I need you...

I love you Send This SMS Free on Mobile

I need you... I love you... I can't go anywhere without you... Oh my lovely... SHOES !
Updated: 02/03/2007
Newtons Law of Romance Send This SMS Free on Mobile
Newtons Law of Romance LOVE CAN NEITHER BE CREATED NOR BE
DESTROYED, IT CAN ONLY BE CHANGED FROM ONE GIRL FRIEND TO
ANOTHER
Updated: 30/12/2006
Newtons 2nd law of ishq Send This SMS Free on Mobile
Newtons 2nd law of ishq the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is
directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this
love is same to as increament or decreament of the bank balance
Updated: 30/12/2006
Newtons First Law of Ishq Send This SMS Free on Mobile
Newtons First Law of Ishq a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a
girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, untill on unless any external
agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy
Updated: 30/12/2006
Girl: when we get married Send This SMS Free on Mobile
Girl: when we get married, i want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your
burden. boy: it's very kind of you, darling, but i don't have any worries or troubles. girl:
well that is because we aren't married yet
Updated: 22/12/2006
A small kid wrote Send This SMS Free on Mobile
A small kid wrote to Santa Clause, "send me a brother". santa wrote back, "send me ur
mother"
Updated: 22/12/2006
Some times small things in life hurt a lot Send This SMS Free on Mobile
Some times small things in life hurt a lot... If u dont agree with me.. then... . . .try to sit on
a pin !!
Updated: 26/11/2006
line mar raha hay Send This SMS Free on Mobile

________________

________________

______________
__________

Kuch Nahi 'I' k mobile ko 'U' k mobile say pyar ho gaya hay is liye line mar raha hay.

Updated: 24/11/2006
Kaisa wollu banaya unko Send This SMS Free on Mobile
7 Angels come to me & asked for
the most
Inteligent
Smart
Nice
Sweet
Well Behaved
Well Groomed person
So i Gave them your address.
DEKHA

Kaisa wollu banaya unko

Updated: 23/11/2006
i m in love with a guy Send This SMS Free on Mobile
Girl : Mom, i m in love with a guy.. Mom shocked : How old is the boy & what is he
doing Girl : 3 month & kicking happily in my stomach..
Updated: 23/11/2006
Don key Send This SMS Free on Mobile
Tum ek aise don ho jiske pass, Har lock ki chabi hain, Tabhi to apko don with key kahte
hain. Aur Pyarse. "Donkey" .Think it DON!
Updated: 23/11/2006
kiss is a key off love Send This SMS Free on Mobile
kiss is a key off love' love is a lock off marrige' marrige is a box of children'children r
problem off pakistan soo stop kissing and save pakistan
Updated: 14/11/2006
aij jamadarnee ko aik condume Send This SMS Free on Mobile
aij jamadarnee ko aik condume mil gayia too malikan kee pass lee kar gayee our poocha
yee kia hay? malikan kia ap loog sex nahee karteee ? jamadarnee kartee hay leeken etna
bb nahee kee khool uttar jayeee
Updated: 14/11/2006
Why do some teachers wear sunglasses Send This SMS Free on Mobile
Question:Why do some teachers wear sunglasses? Answer:Because their pupils are very
bright.
Updated: 11/11/2006
b tu beth ker makhyan maaar Send This SMS Free on Mobile
twinkle twinkle little star
tera boy friend gaya bazar
us ko mil gaya doosra pyar
ab tu beth ker makhyan maaar
Updated: 11/11/2006
Was your Father a mechanic? Send This SMS Free on Mobile
Was your Father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
Updated: 11/11/2006
Good professional Send This SMS Free on Mobile
To be a "Good professional", always start to study late for "Exams". Because it teaches
how to manage "Time" and tackle "Emergencies"!!
Updated: 09/11/2006
Yaar aaj ka din bada fuddu hai Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Yaar aaj ka din bada fuddu hai....

Fuddu se yaad aaya

Kaisa hai tu..!!

Updated: 09/11/2006
Donkey is busy reading this SMS Send This SMS Free on Mobile

The animals of a jungle have decided to hold a meeting. The lion has come, the tiger has
come, the elephant has come, the monkey has come.. But The meeting hasn’t started.
Guess why ? Because the Donkey is busy reading this SMS!

Updated: 20/10/2006
Keeping idiot busy Send This SMS Free on Mobile

This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, an cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for
cat,20 cat, seconds cat !… Now read it without the word cat

Difference between watch & wife Send This SMS Free on Mobile

What is difference between watch & wife?

Ans- Ek bigarti hai toh bandh ho jati hai aur Dusri bigarti hae tu Challu ho jati hai!

Updated: 20/10/2006
Why should I learn? Send This SMS Free on Mobile

The more I learn the more I get to know,

the more I know the more I forget,
the more I forget the less I know,
so why should I be learning??
Updated: 20/10/2006
God’s apology Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Hello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever
realised. My apologies on behalf of the whole world.

Updated: 20/10/2006
How did you find me? Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Sweet candies are nice to eat …

Sweet words are easy to say …
but, sweet ppl are hard to find …
OH MY GOD! how did u find me?

