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MY MOTHER, ESTERINE

Chapter 1

She was born in Donaldsonville, (Lemonville) Louisiana, and is one of eight children,
six girls and two boys. All of whom my uncles and aunties I loved very much. My mother
was the youngest and her siblings would watch over her continuously. They visited with
us all the time. I remember how excited we got when they were here, because we knew
that they had lots of money. We could hear it jingling in their pockets as they came
through the door, Their pocket change, they called it. As soon as they could sit down in
a chair at the kitchen table, we all came in to welcome them with a kiss; we waited for
them to go into their wallets and to open their purses. And then it happened they gave
us money! Wed hurry across the street to the corner store to buy candy, chips, cookies
and soda.
They were sophisticated folks, always dressed elegant and spoke softly. They lived in
big houses and drove nice cars. My mom and her sisters loved wearing those very long
eyelashes making themselves glamorous like the movie stars. We thought they looked
like giraffes, but what do we know? We were just kids back then. She got along good
with her family. I never, saw them argue among each other. Each visit was quiet and
pleasant, just like southern living. And every time before leaving, they asked some of us
if we would like to come home with them for the weekend. And we did.
I remember how my mom (right about at sunset) liked selecting graceful music and
played it on the stereo. Yep, she would pour herself a drink and beautifully glide across
the floor. A few times dad getting in from work saw this and just stood at the door
smiling. Our friends use to tease us about it a lot, because they were always at our house.
We saw yall momma dancing. They said. Shes in the front room right now, go see!
It didnt bother us. We could hear the music playing, and it was a normal thing at home.
Heck, sometimes wed go and join in with her, we like dancing too. Still to this day, my
sisters and I do some of moms greatest moves.
I also remember one year during the Easter holiday, my parents drove down the
highway to the dog racing show. And they specifically told us to not touch those Easter
going to church dresses And when momma said something, you listened. Well my silly
brother, who always wanted to get a laugh at that time, looked at those three dresses and
decided to play with them. He tried on all three at the same time and put on a good
performance. He looked like a goofy pink, yellow and blue pastel clown. And he was
stuck in themcouldnt get out of it. When mom and dad got back home she got him
out of those dresses and he never did that again.
Heres another funny thing. Mom would send us girls to my cousins beauty salon to
get our hair done, and back in those days we had to sit under the hot dryer after the
shampoo and then have the tangles come through before braiding it. Wed watch the other
customers there having their hair done with the hot comb. We were so afraid of that thing,
so we waited for someone else to walk in (holding the door open because someone was
always standing in the doorway talking), and as soon as they did wed run all the way
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back home, and sometimes straight from the shampoo bowl. Mom use to laugh at this so
much and bought us right back there every time.

Chapter 2

Now when I was a young teenager, my parents split up. They were constantly fighting
and dad didnt want us growing up in this kind of environment. They never divorced but
actually separated and lived in different houses. This took a mental toll on mom. She tried
to be strong for us kids and kept things at home and in our lives as normal as possible, but
we could see that she wasnt capable of taking on this new lifestyle. She became very
depressed and started drinking a little more than usual. We saw the spirit of sadness in her
eyes and we didnt know what to do about it. She became very secluded and was angry
all the time. She tried to continue to work, but eventually quit the career she adored. She
just stayed at home.
I think she was praying for dad to come back, because she always sat at the window,
looking out over the parking lot hoping to see his car drive up. And sometimes he did, but
he didnt come inside (it was just to see us kids). She made sure to look her best when he
stopped by. I remember how they just stared at each other not saying a word, because of
that; I knew that, love was still there. And it was worth everything in this world to hold
on to. I could see a slight smile on his face each time he looked her way. I dont think she
smiled back though. Her reality was devastating.
As time went on they drifted farther apart. We kids were now old enough to go by
ourselves and visit with dad at his house, and we related messages from one parent to the
other. The months turned into years and in that time we watched mom struggle with
depression. We noticed that she wasnt caring about her appearance anymore and didnt
want her siblings (my uncle and aunties) coming over to the house. And when they did,
she didnt talk to them. She just sat in her chair and looked on at them. She stopped
cooking those wonderful meals, she stopped cleaning that beautiful apartment, and she
stopped living in love. Her heart was broken.
I think that she was also ashamed that her marriage was over, and wasnt comfortable
around friends and family anymore, although she never said it out loud. After all its not
what a girl dreams of when she becomes a wife. Furthermore, back in those days it
wasnt a common thing. And we could sometimes see the women in the neighborhood
talking about it (with their nosey selves) as if they didnt have anything better to do. In
spite of their gossiping, we held our heads high, and were still very proud of our mother.
And one more thing, we protected her from all that foolishnesses.

Chapter 3

Mom abides in heaven now, but before that, dad got to look upon her beauty once more.
You see, for a short while mom got better. She got the medical help that she needed and
God restored her health, both mentally and physically. It was wonderful to see her
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looking and feeling good, and to hear her laugh again was a miracle too. I remember the
day she came home from the hospital. Her first words to us were Wheres your father?
Take me to him and we did. We all got in the car and we drove straight to daddys
house.
He was anxious to see his bride again. He never sopped loving her, he inquired about
her all the time. I know it was very hard on them when the separated, and because there
are ten links in their love chain (talking about us kids) it kept them together forever.
When we got to daddys house, he was already outside standing on the front porch when
we arrived. He couldnt wait to hold my mother in his arms again. And he did. And he
kissed her. And she kissed him right back. It was the most romantic thing Ive ever
seenand it was my parents!
Mom moved in with my oldest sister and lived with her for quite some time. She liked
being around the grandkids and taking walks with them in the neighborhood. On holidays
and special occasions, wed all meet up at the house and have a nice time. It was good to
be a family again, a normal family. We ate dinner together and watched television
together, but the most interesting thing was having a wholesome conversation.
When I were singing in a group, I got visit my mothers hometown. Yep, we were
scheduled to sing at a church at seven thirty in the evening, one night only in
Donaldsonville, (Lemonville) Louisiana. The closer we got to that small town; I could
feel something in the air. As we crossed the sunshine bridge, the only bridge in town, I
gazed over at the pretty lights at the chemical plant. It was beautiful. I began to wonder
what my mother was like as a child, growing up in this community. I called my auntie to
let know that we (my band was coming, so that I could visit with her). Its a pretty place
and I am very grateful to God for allowing me to go back in time and to experience such
a special part of my mothers life.

I dedicate this little book to the memories of my mother Mrs. Esterine Madison
Gordon. I miss her and I love her very much.
Love ya, mommy, xoxox.

To all my readers
God bless and prosper,
Kertranka

Author: Kertranka Marie Gordon-Parms

06-09-2016