Aodan Halliagn

July 25th 2012

Red Riding Hood (778 words)

Sergeant Gleeson, who had just returned from the murderers house, told me to treat the sicko like a lady; but I was tired of being dicked around. I wasnt sure if the craziness was real or just an act, though. He smelled of that musty perfume an ex of mine used to wear and kept smiling and batting his fake eyelashes at me. How anyone could find that wig and those broad, freckled shoulders attractive, Ill never know. There are some sickos out there, I guess. Oh detective what big ears youve got! he said. Dave, or whatever you wanna be called, fill us in with the story before I break that ugly nose off your face, I said. Gleeson threw me a look. Dave claimed that he had left home with some tools and a basket of red peppers for his granny. Red peppers for your fuckin grandmother? I said before remembering my promise to Gleeson. Sorry Davy boy, I mean Mary, please go ahead. He rambled on for ages and even though we were using the tapes, Gleeson had someone logging it all down. Gleeson asked me to read out the statement after Dave had finished. Okay It was dark and the rain was pouring down so I had to bring my red coat and torch. My feet sank into the muck as I crossed the field before the woods. An owls cry startled me so I slipped on entering the forest I had to add something: You should have worn mens shoes. Nolan, will you stick to the bloody statement? Gleeson said. Sorry sergeant. Where was I? Oh yeah Picking myself up, I noticed that the path was submerged. Nevertheless, I proceeded and the flame from the flashlight bounced on the water like an orange skimming waves. The occasional bat whizzed by and then I heard a cry for help. Leaving the path, I squeezed in between some trees before catching sight of an injured wolf. I did it again. I asked how he could have seen a wolf when there hasnt been one in Ireland for around 200 years. Of course, Dave was having none of that and Sergeant Gleeson was going buckape, so I had to continue. I cant remember all the bullshit that was written, but Dave said that the wolf had

Aodan Halliagn

July 25th 2012

tricked him into revealing that he was heading to his grandmothers cottage. Then his talking wolf ran away. I wanted to do the same. I remember the end of the statement word for word, though. The wolf had snuck into my grannys house and eaten her. I screamed for help and a woodcutter came to my rescue with a chainsaw. He sliced open the wolf, but it was too late granny had been chopped to pieces. Is that it, Nolan? Gleeson asked. Yes, sergeant, I said. Okay, Mary. Are you happy with that? Gleeson said. Dave nodded his head. Would you please sign your name to that sheet when youre ready so? Nolan, give her the statement. I handed Dave the sheet and he signed it straight away. I was free to do as I pleased now. Why would you visit your grandmothers house when she died around 20 years ago? I asked. He just laughed at that question. Telling us about talking fuckin wolves, invisible woodcutters using chainsaws late at night, and gutting a wolf to find your grandmother swallowed up inside. What kind of deranged sicko are ya? Oh detective what a big nose youve got! he said. Gleeson grabbed my arm just as I was about to whack the freak. Tell us what you saw when you got there Nolan, he said. Well, David, AKA Mary the psycho cross dresser here, had obviously murdered one man in the woods before heading into the house and doing the same shit to the other man. He dressed him up in one of his grandmothers nightgowns and sliced open his stomach with a fuckin chainsaw. Didnt ya you fuckin twisted fuck? I said. He just stared at me. When we arrived, he had his arm inside his stomach. Fucking hell. I think I know why now, though. Gleeson said. Ha? I replied. Got an ID on the two victims a while ago they are from the same family. The Woulfe brothers had just moved into her deceased grandmothers house. We found pictures of them all over Marys house too. The bitch thinks shes in the fucking story or something.

Aodan Halliagn

July 25th 2012

Oh detective what lovely eyes youve got! Dave said.