Updated: 20/10/2006
Talking about oxygen Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Life without u is impossible,

u r in my breath and blood.
i cant stay for a second without u,
if u r not there i am dead
oye hello i am talking about OXYGEN

Updated: 20/10/2006
Your own stupid Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Today, tommorow and yesterday there will be …

one heart that would always beat for you …
You know Whose??? … your Own Stupid!!!

Updated: 20/10/2006
If you are very sad Send This SMS Free on Mobile

If ever in your life U R very sad & lonely

& feel that U have lost every thing,
I will come, Hold your hand,
take U 4 Walk on a Bridge & Show U where 2 jump From

Updated: 20/10/2006
Rain makes beautiful Send This SMS Free on Mobile
The rain makes all things beautiful …
The grass & flowers 2 …
If rain makes all things beautiful
why doesn’t it rain on you?

Updated: 20/10/2006
Pronouncing good english Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Can u pronounce good english:- read along woof,

roof, loof, shoof, shoof, woof, loof, roof,
poof, woof woof, hoof, woof, roof, shoof.

Test results: U r a good dog. Now stop barking.

Updated: 20/10/2006
From birth till my death Send This SMS Free on Mobile

From Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec,

From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u
have never changed.

For me, you’ve always been…

a headache !

Updated: 20/10/2006
No one rested Send This SMS Free on Mobile

God made man and then rested,

god made women and then no one rested.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Can u send me ur photo Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Could u fax me ur photo very very urgently ?

Mind u - it’s really very very urgent,
damn serious and very imp …
I’m playing cards and we’ve misplaced the JOKER.
Updated: 20/10/2006
Why should only I suffer Send This SMS Free on Mobile

When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God

that everyone should have a friend like you…
Why should only i suffer!

Updated: 20/10/2006
When u feel sad Send This SMS Free on Mobile

When u feel sad …

To cheer up just go to the mirror and say …
“damn I am really so cute” u will overcome your sadness …
But don’t make this a habit .. Coz liars go to hell !!!!

Updated: 20/10/2006
Don’t bring any gift Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Hi! i am marrying next week. there will be a small party and only a few people will be
invited…so i am inviting you…don’t bring any gift with you…just bring someone to
marry me

Updated: 20/10/2006
Someday u may lose Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Someday u may lose ur hair ..

u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind ..
But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks ..
coz u cant lose wot u don’t have!

Updated: 20/10/2006
Husband wife quarrel Send This SMS Free on Mobile

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.”

The husband replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”
Updated: 20/10/2006
Ur smile Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Ur smile can be compared with Flowers,

Ur voice can b compared with a cuckoo,
Ur innocence can b compared with a baby,
but in foolishness… You’ve got no comparisons

Updated: 20/10/2006
Why I SMS U Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Why do U think I SMS u ?

Is it because I care ? Or I miss u ?
Or I love u ? Or I need You ? No ! It’s b’coz…
Time pass ke liye koi BAKRA chaiye !

Updated: 20/10/2006
Why I miss u Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Sometime my mind asks why I miss you?

Why I care for you?
Why I remember you?
Then my heart answers it’s simply because mental patient needs more care.

One person u love Send This SMS Free on Mobile

When you get this SMS,

send it to 1 person u love, 1 u hate,
1 u always think of and 1 u wish to kill.
Now, keep guessing why I sent it to u.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Same mistake twice Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Another MOON ? ………..Possible

Another SUN ? …………..Possible
Another SKY ? …………….Possible
Another Friend Like U ? ………Impossible
‘coz GOD can’t make the same MISTAKE twice
Updated: 20/10/2006
Sandal utaaroon kya? Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Boy: Jaaneman, is dil mein aaja!

Gal: Sandal utaaroon kya?
Boy: Are pagli, yeh koi mandir thodi hai, aise hi aaja!

Updated: 20/10/2006
Koi pathar se na maare Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Koi pathar se na maare mere diwane ko …

Koi pathar se na maare mere diwane ko …
Bomb ka zamana hai yaaron … Udaa do saale ko.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Aisa kalyug aayega Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Ramchandra kah gaye siya se,

aisa kalyug aayega,
sirf ek dost SMS karega,
dusara kamina bas padh ke muskurayega!

Updated: 20/10/2006
Tum sa koi dushara Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Tum sa koi dusara zameen par hua to rab se sikayat hogi….

Ek to jhella nahi jata dusra aa gaya to kya halat hogi!!!

Updated: 20/10/2006
Unki dewangi Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Jab Jab hume pyaas lagti hai,

unke aane ki aas lagti hai ,
unki dewangi mein hum ho gaye itne dewane,
Ki har ladki ki maa apni saas lagti hai

Updated: 20/10/2006
I will die Send This SMS Free on Mobile
Wife- i will die.
Husband- i will also die.
Wife- Why do you want 2 die?
husband- bcoz mein itni khushi bardasht nahi kar sakta:

Updated: 20/10/2006
Poori cycle marne ki.. Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Girl riding on a cycle hit the Jatt

Jatt: Andhi hai kya
Girl: huh Behra hai kya, Ghanti jo mari?
Jatt: Ghanti hee marni thi to nikal kar marti, poori cycle marne ki kya zaroorat thi.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Kunware hum bhi nahin Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Haseen tum ho to bure hum bi nahi,

mahalo mein tum ho to sadak par hum bhi nahi,
pyar karke kehte ho shaadi shuda ho,
kaan kholkar sunlo, kunware hum bhi nahi.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Bhaiswa ko kyun layi ho Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Mayawati came to Lallu’s house with a goat.

