Copyright American Psychological Association. Not for further distribution.

16
An Attachment Perspective
on Coping With Existential
Concerns
Phillip R. Shaver and Mario Mikulincer

In recent years, attachment theory (e.g., Bowlby, 1973, 1980, 1982,

1988), which was originally formulated to describe and explain infantparent
emotional bonding, has been applied first to the study of adolescent and adult
romantic relationships and then to the study of group dynamics and intergroup
relationships. To distinguish this elaborated version of the theory, which now
has hundreds of studies supporting it, from the original child-oriented theory,
we use the term adult attachment theory (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007a). In the
present chapter, we extend the theory further to apply it to the ways in which
people experience and cope with the existential concerns addressed in this
volume: mortality, meaninglessness, isolation, and lack of freedom. Our
main idea is that attachment securitya felt sense, rooted in ones history of
close relationships, that the world is generally safe, other people are generally
helpful when called on, and I, as a unique individual, am valuable and lovable,
thanks to being valued and loved by othersprovides a psychological foundation for easing existential anxieties and constructing an authentic sense of
continuity, coherence, meaning, connectedness, and autonomy.
We begin by presenting an overview of attachment theory and our
theoretical model of the activation and psychodynamics of the attachment

291
http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/13748-016
Meaning, Mortality, and Choice: The Social Psychology of Existential Concerns,
edited by P. R. Shaver and M. Mikulincer
Copyright 2012 American Psychological Association. All rights reserved.

Copyright American Psychological Association. Not for further distribution.

behavioral system in adulthood (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007a). We then

apply this model to ways of coping with existential concerns. We show, on
the basis of empirical studies, that a heightened awareness of existential
concerns (worries about finitude, isolation, meaninglessness, or lack of freedom) automatically activates what Bowlby (e.g., 1973) called the attachment
system. This in turn motivates what he called proximity seekingmoving
toward actual others or mental representations of them to bolster feelings of
safety and security and thereby reduce existential anxiety. We review studies
showing that the availability of a loving and supportive external or internalized attachment figure and the resulting sense of security are effective antidotes to the four major existential threats. Along the way, we explain how
individual differences in attachment-system functioning shape the ways in
which people experience, think about, and cope with existential concerns.
Overview of Adult Attachment Theory
The main construct in Bowlbys (1982) attachment theory is the
attachment behavioral system, an innate psychobiological system that motivates people to seek proximity to supportive others (attachment figures) in
times of need. Although the attachment system is most crucial in the early
years of life, because of human infants extreme immaturity and dependence on others, Bowlby (1988) claimed that it is active throughout life
and is manifested in thoughts and behaviors related to proximity- and
support-seeking and in the resulting sense of security. This idea has now
been bolstered by neuropsychological research (summarized by Coan, 2008)
indicating that the human brain evolved to function within the context of
social relationships.
According to Bowlby (1973), whose ideas were operationalized in landmark studies by Ainsworth and her colleagues (Ainsworth, Blehar, Waters,
& Wall, 1978), although all human beings are born with a capacity to seek
proximity, safety, and help with the regulation of negative emotions in times of
need, important individual differences arise in close relationships that affect
psychological and social functioning. When attachment figures are reliably
available if needed, are sensitive to ones attachment needs, and respond
warmly to ones bids for proximity and support, a person feels generally secure
and efficacious and can explore the physical and social environment curiously,
learn diverse skills, develop cognitively and emotionally, and enjoy lifes
challenges, often with other people.
A history of security-enhancing interactions with close others results
in the formation of positive expectations about others availability and generosity, which Bowlby (1973) called internal working models of self and others.
292 shaver and mikulincer

Copyright American Psychological Association. Not for further distribution.

Because a person who is treated well by attachment figures learns to deal

effectively with challenges and stressors, he or she can generally marshal
effective affect-regulation strategies throughout life (Mikulincer & Shaver,
2007a). However, when attachment figures are not reliably available and
supportive, a sense of security is not attained, doubts about ones lovability
and worries about others motives and intentions are formed, and strategies
of affect regulation other than confident proximity seeking and effective selfregulation are adopted.
In studies of adolescents and adults, tests of these propositions from
attachment theory have focused on a persons attachment orientationthe
systematic pattern of relational expectations, emotions, and behavior that
results from a particular history of attachment experiences (Fraley & Shaver,
2000). Beginning with Ainsworth et al.s (1978) studies of infant attachment,
and followed by hundreds of studies of adult attachment, researchers have
found that attachment orientations can be measured along two orthogonal
dimensions of attachment-related anxiety and avoidance (Brennan, Clark,
& Shaver, 1998). Attachment anxiety reflects the degree to which a person worries that relationship partners will not be available in times of need
and is afraid of being rejected or abandoned. Attachment-related avoidance
reflects the extent to which a person distrusts relationship partners goodwill
and strives to maintain independence and emotional distance from partners.
People who score low on both dimensions are said to be secure, or secure with
respect to attachment. The two dimensions can be measured with reliable
and valid self-report scales and are associated in theoretically predictable
ways with many aspects of personal well-being and relationship quality
(see Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007a, for a review).
We have proposed that a persons location in the two-dimensional
space defined by attachment anxiety and avoidance reflects both the persons sense of attachment security and the ways in which he or she deals with
threats and stressors (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007a). People who score low on
these dimensions are generally secure and tend to use constructive and effective affect-regulation strategies. In contrast, people who score high on either
attachment anxiety or avoidance, or both (a condition called fearful avoidance), suffer from attachment insecurities. Insecure people tend to use secondary attachment strategies that we, following Cassidy and Kobak (1988),
characterize as hyperactivating or deactivating the attachment behavioral
system in an effort to cope with threats.
People who score high on attachment anxiety rely on hyperactivating
strategiesenergetic attempts to achieve proximity, support, and love combined with a lack of confidence that these resources will be provided and with
feelings of sadness or anger when they are in fact not provided. These reactions
occur in relationships in which an attachment figure is sometimes responsive
an attachment perspective

