The Giger Chronicles

Here wealthy Marinites live pretending not to be so wealthy. Savvy, mate?

A play by

Pamela Olson
The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 1 of 44

Copyright 2001 - 2012 by Pamela Olson All rights reserved. All wrongs revenged. Its a story. Semblance to anyone is not intended --nor should be inferred. Savvy, mate?
Doc Severinsen's There Is A Girl http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjG0S6dc-sY

A graduate of College of Marin then Sonoma State University, in the middle of The American Wine Country, California USA, Planet Earth, Milky Way, Pamela Olson is A Marin County Volunteer of the Year, founding board member North Bay Multimedia Association, Home Designer, Raconteur, Gardener, Time Traveler, Swimmer, Veteran, Friend, Real Estate Authority, Ballroom Dancer, Mama, Color Junkie, Bon vivant, Professor, Author, Wife, and Landlord Extraordinaire aka opinionated.

May all your storms be weathered, and all that is good get better. The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 2 of 44

Cast
STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside

J. K. OLSON as played by Burt Ward

JIM as played by Dwight Yoakam

MICHAEL B. SAMUELS / TWEEDLEDEE as played by Stanley Tucci

Director
Director JAMES DUNN

Costume Designer
Costume Designer MIA BAXTER

The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid

a play by Pamela Olson
Page 3 of 44

Guest Stars
Katie Holmes as Marin County California Deputy District Attorney DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT Keith Sims as DEFENDANT James Dunn as JUDGE TERRENCE R. BOREN

Cameo
Herb Alpert as himself Patty Griffin as herself Frank Sinatra Cover as Frank Sinatra Yanni as himself Chuck Mangione as himself Kiku Collins as herself Paula Simpson as herself: @paulasimpson13 Bold progressive with a bite. NO ONE ever stole her lunch money. Santa Barbara County, Westlake Village, and Marin Born, bred and breathes CA! #UnitedBlue Cali baby! http://www.facebook.com/PaulaSimpson13?ref=profile The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 4 of 44

Tunes
The Giger Chronicles Theme Song Herb Alpert Behind the Rain @ http://www.myspace.com/herbalpert/music/songs/behind-the-rain-album-version285816 Patty Griffin, Change @ http://www.myspace.com/pattygriffin/music/songs/changealbum-version-28652374 Henry Mancini & Doc Severinsen Can't Get Started Without You @ http://www.myspace.com/556125500/music/songs/henry-mancini-doc-severinsen-can-tget-started-28211795 Frank Sinatra All or Nothing At All @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfeBAo-08c0 Yanni The Rain Must Fall @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOMjhZ8mBHg Chuck Mangione Legend of the One-Eyed Sailor @ http://www.myspace.com/charlesfmangione/music/songs/legend-of-the-one-eyed-sailor30928 Herb Alpert Behind the Rain @ http://www.myspace.com/herbalpert/music/songs/behind-the-rain-album-version-285816 Kiku Collins Mr. Barista @ http://www.myspace.com/kikucollins/music/songs/mrbarista-26844885 Herb Alpert Aranjuez @ http://www.myspace.com/herbalpert/music/songs/aranjuezmon-amour-album-version-285818

The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid

a play by Pamela Olson
Page 5 of 44

Character Descriptions
Note: Actors chosen here are for among other reasons, their age, height, voice, and body type, as each is specific-critical to each characters portrayal. J. K. OLSON: Navy veteran PO3, nine years older than his wife ALICE, messy, short, charismatic, fat, eyes speculative, Masters degree in Music, retired Band Director Redwood High School, Larkspur. Charming, insecure, talented, immature, insincere, moody, kinky, self-centered, coarse, sensuous, sarcastic, obsessed with controlling others, feels of solid land and rolling sea, cycle of desire and tyranny, passive aggressive, tense, imaginative, solemn, raffish, impulsive, envious of privilege and wealth, a merry-go-round always on the verge of settling down, elitist, self-dramatizing selfish, tendency to look like a sullen child who had been thwarted, oscillates rapidly through all kinds of moods, shirks his responsibility to a defiant son and wife. Knows temptation and corruption well and dreams sought then, and the blunders committed in their pursuit, treacherous, arrogant, subdued warmth, junk food junkie, high strung, manic depressive, conflicted, mercurial, capricious, cynic, cross dresser, leather vinyl rubber bondage mirror fetishes, in need of a haircut, ballroom dance instructor, sailor, in scruffy loafers, sardonic, wears a wrinkled striped button down collar shirt, had his sleeves rolled up his forearms, in rumpled, dark, pleated and cuffed trousers too big for him, and a hip length black leather aviator jacket, also too large. Anti-children racist anti-Semitic anti-gay homophobic J. K. OLSON lives at equally antichildren racist anti-Semitic anti-gay homophobic senior-only trailer park Marin Valley Mobile Country Club Marin Valley Mobile Country Club in Novato, CaliforniaNovato, California since he was 55 when he abandoned his then 4 1/2 month pregnant 45 year old wife Alice after stealing $3 million. He is on the Board of Directors of the Marin Valley Mobile Country Club as the Treasurer. Drives a restored 1985 Corvette he keeps up himself-- it shows. Is a top-of-the-game Blog Opera player. San Francisco sex clubs regular. Does not play well with others. Started out as a cool Reg Blank ended up a Conspicuous Consumption Yuppie. Drinks Gundlach BundschuGundlach Bundschu Cabernet Franc or diet Pepsi. Teaches ballroom dance at the Novato Recreation Department. Conspicuous consumption is extravagant and ostentatious expenditure. Conspicuous consumption is meant not to satisfy any physical need, but rather to gratify the The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 6 of 44

psychological craving for status or the favorable opinion of others. The term was first used by the US sociologist and economist Thorstein Bunde Veblen (1857-1929) in his 1899 book 'The Theory Of The Leisure Class. A Yuppie is a Hippie who sold out and said 'yup' to 'the man'.

STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO: San Rafael, Marin County, California lawyer with uncomfortable for him ghoul, spanking, mirror sex, abuser, shop lifter, and cop erotica fetishes played out in role-playing games he pays others to do with him but later hates himself over doing it. Insecure, usually impotent. Loves cocaine, high-heeled cowboy boots, trashy looking women and to abuse beautiful women. Envious of privilege and wealth. Is a top-of-the-game Blog Opera player. Underendowed, plays dominate but is passive sexually. Bully and dork. Believes what's inside him and people doesn't matter, only apperances matter. Peeping Tom, self-indulgent and notorious for Sewer Service, cheater, liar, staff abuser so high turn-over, and just makes-up evidence as he sleazes along. San Francsico sex clubs regular. Voyeur. Lives in his office at 1537 4th Street San Rafael, CA 94901-2737. Drives a red Range Rover Sport with too much make up, as he thinks he 'needs' a big vehicle to handle the treacherous four-block journey to and from Starbucks at 1100 Fourth Street each morning. Rich mama paid for this uncool as it's a two and a half ton truck with a centre of gravity somewhere dangerously in the stratosphere. Does not play well with others. Conspicuous Consumptionist Yuppie. Has undisclosed cameras all over his office and home. Enjoys people's blunders and kicking them when they're down. Has the manner of an abuser who knows what he wants and cannot be stopped. Regularly contracts out work to JIM. Drinks a triple Gordon's gin Dirty Martini with a couple Piquillo Pepper Stuffed Manzanilla Olives by La Tienda. Sewer Service refers to the process-server who instead of making proper delivery, tosses the legal papers down the nearest sewer and does not attempt delivery so service was not accomplished even though the servers later perjure themselves in a courtfiled affidavit by swearing they did make delivery. JIM: Has that 'oh so self-important Marin attitude 'cause he's got a Marin address. Is a charisma and charm top-of-the-game Blog Opera player. Jim is a dark Marinite, a creature of the physical, seeks lots of sex. Lives at The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 7 of 44

equally anti-children racist anti-Semitic anti-gay homophobic White Supremacist senioronly trailer park Marin Valley Mobile Country Club in Novato, California since he was 55. Holds martial arts Black Belt. More than competent with weapons. Always armed personally with nine-round Glock 27 in a shoulder holster, five-round Smith & Wesson snub nose .38 revolver strapped to his calf, CRKT Ultima With Black Blade strapped to his other calf, Raider I Boot Knife, mace, rubber bullets, blank bullets. Abused as a child. Happily drafted by Army out of high school, later General Discharge for killings without orders. Well-endowed, several times divorced. Abusive, stalker, Peeping Tom, drinker, smoker, self-indulgent, White Supremacist, likes to wear women's hot pink Jockey string bikini panties and often leisurely drops his circa 1976 Levi's 501 white boot cut button fly jeans to tuck in his shirt, excommunicated Mormon, pirate tattooed, ballroom dance troller, drugstore cowboy in high heeled steel-toed cowboy boots with hollow heels, California licensed gun dealer and California licensed private investigator / bounty hunter, has women's high heel fetish. Libertarian. Drives a restored grey and blue 1981 El Camino he keeps up himself. Always carries around a VA stress ball he inevitably squeezes. San Francsico sex clubs regular. One of the owners of GIGER and The Giger Building. Has a storm in his mind. Does not always play well with others. Accomplished card counter and Blackjack player. Listens to Toby Keith and Gary Allan. Into Quentin Tarantino's video Chicks With Guns. In love with ALICE who he has on a pedastal. Has the Giger habit of holding his drink in the palm of his hand. Friends with Michael Savage. Regularly did contract work for SCHOONOVER and SAMUELS till their deaths. JIM inhales marijuana through a Vapolution and drinks Russian River Pliny the Elder or shaken not stirred Maker's Mark bourbon with crushed spearmint leaves. JIM, along with ELEKTRA, LANCE, FATA MORGANA, ALICE, and EDGAR, does a daily noontime hour-and-a-half lap swim at San Francisco's North Beach Swimming Pool. JIM is a first-rate Blog Opera player. JIM'S Dead Men Tell No Tales tattoo on one arm and his Pirate Ship on his other arm ripple over his muscles.

The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid

a play by Pamela Olson
Page 8 of 44

MICHAEL B. SAMUELS / TWEEDLEDEE: Marin County California lawyer. The power of technological terrorist weaponry is insignificant to the power of the dark side of the Force that MICHAEL B. SAMUELS wields. With the ability to kill with the wave of a hand and a conscience thats clear enough to torture young wives and encourage the destruction of entire families, coke-head MICHAEL B. SAMUELS / TWEEDLEDEE is not one to be messed with. Oh no, fear him you should. This cold-hearted Marin County lawyer is famous for betraying troubled clients thereby making himself tons of cash and enemies. Lives in his office at 1120 Nye St, San Rafael, CA 94901. Under-endowed, circumcised badly and impotent, MICHAEL B. SAMUELS lives by the mantra: "What's worth doing is worth doing for money." With his bad long hair piece and frilly Liberace / Austin Powers' Doing Ballroom Dance clothes, high-heeled steeltoed gaudy cowboy boots with silver spurs, or women's spike heels, Elton John glasses, silver chains, MICHAEL B. SAMUEL / TWEEDLEDEE is known as Mr. Bad Breath. And if his fashion choices werent bad enough, this sociopath also raped the wife of his best friend, abused his children's band teacher's wife and does sewer service. Walks around with a sneer and an unlit Don Diego cigar throughout the whole play. As his deception and paraphilia grows, so does MICHAEL B. SAMUELS' / TWEEDLEDEE'S superiority complex. He already feels he is a supreme being, above all making him so damn relentless in his legal incompetence, he is a sneaky uncompromising baddie who manipulates with words, failing that with threats then force, and is absolutely loathsome. Always armed personally with nine-round Glock 27 in a shoulder holster and / or fiveround Smith & Wesson snub nose .38 revolver strapped to his calf. Friends with STEVEN SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO, JIM and Michael Savage. Drives a red hulking Hummer H1, the ultimate in environmental, ethical and moral incorrectness with its rough uncomfortable ride and its in-the-basement fuel economy rating of a wimpy 9 miles a gallon. Does not play well with others. Conspicuous Consumptionist Yuppie. Has undisclosed cameras all over his office and home. Drinks PK Tootsie Rolls Pearson Ranch orange juice and Kahlua on ice, or extra hot, non-fat, butterscotch mocha latt with extra whipped cream and, sprinkles. Is a methodical and emotionless top-of-the-game Blog Opera player. First-rate Blog Opera player, MICHAEL B. SAMUELS / TWEEDLEDEE does outrageous things in a search for his true self; the mundane day-to-day activities of life simply aren't fulfilling enough. His life, to this point, has been nothing of note: he has a cushy job and a cushy life with a set of friends that he felt necessary to fit in with. However, MICHAEL B. SAMUELS wants to fit in and be the best at the same time, a frighteningly impossible paradox that leads to his sexual and homicidal adventures, all in search of something to fill that recurring emptiness inside. But applying deep-cleansing face masks, espousing on the The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 9 of 44

hits of Huey Lewis and Phil Collins, and quoting the likes of Ed Gein and Ted Bundy just isn't working for MICHAEL B. SAMUELS / TWEEDLEDEE. DIRECTOR James Dunn: Co-founder and Director of the California Shakespeare Theatre in the 1960s and Artistic Director of the California Actors Theatre in the 1970s, James also founded the College of Marin Drama Department and served as its Chairman from 1964 to 2003. As a guest director he has worked with such established local companies as ACT, Marin Theatre Company, the Monterey Shakespeare Festival and the Marin Shakespeare Company. On the national level he has guest directed at the Julliard School in New York, The Old Globe Theatre in San Diego, and the Denver Center Theatre Company. His directing work has been honored in the theatre community with several Best Direction awards from the Bay Area Theater Critics Circle, several Dean Goodman Choice Awards for Best Directing, and a Mill Valley Milley Award for achievement in theatre. COSTUME DESIGNER Mia Baxter: been a part of Marin Theater Company's production team since 2008. Most recently, she has designed props and costumes for productions at Aurora Theatre Company, Cal Shakes, A.C.T. Conservatory and SF Playhouse. She has also worked with The Jewish Theatre, Sacramento Opera, Music Circus, Word for Word, Teatro Esperanza and Intersection for the Arts. She is an alumni of San Francisco State University. DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT: Marin County California Deputy District Attorney.

