In todays society, often times when a child is born, the child is labelled.

Is the baby a boy or

a girl? This decision is made based on what genitalia you are born with. Then, based on this
decision the baby is put into a category that screams one size fits all. Girls are meant to be
polite,shy,quiet, and small, slowly shrinking themselves as soon as they start growing. On the
contrary, boys are told to become competitive,brave,strong and manly. This is why the central
issue that faces boys and men today, is the pressure to be masculine and manly or otherwise,
without masculinity, a male cant be a man.
The main component regarding a male's masculinity is what activities or hobbies he
chooses to pursue as a child. Society chooses to place gender norms on hobbies so growing
up, boys are taught that there are only certain activities that can be classified as masculine or
manly. A current gender norm that is imposed on young boys is that playing sports, violent
video games or overall not focusing much on intellectual abilities is what a normal boy should
do. Rebecca Walker expresses her concern about this issue when she asserts : The first steps
were clear : tell him who he is authentically is not enough; tell him he will not be loved unless he
abandons his own desires and picks up a tool of competition; tell him that to really be of value
he must stand ready to compete, dominate, and, if necessary, kill, if not actually then
virtually,financially,athletically. (575). From a young age, boys are encouraged more to spend
their days outside, playing sports, playing video games (that often promote violence). This
happens because certain activities like writing, reading, dressing up, or even being creative are
not manly enough. This biased encouragement to only masculine activities can pretty much
happen anywhere. Sometimes boys are raised in households where gender roles dont apply, or
have very loving and understanding parents that dont force children into these gender roles.
Unfortunately, boys can be pressured in school not only by peers, but also by teachers. This is
why these gender norms are a popular belief. This is how there is so much pressure on young
boys to be masculine.
There is an entire industry making money off the insecurity it forces into boys heads from the
beginning. From a young age the media portrays masculine or manly men as tall, muscular,
bold and confident with many women attracted to them. In About Men Gretel Ehrlich theorizes:
If hes gruff, handsome, and physically fit on the outside, hes androgynous to the core. (572)
This creates the idea that men should be afraid of femininity, because masculinity and femininity
should be complete opposites. So if a man is even slightly feminine he cannot be manly
anymore. Yet, its the same industries creating definitions for what masculinity and femininity
are. It is possible that if one walks into the store there will be soap, shampoo, clothing, even
ridiculously small items such as kleenex labelled mens. The soap and shampoo sold under the
label mens usually have a very strong, bold scent. It is very unlikely to find a hygienic product
for men that smells very florally, sweet or is the color of pink. It is little things like the packaging
of these products, that mostly consists of bold strong colors that sends a message - you need to
be a man. If every male woke up and realized they dont need to be full of muscle to be
considered attractive and appealing, gyms wouldnt even exist. If every man in the world
suddenly realized that they could purchase products based on what is appealing instead of what
is labelled as mens, the huge industries that create these labelles, or make products with
these labels would not exist.

Another important factor that contributes to how much of a man someone is, is how much
emotion they express or feel. Growing up, boys hear the phrases boys dont cry,be a man or
dont be a sissy all the time. This sends an indirect message that whatever boys feel is invalid,
and if they want to be manly or masculine they cannot show emotion, for that is too girly. In
Being a Man Paul Theroux asserts : Even the expression Be a man! strikes me as insulting
and abusive. It means : Be stupid, be unfeeling, obedient, soldierly and stop thinking. (568).
This concept is an exceptionally dangerous concept to be teaching young boys because it
implies that being insensitive and unfeeling is a norm that should be accepted. It damages the
fragile masculinity because showing emotion is not what societys ideal man does.However, this
should not be something that young boys think is normal because it can cause further damage
in the future.
The way we can avoid this issue is stop defining masculinity and femininity. Even in school, it
is extremely important to stop creating boys and girls sports teams. It is important to stop
constantly implying that all boys and all girls have the same interests and hobbies simply based
on what gender he/she identifies with. It is important to stop gendering everyday items in stores.
So what can stop this issue of making masculinity so fragile, is telling teachers and parents to
stop implying certain ideas on kids based on gender. It is telling sport coaches to not create
teams based on gender. It is important to question commercials, ads, the media. It is important
to question why stores have bold labels gendering items. It is important to stop applying idealic
definitions.

Writing Process Step

Reading

Time
35 minutes

Comments
I had to reread a lot to properly digest the
information.