Documenti di Didattica
Documenti di Professioni
Documenti di Cultura
com
The following list of one-liner restaurant "reviews" are directly quoted from restaurant customers quoted on
Zagat.com. These are actual restaurant reviews, none are made up. Individually, many of these are
pretty funny. Collectively, they're hilarious. (My personal favorites are highlighted in bold). I actually started
putting this article together over a year ago, and it’s a good job I researched them when I did as Zagat.com is
now a paid subscription only service.
“Proof that there’s no shortage of people who want to eat bad food in historic
buildings.”
“Quail with figs had exactly one fig. When asked for more, the waiter replied there's one fig per customer!”
“The maitre d' made us wait to be seated, apparently for no other reason than because he
could.”
“Primary attraction was the small wildlife wandering across the table.”
“The chef keeps renaming and relocating the restaurant like it’s a member of
the Federal Witness Protection Program.”
“Take a look at the staff on the way in – that’s the last you’ll see
of them.”
“Other than having gone to hell in a hand basket, everything is just like it
was before the sale.”
“The waiter took my order, went outside to smoke and then waved
through the window.”
“Could someone do something about the uniforms? 1982 just called and it wants its
suspenders back.”
“We could have lived without knowing that our waiter was 'Steven from Long
Beach.”
“Our waiter was very unattractive, and this being LA, I have to downgrade the Decor rating.”
“They make you walk around with a horse stick and blow a whistle. That'll teach you to tell someone it's
your birthday.”
“It seems that the owner, the chef and I have lost interest.”
“My office comes here for special lunches, but I wish they'd stop.”
“The food may have been excellent, but I was choking on the prices.”
“The only thing healthy about the place is the exit door.”
“Who said it was ok to expose your chest hair while serving people their
sandwiches and frozen yogurt?”
“The No. 1 spot in town for crooked pharma reps to stuff fat doctors full of $50 steaks.”
“Once you drive through ax-murderer country to get here you are pleasantly surprised by all the people and
the buzz.”
“It’s hard to tell where the food stops and the Styrofoam containers begin.”
“Saves fuel bills – the heartburn will keep you warm all winter.”
“Duck must have had a long flight – tired, tough and took 90 minutes to arrive.”
“Have yet to learn that heat is an integral part of the cooking process.”
“For the price, the lobster should have come via overnight express, not
pony express.”
“Breaking bread' should not mean you have to use the side of the table.”
“Should shut down the restaurant and just serve the view.”