shes had enough, she lets go of Ronalds hand and puts the blood on a slide under her microscope. Ronald lumbers off.)

Fifteen zombie plays

page 24

Scene Nine: Second Class Zombie

(3 performers)

Location: on the street Characters: Ronald, Janet, Theo, other zombies (Ronald walks on, rapping. He is joined by Janet, Theo, and other zombies.) RONALD Im a second class citizen, Im out of the mainstream, Im a visible minority, An outcast, a refugee. People want me dead, As if I werent dead already! I dont get no respect. It sucks to be me! And I crave human brains! ZOMBIES Brains! Brains! RONALD Its my chronic addiction ZOMBIES Brains! Brains! RONALD And I cant concentrate ZOMBIES Brains! Brains RONALD I should be on Ritalin JANET I cant manage my anger And I have to take classes Since I bit the quarterback After football practice, I always forget To treat others with respect Well I oughtta stop fighting But I cant stop biting! And I crave human brains!

Fifteen zombie plays

page 25

ZOMBIES Brains! Brains! JANET Its my chronic addiction ZOMBIES Brains! Brains! JANET And my friends dont call ZOMBIES Brains! Brains JANET I should go to counselling THEO My hygiene is poor But I just dont care. I cant remember last night, But I have gore in my hair! And theres blood on my hands And theres stuff in my teeth And people run away screaming When I hit the street And I crave human brains! ZOMBIES Brains! Brains! THEO Its my chronic addiction ZOMBIES Brains! Brains! THEO And I cant find my shoes ZOMBIES Brains! Brains THEO And I wish I was you (points to someone in the audience)

Fifteen zombie plays

page 26