Lallu: Bhaiswa ko kyon layi ho?
Maya: Dikhta nahin goatwa hai?
Lallu: Hum goatwa se hi to pooch raha hoon.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Ladkiyo ko SMS Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Khuda kare mobile tera kho jaye

Mile mujhe aur mera ho jaye
Ladkiyo ko SMS karu tere naam par
Maar tujhe mile aur kaleja thanda mera ho jaye

Updated: 20/10/2006
Shaane log SMS kar raele hai Send This SMS Free on Mobile
Kya mast air chal raele hai
cow log grass eat kar raele hai
dog log bark bark kar raele hai
Shaane log SMS kar raele hai
DHAKKAN log SMS padh raele hai.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Salary meri ho Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Ansoon tere nikle aur ankhein meri ho

dil tera dhadke aur dhadkane meri ho
khuda kare hamari dosti itni gehri ho
ki naukri tum karo aur salary meri ho…

Updated: 20/10/2006
Ande tamatar Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Aye dost tu bhi likha kar shayri…

Meri tarah tera bhi naam ho jayega,
log fekenge ande tamatar,
To raat ki sabji ka intezaam ho jayega

Updated: 20/10/2006
Santa & Banta Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Santa & banta sit in a coffee house…

1st: “Jaldi pee yaar, coffee thandi ho jayegi”
2nd: To kya?
1st: Arre Bevkoof, menu card padha!!!
HOT COFFEE Rs.20/- & COLD COFFEE Rs.40/-

Updated: 20/10/2006
Sardarji & Librarian Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Sardarji goes to the library and slams the book on the table and complains, “Too many
characters no story”

Librarian, “So u are the idiot who took the telephone directory”
Updated: 20/10/2006
Zehar hai ki pyar ….. Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Two snakes sitting in the jungle,

Female snake tried to kiss the male snake,
Suddenly male snake turned and started singing:
“zehar hai ki pyar hai tera chumma !”

Updated: 20/10/2006
Saala chakkar kya hai! Send This SMS Free on Mobile

When U feel that nobody loves U

nobody cares 4 u
& everyone is ignoring U,n hating U,
U should ask Urself..
Saala Chakkar kya hai!

Updated: 20/10/2006
SMS ka khatra Send This SMS Free on Mobile
Pathar se dosti, Jaan ko khatra.
Pathan se dosti, Demag ko khatra.
Daru se dosti, Liver ko khatra.

Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons.
One day a pigeon reaches Banta without message.
Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call

Updated: 20/10/2006
Check sugar level regularly Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Saqib enters kitchen and opens the sugar box. Sees inside and closes it.

Wife observes the whole episode. Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks
Why are you doing this?

Saqib replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly.

Updated: 20/10/2006
You’ve always been a headache! Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death,

my feelings 4 u have never changed.
For me, you’ve always been a headache!

Updated: 20/10/2006
Mere papa bahut darpok hain Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Santa child - mere papa bahut darpok hain.

Banta child - how?
Santa child - jab bhi road cross karten hain, meri ungli pakad lete hain !

Updated: 20/10/2006
Tum kya kisi bhoot se kam ho Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Aahat si koi aaye to lagta hai ki tum ho,

Saya sa koi lehraye to lagta hai ki tum ho,
Ab tumhi batao tum kya kisi bhoot se kam ho

Updated: 20/10/2006
If ever in your life u r very sad Send This SMS Free on Mobile

If ever in your life u r very sad n feel that u have lost everything,
I’ll come, hold ur hand,
take u 4 walk on a bridge and show u where 2 jump from.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Paise bachane ke bhi had hote hain Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Sitam dhaane ke bhi had hote hain

pass naa aane ke bhi had hote hain
rooth jaane ke bhi had hote hain
ek sms to kardiya karo
paise bachane ke bhi had hote hain

Updated: 20/10/2006
Message pe message bhejte ho Send This SMS Free on Mobile
Message pe message bhejte ho,
bhej bhej ke bheja kharab karte ho,
bhejte ho toh bhi kya bhejte ho,
khud ka bheja to chalta nahi dosron ka bheja hua bhejte ho!!

Updated: 20/10/2006
Meri chai thandi ho jaati hai Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Hi Good Morning!
Arz hai,
Chai ke cup se uthte dhuein mein teri shakl nazar aati hai,
Tere khyalon mein kho kar aksar meri chai thandi ho jaati hai.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Which is more important to us? Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Teacher : “Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?”

Pupil : “The moon”.
Teacher : “Why?”
Pupil : “The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only
in the day time when we don’t need it”.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Machhar ne aap ko kata Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Machhar ne aap ko kata,

Yeh us ka junoon tha,
Aap ne khujli ki,
Aap ka sukoon tha,
Phir bhi aap ne usko nahin mara,
Kyun kay us ki ragoon mein aap ka khun tha.

Updated: 20/10/2006
A message to god Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Dear God,

Thank u for making me healthy.

