sae dee (| ii” x sim 378 8 9 Bot ad PA aR) teen ef is Zee ‘ACT LIKE YOU AREN'T READING THIS! FSP asses seegses ARE YOU "DIFFERENT"? Reig ge | | ‘Then YOU ARE ONS OF THE CHOSEN -- and Fe B35 fog] attr allan me socal re a7 ke ers! = 3 SR, VEN MonONS KNOW: at ae THESE ARE & 2S THE END TIMES Hepeily, them ace wo difornt tags, bot never 0 ety to ari being, pestimisu OnLy J. R. "BOB" DOBBS sranps BETWEEN “THE CONSPIRACY" AND TOTAL. Peso PLANETARY FREAKOUT! gs (eI Are FOU in shape for the "PIMALS?" a3 a5 ABE) py 2 ra ony oa a =i YOU MUST BE SAVED Sy/ 28 Seah *- EVEN IF IT KILLS YOUIt Beas gs xa! Sa SO Oy ETERNAL SALVATION ~~ OR TRIPLE YOUR MONEY BACK x eee a is) ATLAST ~~ IT HAS COME ~~ the final Do-It-Yourself END TIMES RELIGION ‘or SWINGING MUTANTS & ‘TERMINAL ABNORMALS! oecg L: = wet 2a i We The Church of the SubGenius” “The World's First teeluctial Chuecs ‘Breaking the Tolerance Barrier” Nee LIVE WITH YOUR SINSH "Bob Dobb Can Show You How! a ely 4 4 {0 att hee ‘OAM APPROVED eran Bl; 3 THE “WORLD~ IN TURMOIL, D_ Settesienmeruns72-— er Or a GODDAMN PARTY? Bei °F _ Only the “Kists” from Galactic Central xnoW = but sey arent telling We jusr mignt fel used 10 aot knowing the ditterence DRIVEN TO THE BRINK OF SANITY BY THE CONSPIRACY'S FALSE REALITY. AND THE PRESSURE OF A CRUMBLING WORLD? THEN THIS MAY BE FOR YOU! you're weet sn about your ab Because everything ve 4) 10m here [SANITY te you; at eas i youee NORMAL it wi ‘ab pa Yyou are NORMAL, aren't you? “SB WARE UP! Snap se out of it! REPENT)| QUIT YOUR JOB! SLACK OFFIII WU only for a second thats aii ‘were asking Then you can go back (eateep orto Hell E YOU CAN LEARN TO THINK FOR YOURSELF -- AUT OWL BOB" CAN SHOW YOU HOW! INSTANT INSTRUCTIONS FOR THOSE WHO FOLLOW NO MASTER Tochaicaty, this organization cannot exist because itis composed of people who are 204 fo/ners. The only thi ‘most SubGenivs have in common is that they're ALL DIFFERENT -- and ‘they have NOTHING in common with the CONS.P.LR.A.CY.! (Cliques of Normals Secretly Planning Insidious Rituals Aimed At Controlling You) The SubGenius, because it does not "fit i,” ia actually better than everyone else! OUR CREED: “Orshodozy 1s The Oaly Heresy” ‘TIS INCREDIBLE NEW FAITH, AUTHORIZED TO BLASPHEME BY TAB GODS THEMSELVES, 1S THE FIRST ALL-PURPOSB BELIEP SYSTEM TO DE COMPATIBLE WITH MOST MAJOR WORLD RELIGIONS AND MANY WEIRD CULTS -- WITHOUT BXPENSIVE INTERFACES! THE QUEST: SOMETHING FOR NOTHING THE GOAL: WORLD SLACK Sy SusPucpocer: THE POWER OF ABNORMALITY, UNPREDICTABILITY, and THE WORD OF “BOB THE METHOD: TIME CONTROL™ Aarough Bullsheuering, Moreaisn, Jynisereligon. Sadafuisrises, sad the Sclence of BULLDADA™ and Stapdism™ 1 THE MOTTO: S| {FUCK ‘EM IF THEY CAN'T TAKE A JOKE.” EVERYTHING YOU KNOW IS TRUE — therefore — ONLY YOU can read what this means iat it, YOU HAVE THE POWER, “Youll PAY okra who yen REALLY Ine" = ~= bat, 196) YES = ARTER ALL THISE CENTURIES of, unized “elie” 4 eligan, (ha lly comes out and admits that Tt “CANT BE SAID becaune “TT” 16 HAT IS BEING SAID AND DOING THE SAYING. AT THESAME TIME. ‘Those vho tno} those who say don't "BOB" IS A SEX GODI? HE HAS COME AGAIN AND AGAIN TO RATIONALIZE YOUR SINS} You can lose your veginty ~ and well TILL let. you be a SubGenius! ENTER INTO COMPLICATED PACTS WNTH. TERRIBLE ALIEN BEINGS EXPERIENCE THE TRUTH. ABOUT THE SQUIRTING UNIVERSE Wo ‘Do | Really Need To Remain Entirely Human Any Longer??" REGAIN YOUR LOST YETI POWERS AS you undergo the unhallowed rites of Glendsceping and Acubesting, fordidden