Settings
Marin Valley Mobile Country Club, Novato, California 3 View Ridge Drive at the Marin Valley Mobile Country Club, Novato, California Marin County Civic Center, San Rafael, California

The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid

a play by Pamela Olson
Page 10 of 44

CONTINUED FROM Episode 1

precious marriage vows?

--and what of your

A Christmas story of loss and betrayal to a modern day Enchantress who saw no benefit to getting married too quickly. She enjoyed dating, and tall, handsome, muscular, well-groomed, wealthy, well-mannered men pursuing her. A barbarian breaking down her door was not what she wanted. At stake was her heart, and she guarded it skillfully. Until the day she woke up to find her door broken down by a barbarian who had also stolen her heart.
http://www.scribd.com/doc/57104861/and-what-of-your-precious-marriage-vows

The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid

a play by Pamela Olson
Page 11 of 44

Pacing
Slow, languid, undulates, jiggles, long beats of silence with body language, costumes, music, and eyes telling the story, ebbs and flows, lazy backwaters, deliberate, savored, everything's sipped not chugged, drawn out, nuances, sway, trances, thoughtful, all the time in the world, rhythmic.

Acts & Scenes

Act I Scene One - Dog comes howling up behind you, sinks his teeth in your leg Act I Scene Two - Tells you how now things are going to be a little different Act I Scene Three - And she takes you down a peg Opening: Start MUSIC The Giger Chronicles Theme Song Herb Alpert Behind the Rain @ http://www.myspace.com/herbalpert/music/songs/behind-therain-album-version-285816. LIGHTS on and CURTAIN opens to HERB ALPERT performing. End MUSIC. LIGHT off HERB ALPERT who exits. Act I Scene One - Dog comes howling up behind you, sinks his teeth in your leg. Start MUSIC Patty Griffin's Change @ http://www.myspace.com/pattygriffin/music/songs/change-album-version-28652374. LIGHTS on PATTY GRIFFIN performing, and exterior Marin Valley Mobile Country Club. The time is 8:12 a.m. Thursday, July 1, 2006. It is a sunny 54 degrees, the wind from the S at 1 mph, with no gusts. The humidity is 94 percent. JIM, and J. K. OLSON, Marin Valley Mobile Country Club Treasurer on its Board of Directors, stand in the carport of 3 View Ridge Drive at the Marin Valley Mobile Country Club. OLSON is in need of a haircut, wears scruffy loafers, a wrinkled striped button down collar shirt, in rumpled, dark, pleated and cuffed trousers too big for him, and a hip length black leather aviator jacket, The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 12 of 44

also too large. OLSON is a dandified Pillsbury doughboy who gets his money's worth at the Fresh Choice at 124 Vintage Way, Novato, CA 94945 with their all-you-can-eat buffets. In the background is parked SAMUELS' red hulking Hummer H1, the ultimate in environmental, ethical and moral incorrectness with its rough uncomfortable ride and its in-the-basement fuel economy rating of a wimpy 9 miles a gallon. The trailers are dressed with July 4th bunting, banners and flags. SAMUELS and SCHOONOVER walk towards JIM and OLSON. SAMUELS has an unlit Don Diego cigar in his mouth. He wears his usual bad long hair piece and frilly Liberace / Austin Powers' Doing Ballroom Dance clothes, black high-waist tight Latin Dance pants with Satin Stripe, pink Mandarin Collared Striped Dance Shirt, 4 wide red patent leather big silver buckle belt, red satin sequined brocade double vent coat, high-heeled steel-toed gaudy cowboy boots with silver spurs, Elton John glasses, silver chains, and a sneer. SAMUEL'S pretty wired on cocaine and his breath stinks. The residents of the Marin Valley Mobile Country Club are all indicative of honest-to-God backwater, full of selfrighteous fervor, full of good old-fashioned values, friendly and neighborly, bigoted as all get-out, and mighty suspicious of change and anything not like themselves. JIM leisurely drops his white Levi 501 boot-cut button-fly jeans revealing he's wearing women's hot pink Jockey string bikini panties, then tucks in his shirt, pulls up his white Levi 501 boot-cut button-fly jeans, and buttons himself up. PAULA SIMPSON walks on set. PAULA SIMPSON as herself I live in Marin where we are 85% liberals, wealthy and no trailer parks. Unlike red areas. Confused? (PAULA SIMPSON walks off set) STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside

The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid

a play by Pamela Olson
Page 13 of 44

(SCHOONOVER, in his high-heeled cowboy boots, brushes his nose for cocaine. SCHOONOVER wears makeup, and too much of it. He puts on thin vinyl gloves and a George W. Bush mask, turns to the others, speaks with glee.) Put on your mittens and masks in case we want to get in some skiing. (pause) Man, I hate the Novato Narrows. JIM as played by Dwight Yoakam (puts on thin vinyl gloves and a Condoleezza Rice mask. Squeezes a VA stress ball, his Dead Men Tell No Tales tattoo on one arm and his Pirate Ship on his other arm ripple over his muscles as he turns to OLSON, winks at him as he speaks amused.) Here wealthy Marinites live pretending not to be so wealthy. Savvy, mate? (OLSON is a dandified Pillsbury doughboy who gets his money's worth at the Fresh Choice at 124 Vintage Way in Novato with their all-you-can-eat buffets. OLSON puts on thin vinyl gloves and looks at his reflection in the window of his neighbor's car, a late model Mercedes, parked in their carport) STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside (grunts as annoyed at the of one hour time they spent in just getting there and what they would be spending when they leave) Novato, on both side of 101, is just six exits to isolated subdivisions of ugly commercial and residential sprawl. JIM as played by Dwight Yoakam (smirks) The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 14 of 44

