The Invention of the Rainbow By Ricky Diaz

SCENE 1: BROTHERS Lights fade up from black. NIGHT and DAY sit back to back at center stage. DAY faces the audience. NIGHT faces away from the audience. NIGHT Is it my turn yet? DAY No. Its still my turn. NIGHT Thats not fair! Mom said that you have to left me have a turn! DAY Well, Moms not here right now is she? NIGHT You promised I would get Earth next! DAY You will, but Im not done with it yet! NIGHT Day! Youve had Earth for... NIGHT checks his watch. 350,000 years! I shouldve gotten my turn 50,000 years ago! Let me have a turn! DAY Im not finished yet! NIGHT stands up and spins DAY around and takes his spot. Hey! NIGHT There... thats much better. Its about time Earth had night. DAY Please! Everybody hates you! Youre dark, scary, and cold. Unlike like me, Day. Im light, happy, life-giving, and--

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NIGHT Full of hot air. DAY Whatever Night! Everyone knows Im the brightest. NIGHT You also have the hottest temper. DAY I do not! NIGHT Damn! We dont need another one of your "Big Bangs". I told Mom you needed anger management, but she insists that its just a phase youve been going through... since the beginning of time! DAY Mom never said that! NIGHT Yuh huh! Shes always said youre a hot head. DAY What!? NIGHT Mmhmm... Thats what she says alright. Thats why Im her favorite. DAY Oh yeah? Well at least Im funny. Dad told me that you tell bad jokes. NIGHT He did not! Dad loves my jokes. He laughs at them all the time. DAY Only because he wants to keep you from crying like the baby you are. NIGHT (Pouting) Im not a baby.

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DAY Are too! Dad told me your jokes are stupid. NIGHT Whatever Day, Im hilarious. Here Ill prove it to you. [Beat.] Why didnt the skeleton cross the road? [Beat.] Because he didnt have the guts! Classic comedy drums play after the punchline. DAY stays silent. Theres a brief pause. NIGHT becomes dejected. DAY Whats a road? NIGHT I dont know... They sit and ponder what a "road" could be. A short moment of silence passes. DAY I told you that you arent funny. NIGHT Shut up Day! More silence passes. DAY Is it my turn yet? NIGHT No! I just got here! DAY Everythings going to die if they dont get their sunshine. NIGHT I think theyve had enough sunshine over the past 350,000 years! DAY Theres no such thing as too much sunshine. NIGHT Bullshit! You pretty much burnt everything to a crisp! Luckily Night swooped in and saved the day.

4. NIGHT Now everyone call cool off for a bit, because Im the cool one. DAY Youre also the ugly one. NIGHT Am not! DAY Are so! Mom and Dad gave you the moon? [Beat.] Think about it for a second! NIGHT pauses to think about DAYs comment. NIGHT Awwwwww man... Thats so not funny. NIGHT begins crying. Thunder rumbles. Rain can be heard. Lights dim. DAY Oh shit! Stop that! Stop crying right now! NIGHT (Crying) I. Dont. Want. To. DAY Seriously, stop it right now! Do you remember what happened last time? NIGHT (Crying) Yeah... DAY Earth doesnt need another forty nights of rain. That flood nearly killed everything! Youre lucky Noah was smart enough to make that arc. He saved the whole planet. NIGHT stops crying, but is still sniffling. NIGHT Not the whole planet. He forgot about the unicorns. NIGHT begins to cry again.

5. Awwwww... I loved the unicorns! NIGHT starts bawling loudly. DAY For the love of hydrogen! Just knock it off! Youre being ridiculous! Youre going to drown the fish if you dont stop soon! NIGHT (Crying) Awwwwww.... I love the fish! DAY You cant drown fish moron! That was a joke. NIGHT (Crying) Youre so much funnier than me! I SUCK! DAY I cant take this anymore! DAY stands up and pushes NIGHT over and takes his spot. Lights brighten. Storm noises stop. NIGHT Hey! What the heck do you think youre doing! DAY Trying to save every organism on Earth. NIGHT Thats not fair! NIGHT stands up and pushes DAY over and takes his spot. DAY Stop pushing me Night! DAY stands up and pushes NIGHT. NIGHT Ill do whatever I want, Day! NIGHT pushes DAY again. Theres a brief pause as the two brothers stare at each other angrily. They start fighting and wresting around.