shapes {rom the shadows will be called forth... you will RELIVE your Inner Memories of past Reracerae/ities ._ in AUlantis, where you were once a [ullblood Yeti. superior cre ‘ur brothers Irom beyond the stars. Look perfectly nori mentally practicing the lost arts of YS7/WIHROPY™ and SCHIZOPHRENIA TRICS (aot ilegat i most states) I ‘STAY TEENAGED OR YOUNGER WHILE MASTERING THE TEENS! "UGLY DUCKLINGSI" Do you sometimes feel Ute. ‘rear avast in the Minos sit? THATS JUST WHERE THEY WANT YOU. oer pesture toi in” and. be popula’ is THE CONSPIRACY BIGGEST SNARE Ost viching you {ould be lke these pink jerks ~ if you're a loner SOREIT) 10 or 2 years (rom now, 'you cua ev ‘leid for that long, YOULL GET THE CAST LADO creeps are 30an4 bi Desson-deatening security and THIS 15 THE KEY ~if you can resch the 17h poge ofthis Paap willow hat you are a/ready Enlighened thea youSUBVERT FROM WITHIN OR WITHOUT -- THE QUICK, EASY WAY! POLITICS AREA DEAD ENDII The ony hope left for human society is PATRUO- ce PSYCHOTIC — ANARCHO-MATBRIALISM: every person a Monarch, every yard Kingdom, every child and dog a serfl g COMMUNISM SUCKS and Conspirecy-yle "Monopoly Capitalism” is a RUSE “Dob’ doesn't want everyone to be equally POOR -- fhe wants all humanity equally RICHI RICHI RICH BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS = WITHOUT WORKINGW! Ws x Church of love AND money, AND SENSE -- Common Sense, Sense of Humor, and DOLLARS AND. CENTS. TURN WATER INTO GASOLINE Look atthe word, “SubGenivs" Anybody coud guy es NOTING do Win BRATS, C5 nt of Existence, that bls ‘hat genius they have. The rtuom, ihe “foundation garment” ality. le indeed the SoNentur's Kips HAS PEER PRESSURE MADE YOU A PRETEEN DOPE ADDICT? ‘BOD” CAN HELP YOU KICK’ THOSE CONSPIRACY STREET DRUGS ~- AND GET YOU HIGHER, CHEAPER? Gotolt fate pilsand got on "Bob" ar geal a Tae pllyw/ch “Bb MORE DRUGS AND FREE PILLS: “Bolter Than The Bible* ‘When you take the PILS” that "BOB" sends you, everything seems to Fall right into place as if by magic! Your Pink Human boss, date or teacher will be bound instently under your THRALL. every customer will buy your sales pitch .. every op will look the other way. Like the Zombies for “Bob” say {over and over aguin, every day), “MORE THEM KIND PILS, oR’ Like to amoke a litle of whats in “ROMS” Pipe? ership in the Church as an ordained SubGenius iiss makes you eligible w be a the vailng lis Tor VAST SHIPMENTS of the CECAL TMMOGTALIY HERD, WABAPROPLIPULOPS. (or “FROP" for short) ~ the ‘ming-inverilag Mover which grows only by ‘moonlight fn the graves anddropplagsfdend Tibetan holymen Toad Yeus” "FROP ts abl only safer than Your cheap cy seat drgs i's PERMANENT, TOO. Mo more if own” Mo mar how much ‘Trop you ingest, UN NEVER AGAIN GETLESS HIGH. Ineresed? ‘Your mind is 2 bowling pin. The PILS™ are the ball. And only J R. “Bob” Dobbs can bow! a PERFECT CAME.” typerctssinas 6:14) Spenser in fA DOwbs 10 DRS For LEGITIMATE PROTEST GROUP HOB” ARB CERTAINLY NO CREDIT TO ANY EX «Od» is not the answer. Neither is anything else. Thisculk. the only one that deprograns ils ova zombies, ls the an by beaincels you destroyed (jou dda need them anyway), Whee you joa ibis talied Order of Scoffers Baophemers aad True Believers, You'l seady T/40E ‘CONTROL aad MEMORY EDITING ual EVEN YOU become realy a PULL THE FOOL OVER YOUR OWN EYES and RELAT IN THE SAFETY OF FOUR OPH DELUSIONS. BELIEVE OR DIE ei Uncontrolled Thinking, controlled by “Bob,” ‘vill usher in a SPIRITUAL REBIRTH