293

Copyright American Psychological Association. Not for further distribution.

but unreliably so, placing the needy person on a partial reinforcement schedule that rewards exaggeration and persistence in proximity-seeking attempts
because these efforts sometimes succeed (Ainsworth et al., 1978). In contrast, people who score high on avoidant attachment tend to use deactivating
strategies: trying not to seek proximity to others when threatened, denying
attachment needs, and avoiding closeness and interdependence in relationships. These strategies develop in relationships with attachment figures who
disapprove of and punish frequent bids for closeness and expressions of need
(Ainsworth et al., 1978).
In short, each attachment strategy has a major regulatory goal (insisting
on proximity to an attachment figure or on self-reliance) that goes along with
particular cognitive and affective processes that facilitate goal attainment.
These strategies affect the formation and maintenance of close relationships
as well as the experience, regulation, and expression of negative emotions,
such as anxiety, anger, or sadness (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007a). Moreover,
the strategies affect the ways in which people experience and cope with
threatening events, including existential threatsthe focus of the following
sections of this chapter.
Attachment Orientations and Coping With
Existential Concerns
We propose that the attachment system was designed, or selected,
by evolution as a regulatory device for dealing with all kinds of stressors and
threats, including existential concerns about annihilation or death, which
Bowlby (1982) discussed in relation to the threat of predation in early humans
environment of adaptation. Because of the way the attachment system is
constructed, external or internal (symbolic) threats to ones sense of continued existence, lifes predictability and meaning, social connectedness,
or freedom and autonomy automatically activate the goal of approaching
an attachment figure and obtaining protection and support. If this strategy
regularly evokes the desired responses from sensitive attachment figures,
a person learns how to cope with existential threats and restore feelings
of safety, continuity, meaning, relatedness, and autonomy. Unfortunately,
unresponsive, unsupportive attachment figures and the attachment insecurities they arouse can leave a person vulnerable to anxieties about mortality, meaninglessness, isolation, and lack of freedom, causing him or her to
adopt less constructive ways of coping with these existential concerns. In
subsequent sections, we review studies of attachment-system activation and
attachment-related individual differences in responses to each of the four
major existential concerns.
294 shaver and mikulincer

Copyright American Psychological Association. Not for further distribution.

Mortality Concerns
As reviewed in several other chapters in this volume (Chapters 1, 3,
4, 5, 6, and 10), awareness of ones mortality is a major cause of existential
anxiety, one that automatically activates psychological defenses. According
to attachment theory, making mortality salient also activates the attachment
system and energizes a persons attempts to attain care, protection, and safety.
This means that a sense of attachment security should be an effective terror
management mechanism that restores a persons sense of value and continuity, rendering other symbolic defenses less necessary. In contrast, lack of
available, responsive, and sensitive attachment figures may cause people to
rely on other forms of defense against death anxiety.
Death Awareness and Attachment-System Activation
In a study of the mental accessibility of attachment-related representations, Mikulincer et al. (2000) found that even preconscious reminders of
death can automatically activate the attachment system. They (Mikulincer
et al., 2000, Study 3) subliminally exposed participants to the word death or a
neutral word for 22 ms in each of several trials and found that words related
to attachment security (e.g., love, hug, closeness) became more available for
processing (as indicated by faster reaction times in a lexical decision task)
following the death prime. The word death had no effect on the mental availability of attachment-unrelated positive or neutral words.
There is also evidence that conscious death reminders cause a person
to think of seeking proximity to a close other (see Mikulincer, Florian, &
Hirschberger, 2003, for a review). For example, experimentally heightened
mortality salience is associated with greater psychological commitment to a
romantic partner (Florian, Mikulincer, & Hirschberger, 2002), a heightened
desire for emotional intimacy with a romantic partner (even if he or she
has recently complained or been critical; Hirschberger, Florian, & Mikulincer, 2003), and a heightened preference for sitting near other people in
a group discussion context, rather than sitting alone, even if this seating
preference exposes ones worldviews to potential attack (Wisman & Koole,
2003), something people often avoid when mortality has been made salient
(see Chapters 3 and 4, this volume).
Attachment-Related Differences in Managing Death Anxiety
Attachment-related individual differences are moderators of the effects
of mortality salience. For example, Mikulincer and Florian (2000) and
Mikulincer, Florian, and Tolmacz (1990) found that attachment security
is associated with lower levels of death-related thoughts and fear of death
an attachment perspective

