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January 5-18

Dogsled Across Mongolia

Get a Life!
We steal the secrets of the citys life coaches
1| Yuksek | New Bars | New Years Resolutions | Ice Wines | African Footprint
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 CoverStory

[Move the Goal Posts]

Morry Morgan, Co-founder, ClarkMorgan Corporate Training

Secret 1

Theres no hiding from life coach Je Tan. Hes heard every excuse in the book when it comes to procrastinating. Happily, he has a few secrets to overcoming the natural urge to put things o. What Ive experienced is that a lot of people who want to switch their lives tend to set a goal that is just huge. And huge goals are OK, but then they get the fear and procrastinate, because its just too big! And then the moon and sun are not aligned, and Venus and Jupiter are out of sync. Theyre looking for the perfect moment, maybe waiting for the economy to turn. Well, its turned, but not the way

we wanted it to. W hen we wait for t he right time to take action, we never get started on making change. Now, heres the secret: make it smaller! By setting smaller, more quickly achievable goals, your mind relaxes and change is less of a big deal. So in the end, smaller steps are actually more likely to lead to accomplishing a larger goal. The other obstacle is putting too long a time frame on your goal, Jeff says. And then things dont change. One difference between a real goal and a distant dream is the time frame you put on it.

Secret 2
[ Date Yourself ]
Ma king con nect ions in Shanghai is ridiculously easy. So easy that it seems rather rude to stay home when exc it i n g ne w acqu a i nt a nces are dropping into your lap on a daily basis. Coach Nina Juraschek has seen ample evidence that the most vital connection of all gets neglected in the dizzy whirl of life in Sha nghai: your connection with yourself. Shanghai is one of the most exciting cities in t he world, filled with possibility, opportunity and endless new ideas. This is certainly not a bad thing, but nding balance and keeping it real can become an issue here, she tells us. P e o ple s t a r t t o s u ffer whe n t hey dont m a ke r e a l t i me for t he m s e lve s . That means giving yourself a breather and collecting your t hou g ht s . It m i g ht me a n , shocking as it sounds, turning down an invitation to dinner, lunch or coffee. But marking out an amount of time to simply be alone and to reflect a bit is one way to stay in touch with who you arebecause your own well-being should be your priority. Not a ll of Sha ngha i is a hedonist ic whirlwi nd , and Juraschek recommends non-religious communities like Spiritualsha nghai.com for those looking for a little meaning or reflection amid the everyday buzz.

We steal the secrets of Shanghai's life coaches

By Jill Petzinger

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Life coaches are experts in you, your life and the inner workings of your brain. But theyre also expensive. Like 2,000 an hour expensive. So weve talked to some of Shanghais best coaches and stolen their secrets. Read on to discover how you can make your life better in 2012 and activate whatever powershuman, superhuman or otherwiselie within you.

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 CoverStory

Life Time
Local coaches who can change your life
Jeff Tan
REV Training and Coaching Tan, our cover model, is a former Lieutenant-Colonel in the Singaporean Air Force, a certified hypnotherapist and a life and entrepreneur coach. He reguarly runs neuro-lingustic programming and speed reading workshops.
Find it: www.revtc.com

Secret 3
Strip! The Answers in the Onion

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know why you want to make a change, then your limiting beliefs and blockages will begin to fall away. There is no perfect moment to begin to peel your personal onion so what are you waiting for?

[ Its All About Rhythm]

Did you know that the majority of heart attacks happen on Mond ay a nd T uesd ay mornings? According to resilience training specialist Thomas Tang, one of the key reasons for this is the disruption to the body that occurs over the weekend and the subsequent return to weekday rhythms again. Tang says one of the most important secrets of good health, energy, confidence and creativity lies in respecting your 24-hour circadian rhythm, or body clock. Its really important to go to sleep and get up at the same time every day. Even on weekends, when you might feel you deserve a lay-in, you shou ld get up a nd start your day at the same time as during the week. This strengthens t he body a nd mind , improves alertness and protects from disease.

Secret 5

Morry Morgan
ClarkMorgan Corporate Training

Morgan, author of Selling Big to China, currently services 80 percent of the Fortune 500 companies based in China.
Find it: www.clarkmorgan.com

Olivia Xiao

The new year is synonymous with fresh beginnings and change. But before you start thinking about launching a brand new you, its important do the groundwork, says Je Tan. You are less likely to succeed if you dont examine why youre setting yourself new targets or goals in the first place. And that means you need to strip o the onion-like layers of your identity until you get to a core of self-awareness, says Tan. Get a pen and paper and do a New Years invento-

ry on yourself. Try to strip the should out of what you t h i n k you want to do and you will start to see your core values emerge. Once the unconscious mind begins to be activated, then values, beliefs, purpose and identity come to the fore. To know what these are puts people in a stronger position to align who they really are with the goals they set. W hat you a re mi ning for is why you want to change, not what. Once you

During the day, try to be aware of your bodys ultradian rhythm by taking a break every 90-120 minutes to walk away from your desk, maybe get a glass of water or just tune into your breathing and relax. By taking a definite break from the task at hand, you can maximize your energy and eciency. Its not always easy to take breaks during the working day, but by being aware of our bodys natural rhythms, we can recognize and be prepare for dips in energy and take a break instead of reaching for the chocolate or coee.

REV Training and Coaching Xiao, a native Chinese speaker, is a financial analystturned-corporate trainer specializing in personal development. She's also currently the president of the Lighthouse Shanghai Toastmasters Club.
Find it: www.revtc.com

SHHHH!