Can u also make me sexy?
If u can’t make me sexy,
plz make all my friends fat and ugly.
Updated: 20/10/2006
Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi,

Ek kami thi vo bhi puri ho gayi,
Pagal hain vo log jo kehte hain ki,
Chimpanzi ki aakhri nasal kahin kho gayi!

Updated: 20/10/2006
Ghanti bajayenge aur bhaag jayenge Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Tere dwar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge,

tere dwar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge,
ghanti bajayenge aur bhaag jayenge

Updated: 20/10/2006
An apple a day Send This SMS Free on Mobile

An apple a day keeps the doctor away,

but if doctor is cute,
forget the fruit.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Humhe neend bahut aati hai Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Log kehte hai pyar mein neend nahi aati

are koi hamse bhi pyar kar lo
humhe neend bahut aati hai

Updated: 20/10/2006
Dost me aap jaisa Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Phulon se khoobsurat koi nahi.

Sagar se gahara koi nahi.
Aab aapki kya taarif karu.
Dost me aap jaisa
Nalayak koi nahi!

Updated: 20/10/2006
Woh to aaj bhi hamein dekh kar.. Send This SMS Free on Mobile
Woh to aaj bhi hamein dekh kar muskurate hain
Par unke bachche bade kameene hain
Jo hamein mama, mama kah kar bulate hain

Updated: 20/10/2006
Why we send funny sms? Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Sometimes we wonder why friends keep sending funny sms to us without writing a word,
maybe this could explain:

When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do - you send
funny sms.

When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep in contact, you send funny sms.

When you have something to say, but don’t know what, and don’t know how, you send
funny sms.

To let you know that: you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still
loved, you are still cared for, you are still wanted, guess what you get? A funny sms from
me.

So my friend the next time you get a funny sms, don’t think that I have just sent you a
funny sms, but that…

I Have Thought of You Today!

Send this to your friends and let them know you are always thinking about them and
don’t forget to send it back to your friend who sent it to you … Let them know you’re
thinking about them too!

Updated: 20/10/2006
Who let the dogs out Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Kal jab rasthe pe ja raha tha toh tumko dekha

aur socha tum gharse mat niklo, tum ghar se mat niklo,
Agar Nikal gayi to yeh bedard zamana kahegi
Who let the dogs out…who who who

Hum se dosti, raat be raat SMS ka khatra.

Wife- I will die.
Husband- I will also die.
Wife- Why do you want to die?
husband- b’coz mein itni khushi bardasht nahi kar sakta!

Updated: 20/10/2006
Abe buddhu chhatri pakadke dal na!. Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Sardar ke bagiche me bahut sare ped the,

Sardar naukar ko bola ped ko pani dal.
Naukar bola saab barish aah raha hai,
Sardar: abe budhu chhatri pakadke dal na!.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Humhare yahan shaddi e-mail .. Send This SMS Free on Mobile

American gora bola - humhare yahan shaddi e-mail se bhi hoti hai.
Sardar - kamal hai, humhare yahan toh female se hoti hai! .

Updated: 20/10/2006
Mom & Son Send This SMS Free on Mobile

One Early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.
MOM: “Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school.”
SON: “But why, Mama? I don’t want to go to school.”
MOM: “Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go to school.”
SON: “One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me.”
MOM: “Oh! that’s not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school.”
SON: “Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?”
MOM: “One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of
the school.”
Heee….eee…e.e..e.e..e

Updated: 20/10/2006
Machhar hai maroo Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Look Here
Bhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnn,
Look There
BBhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnn,
Look Upward
BBBhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeennnnnnnnnn,
Look Downward
Bhhhhhhhheeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnn,
Yaar idhar udhar kiya dekh rahe hoo machhar hai maroo

Updated: 20/10/2006
Sardar’s honeymoon Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Sardar 1: I’m very kanjoos, I went 2 honeymoon alone & saved 1/2 money.
Sardar 2: You r nothing I saved all my money, my friend was going & I sent my wife with
him

Updated: 20/10/2006
Sardar’s english language Send This SMS Free on Mobile

A sardar learning english introduces his family in the party:

Hi! I am sardar,
this is my sardarni,
he is my kid,
& she is my kidney.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Pledge of boys Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Pledge Of Boys:
India is my nation,
girls r my destination,
dating is my occupation,
flirting is my profession,
what the hell is this education?

Updated: 20/10/2006
Saali baap ko le aayi Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Ram ne dhanush toda, sita chali aayi.

Krishna ne bansi bajayi, radha bhag ke aayi.
aur humne sirf seeti bajayi, saali baap ko le aayi.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Mazaaak kyon kartey ho? Send This SMS Free on Mobile
Teacher: U have 2 score 90 % marks
Student: I will score 100 % marks
Teacher: Mazaaak kyon kartey ho?
Student : Suroo kisney kiya?

Updated: 20/10/2006
Sardar’s exam and fighting Send This SMS Free on Mobile

2 sardars were fighting after exam.

Sir: Y r u fighting?
1 Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?
1 Sardar: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.