295

Copyright American Psychological Association. Not for further distribution.

measured by self-report scales, projective tests (narrative responses to Thematic Apperception Test [TAT] cards), and cognitive tasks (completion
of death-related word fragments). In contrast, attachment anxiety is associated with heightened fear of death, as measured by both self-reports and
TAT responses, and with greater accessibility of death-related thoughts even
when no death reminder is present. Attachment-related avoidance is related
to lower self-reported fear of death but with a higher level of death-related
thoughts and anxiety in TAT responses. That is, avoidant individuals tend
to suppress death concerns and exhibit dissociation between their conscious
and unconscious thoughts about death.
Secure and insecure people differ in the way they manage concerns
related to death. Although seeking support for ones cultural worldview
has been considered the normative defense against existential threats (see
Chapter 1, this volume), there is evidence that this response is more characteristic of insecure than of secure individuals. For example, experimentally
induced death reminders produced more severe judgments and punishments
of moral transgressors only among insecurely attached people, whether anxious
or avoidant (Mikulincer & Florian, 2000). People scoring higher on secure
attachment did not recommend harsher punishments for transgressors following a mortality salience manipulation. In contrast, they reacted to mortality salience with heightened proximity seeking, a more intense desire for
intimacy in close relationships (Mikulincer & Florian, 2000), and greater
willingness to engage in social interactions (TaubmanBen-Ari, Findler, &
Mikulincer, 2002). These studies imply that even when mortality is made
salient, secure individuals maintain their sense of security and engage in generally prosocial activities, even if these are partially defensive in nature. In
contrast, defensively hostile, reality-distorting reactions to mortality seem
to result from recurrent failures of attachment figures to accomplish their
protective, supportive, anxiety-buffering functions.
Concerns About Lifes Meaning
The perception of coherence and meaning in life is crucial for maintaining emotional balance (see Chapters 7 and 8,this volume), and people often
react defensively when their sense of meaning is threatened or is shattered
by life circumstances (see Chapters 8, 10, and 11, this volume). From the
standpoint of attachment theory, we would expect threats to ones sense of
meaning, like any other serious threat to ones welfare, to trigger a search for
comfort, love, and reassurance from attachment figures. As a result, the availability of supportive attachment figures, in actuality or in ones mind, and
the resulting sense of attachment security, should contribute to maintaining
a solid sense of lifes coherence, value, and meaning. In contrast, attachment
296 shaver and mikulincer

insecurity should leave a person vulnerable to threats of meaninglessness and

in need of alternative, less constructive ways of creating meaning.

Copyright American Psychological Association. Not for further distribution.

Meaninglessness and Attachment-System Activation

Adult attachment researchers have not focused specifically on meaninglessness and its effects on attachment-system activation. We therefore
conducted a study especially for this chapter to examine in a preliminary way
the influence of meaninglessness on proximity seeking. Sixty Israeli undergraduates (66% women) were randomly assigned to one of three meaningrelated conditions (a procedure based on King, Hicks, & Abdelkhalik, 2009,
Study 3). Participants in a high-meaning condition (n = 20) and a low-meaning
condition (n = 20) wrote a brief essay about how the statement Human
life is purposeful and meaningful could be viewed as either true or untrue,
respectively. Participants in the control condition (n = 20) wrote an essay on
a neutral topic (shopping at a drugstore). Immediately after writing the essay,
participants completed Sharabanys (1994) 32-item Intimacy Scale, assessing
their desire for honesty, spontaneity, and closeness in relationships. We asked
participants to focus on romantic relationships and to rate, on a 7-point scale
ranging from 1 (not at all) to 7 (very much), the extent to which each item
expressed their wishes in this kind of relationship. For each participant, we
computed a total score by averaging the 32 items.
A one-way analysis of variance on the reported desire for intimacy was
significant, F(2, 57) = 6.54, p < .01. Scheff post hoc tests revealed that participants in the low-meaning condition reported a stronger desire for romantic
intimacy (M = 5.68, SD = 1.31) than those in the high-meaning (M = 4.86,
SD = 0.83) and control conditions (M = 4.50, SD = 0.96). No significant difference was found between the latter two conditions. Supporting our hypothesis, raising the specter of lifes possible meaninglessness led to an increased wish
for closeness and intimacythe motivational signature of attachment-system
activation. However, attachment-system activation was assessed only with a
self-report measure rather than with an indicator of automatic, preconscious
activation of the attachment system or observations of actual proximityseeking behavior. Hence, more probing studies are still needed.
Attachment-Related Differences in the Perception of Lifes Meaning
Unfortunately, adult attachment researchers have not yet examined
systematically whether people differing in attachment security also differ in
their perceptions of lifes meaning and in ways of coping with the threat of
meaninglessness. However, there is evidence that feelings of closeness and
social support (which are aspects of felt security) are associated with a heightened sense of lifes meaning (e.g., Hicks & King, 2009; Steger, Kashdan,
an attachment perspective

297

Copyright American Psychological Association. Not for further distribution.