and a ‘CASCADE of ASTOUNDING RICHES AND POWER {to thove “in the know” -- vhile billions of ‘deserving Conspiracy dupes FRY in HALL OW BARTHY The President thinks there should be mace RELIGION ig this country. Well, Seve. ve got ‘aligion for bit! MORE NEEDLESSLY COMPLICATED THAN THE QABALLAHII MORE AMBIGUOUS THAN THE I CHING! SCARIER THAN THE OLD TESTAMENT! MORE MONSTERS AND DEMONS THAN THE BHAGAVAD-GITAI MORE HATE AND INTOLERANCE THAN EVEN THE MORAL MAJORITY NEWSLETTERI WD MORE (SHEER BULLSHIT THAN THE BOOK OF MORMON! THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS:™ SALVATION, or SALIVA TION? Just Another Excuse for Assholes, cf the Last Bastion of ‘Human’ Dignity ?? DR, DOBES™ WOE-2-GONE" GOOD § LUCK MOTO BILE? HAYES a Guaranteed Hair Growin Formula ‘Canina Urethral Glandulars & a Cp ine rma Pinal Extract (nch-40 r ADE WPLAYSIA Z Matersat. \ ae [NOTE To TRUS SUBGENI! y i D0 NOP SHOW THIS MATERAL TO FULLSLOOD HUMANS. The humiliate ‘finding out ae iruth would be oo much for their FATHETICHUMAN MI ‘oven worse, they i a & * mantis hy are you even bothering w coud this? You don't "ge iit scoms ‘obnoriots to you. you think its “stupid because hough we understand how you thin ALL TOOWELL. you can't for ke fe of you vadersuad Rov Fe (hink, WHAT DOES Ta0S TELL YOU. ASSHOLE?? NOTE TO LOVING CHRISTIANS WHO WANT TO KILL Us: his ck. Keeping unem h THE HARVEST Mod i Yoxo contacto eiaey nace erat on et fq, HEATH to UFO debunters!. DEATH ta WRESTLING éebuakery! DEATH! TO ALL SUBSENIUSDEBUNEERSIN “WE WILL BURY YOU /"De BUMEERSI™dA. BOB° DODDS: voier-4-c-60 1985 Kee 7 "ging iP 8 i ay Your e ee. Self | eR Te yy | > JR. “Bob” DOBBS -- the High Bpopt over all SubGenii -- is no vorn-out, overused deity from thousands of years ago, bt a LIVING, BLARDING DIETY FOR TODAY. fe i the Seles Aaa, the Now Man, ‘te Man of Tomorrow, and the key 10 the Ostewsy 1S HIS PIPB." “(Govecletsians 314) Ibis bocae The Conspiracy fears ‘arto tho depihn of toi Heard sovlethal they try vo water down hin terrying message -- and would even day that he exists a all He started faving hits of his preseace Inthe eneesy ds ofthe 1950s, folloviag his Dive Bmaculaton by JHVH-I Ils ~ alien Spacw God from some Corporate Sin Gaiety. Today, despite Bervecuion and hareassment, his Chuteh is the Zotto of week falgons, etching «boody 3 on the beely seat of The Conspiracy! Ho is hore to SMITE the Mediocretis, Assous, Goes, Conformers, Nous Baebes and Keos ~ the FALSE PROPHETS and PINK BOYS who have mado "NORMALITY: the NORMIL ALL PIMES ARB LIVING STERBOTYPSS ~~ dupes of the Conspieacy, lacking the spark of oviinalty vhich i the trademark of every SuBGenive soul. AND YET TRY CONTROL THE HARTI, Creatures of such BLINDNESS and VENALITY at thee LOWLY HUMANS have nover had 0 much POTER over ALL NATURE beore, and theces KO TELLING. whe” might huppen. he reins of control must be wrested rom Thetr clasay grip before i's 700 LATA “TOW Is the MYSTIC SUPERSALESMAN on whote WIIEBLING AND DEALING SKILLS the FATE OFTHIS UNIVERSE SPANOS "BOB" a HE who has come to AWAKEN US to the SLACK. that has been robbed from oue kind fot CENTURIES -- the ONLY INTHRCESSOR etween MANKIND and the STARK FIST OF REMOVAL, that al-snashiog force from Above which ve aunt simultaneous placate end dey. 9 ‘nd --.buh? You mean you really didn't know about. "Bob" and “Siack?" You didn't even suspect that there was & Conspiracy of NORMALS leeching away your Slack all the time, like ‘vampires who dont know any better -- that there are