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DAY I hate you! NIGHT I hate you more! Theres more struggling between the brothers as they fight each other for their turn with Earth. A loud lightening strike freezes DAY and NIGHT. DAY Oh shit! You pissed off Mom! NIGHT Nuh uh! Youre the one who was being mean. Mom! He wasnt letting me have a turn! DAY Thats not true Mom! I let him have his turn, but he started acting like a baby. I was just being responsible like you told me to. NIGHT I was not! Youre such a liar! DAY Im not a liar![Beat.] Mom, will you tell Night that hes a cry baby and he shouldnt ever get a turn to play with Earth? NIGHT Mom, when are you going to tell Day hes adopted? DAY Mom, can you please... wait, what? Another loud lightening strike silences DAY and NIGHT. TOGETHER Yes mother dear. DAY and NIGHT sit down again with DAY facing the audience and NIGHT facing upstage. DAY and NIGHT are pouting angrily. The lights are bright again. Theres a long pause of silence. DAY Hey, Night?

7. NIGHT What? DAY Im sorry about not letting you have a turn... and for calling you a baby. NIGHT Thanks... and Im sorry for calling you a hot-head... and peeing in your shoes. DAY What?! NIGHT Kidding. DAY and NIGHT look at each other. DAY begins laughing. See! See! Im funny! I told you! DAY No, youre not funny. That was funny, but youre not funny. NIGHT But I said that, so doesnt that make me funny? DAY No. NIGHT Oh come on Day! You know you think Im funny. DAY Maybe, you might be. I dont know. I need to hear one more joke. This joke will decide if youre funny for all eternity. If I laugh, Ill admit that youre funny. If I dont, you cant tell anymore jokes... ever. NIGHT Okay... I got one! DAY Alright lets hear it! It better be a good one.

8. NIGHT You ready? DAY Yeah, go for it. NIGHT Whats red and smells like blue paint? DAY thinks about it for a while. DAY I dont know. NIGHT Red paint! Theres a short pause. DAY lets out a quiet snicker. Ha! See! I got you! DAY No you didnt! NIGHT Did too! You laughed! I got you! DAY No! [Beat.] Damn! NIGHT Yes! DAY Fine, Ill say it... (Mumbling) I. Think youre. Funny. NIGHT What was that? I couldnt hear you. DAY (Whispering) I think youre funny. NIGHT Huh? One more time. I have this inner ear thing. DAY (Screaming) I think youre funny!

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NIGHT Ooooooooh.... Well why didnt you say so in the first place? DAY Youre an idiot. NIGHT Maybe so, but at least Im a funny idiot. DAY Whatever floats your arc Night. Theres a brief pause. DAY begins to smile. Night. Hey Night! Check this out! NIGHT turns around, but stays sitting in his place. NIGHT Wow! What is that? DAY I dont know, but its beautiful. Hey come get a closer look. NIGHT stands up and sits back down right next to DAY. NIGHT Thats amazing! Theres so many colors. DAY Did we make that? NIGHT I think so, but how? They think about the possible causes of this new phenomenon in front of them. Maybe its the rain! DAY Youve made it rain a hundred times and this has never happened before. Wait! Its because its never rained while I was out before! NIGHT The combination of sunlight and rain must have created this

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NIGHT beautiful multi-colored arch in the sky. What should we call it. DAY How about the Gateway Arch?! Theres a brief pause. NIGHT No. Thats the stupidest name Ive ever heard.[Beat.] And everyone says youre the bright one. DAY Well then you come up with something better moon boy! NIGHT Why dont we call it a rain-bow? DAY A rainbow? A rainbow... I like it! Thats an awesome name! NIGHT I know right? DAY And what makes it even better is that we made it together. NIGHT Yeah, together. I like the sound of that. [Beat.] I love you bro. DAY I love you too man. DAY and NIGHT hug for a brief moment. I call dibs on playing with the rainbow first! NIGHT Come on, thats not even fair! We should share it! DAY We will share it, but Im going first.

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NIGHT You suck! DAY Tell it to one of your twinkling stars you pansy. DAY and NIGHT stare angrily at each other. Lights fade to black. END OF PLAY