Sullivan, & Lorentz, 2008). Similarly, Lambert et al. (2010) reported that
perceived closeness to family members and support from them was associated
with greater meaning in life among young adults, even when self-esteem, feelings of autonomy and competence, and social desirability were statistically
controlled. Moreover, implicit priming of relational closeness increased the
perception of lifes meaning when participants were in a bad mood (Hicks
& King, 2009). In contrast, experimental manipulations of rejection, social
exclusion, and loneliness (which are related to attachment insecurity) reduce
peoples sense that life is meaningful (e.g., Hicks, Schlegel, & King, 2010;
Stillman et al., 2009; Williams, 2007).
Mikulincer and Shaver (2005) reported a preliminary study that examined the association between attachment insecurities and perception of lifes
meaning. Participants who had previously completed a self-report attachment measure were primed with representations of either a security provider
(thinking about a supportive other) or a person who did not serve attachment functions. They then completed a self-report measure of the extent
to which they perceived the world as understandable and life as making
sense (Antonovsky, 1987). Lower scores on attachment anxiety and avoidance (i.e., greater attachment security) were associated with higher levels of
meaning and coherence in life. Moreover, compared with neutral priming,
security priming increased the sense of meaning and coherence even among
dispositionally insecure participants.
More research is needed on the extent to which attachment security
helps people find meaning in religious faith (see Chapter 8, this volume),
engage in generative activities such as caring for offspring or teaching a new
generation (Chapter 9), or enjoy moments of happiness (Chapter 7). Future
research should determine whether attachment insecurity leaves people
vulnerable to threats of meaninglessness; causes them to follow less constructive paths to meaning, such as political terrorism (Chapter 11) or disruptive
religious fundamentalism (Chapter 8); or encourages self-destructive tendencies that may end in suicide (Chapter 18).
Isolation Concerns
Experiences of disapproval, criticism, rejection, betrayal, social exclusion,
separation, loss of significant others, and loneliness can lead to aggression,
social withdrawal, and even suicide (see Chapters 17 and 18, this volume).
According to attachment theory, these kinds of experiences erode felt security
and automatically activate the attachment system and attachment-related
defenses. When sensitive and responsive attachment figures are available, felt
security is heightened, one feels stably connected to others, and the threat
of isolation is removed. In contrast, lack of security-enhancing attachment
298 shaver and mikulincer

figures exacerbates isolation-related concerns, erodes the sense of relatedness,

and leads insecurely attached people to search for other ways of coping with
loneliness and isolation.

Copyright American Psychological Association. Not for further distribution.

The Threat of Isolation and Attachment-System Activation

The idea that the threat of isolation (a relationship partners unavailability, disapproval, criticism, rejection, or betrayal; separation from or the
death of loved ones) is distressing and can activate the attachment system
is one of the central tenets of attachment theory. Observations of infants
who were separated from their mother (e.g., Heinicke & Westheimer, 1966)
convinced Bowlby (1982) that this threat arouses anxiety, anger, protest, and
yearning for proximity, love, and security. An infant, finding itself without
an attentive caregiver, cries, thrashes, attempts to reestablish contact with
the absent figure by calling and searching, and resists other peoples wellintentioned efforts at soothing. Similar reactions are often observed among
adolescents and adults following episodes of rejection, disapproval, or criticism by close relationship partners (e.g., J. Feeney, 2005) or the breakup of a
romantic relationship (e.g., Sbarra & Emery, 2005). In a naturalistic study of
behavioral reactions to separation from a romantic partner in the departure
lounges of an airport, Fraley and Shaver (1998) found that couples who were
separating were more likely than couples who were not separating to seek
and maintain physical contact (e.g., by mutually gazing at each others faces,
talking intently, and touching).
Such activations of the attachment system can be detected even at an
unconscious level. Mikulincer, Gillath, and Shaver (2002) found that, as
compared with subliminal priming with neutral words, subliminal priming
with the word separation produced (a) faster identification in a lexical decision task of names of people whom participants had identified as securityenhancing attachment figures and (b) slower reaction times for naming the
colors in which attachment figures names were presented in a Stroop (colornaming) task. In both cases, fast lexical decisions and slower color naming
indicated heightened activation of mental representations of attachment
figures in response to an implicit separation threat. Priming with the word
separation had no effect on mental representations of people who did not
serve attachment functions.
Attachment-Related Differences in Managing Isolation-Related Threats
Although isolation-related threats automatically activate the attachment
system and motivate most people to restore their sense of security by seeking
contact with attachment figures, attachment insecurities seem to distort
this process and encourage other coping strategies. For example, whereas
an attachment perspective

299

Copyright American Psychological Association. Not for further distribution.