really swo species of upright bipeds on Barth, US and THEM?? You didn't know that? ‘mean you, ve mesa tne next guy. No, seriously, itncedio tno who Dat eves nob Tok or somthing ele la roed. You don't vial wo be CAUOHT with this PUT IT DOWN NOW. Thurs even WHONC {Th HS PAMDNLET your ba vue ou aahre mont bw GRATY EITHER ‘THAT OR ELse THROUGHOUT YOUR ENTIRE LIFE UP TIL NOW YOU HAD BEEN HYPNOTISED INTO THINKING EVERYTHING WAS OKAY, BUT SOMETHING IN HERE HAS TRIGGERED THE SCALES TO FALL FROM YOUR BYES, BUT YOURE NOT READY YET..yo'e avng nteae oligo Ds Ve, IF YOU WAVE READ Tas somewuae weroxe, THERE! WE DID ITI we OT YOU TO READ THIS FAR AND WOW /7's Too LArar By the vay, it wasn't the words that held the code-iggee™ it vas TE HITE SPACES AROUND THE BLACK LETEERS. You willateday be glad wo have done this to you, because FEW YOU ULL EVENTUALLY BE § ‘STOOGE WARRIOR for SLACK and FREEDOM -- i not now, then at least in some future lifetime in which you have tore ball or ovaries, ms ec na are ‘What is Siack? It you have to ask, you can never know. You were born with it -- everyone is born with Original Slack — but the Conspiracy has moat of it now. hey don't even know what it /s, but that hasn't stopped Them from siphoning off what litte you have /e/t (Tho stealing of Slack paradoxically becomes easier the les of i there is around.) The Siack that can be described is not true Slack. By definition ¢ is indetinable. True Slack #s “Something for Nothing.” It is « kind of direct perception, untettered by so-called "Common Sense.” Happiness is agony compared to Slack. Compared to Slack, NIRVANA is like having your eyes slowly gouged out vith « ‘carrot-peeler while recieving electroshock. Ten hours spent basking in the White Light ofthe Ultimate is lke ants crawling up your nose and burrowing deep into your sinuses while you ate dying of thirst in the desert, in elation o 47 e/gth of # millisecond of Slack. So you must ask yoursell; Do you have Slack? Do you? How would you know? Sack fs different things to different people. For 3/4 of the world’s population, Slack is a good meal And if things keep getting worse, someday Slack for ANYBODY could be /ust one more breath of BEAL AIR. For you, at this point in the 20th Century, Slack is probably tied very clotely to MONBY. This is because the Conspiracy has made it teem NATURAL that you have to “work” to “buy Slack” IV's ‘mindboggling how completely They have reversed the natural order of things, and how easily we sll fll for it. Although SubGenit by definition are never Consplcacy dupes, most of them are Conspiracy SLAVES, ‘The reascn They have been so success(ul these last 10,000 years is that -- ironically -- at any given tine you actually have more Slack than you can possibly appreciate wndil 1 is taken away. You ate HALF ASLESP uatil that bappens -- and ater it does happen, youll never again have a chance so be /ulfy awake. lis, tose the proper expression, FUCKED. By the same foken however, Slack cannot be bottled or sold — thus itis really FRBBI You dor/t even need “Bob” to find it; you need only develop your "Slack Awareness.” “Bob's teachings can expedite thit ‘process, so that it sowha//s until you get more and more Slack with Jess and less work, Or, rather, through ree/ work, instend of wage drudgery. For Slack isn't exactly laziness, But x kind of active #1010, is what “Bob” cals “surfing the Luck Plane” -- floating down The Path of Least Resistance -- EXPLOITING your MISTAKES. You ‘aegete effort” by not