Updated: 20/10/2006
To kya hoga achievement Send This SMS Free on Mobile

SAMUNDAR jitna PROJECT,

NADI jitni EFFORT,
BALTI jitna ESTIMATE,
DABBEY jitni SALARY,
CHULLU jitna INCREMENT,
To kya hoga ACHIEVEMENT

Updated: 20/10/2006
Do mendak … Send This SMS Free on Mobile

DO MENDAK:
pehla bola “tar”
dusra bola “tar”
pehla bola “tar”
dusra bola “tar”
pehla bola “tar tar”
dusra bola “sale topic mat change kar”

Updated: 20/10/2006
Our car only starts with petrol Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Rajiv: “What sort of a car has your dad got?”

Amit: “I can’t remember the name. I think it starts with T.”
Rajiv: “Really - Ours only starts with petrol.”
Updated: 20/10/2006
Somebody is going to get a spanking Send This SMS Free on Mobile

A little boy wasn’t getting good marks in school.

One day he tapped his teacher on the shoulder and said, “I don’t want to scare you, but
my daddy says if I don’t get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking.”

Updated: 20/10/2006
How to keep our heart clean? Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Neha: We should use soap to keep our body clean.

What should we do to keep our heart clean?
Mona: I don’t know. Probably we must eat the soap.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Mumbai, capital of India? Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Robin: Oh God! Please make Mumbai the capital of India

Mother: But why son?
Robin: Because that’s what I wrote in my test paper

Updated: 20/10/2006
What is far? Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Teacher: Ramu,what is far moon or Mumbai?

Ramu: Mumbai, because we can see moon, but we cannot see Mumbai.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Choice for dinner Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Wife: Do you want dinner?

Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.

Updated: 20/10/2006
What’s the meaning of a school? Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Teacher: What’s the meaning of a school?

Ritesh: A school is a place where father pays and the child plays!
Raj: What is your baby brother name
Raju: I dont know he can’t talk yet

Updated: 20/10/2006
Your head is growing through your hair Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Son: “Dad, are you getting taller?”

Dad: “No, why do you ask?”
Son: “Because your head is growing through your hair!”

Updated: 20/10/2006
Hamara bhi bank balance hota Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Tajmahal ko dekh kar bola, shahjahan ka pota:

Aaj hamara bhi bank balance hota agar dada diwana na hota

Updated: 20/10/2006
Ham dekhte hain: TOM AND JERRY Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Dil mei basa hai pyaar tera,

Aankho mei basi hai tasavir teri,
Jab bhi aati hai yaad teri,
Ham dekhte hai: TOM AND JERRY.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Don’t play with my life Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Try 2 understand n don’t disturb me more.

Leave me alone.
Last night I didn’t sleep thinking of u.
So don’t play with my life.
- Sardar says 2 mosquito.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Itna kyon darate ho Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Lab khamosh johate hain jab tum samne aate ho,

Dil dhadkta hai jab nigahe milate ho,
Saans rukti hai jab tum muskarate ho,
Dil kamjor hai mera,
Itna kyon darate ho?

Updated: 20/10/2006
Satyug aane wala hai Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Hitler raha nahi,

Saddam pakda gaya,
Bin Laden ka thikana nahi,
Veerapppan mara gaya,
Aap bhi dikhte nahin,
Lagta hai dharti par satyug aane wala hai

Updated: 20/10/2006
Hey krishna tu is kalyug me aa ke to dikha … Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Hey Krishna tu is kalyug me aake to dikha …

Tune 18 saal ki umar me mama kans ko mara, Bin Laden ko hath laga ke to dikha.

Tune pura parvat ek ungli pe uthaya, mere gym me aake ek dumbell utha k to dikha.

Tune bhari mehfil mein draupadi ko saree pehnai, Bipasa ko ek jodi kapde pehna ke to
dikha.

Tune gokul k 1600 gopia sath me rakhi, mere college ki ek ladki pata k to dikha.

Hey krishna tu is kalyug me aa k to dikha

Updated: 20/10/2006
Mujhe itna handsome kyun banaya? Send This SMS Free on Mobile

John: Hey bhagwan mujhe itna handsome kyun banaya, jhahan bhi jata hun ladkiya
pareshan karti hai.

Bhajwan: Agar tu itna pareshan hai to (your name) kitna pareshan hoga.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Kripya dhyan de Send This SMS Free on Mobile
Kripya dhyan de …
..
..
..
..
..
Dhyan dene ke liye shukriya. Ab apna kaam karo.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Murgi ki paheli Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Ek murgi aur uske teen bache road cross kar rahe the.

Road cross karne ke baad murgi ke ek bache ne kaha, “Aakhir hum paanchon ne road
cross karliya”.

Paanch kaise?
..
..
..
..
..
Socho Socho …
..
..
..
..
..
Kaise Hua?
..
..
..
..
..
Aur Jara Socho
..
..
..
..
..
Are bacha hai, kuchh bhi bol sakta hai.
Updated: 20/10/2006
Mere jaise ladke ko kya chahiye Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Mere jaise ladke ko kya chahiye?