attachment-anxious individuals react to temporary separations from a romantic partner, or to divorce, with excessive rumination, catastrophizing, and
distress, avoidant individuals emotionally, cognitively, and behaviorally distance themselves from their partner and suppress tendencies to vocalize their
distress (e.g., Birnbaum, Orr, Mikulincer, & Florian, 1997; Davis, Shaver, &
Vernon, 2003; J. Feeney, 1998). Similar findings have been obtained in studies
in which mere thoughts of hypothetical or actual separation were aroused
(e.g., Meyer, Olivier, & Roth, 2005).
The distortion of attachment-system activation produced by anxious
attachment was observed by Mikulincer, Florian, Birnbaum, and Malishkevich (2002), who found that anxiously attached people mentally equated
separation with death. Participants were asked to imagine being separated
from a loved partner and then to perform a word completion task that measured accessibility of death-related thoughts. Those who scored higher on
attachment anxiety reacted to separation reminders with more death-related
thoughts. This may help to explain why anxious individuals tend to experience
intense distress following separations.
A conceptually similar pattern of results was reported by Hart, Shaver,
and Goldenberg (2005), who examined defensive reactions to separation and
reminders of death. Undergraduates were asked to think about their own
death, separation from a close relationship partner, or a control theme and
then to report their attitudes toward the writer of a pro-American essay. People who scored relatively high on attachment anxiety rated the pro-American
writer more favorably not only in the death conditionthe typical defensive
reaction to mortality salience (see Chapter 1, this volume)but also in the
separation condition. In other words, anxious individuals exhibited the same
defensive reaction to reminders of death and separation.
In a pair of experimental studies, Fraley and Shaver (1997) asked participants to write about whatever thoughts and feelings they experienced
while also trying not to think about their romantic partner leaving them
for someone else. Anxious individuals were less able to suppress separationrelated thoughts, as indicated by more frequent thoughts of loss following the
suppression task and higher skin conductance during the task. In contrast,
more avoidant people showed less frequent thoughts of loss following the
suppression task and lower skin conductance during the task. Gillath, Bunge,
Shaver, Wendelken, and Mikulincer (2005) documented related differences
in patterns of brain activation (using functional magnetic resonance imaging) when people were thinking about breakups and losses or attempting to
suppress such thoughts.
In a recent laboratory experiment, Cassidy, Shaver, Mikulincer, and Lavy
(2009) examined the ways in which attachment insecurities shape cognitive
and emotional reactions to episodes of rejection, criticism, or betrayal in
300 shaver and mikulincer

Copyright American Psychological Association. Not for further distribution.

close relationships and explored whether security priming could reduce these
reactions. Participants wrote a description of an incident in which a close
relationship partner criticized, disapproved, rejected, or ostracized them.
They then completed a short computerized task in which they were repeatedly exposed subliminally (for 22 ms) to either a security-enhancing prime
word (love, secure, affection) or a neutral prime (lamp, staple, building). Immediately after the priming trials, participants were asked to think again about
the hurtful event they had described and to rate how they would react to
such an event if it happened in the future: how rejected they would feel, how
they would feel about themselves, and how they would react to these events.
In the neutral priming condition, the findings fit well with previous correlational studies of attachment-related differences in response to isolationrelated threats. Avoidance was associated with less negative appraisals of
the relational threat, less intense feelings of rejection, less crying, and more
defensive or hostile reactions; attachment anxiety was associated with more
intense feelings of rejection, more crying, and more negative emotions. These
typical findings were dramatically reduced in size (most approached zero) in
the security-priming condition. In other words, security priming reduced the
tendency of avoidant people to dismiss relational threats and distance themselves from a hurtful partner and the tendency of anxious people to intensify
distress and ruminate.
Concerns About Freedom and Autonomy
As with the other existential threats discussed so far, threats to freedom
and autonomy should activate the attachment system, along with characteristic affect-regulation strategies related to different attachment orientations.
According to attachment theory, the sense of attachment security allows
people to tolerate necessary separations from attachment figures and to use
them, when they are present or held warmly in mind, as secure bases from
which to explore the world, acquire new skills, and eventually operate autonomously with confidence that support will be available if needed. In contrast,
insecurity causes people to adopt either an overly cautious and dependent
stance (in the case of anxiously attached people) or to compulsively pursue
self-reliance (in the case of avoidant people).
Unfortunately, there is little research on attachment-system activation
following actual or imagined threats to the sense of personal freedom and
autonomy. However, research has shown that more secure people tend to
engage in more relaxed and confident exploration and learning of new activities and ideas and that security priming supports exploration (e.g., Green &
Campbell, 2000; Mikulincer, 1997). In the domain of career choice, it has
been found that adolescents with more supportive parents or friends have
an attachment perspective

301

Copyright American Psychological Association. Not for further distribution.