trying, by not even doing .. by merely “leting ‘When you can finally let go and just °SBB" rather than “look,” then ‘and only then will you truly be able to "PEB FREELY.” Only then will ‘you have achieved Achievingness w/thour irying. «+ Once you do have Slack, you don't have to worry about sharing It because ‘no matter how much you powess, ten 28 as much is radiated out. And ‘can mean INSTANT MONEY -- LUCK AT ‘THE RACES — AN AVALANCHE OF FRENZIED SEX -- ANYTHING YOU DESIRE! "ob" ian't 90 lucky because he's smart, but because he might as well be incredibly stupid by “normal standards. If you could be # tenth e¢ dumb as “Bob your mistakes, blunders, follies and fobles would become a+ profitable as his. To truly now Nothing - ah, it but we only could Human native vould. improve 4 There’s no ‘prob aillionfold! —with “Bob!”2 EIDTUES. os sronsro rane ime tt eunneceon a Toil dthtseye ci hase A ating i'n tfc ohne 6 9 care acs tn] erent eect eicalled OPER eel ei however, THB BARTH ZS CAVING IN. The pesticides Grandpa used are Ses elX wil dom onl og tal be um ORE feaving their brands on the new babies’ genes. The kids get better pareve rents er eae, droge in grade school now than you did in college. There ere cites of catalysms on Barth while bein ino Overaen 40 Sorel enc a oer the wrt flo people who ae satin © ‘Poor Fem mer, SUPERIOR MUTANTS whe vil ed NEW RAC he ‘vant back what they think YOU TOOK, and yet you have to work like & MASTER RACE, because it comes in ALL COLORS) to the PROMISED og ust to teop what you sh/a# you have. On tp of all that, the LAND, the Pleasure Dimension of ETERNAL SLACK AND CITORSPASMIC, Russians have a cocked and loaded gun pointed at your head right ‘oozquiRr. e tow — but dont feel bad, youve got one at somebody's head over Ofcourse, the mor im there, oo! st) "THERE IS A HELL, stright - and YOU'RE ALREADY JW 17]. © BORLENOW! We MUSTENOY our Destiny? (Of cvuce, tia in mecely the TOP FLOOR of Hall, tbe easy part..ke (fp «latd¢meaaine sever Teas compared ther PINTS, yore 44067 Beer you det ave ny youre Het Ye art whre on Ph & ‘Wait. Wait. They're watching. Act Tike you aren t reading the Sered may choos to say and verter the truly gone wha oie yondrous fal ALEE We Se ae Tania Cet Ike Eel Soaeo te Un you be Asse you Just found tls trae. get fay to tho Slack - sort of -- and other times i's drawn up sips. But it keeps Halo Soe Berne cc eee aes So ageetuian a aest or paat aaa ee aa jor eat eedirase ou TEA ye ee a = chet Sim. The Cnpacy aot YOUR SACL, ad y's ILEND? Dobbs’ Preseriptares tll us that The Angelic Hos the “Tiss are heaelves maroly tweezers” usedby higher fu vell be atverving vs through alcrescope. Beyond our i ya are vas bodilss POWERS of Dark aad Light, Ticked ine constant srugale and WE are THEIR WEAPONS AGAINST ONE ‘NOTIN in the APOCALYPHCSHIT STORMS CE THE NET 00 YEARS ‘Will you let yourself he manipulated like a puppet by the vile, ©" semonie KLDER GODS into freeing them from their teons-old in HELL NOW, and you don't even KNOW it, because /ife om Earth is banishment, to RULE this planet in their SIZELESS GRIP, or will you Hell, without “Bob. 968] CLEAVE to "BOR" and be manipulated like puppet by ‘Ais Master ‘sie) , JRHOVAN-1 (ake WOTAN and RA, Destroyer of the Unclean), and His But it cou/d be worse, You could suddenly be crawling out from «2! y, underneath radiosctive rubble with your fingers falling ofl You vq alacic “sidekicks’the REBEL GODS: They Whom men call BRIS Gould, suddenly. be attacked and tortured