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The Communist Permanent Insurance A scene from Russian History Kerensky: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust...{the events of 1917 get underway as the revolution breaks out. Jacquel quickly tells Nichollo [her son] that he is the next Czar] Jacquel: Nichollo...... Nichollo: Yes, Mother. Jacquel: Since your father and brothers cannot rule, you are the new Czar. Nichollo: Oh, no, Mother. {he is crowned in a fancy ceremony.] Kerensky: Your Majesty, be proud of yourself. Nichollo: Yes, sir. Kerensky: Never mind the people. You are the Czar. Narrator: Jaequel is now the Dowager Empress of Russia. She does not attend the ceremony, but goes to visit Nicholas, now Nicholas Romanov [by which he is known today] to ask about her family. Nicholas: Jacquel, I have to talk to you. Jacquel: Yes, Nicholas. Nicholas: Jacquel, I should have told you earlier: James and Mary Muller are not your real parents. Jacquel: Ha! I never thought they were. Nicholas: None of your cheek. Your parents are Nichollo and Jessica Smirnoff. Jaequel: Good Lord! *Why* do you tell me such Jewish lie? Nicholas: I am not lying. I was there on the night you were born. Your mother named you Hadassah. Jacquel: You mean my mother was raped? Nicholas: Yes. Jacquel: Then who did it? Nicholas: Your father, who was also your grandfather. Jacquel: The bastard! Nicholas: It's true, Jacquel. You are a Jew, born from incest. Jacquel: NO! | am NOT a Jew! I am a Russian! Can't you see? Nicholas: {to himself] Why did I ever tell her? [their conversation is overheard by the other children in the next room.] Peter: Guess what everyone? We're Jews! Catherine: No, we're Russians! Jessica: We are Jews and Russians! Helen: Did you hear Nicholas say your name? Jacqueline: He said Mother's mother's name is Jessica. Jessica: Oh, no! I am named Jessica. Victoria: And I was named for the English Queen, Alexandra's Grandmother. Catherine: Mother named me for Catherine the Great. Peter: I was named for Father. Victoria: And Nichollo was named for a very evil guy! [all laugh] All: Oh, no! [Nichollo comes to the room. He is angry.] Catherine: Here comes Nichollo. Peter: He looks pissed! Nichollo: Stinkers, freeze! Jacqueline: I say we freeze. Victoria: No, we run! [they run out the room. Nichollo goes to the Czar's meeting room, where a very shocked Kerensky is holding a letter.) Kerensky: [bowing] Your Majesty, I would like to present you with this letter. fhe hands Nichollo the letter.] Nichollo: [reading, gasping] Mother? Jacquel: Yes, my son? Nichollo: Mother, Uncle Michael says that he's gonna kill us if we don't give him the throne! Jacquel: What? Oh my God! I knew that stupid boy was up to something! Kerensky: Oh Hassie! And I thought you were so *wise*! Jacquel: When I talk to Nicholas, I will tell him what I think really of his brother...{she stops and looks out the window] and has anyone ever noticed that building over there before? [Jacquel, Nichollo, and Kerensky look out the window, where they see a building slide next to theirs.) All: Gulp. What? Good Lord! (crash. exciting music turns on.] Jacquel: It's the Communist Permanent Insurance! Communist Permanent Insurance Pirate: Aaaaah! [crashes into window.] Grrr. Jacquel: Run for it! [They all run out the room.] Broadcaster: We hate to interrupt this broadcast due to the unexpected attack on the Czar by the Communist Permanent Insurance. Unluckily, everyone had prepared themselves for this, but Nichollo, due to pressure, gives the throne to Michael. but Michael refused and so, after over 300 years of Romanov rule, the Russian Empire falls! [*erash.* BOOM!] Thank you. ‘The Communist Permanent Insurance Announcer: [very dramatic] The Communist Permanent Insurance Director: CUTS! Let's do that again! frewinds tape to when Jacquel gets worried] And action! Jacquel: When I talk to Nicholas, I will tell him what I think really of his brother...[she stops and looks out the window] and has anyone ever noticed that building over there before? [Jacquel, Nichollo, and Kerensky look out the window, where they see a building slide next to theirs] All: Gulp. What? Good Lord! The Communist Permanent Insurance ‘A Tale of Piracy on the High Seas of Politics Moscow, Russia 1917 In the bleak year of 1917, as Russia was reeling under the strain of war and a corrupt government, the Kroger family, leaders of the Communist Permanent Insurance Club--a once prosperous German family who were exiled in 1845--strained under the yolk of the tiny Czar Nichollo...pushed beyond the limits of the era and angry at the leaders--the young men Lars and Emil Kroger took their destiny into their own hands and-MUTINY! And so, the Communist Permanent Insurance was launched upon the high seas of international politics! ‘There it lay, the prize they wanted--the young Dowager Empress Jacquel and her young son Czar Nichollo--who the Krogers hated. The government, they say, was filled with smart men, good thinkers, and fat bloated wise officials. Hidden beneath the faceless towering canyons of palaces, the world of high polities sat smug and happy as their future, like their past, slipped quietly in the streets~returning to wreak some disastrous havoc. Adopting, adapting, and improving traditional government, the Communist Permanent Insurance put into motion a_ totally unsuspected Take Over Bid. ‘And so, happy with their success, the violent young men of the Communist Permanent Insurance fought on and on...until the sun set in the west, the results of the political war were very grim...the once proud leaders of the world lay battered, their families and countries ruined--their policies stolen. [Pirates sing] Its fun to chart a revolution and sail the wide Monarchy, to find explore the works off shore and skirt the shoals of rivalry. It can mainly agree with the Cear: Well up the government annually. Its all conductible, we're very incorruptible, and we're sailing the wide Monarchy! ‘And so...they sailed off into the ledgers of history--one by one the democratic capitals of the world fell to communism--or so it would have been...if a greater force will overpower the communists, and the date-- it I can see it--if certain modern theories concerning the fate of communism--when communism would prove _itself...disastrously wrong,