more positive attitudes toward career-related exploration and a stronger

sense of autonomy and mastery in choosing a career (e.g., Blustein et al.,
2001; Schultheiss, Kress, Manzi, & Glasscock, 2001).
Studies of the extent to which a persons goals and plans are internally, autonomously regulated also point to the importance of other peoples
supportiveness (see Chapters 12 and 13, this volume). For example, Ryan,
Stiller, and Lynch (1994) found that children who felt securely attached
to parents and teachers displayed greater internal, autonomous regulation
of school-related behaviors. In addition, some studies have established a
link between attachment security and intrinsic motivation, the tendency to
extend and exercise ones capacities and to enjoy exploration and learning
(Elliot & Reis, 2003; Ryan & Deci, 2000). For example, Hazan and Shaver
(1990) found that securely attached people were more likely than insecure
ones to perceive work as an opportunity for learning, and Elliot and Reis
(2003) found that self-reports of attachment security were associated with
stronger endorsement of mastery goals in academic settings (goals focused
on learning and on expanding ones capacities). Interestingly, Roth, Assor,
Niemiec, Ryan, and Deci (2009) found that adolescents who perceived their
parents as providing a more secure base for exploration and autonomy had
a higher sense of personal freedom and reported more interest-focused academic engagement (see also Chapter 13, this volume).
This association between the availability of supportive attachment figures
and the sense of autonomy has also been examined in romantic relationships.
In a behavioral observation study, B. C. Feeney (2007) examined the extent to
which ones partners availability and supportiveness affects the other partners
independent pursuit of personal goals. B. C. Feeney found that reports of a partners availability and supportiveness were associated with a persons perceived
independence and self-efficacy, engagement in independent exploration, and
ability to achieve independent goals. In addition, one partners availability and
supportiveness during a videotaped discussion of personal goals for the future
was associated with the other partners autonomous functioning (e.g., confident exploration of independent goals). Finally, participants whose partners
were available and supportive (as observed at one point in time) experienced
increases in independent functioning over 6 months, and were more likely to
achieve an important independent goal by the end of the 6-month period.
Concluding Remarks
Although existential threats are obviously real and of great consequence, it would be a mistake to conclude that human beings are insufficiently
equipped to deal with them or cannot do so without erecting psychologically
302 shaver and mikulincer

Copyright American Psychological Association. Not for further distribution.

distorting and socially damaging defenses. A host of studies have shown that
people who have developed dispositional attachment security deal effectively with the fact of mortality, the need for meaning, and the challenges
of freedom and independence. Moreover, they deal with these threats while
remaining relatively open, optimistic, internally integrated, and well-connected
socially. We had space here to focus on only a few examples, but there are
other relevant and important studies of attachment security and honesty,
authenticity, and creativity (e.g., Gillath, Sesko, Shaver, & Chun, 2010;
Mikulincer, Shaver, & Rom, 2011). Overall, a coherent body of research
indicates that people who are treated well by others, beginning early in life,
find life engaging, enjoyable, and meaningful.
Because research on adult attachment has grown up under the strong influence of prior research on infantparent attachment, existential concerns that
emerge later in development have not been systematically tackled by attachment researchers. There are many indications, however, that if we consider adult
attachment research in the context of theories and bodies of research regarding
existential concerns, the two lines of research are compatible and have a great
deal to offer each other. For scientists as well as nonscientists, realizing that
there is more to explore, more to learn, and numerous engaging and supportive
companions with whom to share these activities goes a long way toward fending
off existential anxieties and providing life with enriched meaning.
References
Ainsworth, M.D.S., Blehar, M.C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of attachment: Assessed in the Strange Situation and at home. Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.
Antonovsky, A. (1987). The salutogenic perspective: Toward a new view of health
and illness. Advances, 4, 4755.
Birnbaum, G.E., Orr, I., Mikulincer, M., & Florian, V. (1997). When marriage breaks
up: Does attachment style contribute to coping and mental health? Journal of
Social and Personal Relationships, 14, 643654. doi:10.1177/0265407597145004
Blustein, D.L., Fama, L.D., White, S.F., Ketterson, T.U., Schaefer, B.M., Schwam,
M. F.,...Skau, M. (2001). A qualitative analysis of counseling case material: Listening to our clients. The Counseling Psychologist, 29, 242260.
doi:10.1177/0011000001292004
Bowlby, J. (1973). Attachment and loss: Vol. 2. Separation: Anxiety and anger. New York,
NY: Basic Books.
Bowlby, J. (1980). Attachment and loss: Vol. 3. Sadness and depression. New York, NY:
Basic Books.
Bowlby, J. (1982). Attachment and loss: Vol. 1. Attachment (2nd ed.). New York, NY:
Basic Books.
an attachment perspective

303

Bowlby, J. (1988). A secure base: Clinical applications of attachment theory. London,

England: Routledge.

Copyright American Psychological Association. Not for further distribution.

