Session Six / Harvest Baptist Church / Pastor Alan Shelby

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Blended Family Functionality

Proverbs 24:3-4
Thesis: We insist on a strictly biblical model for familiesand not all families in the Bible were simple ______________ congurations. EIGHT PITFALLS TO BLENDED FAMILY FUNCTIONALITY 1. Issues of ____________________ management 2. Issues of managing ________ 3. Feelings of __________, failure and grief are compounded over time and get dragged into the early days of a blended family THE ______ STRATEGY A. Grieve the loss B. Grant forgiveness C. Get on with life 4. If the parent child-relationship ________________ the couple relationship, that naturally produces rivalry, jealousy and competition 5. Relationships with stepchildren develop ____________, especially in the rst two years 6. Adding the ____-___________ complicates an already complex situation 7. Blended families receive far less emotional, physical and spiritual support from the ____________, their families and from friends, than do normal nuclear couples 8. The probability of a step-family breakup hovers between 55 and 75 percent, and they are ____ percent more likely to fail than a rst marriage Point 1. Step-families dont have a family tree; they have a family _______ HANDLING-UP ON BLENDED FAMILY BUSINESS 1. All the challenges of blended family parenting provide compelling reasons to do everything in our power to slowly, prayerfully, and carefully pick the person we are going to parent ________

AN EXPERIENTIAL EXEGESIS OF THE PLIGHT OF STEP-PARENTING 1. Truth be told, one of the greatest parenting challenges that exists is trying to be a ________-parent 2. It is harder to manage a home when the ________________ arrived before the marriage did 3. When we talk about perfecting our parenting, we are talking about many different __________ of family congurations

I. FOUND YOUR FAMILY ON WISDOM, 3 I I . F I L L YO U R F A M I LY O N KNOWLEDGE, 4

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PERFECTINGPARENTING
Encouragement #1. Parenting a blended family is hard, but ____________ hardness, because it is supported by Gods providence. Element of Encouragement #2. In order to succeed (not just in a blended family but in any family) you have to activate Gods providence by ____________. Element of Encouragement #3. Prayer will enable you to be persistent by allowing you to gain ________________ Element of Encouragement #4. As you see what __________ did, you will be empowered with a radical vision, strategy, and sacricial love to do the same. Recommended Resources Family Shock: Keeping Families Strong in the Midst of Earthshaking Change, by Gary R. Collins. Tyndale House: 1995. Communication Skills for Parents http:// parentingteens.about.com/cs/disciplin1/a/ comskills.htm Five Needs Your Child Must Have Met at Home, by Ron Hutchcraft. Zondervan: 1995. To Train Up a Child, by Michael and Debi Pearl. No Greater Joy, 1995. http:// www.nogreaterjoy.org/ The Five Musts of Intentional Listening, by Jan Pedersen. http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/ Pedersen2.html Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens, by Paul David Tripp. P & R Publishing, 2001. Shepherding a Childs Heart, by Tedd Tripp, Shepherd Press, 1998. Hints on Child Training, by H. Clay Trumbull. Great Expectations Book Co.: 1993. *Note: recommending a resource does not constitute Alans endorsement of everything in the book. Read with discretion, and balance any authors advice against what you are learning in our studies. HANDLING-UP ON BLENDED FAMILY BUSINESS 2. If you are married to the biological mother or father of some or all of your kids, use Bible principles to make that marriage ________ 3. If you are now blended in your family, view it ____________________________, and accept the fact that you are charged by God with a responsibility to perfect your parenting biblically Point 2. One of the most important qualities you can have as a parent in a blended family is ______________
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SEVEN STRATEGIES FOR SUCCESS 1. Advance as a ________ 2. Avoid step-parent ______________ 3. Admit the truth about issues of __________________ 4. As your kids age you have to out-__________ them 5. Acknowledge that relationship ________________ setting rules 6. ___________________ everything until further notice 7. Appeal to a higher __________________

Be not dismayed whateer betide, God will take care of you; Beneath His wings of love abide, God will take care of you. Through days of toil when heart doth fail, God will take care of you; When dangers erce your path assail, God will take care of you. All you may need He will provide, God will take care of you; Nothing you ask will be denied, God will take care of you. No matter what may be the test, God will take care of you; Lean, weary one, upon His breast, God will take care of you. God will take care of you, through every day, over all the way; He will take care of you, God will take care of you. Civilla D. Martin, 1904

Point 3. You can come to a negotiated solution by walking to the center from the ________________. Point 4. If you go out of control because your child or your spouse will not do what you want them to, then you have lost control of the one thing you were to maintain control over ___________ their disobedience.