The10wordsyoushoulduseifyouwantto

bemorepersuasive
JAYSONDEMERS,ENTREPRENEUR
13H

Thewordsweuseeverydayshapeour
realities,whetherwerealizeitornot.
Ourwordchoicescanmakeapowerful
impressiononthepeoplearoundus,
whethertheyoccurinapolite
conversationatthegrocerystoreor
duringamoreformalexchangeata
significantclientmeeting.
Differentsituationsanddifferent
companionsdemanddifferentlevelsof
vocabularyandtone,butthereare
somewordsthatholdpower,nomatter
whatthesituation.
So,nexttimeyourepressingfor
somethingyouwantwhetherit'sa
salaryincreaseorthelastpineapplein
theproducesectionhereare10
wordsthatcanhelpyougetit:

PresidentBarackObamaataTownHalleventincentralLondon.
ChristopherFurlong/GettyImages

1.'Because'
"Because"istheconduityouwillusetoexplainyourmotivationsforeveryelementofyourrequest.Inhisbook"Influence,"
RobertCialdinidescribesthisasa"request+reason"andprovesthatthiscombinationsignificantlyincreasesthelikelihood
thatyourrequestwillbeobliged.
InonecasestudythatIreadincollege(but,sadly,couldntfindtolinktohere),oneexperimenthadpeopleaskiftheycould
cutinline.Thestudyfoundthatpeoplewerefarmorelikelytoallowotherstocutinlinewhentheword"because"was
used,asopposedtowhenitwasnotused(i.e.,"MayIcutinline?"vs."MayIcutinline,becauseImverylateforan
appointment?").
Thiswastrueevenifthereasongivenwasridiculous(e.g.,"MayIpleasecutinlinebecauseIneedtogettothefront
sooner?").Theword"because"seemedtotriggersomethinginpeoplethatcausedthemtoobligetherequest.

PopeFrancistakesaselfiewiththecrowdinWashington.
DavidGoldmanPool/GettyImages

2.'Thanks'
Asimplethanksisanexpressionofimmediategratitude,andifyoustartyourconversationwithit,youllstarteverything
offonagoodnote.Youllshowthatyoureappreciative,whichwillmakepeoplemoreinterestedandwillingtohelpyou
out.Somethinglike"thanksforyourtime"atthebeginningofameeting(orattheend)isallittakestoestablishthat
positivetone.

3.'You'
Whenextendingrequests,toomanypeoplemakeitallaboutthemselves.They'llsaythingslike,"IwantthisbecauseIneed
it,"explainingtheirpersonalmotivationsorthelogicalreasonswhytheywantit.Instead,tryframingtheconversationinthe
perspectiveofthepersonyouretalkingto.
Howwillyourrequestaffectthem?Forexample,somethinglike"Ithinkyoullseeariseinsalesifyouimplementthis,"
makesyourlistenerthecenteroftheconversation,whichmakesforamorepositiveengagement.

4.'If'
Ifholdsatonofpowerbecauseitgivesyoutheopportunitytobreakasituationdowntoitsmostbasictermsbyexploring
hypotheticaloutcomes.Aslongasyouvedoneyourresearch(oratleastsomebrainstorming),youllcomeoutinagood
position.Forexample,consider:IfwegowithoptionA,wellseeincreasesinbothcostandproductivity,andifwegowith
optionB,everythingwillremainthesame.

Usingthewordcouldimpliesopenness.
SeanGallup/GettyImages

5.'Could'
Usingthewordcouldimpliesopenness,unliketheword"wont"or"never."Thiskeepstheconversationpositive,and
furtherallowsyoutoexploreyourhypotheticalfutureoutcomes,whichisespeciallyhandywhenyourconversational
partnerhasacounterargumentorrequestforyou.Forexample,"Icouldtakeontheextrawork,butIdpreferitifIhad
moreflexibilityonthedeadline."

6.'We'
Liketheword"you,""we"takessomeofthefocusoffyourownselfinterest.Asafirstlineeffect,thismakesyouseemless
egocentricandmorewelcoming.Asasecondlineeffect,itimpliesthatthetwoofyouareasingleunit,andthatany
positivebenefitforyouwillbeapositivebenefitforthem.

7.'Together'
"Together"worksmuchthesamewaythat"we"does.Itimpliesadegreeoffamiliarityandcooperation,providingakindof
conversationallubricanttomakeyourrequestseasiertoswallow.Anythingyoucandotomakeyourrequest(and
hypotheticalfuture)seemlikeamutualopportunityisgoingtohelpyouhere.

Usingmorefactsinyourdialoguewillhelpyoustrengthenyourposition
RosieHallam/Stringer/GettyImages

8.'Fact'
Theword"fact"canhelpyououtsignificantlyinyourattemptsatpersuasion.Theresonlyonecaveatthefactsyouclaim
havetobeactualfacts,supportablewithempiricalevidenceorresearchofsomekind.Still,usingmorefactsinyour
dialoguewillhelpyoustrengthenyourposition,andsecureamorepersuasiveangleforyourdiscussion.

9.'Open'
Duringtheconversation,youwontagreewitheverythingtheotherpersontellsyou,andyouwontcomplywithevery
request.Butshuttingtheserequestsdownwitha"no"ora"never"isnegativeandcounterproductive.Instead,statethat
youre"open"totheidea,butfurthernegotiationwillberequiredbeforeyoufullyagree.

10.'Will'
"Will"isthewordweusetoswitchtofuturetense,anditsapowerfulwordbecauseitimplieswhathappensafterthe
conversationisoverwithadegreeofcertainty.Statingthatyou"will"dosomethingasadirectactionprovidesaclearvision
andmitigatesthepossibilityofmiscommunication.

Thesetenwordsaren'tmagical,nordotheyaffectlistenersatthelevelofmindcontrol.But,usedinthepropercontext,they
canhelpyouopenthedoortoameaningfulandmutualnegotiation.
Youllcomeacrossasmoreopen,intelligentandpersuasive,whichmeansyoullhaveanedgewhenyoumakeyourrequest.

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