Started with Joseph B. Sweetser and Francis C. DeLong stealing Rancho de Novato from Fernando Feliz in 1850, with the full backing of the United States government and its military. MICHAEL B. SAMUELS / TWEEDLEDEE as played by Stanley Tucci (derisive to OLSON) Beginning in 1817, the Spanish, then Mexicans, got wealthy off stealing the Native Americans lands in what is now Marin County. STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside (grunts with envy) When the railroad arrived in Novato in 1879, DeLong had established orchards, dairy ranches, vineyards, and cheese factories, making him wealthy. His sub-division then of some 6,000 acres he had procured from the Spanish and Mexicans made him wealthy beyond the dreams of avarice. Fortunately, Marinites tolerate and continue to tolerate anything as long as there's money in it for somebody to accordingly pay off someone else. MICHAEL B. SAMUELS / TWEEDLEDEE as played by Stanley Tucci (derisive to OLSON) In 1846, the arrival of The Americans transferred all Marin's wealth to them helping in California getting coveted American state status in 1850. By 1866, all land-grant claims were resolved through false promises, costly judicature or various leaded means -Lead pipe, lead bullet. JIM as played by Dwight Yoakam The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 15 of 44

(Squeezes a VA stress ball, his Dead Men Tell No Tales tattoo on one arm and his Pirate Ship on his other arm ripple over his muscles) There not being enough land, once Highway 101 started in 1909, then a collection of Miwok trails and county roads that started at the ferry terminal in Sausalito and traveled a westerly course around Richardson Bay, wealthy Marinites immediately filled, drained, contained, and developed all the creeks, sloughs and marshes on either side of 101 with plain ugly and isolated developments. MICHAEL B. SAMUELS / TWEEDLEDEE as played by Stanley Tucci (in his usual bad long hair piece and frilly Liberace / Austin Powers' Doing Ballroom Dance clothes, black high-waist tight Latin Dance pants with Satin Stripe, pink Mandarin Collared Striped Dance Shirt, 4 wide red patent leather big silver buckle belt, red satin sequined brocade double vent coat, high-heeled steel-toed gaudy cowboy boots with silver spurs, Elton John glasses, silver chains, with a sneer and bad breath. He's still pretty wired on cocaine, still has an unlit Don Diego cigar in his mouth, puts on thin vinyl gloves and a Dick Cheney mask, adjusts his hair piece, then fist butts SCHOONOVER who ignores it) Yeaaaaah. Dog comes howling up behind you, sinks his teeth in your leg. (end PERFORMANCE PATTY GRIFFIN. LIGHT off on PATTY GRIFFIN who exits stage) J. K. OLSON as played by Burt Ward (puts on his Laura Bush mask, watches himself in the door mirror of his neighbor's late model Mercedes, takes off his Laura Bush mask, he looks a bit defensive, speaks uptight.) I don't mind taking some reasonable risks for some unreasonable amounts of money. JIM as played by Dwight Yoakam The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 16 of 44

(narrows his eyes, barks a low laugh, then speaks with menace while he adjusts his gun, a five-round Smith & Wesson snub nose .38 revolver strapped to one calf) You're just Mayberry on acid, Olson. (he adjusts a CRKT Ultima With Black Blade and Raider I Boot Knife, strapped to his other calf) Savvy, mate? STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside We ready? Check your weapons. JIM as played by Dwight Yoakam (checks his nine-round Glock 27 in a shoulder holster, mace and a flashlight on his belt. Squeezes a VA stress ball. JIM'S Dead Men Tell No Tales tattoo on one arm and his Pirate Ship on his other arm ripple over his muscles. Speaks through his Condoleezza Rice mask.) It's a beautiful day in the trailerhood, Schoonover. Savvy, mate? MICHAEL B. SAMUELS / TWEEDLEDEE as played by Stanley Tucci (pleased, smiles, his smile would scare a cop, checks his nine-round Glock 27 in a shoulder holster and five-round Smith & Wesson snub nose .38 revolver strapped to his calf since he's wearing high-heeled gaudy cowboy boots with silver spurs, then picks up a Louisville Slugger, chews on his unlit Don Diego cigar in his mouth. Speaks though his Dick Cheney mask, his tone dripping with sugar.) We're here for our aid and comfort. . STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 17 of 44

(he picks up a full-length Benelli 12-gauge pump action shotgun with a barrel length of 22" constructed of stainless steel. He pulls out a box of Remington #4 Buckshot shells from his pocket, then loads the shotgun. He strokes the Benelli shotgun. Speaks through his George W. Bush mask.) The perfect home assault weapon of choice Easy to maintain, rarely malfunctions and can engage targets at stand-off ranges to 100 yards using rifled slugs. It can safely engage within the confines of a home without the danger of round "over penetration" when using shells of #4 Buckshot or smaller. (He lovingly tucks the Benelli shotgun under his arm, picks up an 8 lb Fire Axe and strokes it, shrugs) We all have our hobby. (dominate and derisive SCHOONOVER turns to OLSON, and puts the fire axe in OLSON'S hands) Make yourself useful, Corgi. J. K. OLSON as played by Burt Ward (holds the fire axe loosely, watches himself in the mirror of his neighbor's late model Mercedes, speaks uncertain) Schoono -STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside (SCHOONOVER, in his high-heeled cowboy boots, brushes his nose for cocaine. SCHOONOVER wears makeup, and too much of it. His eyes hot, interrupts, fumes.) You can do your fuckin' CrossDressing CoverGirl act later. (turns to JIM) The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 18 of 44

You and Pretty Olson here go cut the power and any land lines here. Then bust in that back door. (JIM and OLSON move to the side of the trailer. JIM walks with slow, deliberate strides, not at all in a hurry. OLSON follows him.) And put on your goddamn mask, Corgi. (OLSON puts on a LAURA BUSH mask) When Samuels and I hear you at the backdoor, that's when we'll bust the front door. J. K. OLSON as played by Burt Ward (watches himself in the mirror in the trailer's window reflections as he adjusts the Laura Bush mask, shrug, uncomfortable) So I took some money and I made some enemies and I walked away. It's what I do best. JIM as played by Dwight Yoakam (to OLSON, squeezes a VA stress ball, speaks with disdain) No, snobs like you sub-contract out their abuse to the likes of Schoonover and Samuels and me. Pretend your hands are clean. Savvy, mate? The way I figure it, I can always keep feeding myself if I work easier and easier game prey without teeth; like your son and his mother. So what if the disturbos like you, and the petty crooks and outpatients, don't ever add up to a retirement-level score You might get mad with me, but you don't get even with me. I get real angry if someone makes a move on me when I'm playing it square. The way I live, I don't get angry too often. The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 19 of 44