1 Ladki jo pyar de.
1 Ladki jo achha khana banaye.
1 Ladki jo paisa kamaye.
Aur aisa nasib ke tino ladkiyan ek dusre se mil na paaye.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Tumhare jaisa dost khone na denge Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Tumhari yaad dil se jaane na denge,

Tumhare jaisa dost khone na denge,
Sharafat se contact me rehena,
Varna bahut marenge aur rone na denge

Updated: 20/10/2006
Hum apne underwear sukhaate hain Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Jaani… Jin toofanon mein logon ke aashiyane udd jaate hain, Unn toofanon mein hum
apne underwear sukhaate hain

Updated: 20/10/2006
Student’s problem Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Samunder bhar syllabus hain,

Nadi bhar padh pate hain,
Balti bhar yaad reheta hain,
Mug bhar likh pate hain,
Chullu bhar number aate hain,
Aur usimein doob kar mar jaate hain

Updated: 20/10/2006
Yeh mujhey SMS nahin karta Send This SMS Free on Mobile

ALLAH ke naam pe,

MAULA ke naam pe,
Tere biwi bachon ke naam pe,
Koi mere is SMS padhne wale dost ko paisa dedo,
Yeh mujhey SMS nahin karta
Updated: 20/10/2006
System of love Send This SMS Free on Mobile

System of love:

Jan - Rose
Feb - Propose
Mar - Gift
April - Lift
May - Chating
June - Dating
July - Kiss
Aug - Miss
Sep - Drop
Oct - Escape
Nov - Rest
Dec - Next

Updated: 20/10/2006
Mujhe wife ko sister kehna pad raha he Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Arz kiya hai-

Hun mein doctor jahan,
Meri wife hai nurse wahan.
Ye kaisa julm sehana pad raha he,
Mujhe wife ko sister kehna pad raha he.

Updated: 20/10/2006
SMS padhte hi miss call kijiyega Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Aap agar PAGAL ho to SMS padhte hi miss call kijiyega,

MAHA PAGAL ho to SMS kijiyega,
BEVKUF ho to call kijiyega.
Aur agar teeno ho to chup rahiyega…

Updated: 20/10/2006
Main sadhu kyun banta? Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Ek admi sadhu se bola, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
Sadhu bola, saale upaay hota to mai sadhu kyun banta?
Kya aap Close Up karte hain? Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Kya aap Close Up karte hain?

Kya aap Confidence se Chalte hain?
Kya aap Penalty Bharte hain?
“MOBILE” k bill se darte hain?
To aap SMS kyun nahi karte hain?

Updated: 20/10/2006
Sab kitne chhote-chhote, pyare-pyare hote haina Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Suwar ke bachhe!
Ullu ke patthe!
Kutte ke pille!
Gadhe ki aulaad!
Bhains ke bachhde!
Bakri ke memne…

Updated: 20/10/2006
SMS karke paap karta hun Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Mandir mein jap karta hun,

Masjid mein addab karta hun,
Insaan se kabhi bhagwan na ban jaun,
Isliye roj tumko SMS karke paap karta Hun.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Bijali chaligayi Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Jis se pyar kiya vo Delhi chaligayi,

Jis se shaadi karna chaha vo Italy chaligayi,
Kambakath jina bhi kya jina hain,
Marne gaya to bijali chaligayi.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Chudel keh rahe ho? Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Wife: Jab tum lassi pite ho, to mujhe Paro kehte ho.
Jab whiskey peete ho to mujhe Darling kehte ho.
Aaj kya piya hai, jo CHUDEL keh rahe ho?
Husband: Aaj mein pura hosh-o-hawaas mein hun

Updated: 20/10/2006
Lifebuoy Hai Jahan Tanduriste Hai Wahan Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Me Yahan Woh Wahan,

Me Yahan Woh Wahan,
Are Woh Woh Too Boliye ,
Lifebuoy Hai Jahan Tanduriste Hai Wahan.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Kal balance ho na ho Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Aaj ek zindagi aur jee lo,

Aaj ek sapna aur dekh lo,
Aaj thori khushi aur bant lo,
Aaj ek sms aur kar lo,
Aaj bas aaj, kya pata kal balance ho na ho.

Updated: 20/10/2006
When I call you Send This SMS Free on Mobile

When I call you:

1 ring means - I’m missing u,
2 ring means - I like u,
3 ring means - I’m thinking of u,
4 ring means - I need u,
5 ring means - Idiot phone utha.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Difference between watch & wife Send This SMS Free on Mobile

What is difference between watch & wife?

Ans- Ek bigarti hai toh bandh ho jati hai aur Dusri bigarti hae tu Challu ho jati hai!

Updated: 20/10/2006
Gam woh cheez hai Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Gam woh cheez hai

Gam woh cheez hai
Gam woh cheez hai
Jisse kagaz chipkaye jaate hain

Updated: 20/10/2006
Utrega kaise? Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Khud ko kar buland itna

Key Himalay ki choti pe jaa pahunche
Aur Log tujh say puchhe
Abe gadhe, ab utrega kaise

Updated: 20/10/2006
100-100 ke note bichhata hoon Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Woh jab chalti hai to raahon main 100-100 ke note bichhata hoon
Woh chaali jati hai tab uthaa leta hoon

Updated: 20/10/2006
Garmi ki shuruwat… Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Din ko chain nahin,

Raat ko aaram nahin,
Jee na lage kahin,
Ae-khuda, kya yahi pyar hai?
..