Thomas Tang
The Resilience Institute Tang is an expert in body awareness, optimizing internal dialogue, and handling emotions and stress in crucial events. Hes also the first certified facilitator of the Resilience methodology in China.
Find it: thomas.tang@resiliencei.com

Secret 4
Say It Loud: The Stage is Yours

Raf Adams
Raf Adams & Company Raf holds a series of down-to-earth, spirit-based workshops called The Life Journey that have been featured as a TEDx talk. Hes also written a book called The Suited Monk based on his system, the GAP Model.
Find it: www.rafadamscompany.com

Clubs dedicated to the art of pu bl ic s p e a k i n g h ave b e e n around for years. There is o en a perception t hat t hey exist purely for people who have to give speeches and presentations in their jobs. Not so, says Olivia Xiao, a coach at REV. Learning the art of public address can change your life and liberate you in ways you never considered before. Why would anyone would terrify themselves by getting up and speaking in front of a crowd of people if they can avoid it? As it happens, taking to the podium and giving a speech can not only bring about a huge transformation in your self-confidence but

also fulfill dormant dreams of recognition, achievement and even adventure. Xiao says. The Toastmasters club in Shanghai chooses a different topic or theme each week, and people from all walks of life can give a short talk and have their presentation skills evaluated in a constructive way. People find they really thrive and grow in such an environment, and it impacts the rest of their lives. Stepping out of your comfort zone repeatedly is a workout for your condence muscle. Soon it becomes second nature, and I cant loses its power. So this year, why not say something loud?
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 CoverStory

Secret 7

A Crash Course in Life

Before I met Jeff, I had no idea what life coaching was all about. I had never done anything like it before and was a bit hesitant about the whole ideaafter all, setting goals and talking about feelings is not really my cup of tea. I came to Shanghai on a whim with a vague plan to teach English for a year and learn a bit of Chinese on the side. Four months into my new adventurous life, I realized I was in a strange country with no job and hadnt made much headway. It was worth a shot. I instantly felt comfortable with Jeff and found his demeanor to be very calm and encouraging, but our first session was unexpectely emotional. He asked me some serious questions that I had honestly never really thought about before, like, If I had the secret steps to success and anything I touched would come true, what would I be? What would I do? Who would I be? Like many, I was a tad concerned about discussing big picture stuff that

Willpower Is Overrated

Can you change your life in just one week? We sent Melissa Black to life coach Je Tan to nd out.
package and sell 200 Christmas cookies before the end of the week. At first, the idea of selling my food to the public was extremely daunting. Luckily for me, baking is very therapeutic and let me tell you, in that week I underwent much therapy in more ways than one! We put a strategy in place, I planned ahead and set myself daily targets and am pleased to say that I sold all 200 Christmas cookies through word-of-mouth, emails, networking and a last-minute stall that came available at the Dada night market. Life coaching was a great experience, but also a necessary one to show me that it really is within me to take action and make things happen in my life. Jeff gave me some much-needed clarity over both my short and long-term goals, and since then I've fully bought into Jeff's mantra: anything is possible! Melissa Black

Secret 6

Prepare for Second

You might want to think twice before playing poker with Morry Morgan, an expert in neurolinguistic programming, the cofounder and marketing director at C la rk Morg a n Cor por ate Training and author of Selling Big to China . But you certainly want him on your side in a negotiation. Theres often a volatile feeling around t he star t of the year in China as contract renegotiations are coming up. Whether youre renewing an employment contract or a rental contract, negotiation can be a stressful experience. Regardless of whether or not you have anything to fear, you should have a BATNA, says Morgan. BATNA stands for Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement, which essentially means a second choice. No matter what u npleasant surprises you might encounter in a negotiation, Morgan says you can take them

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in stride if youve lined up your BATNAs. You need to be thinking: Whats my BATNA? The more you have, the more leverage you have. Once you have a BATNA you immediately start to feel more confident and that is projected in your mannerisms. Its an unconscious thing, but other people will feel it. So when your manager asks you in for The Talk, youre relaxed and have a big smile on your face! But BATNA is only as relevant as the other person thinks it is. Its all about perceived position, or perceived value. In that sense BATNA can also be excellent as a poker-type bluff. You may not have a backup plan, but its how you create the impression that you do. BATNA is in the eye of your opponent. Morgan points out that BATNA is not lying. Rather, its about unsettling your opponent without being confrontational. Youre simply letting him make an assumptionin the end its all part of the game.

Thomas Tang knows a secret about willpower: its stressful and you can do without it by harnessing the power of ritual instead. Do you need willpower t o br u s h you r t e e t h e ve r y morning? Of course not! All the things that seem to require lots of willpower in life, like getting up in the morning to exercise, maintaining a clear distinction between work and family life or even just eating a healthy breakfast every day can become second nature by building them into rituals. Tang says it takes just six weeks for physical ritual to become a good habit, and eight weeks to set up a mental or

emotional ritual. Modern life is all about compromise, which means its even more important to put rituals in place and protect them. Its in the interest of your own well-being. The more you rely on ritual, the less you rely on willpower, and youll find you have more energy, confidence and resilience to deal with everything every day. Tang also wants to make clear that its not necessary to live like a monk. The daily rituals you set may occasionally have to be abandoned, but the secret is to be aware of when the routines been broken and come back to it as soon as possible.

I hadnt spent time thinking through on my own, but despite my own hesitance, it really was a helpful and healthy exercise. Over the course of the next week, Jeff threw in a few more active exercises, like Brain Gym routines (pictured), that got my juices flowing. It all led to earnest discussions about

setting reachable goals, taking action and having a positive can-do attitude. After all, I live in Shanghai, one of the most exciting cities in the world! We quickly identified that one of my real passions in life was baking, so we talked through all the practical elements of setting up my own baking business. Then he set me up with a challenge: to bake, ice,

g the absolute best year of your life? Let us know at

Been to a life coach before? Got other tips on how others can make 2012

www.cityweekend.com.cn/lifecoaches
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