MICHAEL B. SAMUELS / TWEEDLEDEE as played by Stanley Tucci (pulls out a cocaine bullet hanging from a chain on his neck, and snorts, is visibly excited, moves the unlit Don Diego cigar around in his mouth, checks again his nineround Glock 27 in a shoulder holster, five-round Smith & Wesson snub nose .38 revolver strapped to his calf since he's wearing high-heeled gaudy cowboy boots with silver spurs, adjusts his hair piece, and pats his Louisville Slugger. Speaks exuberant through his Dick Cheney mask.) Man, this is when we do it. (He lifts the chain from around his neck and hands the cocaine bullet to SCHOONOVER) Start MUSIC Henry Mancini & Doc Severinsen Can't Get Started Without You @ http://www.myspace.com/556125500/music/songs/henrymancini-doc-severinsen-can-t-get-started-28211795 STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside (lifts up his George W. Bush mask, snorts the cocaine bullet, replaces his George W. Bush mask) The old guy, his wife, any company they have are in for a big surprise, huh? (hands the cocaine bullet back to SAMUELS, and lovingly strokes the Benelli shotgun) MICHAEL B. SAMUELS / TWEEDLEDEE as played by Stanley Tucci (in his usual bad long hair piece and frilly Liberace / Austin Powers' Doing Ballroom Dance clothes, black high-waist tight Latin Dance pants with Satin Stripe, pink Mandarin Collared Striped Dance Shirt, 4 wide red patent leather big silver buckle belt, red satin sequined brocade double vent coat, high-heeled steel-toed gaudy cowboy boots with silver spurs, Elton John glasses, silver chains, with a sneer and bad breath. He's pretty wired on cocaine, has an unlit Don Diego cigar in his mouth, thin vinyl gloves on his hands and a Dick Cheney mask on his face; he rubs his thumbs against two fingers together for the sign of money. He speaks ecstatic as he adjust his hair piece.) The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 20 of 44

I can hear that $500,000 cash in their home safe just caaalling out to me, Schoonover. STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside (winks at OLSON, speaks cheerful) Crime follows dollars. As Marin Valley Mobile Country Club Treasurer, Olson knows exactly where his neighbor's cash is stashed. (sound of glass breaking) MICHAEL B. SAMUELS / TWEEDLEDEE as played by Stanley Tucci (derisive to OLSON) Some guys are just morally deficient. It'll take years of therapy to reduce Olson to just a sociopath. CURTAIN closes. End of Act I Scene One. Act I Scene Two Tells you how now things are going to be a little different. Start MUSIC Start MUSIC Yanni The Rain Must Fall @ http://www.youtube.com/watch? v=iOMjhZ8mBHg. LIGHT on YANI performing. YANI PERFORMANCE ends, LIGHT off YANNi who exits stage CURTAIN opens to to interior of 3 View Ridge Drive at the Marin Valley Mobile Country Club, Novato, California. A man and woman in their 50's are yelling and screaming in the living room heavily decorated with July 4th bunting, banners and flags. The front door is smashed open. SCHOONOVER and SAMUELS advance on the man and woman. JIM and OLSON enter from the kitchen. JIM turns on a light. STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside Police! Don't move! (With screams, curses and yells, THE WOMAN advances on SCHOONOVER in his George W. Bush mask. THE WOMAN'S face is haggard and trenched from a lifetime of The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 21 of 44

cigarettes, and is heavily made up with rouge circles and circumflexed eyebrows. There is an artless blue dye job on her thin hair. She wears a worn pink quilted bathrobe, orthopedic shoes on her feet. She is a typical Marin Valley Mobile Country Clubber old woman with an ego the size of aircraft carrier, and just as maneuverable, who tarts themselves up well into their eighties so they look like retired street prostitute facists instead of dignified elder ladies. She is full of honest-to-God backwater, full of selfrighteous fervor, full of good old-fashioned values, friendly and neighborly, bigoted as all get-out, and mighty suspicious of change and anything not like themselves.) MICHAEL B. SAMUELS / TWEEDLEDEE as played by Stanley Tucci (whacks the WOMAN across the head with the barrel of his five-round Smith & Wesson snub nose .38 revolver; she reels and goes quiet. The MAN, sickly thin with a slouch and paunch, in a tie-dye Jockey tee-shirt and tie-dye Jockey briefs advances to her, SAMUELS points his gun at him.) Police! Hands up goddammit! (the MAN stops, puts his hands up, looks around, starts as he recognizes OLSON in spite of the Laura Bush mask and vinyl gloves. OLSON looks at a 2-liter DietPepsi bottle and a bag of tortilla chips on the table.) STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside Now then, so we don't have to tear up your nice home any further, where's the safe? (the MAN continues to stare in shock at OLSON. JIM walks over and rips the front of the woman's clothes open. The MAN reacts. SAMUELS puts his five-round Smith & Wesson snub nose .38 revolver to the man's temple. The MAN stops.) STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside Pay attention. We want ... to know where the safe is. We're on a schedule, so we want to know now. MICHAEL B. SAMUELS / TWEEDLEDEE as played by Stanley Tucci

The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid

a play by Pamela Olson
Page 22 of 44

(taps the barrel of his five-round Smith & Wesson snub nose .38 revolver on the man's tie-dye Jockey tee-shirt. Speaks through his Dick Cheney mask.) Tells you how now things are going to be a little different. It might have been Peace and Love for you once, but here and now is full of predators, and we're in it for the fun. Gunshots people'll think are just fireworks. JIM as played by Dwight Yoakam (Speaks through his Condoleezza Rice mask.) We need some music. (JIM walks to a CD rack and CD player. OLSON picks up the 2-liter Diet-Pepsi bottle on the table, lifts up his Laura Bush mask, opens the Diet-Pepsi and drinks, puts it down, starts munching on tortilla chips next to it.) Andy Williams . . . and some Frank Sinatra. MICHAEL B. SAMUELS / TWEEDLEDEE as played by Stanley Tucci (lifts up his Dick Cheney mask, pulls out a cocaine bullet and snorts) I can go for some Frank Sinatra. J. K. OLSON as played by Burt Ward (watches himself in the mirror in the trailer's window reflections) Theater is a starship that takes you everywhere while going nowhere. (JIM puts a CD on. Start MUSIC Frank Sinatra's All or Nothing At All @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfeBAo-08c0. JIM leisurely drops his pants and pushes the WOMAN down to the floor. Through his Condoleezza Rice mask, JIM looks the MAN in the eye. JIM kneels, pushes the woman's legs apart and raises her knees. JIM looks again the MAN in the eye. JIM pulls a bottle of Rush and a Trojan condom The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 23 of 44

from his shirt pocket, inhales the Rush, opens the Trojan package with his teeth and puts it on.) STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside (Sways with the music, looks at The Man) You know I didn't come here to ask you out on a date. You're gonna have to tell me before I count to three. (JIM squeezes a VA stress ball then puts it in his pocket and spits on his vinyl glovedhand and puts it to between the WOMAN'S legs. JIM looks again the MAN in the eye.) STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside You ready? (JIM, still looking the man in the eye, enters the woman. Her head is bleeding onto the floor.) STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside One. (JIM briefly groans) JIM as played by Dwight Yoakam (looks at OLSON, who is aroused, JIM moves away from the woman, JIM'S Dead Men Tell No Tales tattoo on one arm and his Pirate Ship on his other arm ripple over his muscles, JIM still looks at OLSON. Speaks through his Condoleezza Rice mask.) Ooh la la. Want a piece of this? MICHAEL B. SAMUELS / TWEEDLEDEE as played by Stanley Tucci The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 24 of 44