Brennan, K.A., Clark, C.L., & Shaver, P.R. (1998). Self-report measurement of
adult attachment: An integrative overview. In J.A. Simpson & W.S. Rholes
(Eds.), Attachment theory and close relationships (pp. 4676). New York, NY:
Guilford Press.
Cassidy, J., & Kobak, R.R. (1988). Avoidance and its relationship with other defensive
processes. In J. Belsky & T. Nezworski (Eds.), Clinical implications of attachment
(pp. 300323). Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.
Cassidy, J., Shaver, P.R., Mikulincer, M., & Lavy, S. (2009). Experimentally induced
security influences responses to psychological pain. Journal of Social and Clinical
Psychology, 28, 463478. doi:10.1521/jscp.2009.28.4.463
Coan, J.A. (2008). Toward a neuroscience of attachment. In J. Cassidy & P.R.
Shaver (Eds.), Handbook of attachment: Theory, research, and clinical applications
(2nd ed., pp. 241265). New York, NY: Guilford Press.
Davis, D., Shaver, P.R., & Vernon, M.L. (2003). Physical, emotional, and behavioral reactions to breaking up: The roles of gender, age, emotional involvement,
and attachment style. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 29, 871884.
doi:10.1177/0146167203029007006
Elliot, A.J., & Reis, H.T. (2003). Attachment and exploration in adulthood.
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85, 317331. doi:10.1037/00223514.85.2.317
Feeney, B.C. (2007). The dependency paradox in close relationships: Accepting
dependence promotes independence. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,
92, 268285. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.92.2.268
Feeney, J.A. (1998). Adult attachment and relationship-centered anxiety:
Responses to physical and emotional distancing. In J.A. Simpson & W.S.
Rholes (Eds.), Attachment theory and close relationships (pp. 189218). New
York, NY: Guilford Press.
Feeney, J.A. (2005). Hurt feelings in couple relationships: Exploring the role of
attachment and perceptions of personal injury. Personal Relationships, 12, 253
271. doi:10.1111/j.1350-4126.2005.00114.x
Florian, V., Mikulincer, M., & Hirschberger, G. (2002). The anxiety buffering function of close relationships: Evidence that relationship commitment acts as a
terror management mechanism. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 82,
527542. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.82.4.527
Fraley, R.C., & Shaver, P.R. (1997). Adult attachment and the suppression of
unwanted thoughts. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 73, 10801091.
doi:10.1037/0022-3514.73.5.1080
Fraley, R.C., & Shaver, P.R. (1998). Airport separations: A naturalistic study of
adult attachment dynamics in separating couples. Journal of Personality and
Social Psychology, 75, 11981212. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.75.5.1198

304 shaver and mikulincer

Fraley, R.C., & Shaver, P.R. (2000). Adult romantic attachment: Theoretical
developments, emerging controversies, and unanswered questions. Review of
General Psychology, 4, 132154. doi:10.1037/1089-2680.4.2.132

Copyright American Psychological Association. Not for further distribution.

Gillath, O., Bunge, S.A., Shaver, P.R., Wendelken, C., & Mikulincer, M. (2005).
Attachment-style differences in the ability to suppress negative thoughts:
Exploring the neural correlates. NeuroImage, 28, 835847. doi:10.1016/j.neuroimage.2005.06.048
Gillath, O., Sesko, A.K., Shaver, P.R., & Chun, D.S. (2010). Attachment, authenticity, and honesty: Dispositional and experimentally induced security can
reduce self- and other-deception. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,
98, 841855. doi:10.1037/a0019206
Green, J.D., & Campbell, W. (2000). Attachment and exploration in adults:
Chronic and contextual accessibility. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin,
26, 452461. doi:10.1177/0146167200266004
Hart, J., Shaver, P.R., & Goldenberg, J.L. (2005). Attachment, self-esteem,
worldviews, and terror management: Evidence for a tripartite security system.
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 88, 9991013. doi:10.1037/00223514.88.6.999
Hazan, C., & Shaver, P.R. (1990). Love and work: An attachment-theoretical perspective. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 59, 270280. doi:10.1037/00223514.59.2.270
Heinicke, C., & Westheimer, I. (1966). Brief separations. New York, NY: International Universities Press.
Hicks, J.A., & King, L.A. (2009). Positive mood and social relatedness as information about meaning in life. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 4, 471482.
doi:10.1080/17439760903271108
Hicks, J.A., Schlegel, R.J., & King, L.A. (2010). Social threats, happiness, and the
dynamics of meaning in life judgments. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin,
36, 13051317. doi:10.1177/0146167210381650
Hirschberger, G., Florian, V., & Mikulincer, M. (2003). Strivings for romantic
intimacy following partner complaint or partner criticism: A terror management perspective. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 20, 675687.
doi:10.1177/02654075030205006
King, L.A., Hicks, J.A., & Abdelkhalik, J. (2009). Death, life, scarcity, and value:
An alternative perspective on the meaning of death. Psychological Science, 20,
14591462. doi:10.1111/j.1467-9280.2009.02466.x
Lambert, N.M., Stillman, T.F., Baumeister, R.F., Fincham, F.D., Hicks, J.A., &
Graham, S.M. (2010). Family as a salient source of meaning in young adulthood.
The Journal of Positive Psychology, 5, 367376. doi:10.1080/17439760.2010.516616
Meyer, B., Olivier, L., & Roth, D.A. (2005). Please dont leave me! BIS/BAS,
attachment styles, and responses to a relationship threat. Personality and Individual Differences, 38, 151162. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2004.03.016
an attachment perspective

305

Copyright American Psychological Association. Not for further distribution.