Updated: 20/10/2006
Dekha kisi aur ke sath Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Humne bhi pyar kiya tha zindgi main, badi joshh ke sath
Humne bhi pyar kiya tha zindgi main, badi shhor ke sath
Ab hum pyar karenge badi soch ke sath
Kyon ki usey kal shamko dekha kisi aur ke sath

Updated: 20/10/2006
Aaj bhi mera dost nahi nahaya Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Tez hawa ka jhoka aaya

Sath mein tera khushbhu laya
Tab mere dil mein khayal aaya
Aaj bhi mera dost nahi nahaya
Updated: 20/10/2006
Ishq main kitne ghar lut gaye yaroo Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Ishq main kitne ghar lut gaye yaroo

Ishq main kitne ghar lut gaye yaroo

Ishq main 15, 20 ghar luit gaye yaroo

Updated: 20/10/2006
Bhagwan sanker k gale me naag Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Biwi ne bade pyar se pati ki gale mein baahein dali, aur puchha - kaisa lag raha hai?
Pati bola: Jaise bhagwan sanker k gale me naag.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Maine tujhe dekha Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Maine tujhe dekha

Dekhta raha, Dekhta hi gaya
Phir mujhe chashma lag gaya

Updated: 20/10/2006
A girl on the cover Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?

Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Taste the thunder? Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Zor ki baarish Makes me wonder

Is this what they call, taste the thunder?

Hum dua karte hain khuda se,

Ki wo aap jaisa dost aur na banaye,
Ek CARTOON jaisi cheez hai humare paas,
Kahin wo bhi common na ho jaye
Updated: 20/10/2006
Girl makes him stupid in 2 mins Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Mother makes her son Intelligent in 20 yrs,

but a Girl makes him Stupid in 2 mins.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Sidhe upar chale aana! Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Mere marne ke baad mere doston,

Yun aansoo na bahana,
Agar meri yaad aaye to,
Sidhe upar chale aana!

Updated: 20/10/2006
I press the bell but no one comes out Send This SMS Free on Mobile

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.

Santa doesn’t turns up for four days.
Lady calls again,
Santa replies: I’m coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out

Updated: 20/10/2006
Ladki aisi paheli hai Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Ladki aisi paheli hai,

Kabhi tere toh kabhi meri saheli hai,
Kharcha karo toh bole: “DARLING I LOVE U”.
Na karo toh bole: “BROTHER HOW R U ?”

Updated: 20/10/2006
Aaj Light Khana hai! Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Q:Why Santa is standing below the Tube light with an open mouth.

A: Because Doctor has advised him: ‘Aaj Light Khana hai!’

Updated: 20/10/2006
A chinese question: Send This SMS Free on Mobile

A chinese pair Mr and Miss Hua, got twins without getting married. What did they name
them?

Ans:
Jo Hua, So Hua.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Jahan dard vahan Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Jahan dosti vahan pyar,

Jahan pyar vahan ishq,
Jahan ishq vahan judai,
Jahan judai vahan dard,
Jahan dard vahan jandu balm,
Jandu balm lagao aur chup kar ke so jao
Good Night

Updated: 20/10/2006
Pizza hut ka opposite Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Question: “Pizza Hut” ka opposite kya hota hai?

-
-
-
-
-
Answer: Pizza hatna mat

Updated: 20/10/2006
Pizza hut ka opposite Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Question: “Pizza Hut” ka opposite kya hota hai?

-
-
-
-
-
Answer: Pizza hatna mat
Updated: 20/10/2006
Oye! higher studies yaar Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Pathan sitting on the top of the mountain and studying.

When a person asked what he was doing?
He replied, Oye! higher studies yaar.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Difference between watch & wife Send This SMS Free on Mobile

What is difference between watch & wife?

Ans- Ek bigarti hai toh bandh ho jati hai aur Dusri bigarti hae tu Challu ho jati hai!

Updated: 20/10/2006
Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho? Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?

Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas
karne aya hai

Updated: 20/10/2006
Agar zindagi main kuch kar dikhana hai Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Agar zindagi main kuch kar dikhana hai to

kuch aisa karo ki jis shaher, jis gali,
jis mod se guzro wahan ke
har ghar se awaaz aaye,
Papa aa gaye, Papa aa gaye!

Updated: 20/10/2006
Itne kam marks Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.

Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai

Updated: 20/10/2006
Tum kya jano gum kya hota hai Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Tum kya jano gum kya hota hai.

tumne gum ko kab jana hai.
tum to gum se bekhabar ho.
tumne to hamesha fevicol use kiya hai.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.

Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya

Updated: 20/10/2006
Mayawati & Laalu Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Mayawati came to Lallu’s house with a goat.

Laalu: Bhaiswa ko kyon layi ho?
Maya: Dikhta nahin goatwa hai?
Laalu: Hum goatwa se hi to pooch raha hoon.

Updated: 20/10/2006
I kiss my wife everyday. Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave

Updated: 20/10/2006
Itni khushi bardasht nahi kar sakta Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Wife- i will die.

Husband- i will also die.
Wife- Why do you want 2 die?
husband- bcoz mein itni khushi bardasht nahi kar sakta

Banta asked Santa: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Santa: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Men always have better friends Send This SMS Free on Mobile
Men always have better friends… They will stand by you, no matter what!

Friends of Women:
A wife was not at home for a whole night. So she tells her husband, the very next
morning, that she stayed at her (girl) friend’s apartment overnight. So the husband calls
10 of her best (girl) friends and none of them confirm that she was with them.

