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2012 Michigan Community College Press Association Judging Form

Place of award:
First Place

Second Place

Third Place

Honorable Mention

Category: Sports feature

Headline/title of entry: Fierce as ever: Lady Ocelots climb soccer rankings
Contestants name: Holly Bunzeluk
College name: Schoolcraft College
Judges comments: This is a nice piece about the women! s soccer team. Your writing! s
easy to read, and you pull the reader through your story nicely. Still, you don! t support a
number of the contentions you make in the story, even when it would be easy for you to
do so:
The women of Schoolcraft soccer thrive on the challenge to work harder than their
opponents, their teammates and themselves. The Ocelots are always pushing and
encouraging each other to be better.
Says who? You could have given this paragraph more strength by supporting it with
examples or with a quote that illustrated the point.
The three scholar athletes are all inspiring leaders and gifted players. They lead by
example and set a high bar for their teammates. On defense, midfield and forward
respectively, these three women dominate the field.
Again, says who? You could have given this paragraph more strength by supporting it
with the players! statistics or with a relevant quote from the coach or another player.
You! ll rarely go wrong by giving your readers more information. Don! t make your
readers take your word for it" prove it to them.
pcm