Parshas Ekev The Importance of a Good Chevra In this week's parsha the Torah writes, u'vo sidbak1, and

to Hashem shall you cleave. This is a mitzvah d'Oraisa to be davek b'Hashem. Chazal2 explain this mitzvah as follows, Efshar lomar kein? Is it possible to say that you can connect and cleave unto Hashem? But Hashem is a consuming fire. Rather, the posuk means hidavek b'talmidim u'v'chachamim, cleave to the students and the sages, and then, maaleh ani alecha k'ilu hidavka bo , and I will consider it on your behalf as if you cleaved unto Hashem. This is the definition of the mitzvah. The mitzvah d'Oraisa is to connect with talmidei chachamim. For example, it is good to eat and drink with talmidei chachamim, it is good to do business with talmidei chachamim, in order to learn from their actions. The Chofetz Chaim quotes this mitzvah in his introduction to the Sefer Chofetz Chaim. There, he has the famous list of thirty-one mitzvos and aveiros that a habitual loshon hora speaker will violate; one of them is this mitzvah3. The Chofetz Chaim writes that if a person joins with a group of loshon hora speakers then he is in violation of this mitzvah. The idea is that the point of the mitzvah is that we should choose a positive, strong chevra, which will have a positive influence on us. The best example is to have a chevra of talmidei chachamim. But, the Chofetz Chaim is saying, that more broadly, one should choose a good chevra. And if one purposely chooses a negative chevra, a chevra which will influence him away from avodas Hashem, that itself violates this mitzvah d'Oraisa. It is a mitzvah d'Oraisa to have a good chevra. Wow! There is a parallel lav, prohibition, to not join a negative chevra.4 The Chofetz Chaim in a footnote provides an example of this mitzvah, which can be commonplace. A person, lets say, is going to a wedding, and he has a choice of where to sit- there are two tables available with different groups of people. The person knows that one group contains people who often speak loshon hora and negative things, and that the other group does not. You have to choose where to sit. The
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Devarim 10,20. This is quoted in Rashi later on (11,2) from the Sifri, and it is also found in the Gemara K'suvos daf 111. Mitzvah 6 The Chofetz Chaim quotes this in lav 11 in the introduction as well.

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Chofetz Chaim says when you are choosing where to sit at a wedding, you have this mitzvah d'Oraisa facing you; choose to sit with the stronger chevra. A person walks into a lunchroom and he has a choice of where to sit. If he chooses to sit within a group where he knows there is a likelihood of speaking loshon hora and other divrei aveira, then that choice itself violates this mitzvah d'Oraisa. This is an important lesson for all of us. We affect our chevra and our chevra affects us. We have to learn from this mitzvah of u'vo sidbak to choose and be a part of a strong chevra. Many of you are back from a year in Israel and have re-entered the Western World. This is one of the most crucial elements to staying strong- having a strong chevra. One challenge of returning back to the Western World is that when you are in Israel you have the chevra all together, but now everyone goes her own way. You might not see your chevra all the time. I would like to make the following suggestion, originally mentioned to me by my wife- a shalosh seudos club. Organize a group of friends and get together at different homes every week for shalosh seudos. Someone can give a d'var Torah and you can sing together. It is a wonderful way to give an added spiritual kick to your shabbos, and it is also a chance to spend time with your chevra. Several years ago some students suggested to me to also mention the idea of a melava malka club, and that broadens the range of attendees. A shalosh seudos club between friends from Hillcrest and Kew Garden Hills is a little difficult, but a melava malka club is only a short ride away.5 We influence our chevra, and our chevra influences us. There is a mitzvah dOraisa to have a good chevra. Good Shabbos, B. Ginsburg

I began mentioning this idea in the end of the year sicha around ten years ago. Since then, I have received a lot of positive feedback. Many alumni do this in their neighborhoods.