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Losing Faith 10/26/2012 Ann Marie Hanley

Singin to a Man in Heaven Out of all the work I have accomplished in my life I would sign Con Safos after one of my songs, most likely the one I wrote for my Granddaddy. My song deserves to be respected and signed with the Con Safos sign because it is one of the few of my creations I take pride in. It talks about how he made me believe in God and how my Granddaddy made me happy. I based this song on something that really affected me. My Granddaddy meant a lot to me. Having no father he was the only male role model I had in the family that lived within six hours of reach when driving (he lived in LA). He was all I needed because he was always there or so it seemed. My Granddaddy was my best friend, and my math buddy. When it came to math, well, he was a genius. He was the genius, and I was his little assistant. I was his little Math Wiz and I wanted to be just like him so I sat there for hours in his office learning how an accountant worked. I gave him numbers and he would type them up on his little machine that made the receipts, or vice versa. I felt so proud to be working with him and I wanted him to someday be proud of me. I believe my song achieves that goal which gives me more pride in it. After he died, perhaps a little over a year, this summer, I wrote a song for him. I entitled the song Singin to a Man in Heaven. The title actually came from the chorus I had written prior to making the actual song. The chorus starts Im singin / Singin to a man in Heaven. Then it says Oh how much I wish I could see him / Cause those dazzlin blue eyes / Always believe in such a thing as Heaven and God because when he was alive I felt so blessed to have such a wonderful granddad like him that I figured there had to be a god of some sort out there to set me up with such luck, such joy. After his death my faith faded out almost completely. I didnt understand why anyone would want to take him away from me especially so close to my birthday. Couldnt he at least live seven more days so he could tell me Happy Birthday one last time? In my song it says And Ill still shed a tear / Of all the missing years meaning Ill still cry every now and then for that extra time I yearned for but never got and the
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fact that he could have lived longer.

I still think of my Granddaddy all the time and hope each and every day to see him one last time. I dream of showing him the get well card I made him ironically the very day he died, March nineteenth, without the knowledge of his death. I may sing him the song I wrote him and show him this very paper right here. But, most importantly I would tell him I love him one last time. My Granddaddy was a wonderful man and an unforgettable one at that. Like I say in my song Your memory still stays / In my mind each day / And all the words youd say / Will never walk away. I will never forget my Granddaddy. He meant a lot to me. He made me believe. I am proud of him, of what he was. I am proud to have been called his granddaughter, and so I am proud of my song for him, Singin to a Man in Heaven. My song deserves to be respected and signed with the Con Safos sign because it is one of the few of me creations I take pride in.

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Santa Prohibited Christmas is a holiday I have always been fond of. I love the decorating of the trees, the brightly lit houses, the smell of the pinecones, the stories of Santa; but most of all I love the Christmas songs. They have always had a warm spot in my heart whether its Silent Night or Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer you will find me quietly singing along. My ultimate favorite has been Here Comes Santa Claus. For as long as I can remember however, my Christian religion teaches me that Santa is a sin, but through my experience I realize that may not be true. I learned early on that my beliefs conflicted with others beliefs even when within the same religion. Some of those beliefs, like Santa, were to be tinkered with along the way and lost in a land of childhood dreams. In third grade I was at a Christian school. Around Christmas time friends and I were singing Christmas songs coming up to class from recess excited to hear more of the story of the nativity from our teacher. All was fine and dandy until we began to sing Hear Comes Santa Claus. Our teacher hushed us right as we opened our mouths and told us we were not to sing; that it was unchristian and disrespectful, we were worshiping Santa . Of course I had to open my mouth and confront her. I said, but God made Santa. My words must have shocked her because there was no reply. She only looked at me with a glaring eye full of wonder and questioning. I questioned the current situation as a whole. It made no sense to me. Worshiping Santa? As a catholic I did not see the idea of Santa as a lord. Catholics believe that God is understood and acknowledged well enough that Santa does not create a diversion. Perhaps in some other Christian denominations it is felt that Santa may be overpowering God or replacing God. While they celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ there is still room for Santa. Santa is an American tradition that is accepted and well known throughout America. Santas story does not replace God or Jesus. It is a story of a saint, Saint Nicholas. People sing of him as Santa when Christmas time is near.

Singing a holiday song as opposed to singing a traditional Christmas hymn is no crime. It is an expression of words hummed to a hidden melody . Songs tell many stories and speak of a wonderland of hopes or tell a persons issues, problems in secret. People sing of their emotions and race and though it may be taken as effective to some it is a way of expressing yourself, setting yourself free. There are many religious songs all around the world. They are in multiple languages and I have never heard of a religious song being frowned upon. If a religious song is not frowned upon by the non-religious or different religions than the religious should not frowned upon non-religious songs because everyone should have the same right to express themselves.