Mikulincer, M. (1997). Adult attachment style and information processing: Individual differences in curiosity and cognitive closure. Journal of Personality and
Social Psychology, 72, 12171230. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.72.5.1217
Mikulincer, M., Birnbaum, G., Woddis, D., & Nachmias, O. (2000). Stress and
accessibility of proximity-related thoughts: Exploring the normative and intraindividual components of attachment theory. Journal of Personality and Social
Psychology, 78, 509523. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.78.3.509
Mikulincer, M., & Florian, V. (2000). Exploring individual differences in reactions to
mortality salience: Does attachment style regulate terror management mechanisms? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 79, 260273. doi:10.1037/00223514.79.2.260
Mikulincer, M., Florian, V., Birnbaum, G., & Malishkevich, S. (2002). The deathanxiety buffering function of close relationships: Exploring the effects of separation reminders on death-thought accessibility. Personality and Social Psychology
Bulletin, 28, 287299. doi:10.1177/0146167202286001
Mikulincer, M., Florian, V., & Hirschberger, G. (2003). The existential function of
close relationships: Introducing death into the science of love. Personality and
Social Psychology Review, 7, 2040. doi:10.1207/S15327957PSPR0701_2
Mikulincer, M., Florian, V., & Tolmacz, R. (1990). Attachment styles and fear of
personal death: A case study of affect regulation. Journal of Personality and Social
Psychology, 58, 273280. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.58.2.273
Mikulincer, M., Gillath, O., & Shaver, P.R. (2002). Activation of the attachment
system in adulthood: Threat-related primes increase the accessibility of mental
representations of attachment figures. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 83, 881895. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.83.4.881
Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P.R. (2005). Mental representations of attachment security: Theoretical foundation for a positive social psychology. In M.W. Baldwin
(Ed.), Interpersonal cognition (pp. 233266). New York, NY: Guilford Press.
Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P.R. (2007). Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics,
and change. New York, NY: Guilford Press.
Mikulincer, M., Shaver, P.R., & Rom, E. (2011). The effects of implicit and explicit
security priming on creative problem solving. Cognition and Emotion, 25, 519531.
doi:10.1080/02699931.2010.540110
Roth, G., Assor, A., Niemiec, C.P., Ryan, R.M., & Deci, E.L. (2009). The emotional
and academic consequences of parental conditional regard: Comparing conditional positive regard, conditional negative regard, and autonomy support as parenting practices. Developmental Psychology, 45, 11191142. doi:10.1037/a0015272
Ryan, R.M., & Deci, E.L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of
intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist,
55, 6878. doi:10.1037/0003-066X.55.1.68
Ryan, R.M., Stiller, J., & Lynch, J.H. (1994). Representations of relationships with teachers, parents, and friends as predictors of academic motivation and self-esteem. The
Journal of Early Adolescence, 14, 226249. doi:10.1177/027243169401400207

306 shaver and mikulincer

Copyright American Psychological Association. Not for further distribution.

Sbarra, D.A., & Emery, R.E. (2005). The emotional sequelae of nonmarital relationship dissolution: Analysis of change and intraindividual variability over time.
Personal Relationships, 12, 213232. doi:10.1111/j.1350-4126.2005.00112.x
Schultheiss, D.E.P., Kress, H.M., Manzi, A.J., & Glasscock, J.M.J. (2001). Relational influences in career development: A qualitative inquiry. The Counseling
Psychologist, 29, 216241. doi:10.1177/0011000001292003
Sharabany, R. (1994). Intimacy friendship scale: Conceptual underpinnings, psychometric properties, and construct validity. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 11, 449469. doi:10.1177/0265407594113010
Steger, M.F., Kashdan, T.B., Sullivan, B.A., & Lorentz, D. (2008). Understanding
the search for meaning in life: Personality, cognitive style, and the dynamic
between seeking and experiencing meaning. Journal of Research in Personality,
42, 660678. doi:10.1016/j.jrp.2007.09.003
Stillman, T.F., Baumeister, R.F., Lambert, N.M., Crescioni, A.W., DeWall, C. N.,
& Fincham, F.D. (2009). Alone and without purpose: Life loses meaning following social exclusion. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 45, 686694.
doi:10.1016/j.jesp.2009.03.007
Taubman Ben-Ari, O., Findler, L., & Mikulincer, M. (2002). The effects of
mortality salience on relationship strivings and beliefs: The moderating
role of attachment style. British Journal of Social Psychology, 41, 419441.
doi:10.1348/014466602760344296
Williams, K.D. (2007). Ostracism. Annual Review of Psychology, 58, 425452.
doi:10.1146/annurev.psych.58.110405.085641
Wisman, A., & Koole, S.L. (2003). Hiding in the crowd: Can mortality salience promote affiliation with others who oppose ones worldview. Journal of Personality
and Social Psychology, 84, 511526. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.84.3.511

an attachment perspective

307