You know Olson don't pass up nothin' that has a dress and is free. STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside Two. (OLSON turns the WOMAN over, unzips, unbuckles his belt, barely pulls his pants down and starts to hold his still flaccid penis to enter her. JIM stands up and pulls up his pants.) JIM as played by Dwight Yoakam (tosses a Trojan condom to OLSON. Speaks through his Condoleezza Rice mask.)

Hey Corgi, no leaving any DNA evidence! Savvy, mate? (OLSON misses catching the tossed Trojan condom) MICHAEL B. SAMUELS / TWEEDLEDEE as played by Stanley Tucci (shakes his head at OLSON) Olson being foolish has never disqualified him from employment. STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside Three. (SAMUELS pulls the trigger. The impact sends the MAN back against the sofa he falls dead onto. SCHOONOVER push OLSON off the WOMAN.) STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside (leans over the WOMAN) The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 25 of 44

Your turn, dear. Where's the safe? (OLSON stand up, pulls his pants up, tucks his shirt in, buckles his belt, zips up. SAMUELS straddles the WOMAN and turns her over so she faces him, puts his fiveround Smith & Wesson snub nose .38 revolver to the woman's temple.) STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside Ready for the count, dear? (pause) One, two, three. (SAMUELS pulls the trigger. The WOMAN arches and her legs go out straight and stiff) STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside (he shoots the WOMAN with the full-length Benelli 12-gauge pump action shotgun, then laughs as he yanks his George W. Bush mask off, tosses it down and, looks at OLSON. SCHOONOVER, in his high-heeled cowboy boots, brushes his nose for cocaine. SCHOONOVER wears makeup, and too much of it. Speaks jubilant as he sneers.) If you can't hang with the big boys stay on the porch, Olson. JIM as played by Dwight Yoakam (cups his crotch. Pulls his Condoleezza Rice mask off and tosses it on the floor) Olson, you with the bad boys now. Savvy, mate? MICHAEL B. SAMUELS / TWEEDLEDEE as played by Stanley Tucci (laughs, threatening) Olson, you're with us where we can keep an eye on you. The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 26 of 44

J. K. OLSON as played by Burt Ward (frowns, watches himself in the mirror in the trailer's living room) What -STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside (interrupts, looks meaningfully at OLSON) Start MUSIC Chuck Mangione Legend of the One-Eyed Sailor @ http://www.myspace.com/charlesfmangione/music/songs/legend-of-theone-eyed-sailor-30928. LIGHTS on Chuck Mangione performing. Ole Cash Cow Olson'll rat out his neighbors, wife, and son why not us? JIM as played by Dwight Yoakam (cups his crotch. Speaks through his Condoleezza Rice mask.) Olson is no stranger to performing acts of brutalities. MICHAEL B. SAMUELS / TWEEDLEDEE as played by Stanley Tucci (urgent) Come on man, let's find that fuckin' $500 thousand in cash. That's $125,000 cash for each of us. (The four of them start to search, tearing up the home in the process. SCHOONOVER / hits the kitchen counter with the fire axe. The kitchen counter breaks revealing a Sentry Safe bolted to the floor. SAMUELS swings the Louisville Slugger at the Sentry Safe. The Louisville Slugger bounces off the Sentry Safe. SCHOONOVER puts down the Louisville Slugger and picks up the Benelli 12-gauge pump action shotgun. He fires it at the Sentry Safe, which shatters, the impact pushes the cash inside up and out, then the cash scatters down.) The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 27 of 44

STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside (laughs) Mission accomplished. (JIM walks into a bedroom, pause, returns with a pillow case. The four of them pick up the cash putting it into the pillow case.) JIM as played by Dwight Yoakam (picks up a photo in the money, looks at it, sees some other photos, picks them up, shuffles through them, squeezes a VA stress ball, a flicker of disgust crosses his eyes as he speaks with dislike) Cash from trash. There's kiddie-porn here. Savvy, mate? (pause) This explains their $500,000 in cash. Humans who buy their sex in Marin expect twenty-four hour service. STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside (matter-of-fact) The customers know where to go. MICHAEL B. SAMUELS / TWEEDLEDEE as played by Stanley Tucci (laughs at the dead man and woman) We weren't the customers they wanted. JIM as played by Dwight Yoakam The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 28 of 44

(pause, tosses the photos to the floor, squeezes a VA stress ball.) Oopsie. We'll leave 'em for the cops. Some of them are of this guy with a kid. With these photos, Constable-on-Patrol won't be so interested then in finding who killed these kiddie-rapers. (PAULA SIMPSON walks on set) Paula Simpson as herself If you can drive your house to the next county...you are not #UniteBlue material. CURTAIN closes. End of Act I Scene Two. Act I Scene Three And she takes you down a peg. Start MUSIC Herb Alpert Behind the Rain @ http://www.myspace.com/herbalpert/music/songs/behind-therain-album-version-285816. LIGHTS on and CURTAIN opens to HERB ALPERT performing, and to interior Marin County Civic Center Superior Court of California County of Marin Criminal Clerk's Office courtroom of Judge Terrence R. Boren, Dept C (415) 444-7213, at the bench. Marin County Deputy District Attorney DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT sits at a table at one side. She wears a suit with calflength skirt of light and fine summer-weight grey wool with dark blue pin stripes, with a two-inch dark patent blue belt, and short jacket of fine summer-weight grey wool, a dark royal blue silk blouse with a strand of gray Pacific island pearls at her throat, taupe-tinted nylons, and dark patent blue two-inch spiked high heels. There is a Coach Bleeker Leather Commuter briefcase at her feet. At the other side of the table sits defense attorney STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO. SCHOONOVER, in his high-heeled cowboy boots, brushes his nose for cocaine. SCHOONOVER wears makeup, and too much of it. With him is a DEFENDANT who looks like a weasel. The DEFENDANT'S eyes dart around the courtroom. His wife isn't with him. No one is with him but his defense attorney SCHOONOVER. TERRENCE R. BOREN as played by James Dunn The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 29 of 44