by a mad slasher! You 2, DISCORDIA (ISIS, Kall -- the med pagan goddets of iseling ‘could be head-on-ed by a drunk driver tomorrow on the freeway ~ CHAOS}, the inutterably ancient SEX GODDESSES, NUNU and NARNINI, ‘but not be completely killed. So you should console yoursel, or G'BROAGFEAN, the Unpronounceeble, or BANONO, the vindictive through everything that befalls you, with the thought that doroes foddemonest who delights in ruely dashing the plans of fols?77 could alvays be MUCH, MUCH HTORSE than they ate nov. Dont ' dnd what ot SBR mE Wha of Wig CMa2 { kill yourself yet; wail nd see what worse /xve awaits you! Betray aa3sconssrecys¥SGian il cue et oe Besides, in the meantime, They'll make sure you have plenty of Rai yoga nt Conse es ee servitude to the "Hider Bankers of the Universe” and their MINIONS in ‘Their FALSE Slack -- false work, false money, false sex, fase love, Re rarer aycrid Govecoesaiif abv oun yO CHT’ SURCCT2Nd fale TRUTH 2 ae Suet douse ad shade hago. Seer ort ase eecierace retrace (or 08/0) ty Church Hierarchy. ‘They are POISON for you-- POISON) =) ‘and the TRUE ORIGINAL FERTILITY CULTS that will someday instigate Most Slack Abuse comes from the system buckling under the weight of is own normalcy, and taking you with it. Something's goto ‘an eye-waleringly orgasmic Ono: World RELIGION of endless, delerious plessuces?? 5H? RN? tive and YOU are that something! Youll HAVE Co go crazy, to stay Sane! You i! be forced fo slop being aorare. Bu, i return for has 7a delaware taving the weld the world OWES YOU ALIVING. YES ~- 17'S TRUBI MetyenSOOMSRER LATER no mer br INNER PEACE HOW Pare ak be WILL YOU BE READY??, “=== ifs Ay WILL YOU HAVE AN “OUT” WHEN THE WHOLE THING BLOWS?? Join the Church and DISCOVER YOUR DESTINY. iden yourvell in’ to the the Throne Office of DOBBS for metapeychic emacusiory. trance processing” computerized Blemish Reading nays, and divinely inspired Interpretation of your tridigial ie ‘Trait Anewerearefeuout fs Jerusalem DOBISTOWN an the jungle Malaysia for your Iailiato dad their Tibetan advizors will whiffoad! your Pay-stench Aurshm this beoket. You deat enials and £2za Dallas and jes abave toaery in ont” us sign the cop @" at Kaldit ear malbor, ich ‘villunsver oor prayer YOU'LL BE WAVING YO THOSE PINKS FROM THE X-SHIP, ON TOUR WAY YO PARADISE WHILE THEY COOK BELOW IN A HELL OF THBIR OWN MAKINGI NOT ONE EVER RETURNEDmr petite Mra ere etna oe File alee orem Sea es eae Tease elds DONT WARN? A MOMTRN ie nc deci tteaneatenea isi sasiete nae Eaereeet ta cree HAS GIRMME TIRES eoste enea Tes eee NES coe Hteeal tay lapses c herain oases all its fancy trimmings, is still just a cickety shack made by stooges Ste steer gee ee tuatinepre mC nag NeE Ca Sey PaaS erecta as Meese ae na Lene eee ae, Sm am an aa ea eT The Pavement of Hell Road Sete tial ty eae aces eee secre erence CONQUEST will be just that: GAMES, played with even MORE fervor and ett ee ur at iy ee ia eae a ia ety uals OTHE i ujeasnas oe ET Be minim nae wen Re reenter re eae Sin prec mes eae ee Birra tempo een Boats eee a SETAE ee oto Tustin CASE ‘ere people in cntrge who realy ida / care What ‘Might be lat of the pfeast after ey gu tacough Wilh {Not at things bave GOTTEN You understand but Jus in CASE. ané thie pasphlet it ddnvexacly all you where fo g0 for secret meetings, becasse these yaar characters were too sactod oUt and/or harried Y the Ginspiracy to be oven chat organist singly let you tnow that there VERE WEIRODS LIKE TOU thal you ‘ould maybe even