Friends of Men:
A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning,
that he stayed at his friend’s apartment over night. So the wife calls 10 of his best friends
and 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartments that night and another 5 are
claiming that he is still with them.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Dost me aap jaisa… Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Phulon se khoobsurat koi nahi

Sagar se gahara koi nahi
Ab aapki kya tarif karu
Dost me aap jaisa
Nalayak koi nahi!

Updated: 20/10/2006
He saw them without problems Send This SMS Free on Mobile

God saw ur parents hungry, He created “Pizzas”

God saw they are thirsty he created, “Pepsi”
He saw them walking he created, “Car”
He saw them without problems, “He created u”.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Sorry recharge khattam ho gaya Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Sorry recharge khatam ho gaya.

Galfriend ko I luv u bolna hai aur recharge khatam. Ab kya kare?

Mein batata hoon kya karein. Theke pe jao, quarter lo, 4 peg maro aur gf k ghar k bahar
khade ho k jor se chilaao, “I Luv U”

Kabootar mehenga pad jaayega. Rum ka Paua ab sirf 10 Rs mein

Updated: 20/10/2006
Kal hi woh hum se jannat main takra gaee Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Kal hi woh hum se jannat main takra gaee

Kal hi woh hum se jannat main takra gaee

Humare dil se dua nikli:

“Dur fite munh tusi ithe v aa gaee”

Updated: 20/10/2006
Tu mere dil mein aise samaayi hai Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Tu mere dil mein aise samaayi hai

Jaise baajre ke khet mein bhains ghus aayi hai

Updated: 20/10/2006
Naha ke chal diye Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Maine tumhare yadon mein ro ro ke tub bhar diya

Magar tum itne bewafa nikle, ki naha ke chal diye

Updated: 20/10/2006
Majnu Laila ke baal pakad ke bola… Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Majnu Laila ke baal pakad ke bola

Moya kitne din se sar nahin dhoya

Updated: 20/10/2006
Kutte ka cake Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Bolaa dukaan-daar, ke kya chahiye tumhain

Jo bhi kaho ge meri dukaan per wo paoge
maine kahaa ke kutte ke khane ka cake hai
bola yahin pe khaoge ya leke jaoge

Updated: 20/10/2006
Jise dil diya… Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Jise dil diya woh dilli chali gayi

Jise pyar kiya woh italy chali gayi
Dil ne kaha khud khushi kar le zalim
Bijali ko haath lagaya to bijali chali gayi

Updated: 20/10/2006
Similarty between Gandhiji and Malika Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Similarty between Gandhiji and Malika

Dono ne apne kapde tyag diye
Ek ne desh ke liye
Dusre ne deshwasio ke liye

Updated: 20/10/2006
Hazaron ka kya hoga? Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Ladki Boli:
Chandni chaand se hoti hai, sitaron se nahi,
Mohabbat ek se hoti hai, hazaaron se nahi.

Ladka Bola :
Chandni agar chaand se hogi to sitaron ka kya hoga,
Mohabbat agar ek se hogi to hazaron ka kya hoga.

Updated: 20/10/2006
Ek ladki thi diwani si Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Ek ladki thi diwani si, sunder si lambi si,

Nazrein jhukake sharmake galion se guzra karti thi
latak matak chalti thi, aur kaha karti thi,
Bartan Lelo Bartan

Updated: 19/10/2006
When u feel lonely and alone Send This SMS Free on Mobile

When u feel lonely and alone

Can’t see any 1 around u
The world seems to be fading away
Come along wid me
I’ll take u 2 the eye specialist

Updated: 19/10/2006
Brain is a master piece Send This SMS Free on Mobile
Unlike others your brain is a master piece,
It is divided in 2 parts - Left & Right.
In left nothing is Right & in right nothing is Left!

Updated: 19/10/2006
Sahab mujhe dhokha nahin de sakte Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Naukrani: Malkin aap udaas kyon hain?

Malkin: Tumhare sahab apne office ki kisi ladki se pyaar karte hai.
Naukrani: Nahin, sahab mujhe dhokha nahin de sakte.

Updated: 19/10/2006
Aisi jaan ka aur karenge bhi kya Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Sir: Bachcho kasam khao kabhi saraab, cigarette nahi piyoge, non-veg nahi khaoge
Bachche: Nahi karenge sir

Sir: Kahbi ladki nahi chhedoge

Bachche: Theek hai sir

Sir: Jua nahi kheloge

Bachche: OK sir

Sir: Desh k liye jaan bhi de doge

Bachche: De denge sir, aisi jaan ka aur karenge bhi kya

Updated: 19/10/2006
Beautiful Red Underware Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Tutor 2 SANTA: What is ur father’s name?

Santa: “Beautiful Red Underware”
Tutor: R u joking?
Santa: No sir my father’s name is, “Sundar Lal Chadha”

Updated: 19/10/2006
Bachpan se hi kamine ho? Send This SMS Free on Mobile

Itna khubsurat kaise muskura lete ho,

Itna qatil kaise sharma lete ho,
Kitni aasani se jaan le lete ho,
Kisi ne sikhaya hai…ya bachpan se hi kamine ho?