Let's get on with this bail hearing for harassment, stalking, three charges of assault, three charges of battery, and trespassing, disturbing the peace, and destruction of property. STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside (stands, smug) Your Honor, my client has deep ties to the community, is employed twelve years at the Tamalpais Union High School District, is the sole support of his family, active in Marin Little League, teaches ballroom dance, has no criminal record, and is willing to testify on his own behalf. (FEMALE VOICE from the audience calls out disgusted, Ballroom Dance Teacher? String him up.' The DEFENDANT stands cocky, takes the oath) DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (stands up at the table, speaks soft, shuffles through papers on the table) How long have you been active in Marin Little League? DEFENDANT as played by Keith Sims (smirks, his hands clench into fists and unclench) Six years. (MUSIC end LIGHTS off on HERB ALPERT who exists set) DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 30 of 44

(shuffles through papers on the table, speaks soft, smiles nicely) Do you have a criminal record? DEFENDANT as played by Keith Sims (smirk, speaks with contempt to her) Nope. I'm a fine upstanding citizen. DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (shuffles through papers on the table, speaks soft, smiles nicely) Are you currently working? DEFENDANT as played by Keith Sims (smirk, speaks with contempt to her) I'm on summer break. DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (soft) How long have you been married? DEFENDANT as played by Keith Sims (smirks, his hands clench into fists and unclench, moves up than down on the balls of his feet) Eight years. Never a problem with the wife. DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (speaks soft, smiles nicely ) Where does your family live? DEFENDANT as played by Keith Sims The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 31 of 44

(smirks, his hands clench into fists and unclench) 138 Rodeo Avenue Lagunitas, California 94938. DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (soft) Where are you living since your latest arrest? DEFENDANT as played by Keith Sims (anger, his hands clench into fists and unclench) San Rafael, 255 Canal Street, Bay View Apartments. DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (soft, shuffles, through papers on the table) How long have you lived at 255 Canal Street? DEFENDANT as played by Keith Sims (anger, his hands clench into fists and unclench, his face gets red, his breathing gets loud moves up than down on the balls of his feet) A couple days. DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (speaks soft, smiles nicely) Where were you living before your latest arrest? DEFENDANT as played by Keith Sims (anger, his hands clench into fists and unclench) The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 32 of 44

A Motel 6. DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (soft) How many children do you have? DEFENDANT as played by Keith Sims (anger, his hands clench into fists and unclench) One. DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (shuffles through papers on the table, speaks soft, smiles nicely) Boy or girl? DEFENDANT as played by Keith Sims (anger, his hands clench into fists and unclench moves up than down on the balls of his feet) A girl with a very active imagination. DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (speaks soft, smiles nicely) How old is your daughter? DEFENDANT as played by Keith Sims (smirks, his hands clench into fists and unclench) Ten. DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (soft) The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 33 of 44

When was the last time you were at your wife and daughter's home? DEFENDANT as played by Keith Sims (with anger he rhythmically clenches his into fists and then unclenches them while he moves up than down then up then down on the balls of his feet) It's my home. I pay for it I'm still paying the bank on it. STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside (remains seated, speaks smug) Objection. This has nothing to do with a bail hearing. DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (pause, shuffles through papers on the table, looks at the DEFENDANT, speaks soft, smiles nicely) It has everything to do with credibility. (bored, BOREN tries to look like he's thinking, then glaces over to his judicial assistant, who does a small nod) DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (as she fights to not chuckle she watches the nod from the judge's assistant, does soft shuffles through papers on the table, looks at the DEFENDANT) I will connect it up to the bail application before this court, Your Honor. TERRENCE R. BOREN as played by James Dunn (unprofessional as visibly annoyed) The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 34 of 44

Proceed, Counsel. DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (stifles a giggle as she looks at the DEFENDANT, she speaks soft and smiles nicely) When was the last time you were at your wife and daughter's home? DEFENDANT as played by Keith Sims (anger, his hands clench into fists and unclench) Last week, and it's my home. Yes, I entered my home, with my key. Of course, I did. It's my home. Doesn't matter what anyone says different. DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (speaks soft, smiles nicely) Was anyone home? DEFENDANT as played by Keith Sims (smirks, his hands clench into fists and unclench) My daughter. DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (soft) Was anyone else home? DEFENDANT as played by Keith Sims (smirks, his hands clench into fists and unclench)

The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid

a play by Pamela Olson
Page 35 of 44

No, I made sure of that. That's why I was over at the neighbor's watching when they butted into something none of their business. DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (speaks soft, smiles nicely) Did you have a conversation with your daughter? DEFENDANT as played by Keith Sims (smirks, his hands clench into fists and unclench) Wasn't no conversation. I told her she'd caused a lot of trouble with her lies. That she was gonna end up in an orphanage. You see, if it hadn't been for that stupid movie they showed at school getting her all upset DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (interrupts soft) No further questions. DEFENDANT as played by Keith Sims (puzzled, sits down) TERRENCE R. BOREN as played by James Dunn Young lady, I don't understand your line of questioning. If you can't connect this up DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (interrupts, soft)

The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid

a play by Pamela Olson
Page 36 of 44

My name is Ms. Proudfoot, Judge. Or, you may refer to me by my title, Deputy District Attorney. (SCHOONOVER smirks and rubs his hands together) TERRENCE R. BOREN as played by James Dunn (pause, looks at his assistant who again nods) Proceed, counsel. DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (looks at the DEFENDANT, her voice now hard, she raises some papers) Yes, Your Honor. I have here a certified copy of an active Order of Protection signed by Judge Verna A. Adams of Family Law in this jurisdiction two months ago. Among it lengthy and detailed terms and conditions are that this defendant have no direct contact and remain away 100 feet from the home of his wife and child and the persons of his wife and child. TERRENCE R. BOREN as played by James Dunn (pause, looks at his assistant,who again nods) Bring that up to me. (a court officer takes the papers and walks them to the judge who scans them, a FEMALE VOICE calls out sotto voce 'Family Court in Marin is where we turn abused kids into monsters.') STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside (SCHOONOVER, in his high-heeled cowboy boots, brushes his nose for cocaine. SCHOONOVER wears makeup, and too much of it. Speaks sarcastic.) Objection, Your Honor. Relevance. The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 37 of 44

DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (ignores SCHOONOVER, eyes hard at the DEFENDANT, speaks soft with a small grim smile) Your Honor, the relevance is that the defendant has just admitted here under oath that he violated proudly several terms of an Order of Family Court in this jurisdiction. An Order that he has intimate knowledge of. He has further acknowledged here that said violations were willful, that he intended to act as he did, and that it was without cause Thus, pursuant to to Family Court law, he is to be ordered to jail for a term not to exceed six months. STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside (sarcastic) This has nothing to do with the question of bail in a criminal hearing. DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (ignores SCHOONOVER, as though never interrupted, eyes still hard at the DEFENDANT, continues to speaks soft. Now has a small grim smile) This Court has already heard sworn testimony giving evidence that this defendant fled when initially charged in the Family Court. In fact, he was only located by a private investigator where he was living at the Santa Rosa Motel 6 under an assumed name. The purpose of bail is to ensure the defendant's presence at a trial. In this case, the defendant's past actions, and the indisputable fact that he is facing a jail sentence in another court in this jurisdiction, the People respectfully request that any bail applications be The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 38 of 44

denied, and the defendant summarily remanded until trial. (the DEFENDANT looks like he's been kicked in the stomach, his eyes bulge, he has difficulty catching his breath, his hands clench by the side of his chair, his face is red) STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside (sputters sarcastic) Your Honor, the District Attorney is asking for a remand! It's not as though he's charged with murder DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (snaps her head to the defense attorney, an old trick that draws every eye to her, continues to speaks soft but now with a small grim smile and her eyes hard) He is charged in another court in this jurisdiction with rape, sodomy, incest, sexual abuse, domestic violence, attempted murder, and what would have been murder if neighbors hadn't intervened when they heard the victims screaming in terror. These neighbors positively identified him and, will testify. He did flee the jurisdiction of that court. And he did confess before this very court that he proudly violated an existing Order of another court, and one in this jurisdiction. STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside (yells) Judge, that's Family Court! DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes

The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid

a play by Pamela Olson
Page 39 of 44

(her voice takes on a commanding undertone that carries to everywhere in the courtroom, she looks at the judge, along with everyone else, in a now very silent courtroom) Surely, Your Honor, is not ruling that an order of one court is entitled to more respect than the order of another? A defendant who will spit on the lawful order of one court has displayed his true character and his utter disregard for the law. Indeed, if this court grants bail to this defendant, it will be providing him with a motive to flee. This defendant is only charged in this court. He stands all-but-convicted in another court. The People respectfully, lawfully and reasonably request a remand, not only for the protection of the victims herein, and our community at large, but to give the Family Court their opportunity to impose such sentence as it deems appropriate for the violations of its Order. If bail is granted by this court, and the defendant again flees, a child, its mother, their neighbors, and our community, will certainly be in danger again. This court should not provide that opportunity to this defendant. STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside (SCHOONOVER, in his high-heeled cowboy boots, brushes his nose for cocaine. SCHOONOVER wears makeup, and too much of it. He yells.) This is ridiculous! Ms. Proudfoot can't know what's in my client's mind (A FEMALE VOICE calls out proud sotto voce, 'And she takes you down a peg') DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (turns and winks in the direction the proud soto voce came from, then turn back,her eyes hard at the DEFENDANT, she speaks soft with a small grim smile) The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 40 of 44

I don't need to, do I? (pause as the courtroom remains very silent) The defendant has already spoken what's on his mind. TERRENCE R. BOREN as played by James Dunn (looks around the courtroom then at his assistant, who again nods. BOREN sighs) Defendant is immediately remanded for transportation to the Family Court. If sentence is not imposed by that court, he shall be returned before me for additional bail arguments. (DEFENDANT looks scared) STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside (puts his hand on the DEFENDANT and postures to the defendant) I'm calling Samuels as we speak. (COURT OFFICERS move to the DEFENDANT, handcuff him and lead him away, a FEMALE VOICE voice calls out sotto voce, 'Don't take away the creep's belt') Mike'll have you out of jail in no time. In this county the name means more than the game. Trust me. (he turns to DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT) Ms. Proudfoot? Start MUSIC Kiku Collins Mr. Barista @ http://www.myspace.com/kikucollins/music/songs/mr-barista26844885. LIGHTS on Kiku Collins performing. DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 41 of 44

(speaks neutral as she puts her paperwork into her Coach Bleeker Leather Commuter briefcase) Yes? STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside (moves towards her) Ah . . . I assume you'll be going to Family Court on this personally? DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (snaps her briefcase closed) Yes and right now. (dismisses him, hangs her Coach Bleeker Leather Commuter briefcase off her shoulder, and walks away) STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside (he moves towards her) Well, so am I. Let's Walk and Make A Deal. DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (she continues walking away) No, thank you. (walks away) STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside (he moves closer towards her) The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 42 of 44

You've got no win on this one, you know. DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (she stops, puts her briefcase down, puts her hand on her hips, and stares at him, pause) You mean I can't and won't lose this one, don't you, counselor? (pause, picks up her Coach Bleeker Leather Commuter briefcase, hangs it again on her shoulder, and calmly walks away) STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside (open-mouthed, eyes wide, he's angry) Now wait a minute DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (she stops, turns around, again puts her briefcase down again, puts her hand on her hips and stares at him, pause) Counselor, I know you feel you are beyond my reach. Most everyone's reach for that matter. You're incorrect. When things don't feel right, you make plans for things going wrong. Which I've done for you and your dirtbag client I know you work the other side of the street very often. This is a fifteen-round fight, and you and your monster has to win every round. He's already lost the first two rounds. Now he goes to jail, serves his time, gets out, does it again 'cause that's his creep nature. I get another shot at him then. That's when I drop him for the count then and for here also. And when he goes down that time for the now three times, it'll be hard. Raw, overwhelming power. That's simple enough for even you to understand, Counselor. He's not going to be very happy with you then, eh? The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid
a play by Pamela Olson
Page 43 of 44

(pause, picks up her briefcase, hangs it again on her shoulder, and again calmly walks away) (Start MUSIC Herb Alpert Aranjuez @ http://www.myspace.com/herbalpert/music/songs/aranjuezmon-amour-album-version-285818, LIGHT on HERB ALPERT performing.) STEVEN T. SCHOONOVER / ALARIC / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO as played by Michael Ironside (SCHOONOVER, in his high-heeled cowboy boots, brushes his nose for cocaine. SCHOONOVER wears makeup, and too much of it. Angry, he strides after JESSI, then takes her arm.) DOROTHY CHOU PROUDFOOT as played by Katie Holmes (stops, turns around and stares at him, pause, then speaks mild) Remove your hand from me or you will never do anything again without major medical assistance. CURTAIN closes. The End

CONTINUED AT Episode 3 Trailerhood

There's Always Something Going On Down in the Trailerhood

http://www.scribd.com/doc/96781570/Trailerhood-a-Giger-Chronicles-Episode The Giger Chronicles: Episode 2 Mayberry On Acid

a play by Pamela Olson
Page 44 of 44