TRIST. Bocas if the ANFULCRAP ASSHOLES wil gan up Cute ‘sbnormais" whe Buu IAT Fe sees iy tha asset secs tit al @'decone’t weer tt A ait nate han espe of propaganda and ul febaro thn ive pepfd' opm be siangest bacedy hui Beno Bsbadte WeeEA AS Pores ect ia ta au van JN sg the the ing you need W soho a gle ins troup aad beds, Hit pals baaiadane Sills Shai naw ai at Neuen esas te pe amlgeny, Sod aster quit yoo get feb an whedon iy von ke cde Cet foe were seriou or i eva A Si eT ede qt fr Cou aarp Sjerat de actor tan india af ee eto MIO PornowT ae ame ro reLt 50 _)), aetrnet Wott rab costo teat te aintlg “cada ting be reel? thie REALLY mail te hs lg shat estat knw aout? Orayh ve aad ut is Hib crap somewhere Su eae ie ss as off on aan tain sees edd cures ‘rn yan poves of LE aehog the wah is SENG sar Va atog neues Sere? Sub igen sno ct gif DYER, GONFIRAGT the Gonmpirecy oe tuatstee KOH DY) sere Cnanecy ese i's acy Ce at Denna wit guphrinoy vase dob ist reat ‘ing tae Canticle pertncny oof vue ENIRE ley duane a theres nea enous of at w-ge erin the Caan ta fat tess ena Si is Stone karnkeh uN BTS PAT ere ICIS NAL, Beets composed of ORNATE TEL Consul ould’ psy Env vn ivariboutteboto sek at tat ule snow he HALTED, or SCRENED ‘UP, KNOCKED WOBBLY by some "bug" fait ome ie uncuy Ball of abaormally that could gum vp the motor /vst before the dams thing tlled over the fdge ofthe lit = SAVEDBy « monkey vronch inthe New ob” is dead. Thats right -- J. R. “Bob Dobbs was thot and killed by The Conspiracy on January 21, 1984. That little bug isnt Za that Conspiracy machine anymore...and itll rll over YOU ‘unless YOU TAKE UP WHERE "BOB" LEFT OFF Pil, in eretutable. Because of "Bob aj, WIL YOU BE THE LAST ‘BoB’? @) But WAIT == just act normal. Theyre coming, again. Hige thes pamphiet Mt they find It on you, tell them you just found It and haven't read (t yet and maybe they! let you go. Anh, whew. Theyre gone.. for a minute, anyway. (Hell, forall we now that could have been one of US in disguise!) But it won't be long before the next one comes along, You may nave to /oot normal.. even cf normal, But dont be ormall Don't backslide! Bob" Dobbs could be back 41 any moment? On tbat day of reckoning, you don't want tofind out you Grified over to the wrong side of the battle line w/thour even Tome AS BET OC wuat 4F 2 CEB ant a ind of hyp in you that vould Zura. you inte ‘rings society. an ‘unde id an unspoken "sho wereBIZARRE TRADE IN HUMAN BEINGS! You may be suferiag under many potentially gerous misconceptions abel The Church of the iniue. This fet some sal ‘comedy publisher vorking fut of tn anonymous gerre. ‘inglomerste of talented, wealthy. profesional ‘haormals with stato of-the-art equipment, livin Ieup ine dovatown Dallas syscrape “And thats only The SubGemios Foundation, Inc. ur publications are merely the TID of x ROGUE CeRERG of real-world acuviem By thovsande of Uncoatrollable "Zombies for “Bab” e's way foo late Tor us to stop thea aov.. The World SUbGenits Chureh relellessy replicates fuel Ieussome tenements in basements and acs, sand igloos, everywhere, bul grovs like fn sick "Out Blowout Teering over a lui transcendent ulated Alfred Newman. the "New Man, his Face Weekly lo ministries infect many cies, and the Media Barrage Tapes are heardon hundreds of Independent and pirate ations around he word i SubGeniue marriages (which Perform ence Ordained!) be fundreds ef schirms spinoffs covens und he ike ‘lighting the good name of the Orthodox Father Church: an