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More than Enough I have grown-up in a, multiple religious environments. I had started intentionally seeking knowledge in my Catholic faith when I was only four. On Sunday, when we would miss mass, I would listen to it on the radio. Then, as I grew older, I began to go to catechism. I began to go to catechism. I just kept reaching out for more knowledge. I believe now that my religion becomes a more distant part of my culture with the more knowledge I gain. One of my earliest memories of my knowledge affecting my faith scored in third grade. My teacher, Mrs. Walling had told our class a couple of the stories her son had told her about the war. She explained to us how God was out there protecting her son so that he could come home soon. Right then and there I decided I wanted to be in the war. Why? I am not quite sure. I raised my hand high and when Mrs. Walling called on me I told her I am going to be a priest in the war so I can go and pray for all the soldurs. That was when I found out that only men can be priest. I did not understand. Women are teachers, priest are teachers. So why is it a woman cannot be a priest? I lost even more faith when I learned that the Catholics are strongly against gay marriage. I personally believe love is love on its own. The definition of love says nothing about gender, besides we have the right to love whoever we want. I have two beautiful aunties, Aunt Roxanne and Aunt Patty who have adopted a daughter, Rolina, and she turned out just fine, and boy crazy as ever. She is a good girl and dose as she is told most likely because she has two mothers so I dont know why God would forbid such a thing. By the end of my search for knowledge I was almost out of belief. In my seventh and eighth year of catechism I had to go to a church retreat. The second one I remember well. It was my fourteenth birthday and here I was at church from seven thirty in the morning till six thirty at night. I already thought this God guy had it in for me but I asked my friend Sara to come with me and my teacher approved of it understanding I was giving up my birthday for his retreat. We played religious games, told religious stories, watched religious movies, and wrote of our God
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and the whole time my friend Sara and I were only drifting further and further away from their beliefs. They were only killing any belief we had left.

Now dont get me wrong, I am not totally anti catholic, I just have too much knowledge on the subject to believe it entirely. I still believe a few of the stories I have heard. Its just that throughout the years I have gained more knowledge and beliefs that conflict with each other and I find that my religion becomes a more distant part of my culture with the more knowledge I gain.

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A Christian Influence 2.18 billon people around the world were Christians in the year 2010, that is about the third of the population. Christians teach many people of their beliefs. Some beliefs are the reason of many holidays. There are also spiritual beliefs such as angels and spirits. My culture, religion, has a lot of influence on the world at large. Christians have a lot of influence in the world at large especially in their teachings. From going to Christian and catholic, a denomination of Christian, schools I have learned that it is part of a Christians duty to inform or teach others of your belifes. You are to bring new members into the church so they too can believe in the all mighty God. From there the priest will do his job and try to convince them to have the same faith of all the others in the church. Many people seam to be a Christian of some sort and go on their Marry way to recruit other non-beleivers into the christen faith. Christians have a lot of in fluence at the world at large when it comes to holidays. In Catholic schools they just to have days off for the saints, these days were called saints days. This was like an extra holiday, multiple extra holidays. In public schools they began celibrating chisten holidays by giving the day off or sometimes having goodies passed around at the end of class. These were holidays such as Easter, the day Jesus was resurrected and Valentines Day, a day for Saint Valentine when Cupid supposedly shouts people with arrows ant they fall in love with the first person they see automatically. One of the most popular Christen holidays public schools get off is Christmas. Christmas is a holiday meant to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, however it is doughted by many Cristens that that is the actual day he was born. They think this because in the bible it was warm outside and that there were flowers and grass. The description in the actual bible does not fit the description of the story of the nativity. Another belief that Christianity was a big part of and has influenced the world at large a lot is spiritual beliefs. The chistens believe that Jesus was resurrected, rose from the dead. He
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came back body and soul, at the time this seamed impossible but when his disciples reached out to see if they could touch him they did feel his flesh. Jesus really was there, right in front of their eyes stood the living dead. Now-a-days there are horror stories of the living dead, men who rise from their graves to seek revenge. However there are also stories of angels, people that have passed on and come back to do good deeds and help others. These angels also came from the christen beliefs. There are many stories of people seeing angles and many christens will tell of their own when or if they do see an angel. These beliefs that Christens have has set many structures for stories. They have been the cause of many holidays. They have created an understanding of a knowledge that is passed from generation to generation. 2.18 billion people, about a third of the world population were christen in 2010 and if the christens keep passing on their knowledge of their faith the number of the believes should increase because the christen religion has a lot of influence on the world at large.

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