infinite number of asinine leesuged “Tubbis""making is ok supld: and Conspiracy manufacturers ‘legally selling hoolegged Dobe ets and buione We've held succesful (and lucrative) revivals al the hepper niphichibe ‘ves juatyards and art museums around the Country! meat which have erupted into Bear-roisof' ‘bileroreligious ecstacy, CGhurch-alnate bands carry the message to the los souls of the younger generation ~ someday, “ans FoR "AAS vil Be Mager than the Beales. Many yearly conventions and secret Conclaves of ‘The Hest have teen perpetrated (and documented by numbertess nding media is) Mess " {hea Suppresed) our Auge "HORROR. BIBLE THE BOOK CGV SUBGENUS, Wwe have been investigated by The Secret Service, the Dept of Alcabol, Tobacco and Firearms the FM and the CIAs and probably fhe "Men in Black (FUCK YOU,” ALIEN SHIT-MONEEYSD, A ms 8 Si ‘THE DREAM BECOMES A REVOLUTION [5 What makes one different? De ny Paes ‘The Cleray includes many famous rock siars tris, ellavs, feeake af nar, plus unild Thousands of obecure burn-out, old fel, rceet. biome, prisoners, nobedes, and” NICE FAMILIES Tig eWorld riot indo Careh NOT TAL EMEA = tecabse “Doh ea pati, dessa eles. Uatatpyers ‘shuld! to fubidian religions they ‘might aot happen la There are ENTIRE BUSINESSES aevatd to Dob bars and children named after him, jobs quit foe {atgoed a te butts of hookers and tiny ads for tae Church are ‘nirors and bus sation isin and adult networks te unusual and. sppeesed fed Inthe URED Journal, THe STARK FIST OF REMOVAL. The mail ihat"the Church recieves is cadescribable Countless ‘are the witnessing: for Dobe Supernatural Sack ‘Maple: “Bob does /adeed ERIE the MUTANTS) To sme minds afraid w accept the wrth. the Church ie marely the biggest collective art project, orpoton, tinge the Pyramids Others bate, fea ts call ur the “Mockers thet shall come inthe Ea Times” Itwe are thse Sorkers, then they should THOM US for helping to FULFILL BIBLICAL PROPHECY The Church Pas given alte jerks an xeuie to he even more sbnoxios; but i hes also liven many CRUCIAL INDIVIDUALS the excuse to REP LIVING Trabe Church is just aig ga nas crossed over tho border of Become. perhaps, 4/07 ree/ HELL. FOR ALL WE ENOW. THIS MAY "BE THE. MONSTaGUS ONE-WORLD RELIGION Pe OPISIED ‘And. in Tact if The Conseiracy ver ver IL COULD HAPPEN! The ine the RUE Chueh ll on And change disguises, besavse mus alvays crop Up where sey least expect it ike Yul the Chueh fh Aisguise itself as ANTTEING i le nore lle churches. Yes, af P means this Chareh ie Bull on hgreat Bay each of nye, changing with ach weve that comes in il where. sp Feliinn be without ie Tee measite of ypecesy?7 "The Conepiracy cals humar” because ne one can ate theulltuth thi Church isn ok, Pink Boy. SSobGentus CONFIDENTIAL iti tho JORE you can BELIEVE IN. And if ‘mately FAD, merely the"Taest ching te (he ONLT Tats hing” that sts FUREY. The Chureh IS a MYSTERY — here to remind some that the mysterice all ose. and ta thes Gat they ae one ak th ‘hy do we do ls? Not for ar. certainly not cot of any sense of duty te mashind..we defor stony! tnd Tor THESLACE, OF CORSE! And Wwaetever it cakes labekr “bobs” word of Slack othe Shckiew, for nego No mar now much ood spied a aur noble le how stupid ve must ior even de, WE MUST CONTINUE, For cur holy tion packed entry theworlti= aad ¢hea 50 y= ana fa thal 900 = gut yore ordslament perso bscrption of STARE FIST magazines jack up your Toiglan, fos Ick and ENOT! 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